phoning it in – Page 6

Dear New York Airport: Maybe next time you could have us land in a pit of vipers that are also on fire. Just to keep things new.

Last week I was at the Blogher conference and it’s too complicated to write about so instead I’m just going to re-write the notes I jotted in my journal while I was there because I’m really tired and I believe in phoning it in. Also, if this is the first time you’re reading me youContinue reading “Dear New York Airport: Maybe next time you could have us land in a pit of vipers that are also on fire. Just to keep things new.”

Oh, Twilight. You’re ruining it for everyone.

PS. I’m sick with some sort of plague. We’re still in the process of moving because we couldn’t fit everything in the moving van so my new house is filled with boxes of things that go inside furniture that isn’t actually here. We’ve been attacked by scorpions. I can’t find the box with my clothes in itContinue reading “Oh, Twilight. You’re ruining it for everyone.”

UPDATED: I’m not sure this is sending the right message

One of my friends sent me this website where you can upload your picture and it’ll show you what you’re gonna look like in 20 years and you totally shouldn’t do it because first of all I don’t think they take the ready availability of plastic surgery into account, and secondly? I’m pretty sure theyContinue reading “UPDATED: I’m not sure this is sending the right message”

Sometimes I worry that they aren’t entirely random

My friend Van (aka furiousball) is a (seemingly) perfectly normal man who has been leaving me random, bizarre comments for literally years. They’re bizarre non sequiters that have nothing at all to do with anything I’m writing about and I assume most people just skip over them but when you put them all together there’sContinue reading “Sometimes I worry that they aren’t *entirely* random”

Happy Father’s Day! (This counts as a card.)

You know how the oven has that “self-cleaning” feature where you hit a button and it goes up to volcano temperature and it burns off all the germs and junk in there and then you never have to actually scrub it down? This is exactly why I need a flame thrower to clean the toilets.Continue reading “Happy Father’s Day! (This counts as a card.)”

Random thoughts that should be burned

I was looking at my blog and I noticed that I have 162 posts in my draft folder. These are all posts that I started but never finished because they didn’t feel substantial enough to be published but then I thought that maybe if I clumped 3 or 4 of them together they would beContinue reading “Random thoughts that should be burned”