Today I got a box filled with vintage glass cow eyeballs. Except replace “vintage glass cow eyeballs” with “new copies of the UK version of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened“. They’re very similar in that they are both fairly baffling and people can’t help but pick them up and wonder at them. And also, youContinue reading “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. Unless you win. Then it totally happened.”
Category Archives: Let’s Pretend This Never Happened
PLEASE COME! (No pressure or anything.)
The last leg of my book tour starts just in a few days and I just realized that it’s on April Fool’s Day. I can only assume that I’m going to show up and the bookstore is going to be like “What? There’s no event here. This is a marina. You’ve been booked to scrapeContinue reading “PLEASE COME! (No pressure or anything.)”
Thank you!
EEEEEEEE. That is the sound of a hamster being squeezed too tightly by a three-year-old. It is also the sound I’m making after finding out that your tremendous support of the paperback version of my book (which came out last week) is now #5 on the NYT paperback list. I am so incredibly lucky to haveContinue reading “Thank you!”
Burdle is a real word. Don't question me, spellcheck.
Conversation with my husband: Victor: Ugh. I’m having a shitty day. me: What’s wrong? Release your burdle unto me. Victor: Um…my what? me: Your burdle. it’s short for “bundle of burdens”. Victor: That’s not a real word. me: It is. I just used it. Victor: Just because you say it doesn’t mean that it’s aContinue reading “Burdle is a real word. Don't question me, spellcheck.”
BUY MY BIRDFEEDERS
On March 4th the paperback version of my book comes out. It’s cheaper than the hardback and it has an extra chapter – which seems sort of unfair to those of you who bought the hardback – but on the plus side, you can buy the paperback, read the extra chapter (and the book clubContinue reading “BUY MY BIRDFEEDERS”
Next class: How to keep bees with handguns
I don’t have a lot to say here because I live in a mixed political home and so things are always a bit tense here after election day, but I will say that we can all stand together as one nation in hatred of that sound you get when you try to erase something, butContinue reading “Next class: How to keep bees with handguns”
MY BOOKS:
Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.
Archives
MY INSTAGRAM
Remember last week when Hailey graduated from kindergarten?
Last high school dance.
Yesterday I was telling my friends that I have to take Hailey to the Blossom Culp stadium for graduation practice and they looked at me weird bc apparently it’s the “Blossom stadium” and I’ve been saying it wrong for years and I just realized that Blossom Culp was the heroine of Richard Peck book series I loved when I was little and had forgotten existed until now.
When the roles are reversed and your child tells you to go to sleep and then records you for their TikTok.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
