blogging about blogging again – Page 6

My cat ruined Christmas and this post.

AAARGH. I just wrote a really long and vaguely funny post about why I would never teach my cat to smoke, while angrily screaming “YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF” to said cat as Victor locked himself if the office and vowed to not come out until I passed a drug test, but then the electricityContinue reading “My cat ruined Christmas and this post.”

Someone find me a tattoo parlor

Every time I tell Victor to scratch the super-itchy part of my shoulder-blade that I can’t reach he never gets the right spot, and I get more and more frustrated and I scream “NOT THERE. SCRATCH WHERE IT FEELS LIKE SPIDER EGGS ARE HATCHING UNDER MY SKIN”, and then he yells “You’re not pointing atContinue reading “Someone find me a tattoo parlor”

My cat has terrible handwriting

Victor: I’m afraid to even ask this, but why do you have a reminder on the calendar to “set up an apartment for the cat“? me: What? That doesn’t sound like something I’d do. Victor: Actually, it sounds exactly like something you’d do. me: Why would I set the cat up with an apartment? That’sContinue reading “My cat has terrible handwriting”

SOMEONE GET ME A LAWYER. And a sandwich. And a sandwich for my lawyer, because I don’t like to share my food.

In 2008 I wrote about my revolutionary idea to advertise on the side of stray, shaven cats: An excerpt: “…It’s moments like these that make me want to quit blogging and tweeting, and instead find a less complicated way to communicate with the world. Like throwing leaflets off my roof, or tattooing random thoughts on stray cats. Except I’d have to shave the catsContinue reading “SOMEONE GET ME A LAWYER. And a sandwich. And a sandwich for my lawyer, because I don’t like to share my food.”

I’m out of the hole.

It’s Sunday and I’m finally crawling out of this depression. Yeehaw, motherfuckers. If you’re currently in the throes of a depression (or are in the position of watching someone who is) please remember that depression is a lying bastard and that this will pass. And life will be brighter again. I promise. Thank you forContinue reading “I’m out of the hole.”

AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD

Actual conversation with my husband, as we were driving down a Texas back-road yesterday: me: OH MY GOD, WHAT WAS THAT? Victor: What? me: You need to stop the car so I can get out, BECAUSE I JUST SAW A BEAR EATING GRASS ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. Victor: Okay, I don’t even knowContinue reading “AND THEN I SAW A SASQUATCH ON THE ROAD”