Dorothy Barker is more graceful than any of us, really.

Today we are continuing with part 2 of “WHAT SHOULD DOROTHY BARKER WEAR FOR HALLOWEEN” because I am easily distracted and like to put clothes on dogs.  Last week she was Hank the Cow Dog.  This week she’s a ballerina.  Both weeks she’s looked at me like I’ve lost my mind and possibly I have but OMG Y’ALL.

I was never think enough to be a ballerina, but this dog is nailing it.
I was never thin enough to be a ballerina, but this dog is nailing it.
She's so happy. Or yawny. Or angry. Mostly the last two.
She’s so happy. Or yawny. Or angry. Mostly the last two.
"I'm shitting in your sandals tonight, lady." ~ Dorothy Barker
“I’m shitting in your sandals tonight, lady.” ~ Dorothy Barker

She didn’t love  wearing the tutu, but she definitely preferred it to the cowboy hat.  Next week?  We visit the dark side.

Like if Olan Mills and Glamor Shots had a dog.
Like if Olan Mills and Glamor Shots had a baby and the baby was a dog dressed as a ballerina.

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And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

2011_07_08_bloggess_sharack

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Potsafe.  But that’s who sponsored last week, you might be saying to yourself.  And you are right.  But it’s so cool you probably want another set.  In case you missed it, it’s a safety accessory that protects kids (and everyone else) from accidental burns.  It’s actually really smart and you can check it out right here.  Mounts in minutes and protects kids (And clumsy people like me) from pulling a hot saucepan down from the stove.  Check out the video for a demo.

89 thoughts on “Dorothy Barker is more graceful than any of us, really.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Olan Mills will get ideas, now 🙂

    I still like Hank the Cowdog better, but that’s cuz it’s Dorothy’s chance to play a dude and she looks like she’s not a frippery lover.

    Plus, the props for Hank are awesome! She can have a little six shooter!!

  2. I wonder where your cats are hiding when they see you bring out the tiny costumes!

    (Look at the right side of the picture where Dottie is looking back at me. You’ll see a tiny cat face hiding in the other room. ~ Jenny)

  3. I think she looks fabulous in the tutu. My mini poodle Willow is either going to be Wonder Woman or Princess Leia. It depends on the weather.

  4. I hear Wonder Woman is really big right now–I think Dorothy would look just like a UN gender equity ambassador in a bustier and gold wristcuffs.

  5. sending copious amounts of gratitude for the olan mills flashback. They had photoshop nailed!

  6. I like the tutu best so far. I enjoyed the cow dog, but the tutu was made for her.

    If I had unlimited funds, I would buy Ravenclaw the therapy cat a spaghetti with meatballs costume. She loves to wear clothes. Or tolerates.

  7. Miss Dorothy has such slim ankles and she is such a good sport! They’re not costumes per se but I love those cones of shame on Pinterest that are decorated so your cat looks like he has a mustache or your dog looks like a martini.

  8. Shadow is unfortunately (for her) forced into indignity daily. You just can’t SEE a tiny black poodle at night! Her Halloween costume is a little suit with a full body skeleton printed on it…it even has “doggie treats” printed on, as if she’s eaten them. 😆

  9. I think she will totally puke in your shoes if you put in her that outfit again. I’ve seen that look before on my students when I make them until the bell rings before they can go. She is already plotting her revenge.

  10. Those wax people are TERRIFYING. Think of all the amaze bobs stuff you could do with them, anytime but especially at Halloween. Buy the set!

  11. I miss having a dog do much. When I get one I’ll no doubt have many costumes, for many occasions. I recommend getting many. Lobster! Pirate! Sundae! Flamingo! Pickle! Ninja Turtle!

  12. I just spent 23 hours in a truck with Izzie (My evil, bite-y kitten). She’s definitely attending Halloween as a Pissed off Harpy with a Mega Phone. Given her determination she’ll probably use the same costume for Christmas and maybe New Year’s as well.

  13. She is going to get sick of all of these costumes and run away. The good news is that her tutu will give her a solid shot of making into a circus.

  14. She’s Beautiful ❣❣ Loved her week 1 & week 2…now looking forward to your Next brilliant costume🐶 I adore Dorothy & All your cats!
    PS CUBS WON, still cheering here in CA ⚾⚾⚾⚾⚾

  15. How awesome is it that the whole reason you have Beyoncé is because you weren’t supposed to buy towels…& now she’s on a towel!

  16. U. So I clicked on the link for why you needed $300 and yeah no. Cuz the seller keeps them in a dark basement, they will need countless hours of trauma therapy. The expense of that ain’t with it.

  17. Is that a pet costume or a human one? Asking because somekitty’s quinceañera is coming up.

  18. OOO-kay, the wax figures on Craigslist.Buy a set? Was it just me or did I sense anger issues coming from the seller?

  19. Not sure that’s even the same maker but the spelling is close – how many companies can possibly exist that actually make wax figures?

  20. You should give the Olan Mills picture out as Christmas gifts. Like EVERYONE. I’ll PM you my address….

  21. The Olan Mills Flashback was brilliant! With neon coming back and 80s styles being flirted with again – why not bring this back too with a time capsule app?!!! You could be on to something big!

  22. You know how 4-year-olds laugh when they think they’ve been outrageously funny? Well, that’s what DB looks like in picture #2 to me. Gleefully cracking herself up.as would-be ballerina.

  23. Your delightful posts about your pets make me almost wish I lived in a building that allowed pets. I had a little LOL thinking of you doing this to Haley when she was a baby or now really, now is even funnier. 🙂

  24. LOVE the wax figures. Want one. I can imagine all the fun things one could do with such a thing. But how on earth did you find that ad on Craig’s List? It is in PA….you live in TX…..??

    (When it came out a ton of readers sent me the link because they assumed I’d be the only person who would put these in my house. They were not wrong. ~ Jenny)

  25. Dorothy Barker is a femme fatale in her own right. She doesn’t need no stinkin’ tutu (channeling my Al Pacino here) to be one. I vote for the cowgirl look:).

  26. Hmm I like Hank the cow dog better. If you do that one you MUST get a fake cowboy monkey with his own six shooter to ride on her back. I would have said real monkey but, well, you know where do you find one of those on such short notice nowadays? Plus then the monkey would just be distracted by picking thru her hair making sure there’s no treats for him.
    https://cdn3.dogonews.com/pictures/1910/content/whiplashTacowhiplash.jpg?1285696136
    In case that doesn’t work just google Whiplash the cowboy monkey & you’ll get the idea.;)
    Cristin

  27. The wax figures of creepy 19th century school children will give me nightmares. NO. Just….,NO

  28. Yes on the wax figures! The ad doesn’t say which four are mechanized though. I kind of hope and fear at the same time, that the snarling boy in image #4 is one of them…

  29. today was one of those days i just wanted to watch the world burn, then i read this and now the world seems worth while

  30. My friend Pauline (who was at your Cambridge in-store reading last year with me) just posted a link on her FB that you might find of interest: https://etrigg.com/event/clinic-zombie-apocalypse-survival-free/43017902/

    Yes, the L.L. Bean outlet nearest to my hometown is sponsoring a workshop on surviving the zombie apocalypse. Unfortunately, they haven’t said anything about snow globes yet, but I’m sure it’s just an oversight on their part, should you choose to correct this for them…

    (And yes, Dorothy Barker is adorable, but also yet, she most likely WILL pee in your shoes at some point in the next week or so, when she thinks you’ve forgotten about the whole sordid business. No, hiding the shoes on the top shelf of the closet isn’t going to help, because sooner or later you’ll have to take them down anyway, so you may as well suck it up and get it over with; it’s a lot harder to deal with peed-in shoes during freezing weather than when it’s warm enough to dunk them in water and set them out to dry, says one who knows.)

  31. For the low, low price of $8,400 you too can create your very own Stepford-Amish-Village of the Damned mash-up. How could you possibly resist??

  32. Wait, Dorothy is not going as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz? How could you pass up that option?

  33. Hey, nobody likes being a ballerina on their first day! That just means she needs to wear her outfit ALL THE DAMN TIME until she’s a proper ballerina. It’s the persistence that’s important here. Thank the sweet lord for Halloween, my favorite holiday!

  34. Okay, so I totally clicked on the “Potsafe” website to look into this, because well, yeah…anyhow, it says, “509
    Bandwidth Limit Exceeded

    The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to bandwidth limit has been reached for this site. Please try again later.”

    I think you broke them, LOL! Too many of your followers must need this product and we overloaded them. Damn it, now I will have to continue to get burned by my pots while cooking. 🙁

  35. Sigh – the wax figures ad was removed from Craigslist before I could see it. 🙁

    For your next science experiment, you can put your Skittles in a bowl of water and watch the S float off and remain intact. Apparently, you can also do this with M&Ms (although, obviously, it will be an M that floats off), but I don’t know why you’d want to waste chocolate like that.

  36. Hi Jenny! I’m a librarian who gets to have her dream come true … I’m leading a Book to Art club program on “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. I’m a little nervous because I’m one of your crazy tribe and am anxious someone will say something that would make me angry/sad about your book because it’s kind of my favorite. Or one of my favorites. Either way, you’re allowing me to get paid while making frankenstuffies and talk about your writing, so THANK YOU.

  37. I think you broke the Potsafe website with all the traffic you are driving to them. Also, your description was totally not what I was thinking when someone asks me if my pot is safe.

  38. In the first pic, she looks a little like a fuzzy can-can dancer. Cute as hell! Love both costumes so maybe cowboy in the front, ballerina in the back?

  39. The Olan Mills picture is my favorite thing I’ve seen on the internet today. I am in love, recreating a similar one with my miniature pinscher, Andy and sending it to you, Jenny!
    BTW, this is my first official comment, though I’ve been reading for years. I am shy, but adore you and your blog and books so much, I have finally worked up the courage to say hello and thank you.
    ❤️

  40. While I am not fond of animals dressed as people, I gotta say that Dorthy is really pulling off that tutu. It’s totally her shade of green. (It is green right?)

  41. Amazing; just this week I was thinking I need a new dishtowel. And my friend was noting that her Beyonce paper cut-out was getting a bit worn. Now two Beyonce dishtowels are on their way! Thank you for being awesome!

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