The most metal Capricorn ever.

me:  So apparently I could have murdered people if I’d just been born hundreds of years ago.

Victor:  …I’m sorry?

me:  Don’t be sorry.  Be impressed.

Victor:  Um…no.

me:  I’m reading this book and it says that according to slavic legend, people born on a Saturday were called sâbotnik, and they were natural-born vampire hunters.  And people born in the two weeks after Xmas were considered uber vampire slayers.  I’m half-slavic AND I was born on a Saturday that fell during the super vampire Xmas vacation thing.  I’M THE MOST DANGEROUS KIND OF CAPRICORN.

Victor:  Huh.

me:  I would have been granted by the other villagers official license to destroy any vampires I find, which is pretty bad-ass but also sounds a bit exhausting so I’d probably just give the stink-eye to assholes so they know I could stab them if I wasn’t so tired.

Victor:  Well, you kinda do that already.

me:  Oh…hang on.  This says that I’d probably also eventually turn into a vampire because being born on those days makes you “unclean” and apparently the only reason I could sense vampires is because I’m sort of evil too.

Victor:  Well that part still tracks.

me:  I guess it’s nice to know I could have another career if this writing thing goes to shit.

********

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Psychedelic Design Co.  This site has T-shirts, phone cases and household goods with some truly fun and original designs by a young artist.  If you’re looking for something different and original and you’d like to help an aspiring artist pursue his dream, you should totally check this site out!

57 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Is it wrong I’m kinda jealous? I’m early December… we probably become the accountants for the vampire slayers or something like that. I was going to say butler/ ladies maid initially, bc that would be the best Downton Abbey spin-off- Ever!

    Liked by 2 people

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Bag of Hair Blues….

  2. OMG Saturday morning pick-me-up.

    Like

  3. Except it’s Sunday.

    Like

  4. And THIS is why I love you. 🙂

    Like

  5. I vote for a Buffy reboot, all filmed on location at Nowhere Books. Obviously, you’re Buffy and Dorothy Barker gets to be Willow.

    Liked by 2 people

    romcomdojo recently posted Mz. Mannerz: The Cow in The Parking Lot.

  6. I’m 3 days before Christmas, so I guess I will not be a vampire? However, some of the being evil shit must have stuck to me, cuz I can be one big B when I want, which is kinda often. Love the narration of your and Victors conversations, always make me laugh.

    Like

  7. Yikes! Jenny, the vampire slayer! Your Victor sounds so much like my Harry, a patient man who accepts my wild and crazy imagination.

    Like

    Donna Lucas recently posted What the FAFSA Comes Next?.

  8. It’s always good to have a backup plan! That doesn’t sound like one my high school guidance counselor knew about.

    Like

  9. I’m also a Capricorn. I was born 1 week after Christmas. So…what does it say about those born 1 week after Christmas?!

    Here’s to us Caps born near Christmas!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Giving good stink-eye is practically a super power for most Capricorns.

    Like

  11. Ugh, I just looked it up and, though not a capricorn apparently I was born on a Monday and well, that just about sums everything up for me.

    Like

  12. I’m a Saturday Capricorn born just two days after Xmas. So basically I am Buffy. awaits the call

    Like

  13. Yah I’m glad I was born at the end of January because hunting vampires sounds like to much work and I really don’t like to run. I feel there would be a lot of running involved. Good luck on your potential new career path

    Like

  14. Please cite your sources, Jenny!!!

    Like

  15. Dammit! I barely made it past April Fool’s Day! 6 hours! I’m already a hot mess – I can’t imagine the chaos had I not hung on those last few hours. Mom complained that she had to drink Cod Liver Oil to get me to leave the womb, but maybe she should have been thanking me instead. 🧐
    Making a note to bring this up next time I call her.

    Liked by 1 person

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Corpse Legs.

  16. I live in the Charlottesville area! Looking this author up now! I missed the cut off by few days. Lol. Born 1/15.

    Like

  17. What about people born on a Wednesday in July? Kind of like the opposite?

    Like

  18. I was born in the two-week period after Christmas and I just checked and it was a Saturday! I don’t think I’m Slavic though (my dad was adopted, so anything’s possible) but a friend of mine wrote a short story about how I’m a vampire, so that part checks out at least!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. I was born on a Saturday too. We could slay vampires all over the world. What a great piece of knowledge.

    Like

    Gary recently posted Duck breast sous vide and cauliflower mash.

  20. That’s pretty epic. My Mom was born on Christmas (it’s to much work to see if she was born on Saturday) but the most she’d be able to manage is to guilt the vampires into being not so evil. I mean her guilt game is on point but she’s not much of a slayer.

    Like

  21. 21
    Cynthia Turner

    You should definitely put those dioramas in your bookshop!!! They’re awesome! But then… soars you.

    Like

  22. Crap, so close. I was born ON Christmas, on a Friday, and I’m Lithuanian. So I’m almost evil?

    Like

  23. I’m a Sabotnik (but, sadly, not one of those uber types)! So much better than “Saturday’s child works hard for a living”.

    Like

  24. Stake on Saturday—a vampiric family tradition!

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 264: Sew What?.

  25. I’m an uber Vampire slayer, too. Cool.

    Like

  26. And I’m a natural-born vampire slayer! Double threat.

    Like

  27. Darn, I was born on a Wednesday ( December 20, 1967), but I think that I would still have been pretty badass back then anyway!

    Like

  28. Well, I get to check off born after Xmas -30th, but don’t get the double hit for Sat – still think it’d be cool to be a vampire Hunter extrordinaire, or at least a vampire!!

    Like

  29. I was born on a tuesday but it was 2 days after Christmas! Guess we gonna be fighting these vampires together!!

    Like

  30. I was also born on a December 29th that falls on a Saturday. Wanna form an uber vamp fighting club and see which one of us succumbs to the inner darkness first? 😛

    Like

  31. Woo hoo!!! I’m a New Years baby and a vampire slayer? Let’s go hunt some vamps Jenny!!

    Like

  32. Bloggy the Vampire Slayer! 😉

    Like

  33. Just one more reason I love you. Will you come to MD if ever I find a vampire that needs the stink-eye?

    Like

  34. January 3rd…a Saturday. 👀🦇

    Like

  35. You’re the best vampire hunting Bloggess there is! Slay ‘em with wit or they get the stake!

    Like

  36. It’s nice to have options. Being born on Groundhogs Day just doesn’t seem as impressive now. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2019/10/12/righteous-side-eye/

    Like

  37. I was born on a Tuesday in March (it fell on Good Friday one time). However, my mom was born in the the two week period after Christmas. She has never struck me as the badass vampire hunting sort.

    Like

  38. Woohoo! I’m an at least 1/2 Slav Virgo vampire slayer. Plus family from both sides of the family came from an area of Poland known for vampires. So I might be both vampire AND Slayer and that kind of internal conflict explains a lot.

    Like

  39. Three days after Christmas, but on a Thursday 😦 and Scandinavian.
    Soooo….does that mean I can still be part of your crew? We can go all Viking on their ass!

    Like

  40. According to 23 and Me, I’m 43% Slavic. I am a Capricorn but I was born on a Monday. So I guess I’m a born vampire killer but one that everyone dreads?

    Like

  41. Cap two weeks after xmas: Check. Slav: Lithuanian, close but no cigar. Still, I love anything that points out how badass us Caps are. PS and unrelated: Have y’all watched The Great Depresh? B/C Gary Gulman knows what it’s all about, friends.

    Like

  42. This is definitely me!! I was born the exact time frame.. Jan 12 was definitely a Saturday 1985 in the morning. I also have a interest in vampires, which is weird that I read this tonight… I sometimes think that I have become one I look younger than a lot of people my age… And younger people don’t think I’m as old as I say I am just like the movies and tv…

    Like

  43. I was born on a Tuesday, 8th January…. on my dad’s birthday!

    Like

  44. I was born on a Tuesday, 8th January…. on my dad’s birthday!

    Like

  45. Im Serbian born on a sat 2 days after Christmas so what am i ??? I think lucky to still be alive after 71 years lol xo

    Like

  46. You could make a Diagon Alley light up bookshelf insert… or make them suit the different bookshop sections….crime….sci fi….Childrens etc. 🙂 will your dollhouse visit the bookshop?

    Like

  47. 47
    Heather Feather

    Everything about this post makes me happy today! I read it on a Monday, waiting for the dryer/air duct cleaner people to arrive… if that doesn’t say it all….

    Like

  48. Cool,I was born December 27.Interesting read this morning! Thanks

    Like

  49. I was born January 2..❤️

    Like

  50. I was born January 2.

    Like

  51. I recall reading a legend saying that christmas eve resulted in werewolves so…

    Like

  52. Jenny Vampire slayer. Only most of the episodes are about building blanket forts, drinking wine slushies and surfing the inter tubes. With occasional “A very special episodes” where you travel with Hailey and Victor. Now we just need a theme song.

    Like

  53. ELVIS WAS BORN ON JANUARY 8TH. DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING JR. JANUARY 15TH ! “THE GREATEST” MUHAMMED ALI’S BIRTHDATE IS SIMILAR TO ELVISES;PERHAPS THE 1OTH …HE WAS ONE OF THE MOST FAMOUS N BELOVED MEN OF HIS TIME…BAR NONE!!!THE 1ST AUNT VI. JANET HUBER ON FRESH PRINCE..JAN.13TH. MRS. MICHELLE OBAMA N STEVE HARVEY JAN.17TH. I BELEIVE, SUSAN ” Erica Cane”LUCCI. JA N. N DOLLY PARTEN I BELEIVE JAN. MS. JANE FONDA DECEMBER! I KNEW SHE WAS A CAPPIE!!!!! RIGHT ON TO ALL THE POWERFUL CAPPIES WHO ” NEVER” GIVE UP.INCLUDING ME, FRIDAY JAN.13TH . OH YEAH N JULIE DREYFUSS HAS ABOUT THE SAME B.DAY! HOWEVER BAD FOLK N, CLUELESS LAMBS ;MIGHT BE AS
    BAD .AS V.PIRES…LOL!!! “BEWARE”!!!

    Like

  54. Me, The greatest Mohammed Ali, Susan” Erica Cane” Lucci, Julia L. Dreyfuss, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. the fist Aunt Viv from “The Fresh Prince of Belair” Janet Huber- Whitten, Elvis Presley , Jane Fonda! Mrs. Michelle Obama, Steve Harvey n I think MS. Dolly Parton. . YEP, IF NECCESSARY WE COULD ” WHOOP EM”! HOWEVER. “If they did not start somethin, wouldn’t be nothing”!!! Don’t think.us mature ones looked for trouble but …….

    Like

  55. Well, I was born on 12/28 but on a Thursday. However, my relatives came from the foothills of the Carpathian Mountains, so maybe I can still be a vampire slayer? I’m not too keen on drinking blood, but I’m pretty worthless during the day, and am perkier at night, so maybe it all works out?

    Like

  56. Good to be a metal Capricorn anyway, those terrycloth ones just don’t last…

    Like

  57. I am totally a Vampire-killing badass too!! December 28 the year I was born was a Saturday!! Capricorn Vampire killers rock!!

    Like

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