Sometimes I get Top Gun and real life confused in my head – Page 2

UPDATED: My new year’s resolution is to get you to stop asking me about my new year’s resolutions.

People keep asking me what my New Year’s resolutions are and I tell them that I don’t have any and then they get all pissy because they assume that I think I don’t need to change but it’s really just that I’m too bored with myself to invest any more time thinking about me, andContinue reading “UPDATED: My new year’s resolution is to get you to stop asking me about my new year’s resolutions.”

Because some things are worth more than a box of cereal

Hi. I’m about to overstep my boundaries. You might want to back away slowly because I don’t usually do this and I might get blood on you. Okay, I’m pissed. Legitimately, ridiculously, slightly irrationally pissed. A few minutes ago I got a pitch from a company who wanted me to write a review for theirContinue reading “Because some things are worth more than a box of cereal”

For sale: Kristoffer Kristofferson. (The other one.)

I’m packing up to move but I really don’t want to move everything, so I’ve decided to sell some stuff on ebay since that worked out so well last time. Except that ebay has a tendency to delete all of my auctions almost as soon as I post them so I’m also going to postContinue reading “For sale: Kristoffer Kristofferson. (The other one.)”

I have a weird sort of life

I just got an email inviting me to the inauguration of the Mayor of Malibu, who also happens to be Clint Eastwood’s stunt man and body double. You remember him. I met him that time I landed on that aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific ocean and accused everyone of being cylons andContinue reading “I have a weird sort of life”

What’s really sad is that this isn’t a joke at all and that my mom actually was subjected to all of these emails

A series of inappropriate emails I sent to my mother which she has not responded to at all. (This is all totally true, by the way. That’s what makes it so very awful. FYI: Lisa is my sister. Gabi is my niece. My mother is a saint.) To: Mom Sent: 2:02pm Weird. I can’t evenContinue reading “What’s really sad is that this isn’t a joke at all and that my mom actually was subjected to all of these emails”