Just sad – Page 5 – The Bloggess

It’s called a skill because you have to work at it.

Screenshot from an actual ad that a nearby sailing school sent me: “Sailing, like invisibility, is a skill that can last a lifetime”. Baffled. I’m just baffled. PS. I showed this to Victor and he pointed out that they did say that invisibility is a “skill” rather than a natural talent, so technically if IContinue reading “It’s called a skill because you have to work at it.”

I did almost all of this in my pajamas.

This week on my sex column (which is satirical and relatively safe for work if your boss isn’t an asshole): The internet is entertaining/terrifying This week on the internets: I got interviewed by 5 Minutes for Mom and I looked fat and also I was a little drunk and I wasn’t allowed to curse or talk aboutContinue reading “I did almost all of this in my pajamas.”

You win this round, neighborhood watch program.

This is a conversation I had with my neighbor when I was bringing in groceries and it’s also why I’m never going to buy groceries again because my self-esteem can’t take it: My next door neighbor: “So I guess you’re not going to the neighborhood watch program again tonight?” Me: “When is it?” Neighbor: “AtContinue reading “You win this round, neighborhood watch program.”

OhMyGod, shut up, me.

This is a terrible video blog about my trip to get eaten by giant squid with famous people next week. Also, a lot of this information might be totally wrong because I’m kind of high right now bad with details. Also I’m not this blue in person but I am totally this annoying. Part 2:Continue reading “OhMyGod, shut up, me.”

If I see Steve Jobs I am going to bite him in the face

So I kept telling Victor I wanted a mac because all the cool people have one and he’s all “You HATE change. Stick with your PC that I built out of Pterodactyls because that’s how long ago it was. PC’s are awesome if you are a Republican.” But then my friend Laura was all “BasicallyContinue reading “If I see Steve Jobs I am going to bite him in the face”

The time I got verbally assaulted at HEB UPDATED: Never mind.

Two things that happened to me this morning at the grocery store: 1. Victor insulted me by implying that I didn’t know how to use a mop because I called him to tell him I was buying a mop since we can’t afford a maid now that I’m unemployed and I started yelling at him that I did tooContinue reading “The time I got verbally assaulted at HEB *UPDATED*: Never mind.”