206 thoughts on “I seriously feel freaked out. Nice job, cat.

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  1. She’s just doing it to get in your head. That’s how they win. By getting in your head and scratching around your psyche until you’re completely under their control. How else do you think they get us to dig out their poopies from a box of smelly clay sand?

  2. Haha! Thanks for the afternoon laugh : )

    On an unrelated note – they used the word “stabby” on the TV show Under the Dome a few weeks ago. Made me smile.

  3. I think the WORST is when they focus on an invisible place in a corner of the ceiling. Because HELLO. Everyone knows that’s where all the demon ghosts hang out.

  4. Well, they do say that Cats have one foot in hell already. I’m sure seeing souls is just par for the course for them.

  5. She’s suspicious of you because you keep stealing her poop. No matter how deep she buries it, you always manage to find it. She’s just trying to decipher the depths of your diabolical genius.

  6. My little girl has a death stare. She turns it on me when she’s hungry, not getting pet enough, doesn’t have quite enough of the bed or couch (like, less then 75%), wants to play or just feels like it. How i’m not dead yet is a mystery to both of us.

    Other then trying to kill me with her mind, she’s the sweetest little kitty…

  7. Is that a shoe? Cause my cats love my shoes too, especially if I just took them off and they’re all sweaty and stuff. Not smelly, my feet are not smelly.

  8. Is he just trying to distract you from the fact that he is cuddled up with what appears to be, your shoe?

  9. Yeah, fuck that. I don’t need any animal that can see into my soul and would be down with eating a portion of my face when I die.

  10. If our daughter is the first one to wake up, she does this thing where she stands by the bed and stares at your face until you wake up. My mom calls this her “children of the corn” move.

  11. My cat does that all the time, but pulls his paws up to his chin in a pose that screams “Rub my bell”. But the look in his eye says “Do it and I claw the shit out of you.”

  12. This is why we don’t have a cat. Well, that and my wife has allergies.

    This is one of two reasons why we don’t have a cat. Oh, also we have no space in our house.

    This is one of three reasons… Wait. There’s the cost issue too: Can’t afford this.

    This is among the reasons why we don’t have a cat.

  13. Cats can see into your soul… but dogs drool. And it is not fun to step into a giant puddle of spit. So stick with the cats.

  14. Oh Bloggess! That is nothing compared to the “Ghost face” in my drapes. Check it out on my: Spirits They Are Present page on Facebook! And sure, ok, it’s probably dust, but YOU NEVER KNOW! 😉 HA. And I love the Cat photos, btw!

  15. One of my cats STARES at us all the time. I know he’s plotting bad things, like where he’s going to barf next.

  16. Cats are so adorably agile.
    Watching them sit on top of mirrors and doors then jumping on people is just too funny not to love!
    That being said i still prefer pooches!

  17. Even worse is when they stare just behind you. I’m not sure if there’s an invisible demon behind me or the cat’s just an asshole.

  18. Yeah… I’m gonna need to see a side-by-side of that cat and the animated Grinch.

  19. Catnip? What catnip? We don’t have catnip in the house. Oh. We did? That’s what that baggie was full of? I thought it was dried kale. I was just trying to improve my vitamin K intake.

  20. That cat’s just trying to get you to admit to something. Don’t say anything. They’ll find out something weird about you and then you’re paranoid that they are snickering at you behind your back.

  21. What I hate is when they have that look and they’re laying down at the top of the stairs, waiting for you to descend.

  22. Yes, I’ve never been looked at any way by my dog that doesn’t seem to say, “I love you. I love you. I love you…Can I have a treat?”

  23. That cat is dead, right? Or maybe undead? Because it’s ridiculously creepy and will probably give me nightmares worse than that time I drank a whole bottle of wine and saw the girl from The Ring crawling on my floor in the middle of the night.

    Good times.

  24. Yeah. Sometimes it’s clear that my cat is reading my mind or looking into my tar and guilt covered soul and casting extremely harsh feline judgment. I just wish it didn’t always happen when I’m crapping, showering, or eating waffles.

  25. Hannibal The Fluffball Of Doom, my black longhair, not only sees my soul, he insists on sucking the breath out of any stray babies he encounters. It’s his contribution to ZPG.

  26. She IS laying on one of your shoes, yes? She can definitely see your soul. She can see and feel it through your sole. They see so so much when they roll around on and sniff your shoes.

  27. Right after these pictures were taken, the cat jumped straight up in the air and tore around the room like it was on drugs before coming to a stop on top of the television.

  28. that’s actually why i have cats. but that look does look similar to some of my cat’s looks, including ‘i just pooped, so i’m running around chirruping like a maniac’, ‘i’m about to jump up and attack the side of your head, pulling out much of your hair in the process’, and, one of my personal favorites, ‘i swear it was one of the other cats’.

  29. @Ragemichelle. I got a tattoo when I turned 50. My childhood was filled with kittens.

  30. I have that cat’s sister at my house right now! Getting that look this morning. Moved to a new house and won’t let her outside anymore. (Even though I built her a $1500 new super cat enclosure.) She is trying to hypnotize me to change my mind. In between sessions she is telling me and most of the new neighborhood that she is seriously pissed off and hates her family!

  31. OMG! I know! I have two cats and I am glad that one of them is a “pirate cat”. She always looks “swarmy” but in a kind way. She did freak me out yesterday when she was sleeping with her good eye open.

    My dog either looks at me with tons of love or with tons of pity. I think she knows that I am insane.

  32. See, I’m thinking the conversation might need to be more like:

    Hey, human. Why do you keep taking my picture? No seriously, quit it. I’ve got serious bedhead and a catnip hangover. STOP TAKING MY PICTURE. I GIVE YOU EVIL EYE.

  33. My pet chameleon can stare into your soul with one eye and with the other look at a leaf, watch a fly or stare at the floor. Then switch eyes, just in case.

  34. Funny, Cats are seriously up to something..I don’t know what they are planning yet but its going to be somethign big. Thanks for the laugh.

  35. Oh no — my parents have a Brittany that is evil. It really comes out whenever you try to take her picture. If you can catch her asleep she looks all cute and innocent then the view screen clears and she’s awake and looking straight at you with a look that says “I can totally rip our your throat as you sleep, bitch.” That dog is Satan’s spawn.

  36. we call that “the crazy eyes” and our Lily Mae gets that look often.
    she’s a little mental…..very OCD, but super lovey and adorable.

  37. OMG he looks just like Smokey our Norwegian Forrest Cat!!!!!! I love that look, with the dark charcoal around his eyes he looks like he just stepped out of an 80s new wave band. And…. I give the look right back at him. No one wins a stare down with someone who learned from a cat.

  38. Nope. The first week after I moved into my house (which was built in 1889 six doors down from a Civil War cemetery), my dog refused to go in certain rooms and would bark at random spots on the wall. She still won’t go in some parts of the house without me. The cat, on the other hand, was cool as a cucumber, and never showed the slightest bit of fear in exploring the house.

    Unless the dog was trying to protect me from the evil spirits and the cat was just willing to sacrifice me… You know what? Never mind.

  39. One of my dogs will stare at my other half all evening and completely freak them out.

    Possibly better than my old malamute who would try to glare you awake with her psychic powers and when that failed (because the humans were obviously and inferior form of life who don’t respond to malamute mind control) would upscale to thumping you in the face with a really large paw.

  40. My cat likes to sit on my chest at night and stare at the wall above me. Sometimes she will even move her eyes like she is tracking something across the wall. There is never anything there but she always has me looking around for whatever she is looking at. It always ends with me saying, “Stop that! You’re freaking me out!”

    I think that means she won.

  41. My kitty wears plastic grocery bags as a cape. I think she thinks she can see its soul. I wouldn’t be alarmed until you get that look and then they point at you. That is when they have won.

  42. I don’t mind when they can see my soul, it’s when they try to sniff it while I’m asleep that bothers me. (Sneaky little buggers!)

  43. A bit too much catnap, perhaps. It would scare the crap out of me if I had a cat that looked at me like that. I’m not even sure I will be able to sleep tonight after looking at those photos. Freaky!

  44. OMG, I so get this! Long-time lurker (you rock, by the way) and cat owner. I just saved a photo of our two cats outside the other day, and from a distance they looked all like, “Yay, we’re friends,” until you zoom in and in and…in…and you see the older cat’s face looking at our teenager cat, and he’s totally showing like ALL of his fangs in the wickedest cat snarl. He looks like a vampire cat screaming “Ahhhh! Get OFF me!!”

  45. OMG… how did you get into my house and get a picture of my cat, Buster, doing this?

    Well, okay. So it isn’t the carpet in my house, so it’s not Buster. But Buster does this, and precisely this, often. And winks. And attacks the wall. And his brother, Moh (who is really his brother/littermate).

    They creep me the effffff out, quite often.

  46. My cat does the same shit. Even looks like yours. Does yours plot your destruction, too? Mine does. If she grows thumbs, I’m a goner.

  47. My dogs look like that when they are sniffing and rolling around in the piles of dirty, smelly clothes on the floor as I sort the laundry. When they try to stand up and walk away, they get all stagger-y like they are drunk…It’s hilarious to watch.

  48. Dogs sense your soul, then they drape their chin on your lap and drool toilet water on your pants. You feel like an elevated species and your self confidence improves, the dog has done its job.

  49. If dogs are man’s best friend, then cat’s are that guy who owes you money and sleeps on your couch for like a month and eats all your food while you’re at work.

  50. This is my first comment I leave on your blog. Should have done that a while ago. But the evil cat eyes convinced me to write here.
    First: The cat is adorable, even if it looks like the devil.
    Second: Your blog is mindblowing. I’m already addicted!
    Cheers from Istanbul!

  51. Remember how in “Ghost” Demi Moore’s cat could see Patrick Swayze? And it was just like a given, because cats. I’ve spent most of my life thinking that whenever cats fixate just over your shoulder or freak out at nothing it’s because they’re seeing DEAD PEOPLE.

  52. Dogs have owners, cats have staff!!! He is waiting on you to probably serve him something.. cause lord knows the rule the house.

  53. OMG!!! My cat always always looks like this no matter what. I have had delivery people ask- why does she look so shocked?

  54. My guess is that the cat saw your Harry Potter collection and is warning you that he does not want you to view him as a possible addition to the ensemble 😉

  55. My basement (which already kinda freaks me out since I’m originally from CA so my only basement references are from horror movies, plus basements are a bad idea in earthquake zones) is kind of circular. If you walk down the stairs, you can make right turns the whole way through until you are back at the stairs. I convinced myself a guy lives down there, but I’ll never find him because he just needs to stay one room ahead of me. When my cat startles & looks at the basement door, I know the basement guy is either on the move or my cat is trying to give me a nervous breakdown!

  56. on a mildly unrelated note, here is an entry from “The daily rant” (she is a trucker) with pictures from Duncan Arizona as she drove through town. In the bottom of the 3 pictures I believe we can see Beyonce’s cousin. Apparently there is not a lot to eat in Duncan as this chicken is less metal filled. Taller though I think. Even with the lack of food the rooster has kept his color nice showing that getting the ladies is still important. It’s also possible that the weight loss is to stay cooler in the desert heat but I think Texas is hot as well so probably that isn’t it.


  57. Clearly the cat who was inhaling the ‘nip you gave it has started dealing to the other feline inhabitants of your home.
    On a related note – I would totally prefer my cats to look at ME and my soul like this, than have the sleeping-soundly-then-suddenly-instantly-alert-and-staring-towards-the-door-with ears-twitching-yet-no-noise-audible-to-humans kind of shit that I get from my lot that always has me freaking out that the boogeyman is quietly coming to get me.

  58. love cats but have dogs, cats can be freaky, they are independent and do only their own bidding.

  59. A wise woman (my mom) once told me. “Cats see things we can’t. Be afraid. Be seriously afraid”

  60. We have a rat terrier that we swear is part cat. We call him a cat terrier. He doesn’t care. It’s the cat in him.

  61. That IS creepy. Stop it Rollie! (I hope I spelled that right)

    In other news, thank you so much for your advice about saying goodbye to my best friend, Tripoli. You answered my question during the “ask me anything” thing, and I took some of your advice, but not all of it. We went alone. It was peaceful. I cried. A fvcking lot. And it’s been two weeks, three hours, and 40 minutes. Not that I’m counting or anything.

  62. we no longer has the kitten of cats but my loki, he is of the husky persuausion has these white eyes that he just stares at you with. you can ask him and ask him what he wants and he doesnt tell you finally you break down and ask him if he wants a twinkie * thank gods twinkies are back thank you hostess* and he goes apeshit. Go figure… perhaps he wants a twinkie

  63. Was seriously waiting for the story to follow of how you obtained a stuffed kitty…those pics looked like your taxidermied friends 🙂 Glad to hear kitteh is alive and well.

  64. Aww he’s just trying to telepathically tell you to rub his belly. It’s safe, see? He swears it’s safe. Dooo it. No harm will befall you. Serious. Pet the belly. Look at allllllll the soft fur.

  65. Sorry to tell you – dogs do it to. There is this picture I think of every time the name Karla Homolka comes up – it freaks me out. Our new dog gives me that look every time he looks at me – and only me – he does it for no one else. How did he know?

  66. I think I would just stare right back at him until he got uncomfortable and turned his head away. Cats are just like people in that they get uncomfortable maintaining direct eye contact for too long.

  67. Hey, Bloggess and Bloggess Peeps, I need some help! I have a friend who just had to check herself into a hospital, and I’m searching for the perfect Bloggess post to help her see that she’s not alone, that depression lies, and that Jenny will make her laugh so hard that milk and xanax will spew out of her nose.

    Do you remember a specific post that helped you? A post you think is perfect for a Bloggess newbie? Send me ideas! Please, Please, Please!

  68. Dogs can see your soul, too, but they have figured out that the people are the ones who control the treat flow, so they hide it better. Less obvious soul-seeing = more doggie treates.

  69. @Stephanie in comment 155, I’m sorry to hear your friend is in the hospital, but glad she’s getting help. Clearly, the Beyonce story is a must-read just to make her laugh, but the recent post about the things that make Jenny happy and everyone else’s comments about what makes them happy is pretty great. (the title is something like “Kinda like Oprah, but for poor people.” ) You can’t read them and not either be happy by association or just occasionally think “OMG, me too. I love THAT!” whatever THAT is.

  70. Well at least he isn’t staring at something hovering 3 feet above your shoulder or somewhere random on the ceiling. That could be “someone else’s” soul…or maybe a demon from hell but at the very least something other worldly…floating there. woooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOooooo

  71. so once upon a time a cat killed my father.

    alright. that never happened. but it probably HAS happened. and that’s what we have to keep in mind.

  72. The dogs aren’t any better. Mine runs around like it’s crazy, sleeps under the covers with my kid (steals them, actually because apparently dogs are blanket HOGS) , and still hasn’t learned that no, I would not like you to lick me. Also, either my neighbors across the street are secretly evil and trying to kill me or my dog is just a little bit overprotective. 😉

  73. No matter what anyone says, you can never post too many cat pictures. These are great. I really wanted to print the last one to leave on a co-worker’s desk but no matter how I tried, only the first two pix would print. So I think your cat does have some kind of supernatural powers!

  74. Stephanie in #155 –

    The comedic ones are fantastic. However, if you’re looking something more on-topic – If you search on the little searchy thingy in the upper left corner for the tag “Depression Lies” it’ll turn up lots of posts Jenny wrote about her own battles, the battles of others, and ways to try to get through it.

    You can look through them and see if any might help your friend.

    Best of luck to both of you – sending love and support to you through the internet.

  75. This is one of the reasons I have dogs instead of cats. Although waking up with a cold nose in your face is almost as startling. And dogs can give you a good stare down. Only, it’s not a scary stare.

  76. Diabolical…cats are assholes generally. Purrrrr, purrrr, then wack, they nail ya’.
    Dogs are so predictable…give me some love, I love you, can we have a nap together?

  77. I once had a cat that would climb my mother in law like a tree… So that was pretty cool. But, it was always awkward when she tried to eat babies.

    You have to go ahead and weigh the pros and cons before you buy a pet.



  78. So I just spent the last 2 days at the office reading every blog entry ever written here. I think it’s suffice to say that with all the random laughter coming from my office, if my co workers didn’t know what to make of me before they really don’t now! Conversations between you and Victor are by far my favorite!

  79. Cats are also painfully aware when you are allergic to them… Not only that, they take great pleasure of sitting opposite you and giving you a look that says “One little bit of contact with me and you will spend the rest of the night struggling to breathe in hospital… I know this and I plan on using this information against you… Not yet… No, I’m biding my time. But the day is coming. And when it does, I shall take great delight in killing you.”


  80. …and she told The Man Thing last night “fuck you” when he told her to move over and give him some room on the bed. She’s a smart ass like that.

  81. That cat is so funny. My cat is the same trying to scary people if you want to take her place on the bad. I am sure that cat thinks she is the human and I am there for her convinience lol

  82. Believe me…dogs have their moments too. Different moments…but moments. I have pugs, so imagine the eye popping that goes on here!

  83. There’s something behind you you can’t see. Clearly. Or your cat would not be making the horror movie face. Unless the cat’s trying to freak you out.

    My cat likes to stare me awake sometimes. I’ll open my eyes feeling like something’s wrong and be looking at incredibly close-up cat face. Also a disturbing phenomenon.

  84. There’s so many things wrong with cats, but at the center of it all, is their inherent evil nature. And the fact that they steal the souls of infants simply by breathing on them.

  85. What freaked ME out, is that I have the same cat!!! Thought it was a picture of Coal at first.

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