So the other day Victor and I were at a resale shop and I saw this little bit of fried gold.
And Victor was like, “That is toddler’s tutu and we don’t have a toddler” and I explained that it was a vintage, hand-sewn costume AND CROWN for $15 and that he just didn’t have the right kind of eyes to see its magic and then he may have accused me of becoming a hoarder because I was buying something I’d never use and I accused him of being a terrible parent because it was the perfect size for Judy Snarland and then the cashier just sort of stared at us because I guess he wasn’t used to couples having disagreements in the store.
And so I explained to the cashier, “Judy Snarland is our daughter” and Victor was all, “JUDY SNARLAND IS A DEAD CAT YOU LIKE TO DRESS UP IN PEOPLE CLOTHES” and then the cashier was probably convinced I actually was a hoarder so I pulled out my phone and showed him pictures and explained that Judy Snarland is a taxidermied bobcat rescued from an estate sale who would look fantastic in turquoise and the cashier did not disagree.
(Victor would like to point out that the cashier didn’t agree either and was probably just scared.)
Regardless, Judy Snarland was thrilled.
But it was almost impossible to get the tutu on myself (by myself, I mean…I didn’t try to wear it myself) so I asked for help and Victor was like, “I’m busy being less crazy than you” and I kept ripping the the claw covers off Judy’s paws and that’s why I currently have cat scratches from a bobcat that’s been dead for 50 years.
But after two bandaids (and some help from Hailey) Judy Snarland was ready for her close-up.
But then I was like, “I dunno…is it too much?” and Victor was like, “It’s a taxidermied bobcat in a sequined tutu. Of-fucking-course it’s too much. It’s always been too much.” But Hailey understood what I was saying and suggested that “less is more” when it comes to bobcat costuming and I think they’re absolutely right.
Perfection.
PS. Thank you for all the sweet words last week. I’m feeling a bit better and am crossing every finger that I’m moving steadily out of this hole.
You have a bobcat in a tutu, I think that alone is proof that things are always getting better!
Where’s the crown??
She’s perfect.
And so are you, in your own, unique way.
Count me in as a charter member of the Judy Snarland Fan Club!
The tutu is purrfection. And I’m very glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
and Victor was all, “JUDY SNARLAND IS A DEAD CAT YOU LIKE TO DRESS UP IN PEOPLE CLOTHES”
Hailey was correct – the crown was too much – Judy look purrfect
This makes my day (and it’s not been an easy one) thank you for what you write and share. I hope for better days and nights for us all
Omg Judy rocks that! I’m impressed by your eye for costuming, I would never be able to guess Judy’s size accurately.
The perfection is here severely understated
She’s gorgeous!
Love it! But I also like the crown. Would the crown fit your raccoon? It would make a lovely ballet scene with Judy in her tutu and Raccoon in a crown—and maybe little ballet tights? Sort of like The Nutcracker?
(YOU. ARE. BRILLIANT. ~ Jenny)
She’s beautiful! But, I do think she should get to wear the crown.🐅👑
Oh, YOU are perfection. Tears running out of my eyes, snort laughing. Thank you again for making this world a better (and more interesting place).
Tell Judy she looks fabulous!
I have never seen a more thrilled lookong 50 year old dead cat receiving a tutu. I think this means you win, Victor is crazy.
Judy needs nail caps in a different color to match that beautiful tutu
If I worked in that shop, that surely would have been my favorite interaction with customers all year. Also, Judy looks stunning in her new dress.
Considering the crazy or horrible news this month, bring on the dead cat in a tutu and crown!
OMG – I remember in vivid detail wearing costumes just like this back in the 60s. It looks much more appropriate on Cat Snarland! I give you mad props for getting it on and arranged just so. Victor doesn’t know what he’s going on about on this one!
Love it! Beautiful eye for design. You are a special, unique, and beautiful person.
“Turquoise is a very flattering color on a taxidermy bobcat” is a phrase I never thought I’d say…and yet, yes, it is very fitting. Brava, Mrs. Lawson.
I agree that Judy should only wear one of her gowns at a time.
In this case, less is definitely more! Judy looks fab in her new garb.
Thank you for the laugh as I considered the look on the cashier’s face!
“and that’s why I currently have cat scratches from a bobcat that’s been dead for 50 years.”
Bwahahahahaha!!!
I snorted and laughed so loud I startled 3 cats. I showed them the photos, and I think “Minnie”(Minerva McGonagall) was suitably impressed, although “Ginny” (Ginny Weasley) ust sniffed the phone and ‘Snape” wondered where the treats are. Thank you for making my day.
The people at the craft store fear me, after I bought a barbie top for a doll cake and explained how it was part of a grand Doctor Who cupcake caper to return a box of weeping angels to my sis-in-law. They asked if I was making a disney princess cake, and I had to defend my honor! (the doll top was dismembered for decorations honoring 9 and one of MANY who references).
“Special” by Lizzo. That’s YOU! Love you! You had me at “I was with Victor.” He cracks me up so much and I love y’all together.
So glad to see Judy Snarland!
… and so glad she’s not in MY house :D:D:D
Take care dear Jenny!
I so needed this today.
I’m having trouble convincing my husband that random, taxidermied animals would be the proper decor for our home. Should I continue trying to convince him or just nag him into submission? Also, where does one find these things? I’m considering stealing, but I don’t know if that’s a chance I’m willing to take or if I’m tough enough for prison. Please advise.
Judy Snarland is clearly living her best [after]life: perhaps a chevalier would be appropriate now she is wearing her costume rather than a practice tutu? 🤔
I just love you Jenny ❣️❣️❣️🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻
I am dying to see a video of you trying to get that tutu on her!
I truly hope nothing happens to you, but I’d also love to be a fly on the wall when you try to explain infected scratches from a bobcat thats been dead 50 years at the ER! 😆
Turquoise is definitely her color! Someone needs to wear that cool crown, though. Perhaps it can become part of a display at Nowhere.
Now all she needs is fairy wings!
Oh howling laughing, love it, she needs the crown ! Good eye Jenny to spot that gown.
You definitely need to send a pic to that store!!
Oh Wonder sings a song called Hallelujah. It goes
“There’s a crown, covered in glitter and gold. I’m going to wear it whether you like it or not”
And its from their album entitled
“No One Else Can Wear Your Crown”
I’m still foggy on how this translates into:
a t-shirt for you, Hailey and ESPECIALLY Victor, (No One Else Can Wear Your Crown (?))
victory cry (“I’ll be singing halle halle halle halle hallelujah, whether you like it or not”)
and Judy Snarland wearing the crown as grandly and conspicuously as possible.
Isn’t this how partners tell one another “I love you”?
With singing, glitter, snarky logos on stylish t-shirts and bold gold crowns on taxidermied anything and everything?
💕
I was telling a friend about your book “Broken” yesterday, and how much I have enjoyed reading it. I’ve read it twice and probably will again.
This blog is such a welcome glimpse of you and who you are.
Thank you for making yourself so accessible to your fans and helping us find our way through our own stressful times by sharing how you get through yours.
You are such a gifted, creative and fun person.
Save the crown for Mardi Gras. This is a “fancy” dress and needs to be treated as such; not a costume. I’d pay good money to follow you and Victor into vintage shops just to listen. Hope your cycle flips over soon. IMT, we will listen.
Judy Snarland looks awesome in her ballerina outfit! You definitely win this argument.
I’m glad you are feeling better.
Its the little things like this marvelous find that make you realize, tomorrow might be better than today, and you just might find a perfect dress up costume for a taxidermy animal. Or something else equally marvelous, you just never know….
Omg I FUCKING needed this today! 😂
I’m feeling extra Broken this week, myself, and needed a laugh. Hugs, everyone.
She is absofuckinglutely ridiculously fantastic! Victor clearly just doesn’t understand Fashion™.
I was literally laughing out loud while reading this, totally forgetting that I’m at work. My office mate was like why are you laughing and I said I was looking at a 50 year dead bobcat in a sequined tutu. I’m pretty sure I just got the same look you got from Victor……
Hello Jenny, Great costume changes!! I’m not sure how you got Judy Snarland into the tutu, but seeing as how she won’t actually be dancing, could you just pin it to her front? Or maybe cut the tutu open down the back and then wrap it around her and safety pin it together again? I ask because I feel there should be more costume changes in her future, and we should eliminate any collateral damage to yourself in the process. I am on board with this!.
I was feeling slightly depressed today and then I read about Judy Saarland.Thank you!
My wife says, “If a taxidermied bobcat in a tutu doesn’t bring you out of a depression what will?” which shows that I chose wisely, and then added, “Plus the fact that she went shopping!” We rest our case.
I love this so much! As soon as I find the perfect taxidermy animal, I’m getting one. You inspire me!! I’m glad you’re starting to feel better! 🥰
I love the costume!
Have you continued Ketamine? My daughter gets IM Ketamine shots every 3 weeks in Austin and she stays out of significant depression on this schedule. I know the same group offers the shots in San Antonio.
I was telling my therapist about you. I think I’m in trouble. I don’t care. Just Snarland rocks!
i ABSOLUTELY needed to see a bobcat in a tutu today. i didn’t know i needed that, but i thoroughly enjoyed it. thank you!!!
Oh that’s funny 🤣
A true visionary. ❤️
You and Victor are equally completely right and absolutely wrong for each other and it brings me such joy seeing you all maneuver through your beautifully chaotic relationship. Hailey is clearly their mom’s kid and it’s fantastic.
She looks marvelous. It’s adorable. Some men do not have an eye for fashion. Im so glad you’re feeling better. You are awesome and wish you knew how much I adore you.
Judy is awesome but I think Hailey’s right on the less is more. The crown was just too much. Maybe the crown is better for the raccoon whose name I forget (apologies, I’m bad with names).
I think you should go back to the store to personally thank the cashier for selling the tutu to you and show off these pictures. I am sure he has been wondering how it all worked out. In fact, he might have an opinion re: the crown.
You always brighten my day.
Judy Snarland looks fantastic! Victor just doesn’t understand fine art like you and Hailey do.
But that’s okay, he is brilliant at business.
We all have our own strengths.
Sending hugs for keeping the brain weasels away.
Lisa
You are my favorite human. Love your books, love everything you write. You always make me smile.
Sandy Filla?
Do you have photos of the Doctor Who cake?! I am interested in seeing that!
I’m always looking for MY Judy Snarland, but I haven’t found them yet. Until it happens I shall continue to covet yours.
Jenny,
I hope your spirits continue to ease. I am relieved for you.
Judy Snarland must be over the rainbow to have such a fancy outfit. YOU should wear the crown, especially when you go shopping. and when you and Judy have tea with Hailey.
I wish you continued mending of the soul,
Ruth
I think turquoise is absolutely Judy Snarland’s color. The peach, though lovely, made her look a bit washed out. Well done!
What did Victor expect after he not only found Judy Snarland, he paid money for her and brought her to her forever home?
My actual live cat would rock that dress! Although I am sure that she would disagree vehemently, and with claws.
This is the best thing I saw all day!Nothing like a dead bobcat in a dress to brighten my day!You are so awesome!
This post is a perfect example of why I fell in love with your writing. HILARIOUS. It’s the “matter of fact, this is absolutely normal, of course I would need this,” tone that makes your voice so brilliant. Cheers!
Judy definitely deserves to wear the crown too. What a brilliant outfit. Glad you are feeling better.
I love your family – they’re almost as weird as my own (in a different way)….and the entire conversation was bringing up so many memories of the first post that introduced me to you (Beyonce the Chicken)…I have tears of laughter running down my face, because I know I won’t be able to read it out to my mother without losing it with hysterics…..
“Bobcat in a tutu you know, you know it’s serious!”
(I have been bingeing a bit of First Wave on Sirus XM and they have been hitting The Smiths/Morrissey pretty hard this week [although tbh, Morrissey needs to get hit pretty hard])
So, sorry, not sorry for that earworm.
Nailed it! And she looks so happy. This made my day♥ And I’m sure that cashier is furever changed 🙂
Lose the hat. Add the crown.
I think she’s purrrrrfect! Thank you for bringing joy into my often dark days. Things are looking up. Hang in there. Feeling feelings are hard – not having feelings though and being in a hole is harder. We love you!
Judy looks so much happier now!
Shame on Victor for not seeing how happy Judy Snarland is in her lovely tutu.
Crown for special occasions! Like Thursdays 🙂
Glad to hear you’re seeing some light
I think you’re feeling better! At least for the moment, because this is classic Bloggess material right here:) Love it!
I could swear Judy looks happier in the last photo. Or maybe I’m seeing things. Either way, she looks awesome!
LOL!!!! love the pictures which really help the story. I was having a rough day & this laugh helped me forget the stress. thanks! can’t wait to see what Judy Snarland will wear next…
Thank you. The photo of Judy holding the tutu up in front of her is the best. She looks so happy.
“I’m busy being less crazy than you.” Needs to be on a t-shirt. It is now my new favorite phrase.
Oh Judy Judy Judy! You are fabulous!
1. Thank you for that 2. My depression hole is also getting better but my anxiety pit has since missed me and insisted I visit which is where I’ve been sinking into until 3. I read this and laughed out loud on BART (basically the San Francisco subway) because 4. Judy Snarland in that turquoise and gold confection is perfection which brings me back to 1. Thank you for so much
This is exactly what I needed for today!
Ummm I feel like maybe jewelry would perfectly finish her look. Maybe delicate lacy beaded bracelets?
Got pointed to this from the Balloon Juice blog.
This is a fantastic piece of writing. Love it!
I need to go thrifting in Texas. She looks beautiful. My dad gave a bobcat head mount as a gift. Like it’s a bobcat popsicle stick on a fake rock. I have plans. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2022/07/30/grow-crystals-on-everything/
This entire story is terrifying.
I am new to your blog. I just read your books and felt an immediate kinship with you. Thank you for sharing your stories.
I agree with Hailey that two tutus is too much.
Judy Snarland is lovely in turquoise.
I am going to quote Victor’s “I’m busy being less crazy than you” for the entirety of my remaining time in this life.
“And that’s why I currently have cat scratches from a bobcat that’s been dead for 50 years.” I think you now have the title for your next book! Unless it’s about having four nickels for backing over your trash can being excessive. You go, girl!
Just keep being you.
OMG I kind of love it.
You’re my hero. Like a Superhero where weird is your superpower.
Jenny, I have a Taxidermied frog playing a guitar received as a Wedding Gift years ago. I think you would love it in your menagerie? Tell me where to send it and it is yours. I can send a photo thru text if you need to see it.
screaming and crying laughing…:)
I LOVE IT!! Needed a laugh today! The dear bobcat needs a matching crown made of woven desert flowers with a few feathers thrown in perhaps? That would be lovely… 😸
Omg. You popped up in my Facebook and I fucking forgot how funny you are! Thank you ❤️
I absolutely loved this, so much so that I cried with laughter. More Judy Snarland please xx