me: So apparently I could have murdered people if I’d just been born hundreds of years ago.
Victor: …I’m sorry?
me: Don’t be sorry. Be impressed.
me: I’m reading this book and it says that according to slavic legend, people born on a Saturday were called sâbotnik, and they were natural-born vampire hunters. And people born in the two weeks after Xmas were considered uber vampire slayers. I’m half-slavic AND I was born on a Saturday that fell during the super vampire Xmas vacation thing. I’M THE MOST DANGEROUS KIND OF CAPRICORN.
me: I would have been granted by the other villagers official license to destroy any vampires I find, which is pretty bad-ass but also sounds a bit exhausting so I’d probably just give the stink-eye to assholes so they know I could stab them if I wasn’t so tired.
Victor: Well, you kinda do that already.
me: Oh…hang on. This says that I’d probably also eventually turn into a vampire because being born on those days makes you “unclean” and apparently the only reason I could sense vampires is because I’m sort of evil too.
Victor: Well that part still tracks.
me: I guess it’s nice to know I could have another career if this writing thing goes to shit.
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- As requested: TAKE YOUR MEDS
- This thread is everything.
- The Funniest Audiobooks of All Time
- I want this for the bookshop so bad it hurts.
- Teddy the talking porcupine is what October is made of.
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