Category Archives: Nathan Fillion: It’s complicated

Submitted without comment…

…Except that I’m totally going to comment because I can’t shut up.  If you weren’t reading here a year and a half ago you are totally not going to understand this but I can’t really explain it because I sort of implied that I wouldn’t talk about it anymore, but there is no fucking way that I can’t post this, so let me just say that 1) I love Nathan Fillion and no one should fuck with him or even mention this to him because I think it makes him sad and even God cries when Captain Mal is sad, and 2) celebrities holding random, bizarre things for the joy of being silly automatically soaks up oil spills and makes kitten’s eyes extra shiny.

And so, without further ado, a 51st-century rogue time agent (slash) Doctor’s companion just being fucking awesome:

The man manages to make everything look sexy. I’m pretty sure he impregnated that spool just by holding it.

PS.  Special thanks to the fantastic John Barrowman and to my sweet friend Maria.

PPS.  This doesn’t count as a real post.  I’ll post something real in a minute after you’ve had a second to fist-pump with glee and/or be extremely confused.

YOU GUYS.

Okay, if you aren’t an avid reader of this blog this will make no sense at all so just skip to the post I wrote this morning about taxidermy robot mice instead.

For everyone else who has been here long enough to understand The Great Twine Debacle of 2012 please read on…

I’m just now catching up on last week’s Doctor Who, and there’s a scene at the beginning where he’s being searched and exactly what comes out of his pocket?

The Doctor's Pockets. Which would make an excellent episode, now that I think about it. Please get on this, Neil Gaiman.

The Doctor: "I would like a receipt for that."

You know what that is? THAT'S TWINE, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Is it a random coincidence?  Possibly.  Except that most Whovians agree there are no random coincidences when it comes to Doctor Who.  Only awesomeness.  And twine.

Also, it’s ridiculous how happy this bit of random nonsense makes me and I choose to believe that it is a special message to all of us about the importance of being ridiculously silly whenever possible.

Thank you, Doctor.  You have no idea how much I needed that.

I don't know who made this image so I can't credit them, but this is one of my favorite Doctor quotes ever and it fits so damn well here. (ETA: The artist is Mel Siermaczeski. Click image for link.)

PS. For fellow Whovians, tomorrow is Impossible Astronaut Day.  Thought you should know:

I suspect I’ve set a record for not being chosen to be on game shows

Conversation between me and Victor:

me:  I think if I was ever on a game show and I didn’t know the answer I’d just say “Children should NOT be forcibly placed on spikes” because then the host would be forced to say “No.  That is incorrect.”

Victor:  Hmm.

me:  So basically Pat Sajak would be on tv implying that children should be forcibly put on spikes.  And then I’d be like “Well, I want a second opinion, Pat.  Because children are not kabobs.

Victor:  I’m not even listening to you anymore.

***********

In unrelated news, it’s time for the weekly wrap up.

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by So Then…Stories, where Darcy Perdu shares her escapades, encounters and blunders – and invites you to do the same.  I highly recommend.

The end of Nathan Fillion

I’m torn about even posting this but I think I owe it to Nathan Fillion to make sure that people on my blog and on twitter know that he finally responded to the eternal twine joke and that he declined publicly on reddit so we should just leave him alone.

A very sweet fan asked on reddit if he was aware of our request for a ridiculous picture of himself holding twine and he responded to her:

From Nathan:

Sigh. Please understand. I’m an actor. I act, tell stories, all for a living. My job is not to respond to every demand placed upon me from an audience on the Internet. I don’t do those things because I don’t feel it’s right to ask. I don’t ask those things of my gardener, the guy at the car wash, or the kid who bags my groceries. Why ask it of someone because they are an actor? Is that being fair? The argument could be made that its only one request, but then how many people would be unhappy that it wasn’t their request I responded to? Not all actors care about things like this, but I do. It’s just a product of my experience. The more people push, the meaner it gets, the more uncomfortable it is for me. Thank you for letting me get that off my chest. I hope we can all put it in the past with no hard feelings. I don’t have any.

My response:

Hi. I’m the chick who asked for the twine picture a billion years ago (in internet time). Thanks so much for finally answering this question. Without a response I had no way of knowing if you were okay with me continuing to joke about it or not, but now that I know I can happily give up my ridiculous quest. Thanks for responding and I wish you luck in your fabulous career. Please know that I only chose you because you seem like a good sport, you’re as active on twitter as I am and I’ve always loved your work.

Just to answer a few other questions brought up here in the comments, I did originally offer Nathan $750 for himself or for his charity to take the picture (because as an author I’m a big fan of his get-kids-to-read-charity). After that it just became a running gag that I thought wouldn’t hurt someone of his stature from my little blog. When I go on book tour (leaving again in a few days) “Has Nathan Fillion ever held twine” is the number one question I get. People love you and so they want that connection with you and think it’s easy to think that we all have a one-on-one connection with you.

On the other side of the coin, I’m asked for ridiculous things and pictures all of the time and try to do them because I only have 1/6th of the twitter audience that you have and so it’s easier for me. Also, my only job is to be a storyteller so I have much more time to be ridiculous. (And I’m not referring to being a “famous blogger” which I would never classify myself as. I {surprisingly} have a book on the NYT list about all the ways that I have mortified myself. It’s a very thick book.)

I do appreciate you taking the time to answer this and from now on when people ask if you’ve taken the twine picture instead of answering “I still have hope” I will say that you’ve respectfully declined and I’m sure my fans will just be happy that you responded.

Thanks for not having any hard feelings and good luck with all you do in the future!

In related news (and this is the last I will say on the subject out of respect for Nathan Fillion’s feelings) my husband is my gardener, the guy who washes my car and the person who helps me with my groceries and he said he didn’t really want to pose with a ball of twine either.

Point, Nathan Fillion.

MAGIC!

Okay, I’m still raising ads for Pony Danza but we need to take a time out right now because, YOU GUYS.

This is a picture of the lovely Anne Wheaton (who once made me nachos) being pleasantly manhandled by Nathan Fillion as Wil Wheaton photo bombs the whole thing.

Awesome.

What makes this already perfect picture a thousand times better?  Wil assures me that his pockets totally were stuffed with twine at the time.  Thus, we now have the first picture of Nathan Fillion with twine.  Granted, the twine isn’t visible, but I think the magnificent photo bomb makes up for that, don’t you?

Never change, Wil Wheaton.

Never change.

Normal squirrels don’t sit like that. Just saying.

My friend April from Regretsy practically threatened to stab me in the face when she thought I’d outbid her on this insane taxidermied squirrel who is flashing his little squirrel nut-sack at the world.  (Click the link.  You need to see this shit.)  I assured April that she was very off-base, as we were BOTH being outbid on it.  I considered telling her we should pool our resources and just share the squirrel like recently divorced parents, but then I saw this little treasure:

Well, hello there.

And yes, at first I saw what you’re probably seeing….a strangely posed, non-nutsacked, extremely dead squirrel in a very unnatural position.  And then I looked  a little closer and realized that my current cell phone cover is cracked and that this would make a fucking fantastic replacement.  Not just because it would be fuzzyy and ergonomic if I need to hold it against my shoulder, but also because it would hardly ever get lost in my purse, and no one would accidentally pick up my phone thinking it was theirs.  Plus, when I put my phone on the table at restaurants it would just look like a squirrel was hanging out with me, and squirrels only hang out with cool people.  And if I put my phone on vibrate the squirrel would buzz across the table like he was alive and growling.

It’s like the best accessory ever.

me, on my squirrel phone

PS.  I probably should have waited until the bidding was over before I posted about this.  Damn it, Jenny.

PPS.  If you only check my blog once a day you may have missed it yesterday when I promised Simon Pegg that I’d leave Nathan Fillion alone and then my good karma was reward by Wil Wheaton and Jeri Ryan and the whole world sending me pictures of their spatulas.

Just your typical Monday, really.