If I was a dog I’d be dead by now – Page 6

The (Oxymoronic) Blue Bird of Happiness

A few months ago I mentioned that my friend, Brooke Shaden, came to my house to shoot my portrait. We climbed down into the nearby swamp and I dressed up in a bunch of thrift store clothes that wouldn’t even zip up over my chest and I only fell into the swamp twice. And we climbed trees andContinue reading “The (Oxymoronic) Blue Bird of Happiness”

UPDATED: My belly button has popped out and I’m not pregnant. Is this normal or am I dying? Seriously.

UPDATED BELOW… So, this is a weird post and you should skip it if you’re easily grossed out. Still here? Awesome. You are my kind of people. The kind that can’t look away from grossness. Let’s go watch horror movies together. But not today because I think I might be dying. I’m probably not dying, butContinue reading “UPDATED: My belly button has popped out and I’m not pregnant. Is this normal or am I dying? Seriously.”

Two years ago

Two years ago they hadn’t found a way to treat my rheumatoid arthritis. Two years ago I was a usual visitor to the emergency room when my pain would get so bad that only narcotic injections would stop it. Two years ago my vacations always ended in wheelchairs, I took drugs that made my faceContinue reading “Two years ago”

Tightrope walker

Today I turn 38. 37 was a hard year, but a good year. It was a year of hospital beds and wheelchairs, of worry and mental illness, of fear and more fear. It was also a year of being ridiculous and silly, of finding drugs that helped more than hurt, of laughter and finding myContinue reading “Tightrope walker”

I just paid to have someone beat me up

I just had my first ever Swedish massage and it was awesome, except for the parts when I thought I was going to be murdered. Halfway through the guy told me to “smell” I was all “What?” and I opened my eyes and his hands were over my face like he was just about toContinue reading “I just paid to have someone beat me up”

There might be some sort of voodoo curse on me.

I’m three weeks behind on this but I actually do have a very good reason which does not involve drinking or taxidermied alligators, for once. Victor got a really horrific infection in his broken arm and was in the hospital for so long that I forgot where I lived. Then Hailey and I both cameContinue reading “There might be some sort of voodoo curse on me.”