Conversation I had with Victor on the way home:
me: Yeah. Because there’s nothing more helpful than God in a three-way.
me: That church sign we just drove past. It encouraged people to pull God in on a three-way when they’re in trouble.
Victor: I’m almost positive it didn’t say that.
me: Well, it implied it. It said: “WHEN TROUBLE CALLS, CALL ON GOD.” And you can’t call God while you’re still on the phone with trouble…unless you call him on a three-way. Or unless you’re at work and you schedule a conference call. Or if use Skype or something.
Victor: I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take those signs quite that literally.
me: Of course not. Because God isn’t in the phone book. The three-way is implied. Or…hypothetical. They should have just written “Have an imaginary three-way with God.”
Victor: No one should ever write that.
me: Oh, because people get upset if you say “imaginary” and “God” in the same sentence? So instead you’d have to say “Have faith in three-ways with God.”
Victor: No. Because you’re not supposed to say “three-ways” and “God” in the same sentence. We’re going to hell just for having this conversation.
me: If God wasn’t unlisted I’d call Him and explain that I’m referring to conference calls.
Victor: I’m sure He’s eavesdropping. You’re probably fine.
me: “Have faith that God is okay with you talking about three-ways.” That’s what my church sign would say.
Victor: I’d probably go to that church.
me: Who wouldn’t?