So, yeah…

So I just turned in the first full draft of my next book and I’m simultaneously relieved, ecstatic and terrified (because that means the next step is editing, and editing is hard because all the usual voices in my head telling me that I’m shit turn into real voices from real people, although the voices of editors are much more kind and are more like, “This is great, but have you ever considered using commas?  Because most people find them quite nice.”

Regardless, the first giant hurdle is done and so it looks like the book will probably come out this year.  Yay!  And you should go buy the first one so you’ll better understand the second one, but I have to warn you that it’s confusing for most normal people so if you’re normal then maybe just read it in another language and then you’ll have a perfect reason to say why you don’t get it.  It comes out in Polish in a few months and I just saw the cover and there’s a bear on it.  And it’s a very nice bear and I was happy to approve it, but the weird thing is that I don’t actually remember a bear being in the book.  So basically I’m confused about my own book.  So now I know what other people feel like when they read me.

I’d put a picture here but I don’t know if I’m allowed to, so instead I’m going to put this gif of Hunter S. Thomcat and Ferris Mewler playing in an empty cardboard box.

unnamed

Subtitles:  “Come in here.”  “No.”  “Come in here.”  “NO.”  “GET THE SHIT IN HERE.”

Also, I have a ton of half-written posts that I never finished because I was distracted by procrastination and so now I’m going to try to write them all up, so you’re probably going to see a bunch of weird stuff that might make me seem more ADD and manic than usual, but it’s not a cry for help.  It’s sort of weird that I have to clarify that.

But (yay!) I’m finished with the book I’ve been writing for the last two years (for a few seconds at least) and to celebrate (and to thank you for sticking with me even when I go kind of crazy) I’m going to give away a few autographed copies of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.  Just leave a comment and I’ll pick a few randomly.  Or if you don’t want my book I’ll send you a gift card and you can buy Allie’s.  It’s quite good.  Or you can read this one.  It’s made for kids but if you don’t read children’s or YA books you’re missing out on a lot of good shit.  Just saying.

1,439 thoughts on “So, yeah…

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Hooray for the second book getting another step closer to being in my hands! I can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  2. CONGRATULATIONS! I can relate since I just finished mine, but I am still looking for a professional editor. I can’t wait to hand it off! The critique will come later. gulp

  3. Congrats on the book! I loved the first one. I had mentioned buying it to my sister and the next day it was waiting for me on my doorstep! Gotta love a sister who never questions your choice of reading material.

  4. Yay, you for finishing your second book!! I would love a signed copy of your book. I don’t think there is anyone who follows you who wouldn’t want your book.

    Cats and cardboard boxes = endless entertainment.

  5. Congrats on finishing book 2! I can’t wait to read it, you’re first book was like you were in my brain, no confusion here what-so-ever.

  6. You are awesome, as always! Can’t wait to read the new book. Last week I experienced a much darker spate of depression than I normally have and I used some techniques in some of your posts to cope…then I spent 2 hours poking through your Pinterest pages (and wherever else that took me), laughing my ass off.

    I guess I’m just trying to say–you make me smile, laugh and help with the real shit too. 🙂

  7. Congrats, I haven’t read the 1st one yet, but it’s bought and on top of the (physical) to read pile.

  8. Congratulations! As a journalist who is finding it hard to be motivated, I know how amazing it feels to finish!

  9. I can honestly say that you have helped me get through some serious shit in my life. I think you are fabulous and i <3 you. I cannot wait until your next book comes out!!!!! I am making a goal to go to a signing 🙂
    Allie’s book was awesome sauce as weel 🙂

  10. I can’t wait for the next one! Congratulations! Also would love to win an autographed version of the first one, let’s be honest.

  11. WOW! That’s great! I’m constantly writing a book in my head, but it never seems to make its way on to the paper! Can’t wait to read it.

  12. Congrats, you are done! I loved the first one and Allie’s book. Seeing you here on tour was also fantastic. I can’t wait till this one is out. Thanks for braving the critics and editors for us.

  13. Sigh. I still haven’t had a chance to wad the first one!

    Must go borrow it.

    🙂 congratulations!

  14. Such exciting news! I loved the first so much. Legit laughed to tears at some points. Cannot wait for the next one 🙂

  15. My kids are home for the 38947389247th snow day this year, and we’re trapped inside because it’s all nasty and icy out, and I feel like I’m slowly going completely insane … but I just thought you should know that the fact that you’re going to have a second book — and that it might even come out THIS YEAR — makes today infinitely more bearable somehow. So thank you.

  16. I haven’t gasp read your first book yet, so commenting in hopes of winning a copy! 😀 I kept hoping to make it to a tour stop and get my copy then, it just never happened.

  17. You linked to three awesome books in the post! What else is worth reading (other than your next book which I will have to wait for)?

  18. Let’s hear it for another round of giggling out loud like a lunatic whilre riding public transportation! Can’t wait for the new one.

  19. Good job on turning in that draft! I still refer to your book as “the one that made me laugh so hard I almost died” to my husband. I can’t wait to read the next book!

  20. I just love the five minutes when the all encompassing Stuff is finished, before you replace it with even more stuff

    And also is love a book :p

  21. Books are the best things in the world. I’m o glad there is a second and that I can get my hands on it in less than 365 days. Commas are overrated. Also, March 16 is my 2 years without cutting so you should like party your socks off 🙂

  22. I would love a copy of your book. I’ve read it but I checked it out from the library so I would love a copy to loan to my friends and family (plus to read again myself).

  23. I am so excited about your next book! And I totally understood the first one. Actually, that’s a scary thought. Anyway, love your writing, your blog and, yes. Your neuroses.

  24. I have the kindle version of your book, but would love a hard copy… I like the smell of real books and tablets just can’t replicate it… maybe they should look into a “book smell” app… somebody invent that shit…

  25. HUGE fan from Mexico over here!

    I loved your book. It changed the way I thought about myself. It made me understand that life’s imperfections and weird moments are the ones that define who we are.

    I learned to embrace my imperfections, awkwardness, and crazy-ass weirdness and actually appreciate them.

    Thank you for everything!

  26. Huzzah!!!! And congratulation on finishing the second book : D. I am so looking forward to it!

  27. Yay! Congrats on sorta finishing the second book! Loved the first and am definitly looking forward to this one!

  28. Yay! I haven’t read your first book yet either. Stupid things like food and rent taking all my money.

  29. YEAH a 2nd book:) would love to have a hard copy of the first one:) i have the e-book and well it hurts my eyes:)

  30. please release the audio version at the same time… I can not read the written word.. my wife will think I am cheating!

  31. Please send me a copy… I had a hardcover but it was stolen because of awesome. It was too good, and my mom or my sister took it but they’re not talking so I’m suffering. Basically, it’s your fault I’m out the book so you kinda owe me.

  32. Can’t wait for the next book, I totally laughed until I cried while reading the first one! Happy to be “not normal” so I totally got it!

  33. HUGE congrats on finishing and turning in the book! Can hardly wait to read it! (I’m sure the editors just sprinkle commas on when you aren’t looking, anyway. Don’t sweat the commas. Me, I suck like a Dyson. Writing-wise, I mean. sigh I have to go now…)

  34. YAY! And here I am editing stories for my lit mag. I promise we editors try to be nice, and everything we say is us trying to make you look your absolute best. (Even if we get frustrated about the comma thing sometimes.) Congrats on the new book!

  35. I am pandering for an autographed copy of your book. I bawl every time I read it. It is tragic and hilarious. I have purchased copies and sent them to strangers on Twitter. I think you are a hero!

  36. I already own both your book and Allie’s, because you are both awesome sauce, but I haven’t yet read Kate DiCamillo’s newest (although I have read a few others of hers – Despereaux was so lovely).

    Congrats on finishing the draft of the new book.

  37. Ohhh, so excited for you that you finished your book…and can hardly wait to read it! Read your 1st book twice. 😀

  38. I’m so proud, and your publisher had a crazy awesome turnaround time if they can get it out this year. I can’t wait.

    Thank you for being so awesome, and I look forward to more hilarious things to read. 😀

  39. I have your first book by my bed, waiting for me to finish the one I am reading now. So if you pick me, I guess I will go with Allie’s. 🙂

  40. Bravo! Best wishes for gentle editing. (You can pay forward if I win–I own your book, and Allie’s). Thanks!

  41. I chose your first book as my book club’s read-of-the-month in summer 2012. We laughed so hard we cried!! Can’t wait for the new one.

  42. Maybe the bear is referencing the fact that you ‘bear all’ in your book.
    Very exciting! And I feel for you on the editing bit. Or I would if I could find anyone to edit my stuff. I get all ready for the criticisms and then I just get a few comments about the tense I use and NOTHING USEFUL to make my writing readable.

  43. I would die if I was picked. Jenny, you are so amazing! My friend (ex friend now), STOLE my copy of your first book. I WANT IT BACK. She claims she doesn’t have it. Whore. Anyways, I’d love to win a signed copy, so if I see her next I can be all “oh yeah, I have a signed copy”, and when she says hers isn’t signed I can be all “AH HA, I knew you stole it!”. See, this needs to happen.

  44. cannot wait for the second book! I recommend the first one to everyone…when they are finished some of them look at me weird.

  45. Congrats! The editing process can be scary, but remember…YOU wrote a book – not everyone can do that.

  46. I already have a signed copy of your book, I just wanted to congratulate you. WOOHOO!! Go Jenny, you did it! Congratulations!

  47. Congratulations on completing your book! I am in awe of anyone who can write a book! I feel like if I wrote my life story people would be nodding off after the first page or two, maybe sooner. But I suppose that it could be a good marketing gimmick. You know, something like “Having trouble sleeping?! Well we have got a cure for you! Read Lyn’s book! We guarantee that you will be sleeping like a baby in no time!”. I find my life story fascinating and often relive moments and think about what I should have done or said differently. Come to think of it, perhaps that is how I torture myself.

  48. Congratulations! (I tend to make epic typos, and I originally typed conratulations, which also seems appropriate, somehow…)

  49. Big Congrats for getting this far, and can’t wait to see your random posts… 🙂

  50. Poor Ferris Mewler. Orange cats can be soooo mean, just ask my two non-orange cats.

  51. Congratulations!! I’m STILL struggling with finishing my first…damn nasty internal editor. Sigh. Can’t wait to pick up the new one…I’ll have to re-read Let’s Pretend in the meantime. 🙂

  52. Yay, you! Glad I’m not the only adult who enjoys my kids books. My DD and I read Flora & Ulysses aloud, parts of it made me tear up. Love me some Kate DiCamillo. Also Mo Willems– I am sad that my DD is too old for his target audience, but we always read his new books whne they come out anyway because hs makes us giggle. Plus we NEED to find the pigeon. Allie’s book was great, too.

    Can’t wait to read your new book!

  53. Can’t wait for the next one!!!! When can it be pre-ordered? I have you first, but would love an autographed copy!

  54. Editing sucks for most people so don’t sweat that. Your voice will shine through, and copy editors are often geniuses, and we love you so it’s all going to be okay. Pinky-swear!

  55. Yay! I’m doing a victory dance with you…only, it’s in my head, because I can actually dance in my head, but not so much for real. Anyway, can’t wait to read it!

  56. YAY! for finising your book! I look forward to reading it. I love your first book. I’ve also read Allie’s and I agree, it’s great. Now I’m all interested in the other book listed! It looks like something I MUST have.

  57. Congratulations! But I’m still biting my thumb in wonder over “itchy cat nipples.”

  58. I am super eager to read this new one because now possibly I might be able to catch you on this book tour instead of being dumb and missing it for work again.

  59. Way to go!! It is awesome that you are done and yes editing can be annoying, but you wrote it. That is a lot more than most people have done!

  60. I’m fortunate enough to have a copy of your book with a bookplate you signed for me when you were in PDX. But I’d sure love a copy of Allie’s!! Funds are right right now, or I’d have bought it already.

    Woohoo on finishing book 2!!

  61. Currently I spend my days reading dating profiles and re-writing them for Match.com. I’d love to win a copy of your book because even though the profiles often give me a laugh, it’s not a pee-pants laugh, it’s more of a, “oh bless your heart, sir or ma’am, I can’t believe you actually put that in your profile,” kind of laugh. Make me laugh the good kind of laugh again, Jen!.

  62. What a freaking awesome accomplishment, again!
    I’d rather you autograph a cat and send it to me but a book would be the next best thing.

  63. Congratulations! Really looking forward to your new book. Allie Brosh’s is in the same galaxy of awesomeness.

  64. Congrats on your book! I absolutely loved the first one (and it is my go-to for gifts for people) and am so excited for your next one to come out! 🙂

  65. I have to admit I’ve already purchased and read your first book and I cannot wait for the second one!! Would love to have a signed copy for my bookshelf though, I only have the digital version currently. Love you! 😀

  66. I would love one before it comes out in Polish with another strangely disturbing animal on the cover:)

  67. Can’t wait to read your next book. Try not to doubt yourself. We all think we write shit. And we may even think it’s shit after it’s published. But other people don’t. So, there’s something. Congratulations!

  68. I bet you get a million comments from people wanting a copy of your book. I already have a copy – but I would love an autographed copy!

  69. Yay! Good for you! I can’t wait to read it. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened helped me out on so many bad days.

  70. I would love an autographed copy of your first book and can’t wait to read the second. Congratulations finishing the first draft!

  71. Fantastic! Congrats! I have a well loved copy of Let’s Pretend, but it is always out on loan to someone in my family :). I would love a copy to selfishly keep on my bookshelf!

  72. Yea! A new book! Please pick me to receive LPTNH because I am the biggest procrastinator and I’m too poor to buy one.
    (Not really poor. More like a horrible liar.)

  73. I’m going to buy your book a fourth time. My hardcopy keeps getting loaned out then inexplicably is missing.
    So then I got it from amazon, but i need a copy with the extra chapter cuz sometimes I’m ocd like that.
    On your next book, please do a sighning in Tucson AZ. I promise I’ll ditch work to be there.

  74. Just finished your first book, found out I exist in a world where there are other people like me. Most appreciated.

  75. I think you need a tee shirt in your shop that says “I’m sorry but I was distracted by procrastination”. I’d buy it. Oh and your next book, too sweetie because you are the bomb!

  76. Yay! Good for you! I can’t wait to read it. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened got me through so many bad days.

  77. Funny you should mention a bear. I just finished reading the chapter in your book when you talk about your miscarriages and the wonderful birth of Hailey, when you talk about what the doctor would find during your first ultrasound and you mention the baby being twins, triplets, a Republican or A SMALL BEAR! There you go. THAT explains the bear on the Polish book cover.

  78. I was at a discount store the other day and saw a frisbee that had a phallus on it and wanted to buy it for u but figured that’d be super weird or maybe Victor might get super jealous cuz it was a pretty big phallus. Maybe it was a banana but it totally looked like a phallus. Either way you should be totally stoked that you were the first person i thought of when i saw the banana phallus frisbee.

  79. Oh my! You are on a roll today! I seriously talk about you and Beyonce (the chicken) on a weekly basis. It is now how me and the lady I order office supplies from start all of our conversations. Congrats on the step forward on your new book!!

  80. SO EXCITING!! I’m gonna make my work book club read it when it comes out. (I work with awesome people.)

  81. How exciting! Congratulations on finishing the second book! I haven’t read your first one yet, so I would love to win a copy of it!

  82. I can’t wait to keep my husband awake with my cackling laughter when I read your second book, like I did when I read your 1st!
    Congratulations, Jenny! <3

  83. Yayyyy! So excited for the book to come out. The editors may be scary, but in the end it is all worth it. Just remember, you are awesome & nobody can take that away. 🙂

  84. Congrats on the second book being almost ready to be printed! That is awesome! 🙂

    (It’s so, so far from ready to be printed. But with a few months of editing, deleting and rewriting…fingers crossed. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  85. Your first book is like you took my voice out of my head and wrote it down. That probably scares you. It scared me at first, but now I feel pretty good about it, because it’s like I have a twin who does not know that I exist. Only, sometimes I wonder if everyone feels that way about your writer’s voice and so maybe I don’t have a twin, only an author that I like and identify with. My husband refuses to change his name to Victor and that’s probably good because it would be a little creepy. Anyway – I cannot wait to read the new book! By the way, I read your first book to my children. I know – adult language, but they know that I cuss and they cuss in the house just not outside of the house (ok, in the car, too). They loved it!

  86. “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” is on my list of FAVORITE books of all time! I’ve been a voracious reader for over 50 years and I laughed so much when I read that book that I had to switch to water-proof mascara because the tears were staining my face! When I read your blog I can picture every character in your life because your writing is THAT GOOD!

  87. There IS a bear. It’s a dead bear raised up out of the way on a table. I may or may not have read your book a thousand times…

  88. I’m leaving a comment even though I am pretty sure you wouldn’t post to Australia. But I just wanted to let you know the first piece of yours I read was the one where you bought the bear head and I laughed so hard I had to close my office door because I’m a school counsellor and I was afraid they might have thought I’d lost my mind, in there by myself cackling with tears rolling down my cheeks. You funny.

  89. Well done, lady! Way to hit a major milestone. I would luuuuuurve a signed copy of yer book if you see fit to give one to me. 😀

  90. Can’t wait for the second book, the first one has now been recommended to every person that mentions, even vaguely, that they read in any form. A signed copy would be amazing! Also, apologies on behalf of Canada for all the hassle coming to talk to us in Winnipeg last month. i know we had nothing to do with it, but apologizing is part of our cultural heritage. We can’t help it.

  91. Congratulations! (And I’m really looking forward to reading that.)

    I already have your first book, and even though it’s not signed, if I should win, please just send it to somebody who really needs a good laugh. But sign it to me anyway, I hear that’s nearly traditional by now…

  92. Ooooo sweet. I had your book on my Kindle and then my Kindle tried to die a horrible death and when I brought it back to life, all my books were gone. It made me super sad because I hadn’t had a chance to read your’s yet.

  93. Congrats on finishing your second book. I read your blog faithfully and it always puts a smile on my face. So, thank you! 🙂

  94. So the voices in our head turn into real people? Damn, there goes my magnum opus for another 30 or so years.

    Congratulations!! I hope you know how much you rock.

  95. Congratulations on finishing your book! Just remember:do Hemmingway said the first draft of anything is shit, so if it’s shit, you’re on the right track! 🙂

  96. Yay new book! I should really go get a copy of your current one, it’s just painful trying to get decent stuff where I live and postage is a bitch.

  97. Yay!!! Congratulations on finishing the new book! Can’t wait to read it!

  98. I agree that YA books have a lot of good shit. Anyway, leaving a comment because I am very much in need of a copy of your book, so this is impetus for you to pick me (ooh ooh, pick me, pick me!). Of course, should you not pick me, I’ll probably buy a copy anyway because a) I want to read it and 2) I’m going on vacation soon and love to take good books with me on vacations. The fact that I’m going to buy it even if you don’t send me one shouldn’t be an incentive for you not to send me one, though!

  99. Congratulations on finishing your second book! I haven’t yet read the first but I definitely plan to!

  100. My husband bought me your first book for Christmas and I think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I seriously read whole chapters out to him! To be honest it’s gotten us through some tough times lately so for that I’d like to say thank you ( things still aren’t great btw so please hurry up with the next book).

  101. Ohh . . . a signed copy – that would be awesome. Do you think Hunter S. Thomcat would sign it too?

  102. Can’t wait to read the new book. My mom gave me your first one which is awkward and awesome all at the same time!

  103. Well done on finishing your second book!! I’ve read your first book so I am a fan and I’ll definitely be reading your new one when it is published. Also thanks for brightening up my day and making me feel like I’m not alone in my abnormality.

  104. Dearest Bloggess,

    I am amazed that you wrote a second book!!! I am working on my Masters, I also work as an RN, and I too, am a tad crazy… I never bought your book because I feel GUILTY reading anything but school work, but your blog keeps me going, THANK YOU!!!! much love and even more success!!! bun

  105. LOVED “Let’s Pretend this Never Happened”!!! Got the audio version and hearing it read by you made reading your blog even better! Can’t wait for book number 2!

  106. Hooray!! I’m so proud of you for finishing another book, and I can’t wait to read it!

  107. I only just discovered you a few months ago, and because of that I have not yet experienced “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. So I have to say Congrats!
    and editing shouldn’t be too traumatic!

  108. Wasn’t there a picture of a bear your dad was working on that was elevated to the roof of a garage on the book?

  109. I lent my copy of Lets Pretend to a friend and I don’t know if I will ever get it back. Please pick me! And I can’t wait to read your new book!

  110. Woohoo! I’m so excited for your next book. I was in Vegas with my family, and I brought your book to share, but when my sister tried to take it home I told her she would have to be REALLY careful, since you had signed it. She decided instead to just buy it herself. I’ll have to check out Flora & Ulysses. My son is a huge reader and would probably appreciate it, thanks 🙂

  111. Good for you Jenny-can’t wait! I go to the library several times a week (sometimes for books/sometimes to pick up my teens who are “studying” with their girlfriends). Each time I’m there, I discreetly take your book off the shelf, walk over to their fancy-shmancy display case, and remove whatever it is they want the good folks of NH to read, and I place your book on the pedestal where it belongs. You’re the best

  112. I love both your and Allie’s books! I always look forward to a new post from you so having a new book will be awesome.
    Congrats on getting the first draft out! Is it kind of like packing… You know how you are so organized when you start and everything is in a box properly labeled and by the end you are just wanting to be done so you are throwing all kinds of leftover crap into boxes labeled “miscellaneous” and you’ve no idea what you are going to find when you open it? I’ve never written a book, but I think that is how I’d feel.

  113. I love(d) your book!!! It granted me many odd looks on a flight to Atlanta and then back when it first came out. I feel like I should book a flight just so can I repeat the experience with book #2 – any suggestions?

  114. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read the second book! I loved the first one and recommend it regularly.

  115. Congratulations! You should give me a signed copy of your book, because I only have an Ebook version of it and how can you sign on of those?

  116. Ooh, pick me, me, me, me! I don’t have your first book yet – I read the library copy.

  117. Congratulations! I’m not sure what would be scarier: book one or book two!
    From a reading perspective, I can’t wait 🙂

  118. Yay!!! Congrats! Would LOVE and autographed copy! Also, keep lil old Spokane WA, in mind when it’s time to book tour! Be fun to have you visit up this way!!!

  119. This is how I found your book. I got a Kindle and was browsing biographies cause that”s what I like to read. Your book popped up. I liked the title and the Mouse with the cape so I bought it. Best thing ever. I told my Sister and Cousins about it. They all wanted to borrow it. But its on a Kindle so i cant do it. A few months passed and my son came home for a visit. I was telling him about this great book I read by Jenny Lawson. Of course he was only half listening to me as twitter had his attention. So I’m telling him about your conversations with Victor. Me….Victor….Me…..Victor. Well, he stopped dead in his tracts and said “Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess? I said “yea, that’s what I have been saying”. He showed me a photo taken at the farewell party of The Best Show on WFMU. Someone gave him a framed stained glass mouse with a cape. He said it was your book cover. My son is @betheboy

  120. Nothing — NOTHING IN THE WORLD, and yep, that includes orgasms, the miracle of birth, and the discovery of salt caramels — has ever felt better to me than finishing the first draft of my first book. It was the sweetest moment I’ve ever known. And now I, too, am working on my second. I hope yours is a rollicking success! Congratulations, Jenny, and so much aloha to you.

  121. Yay for the new book! If you happen to select me to receive the signed copy of the first one, I will treasure it always. I will hug it and squeeze it and call it George. Er….

  122. Congrats! I enjoy your stream of thought posts. It is how my brain is working lately. My mantra is…don’t let you head explode!

  123. Congratulations on your accomplishment!!! I’d love to have a copy! I’ve checked it out three times from the library already. lol

  124. Thank god!! While waiting for book 2 I started incessantly rereading book 1, it has slowly become an increasingly obvious problem.. Congratulations! Can’t wait 🙂

  125. Oh sweet merciful spaghetti monster, please let me win an autographed copy of this book! It felt like the Rosetta Stone of life, or at least made me feel less alone in my very busy brain! Notice I didn’t say productive, just very, very busy ;D
    Either way I will still be buying the new one, because I need it!
    Thanks and good luck with the editing

  126. Can your second book just come out now?! On second thought, my thesis is due the first week in April. CAN IT COME OUT IN APRIL?!?!?!?!

  127. Congrats on turning in your first draft! I can’t wait to read it when it comes out. The first is definitely a favorite of mine. I bought an ecopy, but I would love a hard copy because I recommend it to everyone, but don’t have a way to lend it to them.

  128. Just wondering,Jenny, if you put a giant cardboard box over your desk and computer, you and the cats might be way more productive.

    Or maybe that’s a really bad idea.

    I am not sure, which.

    But I did use a comma, so there’s that..

  129. You want to give me the book. (Mainly because I can find out where you live and I’m not above doubling the number of giant metal chickens in your yard.) (Or maybe I should say I will double the number of giant metal chickens in your yard IF you give me the book?) (Just pretend I only said whichever one of those increases my chances.)

  130. Yay!!! Cannot wait for the second book. Congrats for getting the first draft turned in, that’s huge. Thanks for giving a voice to all us weird people.
    I won’t mind a signed copy… That is if you pick me 🙂

  131. Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it. Your last book made me laugh by balls off!

  132. W00T for another book!! I already have yours and Allie’s too, but they need companions!! Editing sucks donkey butt, but you’ll get through!

  133. I can’t wait for the new release! I would love a copy of your book…well, ANOTHER copy as my brother “borrowed” mine and it seems he’s adopted it now.

  134. Yay for the new book. You have no idea how your crazy book stopped me from thinking I was crazy. Thank God you were recommended to me!!

  135. Congratulations! (I almost forgot to leave a comment being so utterly distracted by the wonderful cat gif. Hehehe)

  136. congratulations!!!! i would be so psyched to win your book. i enjoy your blog so much!

  137. Congrats on finishing the book! I can’t wait to read it – wonder if it’s too early to preorder?
    Also, “GET THE SHIT IN HERE” about made me shoot Coca-Cola out my nose. I love you & your ADD manicness. Is that a word? Well, it is now. Look what you made me do. 😉

  138. congratulations! and I would love a copy of the first book to have and to hold 🙂

  139. I’m commenting in the vain hope you pick me. Then I will keep the autographed copy and give my dad my current copy with the turned down corners and chocolate stains.

  140. Pick me! I’d love an autographed copy! You’re the best. And you’re still the best even if I don’t get picked.
    🙂
    xoxo

  141. Hooray! I have your first book on my kindle. Every now and then I go back to it and just read a chapter because it makes me smile. Can’t wait to read the next one!!!

  142. I am absolutely usually a lurker, but for the possibility of winning an autographed copy of your book, I’m coming out of the shadows! It’s totally worth revealing myself! I mean that in a clean, wholesome way.

  143. YAY NEW BOOK! I’m so excited for you! I’m excited for me, too, because now there’s going to be another awesome book to read!

    Just generally excited over here.

  144. Wow there are a shitton of people who commented and must really want your book. Like Me. Joining in happily on the bandwagon!

  145. Congrats!!!
    I’d love a copy of your book! Especially since I haven’t read it yet. I do promise to read it. Eventually. It will just happen faster if you send me one. 😉

  146. Congratulations!!! What a great feeling of success that will probably last for 5 minutes.
    I’ve read Allie’s book, so I think it just make sense that yours is up next. Please. Pretty please. With taxidermy on top.

  147. I love your site and book. Every time I’m down or having a very bad day I read your site makes me smile and feel like I’m not alone. Thank you.

  148. Congrats! I loved your first book (and Hyperbole and a Half), so I’m looking forward to the next one! =)

  149. So excited about a new book from you!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve read the first one at least 5 times so far. Congrats!

  150. So excited!!! Thank you. When your books come out it makes my holiday shopping so much easier. EVERYBODY gets a copy. 😀

  151. Kate DiCamillo = awesomeness. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read her Mercy Watson books to my daughter. Let’s just say it was over and over, and over.

  152. I have your first book — loved it! I am excited to read the second book. I would still like to win because, really, who doesn’t like to win?

  153. I really want to win a copy of your book. My birthday is tomorrow and your book would rock as a bday present. Just saying!

  154. Sometimes I think commas are wholly unnecessary. At least that’s what I tell myself when I write…
    You oughta write kid books. Fewer need for commas.
    Editing is the easy part, truly. You’ve forged your way through the rough stuff. Now you get to have other people do all the work and tell you what to do. That’s SO much easier than having to do stuff on your own. But I just fired my editor, so maybe I need to go back and read up on commas…
    And back away from the coffee…

  155. If I could pick anyone to hide in a bathroom with, it would be you. I’ll settle for hiding in a bathroom with your book, though.

  156. I can’t wait for your second book. It will be another book club classic for sure.

  157. I haven’t even quite finished the first book, but I’m already pooping with sheer excitement for the second. Should people poop from excitement? I don’t know. Probably not. But if I won an autographed copy, I’d probably give the copy I already own to the less fortunate. I.E. my coworkers who need some goddamn humor to slide the sticks out of their asses. Is that too far? I don’t know.
    Good luck with editing. I’m immensely happy that your first book sounded so real. Don’t let them stiffen your natural voice – yours works just fine. Keep shining, Jenny. The world needs more you.

  158. Can’t wait to have the newbook in my hot little hands! Just so you know…Ioved your first one so much that I bought 4 copies of it…and spread those across 3 different countries (US, Canada and New Zealand).

  159. I would LOVE a copy of your book! I think it’s been on a number of birthday/Christmas wish lists and still has not made it into my hands. I should really just go buy it, but an autographed copy is sooooo much better.

  160. “it’s confusing for most normal people”

    It’s a good thing that I strive to be normal as infrequently as possible. I find it very boring.

    I know what you mean about those voices in your head though. I have them too. They’re constantly telling me that I’m horrible at everything I do (web development, parenting, being a spouse, being a fully functioning adult, acting normal when I have to, etc.). I know that the voices are just lying and I resist them. There are times when it oddly feels “comforting” to give in to the voices and that’s when they are at their most dangerous. Sometimes it helps to mentally give the “voice” form and then kick it out of my head – bonus points for hurting the voice in the process. (Does that last sentence not sound normal? Good. See paragraph 1. 😉 )

  161. I am looking forward to reading BOTH of your books since I already love reading all your posts!

  162. I can’t wait to read your next book! But, I’d be really happy to get an autographed copy of your first masterpiece. 🙂

  163. I’d looooove a copy of your book. Been wanting to read it forever. Good luck with editing!

  164. I’m excited that step one is done!

    In other news, I regularly get taxidermy photos showing up in my news feed and want to send them to you. The most recent was of one squirrel giving another squirrel a tattoo.

  165. I totally need a hardcopy of your book! I bought the Kindle Edition and I love it, but I need the hardcopy. NEED it.

  166. Oohhh pick me! Pick me!! I love your writing and Allie’s too! Congratulations on your second book! All my exclamations seem like i’m shouting a bit, but I did avoid typing in all caps.

  167. Can we vote for others to get an autographed copy of your book?

    I have an (un-autographed) version, and apparently will be buying the Hyperbole and a Half before days end (because it looks hysterical), and your new one as soon as they are done commafying it.

    If we can, I nominate Aileen House because her Rosetta Stone comment made my day. 🙂

    (Congrats on finishing your book!!!!)

  168. Congrats on your completion of the first big hurdle. Can’t wait to read book 2.

  169. I tend to overuse commas. Very, very badly. But you finishing your book gives me hope and motivation to finish mine. Although, mine will probably end up in free pile on Amazon… but it will be finished. And I can try another one, b/c why not? Congrats on finishing your book and for being a wonderful role model for writers! 🙂

  170. I just spent an honest to goodness 15 minutes plus watching the video. I almost didn’t finish reading the post. Some of my viewing time was spent wishing my cats would play together instead of plotting the other’s death, some was spent wondering if Ferris relented and dove in willingly or if Hunter pulled him in, and obviously I spent a great deal of it reading the subtitles in my head in what I assume are Ferris Mewler and Hunter S. Tomcat’s voices. But mostly I just giggled like an idiot. Thank you, I needed that today!

  171. I’ve been stuck in my house for three days with my kids…OK, the first day we weren’t stuck, but if I’d KNOWN then that we were going to be stuck inside the next two days I’d have gotten the heck out of my house when I had the chance. So a 2nd book is awesome news. So would a pizza delivery driver being able to make it up my ice-encrusted driveway, but I’ll take what I can get.

  172. Can’t wait for the 2nd book! Crossing my fingers that Columbus, OH ends up on your book tour list this time!! CONGRATS!! 🙂

  173. I’d like a new copy. I loaned mine out a number of times and now I can’t remember who has it and don’t want to look like a fool asking everyone I know if they have it and if they don’t and never did then I will look like I’m off my nut which I am but I do like to feign some dignity.

  174. Yea! Congrats. Can’t wait to read your new book. Your first was beyond brilliant, especially the third time!!!

  175. I love your cats! I can just see them saying everything that was subtitled. . .

  176. Yay for finishing this step!

    In other news, I regularly get taxidermy photos showing up in my news feed and want to send them to you. The most recent one is a squirrel giving a tattoo to another squirrel.

  177. I read your book out loud to my 12yo when she was sick and trapped on the couch (with a tiny of mom editing) and we both laughed our butts off. We’d love a signed copy!

  178. Also, my iPad finished my comment before I corrected my name. Who has a name of “Amp”? Not me,

  179. love it i read your blog all the time 😉 your cat reminds me of jack my cat ( his name is Jack the Kitty King ) cant wiatto read your book

  180. Looking forward to the new book. It must feel at least little good to have it “done.”

  181. I’m hoping this book also discusses colon cleanses because I’m always looking for a good one. Alexander McCall Smith went on and on about one in a recent book but he didn’t give any practical information like you did, so I’m struggling here.

    P.S. I also try reading glasses on at CVS and pretend to look a little more like a librarian. Sometimes I regret having Lasik because I really enjoy lowering the glasses and staring at people in a way that says “you plebeians, I am so much smarter than you.” In the end, I put them on my dog and she manages to convey the exact same thing.

  182. I am so excited for your second book!!! Please put up the link to the preorder as soon as you know it. Congrats on getting it done!

  183. I have been waiting for your new book for a year and a half I laughed out loud so many times it was silly. My kids thought I was nuts till I read it to them. They were 13/15 at the time. I’ve lent the book out to everyone who reads. They all love it, but I lost it. It was never returned. Hmm I still have my kindle edition, but its not the same. I so cant wait for your new book. Love your blog. Love you. Love Victor. Love Hailey. Hunter S Tomcat too. and Feris Mewler. And Beyonce. I am a very dedicated Canadian Fan who wants you to come to Edmonton Soon Pretty please? West Edmonton Mall is great! not alot of taxidermy though. Sorry Pretty Please?

  184. You are awesome 🙂 and I’m not just saying that because I want a book…..or am I ? …. no I’m really not. Honest.

  185. It’s huge that you can send them out – your work I mean… I have a pile of stuff and only 1/2 has been read by other people because of the terror of letting it go and getting bad reviews of it. I know, sad but it’s why some of my stuff has been web-published vs taking the courage by the horns and trying to send it out.

    Congrats to you! Seriously…. congratulations!

    M

  186. I actually know where the bear was in your book. Your dad had one on a table hanging from the garage ceiling. Oh, and the thing about polar bears being unwelcome guests at dinner parties. I was just listening to that part in the car. I can’t wait for the second book!!

  187. I already own your book (pre-ordered the ebook version) and loved it! But I’d absolutely love to have a signed real copy also!!

  188. Pick me dammit. I pre-bought the Kindle Edition and have read it a dozen times, I have made all my friends buy hard copies and gifted a few to those who wouldn’t succumb to my peer pressure. That and I adore you…in the least creepy way possible. I mean I wouldn’t dream of sending you, say, an In-humanely taxidermied unicorn or anything. I even have a red dress to donate to the cause!!!

    xo,
    Alyssa

  189. Amazing!! Congratulations on getting it done. What a huge accomplishment, especially while trying to juggle life and hunting for dead shit—–um— I mean stuffed animals. 🙂

  190. Congrats on finishing the book. And if you haven’t read Aileen House’s comment (I think it’s right above mine. Comment #238, regardless), you should and she should get a book. She referenced both the Spaghetti Monster AND the Rosetta Stone. She is one of us.

  191. I bought your book, hardcover no less. But i may have to have my jaw wired and that is far more important cuz that is worse than all this shit combined. And you know Jenny, I’m a serious foodie. I shudder to think. Your friend, Laurie F. ps wish me luck. oh, and my kidneys are failing too. Life sucks and then, more snow is coming. Xanax is not covering this.

  192. OMG your cats 😀

    Also; congratulations on the book! I’d give you a Cookie, but 1: I can’t make cookies, it always turns into a disaster, and 2: we’re on different continents. I don’t think they let you ship cookies like that. But if they did, I’d send you a piece of whatever I manage to bring to work in my birthday next week. Honestly, it’s my birthday an I have to do the work? Djeez.

  193. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! can not wait for your second book! I gave half my family and all of my friends copies of your first book. Congrats!

  194. Oh shit, and now I feel bad because I totally forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS on getting it done!!!! I can’t wait to pre-order that one too!!

  195. Now it looks like the blog has eaten my comment which was that there is a bear in your first book and I am too impatient to read all the comments and see if anybody already said that. Now I have to go back to gluing fringe to my husband’s old suit coat for his Mardi Gras costume.

  196. I am a voracious reader and have your book on my list of books I need to buy. I’d take a copy of your book, Allie’s book, books you have laying around the house, whatever!

  197. Go you!! I would adore an autographed copy of your book. Today is my eighth wedding anniversary and that would be the best gift ever. 😀

  198. Congrats on finishing your book. I think anyone who says they don’t want your autographed book that they won on your blog is not a very nice person

  199. Pick me, please. Love you and your book. <3 And I’m a writer too, so I relate. Maybe I’ll even send you a copy of mine for your awesome daughter!

  200. Woohoo! Congrats on finishing book 2 for now 🙂 I loved the first one & can’t wait for the second.

  201. Congrats on finishing your book! Would love an autographed copy of the first one!

  202. I can count on you to bring a smile to my face – some days more than others. Thank you and congrats!

  203. Congratulations! It must be nice to have a short break between writing and editing.
    I always love/hate going back to half written posts to try to figure out what the hell my point was going to be.

  204. HOOOOOORAY! I’m totally popping a bottle of $7 champagne. Y’know. In your honor. I mean, as a reader, it’s basically my DUTY AS A GOOD CITIZEN TO DRINK IT ALL, JENNY.

  205. I can’t wait to read your new book! Your writing has given me a lot of laughs at a time when I’ve needed them the most. I would love a copy of your first book. I gave mine away, but the good news is, it has made the rounds and made several people happy.

  206. Congratulations! What an achievement! I would love to have a copy of the first book!!!

  207. Yay!!!!!! Can’t wait!!!
    I borrowed the first one from the library…I believe I was the first one to borrow it, having put it on hold before they got their copy. But I’d love to have my own copy of your first one and of course will get the 2nd as well!

  208. I think it ate my last comment which was simply: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! So excited to read your next book! I gave my friends and family copies of your book for Christmas. Congrats!!

  209. Congratulations! And also, YES to YA. Started reading my children’s books when they were young so I would know what they were putting into their brains; now my youngest is 17 and it is awesome to be able to have these conversations about books.

  210. Yay! Can’t wait to read your next book and I would love a copy of your first book.

  211. thrilled to know another book is on the horizon!! Jenny you are amazing!! I love love loved your 1st book and gave copies to all of my friends. Your shares about RA & depression are so helpful to me & other readers that similarly from both.

  212. I already have two copies of the hardcover but saw that the soft bound has a new chapter so I would love to have a copy of that <3

  213. Yay! I’m so excited for you. I suck at finishing things. So I know how awesome it feels to finish something. I’m so excited to read your next book!

  214. The promise of your new book this year just made my day! Sending hugs and happy thoughts to help you through the editing process. Yay, you!

  215. I cannot wait to read the new book! My husband thought I was crazy when I read the last one, due to my laughing out loud with tears streaming down my face. I loved it!

  216. Thank goodness! I was diagnosed with cancer in August and a friend promptly sent me a copy of your first book. I’ve been laughing my head off ever since. Although the funniness holds up on the 8th read, I’m eventually going to need some new material to read to the infusion nurses. Thank goodness there’s a new book on the way!

  217. Yay! You get to do the “I’m done dance.” It goes however you want, so long as you revel in the doneness of the thing that you did. You must FEEL the done. Also, “Fortunately, the Milk.” Genius of which I am sure you approve.

  218. I’m pretty excited for you new book…because I laughed out loud a ton at your first one and who doesn’t need that?

  219. Bravo, Jenny! and thanks for taking the time and blood and sweat and tears to pour out all the words that will some day reach us and give us a good firm hug or spank or high five or etcetera as the case may be. xo

  220. Your cats cracked me up. And I don’t like cats. Maybe it was your subtitles. Congrats on finishing book 2!

  221. I can’t wait for your second book! An autographed copy of the first would tide me over nicely in the meantime, though. I’m sure a bunch of other people said that already, but I’m two-hundred-forty-odd comments late to this post and I just don’t think I have it in me to read ALL of those comments just to make sure I’m being original. That sounds exhausting. Now I’m exhausted. This blog comment is quickly spiraling out of control…

  222. Congrats on finishing your book. LOVED the first one and can’t wait for the follow-up!

  223. go jenny!

    on a totally unrelated note, you succeeded where everyone else i admire failed… you made me curious enough to finally watch doctor who… i love you forever for it!!!!

    i might always be late to the party, but i make up for it with enthusiasm.

  224. Congratulations! I’d love to read your book, I haven’t yet! But your blog is one of my most very favorites.