And that’s why twitter exists. For pictures of unicorns snogging.

Remember yesterday when I said that getting a morphine-drip was like being frenched by a unicorn?  Well, it’s sort of been stuck in my mind ever since and so this morning I tweeted this out:

Random assignment for bored artists today: An illustration of a woman making out with a unicorn. #artforawesomeness

The responses were astounding and they helped me to find, lose and then find again my faith in humanity.  This is why twitter exists.  This is why we’re here.  Because there is such great joy in embracing the bewildering art of taking a joke way, way too far.  Thank you for taking that journey with me.

And in case you haven’t followed it on twitter, here are just a few of my very favorites.  (Click on the pics for links to the artist’s awesomeness.)

You guys are weird.

Never change.

150 replies. read them below or add one

  1. HA.
    Oh man. I think I have to give Marina the most props tho for drawing that on her phone (I presume?)

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted We-Vibe Salsa Giveaway Winners Announced!.

  2. It’s like you’re giving Rule 34 a friendly handy.

    Ken recently posted In Which Judge Fred Biery Enjoys the Hell Out of Denying a Preliminary Injunction.

  3. There are no words. So romantic. So beautiful. So fucking odd. Stay Classy Internet. Stay Classy.

    Holly Folly recently posted Putting Newspaper in the Garden: The Agony.

  4. Matthew Gerber’s is my FAVORITE!

    Laura recently posted On Jason Collins: There Should Be No Qualifier for Courage.

  5. I saw the tweet earlier. It’s amazing how you can motivate people to do weird things. WOLVERINES!

  6. I laughed out loud at the sharp stick in the eye. Thanks!

    leslie (crookedstamper) recently posted His & Hers, Day 1 Homework.

  7. Oh my lord… this is the historical peak of Twitter. It’s all downhill from here.

    Todd recently posted My Cult is Shaping Up Quite Nicely, Thanks..

  8. Again, you made liquid come out of my nose.

    Tom recently posted 50 Random Thoughts About Travel.

  9. The one with tongue is the best! So damn awesome.

    thedoseofreality recently posted An Open Letter To Andy Dick.

  10. Awesome. Especially the tongues in Marina’s. 😀

  11. And this is the legacy I leave to the world.

    I’ve never been more proud.

    LadyAttercop recently posted 05/24/2012.

  12. OMG I can’t believe I missed this today.
    Those are amazing. Matthew Gerber FTW.

    Banana Stickers recently posted No. I Do Not Want To Go To Your Weird Lady Party..

  13. It is true you can’t un-see things. Oh… My eyes…

    I’m sure just reading this post is getting me shortlisted on some government list – and I only looked at half the tweeted images….

    Brennan's Mom recently posted One Week - and anxious.

  14. I love that we live in a world where this happens somewhere other than the torn back page of a trapper keeper.

    Hj recently posted The Oaxaca Post.

  15. I don’t know if the interwebs could be any more awesome.

  16. I like the majestic way the unicorn is smoking that cigarette.

  17. 17
    Alicia Lane

    Go home Internet. You’re drunk.

  18. Great.

    Now I’m horny.

    moooooog35 recently posted I'm like Wolfman Jack but less hairy and not dead.

  19. 19
    Lindsay Barker

    Unfortunately, since I am allergic to morphine, for me it is like rolling around in fiberglass while making out with a unicorn who is into erotic play which involves asphyxiation. Draw that, interwebz.

  20. Anyone can draw a woman frenching a unicorn. Catching a photo of one…now that would be impressive.

    okeducationtruths recently posted To CTB: We’ll Deal with You Later.

  21. Twitter is a glorious and demented place. It’s why I get up in the morning.

    Kari recently posted Kids: Nature’s Petri dishes OR The solution to the unemployment problem?.

  22. My unicorn is all, “we never talk anymore…”

    There’s a life goal I can finally cross off my list, Jenny likes a picture I drew!

    Marcia recently posted Letting Go - Original Artwork by seriousface.

  23. Hahahaha! Eeeewww! Hahahaha!

  24. Ah the conundrum of Unicorns only loving virgins, inevitably rendering them rejected non-virgins.

    Jess recently posted I'm Too Lewd for Google...Mwahahahaha.

  25. Fabulous art assignment. Now for those of us who don’t draw, can the next one be a poetry assignment? Cuz something MUST rhyme with unicorn.

    Mary recently posted Santa Carolina Carmenere.

  26. yeah, I skew a little more x-rated,, so was hesitant to join in. I need to check back on twitter…

    Brook recently posted Must needs these.

  27. Damn it. I knew I should have kept up with myTwitter account. Look what I missed. Sigh. I’ll try to be better.

    Laurie F. recently posted Carry on Tuesday: Once Upon A Time.

  28. omg. i love the one where the horn pokes her in the eye. awesomeness. these drawings need some t-shirts.

    monica recently posted Did my family buy a zoo?.

  29. Really, you are the only reason I’m on Twitter.

  30. I love the varieties of talent, styles, and mental quirks revealed by the drawings. You, Jenny, are the Patron Goddess of the Interwebz. What you ask, you shall be given. Except for Nathan Fillion holding twine because that would make your goddessness much, much too powerful.

    Skye recently posted Stuck to Unstuck? My New Journey.

  31. I love how Steve proves that even unicorns are jackasses.

    Ashley recently posted Finding Nemo..

  32. Matthew Gerber’s cracked me up.
    Gah.. I gotta learn how to tweet. I have not the knowledge.


    SmithShack71 recently posted bob dylan.

  33. …have I mentioned lately how much I love you?

    Squishy Amber recently posted Security Blankets.

  34. @Mary – porn rhymes with unicorn….. that’ll be interesting

  35. okay…these images are going to haunt me forever. I need a morphine drip NOW!

    Sj recently posted For All The Teachers.

  36. You literally won the internet today. Congrats. =D

    CM recently posted Menu Suggestions.

  37. You are awesomely, sometimes disturbingly inspiring! Please don’t ever change because you are my hero 🙂

    Kat recently posted A Little Bit of Me Time.

  38. 38
    Amanda Lally

    Here’s a bear…with a Crotch Unicorn. (Yes, I ended up on the Dark Side of YouTube one night…)

  39. Shit. Now I have to join Twitter.

  40. i need morphine!!!!

  41. Wow. I’m jealous because I have no art skills at all. All I can draw is stick figures and it would just look like they were trying to start a fire.

    danielle recently posted Zoo!.

  42. My friend Kelly and I (you met her at the NJ book signing; she gave you Dr. Who balls or something) frequently spend our time sharing Unicorn stuff with each other on Facebook. She used to hate Unicorns, you see. So I’ve been using Behavior Adjustment Therapy. Or maybe just irritating her. Whichever. But I’ll tell you, searching “Unicorn” on Etsy can take you down a scary scary road….

    Jen recently posted I've never been to Detroit.

  43. Damn. Again I find myself wishing I was on Twitter so I could be part of awesomeness like this. Alas, I’m certain no one cares about my rambling thoughts, so no such luck for me. I love that you have awesome fans that do have Twitter!! 😀

  44. The last one is my favorite. Way to make it weird, Lady A!

    Angela recently posted Bribery….

  45. Matthew Gerber’s is by far the most disturbing. Kudos Matthew for your darkly disturbed mind.

    Char recently posted Pre-Race Jitters.

  46. Back in May 2012, I remember chatting about THIS VERY TOPIC, because a girl at a party was wearing a Star Wars/Unicorn T-shirt, so I mentioned a radio spot Taco Bell had at the time, where alleged customers voiced their opinions about a new product (I think it was the Doritos-flavored taco shell), and one man gave an over-the-top performance, saying, “It’s like french-kissing a unicorn!” I wonder if Taco Bell advertising came up with this idea first, or did they get it from somewhere else?

  47. That goes without saying: Morphine drip > Doritos-flavored taco shell

  48. ‘Dolores Umbridge’

    Cathy recently posted 365 Poems: Lines from a Post Office.

  49. Matthew Gerber just won my heart.

    Neeroc recently posted Feeling daffy.

  50. I’m so glad I could be here for the birth of a new fetish. Now when I say “Someone, somewhere has done/fantasized about that” I can go to sleep secure I’m still right.

    Amy (KidFreeLiving) recently posted Best Skin Lotion Since Rendered Orphan Fat.

  51. So cool. I feel a twinge of sadness for Melanie.

    Marcy recently posted Timid No More eBook Trailer.

  52. 52
    Kris Brummett

    MATTHEW WINS!!!!!!!!!! Not only does it fulfill your request but it is a brilliant illustration of my first kiss. He WAS a unicorn………….. in my mind anyway.

  53. Those are great!! I haven’t been on twitter at all in the last 24 hours due to work. I really should be on there more.

  54. These indeed make me very uncomfortable. I guess that was the whole point.

    LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? recently posted Terrible Neighbors: Four Good Ways to Teach Them a Lesson.

  55. I watched that you tube video Amanda L. posted on here and that is just weird… But awesome unicorn pics.

  56. 56
    The Original Lisa

    I thought the girl in Matthew’s was wearing a party hat for a moment. That is a terrible, awful, disgusting, amazing party hat.

  57. These are amazing. I agree Internet, never change.

    Kelsey recently posted My Long-Standing Flame.

  58. So much awesomeness!

    Punky Coletta recently posted It is all very wibbly wobbly..

  59. 59
    Carlotta Regina Tristania III

    I think my favorite is the unicorn who’s not sure he’s into it. In my head, I’ve decided that if you catch a unicorn, you get one wish, and the woman wished to make out with the unicorn, but the unicorn’s all, “Okay… I mean, I could cure cancer, or give you millions, but… no? You sure? All right then. We’ll do… that thing. With our tongues.”

  60. what would we do without the internet? bless.

    Tanya recently posted KAL-iente.

  61. Unicorns on Twitter! Why didn’t I think of that?

    Robert K. Blechman recently posted How Long Can I Milk This Bar Scene? - The Golden Parachute Continues!.

  62. Good Lord that is awesome. Just what I needed!

    Jaime recently posted This is sort of a wedding anniversary post.

  63. I just have to say that this has made my day. And possibly added to my overburdened roster of nightmares. I’m not sure whether to thank you or send you my therapy bills.
    let’s go with thanks. It saves on postage.

  64. I love that you said, ‘snogging’!!

    Punky Coletta recently posted It is all very wibbly wobbly..

  65. God Bless!!! Best part of my day.

  66. Wow…….love this! Jenny, you could rule the world!

    Claire recently posted Enoughness without the Roughness.

  67. I loved all of these, and Matthew read my mind, but Nara for the win.

  68. How delightfully bizarre. It occurs to me that I may not follow you on Twitter yet, but this seems like a good reason to start 😛

    Stephanie @ Athlete at Heart recently posted Weekly Weigh In.

  69. hahaha, those are all weird and creepy and awesome.

    Alison recently posted Zolpidem gives you ZZZs (plus the occasional purple octopus).

  70. I followed this all day, and the thought that occurred most was awe and a bit of fear at the amount of power you weild.

    Then the mad scientist kicked in and I wondered just how much you could convince people to do simply because you said so. I think that for the sake of scientific posterity we need to investigate further.

    Morraha recently posted Coming Undone..

  71. Dear Lord… those are so brilliantly uncomfortable…

    Emelie recently posted Yes. All of This Did Actually Happen..

  72. Your twitter followers are awesome! (me included) but this kind of whimsy? This is why I love you.

    Miss Gee recently posted A Farewell That Was Not Sad.

  73. So full of awesome.

  74. You guys…. seriously. If you ever decide to take over the world – or even start up a new city – i’m so with you all.

    debby recently posted The Chocolate has spoken..

  75. OH.MY.Gosh. This is amazing, I am dying. The one being drawn in the BANK HAHAHAH

  76. uhh muhhh guuhhhdd. Jenny you and your twitter-ers are fucking awesome. love love love the inspiration AND the interpretation. <>

  77. oh the one with the horn basically going through the head, reality check on just why this wouldn’t work.
    Besides unicorns not existing of course.
    But yeah,… I have these pain pills for me back and well, mellows me out enough my husband sounds like Barry White.. seriously. My back feels good enough for sex and well.. let’s get it on.

    (and.. writing this I now realize, “Yes I did take one so I can get a good nights sleep which I should be doing instead of posting about how taking prescribed meds makes me jump my husband”)

    I’m really going to miss the whole Barry White thing after my operation to fix that darn disc.

  78. Unicorns.

    Not Uniporns.

    That’s my motto.

    Your readers are really bent.


    HogsAteMySister recently posted R.I.P. George Jones: Marvin & the Minnows Salute You.

  79. You ask they answer! I love it!! #YouInspire even if it is a little trippy.. LOL

    Candy @ Candypolooza recently posted Holding It Down.

  80. Damn, if only I could draw.

    Jack recently posted Inside the Blogger’s Studio- A Dream, Er Nightmare.

  81. Best. Art. Evan.

    Melissa recently posted The Big Online Wedding Reveal.

  82. *evar.

    Melissa recently posted The Big Online Wedding Reveal.

  83. This may ostracize me from the group here but, I hate unicorns, mermaids, fairies, glitter, balloons, clowns and confetti. I’m not sure why, I’ve had a crazy life. I got punched by a midget once. I’m not proud. Okay, now that I’ve got that off my chest, good night.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  84. Yay! This must be the sweet taste of success that has thus far eluded me in my life. 🙂

    P.S. Yes, I did draw that on my phone, but I sort of cheated since it has a stylus.

    Marina recently posted Use Your Brain.

  85. I really need to check my Twitter account more often.

  86. 87
    Rosalie T

    Thank you for sharing this! It made my day+.

  87. 88
    Lady Penelope

    Is there a medal or an award for best use of the internet?
    Cos you surely just won it!

  88. This makes me wish I was a better artist

    Mark Magness recently posted Charlie’s practically a model!.

  89. I saw that someone posted that this is the historical peak for Twitter and that it’s all downhill from here. Does that make “Frenched the Unicorn” the new “Jumped the Shark?”

    Kara recently posted OWH Sketch 170.

  90. There’s an AWESOME amount of talent out there!!!

    Mona (Moxie-Dude) recently posted Parents These Days – Or – OMG I’m becoming my mother!.

  91. I am sad that I do not know how to tweet. I am a so called cartooner and you sick bastards passed me like I was tied to a tree! I’m so proud of you. All y’all are qualified to ride my bus, I drive the very special bus.

    Geoff Johnston recently posted I Double Dog Dare You.

  92. Is that a fetish already? If not, congratulations on inventing a new fetish!!

    Mayor Gia recently posted Boyfriend Versus HR.

  93. Whoa! Unicorns snogging girls. Having a flashback to a recurring dream I used to have as a teenager…except replace the unicorn with a chicken and the girl with my great grandmother.

    Damien recently posted The Caffeinated Mystery Tour.

  94. Love the last one!

  95. 96
    Tabitha Crow

    Nothing to do with unicorns or snogging, but I just KNOW you will appreciate this wierdness: Start at the bottom and work your way up…

  96. NIce change from cats. Which are evil.

    GeekGoddess recently posted Hint, it never worked well at all…..

  97. They’re all brilliant, but the cosplay one cracks me up.

    Dawnie recently posted Wordless Wednesday - Chicago Comic Con C2E2.

  98. Matthew Gerber’s is hilarious. So is everything else about this post. Only on the internet…

    Cara Lyn Erickson recently posted A Process Which I Like to Call Diarrhuking.

  99. These are full of such win and awesome. I think my favorite is the one by @laylalockstar – so adorbs!

    Colleen recently posted Monday Music Break: Der Hölle Rache (Queen of the Night Aria).

  100. Disturbing.

  101. Hahaha ahh remember when the internet was a normal place? me neither.

    Charlotte @ Commitness to Fitness recently posted The Liebster Award!.

  102. Matthew Gerber…FOR THE WIN!!!!

  103. 104

    It’s amazing how you can rally the troops! Celebrities and The Doctor with twine, frenching unicorns… What’s next?

  104. Oh,i want follow the twitter,I saw that someone posted that this is the historical peak for Twitter and that it’s all downhill from here. my game xcom enemy unknown online is also good .

    enemy unknown recently posted XCOM: Enemy Unknown [Online Game Code] PC Download.

  105. You know what creeps me out more than the drawings? The girl in third drawing looks like me… so now I know what I’d look like frenching a unicorn. (Also, just noticed my last post title includes “unicorn.” Fate?)

    Sonal recently posted Best Links: Tiny Love, Panic Station, and a Unicorn.

  106. Some of those images I cannot rub from my eyes……. 🙂 Thanks for being you! And for the perfect way to start my day.

  107. The one with the horn in the eye….that would totally happen to me.

    Batpoopcrazy recently posted Who the F*&$ took my PMS emergency chocolate bar?????.

  108. You know I’m never going to be able to unsee this again, lol. I might actually have to break my only use twitter once every six months ban to start following you. I did notice all those ladies are a touch on the manish side, or is that some sort of sick side effect from making it with a unicorn?

  109. I like the one by SeriousMarcia the best. Lady Attercop’s cosplay sketch was cool, too. I admire all of these though. I could draw the unicorn, but my people look like demented aliens.

    Sue recently posted Life is pretty quiet.

  110. Love the art. Have you played Robot Unicorn Attack yet? It’s my latest addiction. You can thank me later.

    Lovelyn recently posted It’s a Special Day.

  111. That was way grosser than I even expected!! Aaagh!
    Becky 🙂

  112. Never stop wielding your power for good.

  113. 114

    Gives “horny” a whole new meaning.

  114. I’m laughing so hard I just gagged.

    Adriana recently posted a few things about a few things.

  115. Do you realize what an awesome power you wield? I’ve never seen anything like this.
    In other news, you just made my entire morning.

  116. I saw this on twitter. I came so close to sketching this but there was no way my hands could create the awesomeness that was in my mind. It was all very Lisa Frank.

    Woman_on_Pause recently posted Holy Shit, I quit my job..

  117. Is that what’s called UniPorn?

  118. Wow so many awesome creative people, and I think Roxie comment above has coined a new phrase.

    Vivian recently posted Why Google why?.

  119. is it wrong that i liked the top one by matthew gerber the best? that shit made me laugh out loud. like LOUD.

    c.c. recently posted random quarter: the chill factor edition.

  120. Matthew wins. But then again, I’m sick like that. haha

  121. Is it cray that the first two illustrators had nearly the same vision. Though the second one is all staring at the viewer and saying, “Yeah, that’s right baby. I’m frenchin’ this chic.”

  122. Wait, you haven’t seen Sarah Silverman kiss the Serenading Unicorn?

    (Minute 3:15 if you don’t want to watch the whole video)

  123. ackkkkk – the horn thru the forehead was where my mind went too. kinda creepy.
    Thanks for being here. I check in from work when I’m having a particularly shitty day and you never fail to make me at least snicker(doodle).

  124. Amazing what people will do at the behest of someone else…. love them all.

    Kattie recently posted Sixteenth Appointment.

  125. Hot damn, I would have guessed that the girl should be the unicorn and the dude be making out with her. Clearly I’m the minority on this thought – but I’m also the unicorn. EPIC Ah-ha moment, someone call Oprah!

    FoghornUnicorn recently posted Guess Who Has Jury Duty!!!.

  126. I think the important part in all this is to remember that the cos-play sketch could become its own fetish (with pictures and videos). There’s already ‘pony play’ this would be ‘horny play’ maybe? (Although that may be its own fetish already. I don’t really want to check)

    Vixi Dragon recently posted Arguing with Myself: Rape Prevention.

  127. I knew there had to be a reason for Twitter. It all makes sense now.

  128. that is some tasteful PDA…

    Sharona Zee recently posted Is it about Chocolate Pudding?.

  129. Love it!
    I’m very new to twitter & trying to figure out just what exactly is the point. Thanks for showing me!

  130. i SERIOUSLY LOVE the unicorn poking the girl’s eye out. while being a” not so very artist” rendering, it’s truth speaks volumes. that = artforawesomeness.

  131. I think I may know your blog too well. Because I didn’t see the hashtag or any comments regarding your blog. I just saw a picture of a woman kissing a unicorn and I tweeted the person saying “I bet you follow @TheBloggess and yes, she does.

    Vicky recently posted All that Glitters.....

  132. I love the internet.

    The Hook recently posted A Look Back At The 80s: Hook Style!.

  133. That second drawing reminds me of Eric Northman for some odd reason.

  134. lmao All of the nose-licking and not-touching-tongues! These are so great(ridiculous), especially the Matthew Gerber one.
    (Yeah, that’s already a fetish. I refuse to say how I know that, though. Just… just blame the Bronies and Furries I know.)

    lillibee recently posted Today, for your pleasure, I am Indignant..

  135. I agree. This really IS what Twitter and the internet as a whole is for. WELL DONE, YOU!!!

    P.S. We almost got our very own 5′-tall metal chicken a couple of weekends ago. Apparently, they are taking over the Hy-Vees of Iowa:

  136. 137
    elaine kurpiel

    I can’t stop throwing up.

  137. I was born because a joke was taken too far. Applause to all involved, I feel all cultured up now. And horny. (Pun intended.)

    Julie the Wife recently posted It’s Whoreticulture Friday! Issue 95.

  138. Note to self – Do not play DRAW FREE with Jenny’s twitter friends 🙂

  139. 141
    Unicorn Vomit

    I just adopted a fat Italian greyhound, shes a great dog who has great taste in books….she ripped up my copy and I would love a new one PLEASE!!

  140. I needed to inform you that someone is selling a mini verson of Beyoncé. What is pretty sad is my daughter was asking “Who the hell would buy that”. And all I could think is…Jenny. This little guy is $10. Go get em!

    Samantha recently posted Early boob training is key!.

  141. I feel so inspired after seeing these drawings! If I was an artist, I would mold my interpretation out of clay, and then I would mold my reaction to the molded interpretation.

    I would call it “Unicorn Fondling and Flattery.”

    I think I have an internet crush on all of these artists, but especially Marina Rose Martinez, mostly because she drew it at the bank. I wonder if they thought she was drawing threatening photos, since the unicorn’s “corn” (not to be confused with horn) could be used as a weapon.

    Marina risked becoming a fricking felon just for your contest. Now THAT’S dedication. I wish I had such dedicated fans…or really just fans other than my husband and my mom.

    You’re a lucky gal, Jenny. A lucky gal.

    Lisa Newlin recently posted May the Fourth be with you, and other Star Wars musings.

  142. These pictures totally reminds me of a short story by an awesome Australian author: Nick earls, he wrote a short story called Problems with A Girl and a Unicorn, its awesome!!

  143. That is pretty amazing…wow! Amazingly, I would have never even thought about being french-kissed by a unicorn, but now that I have seen those images, it is all I can do to not wonder. I also see some artists took it to homebase, which is definitely above and beyond any unicorn’s normal duties…be thankful for that.

    Mishka recently posted Fishy Woes.

  144. 146

    Wow. … these images are like an awkward love child of “My Little Ponies” and “The Godfather”. Except the presence of the horse (or a portion of said horse) in the bed in “The Godfather” had a clearer message. These images make me wonder if the message is to wear a raincoat or it’s better to be threatened by crime lords rather than be violated by my little ponies.

  145. 147
    George Olive

    On the subject of unicorns, here is a link to ‘multicorns.’ Rabbits infected with the Shopes papilloma virus causing them to grow horns.

  146. As a bi guy, this set of images is all the sweeter because “unicorn” in sexual deviant circles refers to a hot, available, bisexual girl who is attracted to both you and your partner. (In all honesty, I think horned horses are more common.)

  147. Because I cannot draw a stick figure without it looking like it has a huge, leg-length penis, I had my 13-year-old daughter draw you a unicorn make-out picture, and then realized that it gave me tangible proof that I was a horrible mother. Worse, when I came to tell you how horrible I was…my own internet “parent controls” prevented me from opening this post, which means that I have her drawing picures for a website that I block her from viewing, which either oddly redeems me, or means I’m going to hell…it’s a crapshoot.

    Meg Mc recently posted An argument in favor of extinction..

  148. Oh My God! Jenny, long time reader, first ime commenting…

    I love your blog! You have made my husband and I laugh to the point of tears.

    Had to let you and @MatthewGerber79 know how great his drawing is. Really, All of them were gret, but Matthew… I was laughing so hard, I cold barely breathe. Thanks!!

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