Post that people who don’t twitter won’t get – Page 2

Can you carry an alligator on a plane? Answer: I still don’t entirely know.

If you follow me on twitter then you already know that yesterday I bought and smuggled a dead alligator onto a plane so you can just skip the next paragraph and go straight to the money-shot below. If you missed it, I’ll just sum up by saying that if you ask twitter if it’s legalContinue reading “Can you carry an alligator on a plane? Answer: I still don’t entirely know.”

Dear internet: You have lost your damn mind. Never change.

If this is your first time here you should skip this post. Really. Go away until tomorrow. It’s one long run-on sentence and makes almost no sense and it’s filled with typos. I haven’t slept in two days. The last 36 hours has been strange even by my personal standards. First of all, after twoContinue reading “Dear internet: You have lost your damn mind. Never change.”

(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton

Dear Wil Wheaton, Hi. I’m sure you must be very confused about my insistent tweets asking for a picture of you collating, and about the fact that the I Blame Wil Wheaton shirt was given an award for being one of the most viewed shirts on zazzle. First of all, let me assure you thatContinue reading “(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton”

I THREATENED TO CUT HER: The exciting new trend no one is talking about.

I just got an email letting me know that some twitter analysis website had named me the number one trendsetter in the category of “I THREATENED TO CUT HER“. Which is odd because I’m the only person listed in this entire category. I’m pretty sure that’s not how trends work. Updated: Oh, hang on. They’veContinue reading “I THREATENED TO CUT HER: The exciting new trend no one is talking about.”

MORE GRAVY IN 2011

It’s my birthday in less than two hours and if you follow me on twitter you probably already know that since I just had a long, accidentally confusing discussion there about pony gravy and arthritis and I somehow came to the conclusion that there are a lot of people who have extra gravy but I neverContinue reading “MORE GRAVY IN 2011”

And then I met Neil Gaiman

I’m behind on a deadline but I have to write this now or I will forget all the details so get ready for the most confusing, phoned-in post ever. In fact, it’s almost all copied directly from my journal and the bulleted quotes are straight from my twitter account and so the tenses aren’t evenContinue reading “And then I met Neil Gaiman”