Conversation I had with Victor on the way home:
me: Yeah. Because there’s nothing more helpful than God in a three-way.
Victor: WHAT?
me: That church sign we just drove past. It encouraged people to pull God in on a three-way when they’re in trouble.
Victor: I’m almost positive it didn’t say that.
me: Well, it implied it. It said: “WHEN TROUBLE CALLS, CALL ON GOD.” And you can’t call God while you’re still on the phone with trouble…unless you call him on a three-way. Or unless you’re at work and you schedule a conference call. Or if use Skype or something.
Victor: I’m pretty sure you’re not supposed to take those signs quite that literally.
me: Of course not. Because God isn’t in the phone book. The three-way is implied. Or…hypothetical. They should have just written “Have an imaginary three-way with God.”
Victor: No one should ever write that.
me: Oh, because people get upset if you say “imaginary” and “God” in the same sentence? So instead you’d have to say “Have faith in three-ways with God.”
Victor: No. Because you’re not supposed to say “three-ways” and “God” in the same sentence. We’re going to hell just for having this conversation.
me: If God wasn’t unlisted I’d call Him and explain that I’m referring to conference calls.
Victor: I’m sure He’s eavesdropping. You’re probably fine.
me: “Have faith that God is okay with you talking about three-ways.” That’s what my church sign would say.
Victor: I’d probably go to that church.
me: Who wouldn’t?
“We’re going to hell just for having this conversation.”
See you guys there!!
Brilliant. Why did I never think of this? Talk about the ultimate mediator.
God was eavesdropping, he says you are fine but only because he has not laughed that hard in a long time.
PS he said St. Peter still hasn’t stopped snorting.
I’d be on like, 5 committees of that church!
I’m sorry to inform you, Jenny, but God’s number is listed – it’s just hidden from you. He says you’re too damn hilarious – I mean blasphemous – to have his direct line. It’s time you knew the truth.
Using three-way calling for that is only common sense, right?
Besides – wouldn’t God be too busy to take a phone call just because trouble called you again? How often does trouble call you? It calls me a few times a day. I’m pretty sure that IF God answered the phone, he’d probably just suggest that I get a new number or a restraining order against trouble. Maybe just don’t answer. Them he would tell me that he doesn’t have time for my shit and if I don’t stop wasting his time, he’ll just take the rest of mine.
Way to be an asshole, God…
I really don’t think God is that judgemental at attempts at humor. If he is…I’ll be keeping you company in hell. Promise.
Oh wait – this just in. . . hold on I’m getting a fuzzy communication from God here. . . lemme just adjust the antenna . . . got it. God says that he’s not real, and that if you want help with trouble you should look within to the god inside of you, and then look around to the god inside everyone. Which is both comforting and oxymoronic at the same time. Good luck with that.
I’d go to that church too.
I went to a wedding once where the priest kept referring to the marriage as a three way with God. I do not lie. It was all we could do not to die laughing in church.
Do people even do 3 ways anymore?? I mean when I was young me and my girlfriends all wants to be together… but these days? Im thinking God should have a hashtag…. That was all probably way more entertaining for me to type than for you to read 🙂
You should be confident that God would definitely have a three way with you. Via Skype. And I agree with Victor for once, I’d for sure go to your church!
Xoxo
yup, God is totally into 3-ways
You are seriously the best! LOL
So then, God is condoning three-ways?
When you have a three-way with god, don’t just show up naked. Wait for the nudity to develop naturally.
There seems to be a breakdown in communication at my house, too. This time of year, the kids’ prayers start with, “Dear Santa Godsus, …”
http://www.momintwocultures.com/2012/02/phalluses-and-other-inappropriate.html
And now all I have in Joan Osborne in my head whining… “What if God was one of us….”
If God was one of us, he’d be laughing his ass off. Three-ways with God = awesome.
If people from that church knocked on my door and asked to talk about Jesus, I would TOTALLY invite them in for coffee and handcuffs. I mean cookies.
I’ve got my handbasket all picked out!
And this….is why you’re popular with swingers. For real, but don’t ask me to explain because it’d just be too confusing.
God has had me on hold for quite awhile. I understand my call is important to him.
On the plus-side, hell isn’t that bad. And Satan is a little darling. No, really; she is.
Somehow I am now hearing Manhattan Transfer singing Operator, Information, Give me Jesus on the line 🙂
I adore you!
Three way CALLS is not what I thought you meant. My mind definitely went to the gutter.
I would totally go to that church. Also, I’d look forward to seeing what other, non-three-way referencing signs it would have.
HA!
a friend just RT the link to your blog, so I am new here and I have to just laugh. this is hilarious.
I have no other words because I am still laughing and I am now following.
Thank you for that lol
ROFL!It’s true YO!
You have the best conversations. Ya know, that would explain all of the Televangelists from the 1980’s getting caught with mistresses. They claimed God talked to them every day.
If there are three-ways in church now, I might convert back to being Christian!
I’d go to that church, too 🙂 I think you should start one!
“When trouble calls, call on God”? How about you just spring the extra $1.00 per month for caller ID?
Now I have that song “3-Way” from SNL stuck in my head. Not that I’m complaining. Because now I’m also laughing my head off.
Funny as always.
You and Victor have the funniest conversations. Love this. 🙂
If God exists* and is perfect**, theoretically he*** has a perfect sense of humor. Which means he’s laughing his ass off at this post.
* Not saying he does
** Not saying he is
*** Not using ‘he’ to imply God is male, just easier than typing he/she/it. Which would have been a lot easier than typing this huge postscript.
Operator
Information
Get me Jesus on the line
(Pretty sure Jesus didn’t go in for three-ways, either.)
Church just became so much less boring. I’ll share that with my pastor. “Your sermons would be awesome if you talked about three ways.” I might have to explain three way.
Oh, this was so much what I needed just now. Thanks so much for the laughs.
Wait, wait … we’re all going to hell?
SHOTGUN, BITCHES!
God, God can be such a pervert!
No wait.
I’m thinking of you and me.
Nevermind.
We’ll all have a huge ass gathering down there just for reading this, HAHA loved it!
I swear I could have had this conversation with my husband. Loved it and really your church sounds like my kind of church!!!
… and we’re probably going to Hell just for reading that conversation!
~EdT.
Umm… isn’t Christianity all about 3-ways? The Father, The Son and the Holy Spirit? I thought the whole thing was about a big man-on-man-on-man 3-way. You’re telling me I didn’t understand Sunday School? You’re telling me my whole religious upbringing to believe that homosexuality is awesome and that 3-ways are the only way to fly has been wrong???
Wait, God’s number is unlisted???
And suddenly the Holy Trinity makes sense.
Did I ever tell you your book made me laugh my gallbladder out? True story.
I don’t even want to go to Heaven unless I can talk about three-ways there. I mean, come on, could you really go an entire eternity without mentioning a three-way?!
reduced to crying and giggling with intermittent snorts of renewed laughter. I should probably invest in adult pull ups.
“Three-way” must be some American English term for telecommunications, because I’ve never heard it before.
I keep on interpreting it at “three-some”…
Lol, I would like to think of god as being a good debate monitor (as that would surely be his role in any kind of “3-way”). The ultimate fact checker in an argument, in any case, even if he might be biased toward the more moral viewpoint
Since God is a woman and I’m not into three-ways, I would prefer a polycom with God thanx.
I really, REALLY wanted to be a part of this conversation, but I couldn’t think of something funny to say and I didn’t want to just post my usual, “lol”. So, I decided to phone a friend and I sent my husband a text message that said, “QUICK! Say something funny about threeways or God.” So far, he hasn’t responded.
You’d think he’d be used to this by now.
As someone who’s about to endure WAY TOO MUCH time in the company of way too conservative people (my extended family, three of whom are Methodist ministers) I want to put this entire post on a t-shirt. Hell, it’d have to be a tunic, printed front and back.
I’d sing in the choir at your church. Then I’d bake cookies for the bakesale at your church to apologize for the singing.
*This* is the feel-good Thanksgiving post I’ve been looking for. Thank you.
God has a tremendous sense of humor… just look at my publishing career!
I think when you try to call God for help you never actually get Him. It’s like when you call AT&T, you never get the CEO, you get some woman in The Philippines. So I think when you call God you get a three-way with some woman from The Philippines which may be OK depending on your mood.
I would love to be in one of your conversations with Victor. Not to add anything. Just to enjoy the non-sequiturs first hand.
And I loved Heretic Husband’s comment. (#37)
Do you think God still uses ICQ?
I’ll run the cake walk at your church basement parties!
An update on my last comment:
My husband finally responded. He said, “What do a woman’s orgasm and God have in common?” (I edited out all the misspelled words and horrible sentence structure because I don’t want him to be “that guy” on the internet)
Expecting something hillarious or perverted, I was thrilled and said, “Everything?” Then it took him 9 minutes to respond, so I was thrilled with anticipation.
He finally said, “They’re both a mystery to men and we’ll spend our lifetime trying to figure it out.”
AN.TI.CLIMACTIC. Accurate, but unfunny.
You seriously need to share your drugs!
That did NOT go the way I thought it would. And it’s not like I’m new here or anything, so I should have known better! 🙂
You really need to write a new edition of the Bible, dear lady! Seriously. I ‘d love to see what you’d do with the New Testament…
At the very least, you should drive back to that church and offer to write their signage from now on…
I so love your perspective! You make me laugh! And I’ve seen much more explicit signs than that – like you shouldn’t just be saying “Oh God” in bed. 😉
When my husband and I got married, we were told in our ceremony, to have a threesome with Jesus. The words our pastor used were, “This marriage is a twosome. I invite you to make it a threesome with Jesus”. Aside from kissing my husband, that’s all I remember from the actual ceremony itself. It definitely woke up some of our guests as well.
My kind of church.
What about 4-ways?
Kind of need to know ASAP.
I’m pretty sure if God didn’t have a sense of humor Kevin Smith would’ve been struck down for Alanis Morrisette doing cartwheels as God in Dogma.
Besides, Borg Blog is so right: God is probably in most bedrooms at some point anyway.
Another way of explaining the Trinity, too. 🙂
Of course the Almighty is into a bit of kink. It’s in the bible… And I quote:
“Blessed is he who cums in the name of The Lord” I think I read that right.
If you wrote a new edition of the Bible, I might finally read it.
Trinitarian doctrine suggests that God is the originator of the 3-way.
You’re not going to hell for that.
I know these things because I’m a *missionary*. You can toootally trust me. *Missionaries* are never full of shit. Sometimes.
I’ll be tending the bar in hell, so stop by. Your first one’s on me.
I was on the bus in Vancouver last year, and drove past a church sign that said (no joke), “God’s favorite word is ‘Come'”. If I hadn’t been on my way to the airport for a flight, I would have gotten off the bus right there for a photo…
Gives new meaning to “multitasking”.
what’s a phone book?
I live in northern Alberta. It hits -40 here in the winter. The idea of spending eternity somewhere warm appeals to me.
I’d totally go to your church.
Watch out for the lightning bolts! 🙂
I can’t be the only person with a dirty mind. Phones are not involved with what I thought of when I read “three way” by the Bloggess.
My father-in-law said to meet him in the bar in hell. I’ll bring a cocktail to the washroom for you.
I almost drove off the road when I saw this message on the sign for the Church that was down the hill from my old house:
You are never as tall as you are
when you are on your knees
a. God IS eavesdropping. Definitely
b. This is not a “hell” offense
Maybe the church meant that when trouble calls, you should hang up and call God instead. That’s really bad phone etiquette, though. I think God would be much cooler with people talking about three-ways than he would be with poor phone manners.
It’s like I’m in heaven because I enjoyed that so much, but that can’t be right…
We’d all go to that church…
I’d go to your church regardless of the slogan. But that’s a good one.
Jenny, you continue to make my life a better place with your harity! Love You!
That’s HILARITY!!! LOL
So I’m thinkin’ that if everybody is going to call God whenever Trouble calls them, why doesn’t God just tap into Trouble’s phone line anyway and save us all the extra minute of dialing up that 3-way call?
“We’re going to hell just for having this conversation.”
Call me skeptical.
But if I’m wrong, please say hi for me to my ex …
I have to believe that God has a sense of humor about successful three-ways, botched menage a trois, and all that lies in between. At least I hope so.
Not to complicate matters, but it’s actually a five-way, right? Because of the Father-Son-Holy-Ghost thing?
Kisses,
Katherine
I have caller ID. That way when trouble calls, I know to just let it roll to voice mail. Unless it’s the fun trouble, then I’ll pick up.
And just in case anyone doubts the almighty’s sense of humor, I have 2 words: platypus. Walmart.
OMG You’re amazing! I love it!
I’m glad I won’t be the only one in hell.
you crack me up!
Thanksgiving in San Angelo on Saturday! Hope to see you there, come see how messed up my family is & you can see the creepy deer coming out of the wall that your dad made. Bring him & your mom, too, oh, and yes Victor is invited, Laura, too!
(Sadly, my cat is sick so I’m spending Thanksgiving at Taco Cabana down the road. ~ Jenny)
In God we trust…to guide us through a three-way.
We might all be going to hell for reading this, but judging by the tone of commenters, I think it’s bound to be one kick-ass party.
This sooo sounds like a conversation my husband and I would have….
I’m going to suggest this kind of signage to my church.
A lot of my Christian friends love to talk about how God has to be present in a marriage in order for it to work. (I don’t agree, I think atheists can have great marriages, but I digress.) Anyway, I thought that’s what this post was going to be about. Having a marital three-way with God. But this is funny, too. I miss three-way phone calls…
I love these conversations with Victor. They’re so hilarious.
Funniest thing I have read all day! I would totally go to the church that said ”Have faith that God is okay with you talking about three-ways.”
Funniest thing I have read all day! I would totally go to the church that said ”Have faith that God is okay with you talking about three-ways.”
I would like to apply to be the “organist” in your Church of Three-Ways. (Right Way, Wrong Way, Three Way) Also, can you imagine the performance anxiety that would manifest if God were in on a three-way? I love this thread!
God totally gets it… but bible thumpers might not. Watch your back or they might thump you with God. Would that mean God is thumping you? Oh, crap…I’m probably going to hell, too.
Our Father, Who art on hold,
We cannot remember your name.
Thy kingdom come when we’re finally done
On earth with this motherfucking souffle.
Amen.
I doubt you’re going to Hell. I mean, look around. God’s GOT to have a sense of humor, right? So s/he’s probably just laughing at your joke about three-ways.
Jenny, if you ever open a church, I want to be a congregant. Having read the bible cover to cover, and skimmed the book of Mormon, the Koran and several other religious texts, I can guarantee whatever you came up with would be no crazier than any other religion, but a hell of a lot more entertaining.
Well, except for that Flying Spaghetti Monster thing. It’s hard to top an afterlife with beer volcanoes. You could give the FSM a run for his money thought.
I suspect that I am going to Hell just for reading that conversation.
I love church signs. They are so darn creative.
I would SO go to that church.
“We’re going to hell just for having this conversation” ….. Ah, so I’ll have some wonderful company!
I think god’s pretty much cool with three-ways. I’ve been to several church weddings in the UK recently and the celebrant (vicar/priest/whatever) has made a big deal about how marriage is between one man, one woman and the one true god.
Having been raised as a churchless atheist, I had to ask my partner if this three-way thing was standard for church weddings. Turns out it is! Who knew? Turns out this isn’t a question you should ask a nice Methodist boy while he’s drinking milk. Who knew?!
At a recent wedding, the vicar had a giant Toblerone (the two foot long kind which weigh about a kilo) as a prop to help illustrate this point because Toblerones are triangular and thus a very good metaphor for a three-way. (They also have milk chocolate binding the nuts and nougat pieces, but he didn’t really get into that aspect of marriage.) The congregation got a little restive when we realised that the box was empty, and he wasn’t actually going to give the happy couple a kilo of Swiss chocolate but there were actual gasps, squeaks and a cry of ‘for shame’ when he didn’t even give them a fun size one. How are you supposed to remember where god goes if you don’t get to take the symbolic chocolate triangle home?
“We’re going to hell just for having this conversation.”
I think we all have those convos, don’t we? And aren’t they usually the best ones? 🙂
Will your church have taxidermied animals dressed in robes and posing as the nativity at Christmas? THAT, I want to see.
Good point. If God’s that liberal, I want in on that church, too.
Please write the Bible.
PLEASE write the Bible.
PLEASE WRITE THE BIBLE!
God is also ok with dogs (and rocks) going to Heaven.
I forget where I first saw this debate, so I’m pinning it on you. Hugs.
http://www.snopes.com/photos/signs/dogheaven.asp
Maybe we could get around the whole three way thing by getting a deity-inclusive G+ hangout happening?
The most fabulous church sign I ever saw said “This Week – Back Door Jesus” – I pulled over and took a picture!
What time are the services? I’m there!
Oh, how I’ve missed you Jenny. Can’t wait to catch up on soooo much good reading. Hope you are well. xo
I think God is totally be okay with three ways. Think about it, if He wasn’t then why did he make our bodies in such a way that sex feels so damn good??? Just sayin’
I so love these random conversations because they are something I could totally see happening with my friends and that makes them even better. And I’d give up my membership in Bedside Baptist to attend that megachurch–provided it started arond 11 and was done by 1 unless it was going to serve a great lunch and we could stay till 2 then.
Hahaha. Amazing.
Does this mean you were having a three way with him while having this conversation with Victor?
Because… this conversation is trouble.
If we believe that God created EVERYTHING, then surely we can’t omit 3-ways from the list. He even came up with a nice French phrase for it, cuz God is sexy like that.
You really have a unique way at looking at things. I’ve heard the phrase of calling on Him before but NEVER thought of that meaning. I figured you would just hang up on trouble.
At my niece’s wedding the pastor said “marriage is a three-way with God.” If that guy’s ok, you should be fine.
Doesn’t everyone have caller ID now-adays? How about, “If Trouble shows up on your caller ID, don’t answer it. Thank God for caller ID, y’all!” Seriously, Trouble is probably a telemarketer, anyway.
There’s a reason why people say ‘oh God’ during sex: He’s always fucking you.
my grandma used to say the food was totally going to be better in hell. so, if you’re going to hell for this conversation, hell will be funnier too. sign me up.
Honey, that was wrong on so many levels…love it!
@MonicaP: what do you suppose the atheists say when they’re knocking boots? I’ve always wondered…..
I don’t even go to church and would want to try that one at least once. So, are you and Victor going?
You need to come up to Cincinnati, Ohio. We have local restaurants (Skyline Chili) which serve Chili Three-Ways, Four-Ways and yes, even Five-Ways. People in Cincinnati are used to these terms, but tourists always seem to snicker. Also, this would seem to imply we are more worldly than we are, but don’t let our food names fool you.
Oh I soooooooo wish we were neighbors! I would so be with you on that thought! Hell, who am I kidding, that party scene from your book would make my year of I could witnesses such s miracle of raw human expression!
I wonder what the daycare program for that church would be like…
OMG, what do you eat for breakfast? I’ll have what you’re having.
Pretty sure our church (Unitarian) could have that on a sign. Except Unitarian churches don’t have signs. Well, there is the sign that says “Unitarian Church” but it is static and has no place for quips about god. And, well, we wouldn’t put god on the sign anyway. Except maybe to invite god to our three-way.
Really, a lot more people would go to church if they would put stuff like that on their signs. You are great! Weird and wonderful!
I’d pull a u-turn for that church.
Happy Thanksgiving Dearest Jennifer – to you and your lovely family!!!
I would! I mean even though I’m supposed to be a devout Hindu and all that..:P
Sounds like a church I wouldn’t mind getting up early on a Sunday for.
I’m reminded of the something*positive strip from years back, where Davan answered the front door to find missionaries. Not amused, he decided that their interrupting his morning meant he didn’t need to stop masturbating while inviting them to leave.
As for God, I’m pretty sure he’s unshockable. I mean, considering that he’s witnessed every sexual act that ever took place, and knows every fantasy that anyone ever had, without losing his essential nature and perfection.
So maybe the sign you really want to put up is, “PORN: It never did GOD any harm.”
I have the faith, too.
Does that come with call waiting?
I kinda wanna go to that church now. And I don’t go to church. Ever.
Don’t go to church, but I’d go to that one, definitely!
[Quote](Sadly, my cat is sick so I’m spending Thanksgiving at Taco Cabana down the road. ~ Jenny)[/Quote]
Hope your cat will be better soon.
Oh my, that was awesome.
I would TOTALLY go to that church. Thank God for your amazing interpretation skills bringing humour to religion 😀
This is so freaking hilarious – and the comments! LOL! Love it!!
I just wanted to know what the weather is and this shows up: Giant Pacific Octopus Outrage: Diver Gets Death Threats After Killing 80-Pound Octopus With Bare Hands (PHOTOS)
My first thought, “ACK!” Because I’m not a fan of the octopus and can’t imagine going out and dragging one to shore. Then I thought of The Bloggess because her reaction would be the same.
If God made everything, then, he made three-ways. And four ways… and… damn, God has quite an imagination now that I think of it.
If god wasn’t ok with three-ways, he wouldn’t have encouraged the nice elderly church lady to stand outside and slide 26 lucite squares on the marquee. I’d say 25 but I feel strongly that there was an exclamation point at the end.
P.S I figure out how to make my iphone dumb douche bags for me!!
I always read church signs for precisely this reason: you learn so much about how God *really* thinks.
https://foursquare.com/view_photo?id=4f56e4bfe4b01888b2d0dac9
And bears, apparently.
1. I don’t believe in God so
2. I’m probably going to hell, I look forward to meeting everyone there.
3. If I did believe in God (notice I can’t help but capitalize the name of the entity I don’t believe in) I would could never believe that said entity would send a person to hell for having so damn much fun reading your brilliance so
4. Maybe we’ll all be partying in the clouds.
I think you are ok with three ways with GOD!
If you think about it, God is actually involved in three-ways ALL THE TIME, unless God decides to give us some privacy while having sex. And if that’s the case, thank you God.
Go to Heaven for the climate, go to Hell for the company – Mark Twain
True story, is used to have God programmed into my phone. But I never had the courage to call him. And then I lost my phone.
I miss having the direct number.
Well I figure God made me this way- including my warped brain full of sexual funny thoughts and twisted imagination. Not only would I go to that church but I would actually put money in the plate when passed around instead of looking ahead stoically.
Church Of The Three-Way With God. Where do I send my tithe?
You guys have absolutely the best conversations!! Victor needs to write a book too!!
This brings me back to my Catholic School days. Which were always interesting considering I was the only Jew there. But yes, three-ways, God, conference calls…I love it. Especially because I always refer to my talks with God as phone calls, and by that I mean that I put him on speakerphone and talk to him while I do my laundry and file my nails. I mean, he’s hip. I’m sure he has at least some sort of tele-conferencing ability, or at least something not unlike Google friend time, or is it face time? You know what I mean.
For the record, I would absolutely buy a bumper sticker that said “Have an imaginary three-way with God.”
Scrolling through facebook and what do I see?
Perfect picture for this. Can’t post it on here tho 🙁
Reads:
FIRST CHRISTIAN CHURCH.
A CHURCH WITH
WEED
SEX AND TITS.
You corrupted them, didn’t you?
Team Victor!
Hahaha! I’m so glad I’m not the only one who does this with church signs. Like, I once saw “Oh come all ye faithful” and wondered if that was like yelling out “oh god!” during sex. It’s just too easy, and so FUN.
Knowing God he probably would have told Victor that the technical term for a three way when a person is referring to anything besides a conference call is a menage a trois, obviously.
Fucking awesome. You do parenting something fierce.
Yup, definitely thought this was about threesomes.
Are you awares the you can become a bona fide legit reverend in less than 5 minutes without leaving the comfort of your own home? Universal Life Church. Google that shits. I did it like 10 years ago as a joke, because you can pick all kinds of funny official revendy-type titles, like Grand Wizard, but it actually ended up coming in handy later on… I’ve performed friends weddings and funerals which was soooo nerve wracking, thank you valium and champagne, but much nicer than hiring a complete stranger if they don’t attend a church. I cannot think of a better thing than being joined in holy matrimony by Reverend The Bloggess. Unless a unicorn was the ring bearer, like with the rings on its uni-horn. Best imaginary wedding ever.
Not a Christian, but I’d totally go to a church that believed god’s cool with three-ways.
I’m going to have my hubby read your blog next time he looks at me cross-eyed. After being with me 23 years, he’ll realize he’s not alone being married to a crazy lady 🙂
FYI, my God laughs a lot and he thinks I come up with funny shit too. If you post something stupid (innuendo) on your church sign, you can bet I’m calling it out. God told you to post it so it would make me laugh right? See, my God is funny unlike some other people’s God’s.
hilarious.
I always thought a three-way was imaginary. Now I am confused.
Thanks a lot.
indian gods have orgies… three ways were a passe’ in ice age… for them!
p.s: i know my mythology well!
LOL
I can’t stop laughing. Thank God your audience isn’t uptight. Then again, they wouldn’t be your audience, now would they? Cheers!
Oh thank you. I thought my husband and I were the only ones who a) have conversations like this and b) are going to hell because we have conversations like this.
In ninth grade I had a report on Joan of Arc. A biography I read on Joan made it very clear that she wanted to be a virgin when she died. It also made it clear that she was VERY religious. I was explaining this to a friend of mine and his response was “she wanted to have sex with God”. Which I found very funny.
I just want to say that if we are going to hell, at least we are all going to be in good company. And hell is going to be HILARIOUS!
Can God be in on a Devil’s threeway? Not interested, just wondering.