I decided not to post this yesterday because I thought it would be too offensive, and so instead I posted about sugar, which was apparently a terrible idea. So instead I’m going to post the original post to distract people from my scandalous and heretical use of sugar limericks. Email conversation between myself and myContinue reading “I’d like to think that God would laugh at these.”
Not long ago I got an email from Jane Pratt (creator of Sassy, Jane Magazine, and personal hero of mine since I was 12) who asked if I’d be a writer for her new website. After I stopped screaming I finally responded. This is the actual email I sent. It’s also proof that I need someoneContinue reading “This is why I shouldn’t be allowed to work with people”
Dear Target: I realize that you’re probably trying to be helpful by printing item descriptions on my reciept but I’m pretty sure the logical keyword for “BigSexyHairspray” should be “hairspray“. Not “sexy“. Otherwise when you’re fumbling for your keys and drop your receipt in the parking lot a well-meaning stranger will pick it up andContinue reading “Stop being an asshole, Target”
If this is your first time here you should skip this post. Really. Go away until tomorrow. It’s one long run-on sentence and makes almost no sense and it’s filled with typos. I haven’t slept in two days. The last 36 hours has been strange even by my personal standards. First of all, after twoContinue reading “Dear internet: You have lost your damn mind. Never change.”
Conversation I had this morning with my husband: Victor: What are you doing? me: I’m photo-shopping my picture to see what I’ll look like when I get turned into a werewolf. Victor: *sigh* me: I mean “if”. If I get turned into a werewolf. Turns out? Not such a bad look for me. Way betterContinue reading “I’d also want him to shoot me in the face for the good of humanity. It’s not *all* vanity, people.”
In honor of Presidents Day. And of me being too lazy to write a proper post. More of the latter really. Happy day, presidents.