So, really, this isn’t a post. It’s just me reaching out into the universe so that other people aren’t as alone as I was when I realized I was part unicorn.
Every night I wash my face and examine it to see if I have any new wrinkles. This isn’t OCD. It’s just part of being a girl. With OCD. So, last night I washed my face and checked it carefully and it was normal and then this morning I woke up and found a three inch white hair growing out of the center of my forehead.
What the shit, y’all.
It was totally not there yesterday and today it’s there. So I started to think that maybe Victor glued it on to my forehead in the middle of the night just to be a dick but I don’t want to ask him about it because THERE IS A THREE INCH HAIR GROWING OUT OF MY FACE AND THAT IS NOT SEXY. So I pull it out with tweezers and I go to look on the internet for “fast-growing white hair” and turns out that there are a lots message boards (lots = more than two. Specifically, three.) about people who woke up with long white hairs growing out of them and about half are growing out of the middle of their foreheads. Which is a really weird coincidence.
And, yes, I remember my great grandma having those old-lady chin hairs but this is not that, let me assure you. It’s a giant, white hair growing out of the center of my forehead. And then I started thinking that horns are made out of the same thing that fingernails and hair are made of and maybe this is just the way I turn into a unicorn. So it was probably just a very limp unicorn horn. The bad news is that I freaked out and plucked it before documenting it in a picture but the good news is that according to these message boards these white alien hairs frequently come back out of nowhere so if it happens again I’ll totally take a picture of it.
Anyway, this post is just to say that if you got here looking for “HOLY SHIT WHY IS THERE A THREE INCH WHITE HAIR ON MY FOREHEAD?” you are not alone and you might be turning into a unicorn.
You are welcome.
PS. Please tell me something weird about your body so I feel less fucked up in comparison.
You can always braid your chin hairs with beads. It looks fabulous. Don’t ask me how I know!
I’ve gotten that. Multiple times.
I like your unicorn theory. Very much.
We’re not weird, we’re MAGICAL.
Q.E.D.
I have a really hairy patch to the left of my belly button, which is probably four times as dense as the hair to the right of my belly button. Does that help?
I consistently get one of those on my upper arm and my right jawline. My theory is that the hair usually lies flat and so you dont see it. but then one day the light catches it and youre like WTF???
Point is- the hair will probably come back. because mine do. its like the worlds worst beard
I should also mention here that alopecia and usually have no hair, so im all, WTF to this one effed up hair follicle that didnt get the stop-work message.
Grey hairs. Growing OUT OF MY NECK.
I pulled a two and a half inch white hair out of my nose a while ago. Seriously creepy.
I used to have a black three inch hair that would grow out of the middle of my neck. SEXY.
I HATE limp unicorn horns. They seem so … personal.
I woke up one morning a few years ago with a two-inch long white hair growing out of the bridge of my nose. I thought I had lint in my eye until I realized it was attached. It grows back overnight about once a year now.
My hubby has the same thing.
I won’t even get started on the whole nipple adjustments I need to do when I wear a bathing suit ever since breastfeeding. And there’s my moustache. Also, when I jump up and down my ass slaps my thighs and it actually makes a noise. I think I’m going back to bed now.
p.s. I also think there’s a direct correlation between my eyebrows getting thinner and my toes beginning to grow hair.
Sometimes when I sneeze, it smells awful. I have no idea why. I’ve googled and no one knows why, either. But it happens to a bunch of people. It freaks me out. Also, I have a little hole near my ear that is smelly. The doctor said it’s a hair follicle, but I call BS.
I would totally prefer a possible unicorn horn to be smelly. 🙂
Though I have never Googled “really long errant white hairs that seemingly appear overnight,” I assume they are natural because they appear on my chest regularly. See? At least it wasn’t on your chest!
The smell of watermelon makes me nauseous. I know you can’t SEE that, but I’ve been assured that it’s weird.
Does having three nostrils count?
The universe was giving you a Valentines Day present. What’s better that unicorns?
I totally had one of those but on my cheek. So part-unicorn born with unicorn deformity.
Definitely had those before. Though 3 inches, that’s determination!
You know what’s fucked up? Tonsil stones. Thank god for the internet though, at least we now have names (and fellow sufferers) for our body weirdness.
I get a weird, clear hair that magically appears overnight underneath my left eye. I swear, I get a weird twitch and the next day and inch long clear hair. I have red hair. Not sure where my clear hairs come from.
I HAVE NO HAIRS GROWING FROM THE TOP OF MY HEAD!!!
And now I feel like I have to carefully check my face every morning – because who knows when it will betray me and grow a unicorn horn in the middle of the night.
I don’t have this, but I do have a random dark hair that grows out of my arm. One day, nothing, the next day, it’s like three inches. My sister has the same thing. I don’t know what that means we’re turning into, but we must not be cool enough to be unicorns.
I have one of those that grows out of my cheek. One day nothing, next day BAM. Huge long white hair. I also have a whisker that periodically appears on my chin but I never see it growing; I only see it when it bursts forth in its glory like a goatee from hell. That ones all coarse and black so its not even basically-invisible like my cheek one. :/
Not only have I had the weird forehead hair that has grown back THREE fucking times, but a couple months ago my sister found 2 long gray hairs growing out of my EAR. Not even kidding.
I have a surprise 1-2″ hair that grows out of my neck, but never in the same place twice.
I had the same issue. I’m 16.. and I’m also graying. >.<
I am regularly pulling unwanted hairs from MY EARLOBES these days.
And I found long one of those thin, whispy, mutant hairs growing out of my shoulder recently.
There. Feel better?
My skull is so lumpy, that when I have had people feel the weird divets in it, they ask me if I was thrown around like a rag doll as a child. My boyfriend describes it as “freaky” and “good thing you have hair to cover that up”
Playing with my belly button makes me have to pee. Also, since having kids (ie, pushing them out) I haven’t had to touch a soiled tampon. I just push like I did when I was in labor! Gross, but not more gross than touching a dirty tampon, right?
I get one of these on my neck under my chin. The first time I found it I was 26. It was long. I freaked out. Now I notice it growing every other week or so and pluck it immediately. One other time I had a single white hair growing out of my eyelid. MY EYELID. It hasn’t come back since the first time I plucked it.
It doesn’t get more horrifying than boob hair. I’d happy trade my boob hair for your unicorn hair.
Oh you very young one, you have so many more bodily delights/changes to look forward to as you age, I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise for you by sharing mine; but one word to the wise: stay away from magnifying mirrors. Far away.
They are evil.
Occasionally find one growing out of my right jawline. No idea how it gets to be so long. I tend towards weird hairs and I keep watch for them. Then BANG! Three inches. And I now have one white lower eyelash. WTH?
So I should stop whining about the chin hairs?
I have a white chest hair that keeps coming back. Is this what it means to be turning 40??
My mom often complains of big stray hairs growing out of her neck. Unfortunately for her, she can’t claim to be a unicorn.
Just moments ago, I went to the washroom, and after I was done, I was washing my hands and I had a massive unexpected attack of sneezes. Apparently I wasn’t as done peeing as I thought I was, and I wet my pants a little. Also not nearly as cool as being a unicorn.
keep it growing, you can use it to make a wand.
I’ve got a small hair that grows out of the bottom of my chin. Sometimes it’s white. Sometimes brown. It never grows longer than a centimeter, but does grow out over night!
I have a completely white patch on my left ankle. Everything around it will tan, no problem, but it won’t. No clue why not, and it’s been that way since I was a child.
Damn it, I always get the shitty end of the stick. My superfine, fast growing white hair grows out of the side of face. I want to be a limp unicorn too.
I have about six black witch hairs that grow out of my chin and neck. Just like your horn, they magically appear out of nowhere and are suddenly 3 inches long. And they never appear at the same time.
I have one massive black one that comes out of the inside of my elbow. It’s weird. But it’s mine.
I wear fake toenails on my big toes because my real ones are hideously deformed due to ingrown toe nails when I was a teenager.
Also? I have one of those 3″ long white hairs…in the center of my chest. Hot, right?
I have two birthmarks. One is a medium-sized brown free-form thing on my rear end that has unfortunate placement and makes people do double-takes, especially if I’ve just come out of the restroom. [Of course, this is only noticeable if I am wearing a bathing suit, which I don’t tend to do very often.]
My husband and I both get those, although mine are usually more off to the side, like half-way between the mid-arch of my eyebrow and my hairline.
I remember when my husband and I realized that we both got these things (“You, too??”) My husband calls them cancer hairs, since they’re pure white and seem to appear spontaneously.
I have a mutant arm hair right where my elbow bends. It’s also a good 3 inches long & always grows back no matter how many times I pluck it. I usually leave it alone – mostly because it’s amusing to watch my husband freak out if the mutant arm hair gets caught in a breeze and starts flapping around. My sister has one in the same spot. You should check with your sis to see if she’s part unicorn too.
look at it this way …. if you are a unicorn then you can poop rainbows and say with truthfulness that “your shit doesn’t stink”
One hair, top of my right ear. More of a bull’s horn than a unicorn.
I have a mole. Nay- a beauty mark above my lip. Okay, it’s closer to my nose, but that’s less cool. SIgh. This beauty mark goes from zero to Wicked-Witch-of-the-West overnight. I’m normal during bedtime routine then when I catch a glimpse in the van mirror as I’m driving kids to school there’s like 3 long black hairs trying to conquer my face. What?!? I’m a redhead for one. And what?!?
Next time take a picture then pluck.
I bruise like a peach. I know that may not seem weird to you, but as a child I think more than one complaint was filed with CPS because strangers thought my parents were beating me. Turns out, I’m just clumsy and bruise easily.
I suppose if it grows on your ass you are still just a regular horse…. damn
I have white chin hair. I am going to have a very long goatee with a black mustache!
in today’s news: the creator of the ‘unicorn success club’ is turning into a unicorn.
meanwhile, a local woman wonders why those few strands of hair refuse to accept colour and insist on sitting there mocking her.
Weird loves company!
Haven’t you ever seen the Dr. Seuss quote?
We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find
someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them
and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
That’s pretty much my personal motto.
My overnight-three-inch-long-hair is black and appears on my shoulder. Quite fetching.
Is it odd that I’m sad that my random upper arm arm hair was only like an inch long when I found it and freaked out? I should have bonded with it and let it grow to it’s full potential. Now I’ll never know if I’m a deformed unicorn.
Marci
Sometimes, when I poop, it smells like cat poop. No joke. Gross, but true.
my mom has one. i also call it her unicorn horn!
as for personal bodily oddity, i can’t compete with the above so i’m not even trying.
The same thing has totally happened to me…it’s all wiry and shit. Creeps me out.
I have a mole on my right arm that four hairs grow from. Not one hair. Not fifteen hairs. Four hair. They’re long too. And when I shave it, four grow back. I’ve counted. It kinda freaks the bf out but I’m convinced it’s part of my superpower.
I had ONE eyelash that just kept on growing. I just called it my ‘wild hair’ and went about my business. Of course, it eventually fell out and has never returned…Maybe you’ll be that lucky!
Jenny you are sooooooo not alone!! OMG! Sadly mine was smack dab in the middle of my cheek, same thing over night the crazy 3 inch long hair was just there! Ewww I completely freaked out! AND as if that is not bad enough oh no, I get the same thing only its dark counter part, a 3 inch long jet black hair growing out of the side of my neck on the other side! Ugh! yeah so I think that means I am turning into a yetti, or a wookie, or maybe the abonimable snow girl? Thoughts? And I really hope you read this lol
Oh my god…I’m not alone! My partner “lovingly” teases me about this every time it comes back. As a guy I don’t routinely pluck anything or scrutinize myself that much but I shave it whenever I notice it or he points it out.
This is why I love this place and everyone in it. The level of acceptance is unparalleled. Thank you Jenny! I am laughing so hard right now. Anyhow, I don’t mean to brag or anything but I too have had a ridiculously long white hair growing on my body. In my case it’s the side of my neck. I pulled it thinking it was a piece of thread and oh holy shit no, that little fucker was attached.
Oh, and something weird about my body: all of a sudden, one of my fingernails has started growing . . . crooked. It curls under at the tip, so now I have an excuse to keep them all short! I could never be a drug dealer. Mine would be less scraper and more scooper.
When I was 16 I suddenly found an i-inch white hair growing on my arm. I proudly remember it as my first white hair but after some time it disappeared. It never appeared back. Maybe it’s good; I’m not sure a horn growing out of your arm would be comfortable…
You are not alone. My husband has this one long hair that grows right out the eyeball of his tattoo. It is disturbing. Every time I see it, I have to pluck it out and he insists that it is attached to his spinal cord…..
I get the long white hairs overnight, too, but on my chin, just like little old lady hairs. I’ve never googled it, so before now, I was afraid that I’d somehow missed them for the weeks it would take them to grow that long.
My husband uses a barber, an actual barber, why? Well first it helps him feel manly which apparently he needs since his balls are nicely tucked away near my ice maker. But mostly because a real barber, doesn’t even flinch at these things. A real barber has what most of us would call hedge clippers, and tin snips. When he clamps down on the 30 stiff, coarse, rail road spiked that are jumping out of my husbands ears and eyebrows they make a ‘TINK TINK TINK” noise.. If I were smart I would have save these “clippings”, dipped them in laxatives and used them as blow darts on some heinous wenches. maybe you should save yours too, for the same reason, or a scrap book, OMG wait, you could save them up and have your dad totally make you a new critter… a Jennycorn…. OMG.. yes that’s it.
This morning my 3yo and I were naming body parts. Nose, nostril, eyelid, etc.. I pointed at my chin and she said, “beard!”
If I eat too fast? This one spot on my scalp gets really itchy.
I have a magically-appearing clear (ok, very faintly silver)…(Ok, ok, white!) hair that grows out overnight under my right eye. It visits me about once a year.
I get those too. I also have so much chin hair, my husband says if I grew it out it would look like the beard of a old Chinese man. He’s also willing to pull those awful hairs which is abhorrent and comforting too. Count your blessings girl.
I had one of those grow out of my cheek, magically, so my unicorn horn hasn’t figured out its suppose to come out of my forehead….I think my unicorn dna got the wrong signals from the home world, could ya beam a message back next time you get yours and let them know some of us aren’t getting our horns in the right location?
I have a hair that grows under my eye – like the place you put concealer on to cover dark circles. Only it’s thick and hard, kind of like a plastic thread. I have to pluck it like once a week. I’d say I’m more likely turning into a porcupine than a unicorn.
I had one on my arm once. Didnt happen overnight but it was 6 inches long when I decided to end the tyranny of its reign.
I totally get those growing out of my shoulders. Like freakishly long hairs. I never thought about hair being made of the same things as fingernails and horns. I bet it’s the same things that wings are made of. All these years of plucking those hairs out, I probably would have had wings by now. WTF. Maybe I’m not living up to my La Chusa potential.
So yesterday I walked over to the local nail salon because my claws needed to be sawed down a bit. I decided to treat myself & have my hands done, too. Then the lady started looking at me and begging to wax my eyebrows. I”m pretty sure they decided to gang up on me while speaking in their native tongue, because the other one had walked away, came back & asked if they could wax my eyebrows. I now have about half an eyebrow left on my entire face. I’m glad I didn’t let them wax anything else, even when she told me “You’ll be pretty if you let me wax here.” (pointing above my lip)
So, I have about half an eyebrow, and apparently, a mustache. And I’ll have to go back, because they did a really good job on my nails.
I occasionally wake up with a 3 inch white hair growing out of the middle of my cheek.
Ohgod, I just realized: what if it’s some kind of parasitic form? IT appears suddenly because it doesn’t grow; it ATTACHES ITSELF. So in plucking it you didn’t prevent yourself from getting a horn: you saved your brain from alien invasion.
I cannot IMAGINE what harm could aliens imply on humanity if they were armed with your brain :O
I totally just choked on my banana. Hair on the face is not there one day and then POOF long-haired thing that makes me want to say “what is this hair on my chinny-chin-chin?”
I get these growing from my arms! Brought it up in conversation once and got looked at like a crazy person.
It’s all the thinking you do about Unicorn Success Club manifesting as a unicorn horn.
My “weird thing” is that the left side of my body is larger than the right side. Left foot is a half size larger than the right left ankle, calf & thigh are larger…. Left wrist is larger.
Sadly, most people find “asymmetrical” people less attractive. (At least that’s what people in labcoats report)
I have a funny thick white hair that grows out of my one breast.
Holy shit! You must be developing your mutant powers. Soon I am sure you will look like Rogue and they will whisk you off to join the X men.
For reals though, I have a friend with a third nipple. No joke. Im only a little jealous.
I have noticed lately that I have white eyebrow hair (the fuckers point straight out too) and now white eyelashes. I guess they match my Rouge white streak in my hair.
I have a fungus-y finger from wearing acrylic nails in the 90s and it looks like a witch’s finger that’s bumpy and discolored and it’s magical, too, so if you want I can use Fungus Finger (nicknamed “Gus”) and touch your forehead to make the white hairs stop. Because I’m a good friend like that.
bwahahahaha omg I’m cracking up!!!!! Isn’t it lovely???? I haven’t had that one happen yet, but I have a mole on my arm that sprouts long black hair now and then. While the dermatologist says it’s fine, it’s hideous 😉 Oh and I’m having an eczema/dry skin breakout in the outer flap of my ear and inside my nose. LOVELY.
Is it full moon in Texas right now?
If so…err, best keep away from silver.
OHMYFUCKINGGOD I HAVE ONE OF THOSE THAT KEEPS GROWING BACK AND I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WHO WAS A UNICORN.
Woah, deep breath. So super glad I am not alone in this.
Occasionally I get a white, very thick eyebrow hair that seemingly grows overnight out of only my left eyebrow….and it’s always a surprise! I look for it almost every night but all of a sudden it will just appear and i pluck it out and show my daughter and she tells me, “it’s gross mom, quit showing me this”…but I can’t help it cause I want someone else to see that I’m not making it up. I can only hope I will one day grow a unicorn horn…a much more regal phenom! Next time post a picture! Love your blog and your book! Tracy
Wow. I feel like I need to rush to a mirror after reading how many others have experienced this! My first thought was FREAKY! That is just plain freaky. How does this happen? I’m assuming this growing beneath the skin the whole time, kind of like an ingrown hair but no swelling because there is no bacteria to cause inflammation. Then one day it just breaks through and boom! Instant hair!
My husband has some really, really thick whiskers so one day I decided to tweeze them out. They were so long under the skin it freaked me out! It was barely any stubble on the top and yet underneath the surface was this long thick hair!
I don’t have anything really weird to share other than I can’t sneeze without crossing my legs to keep from peeing my pants. That’s pretty normal for someone who’s had three kids though I’m told. Sucks. Oh, and I get little blackheads on my areolas. Is that strange?
I have several coarse black hairs that spontaneously appear on my face (I’m a girl), but two of them are in exactly the same place but on opposite sides of my face. Symmetry is one of my “things”, so it probably shouldn’t surprise me that my mutant hairs make an effort to at least be even. And, yes, they go from not-there to 2 inches long overnight. WTF – why can’t my socially-acceptable hair do that?!
I’ve had one of those for years! It goes away eventually but my first reaction was similar to yours… Unicorn! At least it’s not black and thick and coming out of your back like “The Fly.” As you age weird stuff starts growing everywhere. Invest in an excellent magnified mirror and put your makeup on by a window with natural light. The good thing is your eyes get worse so you can’t see all your new appendages. Now, if you start growing a tail, I would be concerned.
I have some white armpit hair, which indicates death is just around the corner and that I’m a zebra sans stripes.
About four years ago, I had a four inch hair randomly appear on my lower back. It hasn’t grown back since I freaked out and ripped it out. So, it may never come back!
Thanks, commenters— the people who monitor my internet at work are probably BAFFLED right now at the weird, fucked up shit I’ve just maniacally googled!!! 😛
For as long I can remember I have had a long white hair that grows out of my right cheek. Luckily it doesn’t come back all ingrown when I pluck it down.
Haven’t gotten one on the forehead. Used to have one that would continually reappear every few weeks on the middle of my spine back when I was in middle school. Multiply average girls’-locker-room-anxiety by THAT. I did find one on my cheek the other week and freaked the fuck out when I found a few more hiding in my hairline. I’m twenty-five, Jenny. TWENTY-FIVE. Or, at least, I will be twenty-five next week. Yes, I’m still young enough to explain my age by “almost X.” I’ve decided that I am not going white yet, I am being plagued by alien hairs.
Jenny, you were supposed to leave it!! Real unicorns don’t start out with the solid horns, they start out like that and quickly grow more solid and magical and butterfly-y. Quick, make a rainbow in your house (sunlight through a 2-liter bottle filled with water) and see if you can walk on it a little.
I have a little mole on my left arm. When I was little, my aunt was giving me a bath and she kept scrubbing it ’cause she thought it was dirt. I also have a long dark hair that grows on the same side of my face my Mom had a mole with hair growing. There, two for one. 😉
Apparently my unicorn horn wants to grow out the side of my boob…… one day nothing and the next morning BAM!!! white hair side boob!
I have two granulomas in my breast and one finally abscessed and ruptured and now I have boob puss. Feel better now?
My sister totally gets these! She gets them on her forehead and out of her cheeks. I will have to let her know that she is part of a group of select people who get to be transformed into unicorns and that she should just let them keep growing. Of course, I would take an inappropriate amount of joy in seeing her face covered in wicked long white hairs and because of that reason, she wouldn’t do it. She never wants to do anything fun….
I had an eyelash in my eye so I asked a friend to help me get it out. She found the lash and tried to lift it out of my eye, only to find it was a long, white eyebrow hair. I keep my eyebrows shaped and trimmed but this one rogue eyebrow hair had grown (overnight) and swirled all the way down to my eye. Nice.
I blame hormones. Turned 40 and developed the single chin hair as well as one that grows out the side of my neck. So freakin’ weird. You’re not alone at all 🙂
Three little words – random white pubes
My irises have freckles. For reals. The retina in my right eye even has a mole. I (or make that my optometrist) even has pictures of it. As a matter of fact, every year she dilates my pupils to the size of dinner plates and makes me practically roll my eyes in the back of my head just to get MORE pictures of it. She says she needs the pictures to “monitor it” but I think she takes them to eye doctor conventions and shows them off like you would a side show freak. I might not be turning into a unicorn, but I think maybe I’ve found my “inner eye”.
My friend just went to a reiki class and it was based on who your spirit animal was. She said it comes to you in a vision. She’s pretty sure hers is a unicorn. Nothing’s grown out of her head yet though. She is going to be sooo jealous! Your assessment is right on. You can now add clairvoyant to your list…and check it off.
Have had many of those random long hair things appear…always nice when friends or romantic partners find it first. Sigh.
The human body is weird…glad we’re redefining normal (though I wish it would hurry up so I don’t feel so weird).
Sometimes I’ll have an eyelash that instead of falling out, turns silver and keeps growing. And then it gets tangled in my other eyelashes and it’s all terrible.
I get the Wierd White Hair, but it’s on my cheek. In my experience, even after you tweeze it, it will grow back again in that same spot. Sometimes immediately, sometimes it will take a hiatus. So be vigilant.
Oh yeah, and does it get any worse than when someone goes “oh, you have a dog hair on your face” and then goes to pull it off and it IS ACTUALLY ATTACHED?!?!!?!!?
Thank god it only happened with my husband, who (by now) is totally used to my weirdness. But I still replay that awkward tug on my bottom lip, my eyes going wide with shock, and his absolutely inability to know HOW to react to the situation.
I have a mole in the back of my head, the middle, nestled snuggly under all of my hair. It grows a bit each year, so I comb over it, it bleeds (as though I don’t know it’s there.) I go to the dr and she says leave it; it’s not cancerous, just…growing. I go to the hairdresser, she combs over it, it bleeds (as though she too doesn’t know it’s there but I’ve been going to her for 5+ years.)
Seriously…. the post is awesome, but the comments here are the icing on the cake. Just the laugh I needed!
Jen,
I had one of those growing out the side of my ear for idn a couple of yrs until it went away. And it would pop out long and fully grown, just like the one on your forehead. Weird.
Janet
I get the white hair thingy on the back of my ear. It’s a bitch to remove and once I discover it’s there I MUST remove it IMMEDIATELY! Mine isn’t wispy though. It’s wiry and I hate it. It appears whenever it damn well pleases. I also get those horrible little black chin hairs. I prefer to call them stray eyebrows. That way I feel better about them being on my face. They belong, but they’re just a little bit lost. Ya know what I mean?
I have one eyelash on my left eye that likes to grow longer than all the rest. I trim it or else it looks like a loose eyelash and people try to grab it off. It fell out once and I thought Finally! It’s gone!
NOPE! It came back. Back to trimming. It’s thicker than others, too.
My husband and I were getting ready to go to the beach. I had him spray my back side with sunscreen. He’s like “ummm, WHAT IS THIS” I had a 6 inch GRAY hair coming out of my shoulder. He thought it was a loose hair..but it was attached!
I have a long white hair that grows out above my right eyebrow. It’s very thin and fine, but grows quite briskly. I first noticed it while I was in college. Since it’s thin and doesn’t really bother me and is almost invisible, I kind of let it do its thing. I figure that somewhere along the line, this bunch of skin cells were like ‘WE NEED TO BE A FOLLICLE! START MAKING HAIR’. Who am I to keep them from their dream? So I let it grow, because why not.
Once, when I was getting a haircut, the stylist wordlessly snipped it. He didn’t even miss a beat. He was just doing his snippy-snippy-snippy thing, then it was like “Oh. That shouldn’t *snip* be there” and on with the snipping. I tried not to react, but part of me was all “YOU CUT MY FREAK HAIR, NOW I’M JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE”.
But it did grow back eventually.
I think about this hair entirely too much.
(I love all of these comments but this one is a favorite. ~ Jenny)
I get weird long white hairs that grow on a few places on me – mostly upper arms and one on my stomach.
Weird body-ness – I’m hypermobile which means I can do a let of freaky things with bending my joints so it looks like I’m broken. I did a forward roll once and hit my head as I went and everyone thought I’d broken my neck but I just bend that way.
I have a large mole on my back that freaks one of my friend’s out – he thinks it looks like an eye!
Does it count as a horn if one randomly grows out of your chin… and it isn’t actually white? Please say yes….
This is why some women take Viagra – to help their limp unicorn hairs / horns…
My sister gets one just as you describe & our grandmother told her they were worry hairs! We’re you particularly worried about something? Maybe google worry hair!
I was shaving my legs in the shower and noticed on the back of my ankle a piece of hair. I naturally thought it was from my head, I proceeded to take it off. Imagine my surprise when I fucking hurt….because it was connected to my ankle! You are telling me I missed shaving the same exact spot long enough to allow a strand of leg hair an inch long?! I was so grossed out I didn’t tell anyone … until now.
P.S. I too recently realized that I am an unicorn. Giddy-up, bitches.
~ r.
The EXACT same thing happened to me when I was ten years old! Long white blond hair, ’bout two inches long grew overnight in between my eyebrows! what.the.frack.
At least now I know I’m not alone in my unicorn/circus freak -ness.
I had one of those mini bumps on the forehead might be a pimple, boil, ingrown hair or just a raised whatever. Well, managed to after a few minutes of squeezing and pressing and looking very closely to extract it. But as I did it seemed to be deep-rooted and did not want to let go. Yanked it and felt to grab on for dear life before withdrawing it. Examined it and almost sent it to a lab to have it analyzed. Now, if I pass someone on the street or mall I look and see if they might have one too (Look on the average passerby’s forehead, you’ll see it). Then I think to myself, now I cannot be tracked I removed the bio-electronic tracking device. I can move freely about my business. Ok, first few sentences are true. Let me be honest about that. The rest slightly exaggerated, but I still have the ziploc bag with the little bugger in it. Just in case.
About twice a year, my upper lashes become very short, and the lower lashes grow long. Its like they switch places. I mentioned it to my dr once and he looked at me like he was about to prescribe some anti-psychotics.
I get one of those in my left eyebrow and the back of my left arm. I’m one fucked up unicorn.
my friend and i call those “Wolfies.”
and yes, they appear magically over night. or at least I fucking they are coming out overnight because if i’ve been walking around with long scraggly hairs on my forehead, chin or shoulders – yes — shoulders – i’m feeling like i should just give up on life right now.
I have three words for you:
Recurring Chin Hairs
Getting older sucks
I can wiggle my ears, cross my eyes and touch my nose with my tongue…..all at the same time. Random, but that takes some real damn talent!!!
I have a somewhat small but totally noticeable birth mark right on the crease my inner thigh. My husband told me that the first time he saw it he thought I was just dirty, but after seeing it a few times he realized it was permanent, LOL.
Oh, I have lots of those…
White one on my forehead.
Two black ones on my chin.
A small white one on my cheek.
And don’t get me started on my nipples….
You are definitely not alone!
I’m pretty sure my dad is turning into Oswald from the Muppets. His eyebrows went crazy. He has hair growing out of everything except his head. He has to keep cutting his neck/chest hair because he looks like he is smuggling a troll doll in the collar of his shirt. It is hilarious to see.
Doesn’t everyone get the random 3 inch white hair somewhere? Mine is on my arm. My son has one on his jaw line. My daughter has one on her chin. My husband is hobbit hairy, so he could have 20 and we’d never know.
Directly above my left elbow, hidden in the formation of “skin” is a huge, solid, fat deposit. I guess that being right handed, I just don’t use my left arm enough to get it to leave. I also have one on the front if my calf (noo… the one that is part of my LEG..) but I have found that if I manipulate it A LOT – especially using my fingernails – I can get it to break up. This hurts like a Maternal Fork but it’s worth it to have nice calves, right? I mean, underneath all that unshaven leg hair there should be no fatty LUMPS hanging around. Am I right? …What? Oh puh-leeeze… Like you shave your legs just because.. Ohhh… right right right right riiiight…. OCD. I forgot.
xoxo, ~ Diane
Ummm, you’re not alone. But mine grow on my chest between the girls. So weird.
I have two auxiliary nipples and two spleens.
My 13 year old daughter had one on her cheek about a year or so ago. We cuddle every night and one night I touched her cheek and there it was. We screamed and giggled and freaked out before we plucked it. It hasn’t come back. She’ll be glad to see that other people do that, too. I didn’t even think to Google it!
I get a really long white hair growing out of the left side of my face. It also springs up virtually overnight. Mine isn’t even cool enough to be a burgeoning Unicorn horn. Sigh…
I may or may not have TOTES had this same experience with a white hair ON MY CHEEK. A week ago. Maybe. I’m still sticking with the “my SO glued it on while I was sleeping” theory.
My hair doesn’t grow on my forehead, it grows out of my neck.
Also my thumbs are double jointed.
I’ve gotten one of those on my right cheek. I totally freaked, thinking that this mutant hair had been growing for months without me noticing. I much prefer to believe that it showed up overnight.
Here’s something pretty fucked up. I have had two kids and even after I lose the weight, I have loose skin hanging in my lower abdomen. Unfortunately, one side of the loose skin hangs much lower than the other. WTF, right? Oh the joys of having children.
I THINK I might be a unicorn too. But I can’t tell you where the horn is unless it’s in private and we have one of those psychologist’s anatomically correct dolls.
Also, I’m 47, can still put both legs completely behind my head, climb and bounce on my butt off a high dive, unfold in midair and do a pike into a somersault dive.
At 35 and someone who found her first gray hair at 18 years old (yes I kid you not and my grandfather also grayed prematurely), I have lost count all the gray hairs on my head now. I just thank god for hair dye!!!
I always random, weirdly long hair between my boobs. Or a mutant eyebrow hair that manages to burrow in the other hairs, until one day I pluck it, and it’s inches long.
My darling partner gets a similar hair on the right side of her neck. I look for it constantly and I’ve lovingly named it George. The first time I noticed it was in the middle of a sidewalk in a small town square….and promptly removed it. She still swears to this day that this is the reason people were staring at us (though I’m going with the fact that we’re gay and small town folks are prone to staring anyway).
She says I’m the weird one for having a thing for personal grooming …but she’s the one with a hair that magically appears. I, mean..I’m JUST sayin!
I don’t understand why you say the hair grew out of “nowhere” when obviously it grew out of your forehead. Duh.
I really should not have been reading this when I was on hold for my son’s doctor…. Sharon tipped me over the edge.
I also have the smelly earhole thing. Hair follicle my ass. Being human is fun, no? It’s the whole human to magical beast thing that is difficult. Transitions are hard, but I’m glad you’re creating a support group.
You’re not alone….I found one of those too!!!! What a weird place for a hair to grow right!?!
In the moment after I sneeze, I am filled with rage. It subsides quickly, but is very real while it lasts. Other people’s sneezes irritate me, but my own sneezes are an anger trigger.
I have a lot of white hairs growing out of everywhere (sorry, TMI), and yet, I still have pimples – I mean LOTS of frickin’ pimples. It’s like my body can’t decide if I’m still a hormonal teen or a menopausal woman…and I’m 43. I’m so confused. http://bit.ly/WhBsQX
Your third eye grew a long, wise lash. Bravo!
I have several super-long hairs on the backs of my thighs. I don’t shave my upper legs because they’re not very hairy…except for these rogue hairs. It’s very hard to see the backs of your thighs (unless you’re some kind of contortionist, which I’m not) so I don’t notice them until I randomly scratch the back of my leg. The upside is I live in Washington where summer lasts about a minute so I hardly ever wear shorts.
Don’t feel bad Janine H.! I got my first gray at 16, and I’m 1/3 gray (and not even 30!).
My mom went completely gray somewhere between 35 and 40, although she dyed her hair so much I’m not exactly sure when. It’s pretty much the reason I’ve been dying my hair every color I can since I was young – I figure if I start now no one will suspect anything later :o)
I get the same thing every month or so but it grows out of my left earlobe. Overnight. Seriously freaky stuff. But it happens to all of us after a “certain” age (29).
When I read this, one name came into my mind: Ionesco. We may be at the beginning of a plague, here. Not to alarm you or anything.
I have no pinky toenail on my left foot. Makes pedicures interesting. Most of the time I just paint over the skin patch where the nail should be.
The idea of unicorns pooping rainbows has always upset me. Why would they do that?
You being a unicorn is a truth, embrace it… please do not poop rainbows please.
That is all
Welcome to the unicorn club! I’ve had the unicorn thing going on since I was 16. (Possibly earlier, but discovered at 16.) I’m 37 now, and it’s turned into a kick-ass Rogue streak, so X-Men fan-boys love me. Oh, and if you go to Taiwan or China, the teenagers there are obsessed with different colors of hair, and will be mesmerized by the streak as well. It’s pretty cool in a “OMG strange kids are touching my hair without permission” kinda way.
I have one that grows on my neck. It is very thin and transparent, so I usually don’t notice it until it gets to be four or five inches long. Then, I pull it out, and about a year later, it’s time to do it again. Been happening for several years now. I feel better knowing many other people have pet hairs.
Yup, I’ve had the Weird Long Lone White Facial Hair too, on my left cheek and also under my chin. They aren’t that visible so I often forget about them, but I do have one black hair coming out of my chin that gets plucked as soon as the tweezers have enough to grip. What’s freaking me out these days are the white hairs showing up elsewhere on my body amongst the regular dark hair, like in my eyebrows and eyelashes and *ahem* lady garden. It’s bad enough that I’ve had gray hairs popping up on my head since I was in my 20s, but these new locations really make me feel old!
I once discovered a 3″ hair growing out of the side of my boob. It wasn’t white, but it also wasn’t there before. It just sprung out suddenly. Has never happened again (I check regularly now because I’m petrified it’ll come back).
My husband has one eyebrow hair that is the entire length of his eyebrow. I try not to think about it, butsmetimes, when we get close, it catches my eye. If hubby catches me staring at it, it totally kills the mood bacause he knows I’m really just thinking about plucking it.
I have that, too! But I’m hairy everywhere–I have to shave my lower arms/hands/finger, my toes, and the bit right under my belly button. I think my real parents might have been apes.
I have the same problem! It’s been going on for a few years now. All of a sudden, there it is. I try to gross my husband out with it, but he’s caught on and now won’t look at me when I reach for my forehead.
I like your unicorn theory!
I use to get this one really thick hair on my left hand. It hasn’t been back in years but I still check. No one wants a strange hair in a strange place.
Oh yes, I, like Ashley above, also bruise way too easily.
One summer, after clambering about in the garden the day before, I went for my yearly checkup with my OB.
There I am, legs all a-splayed, and she looks up at at me and in so many words tries to ask me if I’m in an abusive relationship.
I was totally confused (1: this is happening while she’s about to go scavenging in my nether-regions and 2: we couldn’t have this conversation once I’m seated in an upright position???) When I finally realized what she was trying to ask me, I laughed out loud and said “what??? oh no, I was gardening” as if that totally cleared it up. Yes, the perils of gardening…
You really don’t want me to tell you the weird things about my body. Trust me.
One of my front teeth is a tiny bit crooked, so that when pictures are taken at the right (wrong) angle, the shadow cast by the flash makes it look like I’m missing a tooth. D:
Also, thank you for being so bold as to share your bodily oddity. It’s nice remembering that other people out there are normal, too.
My body is really really weird. I wish I was part unicorn xD No need to feel weird!!
I get two dark black hairs that pop out near my right nipple. I have to pluck them out about every three months.
Sad, cross-eyed nipples from breastfeeding two kiddos for approximately a year apiece.
Also, didn’t realize this until I started shaving, um, down there, when my husband and I were dating, but apparently I have a furry butt. Which is not fun to beautify.
Ignorance is bliss.
I have laser hair removal for those bad boys on my chin! Yes I do!
My crazy white hairs appear overnight on the left side of my chin. I blame cosmic rays.
An ex BF had a crazy eyebrow hair. He would be all fine and POOF there was a 2″ black curl coming out of his eyebrow.
I have the recurring lone chin hair, and reading this has reminded me I haven’t looked for it lately. That means it’s there, lurking. Crap.
I take rat poison on purpose. Seriously, it’s the same stuff they use to kill rats. I think about that a lot.
Sometimes, when I walk, if my foot falls JUST wrong, I just collapse to the ground. Not fall over. Crumple. Like my muscles are a rubber band and it just snapped. I’ve had no foot/leg issues in the past beyond this, and my response is always to pop back up and keep walking, as if that’s something everyone does.
I also get sudden forehead hairs. I keep meaning to maintain one and show it to my husband.
that reminds of my nephew.. he was about 10 years old and had a wild white unicorn hair growing in the centre of his forehead. I told him he was growing a third eye and if he plucked it out the eye would go blind. poor kid. he was freaked out for days. what a mean auntie i was. of course now he is wildly successful and rich, so, maybe a the threat of a third eye was just the motivation he needed to be a success. my unicorn hair grows out of my cheek. maybe that’s why i am poor and not successful. sigh.
While I have never had the honor of having a spontaneous forehead hair, I do have one that sprouts up on my belly! Also, you should know that rhino horns are made out of hair, so perhaps this is indeed the start of your unicorn horn. Perhaps leave it next time and see what happens?
I have one of these, only not in the center of my forehead. Mine is kinda off to one side of my forehead, about an inch or so from my hairline. It usually gets about an inch long before I notice it and pluck it. I haven’t figured out how to get rid of it entirely. I wonder why the only solution that gets noticeable results is plucking?
I like the unicorn theory. Besides that occasional wispy white hair growing between my eyebrows, I get short spikes that grow in the top of my head. They are really thick hairs that look like splinters. More than a few at once, and they give me a headache.
I have a spot on my back, just over my right shoulder blade, that’s about three inches across and I have no feeling there at all. Seriously, someone could stab me or press their finger there and I wouldn’t be able to tell the difference. Until the blood from the former action had dripped down far enough, that is.
Mingled within my normal eyebrow hairs are a sprinkling of massive Alpha Hairs. These bad-ass hairs are like wire, and stick out of my eyebrows like antennae. A regular clipping is needed to keep me from looking like two miniature hedgehogs are sleeping above my eyes.
I’m kind of sad that you plucked it.
Also, I used to have ONE hair on my left upper arm that would grow to outrageous lengths. When I first found it it was about four inches long. I plucked it, and the next time I noticed it it was a good two inches. For a few years it kept coming back, and then I guess I plucked it enough times that it went away.
You totally should’ve taken a picture!
My sister once pulled a long white hair out of the center of my neck. Every year when it returns, I pluck it, tape it to an index card, and send it to her.
My husband has a single white hair that grows out of the side of his head – right in the middle of his temple. I think his unicorn horn is a little confused. And it’s not straight, it curls.
I have thumbs that are too short. If you google “Megan Fox thumbs”, that is what mine look like. That’s about the only trait that Megan and I share. My thumb nail is about half the length of any of my other nails. Stupid thing is is that my Mom never noticed it. I had to point it out to her one day when I was in my 20’a. That’s what happens when you are the last child in a large family.
I have that too, only it grows underneath my right eye. It’s in the middle of my baggage, and it’s so whispy thin that it seems clear. I’m red headed. The hair pulls put easily. I’ve plucked it 3 or 4 times. I’ve also found one on the side/bridge of my nose once! WTF?!?!?!
I went to high school with a guy who had a 3 inch hair growing out of his forehead. I’m not sure if it was white but it was very light in color for sure. He showed everyone, thought it was cool. We all thought it was both amazing and funny.
So…you’re saying you’re a unicorn?
Pulling that hair out may have irrevocably diminished your burgeoning unicorn-y powers! DAMMIT!
If you are a unicorn, you are most definitely NOT a jerk.
I chopped off part of my clitoris when I was shaving.
No kidding.
To answer your question, yes, it stung like a bitch.
This is, hands down, my favorite internet thread of all time.
I had scarcely finished reading the words “message boards” when I immediately opened a new tab and launched my own investigation. Scanning down the comments section of the topix.com one I noticed one person referenced finding one on their left BUTT CHEEK. Sooo… yeah, I would say there IS someone out there more OCD than you.
I got an ingrown hair on my bikini line when I was young and uninsured, so I just kinda left it alone and it got weird and swollen and (probably) infected, so I treated it like a whitehead and drained it. All better. Only now (still) there is a weird little divot there in my flesh, like a chuck is missing. It’s about the size of an M&M (regular, not peanut).
Mine grows out of my cheek. It has a darker cousin that grows out of the side of my neck. I hate them with a purple flaming passion.
I have Velociraptor toenails. But in reverse, because it’s NOT my big toes, just all the others – they grow normally (i.e. flat) for about the first 1/8″, then do a 90 degree turn and grow straight up. I swear, if I left them like that, I’d be deadly playing leapfrog.
PS- if I ever grow a unicorn hair, I’m going to gel, mousse, and hairspray it STRAIGHT OUT!
I had about a 3/4″ white hair growing out of my cheek one morning. And it was super-sized! Like the circumference of 5 regular hairs. That is definitely what you want to see when you get up to put makeup on for work. NOT. I wasn’t even 30 then. **cries** I can’t even be a unicorn. I’m just a cheekicorn.
I get a single blonde hair on each side of my forehead. Those must be pre-demon horns if your unicorn theory is correct. I also get a stray one next to my nose or on my chin. Perhaps I’m simply hairy.
My immediate thought when I read the title of this post was “because you’re turning into a unicorn!”
Congratulations on coming to the correct conclusion. Now, can you grant me wishes?
Awesome unicorn lady !! My middle fingers are twisted and bend outwards at the tips.. Like at a 30 degree angle. Its freakish. So in relation, a hair that you can pluck aint so bad 😉
Rhino horns are made out of hair, so I think you are right on the money!
This literally happened to me the other day for the first time. WTF is it???
I have cysts on my ovaries, which doesn’t bother me. It mostly means I don’t get periods all that often, and I’m all for that. But it also means I have a bit more testosterone in my body, and have to pluck random dark black stubble from my chin and lip.
So sexy…
Random magically blossoming 3-inch long hair? Check. I also have a mole right at the top of my butt crack. I’ve always speculated that it looks like a tiny nose and my butt crack the mouth of a dog. So, I have a cartoon butt.
I have weird crooked peanut toes on both feet. The fourth toe on each is just curled over to the side, reaching for that third toe like nobody’s business. They’re not cute in flip flops. I don’t care. I once had a really long eyebrow hair too. I was sitting at the ACTs when I noticed it. It’s kind of awkward to pluck a two-inch eyebrow hair while everyone else is frantically trying to solve math problems. Took me five minutes to do the math section. It’s called guessing and filling in random answers.
I’m pretty sure my car totally thinks I’m fat. Because when I put my seatbelt on (while traveling down the road at 50 mph) I realized that the seatbelt was caught in the door, so I had to use every last inch of that belt to get it buckled until I could get to a stoplight and open the door. And it was really tight. My car’s seatbelt has never had ever last inch used, so I’m pretty sure it was laughing at me.
I have that as well, and have had it since I was about 12. One long white hair growing out of my forehead just above my right eyebrow. I remember going to the orthodontist and the girl who was working on my teeth said, “Look! This girl has a white hair growing out of her forehead! Just one white hair!” And the other five technicians in the office crowded around to see, and I felt like I was a freak in a freak show, because you always feel that way when you’re 12 anyway.
Nice to know I’m in good company.
No wait, scratch that.
My husband has one of those in his eyebrow. Every now and then it pokes him in the eye.
I know, not really fair, because you asked for something about me…. I have a red freckle right in the middle of my nose. I can’t even blame it on WCFields-scale intoxication — I just scratched my nose and it scarred. I call it my Rudolf spot and I hate it.
Pregnancy has made me grow a small beard under my chin. It is not white and it is not sexy. I wish they were unicorn hairs, would make it way more bearable.
Growing up I had two very unfortunately placed “bumps”. Moles I guess but not freckle colored. One was directly between my eyes on the bridge of my nose. The other directly center on the back of my neck. My sister used to tackle me and press them both simultaneously to try and take off my head like a vacuum cleaner attachment. Once I was 18 and on my own medical insurance I had them removed. So my head doesn’t come off anymore.
Currently 19 weeks pregnant and I have these big ass varicose veins covering my lady parts. I look like I’m growing a purple fishtail out of my crotch. Maybe I’m becoming a mermaid!
I love all you people. Thank you. I don’t feel so alone now in my ex-tonsil stones and bizarre single chin hair that springs up overnight. I always imaged I felt awfully tired on the mornings when I discovered that bad boy .
And thanks to Paige, I now know have something new to be afraid of — tonsil stones.
I was born with what is called a preauricular pit on both sides of my head. Birth mark of sorts…used to stick earrings in it and freak out my friends telling them it was a hole straight to my brain. Good times.
Had them surgically removed when I was about 18 or so as they started getting infected. I kinda miss my head holes.
Keith: “Alpha hairs”! I *love* it! That’s the best description of those kinds of hairs, ever
I have random face hairs like that, too. I’m constantly finding new ones.
I also have freak toes. My big toes look pretty normal, but as the toes descend toward my pinky toe, the toenails grow more and more up instead of out. By the time you get to my pinky toe, the toenails grow perpendicular to the ground. At a 90 degree angle. And my toes are short and fat and so the toenail is sort of smooshed up in there with all my toe fat up against it. The people at the nail salon have to pry my toe fat back to paint it, all the while looking at me oddly and laughing. They only let me come back because I tip well.
I have one black whisker on my cheek. I’m OCD about it too, terrified I will not notice it and pluck it before someone else notices it. It’s a sneaky little bastard. Just like you said, it’s not there, then next thing you know the damn thing is inches long. Sometimes it won’t be there for months, then as soon as my guard is down it shoots out. I like your theory. And I’m always telling my cat I wish I was a cat so I could lay around and be responsible for nothing. Maybe I’m turning into a cat. That would be awesome. Except I would have to rely on my husband to feed me, so I will probably starve to death. And I’ll have to lick myself and puke up hairballs. Not to mention lick my ass which I’m sure taste like shit because I won’t be able to wipe my ass anymore. This always happens to me. I wish for something to happen, then it happens and THATs when I rationalize the pros and cons. Damn it.
I get hellishly ingrown hairs. They snake their way under the surface of my skin and end up being 2-3 inches long when they finally get tweezed out. It’s horrifying.
PAIGE! (#18) Holy Frak. I thought I was the only one who had to deal with these things! Tonsilloliths. Wow. (Relieved sigh) I’ll just keep swabbing them out with a qtip, then.
See, Bloggess? You’re helping so many people feel like part of a community. A bodily-function-observant community. In a good way.
I have one, but it’s on the side of my nose. I was pissed someone didn’t tell me, I mean it had to have been growing in public this whole time! It comes back. I call it my “Witchy Hair”.
Were you hungrier than usual when you woke up? It seems like that level of growth would take a lot of energy. You should have lost weight during the night.
At the very least you should get free pancakes for breakfast to replenish after the growth burst.
Be safe.
Eat pancakes. Or bacon.
Or a steak.
Maybe, just to be safe – eat all of that.
I hate when they magically appear on my chest. So I guess my dad was right, eating onions puts hair on your chest!
I have a third nipple. I cannot wait for when I have my first child to see if milk comes out of it. If it does, I will probably cry.
I have a weird whisker like hair that grows out of my ear… seriously feels like a cat whisker. Grows about once a month out of nowhere. Well… same spot in my ear…
My weird, suddenly long white hairs don’t sprout on my forehead. They grow suddenly and disturbingly out of my right nostril. There’s only ever one, and it’s always freakishly long and curly. And it hurts like a mother to pluck, so I use little manicure scissors to snip it off.
Bodies are weird, man.
I’ve had an ingrown hair under my right breast since I was 5. I used to think it was a third nipple and was freaked that I was going to grow 3 breasts. And a very hairy one. It took me to about 20 before I finally asked a doctor about it.
I have a super thick black hair that grows out of a mole on my back. I don’t know it’s there until it gets really long and then since it’s on my back, I have to get someone else to yank it out. So now my husband and my daughter know there’s a witch mole complete with gross hair on my back.
I have OCD as well, and throughout my entire recent pregnancy, my linea nigra (line running down the center of the belly, for those not in the know) was crooked! It drove me nuts the ENTIRE TIME. I can’t tell you how many times I sat there trying to line it up straight by squishing my belly skin :p
My husband has had incredibly long hairs appear in the middle of his forehead twice. It’s crazy!
He also once had an incredibly long cat hair get lost in his nose. It was in there long enough it built up a decent layer of mucus so when I went to pull it out (I just thought it would tickle a little) he almost fell over. He turned and looked at me and said “I felt that in my BRAIN!” and when he pulled it out it was about 2-3 inches long. So gross!!
I have a small third nipple under my left breast.
Okay. At first I was all “hahahahah” and then I was all “I’m totally going to vomit and I am going to stop eating my grapes now.”
But the reason I am writing is to share with you that HORNS are made of the same protein as HAIR! So you totally should’ve left it, because it absolutely was the beginning of a unicorn horn! Next time, put it into a tiny bun, and no one will notice. It’ll be awesome when you’re a unicorn!
Add another to the list of people with 3 inch long white hairs that come from nowhere – mine appears on my chest from time to time. Looks like there’s enough material here to start some sort of medical research group…
I had a hair that grew into a surgical incision and the incision healed with the hair in it (don’t ask). When I went to pull it out, it came out of the follicle side but not the scar side. I had to clip it with nail clippers and now it looks like a teeny tiny black dot in the middle of the scar. Super gross. I’d rather have a hair on my forehead. At least when you plucked it, it went away.
Yes, I have the same ailment. I have to do a sideways, wonky head angle to see it so I can pluck it. It grows really fast too.
I also have a mole that has one hair that comes out of it…and when I pluck it, it’s got to be three inches long. Which makes me wonder how far down that puppy is.
I have one that grows out of my cheek. i can only see it in the sunlight tho, so it gets suuuper long before i notice it
PS, it got a little swollen when I was nursing my daughter but no milk ever came out. 🙁
Also, reading this thread reminds me of the time my (future, at the time) mother-in-law made me tweeze errant hairs from her cheek. Okay. Barfing up grapes, now
One grows out of my right cheek (face, not the other kind!) and one by the left side of my belly button. I never see them until they are grotesquely long. One grows out of my husband’s left eyelid. We are all freaks; you are not alone!
I’ve been told its normal and just the natural shape of my forehead, but I have two bulges on opposite sides of my head that had my convinced when I was in high school that I am part triceratops. I tried telling my mom (who is a strict creationist and not evolutionist) that I missed some important genes in evolution, but she dismissed me. To this day I refuse to wear a pony tail or any other hair style that requires my forehead to be uncovered and open to show my families lack in evolution.
Every couple of months I get a chest hair. Just one. I’m not talking overgrown peach fuzz either, an honest to god manly chest hair. I’ve decided to withhold my alarm unless balls come in with it.
I get those.
In the middle of my forehead, or in one of my ears (both get them) or on one of the spots on my back. Luckily I can reach both spots. Oh, and exactly one has come from my elbow.
I honestly have gotten them so many times it’s become a thing. I check those places most days, and find hair maybe twice a month? I can’t really see them though, so I just sit there pinching around the areas and pulling my fingers outwards. Just in case.
The ear ones are the unpleasant ones, since you can hear them vibrating when you find them and pull them.
Oh and I’m only in my twenties (and got these in my mid-teens) so everyone rest assured, this is not a sign of aging. Just weirdness.
I have those same hairs. But one grows by my eye and the other on my chest. They’re random. And now I feel left out because I have two but neither grows out of my forehead so I don’t get to be a unicorn…
Welcome to the secret unicorn club. woohoo
You are most definately NOT alone. It’s bad enough that I started getting gray hairs at the ripe old age of 3, and be half gray by my mid 20s and I can definately deal with the rogue course jet black hair that randomly pops up on my chin, but what the shit is up with the long hair that gets fucking LONGER when I pull it out of my cheek? It’s like a cruel attempt at a magic trick and I am not amused.
Limp unicorn horn?… I think they make a pill for that.
I get the same exact thing – but it grows in the middle of my cleavage. My husband originally found it. I look for it often but it only appears occasionally. And just like you, it appears quickly. A few Fridays ago I looked for it, and didn’t find it. Then the next day I was out to dinner with my girlfriends wearing a slightly low cut top. My friend thought I had a cat hair on me, so she pulled it. The hair was attached. It was my special hair. Who I have named Roxanne. She is magical and comes and goes as she pleases. I’m hoping she shows up tonight, a special delivery for my husband on Valentine’s Day.
http://www.simplyintheflavor.com
Well.. I have two thick, red beard-like hairs growing underneath my chin. I have to pluck them a few times each month. Maybe I am turning into Gimli?
My niece has one blue eye and one brown eye which is totally awesome. I have a perforated septum, which usually is the result of using cocaine over a long period of time, but, in my case, isn’t. And, yes, the odd hairs will only multiply as you age.
I have a golf-ball sized bump along my hairline above my right eye. My husband jokes all the time that it is a horn trying to poke through. No idea how I got it; have had it as long as I can remember. Constantly trying to hide it under my hair. Wish I could pluck it out!
Yeah… I have a thin white hair that gross out of the left side of my nose. Every time I tell people about it they all say the same thing. “What? A hair on your nose? Like a witch?”
I wish. That would be a lot cooler than a random white hair growing out of my nose. I let it grow once. No magic powers. It just got long enough that I could see it without a mirror.
Okay yes I have the same unicorn hair thing on my forehead. I have various other hairy parts that are not really something I want to be hairy, hormones are a bitch. The thing that helps me keep somewhat positive is after menopause the hair stops growing on your legs and underarms. At least that is what my grandmother tells me.
I always get hair on my boobs, just around the areola. Not sexy.
Oh, and I also have a weird smell in my nose. It’s like a cross between the furnace going on for the first time in the fall, maple syrup and nail polish remover. I suspect cancer.
1. Single, inch-long coarse black hair just below belly button. Super sexy. 2. Must shave tops of feet and big toes so as not to be mistaken for a hobbit. 3. Nipple hairs (blush). Seriously, wth?? I’m a girl for chrissakes.
For years I had the very gross job of shaping my grandmother’s eyebrows — and she always had me pluck her chin hairs while I was at it. Scarred me for life over body hair.
I have a thin white hair that grows out of my eye lid. It hangs into my eye and I go crazy looking to find the cat hair that must be bothering me. Then I realize it’s my eyelid hair.
To add insult to injury, it’s hard to pluck out because I have to close one of my eyes to get to it!
I hope this makes you feel better about your forehead hair. (I get those too.)
I think that posts like this without pictures is the first step in getting one’s blog taken away. It’s like you’re not even trying.
OH. MY. GOD. Never mind the mustache, the chin hair and ok even finding a white pubic hair (at 30! What?!) I woke up the other morning and found a white hair ON MY CHEST. Like 2 inches long.
From what you and others have said clearly there’s a malevolent White Hair Fairy fucking with us.
I’ve had a long, thin, white hair coming out of the left side of my forehead. My dad gets it coming out of the right side of the bridge of his nose. Did you ever read the book “The Fairy Rebel”? In there, a girl whom was conceived with help from a fairy has magic hairs that grow out of her head and she can pluck them and make magic things happen. Maybe this is what we’re experiencing. Does your mom believe in fairies?
one hair, grows out of my cheek until its a couple inches long and I notice it. The only reason this is strange is I’m one of those uncommonly hairless people – I’ve been accused of shaving my arms because there is so little hair on them. (I don’t).
I have a single dark hair growing out of a mole on my arm. I pull it out, and it comes back every time.
So no, you are not alone, but at least you have the consolation of being part unicorn. I just have a freaking hair growing out of a mole.
This happens to me ALL THE TIME. It different places. But my favourite was out of the middle of my stomach.It’s a weird situation but you’re not alone!
I have the “usual” weird hairs in odd places, but what baffles me the most are normal hairs in normal places that suddenly do something they aren’t supposed to. I have straight hair. Not even a curling iron and a can of hairspray will get my hair to curl. But every once in a while, I’ll get a cluster of single-strand spiral curls sprouting from the top of my head. Three or four, like little manic springs. A few days later, they are nowhere to be found.
For some reason, after I drink coffee, my pee smells like coffee. It’s like a Starbucks up in the crapper after I’m done in there. I’ve asked several doctors about it, and they all look at me like I need major meds. Also, after my mastectomy, I have one nipple that has sort of slid downward on my boob and just hangs out there – doesn’t matter how cold I am, that bad boy has no response. It sort of looks like a frowny old man. Oh, and I have this one capillary in my left eye that forms a perfect spiral, like a little cinnamon bun. My optometrist giggles about it every year, and my hubs sometimes yells “Look up!” just so he can see it.
I get dog hairs stuck in the skin of my foot – and I can’t walk on my foot until I get it pulled out. Hurst like a big ole huge rusty needle with apple cider vinegar on it. Or I think that must be how it would feel since I have never had an apple cider vinegar laced needle in my foot.
Happy VD day….. Valentines day, you know, I just like calling it VD day for the shock. I’m 47 and still like those childhood pranks.
I had one grow out of the side of my nose. Just like you. One day not there and then BAM next day inch long white hair growing out of the side of my nose up by my eye. The only thing missing was a nice big witches wart! Plus side was once I plucked it it never came back.
Forehead, eyebrow extension, and neck white hairs, all random, all overnight. All creepy as shit.
AND, one single brown, upward-facing, neck beard hair. I pull it, it starts regrowing immediately. Apparently, my tomboy ways have forced the smallest microbeard. Guess I need to wear pink more often.
limp unicorn horns (since that’s what we’re calling them now) suck and i hate them. but, mine have not yet grown out of my FOREHEAD. usually they are in my eyebrows? masquerading as normal eyebrow hairs??? so, i’m less unicorn than you? what the fuck? and why? my sympathies, bloggess. it won’t get better.
I woke up one day and had a ginormous blue vein running down the center of *my* forehead! Not something you can pluck! I mean, I guess you could but there is a risk of dying. Julia Roberts has kind of a veiny forehead, but on her it works somehow.. She looks like a thoroughbred pony. In a good way.
One single solitary white hair that grows on my back (kinda like on my flank). Freaked the f out when I found it the first time. Now I know if it starts itching it is long enough to yank out. My husband doesn’t even know about this. I’ve named the hair Rodrigo. Thanks for letting me share my secret.
Omigod. 30 comments in and I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. This is fabulous! And oddly comforting. 🙂
Asking an OCD person what’s weird about their body is sort of cruel. The question is, what is not weird about my body… well you asked, so:
– my eyes are not symmetrical, so my right eye is way more in-set than the left one, to the point that people think I have a lazy eye, and my eyeshadow creases only on one side
-i’m so white i’m practically albino and can’t tan, only burn
-i have hairs that grow on my face too, but they grow coarse like whiskers, so they bug the hell out of me and I have to pluck them the second I can grab them with tweezers
-my skin looks like a raw plucked chicken, with little tiny bumps all over, and you can pick at these bumps if you really wanted to – it takes great strength for me not to
-I have moles all over, but one particularly large raised one (wart-like?) right beside my “lady-parts” – gonna be a nice surprise for the next male that comes a-callin’
-I have eczema on my feet, and hammer toes
Pfft, and you’re upset about one hair! It’s just your sexiness oozing out… too much in one night and it all started to sneak out through your hair.
Because you have made me feel less alone, I share this story with you publicly. At work, I was looking in the mirror tying my hair back into a pony tail. And there was one stubborn hair that I couldn’t get to tie back. When I tried to pick this stray hair off my chin I realized I couldn’t because IT WAS ATTACHED. To my chin.
A long black chin hair, discovered midday at work, which was long enough to pull back into a ponytail.
Mind you, I have friends and family and even people who I was fond of at work that I saw that day – yet no one said a damn thing.
The only reason my boyfriend got a pass is he screamed, “NOT HARRIET!” when I told him the story about why I was crying and tearing the house apart for tweezers when I got home. I haven’t been right since.
I had to share this post with my husband who is at work. (I like to try and make him snort while laughing so he gets funny looks from co workers. Im a special kind of asshole) Any hoo, this was his response:
She should let it go. Wouldn’t she have magic and stuff? Of course then Victor would be like
“Charlie…Charlie…Let’s go to candy mountain!” And she would get all pissed cause it would be annoying. So it’s probably better to pluck it.
Just in case you don’t know the reference….
http://youtu.be/_yJCNNwHUOE
I have two extra nipples. On my stomach. For the longest time I thought they were just moles, until my dermatologist informed me that they are in fact vestigial nipples. I have come to embrace them, but it does make you feel like you haven’t made it quite as far up the evolutionary ladder.
My mom barely has eyebrows or eyelashes, and she’s a brunette with green eyes and dark skin. I am a pasty, blue-eyed blonde. There are a lot of blue-eyed blondes in the family tree, but they all seem to have the melanin I lack.
On my father’s side, they’re all dark-eyed brunettes with dark complexions. Sicilians.
The only thing I got from my father’s family is a preponderance of blonde fur. My eyelashes are long, my eyebrows thick, my body hair dense. If I weren’t blonde, I would frighten small children. Thankfully, I am blonde.
I refer to my neck area as ny nanny goat scruff. The thick, plush, wooly white hairs that grow there are terrifying.
I’ve got one that is black and grows out the side of my knee. In the immortal words of Wayne Campbell:
I’m a little older and a little wiser.
I’m starting to get hair in really weird places.
I feel like I’m turning into Sasquatch.
That’s life!
Every couple of months, I’ll be brushing my hair and the brush will catch and my ear will hurt. Then I’ll know it’s time to brush my hair straight back away from my ear, call my husband into the bathroom, and resign myself to 1/2 hour of “HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE A SIX INCH WHITE HAIR GROWING OUT OF YOUR EAR.” Then he plucks it, and we are able to resume eye contact within four to six hours.
I have a recurring hair, one hair, that grows to the left of my left nipple. I pull it out, and all of a sudden one day it’s back.
Right upper-arm. Above my lip. I’m unaware of others.
Please let there be no others. Or if there are, let them migrate to my forehead.
A few years ago I discovered a very thick, black hair growing from my side, just above my waist line. I pluck it out, it comes back. It reminds me of “The Fly” for some reason. Anywho, I refer to it as my side pube. You are welcome.
It get mysterious white hairs popping out of the side of my thigh. I usually pluck it, i wonder if i left it there if it would turn into a horn. It would be weird to have a horn coming out of my leg.
actually have this same problem but it grows out of my upper left cheek!! but I first discovered it when i was 7 years old!! they do grow back but very sporadically and infrequently. Mine has come back only three times the last 20 years. what the shit jenny your only JUST NOW finding your magic hair?
As you can see, it happens to everyone, and all our friends and colleagues are dicks for not clueing us in.
And I have a long dark hair that grows on the side of one of my ears. Like an old man hair. I am fucking vigilant about that damn hair.
I went to my doctor to have a mole looked at/removed because the edges were all light and funny and irregular and hello! Cancer! It below my boob just right of my sternum and he looked at it and then he said he wouldn’t remove it because he thinks it’s a nipple! A vestigial nipple, which makes no sense because dogs and pigs have rows of nipples, not primates so apparently I’m a highly evolved dogpig, not a chimp like everyone else. Also, I still have my mole-nipple-cancer and no one will take it off.
So you can feel better about your physical proof of leadership of the Unicorn Success Club, because no matter how hard I google there is no Dogpig nipplecancer success club. I feel so excluded.
I have one that grows out of my right shoulder blade. I’ll feel a tickle and go to scratch my back…feel the hair that I ASSUME fell off my head, and then pull it and feel it tug. It grosses me out every time. It’s like a clearish white and always like 2-3 inches. Where does it come from?!!?
My husband and I both get them. We call them mutant hairs, but I like the unicorn idea too. I’d rather be mutating into a unicorn than the abominable snowman.
Also, our kids are screwed.
All of these responses are leaving me in tears from laughing so hard….now I have to go pee..
When I was 16 I had all but two of my teeth knocked out in a car accident. The dentist said that I had to wait for the swelling in my gums to go down before he made impressions for dentures. When I went back to get the impressions made I had new teeth growing. It took about 6 weeks and a lot of pain, but I grew a third set of teeth. Not nearly as need as the unicorn thing.
Awesome, I can’t even do Unicorn right… because my long white hair appears under my right eye! So, not only will the regular people shun me, but so will the unicorn people.
Well, now you WON’T become a unicorn because you PULLED YOUR HORN OUT!!! GEEZ!
If it does come back I vote you keep it attached and we wait a year to see if it becomes a unicorn horn.
I got that once. It was a weird, freaky spindly hair. I think it’s what happens when follicles die. I yanked that sucker out, it was so weird!
Been there, plucked that. One time I had a horn like “thing” growing out of my forehead that I plucked as well. It reminded me of a cat’s claw (like from a feline not that prickly bush). Since the cats are locked out of the bedroom at night I knew it wasn’t one of them embedding their claw in me and walking off.
Coincidence? I think not. Today’s LivingSocial daily deal is for 6 hair removal sessions — you can “Bless Your Skin with Silky Smoothness.” It’s an 89% savings … only six days left to take advantage of the deal ….. If I can get three friends to buy the deal, I get it for free … We’re all friends here, right?
I have a ninja hair that grows out of my left lower jawline.
It’s completely colorless. I can only nab it if I feel it, and hopefully I haven’t been unaware of it for too long and can tweeze it before it’s super long.
I always ticks me off because it’s A FREAKIN’ NINJA HAIR.
My husband had an extra (meaning, totally one more than he was supposed to have) tooth that grew out of the very middle of his top palette. So, thanks to you, I now realize that he was just an inside-out unicorn and I will proceed to tell all of our friends this amazing fact. Cool!
OMG, this post is cracking me up!! I have one grey (white) eybrow hair that seems to appear overnight, and sticks out like your unicorn hair. I’m perpetually plucking it. And my husband has a recurring long black hair on the side of his nose. He looks like a catfish.
I have rorschach test freckles on the inside of my elbow. There are four of them – two on each side, and when I bend my elbow they match up almost exactly. When I bend my arm, I like to think that they’re kissing, but I’m a freckle romantic like that.
Whatever you do, do NOT look up Cutaneous Horn syndrome
I have one that grows out of my cheek. Stupid unicorn horn coming out the wrong place…
A few weeks ago I thought I had a pimple on my forehead and it freaked me out because I’ve never really had acne, but when I investigated the situation further (read: popped it) it turned out to be an ingrown hair, which is far worse. So I think I probably should have had a three-inch white hair in my forehead, but instead took the weirdness to a whole new level.
When I was a teenager I had this weird SUPER thick hair come out on my upper arm. Naturally I plucked that motherfucker. IT BRUISED! I had a three inches dark blue bruise from plucking a fucking hair.
My thumbs? Two different shapes. Entirely different. One is short and has this crazy wide nail The other? Normal and a good quarter inch longer than the other one.
I once stressed myself out so much that I gave myself weird itchy foot blisters INSIDE my feet. I looked this up and it is something called pompholyx. It is horrible. It makes you look like your feet are made of itchy Swiss cheese with very tiny holes. If you pop the blisters you will be SORRY because they leak fluid and itch even motherfucking more, which you would not think is possible, but it is. The only thing to do is wait until the little fuckers go away, since there is no help for it other than using a bunch of anti-itch creams. I got a ton of athlete’s foot cream and finally I found one that worked. GOD that sucked. Stress is a bitch, yo. I’ve never had it before or since *bangs on wood*. I’d take rogue hairs any day over that.
i have a really hard white hair that grows out of the side of my face near where a guy might have sideburns (i’m a girl, no sideburns). like 2 inches below my hairline in front of my ear. i usually catch it before it gets really long, but it’s oddly thick, hard, and colorless :-/
Ooooo, I’ve got you beat. I get a three inch long hair that grows out of my nose. I pluck it and the fucking bastard always grows back in a few weeks. It’s like that ex boyfriend in college that kept stalking me.
I have one that grows high on my cheekbone. It is very thin and fine.
You were right. I googled long white hair on face and there are a lot of posts. Not that I didn’t believe you, just wanted to read for myself.
We are not alone.
Wow, it’s amazing that all these people have similar hair instances and yet only three sites.
*YOU* need a site that shows up under the search – Am I turning into a unicorn? because I can promise this is the most traffic a possible unicorn mention, has ever received.
My weird body share – I get clear pubic hairs. Or I did until laser hair removal.
Also, I have inverted nipples.
Love that people on here are so honest and willing to share.
Love you people.
I had a short white wire feeling hair 9well i think that’s what it was) growing out of my arm. I had to struggle to pull it out of my arm for a while and when I did it was about 1/2 inch long and the bottom was double the width and shaped like a candle stick holder. I seroiusly almost passed out in class. It didn’t seem natural. I think it was a locator that I pulled out and now the aliens cant find me. 🙂 I also have the white whispy hair that shows up out of the blue on my check.
While I was pregnant, I got this weird purplish blotch between-under my boobs. I thought it was a random bruise or something. This was close to two years ago AND IT NEVER WENT AWAY. Stupid unsexy blotch.
My hubby has a coarser longer red hair in his dark brown eyebrows. We named it Manny. Sometimes Manny gets plucked because he is too rogue and stabs me in the face. But Manny always comes back.
Found one on my earlobe last week. More like one-inch, but still.
it’s one of those days when i came here to be reminded that depression lies.
i have a hair that grows out one side of boob.
One little hair? I have feet that are so flat that after I get out of the shower, make “kissing”noises because they suction themselves to the floor for a second. High heels are out of the question…..I look like Daisy Duck with them on.
As the Grateful Dead said. “Oh well a touch of gray, kind of suits you anyway.”
I have Exploding Head Syndrome, also known as hypnagogic auditory hallucination syndrome. In which I hear something akin to tessla coils exploding in my head when I’m trying to sleep. But they aren’t real sounds and no one else can hear them. I can also FEEL them and they make a bright flash of light go off behind my eyelids. Seriously, look it up. Feel better?
I have pretty quick growing chin hair. Which is quite distressing as a 25 year old girl. I gather that it’s not entirely uncommon, but I still dislike it quite a bit. There’s a small part of me, sometimes, that wants to just let it grow to see how long it would get, but it would make for a really awkward looking beard.
I am 34. I have had “grey” (grey my ass…they’re white) hair coming in since I was 21. And it’s not like it’s in like one streak like Rogue from the X-Men either. Yeah, I have a streak… it grows right in the middle of my head. Just the middle. No where else, nothing. I look like a skunk. I’m NOT KIDDING. Especially with me dying my hair borderline black these days… verified complete and total skunk.
Thankfully, once they start coming in, I can just stop parting my hair down the middle and part it off to the side, call my stylist and get some relief. I don’t think I could live without my stylist at this point…
You want weird? I’ve got weird!
One day, I noticed a small twinge of pain in the ball of my left foot when I walked around the house. On examining it, I saw a small black spot.
I figured I had stepped on something like a splinter, so I made an effort to remove it. To my surprise, when I got to it with tweezers and pulled, out came a thick, black hair, about 2 inches long, with kinks in it from where it had folded back on itself under my skin.
I felt a small tug when I pulled it free – clearly, it had actually grown from the bottom of my foot. As you did with your unicorn hair, I googled, and found that a surprisingly large number of people had also found long, black, in-grown hairs on the soles of their feet.
My next question – if your white hair on your forehead makes you a unicorn, what does the black hair on my foot make me? I’m too tall to be a hobbit!
You are not alone! I have one of those that grows out of the left-center of my forehead randomly. Its not there for months and then, suddenly, *poof* its there. Of course, my wife finds this hilarious and attempts to pluck it from my face when I am not paying attention. On my side, I am a little scared to remove it b/c I figure that is probably like a hydra and 3 more hairs will grow back for every one plucked.
Oh, where to begin. The hairy toes that need to actually be shaved in the summer? I could shave them in the winter, too, but really, why? Or there are the eyebrows that would grow clear down to my eyelids if I didn’t pluck every other day. But I’ve saved the best for last – I have to clip my pubes about once every three weeks. I swear to all the gods who ever were that if I didn’t I’d have a dread (because I sure as hell am not going to comb them) on each side hanging to my knees by now. I clip off at least an inch a month. If the hair on my head grew as fast as my eyebrows and pubes I could make a living off growing it out and selling it for wigs. I suppose I could always grow the pubes out and sell them, but…..
I have a heart shaped uterous. And my ears don’t line up so my glasses sit lopsided on my face. Thank goodness for contact lenses.
The comments are coming in so fast I can’t keep up!
These are hilarious! I can’t stop laughing. My favorites are #69 and #120…I stopped keeping track after that.
I have rogue hairs in moles and skin tags in weird places, but I don’t have any nasal hair what-so-ever. Never have…it’s natural to have hair in one’s nose. Without it, all kinds of junk gets sucked up there when we breathe. I am constantly sneezing and comforting a runny nose. Everyone thinks I perpetually sick. I want nose hair.
Okay, here’s my weird thing. Several years ago, I tripped over my brother’s now deceased dog while she lay in dark hallway. I had been telling my mother that I couldn’t see well in the dark and it took this incident to finally convince her to put a night light in the hallway. I plunged head-first into the bathroom door frame so hard that a chunk of wood came out. After this incident, I had a dent in my forehead, which I still have almost 4 years later. About a month after, a film of downy white hair started growing in the dent, which is just to the left of my forehead, about an inch below the hairline. My smart-ass brother said it’s was evolution’s way of protecting my skull, by growing downy hair in the dent to protect my brain. So now I have to shave the dent AND I keep my hair cut in bangs all the time.
My ‘Lil Miss sees the white hair in my goatee and wants to know when I’m going to die. (sigh….)
Jason
The Cheeky Daddy
FML – if you’re turning into a unicorn, I’m turning into a wild boar with these tushes of mine.
I hate toenails for this reason, and this reason alone: the nail on my pinky toe grows straight up instead of forward, because my pinky toe is all messed up. When I was younger I used to really hate that toe, but as I grew up I started feeling bad about it, thinking that the other toes must be really smug and self satisfied and all “you are the shunned toenail, freak.” To feel better I started pretending I hate all toenails in general, just so the pinky toe wouldn’t feel bad and so the other wouldn’t bully it. I repeated the lie too many times. Now I really do hate them all.
A large section of my hair on the front right side of my face is a completely different texture than the rest of my hair. It’s like someone else’s hair is growing there. My stylist says she’s never come across that before. Also, I have so many birthmarks that a doctor once asked me if anyone in my family had Elephant’s Man disease. Only he used the medical fancy name. I spent months examing my head to see if my bones were growing rapidly.
Oh I’ll give you weird. I have a vestigial gill. In my neck. That’s right, a gill. (technically it has a big long medical name but let’s face it, a gill by any other name…) And it leaks spiderman web stuff. It’s super sticky, and when you try to pull it out it gets all over one hand and then I use the other hand to clean off my first hand only it all just jumps over to the second hand. It’s totally disgusting. I would gladly take a unicorn horn over a gill.
Well, I certainly hope you feel better now after reading everyone’s maladys. I know I do, as I have a huge flat spot on the back of my head (and both of my daughters do, also, but not my son, hmmm…), I have the wispy 3 inch hair that appears high up on my right cheek, the side of my nose, my shoulder, or my upper arm, the awful black hairs that appear on my neck and chin that do appear overnight, and a host of other issues I won’t even begin to go into. But you might find this funny – several years ago, we went on vacation to Mexico where the locals braided my girls’ hair and put beads in them with fishing line (a la Monica of ‘Friends’.) So we were on our way home, one of the girls says, “Mom! You have fishing line in your hair! Did you get yours braided too?” So I am feeling around on my head all perplexed and such while the hubs is laughing his ass off. Yeah, just gray hair. They hadn’t seen it before. I am now regularly scheduled with my colorist.
I have one of those hairs that comes out of my chest, just below my collarbone, every so often. So weird. I don’t know whether to be proud of it or bothered.
That once happened to me…except it was out the side of my freaking boob! What the heck universe? Calling me a tit-head and turning me into a unicorn all at once?? Yeah, that’s way worse than a normal unicorn horn! Way worse. I blame all those times when I listened to old farts who told me to eat strange foods because “it’ll put hair your chest”. I thought that was just a figure of speech. Clearly, it’s not. (thankfully that was a one time deal for me)
Elaine #304, my younger sister has the thumb thing, too! It’s like, if her thumbs were putty, someone just PUSHED DOWN on the top of the left one and it spread. She call that thumb “Shtumpy.”
Totally unrelated but didn’t know if you’d seen this yet: http://blogs.smithsonianmag.com/artscience/2013/02/outrageous-taxidermy-the-subject-of-a-new-show-on-amc/?utm_source=plus.google.com&utm_medium=socialmedia&utm_campaign=20130214&utm_content=collageartssciencestaxidermy
I have large fatty lumps on my scalp. One is positioned slightly to the right of the middle of the back of my head, which causes me to not be able to lean my head directly back onto a surface without discomfort. I permanently have to rest my head looking left.
I was born with extra functioning organs…apparently I did absorb my twin. YEAH ME!
I have odd pigmentation around my left eye that showed up at puberty and 4 white eyelashes.
I wear make-up but it somehow never quite covers the lack of pigmentation.
maybe they are unicorn eyelashes
I have webbed toes. I passed it down to all three of my children. My youngest really only has 4 toes on each foot because of it. Not only am I weird…but I screwed up my children too. Top that 😉
I’m apparently turning into a cat… I always get this one really long white hair that comes out of my cheek… Never had the forehead one… Unicorn 🙂
My face is apparently lopsided when I’m tired. I had no idea until a few weeks ago when I happened to look in the mirror and notice one eyebrow was a good inch higher than the other. I was kind of startled and told my husband to look. He just said “Yeah, your face gets a bit….asymmetrical when you’re tired.” Nice of him to let me know…
If it makes you feel better, my husband is part unicorn too. Not like that, don’t be a perv. He grows a random giant white hair out of his forehead whenever he thinks I’m not looking. Then I go get the tweezers and attack his eyebrows.
Nope, we aren’t weird. Really.
I have a rogue white hair in my left eyebrow. Having seen my dad’s facial hair I’m pretty sure that when I hit 50 it’s suddenly going to transform into a giant ginger eyebrow.
Also I have a little extra bubble of skin on my left ear – it’s kind of pointy, so maybe it’s a confused sideways unicorn horn?
I’ve had two grey streaks of hair (like a badger) since I was about 25.
Oh, and I bruise like a peach. I once got a massive bruise which ran from my shoulder all the way to my wrist, as a result of a bell-ringing accident. My doctor said it was the best bruise he’d ever seen. And I had to give a presentation to 30 police officers about domestic abuse the next day. Which was … interesting.
I get a long white hair that grows out of my cheek. I stroke it like a beard hair and my husband is always trying to get me to put a bead on it. Like it’s some kind of damn corn row.
My eyelashes are turning white. I’m not a very pale person and it isn’t grey and I have no grey hairs in my actual hair…..Just very weird random white eyelashes.
The color in my eyes is slowly flaking off and floating around the back of my eyeballs.
So far I have spent all day reading your hilarious blog…I’m not getting anything else done!
PEOPLE ARE FREAKY! AND GROSS! #319? EEWWWWW!!!
GREATEST POST OF MY LIFE.
I have had a white hair growing out of the center of my head and I’ve known about it for 10 years! Why? Why is it there? I may never know!
But more importantly, I am not alone!!!
But the best part is when you pluck it out with tweezers and find out that the root of the damn unicorn horn is IMBEDDED IN YOUR BRAIN!!! Damn that hurt ;o) (seriously – how long does the root of the hair have to be?!)
I had one of those!!! It was like fine fishing wire COMING OUT OF MY FACE. Good times.
I was a late bloomer who instantly started getting little old lady whiskers. Added to my hobbit feet, and spontaneous 3inch white cheek bone hairs (that totally spawn overnight -__- ), I’m just a ball of sexy.
Ugh. Wine time o/
I had one growing out of my right upper arm when I was in high school. First time I noticed it I thought it was a loose thread on my shirt. So I started pulling on it but it felt like it was connected to me. So I look and it’s a 4-5 inch long white nylon looking hair coming out of my arm. I pulled it out and it came back 3 or 4 more times but then it eventually stopped. I kind of miss it. It was wonderfully weird.
Wellllll. I have a reoccuring 3 inch long blonde/white chest hair… SO not cute on a womans chest.. and it regularly gets found by friends who are being helpful removing a stray hair… try and pull it off and its STUCK!!! OMG!
WHY do we have these? I feel like my body is going alien on me
I always knew you were a unicorn.
Just the other day I wished to be a unicorn. My wish came true for you…Don’t mess it up!
my mom still has vestigial gill slits in front of her ears from the fetal amphibious stage. How cool is that? They don’t actually work underwater though which is a serious bummer.
In my ongoing battle not to look like a pimply faced teenager (I’m 27) I use a face wash and take B12. What I have learned is that I can for the most part, keep the pimples off my face. This means that, instead of just having less pimples, they just form in different places. Like the underside of my jaw and behind my ears. Why god why?
I totally get those- on my right cheek. Out of fucking NO WHERE.
I once had a sewing needle in my toe for 6 months and didn’t know it.
You’re welcome 🙂
I have one of those but it grows out of my left boob a couple times a year. I really hope it doesn’t turn into a horn! That would make me a bad hugger. Or a super villain.
I have an eyebrow that produces a super long eyebrow hair periodically. One day, no freak hair. The next day, it has grown an inch and curled around itself. This always disturbs me. Also, because of some nerve damage (a boring, long chronic-pain of a story), my left hand sometime moves of its own accord. I totally know what it would feel like to be that guy in the movie where he gets the hand transplant only its the hand of a murderer that strangles people and it tries to strangle him. Well, except my hand just gestures vaguely. So far.
I fear I am not as fortunate (to be a unicorn that is) for it appears I am a goat and have recently found a 3″ lone hair growing in the middle of my neck. I thought I groomed, I try to look somewhat put together, but my body is constantly conspiring against me and now I am becoming a goat. Good luck with the unicorn transformation- at least it is magical and more glamorous than a goat.
Grey hairs that grow overnight are never fun, no matter where they are located.
I have little body hair which is great cause I only need to shave my legs & pits twice a year…..but I’ve had a three to four inch hair grow just below my belly button since puberty. I yank it out periodically when I think about it.
I spent the summer of my 17th year laying on the beach in my yellow & white gingham bikini. Oh yeah I was hot 43 years ago….except for the 4 inch black hair growing just below my belly button.
I was sipping a Coke from a bottle listening to “Help Me Rhonda” on my sassy blue transistor radio, when a random cute dude bent down to tell me how gorgeous I was…..or so I thought….instead he yanked that 4 inch curly out with his teeth, spat it out, & walked away without so much as a hello!
About a week after that mortifying experience, that cute dude told me he thought I was cute too…..we had a lovely 3 year relationship. Then we grew up….
Every time I look down & see that hair, I remember those days with tenderness…..
Then I yank it out.
I get a white hair that grows out of my upper arm from time to time and I also have a hair that grows out of the top of my nose. Not inside, but on top of the tip, you know? Anyway, you can’t really see it, but every once in a while I notice it and pluck it.
And you are definitely not the only girl who does the whole checking out your face extremely close up thing. And I’m not even OCD…I think.
Holy crap. I just did the same thing last night. My Rebel Forehead Hair is white AND freakishly thin – much like a Heroine Addict. It just thinks it’s a Rock Star which is why it refuses to obey the rules.
I had a 2 in. long hair on my cheek….my cheek!!! Also I got my first gray hair yesterday…I am 25. I freaked which in turn I’m sure caused more…fml
This isn’t about me; it’s about my husband, so it should make us both feel good!! He has a very smooth chest with just one hair that grows out in the middle. Whenever I comment on it, he gets self-conscious and pulls it out. Then it takes a few days until it grows back. Well, today I noticed there are TWO!! I think it have taken about 5 years. I’m afraid if random forehead hairs are anything like random chest hairs, it might take a long, awkward-looking while for you to completely turn into a unicorn.
PS Thank you for using the word “shit” on twitter today. I was worried I would have to un-follow you for not being offensive enough.
For no explicable reason I occasionally get salt in my eyebrows. Thought it was dry skin until one day I licked my finger and smoothed down my eyebrows, licked again, and wow, that’s salt! Googled it, and it turns out there are a whole bunch of us saltines out there.
That’s happened to me. Twice. Right in the middle of my forehead and once on my neck. I still check from time to time. I also have a wiry black hair that grows right on my jaw line. Just the one. Right in the corner. Tweezers are my best friends.
I get these all the time. Some are soft and wispy, like kitten fur. Some are hard and wiry, like a pirate’s beard. They are random: belly, behind the knee (that one not only grows overnight, it curls!), jaw line, neck and cheek. And the nipples. Oh, the nipples. It like my eyelashes are absorbing into my body and escaping through my boobs.
And if one more nail lady recommends I get my upper lip waxed, I’ll go postal. I swear it.
I get those. One on my shoulder blade & another on the side of my forehead. I think my unicorn genes are a little confused. Or maybe my body is being taken over by multiple alien unicorns. I’m never sleeping again.
How is there so many posts so quickly? It’s going to take forever to read them all! As for your unicorn hair/horn- I don’t think you need to be concerned until you start pooping rainbows! It is just another sign of your awsomeness!
I get one that grows directly below my septum. It’s white and curly and more often than not I end up yanking it out.
Ever since I was in my 20’s…I would suddenly, randomly find a two to three inch long white hair growing on my boobies. left side..down and under. right side, smack on the nipple. When I was single and dating, I checked EVERY day for fear of choking a boyfriend! Not too mention the whole “what the fuck, I’m dating a werewolf” factor the disgusting discovery could cause! Like every one else…no hair, no hair, no hair…BAM…2 to 3 inches overnight. I’ve been married 10 years and thanks in part to my diligent self exams…my husband has no idea these hair exist!! Unicorn on!
I have the EXACT SAME THING happen to me every few months. The hair is super fine and I can actually pull it easily, but it grows overnight. I shit you not.
In addition to a freakish amount of body hair woes (I think my ancestors might have been sasquatches… sasquatchi?), I once had this hair that was somehow just under the surface of the skin on my leg, like an inch long that I only noticed because it hurt. Somehow a fraction of the end was poking through the skin, so I took tweezers to it and it just slid out because it wasn’t actually attached to anything at all. IT WAS JUST SITTING THERE BEING A HAIR. UNDER THE SKIN. And then when said hair was extracted, there was bleeding. Convinced it was my twin and I’ve just now made you all accomplices after the fact. YOU’RE WELCOME. <3
Jen – I am in fact a unicorn. I have what’s called an osteoma (non-scary bone tumor) just slightly off centre of my forehead. And it’s the size of a marble. One of the regular-sized player ones, not the big whopper ones. It’s been growing over the last 10 years. Depending on my mood, I call it my unicorn horn or devil’s horn. Love that you’ve joined the unicorn ranks. We’re so happy to have you! 🙂
Yup, I get those too. Mine grows out of my neck. The best thing about getting old is that when it does show up, it’s now white instead of black and almost invisible. What makes mine different is that instead of being 3 inches long, it’s only 1 cm but as thick as 10 hairs put together.
I have one on my neck/chin area that grows 3 inches over night about 3 times per year at random! its very fine almost invisible. I also get one that is thick and coarse that grows BLACK on my elbow! And 1 super long arm hair… just one. I am so excited that I’m not a freak. OK fine I am a freak but I’m not alone in my freakyness!!
I can see this is such a difficult time for you with the transition and all.
If you’d like an edible arrangement or some shit like that, let me know. I’ve never sent one of them and always have wanted to. Maybe they will shape the fruit with some human, some unicorn, and some humcorn (human and unicorn mix, duh). -k
I woke up and found a hair by my nostril. I tried to brush it away only to realize it was attached to the inside of my right nostril. It was long, black and evil looking (b.t.w., why are the rest of my hairs coming in white but this one shoots out of my nose like a swamp snake) So not only was it crawling out of my right nostril, it was able to curl around and was making a mad dash for my left nostril. OMG, I did not want it to go up there. It might have tried to breed and then where would I be. Running around my world looking like Gene Shalit, that’s what. Oh, NO, NO, NO. I think NOT! I have very little control over the strange and disturbing things that are happening to my body but I was not going to allow that massive hair to take up roots and find a mate in my left nostril. I pulled that sucker out. It hurt like hell but I am in control of my destiny!
I’ve got about 5 unicorn horns growing out of the top of my head. I can do that right?
Wow, it is like a circus of weirditude, a real life old-school freak show. Love it. Um, how can I compete?? Well, I have an extra bone in my foot, one that has no real purpose except to stick out like a big ugly bump. Not as weird as everyone else, but still.
Where to begin in my body oddities…?
*My bellybutton is an inch off center.
*I have partially webbed toes – on one foot.
*My ear canals are perfectly straight, rather than the curvy, protective way they should be. If you look into my ears, you can see my eardrums.
*Tilted uterus
*Only 4 of my teeth actually touch each other. I have an overbite, a crossbite, and an openbite. The only way to fix this is to break my jaw, reassemble it so that everything lines up, then wire my jaw shut to let it all heal. I opted out.
*I have many of those freakishly long hairs… but mine don’t grow overnight. I’m very pale, and the hairs are very light. One is under my (off center) bellybutton. The first time I discovered it, it was about 6 inches long. I also have one on my arm, on the bridge of my nose, and on my elbow.
One time when I was in my 20’s, I felt something (that I swear came out of nowhere) inside my shirt that was rubbing against my back and irritating it. Closer inspection revealed that (whatever it was) was actually STICKING OUT OF MY SKIN and rubbing against my shirt … not the other way around. I had my boyfriend look to see what it was and he told me it was some kind of hair. I asked him to pluck it out and when he showed it to me, the damn thing was about 1/3″ long, solid white and THICK like a tiny porcupine quill … which makes sense, I guess, since it was on my back.
So apparently … I’m a magical porcupine?
Though I think I may have inadvertently deactivated my magical porcupine powers by plucking the hair out, as it never grew back again.
We men get such a kick out of doing this to ya’ll.
It freaks you out for days.
And it’s payback for the times you threw away our old underwear with all the tears.
We loved that underwear.
Allison – I think having a black, limp unicorn horn makes you the anti-unicorn…or the evil unicorn of doom, which is equally cool. Wear those limp horns with pride I say, black or white.
And as for strange body things; toe hair. I think I have hobbit ancestry.
I found one in between my shoulder blades , about the same length. I have to get hubby to deal with it when it grows back, coz I can’t reach the damn thing. Also last week a one inch doozy on my left cheek. Great……
I have so much facial hair I’ve given up on tweezers, and now just have a shave in the shower every night. If I didn’t, within three days I’d look like Graeme Garden from late 70s episodes of The Goodies when he had enormous lamb chop sideburns.
My navel leaks. I’d never met anyone else who has this, until one day in my late 20s I randomly met a girl on a bus and, don’t ask me how we got on the subject because I have no idea but hers does too. Her doctor told her that it sometimes happens when the hole between your insides and outsides doesn’t seal properly after they cut your umbilical cord. So my guts are slowly leaking out of a pinhole in my stomach.
There, don’t you feel better?
OMG…my all female office just had this conversation recently! I found a HUGE white hair growing out of my hip. Sigh..
Try having a third nipple… just saying
My husband once said “hey you have something stuck to your back” and proceeded to grab what he thought was a long hair that fell from my head until I yelped and he realized it was a long white hair growing out of my back. He didn’t think I was turning into a unicorn, but a werewolf.
I have a bunch of little bumps (cysts, I guess) all up and down the insides of my forearms. I had one taken out and biopsied and they’re benign. I’m just lumpy, I guess. You wouldn’t notice them unless I told you about them, but once you see them you can’t un-see them.
welcome to the club. i’m an ex member now because for some reason, i stopped getting that 3″ white hair – ahem, unicorn horn. but only after YEARS of plucking. sometimes, when the light catches it just right, it’s like a beacon.
I once found a three-inch long hair on the back of my thigh near my knee that had somehow evaded shaving.
Im so happy there are other women out there that have this…
One night me and my boyfriend were getting ready for bed and I noticed a 3 or 4 inch white hair coming out of his forehead…we both thought it was weird considering we had both never noticed it before so he plucked it. Two minutes later he was putting lotion on my back for me and noticed a 3-4 inch white hair on my back and had to pluck it. We just assumed we were meant for eachother and now we do random white hair spot checks!
Mine appeared around age 21, and as with the rest of my life, is slightly off-center (on my forehead.) I check for it every day when I put on lotion, but not once have I discovered it before it was three inches long. It’s magic fucking unicorn hair. I have attempted to fashion it into a little curli-q, to no avail. There is also one on my forearm, which I only see when I notice someone else notice it. Hey, you could create a market for tiny wee bows to tie on them. Start a fashion trend! And sparkles!
I have many possibly weird body things! I have a very coarse, clear hair that appears from the center of a tiny mole on my chin. I keep checking for it, all the time, because I too have OCD. I have to wait for it to get a little length before I can tweeze it, and when I do, it feels like I’m ripping my face off for a split second. I guess it shows up every few months…and then there’s the nipple hair. Or I guess areola hair? Whatever, I get dark, coarse hair growing there, about 10 around the right, 15 or so around the left. Yes, I’ve counted. I’ve shaved them in the past, but it made me nervous, being near my nips, so I took to plucking them out, post-shower. Sometimes they grow back under the skin, and I see them there, mocking me, growing all sideways. When I’m single, like now, I just let them grow! They’re at the half-inch mark right now! I also have over-exuberant hair growth around my vajay. The hair there is long and coarse and grows out onto my inner thighs. I trim them, and sometimes Nair them off, if I’m planning to wear a bathing suit in public, and one day, I’m gonna have them lasered off because that is just too much hair! I have “princess skin” and get red marks that last for months and months from cuts or burns or acne; I’m apparently allergic to the adhesive in Band-Aids and get red marks everywhere when I use them, except my finger tips, which last for weeks; I’m allergic to something in Neosporin now too, and get an allergic rash if I use it anywhere except my fingers…I also have bunions. And moles on my tummy that when connected together, form a series of triangles. And a pointy head.
I feel better sharing all this with strangers!
I had a transparent mini-horn-hair that grew overnight in front of my right ear (like fiberoptics!), but after I plucked it, it never came back. It DID leave a hole in my face, though, so there’s that. And my mom has a huge witch mole by her nose, which I am now getting, too. At least it matches my hideous pointy nose. I’m developing an appropriate cackle to go with them. Since I was born on Halloween, I guess I’m just fulfilling my destiny. On second thought, maybe I should have cultivated the crazy transparent hair-thing.
I have a kidney shaped birthmark right above my kidney. Coincidence? I think not.
I have had one of those strange little hairs growing out of my chest right above my boob. I have no idea why it’s there and it grows almost over night! So strange. Glad I’m not the only one with weird things going on…
I occassionally have a miniscule ‘horn’ that grows in the middle of my left palm. And then there is the cluster of ‘nerve bumps’ that appear on my left buttock or near my tailbone whenever I get stressed about things. They itch and are very painful to touch. I think they’re the virus leftovers from a bad case of strep I had over 30 years ago.
Holy shit I have the same thing but it happens on my neck. ON MY NECK!!! What the shit does THAT mean? There’s no cool animal that has horns in it’s neck, right? Even Satan’s horns are on his head. Ugh…I never do anything right. LOL.
I have found one of those long white hairs on my face, too, but out the side of my cheekbone instead. Which means I’m turning into one of those deep water angler fish, I think. Totally not as cool as a unicorn.
I have witch hairs growing out of my chin that I’m totally OCD about. I also lack a tricep muscle in my left arm – I was born in the 70’s.
I can’t do push-ups because my elbows come out of their sockets. Like, way out. Definitely more distressing.
Jenny, you and your fans are fantastic! I have a red birthmark on the nape of my neck, so when I wear my hair up, people can see it. Some have called me a true “redneck”. Funny thing is, I was born with this (42 years ago) and my father just noticed it last month.
New fear.
I have a three inch long white hair that grows out of the side of my arm, and when I just looked down it wasn’t there anymore so… that might be mine. Sorry!
You should have put a hair curler in that shit and owned it.
As oglaf.com (NSFW PLEASE DEAR GOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN WHAT THE FUCK NOT IN THAT WAY DAMMIT NSFW) reminds us, with a picture of a dead man with a circular puncture clean through his forehead, “As final thoughts go, ‘Unicorns *are* real!’ is kind of an awesome one.”
My husband has one of those! I pull it out for him occasionally, but I feel bad because its like I’m killing his magic.
I get random freckles for no reason in odd places. I’m hardly ever in the sun anymore, but I’ll still wake up to get dressed and realize- hey, is that a new freckle on my vulva? Okay fine body, do whatever the hell you want.
Congratulations on your impending unicorn-ness! But you might want to stop plucking it out, your horn will never grow long and spirally if you keep yanking it out by the roots.
I have one white eyelash. It never falls out. So, my unicorn horn is totally growing in the wrong place. Bummer.
I’ve had long, dark red chin hairs that stick out both sides of my chins since I was about 18 years old. I spend so little time looking in the mirror that I’ve often found myself out, about to go to a meeting or on stage, and realized they are long enough that I can twist them into little spikes. On my head, I have blonde-ish hair. It’s super obvious.
Maybe someday soon you will get to poop rainbows!
lol my husband has the some thing! But his were jet black and very noticable and sometimes grow in paches.
But what I want to know is, have you pooped any rainbows yet?
I have vitiligo, which can also affect hair follicles, which means that random patches of my eyebrows/eyelashes/facial hair turn white. Not individual hairs, scattered in a manly, salt-and-pepper stubble way. Spotty, photo-negative-of-a-dalmatian patches.
I love this tribe.
When I was in high school bacl in the 70’s I had one that would pop up overnight. I just pulled it out after doing it 3 times over a period of 4 or 5 yrs. I have never gotten another one I guess I got to the end of it
I see there are at least 2 other velociraptor-toed people on here, along with one triceratops, and I must thank you for helping me find my kin. Insert Land Before Time theme song!
You are definitely becoming a unicorn and I am so jealous.
Ok, I have a similar hair that grows out of the middle of my back. I had no idea that it was there because I had the eye in the back of my head removed some time ago…I discovered when I was at the pool with a friend and she thought it was a stray hair FROM MY HEAD that was just sitting on my body (because it had been there so long that it was about 10 inches long at that point) and tried to pull it off. I yelled OW and jerked away…yes that was awkward and very embarrassing. I have to have my husband pluck it when it grows back, which it does every few months, because I can’t reach it.
I had a 2-3 inch long white hair growing out of my arm once. amazingly long! I was impressed but pulled it out. I just assumed I was part werewolf.
I HAVE ONE TOO! and on on my cheek
I was crying because I just graduated from nursing school and I can’t find a job and WHY DOES NO ONE WANT ME!?! when I read this and it made me laugh out loud and totally cheered me up. I love you.
Fun body fact: My belly button is off to the right by at least an inch and a half. Always has been. Now I’m 12 weeks pregnant (which totally contributed to the aforementioned crying) and I can’t wait to see what it does over the next few months. What if the disparity grows with my belly and it winds up at like 2:00?
The following list is limited to hair growth only. Several in either nippular area, a random spindle-like hair that grew to the left of and slightly below my right shoulder, several on my chin, one (and only one) in my mustache area, right side, one random methuselah eyebrow hair that I SWEAR grows overnight. That last one has grown 2 times, was discovered and removed moments following discovery. Sadly, I didn’t know to question whether there was unicorn DNA involved. Damn!
All the time. My right cheek only. I’ve grown a bit fond of them. What are you if your horn grows out of your cheek?
I have two of those, one on the back of my shoulder and one on the back of my upper thigh. And my sister has one on the back of her shoulder, too. I used to think they were awesome, but now I’m jealous of you because I don’t think ours are unicorn horns, just weird, strangely wispy, long white hairs in spots that are hard to reach.
Oh my god I get those too and I thought I was hallucinating or incredibly unobservant. Also, I get ice cream headache in the middle of my spine instead of my head. Right about where my bra hooks, hideous aching agony, no explanation. My doctor’s never heard of it.
I had one of those only it was on my wrist. This was before the internet so I could not look it up and find out I was not alone in my weirdness. I have no idea what the significance of having a unicorn horn on my wrist is. I am worried it might be dinosaurish rather than unicornish.
Yep, big white hairs growing out of the side of my neck from time to time. Good times.
Almost forgot. I inherited a fabulous trait from my PawPaw. He had one GIANT ear and one tiny ear. And they were positioned in completely different spots on each side of his head. Luckily mine are roughly the same size but the right one is almost an inch lower than the left one. The guys at the optometrist always go, “Huh. Did you know that your ears. . . . ?” Yes, yes I did.
I have to cut bangs into my hair now to hide the deep fucking wrinkles that appeared out of nowhere.. oh.. and I have mostly gray hair and I’m only 32 with NO kids. wtf.
I found what has been deemed a ‘rogue’ hair growing out of my left bicep. It was approximately 2 inches long. I think it appeared due to my super human strength.
Ok so I didn’t get chicken pox until I was like 25 – during winter break from grad school no less – and I got the damn spots everywhere and they were horrible and itchy. The worst by far was right on the tip of my nose and as you can imagine it took weeks to heal so everyone was like ‘hey, what’s up with the crusty nose?’ Except nobody dared to say it. So I’d preemptively say I was recovering from chicken pox and they’d be like ‘suuure’. Because it happened during winter break when nobody was around, and how many people get chicken pox at 25?
I still have a divot there today. And a huger divot on my forehead near my right temple, from another chicken pock. All the damn pox spots left scars that are visible today, over 15 years later. And yes there were some where the sun don’t shine. I’m too scared to check if those scars are still visible too.
Now I have rosacea so I’m sure everyone’s like – ‘so, how’s that drinking problem’ because my nose and cheeks are red all the time. And of course I don’t drink…but I’m not going to preemptively bring that up because, well, how do you think that will go over?
I had a random black hair grow right on the side of my nipple…. Like… Right ON my nipple…. I don’t have hair on my chest, and I’m female… And it was overnight as well…. WTF!?! I’m jealous of your unicorn awesomeness… I have no idea what a black hair on a nipple would make me…
Yowza. After reading everyone else’s posts, I’m not going to complain about my tonsil stones. O_O
http://i1273.photobucket.com/albums/y419/Lovebian/unicorn_rainbow_zpsdd2dd6ed.jpg
Add me to the “random black hair growing out of my neck for no reason” club.
Since becoming pregnant, I have acquired white hairs all over my belly….totally not sexy!
Weird Thing About My Body: No matter how much I eat, I NEVER gain weight…kidding:) Please check out my blog…it is brand new: http://brokenhallelujahbook.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/everybody-knows/
I also have a book, but I won’t bore you with that. Happy Valentine’s Day!
The Odd Life of Jenny Lawson
Well, I can’t say that I’ve ever grown a white hair overnight, but I can say that my dental hygienist complimented me on having a big accessible mouth the other day. I couldn’t be more proud!!!
I have a chin hair. I first noticed it when I was about 22. It was black and I’d pluck it as soon as the tweezer could grab it. Over the years, it seems to have lightened to a blondish color. So I let it grow out kinda long. When I’m pondering something, I stroke my chin and then grab the chin hair and pull on it. I find it makes me feel like I am intensely meditating…until I get distracted estimating the length of the hair and if its time to pluck again.
I had a skin tag on my right nipple. The doc had it tested just to make sure it wasn’t a wart.
OK, now I am sad that I don’t have long hairs growing overnight. It might be gross, but it is pretty amazing the body can do that! I just have a mole that will slowly grow gross hairs on my cheek. A bunch of them, it is pretty nasty. I pluck them when I feel them coming back in.
I have a hair on my arm that grows freakishly fast and is like three inches long. A single hair. Luckily my arm hair is blonde so I don’t care, and it’s weird because when I pull it, it comes right out. But that’s probably more than you wanted to know 🙂
I am a touch weirded out about all these tales of long-ass hairs growing overnight. Um..how is that possible? I have so many unwanted hair problems. If they start coming in overnight, I’m screwed.
I have a black cat who has two white whiskers. One has fallen out, and grown back white. A couple of days ago, I noticed a white hair on her cheek. I tried to pull it, thinking it was a loose hair. It wasn’t. She didn’t like that to much. And it isn’t a hair, it’s a whisker. But, an incredibly white stripe on a very black background – so very obvious. It must have popped up overnight. Just like your, and so many others, mysterious hair. Nevermind that she’s a feline.
Yeah, that happens. I had one sprout on my neck in my 20s when I was getting electrolysis on the short black hairs and the technician didn’t know wtf was up with that either. One day, I noticed a co-worker had one growing on her cheek. But she was a bitch, so I didn’t say anything.
I brushed a hair from the side of my nose. Turns out is was connected inside my right nostril. It was long, black and evil looking and why, when all my other hair follicles produce white hair, this comes storming out of my nose like a swamp snake. Worst part was that it was curling into my left nostril. This could not happen. Maybe it would go up there and find a mate. Can nose hair procreate? I could have been walking around looking like Gene Shalit, for heavens sake. I can’t control the evil changes in my body but this hair was not gonna win. I grabbed my tweezers and yanked it out. It hurt like hell but I was, for once, in charge of my own destiny.
OK I take peoples temperatures on their foreheads because we live in the future like the Jetsons and shit and some people have NINE HEADS forget five headsand that….nine heads even 11 heads. RIDICULOUS ok i am doneeeeeeee
I’m double-jointed in my left thumb, but not the right. When I discovered it, I thought I’d broken it, somehow.
I had my gallbladder out when I was 20. Most people don’t get gallstones until they’re in their 30s, at the earliest.
On the subject of hair, I frequently and randomly grow a freakishly long, skinny blonde hair on my arm, near my wrist. And my facial hair is peach fuzz, except where it grows out of the mole on my cheek. That’s coarse and black. I pluck it, of course.
I have a mysterious white hair that magically appears on my right shoulder. It isn’t there at night and then POOF, the son of bitch appears out of nowhere and hangs out in my peripheral vision until thehubby can pull it out. True story.
A thick, black hair grows out of a freckle on my left cheek every few weeks or so, and I usually don’t notice it until it’s like an inch long, after everyone else has probably noticed it. Also, my second toes are longer than my big toes.
I had one of those damn hairs that I could have stuck up my nose – or go fly fishing with. My 17-year-old said my chin makes me look like a goat. The little shit was right though.
The bad news is – you reach a certain age and you can’t see them, at least until someone, like your teenage son, points them out to you.
I get one of those in black on my left arm one every couple of years. Recently, one of my eyebrows went rogue and got to about 3 inches long before I noticed it. I have lots and lots of little pigmentless spots all over my arms and legs, and they’ve recently started migrating to my face. The grays are everywhere. My pinkie toenails are teeny tiny and grow pretty much straight up. One dark nipple hair that always goes ingrown. So much body weirdness. xo
I found one of those on my ex-husband’s forehead about six years ago.
You guys are not alone. It freaked the shit out of me.
I have one of those hairs on my stomach. It gets super long and always grows back. So, apparently it is TOTALLY NORMAL!
I have this one white hair that keeps coming back under my jaw, I keep plucking and it comes back. I forget about it and one day I catch a glimpse and it’s like a foot long! Well really only a half inch but it feels like a foot! So you are not alone and now I feel better because I know I am not alone too!
My husband has the EXACT SAME HAIR!! I’ve been calling him a unicorn for years now 🙂 I’m a little jealous that you both have this awesome horn coming in and all I’ve got is a white birth mark. I do tell people I’m part albino when they ask about it.
So, I have had this happen, except the hair was on the side/front area of my stomach! I’m almost certain it wasn’t there the day before I found it…it too was about three inches long. WEIRD. This has also been something that I found on my arm too. Glad I’m not alone, weird as it is!
Air comes out of my eyes when I blow my nose. I think thats weird.
I have marks on my cheeks like I’ve been crying where I get very sunburned, but right above them, on the curve of my cheekbones, I have freckles and skin which never really tans. It looks really odd!
My thumbs are shaped like short squat incandescent lightbulbs. In ninth grade, when Bone Thugs In Harmony were popular, my friends called them the “puggish nubbish thumbs” and my droll set of opposables had their own minor cult following. Sorry that your horn was thin, flaccid, and defective, and that you had to amputate it. In the end it’s probably for the best.
Had a great big mole on my lady parts my. Entire. Life. 29 years. Then, last year, it disappears. Overnight. If that wasn’t freaky enough, my gyno was “very concerned”, but she never did anything about it…
ERMAHGERD! I have “tonsil stones” and until reading above, had NO clue that there is a word for it or that others suffer from them as well!
I get weird long hairs that grow on my arm and chin. I always pull them out. I also get these weird super thick hairs. they never get very long but are thick and hard. There are probably unicorn horns, but never on my forehead. I guess I’m deformed!
Of course I have the usual moustache and unibrow, but I also have hairy toes & feet. And I have to wax my armpits, no joke. Oh and the third nipple, that’s weird right? Luckily it never developed like the other two, so at least there’s that 🙂
Oh, since somebody mentioned adult acne (my dad still gets pimples, he’s in his 60’s, I got his oily skin, and I expect I’ll be getting zits for the rest of my days), here’s a brief interaction from work the other day:
Me: [smiling as I always do when greeting the next-in-line] Hello. How are you today?
Female customer: Are you ok?
Me: [slightly confused] I’m sorry – what?
Female customer: Your face… it has the red bumps all over it.
Me: [miffed silence for a second]
Female customer: [raising an eyebrow] Did you not know?
Me: [tersely] It’s acne. Adult acne.
I wanted to tell her it was smallpox (since I’ve had others mistake it for chicken pox, and some think the dermatitis on my forearms is poison ivy rash). But I didn’t.
I have a regular smooth pair of shoulders, but every other month my right shoulder sports a eyebrow length and eyebrow thickness hair. And it completely looks like a misplaced healthy eyebrow hair, growing out of my shoulder. Hair is weird.
My sister and I both get the unicorn hairs; her’s from her hip, mine from the back of my shoulder. My sister and cousin discovered mine at a wedding…..while we were sitting next to the bride on the dais. My sister thought it was some old relative’s hair that fell out when she hugged me, but when she went to brush it off it was stuck…then she pulled it, and about three more inches came out before she could pluck it from the follicle… Apparently my unicorn horn is retractable!
Maybe, like plucking hairs, plucking a unicorn horn just means it’ll come back thicker and longer the next time?
I have four nipples, but the extra two don’t have areolas and are not lined up properly. They look like little moles below my breasts.
When I was a teenager, I had a really bad, really painful zit on my back. My mom popped it and spent 5 minutes cleaning it out but after she did, a pebble popped out. THERE WAS A PEBBLE IN MY BACK. I called it my pearl. You’re lucky you’re a unicorn. I’M A GODDAMN OYSTER.
I totally have a skin tag….. ON MY NIPPLE. Yeah, I’m not trying to tie it off with silk thread to get rid of it. IT’S ON MY NIPPLE DAMMIT.
Ya…I have a hair like that on my chin…it will not die and I have to be on guard ALL. THE. TIME. Because it doesn’t make it any better on your chin…seriously.