I just got a copy of the Russian version of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and I used google to poorly translate the cover and this is now becoming my new favorite thing.
This is what it actually looks like in real life but after running running it through google’s auto-translating cameras, we get something a bit different.
“what is this?” Fair question, honestly.
Then we jump straight to what I can only assume is a sexual proposition. Additionally, “an untrue memoir” pops up on the side and this starts a very long sidebar argument the book seems to have with itself over and over.
“Let’s…let’s foot. What is this? DO NOT HAVE!” I have a lot of questions but, in fairness, I’m pretty sure I’ve said this exact phrase while drunk. The sidebar now reads “WRONG…right in the middle of a memoir” which seems harsh but accurate.
“FALSE. a very true memoir.” A lot of mixed messages here.
This is the closest I got to accuracy and thought I should probably stop there but then I flipped over to the back cover to really find out what this book is about.
And turns out, it’s all about my childhood longing for…elk. Apparently.
But my absolute favorite translations were those that praised the book, and I immediately changed my instagram bio to “IGNORING THE LIMITS OF DECENCY” because that is pure fire.
Bonus: My humor is “not only shitty” (which seems vaguely insulting but also not?) but then Jesus saves it all and calls me the “prettiest offender”.
Jenny Lawson, elk craver, Jesus’ prettiest offender. That’s going on my gravestone, y’all.