Y’all, it is October, which means WE SURVIVED SEPTEMBER. GO, US.
It also means that a steady stream of pet Halloween costumes keep coming in because Victor still hasn’t reported my credit cards as stolen even though he keeps threatening to. Victor seems to think that Dorothy Barker can just wear the first costume I find but that is ridiculous. Mostly because pet stores don’t have dressing rooms for dogs so I have to buy them and then take them home to try them out. Victor thinks that Dorothy Barker doesn’t even need a Halloween costume because apparently he just thinks animals should be naked all the time. Which is sort of gross because technically when they aren’t wearing clothes they are putting their buttholes all over the house. If anything, Victor should be thanking me. Although this first costume of the year didn’t actually cover Dorothy Barker’s butthole so I guess I can sort of see why Victor just stared at me and sighed deeply when Dorothy jumped in his lap:
More to come. Get ready.
And now…time for the weekly wrap-up! It’s usually on a Sunday but today it’s not because I fucked up my calendar and am not responsible enough to know how days work anymore. So it’s a little bit of Sunday on a Monday. Except Victor just read this and reminded me it’s Tuesday. This is Tuesday? Jesus. I need help.
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- I keep pocket journals in every bag, car and desk drawer. I made these especially to show people that they’re dealing with someone classy as fuck:
- THANKS, JK ROWLING.
- Fake Octopus Ferry Memorial. This is the best thing I’ve seen all week.
- Last week was Hailey’s birthday. In case you missed it, she was slightly happy with her present.
- The Spoon Theory has helped me more than you can imagine. If it helped you, consider helping the woman who created it if you can.
- My new favorite coin purse.
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Kathy Scheiner, fashion consultant, who introduced me to the LulaRoe clothing line that she sells here. And she kept going on about these “buttery soft leggings” and I was like, “I don’t really do leggings” but then I got some and now I live in them. They are like wearing a hug for your butt and they make you want to tell strangers to feel your legs. Anyway, join her group here and she can help you out. (LuLaRoe is a California company offering clothes sold by consultants. Seems weird but people love it. Check it out here. Buy some leggings.)