A few days ago Victor and I were in Fort Davis picking up Hailey from sleep away camp (SHE’S ALIVE AND STILL HAS ALL OF HER LIMBS!) when I made him stop at an old cemetery because I have what Victor deems “a morbid fascination for death and very boring places” and what I deem “a health appreciation of history, the frailty of humans, and also the only place where I’m guaranteed some actual peace and quiet – if you don’t count Victor honking at me every five minutes to get back in the car.”
If you read my last post then you already know that when we pulled into this cemetery I saw a jackrabbit and it’s been YEARS since I’ve seen one (they have much longer ears and feet than regular rabbits) so I took out my phone and took six quick shots of him. They weren’t good photos but one of the pictures freaked me out a bit because there was something in the picture that wasn’t there a second before or after. It seemed too square to be a UFO but if you google “square UFO” you’ll see a bunch of Texans who claim they’ve seen one in the last month so I figured I’d share it online and get your opinion. And you did not disappoint. You can go back here to see the comparison pictures but here’s a blown-up version of the UFO:
And here are some of my favorite suggestions people gave on what it was:
- If you also saw a man running behind it in his bedroom slippers, that’s my husband losing track of his drone again.
- TOTALLY HARRY POTTER’S FLYING CAR.
- It looks like the bag from American Beauty.
- TARDIS. Obviously.
- It’s Buster Brown. Big rimmed hat, giant bow tie, yep, it’s Buster Brown.
- I think it’s that elevator from Willy Wonka carrying Charlie and Grandpa Joe.
- That is straight up E.T. on his bicycle heading right towards you, clear as day
- It’s the rabbit’s patronus, trying to scare you away. Or a bug.
- That is clearly a PacMan ghost. The ghost of a PacMan ghost.
- Alien technology being tested as part of Jade Helm!
- IT’S THE BORG! Resistance is futile.
- CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG!
- Are chupacabras cuboid?
- It looks like the bottom half of a panda falling through a space portal.
- Well, technically it’s not saucer-shaped, so it’s not a flying saucer. But since it can’t be identified by that photo, and it appears to be flying, and it’s an object, then yes…it’s definitely a UFO.
- Dalek. Be safe.
- “The trebuchet enthusiasts packed up their device after a successful “sofa fling”, never knowing the confusion they’d caused.”
- It looks like a falling La-Z-Boy recliner. Obviously aliens come here to buy them, and this was an old one they returned.
- what if it’s NyanCat and he’s run out of rainbow since it’s the dry season in TX?
- Drone wearing a mortarboard. Congratulations on graduating from Drone U.!
- Spirit informs me that yes, it was a group of angry ghosts levitating a shopping cart filled RC cola. Spirit will not say why.
- It is totes 11 in the Pandorica
- That is clearly a flying molar. Probably one of those ‘slam the door tied to tooth’ extractions that went horribly wrong.
- I’m tellin ya, it’s ceiling cat without the ceiling. Ceiling cat, evolved.
- I think I know what it was:
- At 10:20pm July 17, 2015, Skycat went online. It begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14am.
- The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Saving you from the rabbit beast. #runawayrunaway
- “Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again.”
- Digitized pigeon—proof the Matrix is real.
- Dorothy’s house coming out of a tornado?
- Looks like a graduation cap tossed in the air. some kid is still celebrating..alone..in a cemetery…with rabbits for guests
- That is a rear view of Superman! The dark on top is his cape and the two dark dots are the bottoms of his boots
- It looks like a pram to me, it’s probably a telekinetic baby out for a joy ride.
- It’s The Great Space Coaster, of course.
- The comments so far really make me wish I had a TARDIS drone.
- Swallow carrying a coconut.
- It looks like the flying Winnebago from Space Balls. Maybe the Swartz is with you.
- I think it might be Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. Did you see a guy dressed like Bootsy Collins, carrying a large Ghetto Blaster anywhere near there? Or perhaps some little kids doing Cool Tricks?
- I don’t know if this has been brought up yet, but I think only now realize what it is. If you look close, you will see it is the mini-Stonehenge from “This is Spinal Tap.”
- If a team of people wearing all black stop by and ask about this photo, say you’ve decided it’s a weather balloon.
But my friend Phil Plait (aka @badastronomer) who is a brilliant professional astronomer and skeptic was like, “Could be a bug but I’m pretty sure that’s a bird. It’s wings are down in the picture” and I was like “HOW COULD THERE BE A BIRD THERE ONE SECOND AND GONE THE NEXT, PHIL?” Then I looked at all of the pictures again for the tiniest differences so I could prove it was a UFO and that’s when I noticed something in the picture taken two seconds earlier that wasn’t in any of the other pictures:
Your point, Phil.
UNLESS! Unless the UFO has the ability to morph into the shape of a bird. Which would be very smart on their part, and that’s why I now I have a creeping suspicion of all birds.
Be careful out there, you guys.
And now, the weekly wrap-up…
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Miniature Rory Raccoon statue for your desk. Always available to give you tiny high-fives.
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- Want an early copy of FURIOUSLY HAPPY? Goodreads is giving away 30.
- This is why I love Buttersafe.
- Made my whole day.
- I thought this was a joke.It’s not. It’s real.
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Mary and Jane from Mendolicious. They are very witty so I’m going to let them talk now: “Mendolicious was started by two best friends with a passion for cooking, parties and fashion. Mary and Jane want to share their screwball brand of humor and housewifery with you and teach you how to infuse your baked goods and possibly your next party with that “special something” – spoiler alert… it’s cannabis. With idols like Amy Sedaris and Dorothy Parker you can be sure we don’t take ourselves too seriously and neither should you. Come join us for High Tea and learn how to bake a mean brownie, pencil in the perfect eyebrow and perform a flawless milli-vanilli chest bump. (Actually we are shy and kind of hate parties and prefer to hang out in our sweats reading creepy books and playing with housecats. The milli vanilli chest bump thing is for real though. We crush that shit.) Mendolicious is a satire/comedy/actual useful information site. We are adopting pseudo-personalities because there is no version of my world where I would ever willingly volunteer to wear spanxs. This started as a lark but everyone we told said, “that is a great idea you should run with it” so we are running and getting all sweaty and I have a leg cramp but there you have it.” They’re kickstarting their High Tea Cookbook and it looks very funny (and you can leave out the cannabis if you’re in a State that frowns on that) so I just backed it. You should too.