Sometimes I get Top Gun and real life confused in my head

#OCCUPYCOLBERT (UPDATED)

See updates below… Dear Stephen Colbert. Ow. Last night, as a huge fan of your work, I was watching your show when I heard your opening joke at 4:10: “They say every time God closes a door he opens a window. That’s why Heaven has such huge air-conditioning bills.” And I had to agree thatContinue reading “#OCCUPYCOLBERT (UPDATED)”

UPDATED: And then the PR guy called me “a fucking bitch”. I can’t even make this shit up.

SEE UPDATES BELOW… I know I just posted a few hours ago, but I’m posting again because you all know how dedicated I am to writing about PR pitches (both good and bad) and this one just can’t wait. I got a form letter email pitch (more than one, actually) about a Kardashian sister beingContinue reading “UPDATED: And then the PR guy called me “a fucking bitch”. I can’t even make this shit up.”

UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.

The SXSW festival is an hour from my house but I never go to it because crowds scare the shit out of me and also because it’s super expensive and I don’t have enough xanax and/or facial hair to fit in there, but last week I got invited to some kind of SXSW civility luncheonContinue reading “UPDATED: SXSW…sort of.”

(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton

Dear Wil Wheaton, Hi. I’m sure you must be very confused about my insistent tweets asking for a picture of you collating, and about the fact that the I Blame Wil Wheaton shirt was given an award for being one of the most viewed shirts on zazzle. First of all, let me assure you thatContinue reading “(UPDATED: NOW WITH MORE WIL WHEATON) An open letter to Wil Wheaton”

I can’t tell if I won this argument or lost it. I’d feel better if I at least had nachos.

Conversation with my husband: Victor: Look at this video. It’s about a company that invented a tool that lets you drive using only your mind. me: Awesome. I’m so glad we’re making such huge advances in the field of driving-a-car-without-hands. It’s good that the scientists have a new priority now that they’ve found a cureContinue reading “I can’t tell if I won this argument or lost it. I’d feel better if I at least had nachos.”

I’ll be available for hire next week if the rest of the chupacabra body goes up for sale

Last week I got an email from a lady named Sarah who founded Juice in the City. You might be asking yourself, “What is Juice in the City and why are they emailing Jenny?” I wondered the same thing but it turns out that they wanted to hire me as their social media consultant forContinue reading “I’ll be available for hire next week if the rest of the chupacabra body goes up for sale”