rants – Page 9 – The Bloggess

So I got a box in the mail filled with 80 body parts

So yesterday I got a box of body parts in the mail and when I pieced them all together they were a bunch of angry cross-dressers. I couldn’t make this shit up. Lego sent me this to celebrate their new line or anniversary or something and I honestly have no idea what the hell to say hereContinue reading “So I got a box in the mail filled with 80 body parts”

I bet 700 years in the future they don’t even know what a “fail whale” is

I just got back from watching Wall-e for like the 18th time because they won’t let me bring my three-year-old into Tropic Thunder and every time I’m sitting there watching Wall-e I’m thinking “WTF?” but then I get home and can’t remember what I was WTF-ing about later but this time I had a pen and so IContinue reading “I bet 700 years in the future they don’t even know what a “fail whale” is”

I need an editor

Hi. I’m a dumbass. I have a degree in Journalism (seriously) and yet I cannot use apostrophes. In fact, the very reason I’m not actually a Journalist right now is that AP Style was created to destroy me. Me: The client plead guilty. My editor: Incorrect. The client pleaded guilty. Me: Tonight I will set fire toContinue reading “I need an editor”

I may be overreacting

You know who I hate so much I just want to stab them in the face and then peel off all their face skin and scream into their open nose holes about how much I hate them? People who only use one space after a sentence instead of two. I might be overreacting slightly because I’m totally panickedContinue reading “I may be overreacting”

I will murder my husband this Wednesday

Phone conversation with my husband who is trying to destroy me: Me: Can you watch Hailey this Wednesday? Victor: Which Wednesday? Me: This Wednesday. Victor: ‘This’ Wednesday means the Wednesday of this week which has already passed. Did you mean next Wednesday? Me: No. I mean THIS Wednesday, like this coming Wednesday. This very next Wednesday. Victor: Yeah,Continue reading “I will murder my husband this Wednesday”

The post where I finally get sued

Are you following me on twitter? If not, you missed the mini-rants that made Victor have to hide the knives last week. Here’s a taste: **For some reason, my fave site (sk*rt) is changing their name. On an entirely unrelated note, I HATE Skirt! Magazine.** **For those of you who are confused on the two skirt references ofContinue reading “The post where I finally get sued”