Apparently National Cat Day was October 29th and I missed it, so I guess that explains why Ferris Mewler threw up in my shoe. In my defense, it was just World Cat Day in August. Why do cats need so many days? No clue. But to make up for whatever I did to offend the cats I’m sharing the pictures I took of Ferris Mewler, who was ignoring me badly in spite of the fact that he would starve without me:
Is it just me or is he flipping me off in that last picture? Because I think he is.
This is exactly why people prefer dogs, Ferris.
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And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- It’s what we say in the South. Because we’re very polite even when we’re dealing with an asshole.
- As requested, religious business cards you can customize with your new title. And then you can hand them out whenever other people give you their religious pamphlets and they’ll leave you alone.
Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:
Shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week‘s wrap-up is brought to you by Crumple + Toss, who are perfect for your holiday stationery needs. Everything from typical Christmas fare: nativities, poinsettias, and the like, to irreverent and hilarious selections guaranteed to offend. This one is a personal fave. Christmas not your jam? There’s plenty of Chanukah cards as well as “Happy Whatever” to cover your ass in awkward situations. Come have a look around!
But that’s why I love cats so much… no blind obedience. Although, sometimes it would be nice.
And yes, agree, he’s totally flipping you off.
Seems a bit bold to be flipping you off while lounging by a sign that says be nice or leave.
I need that last picture to flash at people when they talk to me.
This is exactly why I prefer cats. I generally don’t come when I’m called either. You’re going to have to give me a reason first, and preferably that reason will be food. Otherwise just let me sleep!
Cats supposedly have 9 lives (I am thinking they lied to us and secretly have more as a secret weapon toward world domination). So with all their lives they need many cat days to celebrate each life they have. Soon they will take over the entire calendar and we will have to worship them daily.
You didn’t know it was National Cat Day? Whaaaat?
We celebrated in Minnesota w/ Meow Mix, Tuna, & Sardines.
After that, we took naps all. day. long. PURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.
He’s totally flipping you off. You must have forgotten to hand stir his kibble while hiding the bottom of the dish to make the kibble more palatable.
Cats supposedly have 9 lives (I am thinking they lied to us and secretly have more as a secret weapon toward world domination). So with all their lives they need many cat days to celebrate each life they have. Soon they will take over the entire calendar and we will have to worship them daily.
See http://blog.infoadvisors.com/index.php/2014/01/30/refactoring-computer-engineer-barbie/ for a refactoring-computer-engineer-barbie, aka improved, version of the horrible horrible barbie book
About Barbie: https://twitter.com/TheMarySue/status/535126149949423616
About cats: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152599638678889
That’s amazing. A cat giving the bird.
Hahahaha! That collage is perfect!
You’re lucky – I can’t keep my cats off of me. They have some weird cat sonar that can tell whenever I sit down. If you like cat sequence photos, you might enjoy my recent post on the 3 Stages of Playing Boardgames with Cats (spoiler alert: it does not end well). http://thedustyparachute.com/monday-mini-3-stages-playing-boardgames-cats/
We had a cat that came when we whistled, but there was something wrong with him.
Speaking of Barbie (and knowing you have one of those demonic Elf on a Shelf things)…have you seen the Whore in a Drawer? It’s on Pintrest and FB, but I found one here, too: http://klaq.com/whre-in-a-drawer-elf-on-a-shelfs-naughty-aunt-fan-photos/
Cats get all the days. Isn’t that how it works? I thought that was how it worked.
No, no, no. THIS is your Christmas sweater. http://www.amazon.com/Alex-Stevens-Slothy-Christmas-Sweater/dp/B00NIMYVJ8/ref=cts_ap_1_fbt
I think he’s giving you this Italian gesture:
http://www.italiangoodnews.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/gesti_frivolo234_428.jpg
It roughly translates to: “Eh, Madonna-Mia. You are a-ruining my life, no?”
He obviously thinks you’re not being nice (he’s trying to sleep, after all!), so he’s telling you you can leave. He can’t express it much clearer, he has a sign and everything.
That’s awesome, though. All cats should have signs, it would make things much easier. Although maybe we’d just be insulted constantly…
yup, he is totally flipping you off! And even still I prefer cats….
Absolutely Ferris is flipping you off, and the worst part is that both of you know that you can’t do a damn thing about it. Annoying isn’t it?
As an aside Jenny, I don’t have a blog of my own yet and I just did a guest post over at Cordelia’s Mom. I would be honored if you had time to drop by for a read http://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/11/22/the-teens-guest-post-by-paul-curran/comment-page-1/#comment-6445 Thank you so much for your consideration.
Oh my gosh, was it just a coincidence that the cat is being a dick to you while sitting next to a sign that says, “Be nice or leave?” Too funny. He’s like, “Why does illiteracy get a bad rap? Works for me.”
Go sit on the toilet and start peeing, he will be there in a about 1.5 seconds!!
In Ferris Mewler’s defence, that’s pretty much how I react to people who wake me up and ask me to do stuff too.
And if that “Be Nice or Leave” sign was in my house, I’d never be allowed home.
When a cat snubs you, you -know- you’ve been snubbed!
I honestly was going to ask if he was cursing you in the last one. Your final sentence confirms what I had been thinking.
First I read ‘this is why people prefer frogs’ and I was confused because apparently there’s been this worldwide united preference people have for frogs and I. Was. Not. AWARE.
YAY! CAT PICTURES ON MY BIRTHDAY!! Thanks Jenny! Making a good day even better! <3
I’m sure the The Church of Bloggessianism decreed one of those holidays because cats are our muse, right?
Why didn’t you go for the sloth Christmas sweater by the same designer?
Aren’t cat and as whole synonymous?
I totally thought he was flipping you off, and I don’t think whatever he was yelling was anything nice, either. Put the cat day thing on your calendar.
I feel a Ferris Mewler gif in our future. That last pic is brilliant.
Your shoe? Lucky. Yesterday one of my cats threw up on my pillow. Thank goodness I wasn’t using it at the time.
Maybe Ferris isn’t getting enough sleep so he is a little cranky. Our dog gets a bit of an attitude if she misses her full 10 hour nap. No excuse for the rude behavior of course, but maybe an explanation.
Yes, he’s flipping you off. My cat uses her tail for that. Don’t ask me how I know. I just do.
You gotta admit, Ferris gives great cattitude…
Love your Dr. Bob.
Love the “Be Nice or Leave” picture which begs the question, “Why is the cat still there?”
Cats never come when called. Our youngest cat used to. Then he quit now he waits to come and bother me when it is the least convienent time. He likes to sit on the laptop while it is charging….he doesn’t understand why I won’t let him sit on it while I am trying to write. And yes I fully believe cats can flick you off.
Omg the business cards are the best thing I’ve ever seen…I might actually open my door when they come by instead of closing the curtains and telling my daughter to hide
I can’t get my cat off me most of the time. I have to tell him to “go do cat things” but he doesn’t listen. Except when he catches a lizard and drops it on my bed. That is definitely a “cat thing.”
I agree that he is flipping you off. Cats can do this without really seeming to do it. BTW, thanks for helping me find my Christmas sweater too! Love it!
BTW, this sweater is pretty awesome too! Even though it is not a Christmas sweater. https://flavorwire.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/catsweater.jpg
Definitely go for the sloth sweater further down the page!
I can’t believe you didn’t go for the Sloth version- http://www.amazon.com/Alex-Stevens-Slothy-Christmas-Sweater/dp/B00NIMYVJ8/ref=cts_ap_1_fbt
You’ve probably already seen Feminist Hacker Barbie: https://computer-engineer-barbie.herokuapp.com/ I’m very proud to say that I’ve known the young woman who created this site since she was 6.
Oh my God, love cats so much… but why? Maybe we’re all masochists.
Must be why I was compelled to buy a cat tree costume at Target today. All about the celebration.
I think you should think practically and get the Xmas sweater for those whose stupid little hearts you want to bless–and then give them the t-shirt for their bday. Multitasking at its best, right? 🙂
If you want an animal to worship you and do want you want with little effort, get a dog.
If you can get a cat to worship you, you are me.
I’m impressed that Ferris can not only read, but also ignore what he reads. Makes me almost like cats.
As Ferris Mewler has flipped The Bloggess off and doesn’t deserve a kitty-themed Christmas sweater, I am sad that you didn’t choose to showcase the slothy Christmas sweater, which is cuter, and also sloths would never dream of flipping you off.
I didn’t read all the comments, so apologies if someone already brought this to your attention. I’m surprised you’d go for the grumpy cat jumper over this glorious slothy christmas one http://www.amazon.com/Alex-Stevens-Slothy-Christmas-Sweater/dp/B00NIMYVJ8/ref=cts_ap_1_fbt
It’s so perfect that sloth could be the Bloggessian’s christmas symbol of love, joy and….um, drunkeness 😉
I WOULD buy that sweater, but I need a medium and they’re already all out. All that’s left are XL and XXL. You broke them.
I have one cat that will come when I call, but he’s totally an asshole in many other ways, like catching giant sewer roaches and depositing them on the living room rug after singing loudly about his victory over them. Bleah.
He flips you off while relaxing next to the “be nice or leave” sign? Cats rock and suck all at the same time.
Loved the Barbie fucks it up again link. Ridiculous! Also I clicked on your Christmas sweater pic and saw that there was a SLOTH one! Anyway, my cat found a baby mouse yesterday am and played with it until I took it from her and tossed it outside. It’s probably already back inside my house ready to die and smell the place up….. She then layed on the couch on her back the rest of the afternoon. Lazybones, find the rest of the family!!!! Ferris Mewler totally looks like he’s flipping you off. He’s so ungrateful! ha ha
He has this look like “you’ve left me no choice but to flip you the paw!”
He flipped you off in the 4th picture, but you didn’t get it, so he had to curse at you! 😛
LOL…that fucking Christmas sweater has more reviews than my book! Meh…hey…it’s the quality that counts, right?! And Ferris? In his defense, calm the fuck down, all of you anti-finger-waving protestor fucks! I’d be pissed off, too, if my human had a perfectly sharpened pair of scissors and did not cut a hole in the Rubbermaid storage container…a five measly fucking dollar investment! Sheesh! Even the dog (HAH…who would have thought?!) is backing me up on this one! I’m praying to the cat gods, for Ferris!
Ah, the tempest in the Barbie book… perhaps THE WOMAN WHO WROTE THE BOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE is the one to blame, rather than a nebulous misogynist conspiracy?
If you are choosing the Kitty Christmas sweater to try to make it up to Ferris, then that is acceptable; otherwise, the Sloth Christmas sweater is the obvious choice.
He’s definitely giving you the middle finger. Also, read the Barbie post, and laughed at how ridiculous it is. It’s actually a kind of boring story if you think about it. I know as a little kid, it probably wouldn’t hold my attention after the first page.
Here in the South (or maybe it’s just my family) we also like to say, “Well bless your lil’ pea-pickin’ heart!” Idk why pea-picking…maybe indicates pettiness and triviality, and also passive-aggressively calling someone stupid without actually saying it. Ha!
Have you ever considered that you were cloned a few years ago and the aliens created a mini me for you? Because I’m working on a strong theory that this is your clone or that you wear a costume made of her skin and then say all of these awesome and crazy things to her mom. If you were wearing her skin, you’d be playing the long game, but seeing all the wonderful things this girl is saying, it seems pretty worth it.
Seriously though check out this tumblr, her love of the tardis, zombies, burying animals seem like some alien cloning scheme is the only reasonable explanation. It’s so fabulous and everyone on this blog must see!
http://thingsmaggiesays.tumblr.com/
http://www.msn.com/en-us/video/watch/what-your-cat-does-when-youre-not-at-home/vi-BBfqTFM?ocid=mailsignout
Jenny, thought you’d like to see this. LOL
Wait, Jenny! What about the sloth sweater???
http://www.amazon.com/Alex-Stevens-Slothy-Christmas-Sweater/dp/B00NIMYVJ8/ref=pd_sim_a_1?ie=UTF8&refRID=1KR0VNFNE4HVH0YHAC9V
Actually I think he’s flipping you off even more clearly in the second to last picture. That’s obviously an obscene gesture. Cats are assholes. Furry, lovable, adorable assholes.
I have a pup with a severe attitude problem….swear he turned into a teenager over night with his “you look at me like that again and I’m going to bark and bark and bark and not stop EVER and – oh look a scooter!” glare. Git.
I’d rather have a sweary cat.
Not only is he giving you the bird, but he’s also saying that he’ll cut a bitch.
Doesn’t matter that you feed him.
Totally flipping you off… LOL
He is 100% flipping you off and also yelling “fuck off, Mom”! On a side note, we got my oldest daughter’s four month baby pictures back and she’s all angelic looking in a beautiful white silk dress with her baby locket and a sweet look one her face and totally giving the bird with her cute little baby finger! And I just laughed and said, ” that is so my daughter”!
ferris mewler?? hahah i LOVE IT http://thewanderlusthasgotme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/11/12-things-youll-recognise-if-youve.html totally flipping you off btw 🙂
He’s totally flipping you off! And yes, that Barbie book is aweful!
Cats are assholes…but I still love them.
I love assholes.
Great.
Ferris is just telling you what all cats are thinking but don’t have the nerve to say.
You don’t need to get your eyes checked. That cat is flipping you off!
He is most definitely flipping you off.
He may just be the one to turn me into a cat person 😂
Barbie, WTF! Oh, and the south I currently live in says, “Isn’t that sweet.”
Oh Barbie…
Amazon’s impression of me has changed dramatically, I think, since I started reading your blog. I’m just hopeful that Amazon will suggest a product that lives at the intersection of “Men’s Abominable Snowman Costume,White,One Size” and “Men’s Fairisle Kitty Ugly Christmas Sweater, Red Combo, XX-Large.”
Cat’s flip everyone off. Next time, just show Ferris this… https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=993201687369557&set=vb.146505212039213&type=2&theater
you’re welcome.
I think he did flip you off. Cats…