Let's Pretend This Never Happened Paperback Tour

I’m going back on tour, y’all.  Last time I was on tour I got a brain in a jar and someone left a kitten on my table and we all had to be really quiet so that we wouldn’t wake it up (the kitten…not the brain).  Also, I gave a reading to several people in the Costco parking lot.  It was pretty glamorous.  You should come.  Seriously.  Please.  Don’t make me do this alone.

The Tour So Far:

March 5 ~ Paramus, NJ Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 6 ~ NYC, Upper West Side Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 7 ~ Chicago, Anderson’s Bookshop, 7pm

March 8 ~ St. Louis, MO, Left Banks Books “Drink Out”, 7pm

March 18 ~ Louisville, KY Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 19 ~ Dayton, OH Books & Co., 7pm

March 20 ~ Cincinnati, OH Joseph-Beth Booksellers, 7pm

March 21 ~ Kansas City, MO, Rainy Day Books, 7pm

April 1 ~ San Francisco, CA, Books Inc. (in the Marina), 7pm

April 2 ~ Danville, CA Rakestraw, 7pm

April 3 ~ San Jose, CA Barnes & Noble, 7pm

April 4 ~ Phoenix, AZ Barnes & Noble, 7pm

539 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Any chance of an international tour?

  2. You’ll be in my hometown…while I’m out in West Africa.


    David recently posted Having Staff.

  3. Am definitely coming to stalk you! I mean, meet you! 😉

    thedoseofreality recently posted Top 10 Reasons Our Purses Are Dragging Us Down.

  4. Charlottesville, Virginia?

  5. You circle around Indianapolis without stopping in Indy! Please please stop here! I would needlepoint you a kitten HOLDING a brain. It’s a great deal!

  6. I second Cass’ question. Germany would LOVE to have you 🙂

    Lindsey recently posted My Life Line in Media.

  7. I’ll see you in Dayton! Yay!

  8. And I JUST ORDERED THE-HARD-COVERED-WITHOUT-THE-EXTRA-CHAPTER-BOOK on Amazon for around RM 80.00 plus shipping because our money is three times of the US dollars. I just hope I know what the extra chapter is about. 🙁

  9. No stops in Tennessee?! I think you need to expand the book tour to at least Nashville, Knoxville would be preferable though! 🙂

    BeccaV recently posted Big girl!.

  10. So cool. Love the east coast/tri state area ones! WOOHOO!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Tis the Season for Saving.

  11. Please come to Dallas! My friends and I will protect you from the pretentious ones.

  12. Montreal, Canada? Pretty please? Indigo in Downtown Montreal or in Laval?? Pretty please with a cherry on top?? I’ll bring kittens and chocolate!

  13. Please come to Canada. We can be borderline crazy. But, in a nice way.

  14. You’ll be soooooo close to Cleveland, Ohio – but not close enough!

  15. Washington DC? Oh, please? Better yet, anyplace in Northern Virginia or southern Maryland! I would bring TWO brains and TWO kittens!

  16. I live in Tallahasee, the capital of Florida. Please come here! All my friends and I have read your book, and my mum’s bookclub did it a few months ago. I’ll make you a “taxidermy” cake if you come!

  17. Just ordered the PB edition, even though I already have (and have read) (and love!) the hardback edition. Can’t wait to read the extra stuff you’ve got in there. 🙂

  18. You’ll be in Dayton! Huzzah! Must start hunting down crazy taxidermy animals to bring in!

  19. Will you be coming to the UK this time?

  20. 20

    No Boston???? Saddest face EVER!!

    DevonLikesTalking recently posted The last time I went to the movies was before Justin Bieber ruined music forever.

  21. Clearly, you hate America. If you didn’t, you’d be visiting its birthplace.
    You’re probably burning a flag right now. Nice.

    Daddy Scratches recently posted Burger King spiked my co-worker’s fries with a mind-altering substance.

  22. Nothing in the Southeast? I was so hoping for another chance to skip out of work early and stalk Barnes & Noble for you (considering how confused they were in Atlanta last time). We can even have it in the bathroom this time if that would help??

  23. You’ve got to get your magnificent ass over the border – assuming they’ve forgotten about that thing a few years ago – and come to Canada, Jenny! Toronto is most likely the closest locale you’ll be able to grace with your presence, but I’ll willingly make the drive – I’m a Niagara Falls boy through and through – to be granted an audience with The Bloggess herself.
    I’d love to meet you in the wonderfully imperfect flesh…

  24. Oh my gosh! Jenny, you’re coming to Dayton!? I am so excited! Squee! I totally can’t wait to meet you. If you’d like, I can bring one of my 2 crazy orange cats so you feel more at home while you’re here!

  25. So close, and yet so far.

    Holly Folly recently posted Moving the Wood Stove..

  26. No DC area stops? 🙁

    carmen webster buxton recently posted How to help bookstores (if you're a famous author like Neil Gaiman).

  27. Dayton Ohio? Dayton Ohio? Seriously?!?!? NOTHING happens in Dayton Ohio! Oh wait, it will on March 19th! WHHHHEEEEEEEEE!

  28. Excellent! You’ll be five minutes from my house when you go to the Paramus B&N. I know what I’m doing March 5th 🙂

  29. I would chew my left arm off to go. I’m right handed though so…

    Mom Off Meth recently posted People, places and things..

  30. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your three California stops happen while I’m on spring break (I’m a teacher).. I’m aiming for the Danville one!!!!! WAHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lisa-Marie recently posted Breakfast For Lunch.

  31. You’re coming to Phoenix while I’m in Hawaii… I will miss you again. FML.

  32. No Milwaukee, WI? So hurt, I have been sharing your book and telling everyone I know that this is a must read and still, you won’t come see us? Sobbing in my coffee on a Monday morning. 😉 have fun and behave yourself.

  33. boston, please! if not boston how about acton, mass? there’s a great indie bookstore there and an awesomely divey chinese restaurant down the road that serves killer mai tais…you show up, i’ll buy the drinks!

  34. Awww darn. The closest you’ll be to me on this tour is NJ, which is…not close. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they’ll extend the tour.

    Colleen recently posted Monday Music Break: Godsmack.

  35. Austin, Dammit. You Freaking LIVE in Texas, and they can’t schedule you in Austin?

  36. So excited about you coming to St. Louis!!! But, a social night with drinks and mingling??? I am going to have a few panic attacks on your behalf and then you won’t have to. Can’t wait to meet you!

  37. You need to come to Omaha! KC on a Thursday night doesn’t work well for us Omahans. Come. We have the best zoo ever. I will be your personal escort. I mean, not an escort like that, but you know what I mean. So, like…May would be best. Go ahead and pencil that in, ok?

  38. What? Nothing in Austin, TX??? Maybe it just hasn’t been added to the tour yet. ::fingers crossed::

  39. KateB, I’ll be panic attacking too… Woo hoo for Bloggess and drinking!

  40. I’ll be camping out in front of Books & co for a week…..

  41. I second all the suggestions of Boston! How else can I bring you an ethically taxidermied Professor McGonagall as her animagus?

  42. YES OMAHA!!!!! it would be a perfect side trip to head west after Kansas City 🙂 Would l love to see you!

  43. Canada! Run for the border!

  44. Please come to Des Moines! I read your blog religiously and I looooved your book!

  45. I would like to second James on the you live in Texas and there are no Texas dates? I would prefer Houston but I’d drive to Austin if you were there on a Saturday…

  46. I’ve come up with a list of reasons why you really need to come to Tallahassee.
    1. We have a small, used bookstore that is really struggling and could use the publicity.
    2. We have a pizza company that will sell you a slice of pizza as big as your head or a whole pizza too big to fit in your car.
    3. We have a cookie company that will deliver warm cookies and cold milk to your hotel room until 3AM
    Sounds perfect. Come visit, please.

  47. I totally want you to go to Indianapolis. Not because I’m there, but I want to see Lindsay’s needlepointed kitten-with-a-brain.

    So I vote for an Indianapolis stop!

  48. Sorry, Lindsey, I mean. With an e. Go see her.

  49. I think Thursday night in Kansas City sounds perfect! Already have my tickets reserved . . .

  50. Welcome to Cincinnati! Looking forward to it!

  51. Minneapolis is only a hop, skip, and a jump away from Chicago! 🙂

    jesspants recently posted SNKR – moar owls!.

  52. Add book people in Austin please!

    I missed you last time!

  53. Ha! March 5 is my birthday and I live near Paramus! Yeah!

  54. YES! I am so glad you’re going to Rainy Day Books in Kansas City! I won’t be there since I’m currently in Chicago, but as a Kansas City native, I LOVE that store! It’s an adorable local book shop and I always shop there to support it!

    Katie @ Peace Love & Oats recently posted Workouts + The Secret Keeper.

  55. I can’t make the NYC upper west side Barnes and Nobles on March 6. Can you come to my aprtment building in Forest Hills, NY on March 5th? I can get my neighbors to come and reserve my apartment building’s party room/library (which incidently doesn’t yet have a copy of your book in hardcover- that’s OK. They don’t have a copy of my book, Executive Severance, either).
    There are soda and vending machines down the hall and the building is wheelchair accessible. In case of emergencies, the laundry room is nearby and we have a decent bike room.
    Let me know as soon as you can, because reservations for the space go fast!

    Robert K. Blechman recently posted The Fast, Funny Twitter Mystery Continues! This Week’s Amazing Tweets!.

  56. Another fan from Dayton, and it’s the day after my birthday, too! Awesome!

    The bookstore is very nice. btw. I’ve already put you on my calendar.

  57. Wait, I just noticed you’re in Paramus NJ on March 5, and then in Chicago on March 7. Than doesn’t give us much of a window, unless you want to show up the weekend before. No, that won’t work because my youngest has a thing. Looks like it HAS to be late morning or early afternoon on the 5th. I promise you’ll get to Paramus for the 7PM gig. Let me know.

    Robert K. Blechman recently posted The Fast, Funny Twitter Mystery Continues! This Week’s Amazing Tweets!.

  58. No one ever comes up to where I can see them! Please come to Maine, or at the very least Boston or Portsmouth NH. If you come to Maine I will bring you lobsters!

  59. What are the chances that you’re touring somewhere in July/August? We’re coming to visit from Australia and I’d love to go to a reading!

  60. See you in St. Louis! Just bought my tickets! I am so excited I can’t stop using exclamation points!!!!!

  61. You’re coming to see us in Louisville! I am soooo excited! Whilst I am awaiting your appearance, I will try to hunt down as many weird taxadermied items as I can…In Kentucky I’m pretty sure to find things that would render you speechless :O

  62. Your stop in San Jose is at the mall 5 minutes from my house. Hooray! I will see you on April 1st.

  63. Michigan! Come to Michigan! I mean, Wolverine! Please?

  64. I was really excited to see that you’re stopping in St. Louis. But I looked at tickets and it’s almost $30, which includes a paperback copy of your book. I already have the hardcover. I gave several copies out to friends for Christmas. I’m asked the bookseller and the ticket seller if there is a cheaper “no book” option. I mean, I loved the book, but I’m on a budget. I’m hoping that a no book option can be added to the St. Louis stop. After all, I can walk to this bookstore! [Which reminds me, want to come over for pre-party cocktails? Or is asking that creepy?]

  65. I will see you in Phoenix, goody! Now can you add Denver in there I let my sister in law borrow my copy of your book and she refuses to give it back tell you stop in Denver so that she can meet you. I could just buy a new book but I don’t want to.

  66. So I’m thinking to myself “I’ll bet she’s not coming anywhere near – OMG March 19 ~ Dayton, OH Books & Co., 7pm – that’s only about 5 miles from my house!!!!!” ***nerdgirlsquee!!!!!!! I am SO THERE.

  67. 67

    totally grounded in dallas for my last trimester but im sending out scouts to buy your book and get it signed for me. im VERY pregnant, they will do as i say or SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES. let us know if and when this gets extended back down south!!

  68. Yahooooo! You’re coming to STL! Cannot wait to see ya! (After you alluded to KC, I got my BF to agree that a road trip was necessary cuz I figured that would be as close to us as you’d get – but nope! See you March 8th!!)

  69. I hope that you make it near here again.. Gaithersburg book fair should have just been renamed for you.. the Jenny Lawson Bloggess Book Fair. yep. Not that Gaithersburg is *that close* to me.. but it sure beats trekking several states. Let’s admit it.. WV just doesn’t have anything. Or, if it does, it’s way way in another far off part of the state.

    meg recently posted Growing up should be optional.

  70. DAMN IT. Why does NO ONE come to Boise?! We aren’t loved.

  71. Cincinnati! Whoo!

  72. FYI – if you fly to Kansas City, you actually will be IN Kansas (because that’s where the airport moved to after many happy years in Missouri). Note that the Kansas City airport is, quite possibly, the most inconvenient airport to a city ever, so bring some reading material for the very very very long ride into town . . .

  73. Please please come up to Vancouver Bc at some point. Pretty pretty please?

  74. What have you got against the nation’s capitol…oh wait…never mind, we could be here all day.

  75. Where is the love for the Southeast? Huh? Please fix.

    Marianne recently posted Mardi Gras to All Y'all.

  76. Louisville! That is so close to me! I totally want to come see you.

  77. 77
    Carol Lee Youngblood

    Oh, please try to get close to Georgia! We have a lack of intelligent humor “’round these parts” 🙂

  78. 78
    Erin Mitchell

    I can’t beleive you will be in Louisville, 10 miles from my house! YAY!

  79. Good plan to have 10 day breaks. The bookstores and readings sound great, the airports etc. not so much.

  80. OMG, you’re going to be in NJ on my birthday! Of course, I’ll be in NYC then because I’m hitching along on my husband’s business trip (evidently being frightened by crowds is an awesome birthday present?). But that’s okay, because you’ll be THERE the very. next. day. It’s like the best sort of inadvertent stalking & it makes going to NYC more like an actual present and less like being bored while hiding in a hotel room, waiting for him to stop working.

    And I get to thank you in person for getting me writing again – I read my 15 year old your book & she said you write like I talk, which compelled me to start a new blog. Also, you have her writing hilarious footnotes on her English papers now. So her English teacher totally owes you one.

  81. You need to come to Ottawa and skate on the Rideau Canal with us!!! Canada loves you too!

  82. 82
    Shawna Biccum

    Did you keep the kitten?

  83. Please come to Canada! These stops aren’t even close enough for me to consider driving to the border. ‘Cause I totally would.

    Kylie recently posted Sunday Stealing: The Basically Obscure Meme.

  84. The Northwest is calling…

    thedavidcmurphy recently posted 0,-1,-2... Dammit.

  85. 85
    The unicorn tamer

    D: none of my favorite people ever make it up to Alaska..
    I mean.. I don’t blame you. It’s a frozen hell. But tourists seem to think its pretty and we have bears? I would love to meet you is what I am trying to say here.

  86. See you in Louisville! I don’t mind telling you that the fact that you will be in Louisville LITERALLY made my year. My entire fucking year. 🙂

    Katie recently posted Twittiots: How to Succeed in Twitter Without Really Trying.

  87. Jenny, if you ever come to New Orleans, I know I can talk Maple Street bookshop into letting you do a signing in their bathroom! It is lovely old bathroom with a claw foot tub, walls covered in peeling paint and young adult medieval lit posters, and a secret cabinet filled with “bathroom candy. ”

    There are three bars only a block away. The book staff shop could pass you cocktails through the bathroom window. Also, Plum Street snowballs is just blocks away, and you have not lived until you have one of their snowballs covered in nectar cream (or you could substitute Chambord for the syrup.)

    And the bookshelf itself

  88. Atlanta please!

    Becki Jolly recently posted Documentary Review: The Queen of Versailles (2012).

  89. A brain in a jar is a pretty cool thing to get on tour. I can’t wait to see what you get on your paperback tour.

    My Half Assed Life recently posted A What In Your What?.

  90. Oh goody! You are going to be right by my house. Wanna come over and have wine slushies afterwards? I promise not to kill you. Really, I’m not the killing kind. My cat can attest for that. I let her deal with any and all bugs that find their way in to the house.

  91. Pretty please won’t you come to Wisconsin? Our state abbreviation is totally logical!

  92. 92

    I can’t believe you’re not coming ANYWHERE NEAR the great state of COLORADO!! What a bummer. 🙁

  93. Dayton and Cincinnati? Ew.

    Whoever scheduled you messed up. You should be stopping in Columbus, the only worthwhile Ohio city to visit.

  94. woo hoo My SIster and I will see you in Cincinnati!!

    Holly recently posted Unreal Candy thank you Bzzagent!!.

  95. nooooooo come to Seattle!

  96. 96
    Amanda Wallace

    Louisville! I’m so excited – we almost always get bypassed in book tours. We’re literate, honest!

  97. Please please please come to Temecula, CA! PLEASE! On your last tour you went to San Diego, La Jolla to be exact, but I was still living in New Zealand. Now I’m in Temecula, and I would TOTALLY come see you! I’ll even try to find a funky taxidermied animal for you. 🙂 And bake cupcakes!

  98. Atlanta, please!

  99. Puleeeze come to Iowa City!

  100. Curse you, NYC for being big enough and close enough to me to attract everyone I’d want to see, but not close enough to feasibly make the trip (3 hours each way) – especially on a weekday. Don’t suppose there’s any chance of an Albany, NY pitstop?

    TechyDad recently posted Calling All Beta Testers.

  101. New Jersey & NYC!? Please come up to Connecticut!
    New Haven, Hartford…or better yet, ask your PR people to look into the spiffy Barnes&Noble in Glastonbury just a mile from Highway 91 — come here!

  102. Please come to Madison, WI!!!! (Milwaukee is fine, too) I’ll bring you deep-fried cheese curds!

  103. The lack of a Cleveland stop makes this fan sad.

  104. I really wish I could come, but I’m in bed full-time. So I REALLY appreciated when you did the youtube of a section of your book. Thank you! I’m also waiting for the audiobook I requested to arrive. Yipee!

    Sharon Wachsler recently posted Big Book of Bondage Blog Tour: Giselle Renarde.

  105. 105
    Elizabeth M.

    I am VERY VERY tempted.

    However, I must point out that Naperville is NOT Chicago. Not at all. It’s Naperville, which is a suburb of Chicago, but it is NOT Chicago.

    And I’m leaving for Florida the next day for Spring Training (baseball), so I’m torn. I love you, and I’ve seen you twice (I’m the one who wore the red dress to the Chicago Public Library when it was a billion degrees out), but eewwww the suburbs! :p

  106. Pooor Canada…:(

  107. Los Angeles!!!

  108. WOOHOO!! Looking forward to your New York visit!!

    Debby recently posted I’m [not] sorry for being able to drill a hole in your wall..

  109. Now I wish I still lived in Dayton . . .

  110. I wish you would come close to Pensacola, FL.

  111. Come to Albuquerque, NM!!! =D

  112. Are you kidding? I was in the MN crowd last time…there is NO CHANCE you’ll do this alone. You’ll be fabulous, and dammit I wish you were coming back to the (currently disgustingly cold) mosquito state.

    Jess recently posted I don't have a problem....

  113. NAPERVILLE! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS! So close to me. The only thing better would have been if it were blocks away in Downers Grove. WHEEEEEEEEEE!

    Quirky Chrissy recently posted Monday Memories: I Injure Myself More Than Anyone I Know.

  114. You’re coming to Chicago two days before I arrive and my hometown of Louisville the day after I leave. Which means you should come to Milwaukee right between those dates. Pretty please?

    Hannah recently posted The Origami Surprise, Or What I Learned in 2013.

  115. You can find me in St. Louie…
    Whoooooo hoooooo! Now to tell the husband where I will be March 8.

  116. SO wish Atlanta was on a stop for you! I’ll bring you a dead kitten. Would be so much quieter…ok-I am NOT that head injured LOL

    Mary Anne F51 recently posted Hot Flash Friday–In Defense of Comfortable Shoes….

  117. NO stops in Charlotte NC??? Have you lost your mind woman??? oh wait… that is a loaded question… never mind! 🙂

  118. Nooo!!! You’re finally coming to Cincinnati, and I have class that night until 9!!! I don’t suppose you’d be willing to stick around at Joseph Beth until 9:30 or 10, would you?

  119. I think you should add in some places like Hawaii or Tahiti…milk this touring gig.

    Brook recently posted Just Keep Paddling!.

  120. Holy crap.

    I am in college in Lexington KY. You are going to be in Louisville. I might be able to bribe someone to give me a ride. I need to go plot and get in touch with some friends now.

  121. Drat! Nothing near Dallas this time . . . if I send you my copy, would you sign it?

  122. Can I squish into your suitcase for your trip to NJ? I so miss my family and friends up there.

    Also, where is the Austin date? Pretty please? It’s almost local! 😀

  123. Charlotte, NC loves you. Come here!!!

  124. YAY Anderson’s Bookshop in NAPERVILLE (ok it’s close to Chicago) – March 7 here i come!

  125. We can’t wait to welcome you to Louisville.

  126. No Minnesota?!!

  127. I second the suggestion for Charlottesville, Virginia! That would be very near where I live and I could guarantee at least three other attendees with me! 😀

  128. 128
    Tiffany Lashay English

    Come to Orlando!!!!

  129. 129
    Jessica Stevens

    Are you EVER coming to Florida??

  130. Two stops in Ohio and zero in Indiana…..Ohio is so not worthy.

    wonkafonka recently posted Woot! Spontaneous pie!.

  131. I understand not wanting to go to LA but how about Ventura or Santa Barbara?

  132. Your not coming to Neil Patrick Harris? We were so excited about the name change (Maryland is just so boring) and you aren’t coming through! I’m sure you would have gotten at least two kittens and possibly a puppy (or goat). Always next time 🙂

  133. AHEM – I don’t see anything anywhere near DC. Any chance we can add something in there? Pretty please?

  134. …no love for your fans in Oklahoma? I swear if you’re flying from KC to Texas you’ll have to stop here in Oklahoma City anyway. We need you. Pretty please?

    goingloopy recently posted Bee-p Bee-p Bee-p Bee-p YEAH (Also, FMM).

  135. Come to Boston! We’ve got beeya heeya!

  136. Atlanta?

  137. i almost pee’d i was so excited!!!!!
    see you in san jose.

    and just because your going to the mall that’s in the “ghetto” part of town. i promise you won’t get jumped. <3

  138. 138
    Jennifer Smith Walker

    Aw, man… Don’t you want to experience the magic and wonder that is Arkansas? Ever?

  139. Yippee! I’ll meet you in St. Louis!

  140. Yay for Andersen in Naperville. 🙂

    Can’t wait to meet you in person, since I was traveling when you last hit Chi-town. 🙂

  141. Why not Wisconsin? Why does nobody ever come to Wisconsin? 🙁

  142. Michigan…how can you NOT be coming to Michigan? 😛

    Rachel H recently posted Keeping Game-Day Healthy With NatureBox.

  143. Omgomg no way! You’re actually coming to Kansas City! Yay yay yay! I’ll even skip rock climbing to attend! Woowoowoot!

  144. Who’s stoked? I’m stoked!

    Not one, not two, but THREE opportunities to hang out with you. I know you scheduled it that way on purpose 😉 Too bad I’m not also a noteworthy because then you might consider meeting up for coffee.

    MILF Runner recently posted Mailbag Monday #5.

  145. YAY OHIO! I’ve never driven to Dayton, but now I will! SO EXCITED.

    Jordan recently posted SOTD - 01.24.13.

  146. Will you be adding anymore stops? Louisville is only 200 miles away, but I’ll be 7 months pregnant and the husband won’t let me come see you. 🙁 So sad. Maybe I can get a friend to get me a signed copy of the paperback.

    keaven neely recently posted Valley.

  147. I thought you said you were coming to Tater-Tot!

  148. I am sad you are not coming back to Denver. 🙁 I had an emergency last time involving werewolves and could not attend.

  149. 149
    Debby Phillips

    Hopefully you will come to Utah in the future… I look forward to the opportunity to have the in-person ‘Jenny Lawson Experience’. 😉

  150. pretty please, come to colorado springs. there is a fun book store called poor richards and they serve yummy snacks at their coffee shop next door. you would be pleased.

    kimberlee ann recently posted meet my new friend. complete with bulbs & new film. ready to....

  151. So happy for the people who get to see you this time around! It is a not to be missed experience!

    Kara recently posted OWH Sketch Challenge 158.

  152. 152
    Deb Reese Hall

    So excited- I live a mile from your Louisville stop. Can’t wait to hear you in person! Your ” can’t un-see it” post had me snorting beer through my nose yesterday.
    PS. Email me if you want food recommendations- I’ve got them down. 😉 Deb

  153. Whoa…near me on April Fool’s…too good to be true.

    Melissa recently posted So this is why I get weird looks at the grocery store.

  154. No Oregon stops this time? Didn’t Powell’s treat you nicely? I want a chance to meet you this time! <3

  155. I would love to get a reading in a Walmart parking lot or something but you keep coming to my home town when I’m OUT of town. I’m starting to get a complex.

  156. 156
    Jenn Williams

    Atlanta, pleeeeeease?! 🙂

  157. Seattle/Tacoma area?? Pretty please!! I will personally guarantee no rain if you visit. That’s not actually true. Sadly I have no control over the weather, but I’ll bring you an umbrella. Whadya say?

    Shannon recently posted It’s Not All Puppy Dogs and Roses.

  158. what? why on earth are you not coming to arlington/washington d.c.? does that mean i have to send my metal rooster with a self addressed postage paid box in order to get you to sign it?

  159. No L.A.? *Sigh*, not that I blame you.

    Natalie the Singingfool recently posted Thank Goodness I Don’t Look Like Keith Richards Yet.

  160. I’d love it if you came to Wisconsin – Madison, Milwaukee, doesn’t matter!

  161. Come on down to South Kakalaki! We have a few Beyonce’s down here that would love to have you visit!

    Liz recently posted Burps, Farts & Boogers.

  162. please, please, please come to Boston (that might be a song?)…or MA in general or anywhere up here in the great Northeast. We have fun little rodents…

  163. I promise to stop stealing your books and ripping the cover off them before selling them – but ONLY if you promise to visit Raleigh, NC. when I’m here.

  164. NYC is great, but there’s the other 90% of NY that is often forgotten about. Syracuse or Albany would be great for a future tour. Sorry I’ll miss you 🙁 (but congrats on the 2nd tour- how awesome is that??)

  165. Which Books, Inc. in SF? There are like four of them!

    i’m amused that you’re in SF on a day when i work from home in San Jose, and then in San Jose on a day i’m working from my office in San Francisco. Doh! Working on swapping my schedule now 🙂

  166. You’re coming to St. Louis! I have tickets purchased already! Yay! I’m so excited! <3

  167. Dayton, Ohio! I am in there like swimwear! Holy heck! I’m pretty freaking excited!

    Teresa recently posted I look dangerously good in a sweatband..

  168. Oh PLEASE Vancouver, Canada. Pretty please! I want you to sign my baby! And maybe my dog if I can sneak him in.

  169. Please come to Louisiana!!!!!!

  170. They put you in the Eastridge B&N in San Jose? Not the Almaden or Steven’s Creek ones. Oh dear.

    Kevin Marks recently posted The Antifragility of the Web.

  171. I wish you’d come to Portland, Maine! But I also wish you would scrap this tour altogether if it adds lots of stress to your life again…

  172. Dallas dammit get here already

    Hope you have a safe tour even if you dont come to Dallas though 🙂

  173. Hmm, Lexington is only 3-ish hours away from Clarksville, TN. Is it worth it? Totally worth trading body parts if necessary!! Now to convince the husband…… maybe I’ll poison something in the fridge. 😉

  174. We won the Super Bowl… therefore you MUST come to Baltimore!!!

  175. Any chance of going to the DC area? You came to Gaithersburg, MD last time but I was out of town and missed you. Would love to see you in person and try not to add stress to you.

  176. 176
    Benjamin Venable

    We’d love to have you in Portland, Oregon again – I’m sure we’d be able to pack the house for you again! 🙂

  177. no Cleveland? 2nd coolest city ever! if you wanna be cool you have to come to cleveland. peer pressure!!!

  178. PLEASE come to CT!!!! (and by CT I mean Hartford area).

    If only I still lived in/worked in NJ/NYC. I could have seen you on March 5 and 6!!!

  179. Portland Oregon!
    Pretty please!

  180. Damn! I moved away from KC and *then* you have a tour stop scheduled there? Any chance for a Fayetteville, AR stop on the next leg? Or Tulsa, OK? Maybe Little Rock, AR? So many “boyfriend brownie points” on the line here…

    Wayne recently posted 2012: A year in review.

  181. I really wish you were coming closer to me! I’m in VA and can’t travel as far as NJ or NY. But I will keep my fingers crossed for the next time. Maybe more of your stops will include the east coast.

  182. WTF. No Houston stop??? I’m sad. I’ll bring you a basket of kittens… and cookies.

  183. I cannot wait for you to come to KC!!! Already have it on my calendar!! You are the BEST!

  184. Yay! Can’t wait to see you in Cincy! I feel the need to seek out something awesome and dead for you… Yes, that sounds totally normal.

  185. Try to add Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Lots of fans here 🙂

  186. Brain and cat and Costco lots.
    You DO lead a glamorous life. I’M SO JEALOUS!
    I remember the line from Pheobe on Friends, “He was so unappriated in his own time,……I’d give ANYTHING to be unappreciated in my own time!”
    You’ll be in Danville! My old stomping grounds. If I can swindle a trip up there, I’d love to meet you, but only if I can pet the brain and stare in horror at the cat.

    The Cheeky Daddy

    Jason recently posted Super Bowl XLVII.

  187. Alright I’ve got this planned out!! Come to Acton Mass, Terri posted she’ll buy the drinks. I bet we can get LindseyM to bring lobsters and I’ll bring maple syrup. Not sure if that make a good night, or one that would need bail money, which makes it a Killer Night! Either way sounds like an awesome foursome.

    terri February 4, 2013 at 8:15 am
    boston, please! if not boston how about acton, mass? there’s a great indie bookstore there and an awesomely divey chinese restaurant down the road that serves killer mai tais…you show up, i’ll buy the drinks!

    LindseyM February 4, 2013 at 9:37 am
    No one ever comes up to where I can see them! Please come to Maine, or at the very least Boston or Portsmouth NH. If you come to Maine I will bring you lobsters

  188. No TX dates? Don’t leave out your home state!

  189. 189
    Xtina Hoopstress

    You forgot to put San Diego

  190. Come to Minneapolis!!

  191. Please come to Southern California in April!!!

  192. This is totally unrelated to this post, but I needed somewhere to share this.

    I found your blog via Beyonce the chicken and of course had to read back through the archives because, well, that’s what I do. For the past week, I’ve uttered “Motherfucker” more times than in my entire life previously. And, I’ve thought it twice as often as that. It is kind of like the time I played Grand Theft Auto for about an hour then had to drive somewhere. Suddenly, I felt drawn to run people over or hop out and beat up hookers. Well, except saying and thinking “Motherfucker” probably won’t land me in jail. Hopefully. So, thank you for not leading me to a life of dead hookers and prison shakedowns. I owe you…

  193. GAWH! Seattle? Please?

  194. Please, oh please come back to Miami. I missed your last tour.

  195. COME BACK TO SEATTLE PLEASE! I missed you last time and it made me terribly sad 🙁

  196. 196
    Tiffany Hickok

    I never comment here because I’m totally not nearly as funny as the other people that comment here… but O.M.G! Danville, CA is so insanely close to me that I’m totally coming to see you. I don’t have a brain in a jar, but I’ll try to come up with something clever for you to blog about that you’ll still be talking and thinking about the next time you tour, but this is AMAZEBALLS!

  197. Awww, when do you come to Canada? We like to laugh here too (sometimes)…

    Astra recently posted Domestic Labour Unrest ….

  198. So I see this and immediately call my bookstore for details and they know nothing. NOTHING. Unacceptable. I’ve left a message and wait their call. Or I will call again tomorrow. And the next day. Can’t wait to see you.

    But if the bookstore doesn’t work out, I’m game for the Costco parking lot!

  199. You should add a stop in Seattle, because some how I missed you last time! 🙂

  200. really i’m going to start crying… i couldn’t go see you during the 1st tour because i was on bed rest during my pregnancy and this time i can’t because my husband will be out of town working for 6 weeks so no sitter and no vacation time for him!!! you should come to my house for dinner in Milwaukee… but my house will be packed mostly so it may be take away.

  201. Uh, not Seattle?

  202. Woot! I will see you in danville!

  203. I’m so excited I’ll finally be able to go to your book tour! It will be a great way to celebrate my birthday!

    An extra chapter? Yes, please. To hear the author talking about her book? Yes, I want that. All of that on my birthday? Of course I want that. What did you say? I can have drinks with that? Yes!!!

    Don’t mind me, just doing a happy dance over here.

    Carol recently posted Life is about the little things that make us happy, right?.

  204. Why not closer to home? Houston? Pretty please?

  205. Why no Michigan!? *sniffle*

  206. What about NE Ohio?!?! (after winter of course…)

  207. A reading in a parking lot is the height of chic, a bookstore comes in second. Come to Montreal!

    Burns the Fire recently posted Puppy Love 4: C’est La Vie.

  208. An April Fool’s day reading here – fantastic!

  209. Count a bunch of us in at Books&Co, Dayton, OH! Can’t wait!

  210. For real??? When I lived in central Ohio, you were all over the places NOT in Ohio. Now that I live in central New York, you’re coming to Dayton AND Cincy??? Not cool. Not cool at all.

    But I still love you. Let’s have that second book, please!

  211. Please come to the south! And by the south I don’t mean Atlanta or Miami. Somewhere in the middle would be nice! Would love to be able to go to one of your readings!

  212. Please come visit us in Canada… we have donuts… and… twine… and… Ryan Goslings birthplace… Nuff said I know.

  213. Hey, is there any chance that you can add a Seattle, WA date to that tour?!?! I would LOVE to see you!

  214. Yay!!! You’re coming to KC! Can’t wait to meet you in person. 🙂

  215. Keeping my fingers crossed that you’ll add Houston — last time you came I was unemployed and couldn’t afford a book.

    Nara recently posted Sometimes my thought process is surprisingly clear..

  216. I’d beg you to come to New Orleans but that needlepoint kitten holding a brain in Indianapolis sounds like a winner to me!! (see comment #5)

  217. Please come to Raleigh! There are so many loving weirdos around here that just adore you!!!



  219. Please come do a reading at The Last Bookstore in Los Angeles : ) It’s a fantastic space and then I can go to the reading.

  220. Jarred brain is a little known zombie repellent. They can only be near fresh brains.

    Travel safe kiddo.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted A good way to bring a smile to almost everybody.

  221. THANK YOU! Finally in St. Louis! Tickets bought! *super happy dance*

    Draeconeia recently posted December?.

  222. I don’t see “Wolverines” on the list! You’ve got to come to the Detroit suburbs, or at least Ann Arbor. I promise to come see you! Plus, you need to visit the newly named state. Maybe then Rick Snyder will no longer be Governor. That would be epic!

  223. I don’t see Houston on here any where.

    GeekGoddess recently posted Hanging with My Homies.

  224. 224
    Christine Marting

    BEST. BOOK. EVER! I just finished reading your book while I was on vacation.. most of the people around me including my husbad just looked at me like I was nuts because I was laughing so hard out loud!

  225. DENVER!!! You forgot Denver, damnit! I’m gonna go pout now.

  226. Yay! You’re coming back to Chicago, and this time I’ll be here to see you! I plan to bring all of my Jenny-loving friends with me too.

  227. REALLY?! Dayton and Cincinnati, instead of Cleveland? Arrggghh. I want to come but 4 hours is too far to drive after dark. Boo, hiss.

  228. Come to Utah! You may get arrested, but it could go in the second book!

  229. Santa Fe, NM!!! Please?? Collected Works bookstore..

  230. Pittsburgh isn’t too far from Dayton and Cincinnati! Please, oh please!

  231. No Boise, Bummer!

  232. I see several comments in favor of a stop in RALEIGH NORTH CAROLINA. I can vouch for our vibrant and active community of hippie/yoga/firedancer/weirdo types who would love to see you. I have contacts to share about venues and events you could join, or I would be happy to facilitate a more cozy reading/signing event of your very own.

  233. OMG…. so happy you’re coming to Jersey!!!
    You’ll love it in the weird State 🙂

  234. Come to Lancaster PA! We have Amish…and stuff. 🙂

  235. PLEASE add Boston, MA to your tour! It would be amazing to have you!

  236. I want to come see you… and possible poke you with my pinky (because it’s awkward, not because I want to hurt you… to be clear) BUT, you have managed to evade the entire STATE I live in. I feel I should take this personally.
    It’s because I wanted to poke you with my pinky isn’t it? Damn.
    Sorry everyone in Florida, my fault!

  237. Kentucky??? That’s AMAZING! Except I live 2 hours away and would never make it in time. I honestly want to cry right now. 🙁

    Melanie recently posted Weekend Update.

  238. Pleeeeeeeeez come to PA! Hershey?

  239. 239
    Colleen Mullaney

    Anywhere near Mass?

  240. Minneapolis, MN please? I do the hour to hour and a half trip there…but I can’t afford a trip anywhere farther because I’ve got another trip planned already for May… Please, please, please?

  241. No one ever comes to Pittsburgh. Then, as of the time I started to write this, it doesn’t look like anyone else has mentioned it either. Perhaps there is a bit of a demand and supply issue…. Some yinzers read, though. Really.

  242. I would totally come to see you, except I live in Canada and have no way of traveling.


  243. 243
    Michelle N.

    I’m just glad there are some bookstores still left for you to tour…

  244. Oh man, I was really hoping Portland would be back on the list! I missed you the last time you were here!

  245. Yay! Louisville! See you there!

  246. 246
    Michelle N.

    …..argh, I just reread what I wrote and what I meant was that I’m glad there are some bookstores left in general as they are few and far between these days. (not that you have toured a lot of bookstores and i’m glad there are some that you haven’t toured yet. or something like that. I’ll just shut up now.)

    please come to Pittsburgh. thanks.

  247. love that NJ is first…see ya there!

  248. I’ll come see you when you come to Australia 😛

  249. Oh my….I think it’s possible that you don’t understand that Los Angeles is the center of the universe…all things revolve around us. When I saw that there was no L.A. stop it occurred to me that someone forgot to tell you this. And now you know….please handle accordingly

  250. Eeeeek! They have you set up at the East side of San Jose!?!? . There’s a great B&N at the Westgate Shopping Center too. (West San Jose)
    I”ll try to make the drive (and get a sitter for the heathens)

  251. Considering your popularity with the Germans, I wish you’d come over here. I’d even visit the Dead German Store at least ten times before you arrived to be sure I came armed with lots and lots of gifts. Actually, I’d want to take you to the Dead German Store. To make you less nervous about going with a stranger, I’d come prepped with a wine slushy to go. And a Fasching mask for you to wear, so you’d fit in and could also hide if you felt like it. Please come to Germany. I’m sick of being the only belligerent, charmingly crazy American.

    Heather Hopkins recently posted Thoughts on Faith: Mine and the books.

  252. There are so many Dayton fans here! I was so excited to see it on the list, everyone always has their events in Cincinnati or Cleveland! YAYAYAYAYAY!

  253. Any talks about Canada again? – such as Calgary or Edmonton? (I would suggest a spring or summer timeframe the weather is much more agreeable then) 😉

  254. Two in Ohio and not even one in Wisconsin? Who do I have to contact to get you here?

    BiPagan recently posted Booklist 2012, 35 "books" this year.

  255. You *NEED* to come to the DC/Baltimore area!

  256. You know what I love as a female writer? That you have so many male followers/fans commenting here. Love to see the mixin’ of the coeds.

    Kathy Lynn Harris recently posted Update on My Crack Addition (Dr Pepper).

  257. If I saw you last time you were in NYC can I go again?!?!?!?
    Again! Again! Again!

    GurlNxtDoor recently posted Memory Lane Monday: The Saga of the Couch That Refused to Leave Part Deux.

  258. If you can’t get to her, but want to see/hear one of her talks, then go here:

  259. Please, please, come to Portland Oregon again. I had to miss you for a stupid family vacation!
    I wont miss you again, promise.

  260. *sigh* No one ever comes down to Alabama. Not that I can really blame them…. We have a Costco, just so ya know.

    Ms Burrows recently posted Chickies Part II.

  261. It’s a 3 day drive to CA from Vancouver. If you could make it up to Seattle I could make the trip across the border. Just not in July or Aug please.

    (will the iPad book be updated/available with the new chapter?)

  262. 262
    Melissa Zack

    Why don’t any of my favorite authors ever come to Las Vegas?!?! Come on!!!!

  263. Please oh please come to Albuquerque! Not Santa Fe, they’re too snobby up there…and they don’t have a major bookstore either! We have 2 B&N’s here!



    NJCHICK in SoCal recently posted Pizza Dough FLIPPED Mini Cupcake Pizzas.

  265. Super excited!! There will be no crickets chirping in S.F. or Danville – promise!

  266. Please come to Minneapolis!

  267. what about Canada? </3

  268. You’re dead to me, unless you come to Portland, and sign a book other than “Stiff,” by Mary Roach.

    That is all.

    Julia recently posted Applying Myself.

  269. 269
    Amy Bannister

    Anderson’s Bookstore is the place where I met Douglas Adams. When I leaned across the table to get a picture with him, he hauled me around the table, plopped me into his lap and said cheekily, “Come here and tell Father Christmas what you would like this year.”

  270. CANADA! I promise you’ll fit in. And be welcomed with open arms. I can’t promise there won’t be moose or cougars. But let’s be real, you probably wouldn’t show up without at least a chance of seeing a moose or cougar. I repeat. CANADA!!

  271. I might go to Dayton, OH! Its only 40 mins away! Or possibly Louisville the weather’s nice. Can’t wait!

    xo Ashley

    Ashley recently posted Inspiration: Something Sexy.

  272. Hey Downers Grove (Andersons Bookstore) is where I grew up. I hit that bookstore every allowance day to buy books. Hope to see you read again! Let me know if you have time for me to buy you finner or drinks!

  273. 273
    Ellie Bryant

    OMG and Lord-love-a-duck…you are coming to Ohio!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am slightly overcome and bit panicked at the idea of all the people that will be in line. I’ll take a Xanax and meet you there. 😀 Can I bring my stuffed monkey, Karl?

  274. Ditto on wanting the Houston stop!! I don’t have a stuffed hamster or a brain in a jar, but I most certainly can bribe you with a petrified sock.

    Lori recently posted Entirely Too Fast.

  275. 275
    Kristi Buchholz

    Danville, CA, here I come! I listened to your audiobook while in the car with my family. I had to totally leave my children in the dark as to why I was always busting out laughing!
    Can’t wait!!!

  276. Hooray! See you in San Jose.

    Lady M recently posted Here and There.

  277. Hello? Where is Atlanta?

  278. So excited for your tour!! Is there any way you will add a Canadian date?? I would love to see you speak again!!! You are too fabulous for words!!

  279. 279
    Karen Johnson

    You need to come to Providence, RI!!

  280. Can you please come back to Texas again?

  281. We would love to see you in Raleigh, NC!

  282. Yay Louisville! I’m so there!

  283. Seattle needs you! Except please come to somewhere that isn’t Costco because I haven’t got a membership and they’d probably extort one from me if I tried to sneak in to see you… Although it might be worth it… Or I could hang out in the parking lot, because that isn’t creepy at all. Sigh.

    Adrasteia recently posted Organic French Curve.

  284. When are you coming to Canada??

  285. Have a great trip!

    Punky Coletta recently posted I Can See Her Vagina From the Kitchen Window.

  286. Pittsburgh, please? I bought 4 copies of your book for friends and we will all be there! All 4 of us…with wine slushies.

  287. 287
    CraZyCat Lady

    WHOOO-HOOO Jenny’scoming!Jenny’scoming!

    If you need/want a like minded mental misfit to pal around with or “help” with pointing and laughing at the normals as a distraction while in Cincinnati—I’m your girl. We could even manage to get arrested if you wanted …or not. (I also know where the best bakeries and ice creams in town are. Even Oprah gets ice cream from Cincinnati.)

  288. 288
    Leah Summers

    You should be coming to Alaska. Why are there no book tours in Alaska?! THE FROZEN TUNDRA AND -70 IS AWESOME!

    By the way, love your posts. All of them. All the time.

  289. Ohio reader here, going on 2 or 3 years reading your blog. Very excited that you’ve chosen to stop here!

  290. Los Angeles? A suburb of Los Angeles because technically I live 30 miles east of there. 🙂

  291. Two dates in Ohio? Like we Michiganders… er, Wolverines didn’t already hate those stupid Buckeyes.
    Ah well, I appreciate the fact that you are even coming within driving distance of me.

  292. I couldn’t make it last time you were in NJ, but I’m totally going this time!! Can’t wait!!!

  293. 293
    The Other Jamie

    The ONLY reason I’m not doing a major pout right now is because you came to Gaithersburg MD last summer and I should probably be happy to share you with other people instead of being all selfish-y. But please don’t push it.

  294. HURRAY for Paramus! I don’t have to schlep to the city to see you!!! (not that you’re not worthy of a schlep)

  295. Bummer, I see you are not coming to Montana – I’m certain there are plenty of stuffed dead things here you would love!

  296. Why do all the cool people skip Tucson and just go to Phoenix? It makes me very sad. ='(

  297. No Denver/Boulder? I’ll bet The Tattered Cover or Boulder Bookstore would love to host you.

  298. Love you! Got my book club to read your book. Any chance you’ll be coming to CT?

  299. I am so disappointed that nowhere on that list is Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.

  300. Hope you come back to MD!

    Corey Feldman recently posted In which I was almost brought to tears driving to work.

  301. What about Wilkes-Barre, PA?

  302. South Texas!!

  303. I may have to road trip to Ohio from Western NY. I have to see your crazy up close and personal. And if you happen to get uncomfortable and shout out your credit card number I’ll have my pad and pen ready. VAGINA!

    Sara recently posted Shining Moments.

  304. 304
    Lady Penelope

    *Seriously* what’s wrong with Australia?
    Do you not love us? *sniff*

    If you fail to come here on tour, we will have no option but to see it as an act of war and we will be deeply hurt.
    Do you want to be responsible for an entire country on suicide watch? Hmmm? Do you?

  305. No love for the Mitten, Jenny? 🙁

  306. Will you come to North Carolina?

  307. Please come to Philadelphia (or somewhere close by). It would be really awesome to hear you speak!

  308. No love for Canada? We’re way more fun than Dayton, OH (no offense to the lovely folks of dayton. You have really clean streets). Please come to Toronto. You won’t be disappointed!

  309. NOOOOOOOO!!! My fiance and I are moving to Austin, TX in March, but I’ve lived 30min south of San Francisco MY ENTIRE LIFE and half a month after we move away YOU’LL BE IN SF. AHHHHHHHHH!!! *explodes*
    PleasecometoAustinatsomepointinthefuture. PLEAAAAASSE it’s not even that far for you! XD

    Someday I hope I’ll get to meet you! I have a signed copy of your book! Cuz my fiance emailed you and asked for one, and you sent him a sticker with your signature to put in a book, and he got me your book and I WAS SO HAPPY Imighthavecried. It was a REALLY awesome gift.
    Why can’t the extra bonus chapter be added to the hard cover book? I might have to get your paperback book, cut out the extra chapter, and tape it to the back of my hard cover book. *w*

  310. OMG! OMG! You are coming to Cincy!! I can’t wait!!!! Yippee!!!

  311. Yippee!! I’ll see you in Cinci!!

  312. My heart tells me you should come to Little Rock sometime…

  313. I was soo excited to see that you plan to go on tour on march, since I’m going to be on a business trip to the states on march. Too bad that I’ll be in Houston all the time…

  314. Skip Boston. Come to NH, preferably Manchester. If you come to Manchester, I can introduce you to the squirrels who live in my backyard – they might sit in your lap and give you nose kisses and eat peanuts from your hand. I can also introduce you to my 12 year old who can amuse you with Big Bang Theory and Doctor Who quotes.

  315. Come to Boston, PLEASE!! Or you can go to Manchester, NH, like Liz says. I can go there. All the other places on your tour are so far away!!

    Mary, QoE recently posted Spring buds. . . ..

  316. Minnesota?!?! PLEASE!!! I am in a state of panic because the dates you are closest to me I can not attend and the only date that really works is in phoneix and I don’t think driving 26 hours will work with my poor car 🙁 (maybe I can hitch hike…. hmmm)I would give you a (stuffed) bear head and some moose antlers!( not attached to a living animal either! What a deal!!!)

  317. 317
    Kris Hammill

    If you come back to Neil-Patrick-Harris, I will happily come see you again! Loved your first visit!

  318. I would go but not one of those places are even in my state. I’m actually going to one of those states on vacation, but that won’t be until two days after you’ve been there. This timing is not working out at all.

    Rachel recently posted Here Are Pictures, Enjoy.

  319. Come to Michigan please!!!!

  320. Again the rally call to come to Canada. Pretty please? Eh?

    Travel Wired recently posted Why Use a VPN When You Travel?.

  321. Hi. There is a little sh*thole in Alabama called Birmingham. We have kudzu jelly! Or Atlanta. That is a real place with a real population! Just suggestions for your next tour. I’ll bring you a casserole.

  322. “The Tour So Far”…. This sounds suspiciously like you are expecting more readings! I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you can make it somewhere close to me in the South (like NC or VA?)
    PS. I’m a cat so crossing my fingers is pretty tricky.

  323. Come to Seattle – it is a beautiful city and we appreciate crazy!

  324. I’ve yet to see CT come up on any tour list. You don’t like us? lol

  325. I am so stoked that you’re coming to Louisville!

  326. Come to the Barnes and Noble at Mayfair in Wauwatosa, WI I work there and we would love love love to have you!!!

  327. I don’t see Canada on that list and so I refuse to aknowledge the fact that this tour is even happening. In which case I don’t know what I’m commenting on here because without a tour announcement, there’s nothing to say. Except that every time I see “CA” I hope it’s short for CANADA and then it isn’t and god dammit that sucks.

    Annadanna (from Canada) recently posted Turns out I'm a creepy hoarder.

  328. Don’t you really want to come to New Orleans?

  329. I will see you in Dayton! Squee!

  330. Still no stops in Minneapolis?! Or anywhere in MN? Chicago is too far to drive as a (recently) single mom of a 4-year-old.

  331. YAY! You’re finally coming to the Midwest’s armpit… aka St. Louis. I’mma do my bestist to be there!!!!!

    Ang recently posted Celebrate Fitness Giveaway!.

  332. 332
    Leslie Mueller

    so sad you are not coming to MN – I know it is really cold and snowing here but come on – the winter people need humor too!

  333. any chance you could make it to brooklyn? there’s a barnes and nobles, and also a couple of indie bookshops, especially court street book store which has housed many an amazing sessions

    onsanity recently posted why I blog.

  334. Thanks for adding louisville! Its like youre giving me an early birthday gift!

  335. Please come to metro Detroit!

  336. Actually, Kansas City’s airport is still in Missouri. Really, it is. But Rainy Day Books is in Kansas. Fairly near where I live, in fact.

  337. You’re coming to St. Louis!!!!!

  338. Come back to Toronto!! I’m not in Korea anymore!!

  339. Oh yeah, I’m thinking I’ll come stalk (I mean meet) you in Danville!!! I better hurry and perfect those unicorn stuffed cookies.

    Gina recently posted Peanut Butter and Jelly Blondie Bites.

  340. I got my tickets for Chicago. I can promise you at least 4 people will be there!

  341. Woot – Cincy March 20 – the bookstore is right next door to Longhorn Steakhouse. And the first day of spring – booking that day as vacation for sure!

  342. Please come to Philadelphia or its suburbs. Please!

  343. Come back to Portland, OR!!! My friend Abby wasn’t able to make it last time, and although I brought her book for you to sign, I know she’d love to see you in person. Pretty pretty pretty please!

    Tiffany recently posted Planning Ahead.

  344. The Atlanta area is missing from the list… Newnan, Ga, if you want to get specific.

  345. I would totally host a reading in Beacon Hill Costco parking lot, Calgary Alberta Canada. In fact, I’ll buy you a hot dog and soda…I’m just that thoughtful!

  346. Wow, I might actually be able to make it to one this time!

    Shella recently posted I'm From Texas; Here's Your Casserole.

  347. No Wisconsin?! *pouts* You wouldn’t like it here anyway. Too cold.

  348. Please take care of yourself and don’t let this tour wear you out! Seeing you in person is great but we also need our daily Jenny fixes and you need your health. 🙂

  349. so excited to see san jose on the schedule!
    we’ll keep a nice safe bathroom stall ready for you.!!

    janeen recently posted Love is the Key.

  350. 350

    No one ever comes to Providence, RI. 🙁

  351. 351

    Any chance you will make it to San Diego? Would love to see you.

  352. SAN JOSE, CA?! YES!

  353. come to tampa

  354. Will miss you when you’re gone…:(

    Miss Gee recently posted This Is Sheer Awesomeness!.

  355. I really think you should skip Phoenix and head south to Tucson. It’s like the Austin of Arizona. Much cooler, both figuratively and literally. Plus then I might have a chance to see you!

  356. Ahhhhhhhhhh! San Jose, San Francisco, Danville! I am determined to make one of those!

    Love you, Jenny


  357. Your publicist has a wicked sense of humor! Seriously, San Francisco on April Fools Day? Or is it all a big April fool joke plot? I show up – no one’s there – psyche, sorry Jenny’s really not showing up today. Ok, so maybe I’m just being paranoid. Well, either way – I look forward to seeing you or having an awesome prank pulled on me. Safe Travels to you on your tour.

  358. Please come to Hawaii. Oahu, to be exact. I promise to come see you…even if it means playing hooky from work!

  359. I caan hardly contain my excitement that you are coming to St. Louis! Ticket is purchased, hubs is on notice…March 8th here we come! Please travel safely, and see you soon!

  360. 360
    Lady Macbeth

    I’m in Lexington. Which should I choose – Cincinnati or Louisville? I’m surprised I even have a choice!

  361. A Canada tour too please.

  362. 362
    Ashley Givan

    That’s weird…I don’t see Soroti, Uganda on the list.

  363. A WooHoo! I’ll see you in St. Louis!! ps-if you have time you REALLY need to go to the City Museum – home of the 10 story slide. that’s right – its 10 stories long!!

    Laura Ehlers recently posted Yup, I made that bad boy.....

  364. Yay! We’ll see you in NJ! I have the hard cover & the audio book, but need to read the extra content!

    Theresa recently posted Super Dog Sunday™ Is Almost Here!.

  365. 365
    Lindsay Barker

    I haz a sad…… No Virginia again. Charlottesville would love you, I promise, and it’s a nice town, really. UVa is wound a bit tight, but it’s still a great town. Or Roanoke. Roanoke is pretty cool.

  366. What? No Los Angeles?? Please????

  367. I am so Excited! I’ve assembled my posse to meet you in Chicago.

  368. Please come to the Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill area

  369. I cannot tell you how freaking excited I am that you are coming to Kansas City!!! I know you were upset because it wasn’t KANSAS, but really, you can totally see Kansas from where you’ll be. It’s practically the same thing…only way better 🙂 We can’t wait to welcome you to our wonderful city and show you that Missouri aka Ancient Rome, is so much better than Kansas!

  370. Jenny, why is Montana not on the list? You are missing such an opportunity to find all manner of stuffed dead things. Montanas love stuffed dead shit. Many of us like your book too.

    Denise Malloy recently posted When The Girls Go South.

  371. Ugh….Baltimore always gets skipped. Sadface.

  372. I’m also a mom. Also a geek. Also with anxiety, and mine is in large part the reason I avoid driving as though it were the bubonic plague.

    Thought of you when I saw this today, enjoy (2/5/13) : http://shirt.woot.com/

  373. Please please come back to DC….was having panic attack issues the last time you were in town so I couldn’t make it. Maybe find place with a big ladies room so I can meet you there? Thanks!!!!

  374. 374
    Natalie Bourque

    Come to Boston or NH!

  375. Ahhhh! No Texas dates? Let us know if any get added 😀 I would love to meet you.

    Cassie recently posted I will get them one way or another, hehehehe.

  376. d’aww, man. of COURSE you’re going to come to arizona while i’m in canada. *sigh*….

  377. No Los Angeles, or Orange County, CA???? Booo! Good luck on your tour!

  378. Still no Michigan date!!?? Give some love to your Wolverines (fist pump)!

  379. There is more to New York than just the city!

  380. Come back to Colorado!! I will come and see you and I will bring all of my friends. Ok so I don’ t have any friends, but I will find some….

  381. Two dates in Ohio right before I leave for Blissdom. Yay! Although it would have been ironic if I was in Texas while you were in Ohio.

    condo blues recently posted How to Make an X Ray Lampshade.

  382. My offer of bringing in a taxidermied moose (like full, complete, entire moose) that you can actually sit on is still valid if you include Fairbanks, Alaska to the book tour… Hell, you could give a reading from the top of the moose. It would be awesome!

    Nita recently posted House Guests.

  383. Arrrrgh, no SoCal stops. =( Missed them last time because of my job, now I’m unemployed and don’t have the cash to drive up to NorCal. Q.Q

    Brandy Camel recently posted [Beta Review] Path of Exile.

  384. Yay! You are going to be in Cincinnati! I can’t wait to get to see you!

  385. OK, so I absolutely adore you and would totally be your BFF and stalk you if it weren’t for the whole you in TX me in IL thing. But thought you would like to know that the tour stop for Chicago isn’t actually in chicago. {I have a big ole sad face right now.} Your tourr is in some suburb of Chicago where i probably won’t be able to get to to tell you how mch your experiences in animal husbandry made me giggle out loud in public.

  386. You really do circle around Indy without stopping, you should totally add this city on your tour.

  387. 387
    Evil Daughter

    You should come to West Palm Beach, FL before it gets too hot.

  388. 388
    Wench (don't ask)

    When are you coming to NC?

  389. I was so excited to see you’re coming to STL, but I really wanted to take my sister to see you, but she’s only 20 and says min age is 21 for the STL event. We all loved your book, but I think she could especially relate since she’s been battling fibromyalgia for years. Any chance part of the event would be okay for under 21 participants? I would love the chance to bring her!

  390. 390
    Christine D.

    Des Moines needs you too!

  391. I need you to either come to portland, oregon or so.ewhere near lexington, ky so I can send my little brother to get your autograph for me… think you can pencil that in?

  392. So now I see the challenge in purchasing books for the kindle. No autographs!!!!! Will definitely need to rethink this.

  393. 393
    Vee from SD

    OH NO! I worry for you….the book tour took it all out of you last time, and now you’re going back into the fire! You are brave for getting back on the horse, (I’m mixing my metaphors!) but with my own experience with depression, I avoid the triggers. And that kind of sucks.
    You have my admiration for living life the way you want to, and saying F**k You to the black cloud that is itching to come back.
    Vee from SD

  394. Yes! Cincinnati right before my birthday, best thing ever! See you then.

  395. Come to New Orleans! I will totally come see you and bring baked goods!

  396. I’m so excited that you will be in Danville, CA. I’m so going to go and see you and probably cry because I get too excited when I meet someone that I love. But totally not in a creepy, stalkerish way. I’m so just excited!!!!

  397. Where the hell is Danville?! :/

  398. 398
    Jill Tinsley

    Please visit Richmond, Virginia!

  399. Well, woulda look at that. The Bloggess is coming to San Jose, CA. On April 3. At 7pm. A location, date and time that I can actually make.

    Because this is an obvious miracle, and I am not an ignorer of miracles, I shall be there! Though I will not have a jarred brain or live kitten to offer. Though, depending on the future health of my very old and mean cat, I may have a jarred cat.

    I am going to check eBay for a giant jar. See you in April!

  400. Hey, what about San Diego??? You were AWESOME last time!!! I miss you!!!
    love you to pieces,

  401. ARGHH!!!!! I can not think of one good reason to plan a math field trip to Parmus that would educational in the geometry world!

  402. LOUISVILLE, BABY. You just made my spring. Working on ways to create a fundraiser for the Traveling Red Dress or silver ribbon Mental Health awareness!!!

  403. San Antonio? Austin? Pleeeeaaassee??

  404. If you come to Goshen, Ind., I promise you a ride in an Amish buggy. And noodles. Lots of noodles.

  405. Seriously, nothing in the Pacific Northwest? Can we interest you in Sasquatch? C’mon, we love you up here! Please??

  406. Louisville, KY! YAYY!

    Shamelessly Sassy recently posted 30 by 30: 30 Things to Accomplish by 30!.

  407. WAAAAAAAAAH!! You’re not coming to WOVERINES *FISTPUMP*!!!

    I think I speak for everyone in this great state of WOLVERINES *FISTPUMP!!* that we’re feeling just a TAD slighted over here.

    I promise if you come to WOLVERINES *FISTPUMP* we’ll significantly add to your creative taxidermy collection!!


  408. Remember how much you loved Seattle? Come back and love us some more. Just don’t go to Costco.

  409. Here’s another vote for Omaha! Please please please??? And somebody mentioned our WORLD-CLASS ZOO? Damn straight!

  410. What the fucking fuck.

    No Seattle?

    That white girl recently posted My moment of fangirling.

  411. New Orleans? Destin? Anywhere in between? Central Gulf Coast, please!

  412. Not that anyone ever gets to comment 404, but if anyone wants to carpool to Louisville from Middle TN, hit me up, YO! devanallen@att.net

  413. Shame on you coming to Chicago when I won’t be here.

  414. How about Nashville??? Check out Parnassus Books….

  415. YOU ARE COMING TO NAPERVILLE???? SO MUCH HAPPINESS!!! It’s like you KNEW I was devastated last time I couldn’t come when you were in Chicago.

  416. Why you no come to the Pacific Northwest?!

  417. You are coming to St. Louis! I will be there, but not with bells on, because they creep me out a little bit.

  418. COME TO ENGLAND!! Please? Please please please?

  419. Since you are going to Ohio you should pop up to see us in Detroit. Splendors abound in Detroit. Seriously..please come!

  420. We’d love to have you in Vancouver, Canada! Please? Or Seattle! Road trip!

  421. houston?

  422. New Orleans? Please?!?

  423. What? No Minneapolis stop?!! I’m pretty sure our state is the birthplace of taxidermy!

  424. How about Doylestown, PA? Not too far from Philadelphia and there is a great Independent bookstore with a bed and breakfast just down the block. My friend Sarah (www.smartbitchestrashybooks.com) did a reading from her first book there.

  425. 425
    Stephanie Fisher

    Will they never send you to Las Vegas? 🙁 I wish you the best of luck and safe traveling

  426. Come further south to San Luis Obispo. Please. Pretty please. Dammit.

  427. Point of clarification – the Kansas City airport is in fact in Missouri. And while it is in the sticks, it is the most convenient airport ever from which to depart. You’ll see!

  428. Idaho, please come to Idaho.

  429. You should make a stop in El Paso on your way home from Pheonix. Even though I’ll be getting married that week I will totally take time out of my being a bride schedule (which I am really not looking forward to) to come to your book signing. Just don’t make it on April 13th at 6pm…my future husband might not appreciate that too much.

    Can I bribe you with cake? Or even an invite to the wedding?

  430. Holy shit, y’all. This is the funniest thing I have read. Ever. Looking forward to stalking you non-creepily while you are in Ohio.

  431. 🙁 really wishing Alabama could get on that tour schedule

  432. 432
    Amanda now the most excited person in the room

    I just did a full on GASP SHOCKED FACE ALMOST CRY because you are coming to :

    DAYTON OHIO!!!!!!!!!

    OMG. I am so excited. I am going to fall over.

    Don’t worry, we have good things in Dayton. Like a musty, moldy horrifyingly awkward air force museum that people from all over the world come to see (and if my family makes me go to one more time, I will punch them).

    We also invented the ice cube tray, you are welcome. (And the ice cream cone. And the YO-YO.)

    When you fly in, make sure that you stop by the airport shop and get the featured “Nothing Tips Like a Cow” t-shirt. In yellow or green!

    Also, Forbes recently rated Dayton as the #1 happiest city to work in right now. Don’t worry, it’s not true. We’re all kind of wondering what they put in the water at Forbes right now.

  433. 433
    Peyton Plummer

    Do you plan on coming to the Maryland/D.C. area? Please do.

  434. Um… Where is the Colorado stop? I’m going to have to go to Arizona! Blerg.

  435. How did KNOXVEGAS get left off again?!?! (Knoxville, TN)
    That would be like the most exciting thing since…well, ever here!

  436. Sooo close but so far. Why does “Chicago” have to mean 1-2 hours drive outside the city? (“they” – whoever they are – always do this to me).

    Kat recently posted When Did it Get to be November?.

  437. yes!!!! so excited.

    Michele recently posted Day #14-A mixed bag.

  438. I would like to BEG you to come to South Carolina. 🙂 That’s all.

    Danielle recently posted A year in blogging.

  439. I am starting to feel that you have something against Indianapolis.

    I mean, you’d fit right in in Indiana – plenty of rednecks who like taxidermy. You could probably find some neat new critters to bring home to fit into your critter-land!


  440. Which Books Inc in San Francisco? There are like 5 of them. I have to see you.

    Ronja Zigler recently posted Back on line!.

  441. it’s so totally appropriate that you’re reading in San Francisco on April Fool’s Day!

  442. Serious question!! How do you feel about cheesecake?

    (I love it. It does not love me. ~ Jenny)

  443. How are we supposed to be BFFs if you won’t tour in Dallas?

  444. Way cool! This rocks.

    Teeny Bikini recently posted How Hard Could It Be?.

  445. You so have to come to Toronto – we love you here!!

  446. Who did you have to piss off to get sent to Danville?

    Karen Peterson recently posted Sometimes, in Order to Move Forward, You Have to Look Back.

  447. 447
    kt, Mitzi, Pickles, and Sage

    Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh Pittsburgh, please dearest jeebus, come to PITTSBURGH!!!!!

  448. Bah, You need to come to Lawrence, KANSAS (you’d get to come over to the Kansas side!) It’s not too far away, unfortunately, I won’t be able to make it since it’s on a weeknight and I work early :/ Oh well, maybe next time. I loved the book and my husband complained that he couldn’t lay on my boobs and read since I was laughing for a good portion of the book.

  449. Oh my God!!!!! I will be there in Danville. On my calendar.

  450. Fabulous! I hope that Seattle or any major city within a 5 hour driving radius is added.

  451. 451

    SOOO excited you’re coming to San Jose. But really, they put you at the worst possible mall in a sketchy side of town. If it’s not too late, maybe you can talk them into, well, ANY other Barnes and Noble in the area. But I will be there anyways. Toodles!

  452. Get your fuckin arse to Portland. Powells is tons better than B&N, and Costco(?)

  453. I’m unreasonably and unhingedly crushed that you’re not swinging by SoCal. For the past five minutes, I’ve been researching the other California locations, checking dates, and considering the feasibility of a 14 round trip drive through L.A. on a weeknight prior to an 8AM-6PM workday in my 15 year old van, Alvin. It would be a really cool way to reach the 250,000 mile mark, but it might also mean getting stranded in Compton at 3AM or something and I’m not sure how my boyfriend would respond to the frantic call that would necessarily follow. Going to consult with my bff and either get talked down or hatch an even crazier plan. Might see you at one of the Cali locations or in AZ, maybe with a great hitchhiking story or some new friends from AAA. Haven’t done anything wild and escapey since the Salton Sea. Don’t ever go there in the summer. I can’t talk about it without feeling queasy. Sidenote, however – I now know a website where you can score a framed souvenir fish carcass from one of the die-offs.

  454. I am blocks away on March 6th. I believe I can be at B&N and tell you in person about Tim Minchin.


  455. You should come to Coeur d’Alene, ID – Sarah Palin did…

  456. 456
    Shana Coppedge

    Just bought my tickets for the Kansas City event!!! So excited you’re coming here!!

  457. I’m so bummed-you’re coming while I’m away on business! You suck! Ok, you don’t, but kinda for choosing this date! Can’t a womsn make a living 🙂 I hate smilies!

  458. I almost threw my laptop across the room as I jumped up in excitement!!! What? Jenny Lawson in my Joseph Beth!! I called immediately to see if I needed a ticket. I haven’t been this jazzed in a while. Counting down the days. If we are past daylight savings time it may be light enough for readings in the parking lot. Yeah!!!

  459. You should make a stop in Oregon sometime! It would be amazing! 🙂

  460. Why can’t your book tour include South Jersey?? North Jersey gets everything, great snowstorm tonight, great shopping and lets not forget they have the murder capital of the world. We here in south jersey only have 2nd highest murder rate in Camden and alas no Jenny. We truly are the red headed step child.

  461. Reallllyyy? No TEXAS? That’s pretty disappointing. :-/ Hmph. Maybe you will add more locations (San Antonio, Austin, Dallas..I’ll take almost anything).

  462. I am SOFA KING sad that I moved from Cincy and will not be there for the reading you arranged for my birthday. It would have been the best. birthday party. ever.

  463. ‘Frankenstein’s Monster’

    Cathy recently posted 365 Poems: Through a Wood Weird and Wild.

  464. international tour..?? Vancouver loves you!

  465. 465
    Paula Helm Murray

    The Rainy Day Books gig is actually going to be at Unity on the Plaza. Which is a marvelous place to see a speaker/author/etc. We got our tickets, actually two sets. So SQUEE, we are going to be there!

  466. Where is Canada yo?!

  467. 467
    Sandra (a.k.a. Sandrandan)

    Holy Chrimoly!!!! You’re coming to my part of the world soon! It looks like I’ll be making a trip to Dayton soon!

  468. 468
    Carrie Davis

    I’m really excited that you’re coming to KC. And, as someone who lives on the Kansas side of the metro area, I really wanted to convince you to come to our side of the state line with some quirky thing (and we do have a famous stuffed horse, but he lives in Lawrence, which is a bit of a drive from Kansas City).

    But then I found this. And now I think that you might need to spend any free time you have in Independence (a MO-side suburb). https://www.facebook.com/pages/Leilas-Hair-Museum/210681535670290

  469. Why not Canada? Maybe cause it’s bloody cold up here in Calgary, that’s probably why…but that’s also why we need you. We love you. You make us laugh. And we are sounding too needy. But, you would sell a lot of books. We even have Costco parking lots if you are feeling nostalgic about that experience. But bring your parka, mittens, toque (Canadian for knitted cap) and boots if you come before May.

  470. Bummed for no Denver! But congrats!!!

    Aimee Giese | Greeblemonkey recently posted The Funniest People on Twitter.

  471. Yay for the new tour! But please tell me you’ll come to Atlanta sometime in the near future. Oh, please tell me that.

    Angela recently posted Drive-by update.

  472. Crud, I USED TO LIVE CATTY CORNER ACROSS THE STREET FROM LEFT BANK BOOKS IN ST. LOUIS, MO :(. Shoot, darn, heck, frack, etc… Too bad you’re not coming to the Tattered Cover in Denver. It’s pretty cool. Have fun.

  473. Please come to Pittsburgh. You seem to come right through between New York and Ohio. I noticed that there are 12 occurrences of people in Pittsburgh asking you to please come here on this thread alone. I believe that means we here in da burgh would welcome you with open arms and not creepily stalk you or anything 🙂

    Pittsburgh is super cool. Its not a large metropolis, but we were the site where the last Batman was filmed so you could say that we are Gotham. The people in Pittsburgh rock. We are all super friendly. We have actually turned a parking lot into a park (Schenley Plaza). And the Cathedral of Learning across the street from the lot turned park is a gothic cathedral on crack (26 stories) and used for secular education. Its rather cool and ironic (and the nationality rooms are fascinating).

    We put french fries in sandwiches and on salads. Seriously, I think its a law here. The New York Times has suggested that Pittsburgh is not only a great getaway spot, but a good place to move!

    I think that those are enough reasons for now. More can be provided upon request.

  474. In case you haven’t been told…there’s a haunted attraction trade show in St Louis the same weekend of your book tour date.



  475. You’ll be in my neck of the woods -somewhat- on my birthday. Yay!! It won’t be sucky after all.

  476. Wish you would have been able to fit Tucson, AZ on your list. Will have missed you both times, but I still totally love your book (will by the paperback for the extra chapter). Maybe get to see you on yor next book.
    Have fun on tour.

  477. 477
    Cheryl Yakan

    Jenny I love your work. Please come to Orlando,Florida! !!!

  478. 478
    Juleah Brewer

    I’m so glad you’re coming back to AZ! It’s time for Round 2!!

  479. There are a couple Books, Inc. locations in SF. Hoping for an update with a specific location? I may drive in from Sacramento.

  480. Not stopping in Virginia at all? That makes me sad. 🙁 <—–sad face.

  481. I never win. Prove me wrong. 😉
    Tracking the tour to see how it lines up with my travel, may catch you this time, I missed in Boston last go around.

  482. Sacramento? Please?

  483. Could you please come to Rochester, MN? You can have your choice of Costco or Sam’s Club parking lots!

    Amy recently posted Pink Rose Garden Bracelet (no. 759) by MorningStarArts.

  484. Which Books, Inc. in SF? There are 3 of them. Thanks!

  485. Would love for you to come to Vancouver, BC. Was in Village Books in Fairhaven (near Bellingham, WA) and saw a huge cardboard ad for Let’s Pretend. They had a great spot with a desk for you to sign books. Nudge, nudge. Please ask the PTB to bring you up this way! Please!


  487. while you are on book tour, I will be in the town where you bought Beyonce. Life is so unfair.

  488. Please come to Hershey, PA, or at least somewhere close to Central PA. We have chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate…
    While you’re signing books in Ohio just tell them you need to use the restroom and then when they’re not looking, slip out the bathroom window and tell your driver to head east and don’t stop until you smell chocolate.

  489. I feel like TX should be a given… ???

  490. ummm Houston. duh. sheesh.


    Loco YaYa recently posted Finding Your Past.

  491. Seoul!!! Come to Seoul!!!

  492. I just had this awesome visual in my head of you starting every leg of your tour, running out and fist pumping to Paperback Writer (Beatles, obvy) like a motivational speaker hopped up on blow (or Oprah on big giveaway days). It’s a hilarious thing to envision.

  493. No Austin, TX this time? BOOOOOOO.

    But yay for paperback editions!

  494. April 1 is the annual St. Stupid’s Day parade in San Francisco.

  495. You should go to the Barnes & Noble in Princeton, New Jersey… because my daughter works there. 🙂

    Tom recently posted Elijah Parish Lovejoy.

  496. So sad to see that you’re still not coming to Michigan. I will order the paperback and will maybe trade for my hardcover that I gave to my friend to read months ago. She said she’s still not finished reading it – how can that be? Thank you for being you Jenny, you deserve everything good that has come your way.

  497. How do we convince your publisher to send you to Raleigh/Durham? What is their favorite flavor of crack?

  498. You could add Las Vegas on April 5th, since we’re not that far from Phoenix! 😀

  499. Please visit Washington DC or Northern VA, I’ll hire a babysitter and bring the wine!!

    Christine recently posted Building Me.

  500. Okay, so maybe the Omaha Zoo is not enough incitement. I get it, you prefer dead animals. We have BOOZE too!! And if you prefer we can find a cozy bathroom for you to sign books in and no one will even notice because the lines for the women’s room is always around the corner. Did I mention the booze? I would love to see you again. 🙂

  501. What???? No trip to London. Boooooo. And I was going to take you on a personal tour that would include a walk-by of that two-headed taxidermied cat I took a picture of JUST FOR YOU.

    Meg B recently posted Warning: Not-For-Mealtime Reading.

  502. Please come to Boston in the springtime….

  503. Why no Rochester, NY?

  504. Here’s voting for a stop in Austin!!

  505. Still no Buffalo! ~le sigh~

    Cathy recently posted High-Sticking in the Highlands.

  506. Come to the DC AREA!!! I would find go to a taxidermist to find you a new friend!

  507. I second Cathy’s comment! What do you have against Buffalo? Its an interesting city filled with the friendliest people, and I even know of a really great taxidermy shop you could visit while you’re here!

  508. I asked my friend what I should say to get you to add Omaha, NE to your tour… it went like this:

    ME:”Jenny Lawson is on tour, but the closest town is KC. How can we get her here?”
    HIM: “Say this:BEEEOTCH! You’re too good for Omaha!”
    ME: “I’m not calling Jenny Lawson a BEEEOTCH!”
    HIM” Tell her Counting Crows wrote a song about Omaha and if it was cool enough for them it should be cool enough for her!”
    ME: “What’s the song called?
    HIM:”Omaha! You’d think you’d know that being from Omaha! Seriously?”
    ME: “I’ll youtube it….”
    (More dialogue about the crazy home made Omaha videos on youtube…PLEASE don’t look. You’ll be disturbed.)
    ME:”I think I’ll just use this conversation.”
    Also, I googled taxidermy Omaha and 10 places popped up. Surely, that says Omaha is the place for you!

  509. seriously, please come here: The Last Bookstore: http://lastbookstorela.com/about/ look how awesome it is! everything on the second floor is $1! located in old bank building!

  510. Puh-lease stop by on your way home to The Woodlands/Houston area!!! If you do I will go find you the most F-ed up thing on the side of the road!!!!

  511. I’ll totally buy dinner and let you pet my cats if you just swing through des moines ia!

  512. To put what I’m about to say in context, I live in Australia. In March, I will be flying ALL THE WAY from Australia to the US. That’s really far and will require many, many hours of sitting folded into a tiny seat listening to other people’s children whinge. And now I find out you’re going to be in all the cities I’m going to, but on the wrong dates. It’s like you’re deliberately avoiding me. Is that what’s happening here? Do you just hate Australians? There is NOTHING WRONG with vegemite, JENNY.

  513. HOLY CRAP you are making a stop in Louisville. All of my prayers have been answered.

  514. ehem, where is seattle on your list?

    sera recently posted week six: behind.

  515. Your coming to OHIO!!! wooooooooot!!

  516. I’ll see you in KC- so excited, can’t wait!! 🙂

  517. Virginia possibly???

  518. You should come to Warrenton, VA. Last April they filmed some of the stuff from J. Edgar here! Well, the courtroom stuff, but it’s totally our town!

    Fine, just something close to DC. I’ll drive to Gaithersburg like last time if I must, that was fun even though it was 5000 degrees. But I got to meet YOU!!!. And I got to meet Barathunde Thurston, too, who called me racist, which was lots more fun than it sounds.

    Sooooo… extend the tour, perhaps???

  519. 519
    Virginia Gribben

    I am squeeling! Finally someone I adore is touring where I live!! See you March 20th in Cin City!!!

  520. EFFING THURSDAYS! Anderson’s bookstore in Chicago (well, Naperville, but whatever) is across the street from my library and they ALWAYS have the best events on Thursday nights! So I will be across the street giving awesome literature to children but know that there is one more person with you in spirit. And not in a creepy ghostly way. (I might stop by at 9 and see if the party is still going.)

  521. 521
    Sarah Demers

    Any chance you’ll ever some to Salt Lake City. You’re seriously my hero, and It would probably make my life 1000xs better if I ever got to meet you!

  522. Hey–Why don’t you come on down the road to Austin?? I listened your audio book and I just want to be sure it really WAS you speaking on it…if you were to tour here and give a reading I could verify that itwas, indeed,you speaking on your audio book and not some overpaid voice actor …Anyway…loved your book, which brought back memories(nightmares) of my own childhood…hope to hear you soon

  523. You should totally come to Binghamton NY- wait- no you shouldn’t-you should never ever go to Binghamton NY- This is why you should never listen to a random stranger on the internet- you could wind up visiting a place like Binghamton NY….

  524. Las Vegas should really be on the itinerary… just sayin. I’d show up… but now it’s looking like I’ll have to make another trip to Phoenix… OH, and what are the odds you’d sign my Kindle.. since I don’t have an actual book. Maybe I’ll buy the paperback JUST so I can get your siggie, and the extra chapter… hmmmm… Still voting for adding Vegas though.. I’d save enough money to buy a few paperbacks.

  525. I already tweeted..or I think I did..Please tell your people to book in MA!! (sorry don’t know how to spell it) as I just moved here from the West Coast. Missed ya there and don’t wanna miss ya again..Congrats from MA either way!!

  526. 526
    Jennifer McLaughlin

    I wish you were coming to Alaska….

  527. Anny Chance of Las Vegas?

  528. Please, p,ease, please come to Houston! You know you miss us!!!

  529. And the one opportunity I would get when you come to the midwest I’m out of town BOTH DAYSSS. Come to Indianapolis. Please?

  530. I’m so excited you’re coming to the bay area on your tour. But, I have to tell you that I think you’re cooler than only going to San Jose. I think you should also check out Book Passage in Mill Valley, http://www.bookpassage.com/
    I think you should do a reading there too. I’ll tell everyone. We’ll pack the place and I’ll never unfollow you on twitter.

  531. You should squeeze in a visit to the Joseph Beth in Lexington, KY. (I mean you’re hitting B&N in Louisville…and then hitting Joseph Beth in Cinci….so close…so close…)

  532. One word.
    Yes, it is cold. Yes, it is far. BUT, think of the advantages.
    Nice people. Except me of course because I am a 48 year old, mother of two bad ass. Yea, that’s right. I am scary. Until suppertime and then my kids are scary.
    Igloos. No we don’t live in them but maybe you would come if you thought we did because really, an igloo? How cool is that?
    Polar Bears. Yes, we have them (waaaaaaay up north) but better come quick since it seems we have completely fucked up the environment and are killing them off. I guess we aren’t that nice after all.
    Other than those items, we are exactly like you. Insane. Please come.
    Your biggest Canadian fan,

  533. Wish you were coming to Visalia, CA! This town could use your humor =)

  534. Gonna come and see you in Chicago. I will be the giddy blonde. That way you can recognize me.

  535. I am so happy the book is doing well for you!

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted Recently Named One of Top Ten Blogs in the World.

  536. Frowny face…why no Seattle??? There’s no snow…everything is REALLY green!! Come to Seattle!!!!


  538. Hey, about about Maine — it’s a lot like Texas, only colder. Or at least somewhere in New England. I’d even buy a copy of the book for you to sign, even though a friend already lent me her copy.

  539. Please come to Boston!!!

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