this blog cures cancer – Page 2

You DESERVE this.

A few days ago they announced the Bloggie Award winners and unsurprisingly I lost in both of the categories I was a finalist in. Victor was out of town so I called him to tell him. me: They just announced the winners of the Bloggie Awards. Victor: The one where you got disqualified becauseContinue reading “You DESERVE this.”

Ode to a blog commenter

Hi. I’m about to break your computer because I don’t understand how image compression works but stick with me because it’s totally worth it. It’s no secret that my commenters are almost always way funnier than me. That’s why I do the “comment of the day” whenever I remember to. Because then I can stealContinue reading “Ode to a blog commenter”

It’s called “entrapment”, Target.

Remember last week when I innocently took a picture of some confusing Diet Dr Pepper in Target and then days later it created a huge international incident of angry people who don’t understand satire? Me too. So today when I was at Target I looked toward the shelf where the infamous Diet Dr. Pepper hadContinue reading “It’s called “entrapment”, Target.”

Men don’t understand science.

This was supposed to be a post about how awesome towels are but then my cat Rolly fucked it all up. I was going to share my discovery about how if you wrap your hair up in a tight towel-turban when you’re upside down after a shower it pulls your face-skin back so it’s all tautContinue reading “Men don’t understand science.”

UPDATED X 5: Why voter-driven awards are fundamentally flawed.

I just got a bunch of emails from people telling me I was on the front page of the Shorty Awards, which I’d never even heard of but apparently it’s some sort of People’s Choice contest for Twitter so I clicked the link to check it out and found out that I’m currently in 5th place…Continue reading “UPDATED X 5: Why voter-driven awards are fundamentally flawed.”

Let’s vow to never have 2009 again.

Tonight I’m sitting here at home reflecting on the success of my last year’s New Year’s Resolution, which was to never, ever come up with New Year’s Resolutions again. It worked out well, if by “worked out well” you mean “failed to accomplish anything of value at all”. Which I do. So, yay me. ThisContinue reading “Let’s vow to never have 2009 again.”