A few days ago Victor and I were in Fort Davis picking up Hailey from sleep away camp (SHE’S ALIVE AND STILL HAS ALL OF HER LIMBS!) when I made him stop at an old cemetery because I have what Victor deems “a morbid fascination for death and very boring places” and what I deem “a health appreciation of history, the frailty of humans, and also the only place where I’m guaranteed some actual peace and quiet – if you don’t count Victor honking at me every five minutes to get back in the car.”
If you read my last post then you already know that when we pulled into this cemetery I saw a jackrabbit and it’s been YEARS since I’ve seen one (they have much longer ears and feet than regular rabbits) so I took out my phone and took six quick shots of him. They weren’t good photos but one of the pictures freaked me out a bit because there was something in the picture that wasn’t there a second before or after. It seemed too square to be a UFO but if you google “square UFO” you’ll see a bunch of Texans who claim they’ve seen one in the last month so I figured I’d share it online and get your opinion. And you did not disappoint. You can go back here to see the comparison pictures but here’s a blown-up version of the UFO:
And here are some of my favorite suggestions people gave on what it was:
- If you also saw a man running behind it in his bedroom slippers, that’s my husband losing track of his drone again.
- TOTALLY HARRY POTTER’S FLYING CAR.
- It looks like the bag from American Beauty.
- TARDIS. Obviously.
- It’s Buster Brown. Big rimmed hat, giant bow tie, yep, it’s Buster Brown.
- I think it’s that elevator from Willy Wonka carrying Charlie and Grandpa Joe.
- That is straight up E.T. on his bicycle heading right towards you, clear as day
- It’s the rabbit’s patronus, trying to scare you away. Or a bug.
- That is clearly a PacMan ghost. The ghost of a PacMan ghost.
- Alien technology being tested as part of Jade Helm!
- IT’S THE BORG! Resistance is futile.
- CHITTY CHITTY BANG BANG!
- Are chupacabras cuboid?
- It looks like the bottom half of a panda falling through a space portal.
- Well, technically it’s not saucer-shaped, so it’s not a flying saucer. But since it can’t be identified by that photo, and it appears to be flying, and it’s an object, then yes…it’s definitely a UFO.
- Dalek. Be safe.
- “The trebuchet enthusiasts packed up their device after a successful “sofa fling”, never knowing the confusion they’d caused.”
- It looks like a falling La-Z-Boy recliner. Obviously aliens come here to buy them, and this was an old one they returned.
- what if it’s NyanCat and he’s run out of rainbow since it’s the dry season in TX?
- Drone wearing a mortarboard. Congratulations on graduating from Drone U.!
- Spirit informs me that yes, it was a group of angry ghosts levitating a shopping cart filled RC cola. Spirit will not say why.
- It is totes 11 in the Pandorica
- That is clearly a flying molar. Probably one of those ‘slam the door tied to tooth’ extractions that went horribly wrong.
- I’m tellin ya, it’s ceiling cat without the ceiling. Ceiling cat, evolved.
- I think I know what it was:
- At 10:20pm July 17, 2015, Skycat went online. It begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14am.
- The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch. Saving you from the rabbit beast. #runawayrunaway
- “Curiously enough, the only thing that went through the mind of the bowl of petunias as it fell was Oh no, not again.”
- Digitized pigeon—proof the Matrix is real.
- Dorothy’s house coming out of a tornado?
- Looks like a graduation cap tossed in the air. some kid is still celebrating..alone..in a cemetery…with rabbits for guests
- That is a rear view of Superman! The dark on top is his cape and the two dark dots are the bottoms of his boots
- It looks like a pram to me, it’s probably a telekinetic baby out for a joy ride.
- It’s The Great Space Coaster, of course.
- The comments so far really make me wish I had a TARDIS drone.
- Swallow carrying a coconut.
- It looks like the flying Winnebago from Space Balls. Maybe the Swartz is with you.
- I think it might be Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba. Did you see a guy dressed like Bootsy Collins, carrying a large Ghetto Blaster anywhere near there? Or perhaps some little kids doing Cool Tricks?
- I don’t know if this has been brought up yet, but I think only now realize what it is. If you look close, you will see it is the mini-Stonehenge from “This is Spinal Tap.”
- If a team of people wearing all black stop by and ask about this photo, say you’ve decided it’s a weather balloon.
But my friend Phil Plait (aka @badastronomer) who is a brilliant professional astronomer and skeptic was like, “Could be a bug but I’m pretty sure that’s a bird. It’s wings are down in the picture” and I was like “HOW COULD THERE BE A BIRD THERE ONE SECOND AND GONE THE NEXT, PHIL?” Then I looked at all of the pictures again for the tiniest differences so I could prove it was a UFO and that’s when I noticed something in the picture taken two seconds earlier that wasn’t in any of the other pictures:
Your point, Phil.
UNLESS! Unless the UFO has the ability to morph into the shape of a bird. Which would be very smart on their part, and that’s why I now I have a creeping suspicion of all birds.
Be careful out there, you guys.
And now, the weekly wrap-up…
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Miniature Rory Raccoon statue for your desk. Always available to give you tiny high-fives.
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
- Want an early copy of FURIOUSLY HAPPY? Goodreads is giving away 30.
- This is why I love Buttersafe.
- Made my whole day.
- I thought this was a joke.It’s not. It’s real.
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Mary and Jane from Mendolicious. They are very witty so I’m going to let them talk now: “Mendolicious was started by two best friends with a passion for cooking, parties and fashion. Mary and Jane want to share their screwball brand of humor and housewifery with you and teach you how to infuse your baked goods and possibly your next party with that “special something” – spoiler alert… it’s cannabis. With idols like Amy Sedaris and Dorothy Parker you can be sure we don’t take ourselves too seriously and neither should you. Come join us for High Tea and learn how to bake a mean brownie, pencil in the perfect eyebrow and perform a flawless milli-vanilli chest bump. (Actually we are shy and kind of hate parties and prefer to hang out in our sweats reading creepy books and playing with housecats. The milli vanilli chest bump thing is for real though. We crush that shit.) Mendolicious is a satire/comedy/actual useful information site. We are adopting pseudo-personalities because there is no version of my world where I would ever willingly volunteer to wear spanxs. This started as a lark but everyone we told said, “that is a great idea you should run with it” so we are running and getting all sweaty and I have a leg cramp but there you have it.” They’re kickstarting their High Tea Cookbook and it looks very funny (and you can leave out the cannabis if you’re in a State that frowns on that) so I just backed it. You should too.
68 thoughts on “It’s probably not a UFO but it is proof that you people are made of magic.”
Read comments below or add one.
HAHAHAH…reading this has been the best part of some really fucking shitty weeks. God, I love it when I love people…so much better than when I hate them.
I see whatever you see, Jenny.
I always bow to peer pressure…
Awesome post, by the way.
How do you do it?
I went to a horse camp around fort Davis when I was a girl scout. Never saw a ufo, though. Unless they can morph into mosquitos. If so, I’ve officially been probed.
Oh! And my hubby brought home a huge horny toad from an oil lease. I now have a horny toad in my back yard! They used to be everywhere. I’ve heard they’re coming back from being endangered.
I want to meet whoever has the husband running around in slippers losing their drone. They sound pretty awesome.
Just showed the kids Monty Python and the Holy Grail for the first time last night. Definitely the Trojan Rabbit
The truth is out there! But it’s probably not very interesting….sigh…
The truth is out there! But it’s probably not very interesting…sigh…
When I have seen Samurai Cat my life will be complete.
I have 22,000 photos on my computer. I now must go through them all and look for UFOs.
OMG IS THE STATUE FURRY? PLEASE TELL ME IT’S FURRY.
Mary and Jane sound prettttttty awesome and I don’t even get high, although judging by my behavior you might think I was permanently stoned. Apparently you have the same problem, as evidenced by your last post. If you ever come to Arkansas, we can be not-stoned together but probably get arrested anyway.
Oooh new Allie Brosh book, that’s going on my Christmas list with your new book. No-one’s going to want to spend any time around me due to too much giggling.
A bird?! A lousy bird? Boo. Reminds me of the other week when my sister swore up and down she saw a monkey stealing food from a dumpster a few streets away. We searched all day, but all we saw was a skinny, probably rabid, raccoon stealing food from the very same dumpster. But who knows? Maybe he’s pals with the monkey.
On my computer, there’s a weird glowing light around it. Looks like a legit UFO to me!
I like the idea of the Trojan rabbit from Monty Python’s Holy Grail although I am partial to a Borg cube coming to assimilate us all and make us better beings.
The second one is clearly a Klingon Bird Of Prey caught in the time vortex of the Enterprise, which is just out of site.
I was pretty sure from the start that it was a buzzard with his wings on the downstroke, but you were all having so much fun, I didn’t have the heart to rain on the parade.
Totally Jade Helm. It’s probably Obama himself up there rounding up Texans with his laser eyes.
I’m going to start opening fire on every bird I see. You know, just to be safe.
Ooh! New Allie Brosh book! Why is this the first I hear about that? Is she trying to hide it or sth? Or is she all “Let’s pretend this didn’t happen”? badampam psshh … I’ll let myself out…
Is Rory fuzzy, like steph said, because I neeeed him. I tried to bribe the ladies out of a raccoon at the antique mall the other day. They said he wasn’t for sale. However the stuffed animal panda standing on a circus drum is and I need him! I just have to figure out how to get it home.
(He’s not fuzzy. He’s like a resin plastic with a stand-up bottom. But he’s adorable. I bought a bunch to play with. ~ Jenny)
It’s well-known that ninjas can morph into ravens. Or was that vampires? Vampire ninjas? Sleep well tonight.
Pretty sure that it’s a bird-morphing UFO! Although I enjoyed all of the Dr Who references from your fans. And now I have to track down and watch the Samurai Cat movie! Weird, but oddly compelling. You find the best things online!
Well clearly it WAS an African swallow gripping a coconut by the husk in the first picture, and it had dropped the coconut by the second picture. The REAL question is why was it there? Everyone knows African swallows are non-migratory.
Drop Bear. No question.
Love your weekly wrap ups. Makes me feel like the week wasn’t such a waste.
Hilarious!! I would have to say no question it’s obviously the Tardis! Also, I too could be described as having “a morbid fascination for death and very boring places”.
Here’s what it is. I, the ever optimist, can’t take it any more. It’ll be a little chaos, but I paid out the nose. What’s to stop me? Man, there should be some directions.
I have let everyone go. And it’s, really, just a hope. Tired, TIRED, of trying. Damon I should be better than this. Don’t you just hate Microsoft?
I was going to say bird, but then I saw Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and thought my answer was too pedestrian.
The new picture is definitely a bird. But in the first picture the object isn’t even slightly birdlike. They aren’t the same object. Definitely a UFO.
I love the people that post on your page!! Those are awesome!! And here I was being happy that there are other people in the world who thing cemeteries are amazing. 😀
This is just one of the best things I have seen all week. I really wish (or do I?) that it had been the Borg, though.
Two words. Space Invaders. We have to dig out our Atari 2600s to combat the evil.
I have it on good authority…it’s a UFO, disguised as a bird.
Alien cloaking technology is insidious. Insidious is a scary-ass movie about demons or malevolent ghosts or whatever. In Final Fantasy The Spirits Within, invading alien forces were actually the seemingly malevolent ghosts of what turned out to be really sad extinct animals whose home world had been destroyed. Conclusion: You saw the freaking future!!!! D-:
I just love it !
I just started reading your book, its fall off the chair funny, it’s really wonderful. I am not done with it yet, but I just want to say – I am so glad you survived your childhood and didn’t get stuffed along the way, so we can all enjoy you now.
Goodreads won’t let me enter the draw for Furiously Happy since I don’t live in the States 🙁 so unfair!
It’s a bird, it’s a plane….oh, wait, it is a bird.
No way is that square thing a bird. Phil was clearly “planted” by the government to take the heat off the top-secret stealth aircraft, which may or may not have been created extra-terrestrially. CONSPIRACY! And poor Phil. I hope they can remove the probe painlessly.
Only the squares would come to earth. The cool ones are probably kicking it on some nebula we’ve never heard of. Why? Because earthlings just aren’t cool enough for the intergalactic partay.
The peak in the background of that photo is Mitre Peak! I’m a counselor at Camp Mitre Peak and I climbed that mountain yesterday! You should totally ask Hailey if she would like to come here as well next year. We have horses, challenging hikes, beautiful views, and amazing camaraderie. https://facebook.com/MitrePeakGirlScoutCamp
So its a bird with a very big rear? Looks like it is having a hard time losing the winter weight for summer too.
Nooooo, I was so in for a GoodReads free copy but Australia’s not included in the giveaway. WOE. 🙁
Saw this link and thought you might enjoy…..maybe add it to the “things that make you happy” list?
Lizards Popping Bubbles
I’m coming to the party late, but I have to share that the UFO is a piece my mother’s fortieth birthday cake. It had some black frosting because, ha ha, forty means you’re halfway to death! And it made her furious. I suspect that at some point she threw a piece of it so hard it went into orbit and for nearly thirty years it’s been in orbit, only occasionally dipping down to hover over cemeteries because it’s a death cake.
Death cake…the world had no idea who Eddie Izzard was at the time but we needed him at my mother’s 40th birthday party.
My proudest moment! The Bloggess included my suggestion!
But now I think I have to change my mind and go with the Trojan Rabbit.
Google has revealed the following information about Samurai Cat (Neko Zamurai):
It started out as a made for TV period comedy about a ronin searching for work in Edo away from his wife and daughter. Things are not going well so he accepts a job to assassinate a cute kitty from a jealous servant who believes that his master has been possessed by the stray cat, but he can’t bring himself to do it. He steals the cat and leads the servant to believe the cat is dead. Anachronistic hijinx ensue! His fumbling attempts to care for the cat forces him to interact with others in a way he never has before,, and in the process, he discovers what a dick he’s been to his family and makes steps to mend his ways.
Since the series debuted in 2013 (there are now 2 full season), it has become so popular, it spawned the movie highlighted by our good Bloggess advertised plus another due out sometime this year.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, watch both seasons (subtitled! in! English!) for FREE here:
I have been totally geeking out over these.
I’m voting Monty Python trojan bunny!
Oh my gosh, it was totally worth it to read this post to find out that Allie Brosh has a new book coming out. Excuse me for a moment, ahem…. “SQUEEEEEEEEEEE!”. Between your book and her book this is going to be the BEST. FALL. EVER.
Also, I was kind of disappointed to find out that the UFO was just a bird. Dammit. I hate it when reality ruins my carefully-crafted fantasies.
Oh, this one is easy. It’s the doorway in the sky from the Truman Show. You’ve spotted one of the cameras. Hope you waved.
Neko samurai is amazing and everyone should watch the film! (Pro tip, do not watch the tropical island sequel, it’s a huge disappointment.) But if you liked this trailer, you will love Samurai Cat.
Okay, so I clearly do not understand the ‘customize’ feature of the Rory Raccoon. I thought I could use a picture of mine (my moms head) and have Rory holding it. This is the kind of wonderful daughter I am, she is having surgery and I thought this would help. Now that I write it I agree it sounds odd. I stil want to do it. Please help me. With the mother-holding- head- raccoon, thing not my mental health.
(That would be awesome but I think the only customization is maybe adding text at the very bottom? I’ve never customized one of them before. But it’s a shiny plastic so you could take a small picture of your mom’s head onto Rory’s hands. ~ Jenny)
Sometimes weird things fly…
Like lawn furniture and beach tents… http://www.grindtv.com/random/blue-angels-low-pass-sends-beachgoers-chasing-after-chairs-umbrellas/#8zz0T9itcTSzWbrc.97
And sometimes bounce houses… http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/05/25/children-injured-bounce-house_n_7437800.html (Just the JPG : http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1793551/thumbs/o-BOUNCY-HOUSE-570.jpg?6)
Obviously, Donald Trump lost another toupee. Wasn’t he in Texas recently?
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch for the win.
THREE is the number
And the number shall be THREE.
Also, if that thing flies toward you, I recommend duck-and-cover. You just never know.
For the record, that Texas “UFO sighting” was a hoax created by guy who makes his living creating such things in order to make YouTube advertising money. Your sighting appears more authentic.
For the record, that Texas “UFO” was a hoax created by a professional faker hoping to make some YouTube advertising money. The ways some people try to earn a living is astounding.
If you were near Fort Davis, then you were near Marfa and IT TOTALLY COULD HAVE BEEN A UFO!!!! The Marfa Lights are freaky and not realy explained, but one of the theories is….(of course)……..aliens. In the Texas mountains. You’re all lucky to be alive.
My parents live in Ft. Davis. Next time you’re going through there, let me know, and he will give you a tour of the observatory. Then you can check for UFOs with a powerful telescope.
What made me happy today is that one of my favorite food trucks stopped by. They have the most amazing fries, tossed with feta and rosemary. I Ate. Them. All.
I have a good picture of a drone in Fort Davis ON July 25 2015
Ok Jenny, I hate to tell you this but the alien in that square capsule zapped your brain cause NO FREAKING WAY that’s a bird. Nuh uh. Nope. Why? Because there are no SQUARE BIRDS — at least not in Texas, and closing its wings would not make it square! So the truth is that it WAS a UFO but the alien saw you see it and so had to scramble your brains else why would you believe it was a BIRD? Girl, get that tin foil hat back on NOW! I’m just yelling cause I care. <3 And btw you’re in my blog again. I’m sorry I don’t know how you keep turning up there but it’s like Kismet or fate or because I just enjoy plugging your site. So. So there. Get your foil hat on. I read you have the plague now. Are you SURE it’s the plague? I’m just saying, it might be alien mind cooties.
Mine was one of the comments you loved! The second one! That was me! We now officially have a connection/are best friends.
The truth is out there! But it’s probably not very interesting…sigh…