Let’s Pretend This Never Happened – Page 5

Thank you. Seriously.

This isn’t a real post. It’s a thank you. Thank you because for the third week in a row Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is on the NYT list. Thank you because today is the premiere of my book in the UK. Thank you for making the tour so successful that they’ve added another legContinue reading “Thank you. Seriously.”

Ron Weasel-y

Remember last month when I added Ermione Granger to my collection of ethically taxidermied creatures who look great in clothes? And then I said the next step would be to find Ron Weasel-y and then Victor threatened to divorce me if I didn’t stop buying dead animals? Well, my marriage is still intact because thisContinue reading “Ron Weasel-y”

Subtle bribery

I’m still in full tour mode (next stop Florida!) so to make it up to you for being MIA I’m giving out a signed copy of the UK version of my book and a signed copy of the audiobook (which includes an extra chapter, me singing the titles, and a blooper reel). All you haveContinue reading “Subtle bribery”

What happens on tour stays all over the internet

I’ve been on a bit of a whirlwind book tour and I haven’t had much time to let you know what’s been going on, so I’m going to do a quick update pulled directly from my journal: ************ My editor couldn’t decide between a bottle of wine or a hat made from actual roadkill asContinue reading “What happens on tour stays all over the internet”

PETA is Fine, But Sometimes I Question Their Priorities

Below is an actual email conversation between me and PETA. (FYI: This happened over a year ago and I was going to put it in my book as an addendum to my pets-eaten-by-hobos chapter but it was too long, so if you bought my book just consider this a bonus chapter. Also, if you haven’tContinue reading “PETA is Fine, But Sometimes I Question Their Priorities”

I have three nipples

I’ve gotten a lot of weird gifts over my tour but so far this was a favorite. Someone gave me a nipple. A homemade nipple. AND IT’S AWESOME. That is, until I got glitter on it and then it was stuck to the latex and I was trying to pull the glitter off of myContinue reading “I have three nipples”