I’ve heard about people on TV doing poppers but I didn’t know what they are, so I mentioned them to a friend and he was like, “Poppers. Yeah. They relax your butthole”. I was pretty sure he was just fucking with me but he’s usually pretty reliable so I decided to check the internet. Then Google was, “Poppers? Sure I know what poppers are…”
I think Google is a little out of touch.
But all of the other search result were about the drug. Turns out it’s a club drug that relaxes your butthole. I’m not sure why you’d want to take a drug that makes your sphincter relax and then go wild at a disco because that sounds like a recipe for disaster, but whatever floats your boat, I guess.
PS. Hang on. My friend explained it all to me. I feel very old now. Also, he pointed out that some people take it because it makes you euphoric when you’re dancing, but it only lasts for a minute. I assumed they’d be pills because you “pop pills” but turns out it’s a bottle that you sniff. It’s like invisible temporary cocaine. Don’t do it. Don’t do drugs. Especially because they might not even be real. And if they are real you might shit yourself, and then you’d have to deal with that mess when you sober up on the dance floor up 30 seconds later. It’s like the most abrupt shame-filled hangover ever.
PPS. Was I the only person who didn’t know about this?
PPPS. I just realized that I spelled this wrong and now my blog title is “What are poopers?” My google search results are going to be more horrific than usual this month.