I swear, I don’t usually post about my cat this much

July 25, 2011

in my cat's toes,Random crap

Ferris Mewler is back from the animal hospital today, after losing both his claws (it was medically necessary.  Stop judging me) and his testicles (for cosmetic reasons.  Kidding.).  He’ll be in a hard collar for the rest of the week, much to the amusement of the other cats, whom he has mercilessly terrorized and bullied since day one.  I’m usually not one for sharing 200 pictures of my cat, but today it’s hard not to make an exception.  He looks like he’s dressed like a martini for Halloween.

Homecoming:

It's easy for cats to be sarcastic, because they can't accidentally laugh in the middle of their insults.

There was *nothing* accidental about this.

"What? Take a nap. I won't pee on you. WHY WOULD I?"

A lesser person probably would have considered making a game of seeing how many ping-ping balls she could throw in there, but *I* would never do that. BECAUSE I LOVE THAT DAMN CAT. And also because I don't own any ping-pong balls.

I do, however, own dry-erase markers.

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Geek Mom’s Ramblings: Blue Monday is Blue | Geek Mom Rambling
July 25, 2011 at 3:40 pm

{ 339 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kelly July 25, 2011 at 2:27 pm

I wonder what Ferris Mewler’s celebrity voice is?

2 Caroline July 25, 2011 at 2:28 pm

Best use of photoshop with the kitty porn-stache

3 Alison July 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Oh my goodness! That last picture is my FAVOURITE! Amazing!!!!!
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4 Amber H July 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

This is just what I needed after the hell of the morning I had! Thanks :)

5 Jason Black July 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Oh, you photoshopped that!

Still funny, though… :)

(Only because I couldn’t get it to look right in real life. Moustaches are harder to draw than I expected. ~Jenny)
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6 Kelli July 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

Priceless. You could throw wads of toilet paper…
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7 Corinne July 25, 2011 at 2:29 pm

The mustache adds a nice touch of what are now only dreams of masculinity.

Funny stuff. Animals in cones always crack me up. (Poor things.)
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8 ze_t July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Mustache cat is not amused, but I am! hahahahaha! In all seriousness though, hope he gets well soon.

9 Kristen July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

I’m so glad I’m not the only crazy lady out there posting obscene amounts about my cats.

Ferris Mewler and your little orange/white kitty look just like two of mine!

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10 Laura D. July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

Stache picture is made of win!

11 Cassondra July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

I would TOTALLY play with ping pong balls. Now golf balls would be cruel and unusual.
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12 Allyn July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

You make me want a kitteh. Shh… don’t tell the fiance. He can’t know he’s won yet.
He might just be jealous of the mustache. Poor little Asian with a lack of facial hair.
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13 Carrie July 25, 2011 at 2:30 pm

OMFG was I laughing out loud in my office. I love that you love your cats and I really love that you shared this…even if I am a dog person with a sever cat allergy, natch

14 jessica@domesticated-bliss July 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

OMG this is so hilarious! That cat looks pissed off! I love that his buddies are giving him hell about that cone!

15 FishSticked July 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

The last photo makes this series of cat photos acceptable. And awesome.
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16 Mindy July 25, 2011 at 2:31 pm

Seriously laughing my ass off.
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17 Loralee July 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

That’s it.

I am totally dressing up as a cat martini with a porn stache for Halloween this year.
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18 Coffee Lovin Mom July 25, 2011 at 2:32 pm

You could make up some little foil balls for the game…although somehow I don’t think that would cheer him up at all…
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19 Toy Warden July 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

Best use of sarcastic cat captions I’ve seen in a long time. I was totally laughing and I’m not the “can I haz cheeseburger?” cat picture type. Well done.
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20 Nancy P July 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

HAAA! I especially love “You are such a dick”

21 Stefanie July 25, 2011 at 2:33 pm

How the fuck do you not own ping pong balls?
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22 Momma Teacher Lady July 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

You’re a brave lady. I have this fear of cats: they’re sneaky, and they always look like they’re plotting something. I’d be afraid of having my throat sliced by a claw while I was sleeping. Oh, wait, that’s why you had them removed . . .
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23 pookike July 25, 2011 at 2:34 pm

ferris mewler is like the greatest cat name ever!!what are your other cat’s names? oooh you could throw grapes instead of ping pong balls

24 Jenny the bloggess July 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Posey Von Lichtenstein and Rolly Wiggles.

25 Jen July 25, 2011 at 2:35 pm

Love it! However, I would have left out the bit about your ping pong ball-less-ness. You know you’re going to be getting obscene amounts of ping pong balls in the mail, don’t you?
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26 Craig July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Glue a pet treat to the outside of the collar and start filming.

27 Jaime July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

that last pic of your cat totally made me snort out loud at my desk at work… so thanks for that… my Monday has been really crappy and I needed that..

here’s to a speedy recovery for Ferris!

28 Leatrice Hargrove July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

I ALWAYS get busted at work when I read you because I laugh until I cry! Quit being so funny or I’m going to get fired!!!

29 Maria Louise July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm
30 Mo July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Bullying is such a hot topic right now, I think this could totally make a good PSA.
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31 magpie July 25, 2011 at 2:36 pm

you know, cats love ping pong balls. so, you have a double reason for getting them – the photo op, and the fun they’ll have chasing them all over your house.

32 Jenn July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Oh my totally laughed out loud at the last picture!

33 Just A. Reader July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I needed that. I’m not sure Ferris Mewler agrees.

34 Luna July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

And you just made my day so much better. You win my ethereal friend.

35 Courtney July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

I’m rolling laughing at the last picture. I’m surprised that you haven’t made any martini cracks yet.
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36 Christine Riojas July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Payback is a bitch! Love this!!

37 Kendall July 25, 2011 at 2:38 pm

Ferris Mewler: Now offering mustache rides, ladies.

38 Tamela July 25, 2011 at 2:39 pm

There aren’t enough ways to say thank you for this.

39 Jessica @ Stylish Stealthy and Healthy July 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Just so you know… I am pretty much obsessed with your blog.
That is all.
Oh and I kind of want another pet so I can name it Ferris Mewler.
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40 Kitten Thunder's Girl July 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

Oh, the suppressed rage in those eyes…

Poor kitteh. At least we all know that collar isn’t going to last the prescribed amount of time, right? When Poco was declawed, way back when it was really a big surgery, she came home with those big bandages on her paws that were supposed to last a week. She walked into the house, shook off one bandage with a flick of her wrist. Flicked off the other. And went on about her day. Cats? Badasses.
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41 Laura July 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

I don’t like cats, but the mustache is great!

42 Judy July 25, 2011 at 2:40 pm

You can throw olives..you know to complete the martini look

43 Steph July 25, 2011 at 2:42 pm

I’m crying from laughing over here! Now I can’t WAIT to get my kitten fixed and declawed in September. FUN times await.
PS, I love that you’re a cat person.
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44 John B July 25, 2011 at 2:42 pm

OMG. The mustache! Best use of dry erase marker ever! EVER!
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45 Laura BB July 25, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Seriously – are you in my brain or something? Or are we taking the same drugs, because these are the same types of comments I would post if I could, and if I was funny, and had time and had 3 cats. It’s like your my id (Freud id, not “yes I am clearly over 21 you high-school dropout checker are the grocery store so give me my damn Mike’s Hard Lemonade and let me get the fuck home” id)(Yes, it irritates me rather than flatters me when I get carded. I need that alcohol and I don’t need to be identified by you!)

46 Misty July 25, 2011 at 2:43 pm

You should definitely make an olive to put in that Catini. Kittini. Pussini. I don’t know. You’re the bartender, you choose the name.
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47 Katie July 25, 2011 at 2:44 pm

He’ll remember this. In 6 years he’ll pee in your favorite shoes. It won’t be because he’s got kidney issues.
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48 elena July 25, 2011 at 2:45 pm

he looks so debonair with a mustache. perchance he should be *sir* ferris mewler.

49 T.M. Camp July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

This. Is. Brilliant. Period.
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50 Christine July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Now I have “I do not like the Cone of Shame” on a constant loop in my head. So, thanks? But I also haven’t laughed so hard in a long time, so , yes, thanks.

51 Ann July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

Just wait until he eats canned food. It can be a real mess.

Oh, and my cat took out 3 vet techs when he woke up with his balls missing. When I came to get him I had to go out back and get him out of the kennel because they were too scared.

52 Josh July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Quis.
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53 Jami July 25, 2011 at 2:46 pm

I was going to ask how Ferris is going to get a drink of water, but never mind … he’s at the bottom of a big-ass glass. L.O.V.I.N.G. the Stash Cat pic!

We have no ping-pong balls at our house, either. (No jokes about our ping-pong being neutered.) However, my 15-year-old son asked just yesterday if we could get a couple dozen because he found out from a friend how to use them to make smoke bombs. Hey, what are friends for? (Still no ping-pong balls.)
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54 mrtl July 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

Toy mouse attached to string attached to the outside edge of the cone. You think he could figure out how to catapult the mouse inside the cone?
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55 Rachel B July 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I think we may have stumbled upon a derivative of beer pong that involves cats, martini glasses, and ping pongs. I’m going home to play right now. Rest assured, for every shot I miss I will be drinking a martini.
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56 Diana July 25, 2011 at 2:47 pm

I think grey tabbies are just naturally good at looking/being evil. My evil grey tabby: http://tinyurl.com/3rv3web

I wonder if Ferris is going to get his ass kicked now that he is partially incapacitated? It would be a good time for Posey and Rolly to exact their revenge.

P.S. The black ‘stache was a touch of comedic brilliance.
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57 Anonymous July 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Just toss a couple of olives in there! Hahahaha

58 Kristin July 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Dressed like a martini for Halloween! CRACKED ME UP!

59 Penbleth July 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Mister Mewler does look awfully dapper in that last shot. Such a shame he won’t be able to entertain the ladies for a while, or fully ever again.
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60 Erin July 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

Oh my god I love that! Poor guy!
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61 Kirsten July 25, 2011 at 2:48 pm

With 3 cats, you’re like 42% lesbian. You’re welcome.
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62 Michele July 25, 2011 at 2:49 pm

Poor Ferris. He does make me want a martini though. I hope I have green olives.
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63 Sara July 25, 2011 at 2:50 pm

I seriously needed this laugh right now… thank you!!

64 Tania B July 25, 2011 at 2:50 pm

Oh poor Ferris. I’m sure he will get you back some day. Mine got me back the other day when I awoke to the smell (stench) of cat poop on my pillow. Yup. Some kind of explosion must have happened and I got to wake to my cat looking rather befuddled and my pillows covered in cat poo splatter. Good morning!

65 lisahgolden July 25, 2011 at 2:51 pm

Hilarious! So now is he the Big Cat with the Little Mustache or the Little Cat with the Big Mustache?
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66 Kara July 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm

I hate cats. There I said it.

But I love that damn mustache on the collar of the cat. Too freaking funny. It does make you want to play beer pong though. It would add a side of adventure chasing a cat while holding a beer and seeing if you can get it in the collar. Brilliant.
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67 Julie July 25, 2011 at 2:52 pm

Here’s hopes his balls and claws have a speedy recovery. :)

Julie
ilikebeerandbabies.blogspot.com
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68 Lisa July 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm

omg. I was laughing so hard I snorted. HYSTERICAL.

69 Sherree July 25, 2011 at 2:53 pm

OMG I didn’t just laugh, I snorted. Had to show to my Mr and then he snorted. The stache’ just kills me, along with the daggers he’s shooting you…
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70 Kelly O'Sullivan July 25, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Cat with mustache! Almost as much fun as Beyonce. Almost looking forward to my cats next visit with the local vet. Do you think the vet will wonder why I want to plastic cone when he’s just there for a teeth cleaning?

71 Brenna July 25, 2011 at 2:55 pm

He looks so debonair with that mustache!
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72 Jessica July 25, 2011 at 2:56 pm

Whoa, is your cat polydactyl? Because those pics make Mewler… Mewler… Mewler… look totally polydactyl…

(Totally polydactly. ~ Jenny)

73 Dawn July 25, 2011 at 2:57 pm

We used to have a cat that LOVED olives. Since he is pretending to be a martini…..

74 Greta Barron July 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

I’m TOTALLY dressing my baby up as a martini this October. I’m sick of his uppity attitude at 2:30am. Is it wrong to seek revenge on a 2month old?

75 Carmen July 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Thanks for the awesome “laughed-until-I-cried” Monday! You rock Jenny!

76 flomineek July 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

Amazing!

Cat-stache has made this looooonnnngggg day infinitely better.

More cat-staches!
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77 Laura July 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

So funny cuz it’s true. I wonder what would happen if you had turned him into a martini somehow. I’ve always thought cats + booze should = good fun!
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78 kate July 25, 2011 at 2:58 pm

awesomeness jenny! … especially the ping pong balls and the ‘stache!

79 Heather July 25, 2011 at 2:59 pm

LOL I love the mustache LOL
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80 Cedarflame July 25, 2011 at 3:00 pm

Can he pick-up any Sattelite Stations?

81 Kim July 25, 2011 at 3:01 pm

That cat is scary. Period.

He freaked me out before the surgery with his overt sexuality & he is freaking me out now with his thinly disguised homicidal rage.

Hide ya kids! Hide ya wife!
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82 joy July 25, 2011 at 3:02 pm

I see a coffee table book and maybe a made-for-TV movie coming out of this situation.
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83 Violet July 25, 2011 at 3:03 pm

I would give eleventy million dollars to know what is going on in that freaky cat’s head.
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84 Mads July 25, 2011 at 3:05 pm

I honestly don’t mind 200 pictures of Ferris Mewler, as long as there are other hilarious posts sprinkled in there as well. His naturally cranky-looking face makes him hilarious and adorable.
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85 Crystal July 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I am not a cat person – and that is still the funniest thing I’ve seen all day. Possibly in several days. LOVE it!
Crystal
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86 Dana July 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

HILARIOUS!!!! I hated that cone when my dog had it. :)
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87 Debora Dale July 25, 2011 at 3:06 pm

I LOVE these pictures and captions!! So funny. I volunteer in an animal shelter and have six adopted cats of my own so I know these attitudes well. You captured the essence of the cats perfectly. LOVE the dry-erase mustache. :-) You made my day with these. Thanks!! :-)

88 Sylvia July 25, 2011 at 3:08 pm

Sooo…. I just recommended you as a speaker for an anti-bullying event (not sure if they followed up w/you or if you “do that”), however just realized that judging by the last few posts, someone that is not familiar with how awesome you are may get the totally wrong idea… haha…
P.S.: Stop bullying your cat (p.s.s.: grapes… definitely – more humane than marbles)

89 Balanced Idjit July 25, 2011 at 3:10 pm

Ferris is gonna get me fired today, I swear on all that is holy. I just YELPED in the office. Please tell Victor that the internet has asked that he take away your sharpies. It would greatly help the employed readers. thanksverymuchly.
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90 ADDGirl July 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

So I was having this really crappy day where I just had to call the police because my neighbor wont leave my yard, and I was all grumpy and anxious. Then I read this and the last picture made me lol, and now my whole day is better. I think Ferris Mewler has magical powers. (Or maybe it’s you)
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91 steph gas July 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

one of my cats had been in a soft collar. until he got shit on it while using the litter box. i don’t want to know how, but i refused to clean it off. awesome husband threw it out. so, there goes that.
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92 Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz July 25, 2011 at 3:11 pm

You could always fold up dollar bills and toss them in the ‘cup’ and that way he’d have some money when he decides to run away…
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93 Kathryn July 25, 2011 at 3:14 pm

So, this was hilarious! Right up there with metal chicken humor. After I finished laughing I showed it to my husband. He is now completely convinced we need to get a ‘cone’ for our 3 year old. Thanks for making me laugh and also for making me have to pay extra special attention that my husband isn’t out shopping for a toddler-size cone of shame. You rock!

94 Annadanna (from Canada) July 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

You DID NOT draw a mustash on Feris Mewler. You DID NOT. What a cruel, cruel world for a cat.

My friend’s cat recenlt needed one of those asshole collars. Instead, he got him a blow up neck brace so he could eat more easily. The cat would slide his front feet through the hole and walk around with an inner-tube type thing around his waist. Hilarious. And cruel.
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95 Jamie July 25, 2011 at 3:15 pm

I think I need a cat just so I can do this to him!
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96 Claudia July 25, 2011 at 3:21 pm

Have you seen this link? I think you would totally love it….
http://mycatisadick.com/

97 Rebecca @ How the Cookies Crumble July 25, 2011 at 3:24 pm

Hahhaha! Poor kitty. I’ll send you some ping pong balls if you take more pics of mustaches!

98 Laurie July 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Why is it cats tend to look like they SHOULD have mustaches?
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99 Ferris Mewler July 25, 2011 at 3:30 pm

Dear Mom (and I use the term loosely);

I have suffered through your unending midnight wanderings; your tendency to sneak invincible fowl into my inner sanctum, and your love of the phrase “Fanatical Pussy Stalker” as well as any man. But you, Mother, you have gone too far! Not only have you empowered the upcoming coup from my underlings, you have also ecatsculated me in front your fans. You are pandering Mother, and panderers end up crazy, cardigan-wearing, politicians who spend their afternoons dancing in airport bathroom stalls.

As your faithful cat I have brought you innumerable meals. From crickets, pigeons, squirrels and dust bunnies, I have hunted non-stop to put food on your table. You are only human and cannot be trusted to feed your self. My gods look at how Dad just lays around with nary a spear to chunk at wandering mammoths!

Just remember Mother. You sleep with your mouth open and your toes out from under the covers.

Sleep well,
Ferris

PS – the catnip has been in short supply and Posey has worms.

100 Susan M July 25, 2011 at 3:38 pm

SO funny! Laughing out loud here in the office !!

101 Bandit July 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm

Too funny. Feel free to post cat pics anytime you can make fun of their lack of testicles and other misfortunes.

102 Ingrid July 25, 2011 at 3:41 pm

O.M.G. I’m crying … thanks for the laugh!

103 Mary July 25, 2011 at 3:42 pm

My favorite picture is the one where he is looking up at you telling you he hates you. But really, couldn’t all cats do that everyday because dogs love us, but cats love themselves. Hence the bullying problem.
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104 Cathy Essick July 25, 2011 at 3:43 pm

Fucking hilarious.

105 Angela@BeggingTheAnswer July 25, 2011 at 3:44 pm

I foresee some sort of cat-moustache trend in the very near future…
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106 Meegan July 25, 2011 at 3:45 pm

I have never seen a cat with more hatred in its eyes. Poor kitty. Laughing so hard at your cat dialog. Did you take a special class for that? Dialog is very difficult to master!

107 ShredderFeeder July 25, 2011 at 3:45 pm

ROTFLMFAO….

The first thing that came to mind was the Cat-Martini glass….

The Second was I should probably stop laughing or my co-workers are going to put ME in one of these collars…

The third was that might be fun in the right setting, but not at work.
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108 Johi July 25, 2011 at 3:46 pm

When I was the office manager (I answered phones) at a Veterinary clinic, we called those E-Collars, short for Elizabethan Collar. Which makes me think that I would love to see Ferris dressed as Queen Elizabeth. I think that he would love it too…. Yes. Queen Elizabeth with a MOOOOStauche.
I’m bored, can you tell?
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109 Jen C July 25, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I’ve spent my whole day with my 7 month old who is exploding out of each end. This made me laugh so much and be thankful my metaphorical balls are still present. Thanks Jenny

110 octopusgrabbus July 25, 2011 at 3:48 pm

These pictures remind me of my two cats, Cromwell (gray shorthair) and Theta (lynx-point siamese). Cromwell got a little absent minded in his old age. He’d come along and start licking Theta, go on auto-pilot and forget to stop. Theta’s face would tighten and tighten, until she’d let Cromwell have a no-claws open paw, and then he’d go away.

111 EdT. July 25, 2011 at 3:48 pm

Jenny – are you telling us that Ferris Mewler no longer has his thumbs?

OH THE HUGE MANATEE!!!

~EdT.
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112 Wupppy July 25, 2011 at 3:49 pm

I just want to say I’m relieved there are no pictures of his testicles in this post… But you sure showed some balls, cats don’t forget ya’know
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113 Suze July 25, 2011 at 3:51 pm

That’s so awesome! When I got that done my my cat, he had trouble eating. The cone would scoop up food from his bowl when he tried. LOVE the kitty ‘stash. :-)
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114 Lesley July 25, 2011 at 3:52 pm

My boy cat Jackson would cry EVERY time I drove past the Vets office that removed his balls. Its like he KNEW. I hope Mr.Mewler feels better. Make sure those other cats don’t pick on him to much!
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115 Twinzplusone July 25, 2011 at 3:52 pm

Holy smoke I just choked on my coffee with that last photo ..

The moustache suits him though :-)

116 Amy July 25, 2011 at 3:58 pm

Nothing will elicit a fuck you very much from a cat quicker than a martini cone. Except possibly a new puppy. He will recover just fine. Love Posey getting a little back!

117 White Tiger Diva July 25, 2011 at 3:59 pm

Girl, toss some cottonballs in that cone. Your daughter could play and you could tell her it’s a game like they play at the County Fair. Make the cat hate the whole family not just you! Keep the camera handy for all the hysterics of him bouncing off the furniture, walls and doors. Hours of entertainment for all… (Yes, I do have cats!) Thanks for the laugh on a Monday!

118 Connie July 25, 2011 at 4:00 pm

I had to excuse myself from my desk as my laughter was not appropriate for workplace behavior.

I may have snorted.

Twice.

It makes me feel better about what I just posted of my cat…
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119 Major Bedhead July 25, 2011 at 4:05 pm

He looks like Hercule Poirot in that last picture.

120 Dawne July 25, 2011 at 4:13 pm

Well, if Ferris doesn’t have any balls, I don’t think it’s fair that you should own any, either.

I love that you’re a cat person. And he’s totally going to kill you, as evidenced by that third picture.

Someone needs to Photoshop an image of that vampire guy with a Cone of Shame around his neck and see if the similarity is stiil there.
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121 shannon July 25, 2011 at 4:14 pm

omg- thank you for the laugh….my abs hurt

122 Miss Smarty Britches July 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm

I think I just peed myself. And now my fellow ‘school hasn’t started but we are all at school working anyways’ friends thought I was having a spaz attack.

Cats are fucking hilarious. They always have the best facial expressions. I think we should all take more advantage of them for humor like this.
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123 angelica July 25, 2011 at 4:19 pm

OMG I’d piss on my pants if I was wearing any. that is seriously funny. although in the last photo your cat looks like he hates you and is planning his vengeance… fair is fair though
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124 Virginia July 25, 2011 at 4:26 pm

I wish I had your imagination when my cat had her “Cone of Shame”. It was still very funny because whenever you looked at her she growled at you. Funny and terrifying. Mostly terrifying.

125 shalenepaige July 25, 2011 at 4:31 pm

Jenny, you really are the cure for crappy Mondays.

Dry erase markerstache just *made my day*. :D

126 Abby July 25, 2011 at 4:37 pm

Such a simple form of pet torture…I LOVE it! When my mentally handicapped cocker spaniel, Maggie was a conehead for 3 weeks, she would regularly try to use the dog door. I didn’t have the heart to take photos…oh but did I laugh and laugh and laugh.
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127 Carri July 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm

I hate cats. HOWEVER, I will seriously consider getting one if leaving the satellite dish around it’s neck for the rest of it’s life is socially acceptable. Because that shit is funny.
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128 Dawne July 25, 2011 at 4:40 pm

*still
This blog must cause more laugh-induced typos than anywhere else.
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129 Robert F-C July 25, 2011 at 4:45 pm

I laughed out and called my husband in to share the experience. He was only slightly amused as he hates cats, even ours. Nonetheless, you’d be wise to sedate him for the next few days. Nothing calculates revenge better than a pissed off cat in a cone of shame.

130 Daniela July 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

I love the mustache! Hilarious.
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131 Cheetah July 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm

OMG!! I love it! I have 3 cats, but Mr. Pickles is the only one with personality..i would so blog about him if I could!!

132 Vicki July 25, 2011 at 4:48 pm

It’s not torture if the vet *told* you to put on that cone, right? Right?? The look in those cat eyes is pretty scary, btw. Don’t leave out anything valuable, especially if it can’t be washed with industrial-strength deodorizer.

133 Candice July 25, 2011 at 5:00 pm

In some of those pictures, he so looks like he is either going to trip you so you fall down the stairs or smother you in your sleep. I would avoid the stairs and sleep with one eye open…

134 Lucy July 25, 2011 at 5:02 pm

lol, If I were Ferris I might just pee on you in your sleep because you had my balls removed and then had the nerve to throw it in my face (pun intended) with the ping pong balls.

135 Jaime July 25, 2011 at 5:10 pm

Reading this while nursing a (my – just to clarify) baby. I had to hold in my laughter so I wouldn’t disturb her. I almost peed my pants.

136 Jaime July 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm

Also – I think the mustache made him very distinguished-looking. Sort of like the most interesting cat in the world …
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137 HNtG July 25, 2011 at 5:27 pm

I’m pretty sure this post may have been funnier than the whole Beyonce thing. And it seemed so nonchalant and unintentional. You’re all, “Yeah, so my cats do things.” And we’re all “omglulz!” I can’t tell what’s funniest though. Is it the captioning? The sequence ending in hte Totally Awesome and Golden Picture? Either way, it’s positively Brilliant!
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138 Jill July 25, 2011 at 5:29 pm

I wonder if the whole martini thing would work, though. A catini… It could be a new thing… And of course, gotta have the stache…
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139 Dori July 25, 2011 at 5:31 pm

Every time I think you can’t top yourself…
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140 Sue Treiber July 25, 2011 at 5:32 pm

HI-larious!
Wish I would have thought of it when mine was in the cone of shame.

141 Phoenix Rising July 25, 2011 at 5:42 pm

I’m going to start putting collars around everything just so I can throw on a mustache!
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142 avasmommy July 25, 2011 at 5:44 pm

I only have two words. Laser pointer on the cone. Ok, that was 5 words. But who’s counting?
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143 Kez July 25, 2011 at 5:45 pm

Hilarious. Gotta love that cone of shame.
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144 Leslie July 25, 2011 at 5:51 pm

While I have sympathy for Ferris, I am overcome with a need to add to the mustache and draw a fish tank with a variety of dry erase colors!
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145 Anna July 25, 2011 at 5:54 pm

Poor Ferris Mewler’s balls! Don’t you care about the balls?? He’s probably spending his time thinking up fantastic ways to KILL YOU WHILE YOU SLEEP! Good move, Jenny, good movie. Starting the cat revolution in your house. Smart.
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146 Mrs. Cox July 25, 2011 at 5:59 pm

I don’t think that ‘stache could have been any more perfectly placed. LOL
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147 Susan Sipal July 25, 2011 at 6:13 pm

If laughter is the best medicine, you’re a heart & brain surgeon extraordinaire!

This laughter is so what I need right now. Thanks! :-)
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148 Julie | A Clear Sign July 25, 2011 at 6:14 pm

Yep, “I hate you so much right now,” seems apt. But, was it the surgery or the 200 pictures that did it? Hope you didn’t use the flash!
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149 the psycho therapist July 25, 2011 at 6:14 pm

I am tired and it has been a long day. Killer captions ala “Missing Missy” (David Thorne). Oh my god.

150 Kate July 25, 2011 at 6:20 pm

Popcorn. My cats love popcorn. and it’s light… so you won’t hurt him AND you are giving him snacks… so it’s not really torture, right?

151 Moderately Mad July 25, 2011 at 6:37 pm

So how does he eat and lick his arse?

152 Ticina July 25, 2011 at 6:43 pm

In response to Kelly.. I think it his celebrity voice is totally Sean Connery
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153 Katie July 25, 2011 at 6:54 pm

The last photo made me laugh so hard!
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154 Heather C. July 25, 2011 at 6:58 pm

Holy hell, that’s so freaking fantastic! I love it that FM has been such an ass to the other cats and they now have their revenge. I’m not a forwarder but I’ll have to send this to a few people. Thanks for the giggle.
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155 OhanaMama July 25, 2011 at 7:01 pm

The mustache is fantastic!

I think you should draw a swizzle stick and some green olives… gulp, gulp!

:-)
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156 Robin July 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Thanks for ALWAYS making my day!

Hope Ferris is feeling better soon. :(

157 Stacey July 25, 2011 at 7:07 pm

I can’t decide which photo I like best, the first with the sarcastic cat comments or the last with the photoshopped stache. Poor Ferris.
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158 Julie E July 25, 2011 at 7:25 pm

Those Elizabethan collars are FUN when it comes to giving treats though! I gave my dachshund a dog cookie when she was wearing hers, and when she tilted her head back to chomp the cookie it split and she had part of it fall into the collar. I asked her if she was saving it for later. I fished it out for her, I felt too sorry for her to laugh while she tried to figure out how to get that cookie bit into her mouth.

We just had to put her down 2 weeks ago.. she was almost 12 and my sweet puppy girl. What great memories though!
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159 Bodaciousboomer July 25, 2011 at 7:31 pm

If I were you I wouldn’t walk into a dark alley ahead of him for awhile
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160 bratgirl July 25, 2011 at 7:36 pm

On a similar, dog-related note…my mother has a mini daschund that had to have a cone on her head once. When I went over to visit, she came bounding out of the house towards me…scooping up leaves that eventually filled the cone so she could hardly see. She wasn’t the brightest dog.

161 Theresa July 25, 2011 at 7:38 pm

Your poor fucking cat. I would put those other felines in cat-protection when the cone comes off.
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162 Mary July 25, 2011 at 7:48 pm

Ferris Mewler IS Mewler, P.I. — the new cat version of Magnum, P.I., because that’s totally Selleck’s mustache.

163 The Single Teacher July 25, 2011 at 7:49 pm

I love reading your blogs. Whenever I need to smile or laugh you make it happen! Please follow my blog. I hope you find it 1/87th as humorous as yours. If not, well, at least you found another way to waste some time during the day.
http://thesingleteacher.blogspot.com/
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164 WAS July 25, 2011 at 7:52 pm

Well, you kind of had to put the stash on him so everyone knows he is a boy… since you removed his danglers.

165 Kerri. July 25, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I love this. :D

166 Tiffany July 25, 2011 at 8:28 pm

Ferris sure knows how to rock the Cone of Shame! It must be fun to watch him try to lick his way out of it :-D

167 Slimshades26 July 25, 2011 at 8:32 pm

Just physically laughed out loud. Read you in insomnia land but tonight I’m drinking so things are looking up. All hail “Beyonce”.

168 PreciousJewlz July 25, 2011 at 8:34 pm

LOL… Love the pictures of poor Ferris! Meanwhile, I found this link on I Can Haz Cheesburger After Dark (meaning its more adult content than regular LOLcats) and it reminded me of him. http://chzichcafterdark.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/funny-pictures-the-good-news-cat.jpg

Love your site, and your blog! I check in every day!

~Jewlz~

169 Sarah Maizes July 25, 2011 at 8:36 pm

I couldn’t help myself. I hijacked your lead picture and shared it on my FB page. HILARIOUS! (and I don’t even own cats…). HOW do you do dialogue with your computer! If you ever have a few mins to share your secret – I’d seriously love to know.
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170 rachel July 25, 2011 at 8:53 pm

I’m pretty sure that’s why people have pets…well it’s why I do. Because you can do ridiculous shit like http://rachelnator.com/2010/04/it-all-started-because-of-1-picture-i.html-0 & they still love you.

171 Nicole July 25, 2011 at 8:54 pm

Ok – I’m probably going to hell for this but I saw this today –

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2018470/Indian-boy-Akshat-Saxena-born-34-fingers-toes-breaks-world-record.html

and I thought of your cat….. he had surgery too…. but I think it was to remove t he extra toes and fingers – not to neuter him… hopefully.
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172 alonewithcats July 25, 2011 at 9:28 pm

After Kitten Mittens (patent pending), it was only a matter of time before you invented Cat Martinis.
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173 Brandy July 25, 2011 at 9:36 pm

Make sure to add ping pong balls to your Xmas list so that you are properly prepared in the future.
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174 Beth July 25, 2011 at 9:37 pm

The last picture is fantastic! Love the stache!

175 lauren July 25, 2011 at 9:38 pm

oh poor ferris! he’s so cute in his little cone of shame!! I have 5 cats myself and i love them all. I am a self proclaimed crazy cat lady and i have more pictures of my cats that i even do of my husband. oh yes – i’m that girl:)

176 The Single Teacher July 25, 2011 at 9:44 pm

Perhaps you could use some craft puffy balls as ping pongs from the craft drawer that Ferris likes to get glittified in. They would hurt a lot less than ping pong balls and he’s familiar with them.
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177 flatmargo July 25, 2011 at 9:51 pm

My dog had the Cone of Shame a few months ago that he would use to scoop up our kitty and run around the house with her about 100 mph. Not Appreciated…

178 LisaM July 25, 2011 at 9:56 pm

snorted my wine out my nose for these photos and captions , then passed the link along!

179 Schadenfreude Warehouse July 25, 2011 at 9:56 pm

Cat karma is a bitch when it finally comes around to bite you in the ass because, sometimes it removes your manhood and toenails in the process. If you were especially evil, you have to sport the “cone of shame” too.
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180 Elysabeth aka: MrsKapas July 25, 2011 at 10:22 pm

“Save Ferris”!

181 Rusty Hoe July 25, 2011 at 10:31 pm

I recently used my dog to pick a winner for a giveaway on my blog, I am not one to judge. I do however, think you could market cat cones with a variety of facial hair. :)
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182 Jennifer July 25, 2011 at 10:40 pm

1. Ferris Mewler is the best name ever for a cat. 2. Does Ferris Mewler have thumbs? Cats with thumbs fucking rock. 3. These are the best cat pictures on the internet, ever. 4. I don’t think I’ve commented here before, but you are furiously awesome and I’m a huge fan! Also, my husband & I got married in June 1996 so I felt like we were celebrating our anniversary with you, in spirit.
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183 Kat Lady July 25, 2011 at 10:53 pm

So, my Icarus, who is coincidentally wearing a “cone of shame” as well, just sat up in my arms as I read this. He looked at the screen, and when the mustache pic came up, he growled, mewled, and hissed. The he hiked his tail in the air, and departed. I do believe he is jealous of Ferris!
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184 Joules July 25, 2011 at 10:56 pm

A martini. Shit, girl you make me smile.
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185 Corinne July 25, 2011 at 11:02 pm

In addition to the Magnum P.I. mustache mentioned above, I do believe Ferris may need a pair of yellow shortie shorts with white trim.

Fucking hilarious comments, too.
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186 Andrea July 25, 2011 at 11:28 pm

I could never figure out how cats eat and drink with the cone on them, it looks impossible. I love the captions.

187 neers July 25, 2011 at 11:48 pm

what if the cats revolt?? like kittenoshevik revolution!!

just sayin…
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188 JelloM July 25, 2011 at 11:55 pm

That is one pissed off kitty.

189 Dawn July 26, 2011 at 12:14 am

KITTEH HAS AN OUTRAGE.

Next time one of mine has to wear the collar, the ping pong balls are comin’ OUT.

190 Crystal July 26, 2011 at 1:07 am

you do realize he’s gonna barf in all your shoes as soon as that cone of shame comes off, right? he’s looking at the camera like he already chosen the first pair to hurl in…

191 StephanieC @ Seriously?? Really? Seriously? July 26, 2011 at 1:08 am

Ferris’ thought bubbles are priceless.

Bust out the Bloggies or boogers, or some such award. Love it!
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192 Cora July 26, 2011 at 1:32 am

You made my day! Thanks for making me pee my pants.
And my cats would like to meet your cats (although one of my cats thinks he is a bird and has been trying to hatch a stone for days… don’t ask)

193 Susan July 26, 2011 at 1:39 am

Snigger.

194 DebbieJo July 26, 2011 at 3:31 am

Please forgive me for posting one of your pictures but the mustache picture is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in ages. I will credit you.

195 Nicole @ myIdeaLife July 26, 2011 at 4:14 am

Ok so you may just be turning me into a cat person *Arrrrgggggghhhhh* and by cat person I mean a person that likes cats not a michelle pfeiffer in black lycra type person (I wish)

Nicole x
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196 Sandra (a.k.a. Sandrandan) July 26, 2011 at 4:52 am

Wow. Thank you for starting my day with a laugh!

197 Barbara July 26, 2011 at 5:47 am

Aww the poor thing. I can’t help but laugh. Those lampshade things look so ridiculous!

198 allconsuming July 26, 2011 at 6:05 am

There needs to be a website purely of animals with cone collars on STAT.

Get onto that will you?
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199 Trish July 26, 2011 at 6:10 am

Laughing out loud all the way to the ladies …poor Ferris and the cone of silence.
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200 The Six-Fingered Monkey July 26, 2011 at 6:22 am

Brilliant!
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201 moooooog35 July 26, 2011 at 6:43 am

That happened to me once when I got over-aggressive with a martini.
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202 Karen July 26, 2011 at 7:59 am

OMG! I got to the last photo and nearly spit my coffee out on the computer! You are hilarious and so is Ferris Mueller!

203 Angie Uncovered July 26, 2011 at 7:59 am

Priceless! Love the pics!
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204 Carmen July 26, 2011 at 8:00 am

Poor emasculated Cone head <3

205 leah g July 26, 2011 at 8:00 am

I love when they get stuck and all confused because their head fits but the cones doesn’t. and I mean love in a totally evil I laugh at my cats sort of way…

206 Mandy July 26, 2011 at 8:04 am

Poor kitty! I laughed my entire way through the post. Those were some of the best picture captions ever. The last one, with the mustache, oh my. That had me rolling.
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207 Lori Beth July 26, 2011 at 8:22 am

can’t. stop. laughing.

208 Smedette July 26, 2011 at 8:26 am

Awesome.
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209 Karohemd July 26, 2011 at 8:27 am

Not the Cone of Shame!

210 Mary Layton July 26, 2011 at 8:31 am

“Captain Hastings – zher is a traitor in our midst! Quickly, mon amie! Bring me zhe shoes so that I might poo in zhem!”

211 Sarah @ TM2TS July 26, 2011 at 8:47 am

Found this via Wil Wheaton, and I chuckled the whole time! :D
Poor kitty, but that ‘stache just MAKES the pictures!
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212 JoanieO July 26, 2011 at 8:51 am

You made my day!! LMAO. I wish I would have thought of it when my cat was in the collar. Ping Pong balls..sheer genius

213 JoanieO July 26, 2011 at 8:52 am

You made may day. Sheer genius…ping pong balls…I wish I had thought of it when my cat was in her collar! LOL

214 Lisa July 26, 2011 at 8:57 am

Actually awesome. I’m just waiting to see exactly how he repays everyone when he gets the martini head off.
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215 Craig Grella July 26, 2011 at 9:02 am

In twenty years, you are so going to be on that TLC show where they pull people, barley alive, from a house of 100 cats.
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216 HarryMonmouth July 26, 2011 at 9:02 am

Poor guy. If he ever gets a phantom itch then he is doomed.

217 Kendahl July 26, 2011 at 9:03 am

OMG he looks SO PISSED. That’s incredible. When my cat came home after his big sex-altering surgery, I was excited for the cone but he didn’t have to have one because they didn’t stitch him up, they used some sort of magic or something. It was a little disheartening. He did, however, come home totally fucked up on pain meds and it was sad and hilarious at the same time to try to watch him walk around.
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218 Debra D. July 26, 2011 at 9:03 am

Okay, the moustache is awesome! You are brillant, I SO want your brain when you’re done with it!

219 Katie July 26, 2011 at 9:06 am

Oooooh he is SO pissed at you in that third picture! Evil Eye? Nailed it!
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220 Gayle Keen July 26, 2011 at 9:26 am

Love your blogs. This one is so clever and I adore all the pictures and their captions.
One thing tho…..”Poor Kitty” !!!!

221 Emily Suess July 26, 2011 at 9:28 am

Bwahahahahahahaaahahaha!
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222 Joe July 26, 2011 at 9:39 am

LOVE the mouse-stash….. I mean mustache….. poor kitty
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223 Danielle July 26, 2011 at 9:57 am

It is absolutely necessary for you to post pictures of the Cats at least once a month. I demand it. And I’m pretty sure your boss, you know the one who works at City Hall, demands it.
Cat lady or not (I am), this is funny and adorable shit.

Thank God cats already look sarcastic…. It makes it that much easier for us to say “catty” things for them… Oh God, I need to stop. I am starting to annoy myself.

xo

224 knitwhimsies July 26, 2011 at 9:59 am

LMAO doesn’t quite cover it!

btw- you’ve been linked to by Wil fucking Wheaton.

225 Maura/@CountessMo July 26, 2011 at 10:20 am

Poor Ferris, bringing cone-sexy back all on his own.

226 Eryn July 26, 2011 at 10:34 am

Dude, my dog totally pissed on me while I was napping once. THANKS for bring back that memory!
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227 Amethyst July 26, 2011 at 11:11 am

That’s awesome. What program did you use to edit the balloons in? I’m trying to learn how to do that in PhotoShop now.

(I use Picnic.com. I highly recommend. ~ Jenny)
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228 ErikaRobin July 26, 2011 at 11:16 am

Where can I mail these ping-pong balls?

229 Kelly G. July 26, 2011 at 11:17 am

I love the metamorphosis from Ferris Mewler to Inigo Montoya in the last picture. Go ahead, say it: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You stole my balls and claws. Prepare to die (of laughter because I look like the Ace to this cat’s Gary: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g067Fgd7sN0.

Also, please refer to any episode of Saturday Night Live from 1996 to refresh your memory about the origins of Ace and Gary.
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230 Jen July 26, 2011 at 11:19 am

Thank you! My abs just got a massive workout from laughing so hard.

231 Buck July 26, 2011 at 11:22 am

I would not worry about any cat revenge. I don’t think he has the balls for it.

232 Jen July 26, 2011 at 11:34 am

CONE OF SHAME!!!
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233 LindaSalem July 26, 2011 at 11:42 am

I laughed sooooo hard when I saw these pictures. My two favorites are the one where he’s absolutely telling you with his eyes how much he really hates you and the one with the mustach. I may print those out and hang them over my computer for when I get bummed out.

234 Kim July 26, 2011 at 11:47 am

Did you know that Wil Wheaton posted a link to this post on Google+ this morning?

235 Kim July 26, 2011 at 11:48 am

Oh, and I forgot to add the he introduces the post with the following sentence: If you like things that are awesome, you should totally read The Bloggess, by the way.

236 The Maven July 26, 2011 at 12:08 pm

tears.

you also owe me a new keyboard.

237 april July 26, 2011 at 12:15 pm

Thanks so much for that laugh. The martini comment caused Sierra Mist to go through my nose –and it was still worth it! Also. Is Ferris a Hemingway cat? He looks like he has thumbs. My Astrid has thumbs on her front paws. We figure one day she will use them to take over the world.

238 Franchesca July 26, 2011 at 12:38 pm

That is just hillarious! :)
I understand the declaw part for serous reasons (esp. medical ones). Not judging you at all love. You are a brave kitty cat friend. :)

239 Alanna July 26, 2011 at 12:45 pm

Wil Wheaton loves you, even when he’s not busy collating papers: https://plus.google.com/108176814619778619437/posts/28ErmdeDTS6

240 Sarah July 26, 2011 at 12:49 pm

I can’t tell you how much I love cat cones! He totally looks like a martini. “Did you get a haircut?” made me crack up. Cats don’t get haircuts! LOL!
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241 allpointswhole July 26, 2011 at 1:05 pm

your cat is adorable. and by cat, i mean the one in the picture.

ps I seriously love that last picture…total martini

242 Jenn July 26, 2011 at 1:09 pm

Would it be insulting if I said that this is my favorite post on your blog? LOL
I love making fun of my cats, so naturally, now I must figure out how to humiliate my cats as much as poor Ferris has been humiliated.
I hope he doesn’t read your blog. LOL!
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243 Bridget July 26, 2011 at 1:10 pm

How cute. You put a smile on my face! :-)

244 Karen July 26, 2011 at 1:26 pm

holy shit that is awesome
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245 the muskrat July 26, 2011 at 1:42 pm

What a pussy.
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246 Mommy Brain July 26, 2011 at 1:50 pm

OMG. I am laughing my ass off right now…. I could totally send you ping pong balls right now… if you wanted… but they probably won’t arrive before his collar comes off… It’s worth a shot though…
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247 KidLit July 26, 2011 at 1:51 pm

Wow. That Mewler Martini looks a bit stabby.
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248 Kernut the Blond July 26, 2011 at 2:01 pm

OMG! Those photos and captions are hilarious! You should submit them to LOL Cats at icanhascheezburger.com. That’s some funny stuff! Thanks for the laugh! Tell Ferris Mewler I’m sorry to laugh at his misery, but this is worthy of a card or t-shirt or something!
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249 wagthedad July 26, 2011 at 2:08 pm

Love the mustache. And I think you could totally sell those animal injury collars as some sort of crazy sex toy.
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250 SaraEllenAwesome July 26, 2011 at 2:11 pm

I CAN TOTALLY HEAR YOUR CATS SAYING THAT. EVEN THO I DON’T KNOW YOUR CATS PERSONALLY….I OWN A CAT, AND I CAN HEAR HIM SAYING THAT TO ANOTHER CAT… IF HE WAS EVER AROUND ANOTHER CAT TO SAY THINGS…. OK, SO I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE YOUR CATS SAYING THAT BECAUSE I CAN HEAR MY CAT SAYING THAT TO THE DOGS HE RUNS AROUND WITH…

BUT THEN CATS DONT ACTUALLY TALK… EH. YOU’RE CATS ROCK.

251 SaraEllenAwesome July 26, 2011 at 2:12 pm

I CAN TOTALLY HEAR YOUR CATS SAYING THAT. EVEN THO I DON’T KNOW YOUR CATS PERSONALLY….I OWN A CAT, AND I CAN HEAR HIM SAYING THAT TO ANOTHER CAT… IF HE WAS EVER AROUND ANOTHER CAT TO SAY THINGS…. OK, SO I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE YOUR CATS SAYING THAT BECAUSE I CAN HEAR MY CAT SAYING THAT TO THE DOGS HE RUNS AROUND WITH…

BUT THEN CATS DONT ACTUALLY TALK… EH. YOU’RE CATS ROCK.

ALSO, I THINK I POSTED THIS TWICE. BC I SUCK AT LIFE. THANKS.
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252 Sarah July 26, 2011 at 2:38 pm

You know, normally, I don’t like cats… so this really made my day! Thanks for the laugh! :)
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253 Mr Farty July 26, 2011 at 2:54 pm

Get Hailey to toss him cat treats while you film it. Win/win.
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254 Paige McGee July 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm

My goodness! I admire your skill will a dry erase marker!

255 Ypsi July 26, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Doing the wheezy laugh interspersed with snorts, tears running down my face, etc. O.M.G. Fucking Brilliant.

256 Craftwhack July 26, 2011 at 3:20 pm

Will he be getting his own sitcom soon?
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257 Old_Warhorse July 26, 2011 at 3:36 pm

Thank you so much for this! A friend Tweeted it & I’m sitting here in the vet’s office, waiting for an ultrasound to see what is wrong with my Rocky cat and desperately neede the laugh. I hope Ferris heals quickly so he can smack the other cats for their impudence. ;)

258 Auti-mom July 26, 2011 at 3:48 pm

I thought the picture of Beyonce at your front door, entitled “Knock knock, motherfucker” was hilarious but the first picture of cats and their comments just cracked me up! As a mom of twin boys with Autism, your blog is my escape, my breathing room, my “mine time”… So, THANK YOU!

259 Susan H. July 26, 2011 at 3:56 pm

I would so go to the store, buy ping-pong balls (which by the way, did you know have different ratings from, say, common to really good? and the prices rise by scale. I had no idea someone would spend around $10 for one ping-pong ball. When I was a teenager we used the ping pong table to make out on.) and throw them in his protective collar. We have five cats and my daughters will put them in the desk chairs and then spin them as fast as they can and then film them trying to walk on the floor. Is that considered animal abuse? Whatever it is, it’s pretty damn funny and the cats still seem to love us.

260 Susan H. July 26, 2011 at 4:19 pm

Oh and it can’t be any worse than cat yodeling, right?
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261 Bryn July 26, 2011 at 4:32 pm

We want to get one of those things for our dog, mainly for our own entertainment. And we have actually talked about how we would throw things into his little cone, because we know he loves us, and would totally forgive us later.
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262 Amy Lee July 26, 2011 at 5:49 pm

OMG I fucking love you so much. I want to leave my husband for you, but I know you don’t swing that way and you’re married….Thank you for making me laugh like I’ve never laughed before. Totally needed it!
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263 CAT July 26, 2011 at 5:52 pm

Oh especially lovin the mustache! And YES, he does look dressed up like a Martini. Great Blog – I just found you today! Thanks!
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264 Jennifer July 26, 2011 at 5:59 pm

I just started reading your blog, and in one day I have read your first 2 years worth of stuff. I absolutely ADORE you. I’ve tried blogging, but I’m just not really that good. The entire thing turns into this huge “poor me” page. In any case, I love how you’ve turned your mishaps into humor, and I think your blog is lovely.
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265 Bob July 26, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Cats were once worshipped as Gods by the ancient Egyptians. They have never forgotten it.

266 Wifeunit July 26, 2011 at 7:29 pm

Just found your blog, and OMG you are hilarious! I laughed all day thinking about Beyonce, the giant metal chicken; and the mustache on the cat cone, can’t believe my husband didn’t think of that one. Can’t wait to tell him. Also telling my friends about your blog. Brillantly hilarious!!!!

267 Laynie July 26, 2011 at 7:41 pm

Thank you for the best laugh of my night!!! Best wishes to Ferris Mewler!

268 bschooled July 26, 2011 at 7:46 pm

My cat was so pissed when he got the hard collar.

Mostly because I would throw his dry food to him from across the room.
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269 Gates July 26, 2011 at 8:03 pm

Jen, Do you have one of these cones in Victor’s size? Just, you know, in case.
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270 Fred Miller July 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm

I’m wondering whether you bathe your cat. Tessa thinks I should bathe President Gorbachev since she may have fleas. I don’t think it’s a good idea to shower with your cat. What’s your opinion?

(Unless they’re ill, I’m anti-cat-bath. I’m also anti-bleeding. Those things go together. ~ Jenny)
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271 Quiksilva July 26, 2011 at 9:38 pm

Is it just me or would Mr Mewler be suitable for an all feline version of Flash Gordon as Ming the Merciless…

The evil stare as well as his own wardrobe!

272 Simone July 26, 2011 at 11:24 pm

you know the official name for that contraption is the e-collar? you know why? it’s named after queen elizabeth’s “fashionable” collars. do you think she’d be insulted if she knew her fashions were now worn by busted up pets?
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273 Neil Tarr July 27, 2011 at 3:42 am

where in the hell can I get one of those without the vet bill??
Too dam funny!

274 Dave July 27, 2011 at 4:22 am

Ok, the waxed mustachios just totally slew me. Brilliant.

275 If I Were God... July 27, 2011 at 7:53 am

At first I thought you wrote …HE LOST HIS TESTICLES (FOR COMEDIC REASONS)…
which is actually pretty comedic after all
(though it depends on who’s holding the scizzors)
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276 wagthedad July 27, 2011 at 7:57 am

I’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but once you get one of your cats neutered/spayed, you have to do it to all of them. You know that, right? Because otherwise Ferris is going to turn into one serious prison bitch and get all fat and disgusting on you.

Just sayin’.

277 Ron July 27, 2011 at 8:38 am

This cat cannot enjoy his cat’s life because he is wearing something that hold him from being with the other cats. I’m a pet lover and I don’t think that this is a good idea of treating your pet like this. I will never be cruel to animals.
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278 TPPCtv July 27, 2011 at 8:52 am

OMC-you are a cat whisperer, because the cats are TOTALLY saying what you wrote.
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279 Lex July 27, 2011 at 9:21 am

Wow, I’m surprised that they didn’t just send him home with some post sx “keep an eye on him” instructions before recommending some Bitter-Apple for any potential licking/scratching/biting: The Cone of Shame just seems so extreme! Funny (at his expense, of course!) but a little extreme.
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280 Jennifer Wells July 27, 2011 at 9:32 am

Oh my gosh, this is totally my cat today! She just had surgery yesterday and has to wear the cone of shame. It is pathetic and a little funny at the same time. One of my other cats is totally freaked out about it, like some kind of feline alien has landed in our living room. We come in peace… as long as you have catnip!
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281 Beth July 27, 2011 at 9:46 am

MUSTACHE! Sorry, sorry, but… the cuteness overwhelmed me for a moment there.
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282 Scott July 27, 2011 at 9:55 am

Showed my partner you’re blog today. We laughed for hours. Then he thought you might like this. http://www.imagepoop.com/image/1297/Look-At-My-Fuckin-Balls.html

It’s appropriate for this entry and not as nasty as the url is. Think you should share it with Ferris Mewler. :-)

283 Fashnlvr July 27, 2011 at 10:07 am

OMG!!!! This is SO damn hilarious!! I love it! the convo with the other kitties is to DIE! I read this at work and had to clamp my hand over my mouth to hold back wild raucous laughter! I LOVE the mustache too! HA!!

284 Janice July 27, 2011 at 12:05 pm

That is too funny. Being a cat owner makes it all that much funnier. I can totally see my cat having the same reactions.

285 Patricia July 27, 2011 at 12:25 pm

It’s Bond, James Bond 003 1/2. Love the tash

286 The Dalai Mama July 27, 2011 at 12:26 pm

All I can think about right now is a cat martini–and I don’t even like martinis.
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287 Dawn July 27, 2011 at 12:55 pm

Judging by that third pic,You know Ferris is totally going to smother you while you sleep, right?

I needed a laugh today, our farmette is currently hosting a predator conference (This weeks lesson, rats scream when you try to kill them for eating all your chicks. Who knew? )

I also miss my Kitty. The raccoons tried to dig him up and they shit on his grave. I left them a present…

I’ve been looking for replacement Kitties, but my husband for some reason thinks we should just go get a “free” kitten instead of a nice shelter cat.

288 Becky July 27, 2011 at 1:23 pm

More cat pictures. Please!
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289 Sandra July 27, 2011 at 3:58 pm

OMG, you are so funny. the cats are so beautiful.

290 Susan July 27, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Don’t look now Jenny, but I think your lamp is running away.

291 Cindy July 27, 2011 at 4:44 pm

Needed this today. Thanks! Is it hard being so funny all the time? :)

292 jenn~the stylish housewife July 27, 2011 at 4:56 pm

ping pong balls ::dead:: ;)
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293 Wodke Hawkinson July 27, 2011 at 6:30 pm

Absolutely love it!

294 Kitty kitty bang bang July 27, 2011 at 7:30 pm

OMG. Please photo shop clear liquid and two green olives.

295 Randa July 27, 2011 at 8:05 pm

I didn’t go through all the comments, but I wanted to say that your picture is now making the rounds on tumblr. I think Ferris Mewler is going to be tumblr famous one day…
I went through the notes to see if anyone gave you credit and only one other person in over 500 did.
That’s kinda typical for tumblr tho. Sad but typical.
I haven’t commented in FOREVER!
I had to repost the picture so at least one other person gave you credit with a link to this post.
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296 Maggie July 27, 2011 at 8:50 pm

Best wishes for a speedy recovery to Mr. Mewller… I love that he has such a potty mouth.
Thanks for this… I laughed out loud but then could only share with the more mature members of my family… don’t want my younger kids picking up any “hurting words” from Ferris.
maggie
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297 G9 July 27, 2011 at 11:14 pm

hilarious, but you guys are obsessed with porn; it’s Mr Pringle’s moustache

298 Jennifer July 28, 2011 at 4:51 am

Oh my gosh! SOOOOO funny! Poor Ferris, but Karma’s a bitch. I wonder if it’s called katma in felinese?
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299 Nikki July 28, 2011 at 5:16 am

He goes by the name of Ferris Moustache Mewler. Love this. I always do cat voices and conversations. Makes me feel less crazy that I’m not the only one. Don’t worry, I’m not a crazy cat lady. Merely a comedic genius.
Ps. How can you not love cats???!

300 Jamie July 28, 2011 at 10:28 am

So I’m sitting here crying from laughing so damn hard and my co-workers are staring at me. Thank you for making people think I’m crazy because I just die laughing at random.

301 Bambi C July 28, 2011 at 10:56 am

I think one of these pics of his face needs to say “You won’t be laughing when you check your shoes, Bitch!”
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302 Leila July 28, 2011 at 12:16 pm

totally not related to this but i am about, i think, to bring you a new reader. friend of mine posted on FB that she thinks she’s in love with Beyonce. So of course I had to ask whether she meant the singer or the chicken. she has no idea what the fuck i’m talking about. she will soon…LOL
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303 Cecilia @ Parenting Controversy July 28, 2011 at 7:05 pm

The captions on pics 1 and 2 make them so hilarious! Thanks for the effing good laugh.

304 Chriseee July 28, 2011 at 8:22 pm

I’m having surgery on my neck tomorrow and I realize everyone is going to mock me with my collar like you are smocking your poor cat. Except mine will give off electric pulses too. So I’m going to be Ferris Mewler in an electric fence. THANKS FOR FREAKING ME OUT MORE!

305 Michelle Crist July 28, 2011 at 8:48 pm

OMG sitting here in my hotel room hysterical.

306 Sandi July 28, 2011 at 10:01 pm

These pictures are hysterical!!! Thanks for sharing.

307 jj July 29, 2011 at 12:25 am

Why do you torture your cat?……… (wait for it……)…………because you can!

308 Laura B July 29, 2011 at 8:17 am

Oh my f’ing Gawd!!!! I laughed so hard!!!!!! The last one just pushed me over the edge, my dogs looked at me and left the room and the cat went under the bed!

309 Karen Lupton July 29, 2011 at 8:48 am

Martini homecoming costume FTW!
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310 Jessica @ Baybaybites July 29, 2011 at 11:24 am

Oh my gosh, I just found your blog and it’s hilarious! I love this post. I wish I would’ve done more creative things with my dog’s e-collar when she got her girl parts out.
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311 sandra July 29, 2011 at 1:29 pm

Is this a “Meowtini” ?

312 Jennifer July 29, 2011 at 2:39 pm

Ferris Mewler with his ‘stache just popped up on my Tumblr dashboard! (Uncredited, unfortunately).

Nick Holmes declared the image an “opportunity not missed”.

313 Chele July 29, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Even with the collar, he is a beautiful cat. I love the balloon remarks. I need to do this with pics of my 4 felines.

314 Crucial D July 30, 2011 at 12:50 am

why did you have your cat declawed?

(He’s polydactyl and had extra deformed claws growing into his paw. It seemed painful so we removed the claws. ~ jenny)

315 Joy July 30, 2011 at 5:02 am

This is hilarious. Laughed til I cried. Thanks for the good times. Hope your cat is doing fine.

316 Katie July 30, 2011 at 8:03 am

OMG! I am totally making this a martini costume for my cat :) Love the mustache too!

317 Shannon July 30, 2011 at 11:22 am

LOL Hilarious! I have a Russian Blue with allergies who sometimes wears a cone…I *totally* identify with the third pic, and her striking green eyes make it even creepier! Love the caption too!
And Jenny, my friend has a polydactyl cat too…Aussie has six toes on her front paws. I don’t know if the claws caused any pain, but she doesn’t seem to have any problems at all.
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318 Suniverse July 30, 2011 at 5:55 pm

He looks like he’s already plotting his revenge. Which I know is what cats do pretty much anytime they’re awake, but still, he looks like he’s going to dream about it tonight, too.
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319 Serena July 30, 2011 at 6:02 pm

Hey Jenny!

I just wanted to tell you that you are one of the greatest people on earth! I share nearly all of your blogs on Facebook so that my friends can have wet spots of pee on their pants just like me! You are hilarious! Never stop!

320 Fred Miller July 30, 2011 at 9:20 pm

I’m working on a cat martini. Vodka, of course. And catnip. Served in a fish bowl.
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321 thunja July 31, 2011 at 2:21 am

that is the funniest shit that I have seen in a long while

322 Lauren July 31, 2011 at 10:38 am

I wish I could *Like* or *Love* your posts! Will your website let you create something like that?

323 Lisa August 1, 2011 at 11:03 am

Ohmigoodness, I darn near fell off my chair at that last pic… priceless!

324 Naked Girl in a Dress August 2, 2011 at 6:56 am

That was hilarious.
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325 Barb from Medicine Lodge, KS August 2, 2011 at 2:36 pm

You are an hilarious writer! So glad Janelle shared a link on Facebook about your blog!!

326 Jessica August 4, 2011 at 2:05 pm

Hilarious! I have to share this post with all my cat loving friends. I am a big cat lover of one special cat, though I never do post about him. Maybe now is the time, :-)

327 Donna August 4, 2011 at 8:30 pm

hiLARious! When we were kids we used to dress our cat up and pretend he was a student at school and we were the teachers & every time he complained he’d get his name on the chalk board. This is just as funny.

328 meg August 5, 2011 at 7:33 am

Absolutely, positively hysterical. Thank you for the much needed Friday morning belly laugh. :)

329 J August 5, 2011 at 9:50 am

Just wanted to share my 3 year old’s thoughts on your cat….first, “i want that cat.” Then, “that cat looks like a fattie” (her favorite word right now, we’re working on what it actually means…well sort of, it’s pretty entertaining to hear her call random things/people fatties). And lastly about the mustache, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

330 Jen August 6, 2011 at 7:40 am

Laughing.
Laughing.
Laughing.

Okay, calming down.

Now I can ask – what is that font that you used for the text bubbles in the pictures?

331 Ehron VonAllen August 7, 2011 at 4:33 pm

You are a comedic fucking genius. My stomach is literally hurting from this!!!

332 Lindsey (aka modchik) August 16, 2011 at 3:14 pm

I keep coming back to this because I love t (and YOU) so much. I think my cat secret calls me a bitch behind my back.
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333 Mark@Self Cleaning Litter Box Review August 28, 2011 at 6:46 am

I love pictures like these ! I could fill a whole photo album with funny photos of my three cats. Trouble is, I never think at the time. Anyway, thanks for brightening my day.

Hope Ferris Mewler has recovered by now.

334 Emily September 13, 2011 at 2:46 pm

So I was on reddit.com today and guess what I found? Ferris Mewler! I was like I know that cat; I have seen this picture! Obviously I read your blog too much…but anyways here is the link that I found:
http://i.imgur.com/7nuc1.jpg

335 Michele Hurst September 14, 2011 at 10:48 am

Omg! That is so fecking funny! I almost peed myself. :-)

336 Corinna October 31, 2011 at 1:20 pm

OMG I laughed so hard I cried reading the captions on the photos….literally!
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337 helen November 13, 2011 at 12:17 am

Mewler! Mewler! I love his name!! I hope he is getting even with his fellow kitties for his homecoming!! LOL!!

338 Allicat November 25, 2011 at 10:15 am

Had you lined the collar with aluminum foil, you could have used him as a satellite dish.

Just a thought.

339 Empty Sack January 25, 2012 at 3:02 am

@Lesley

I’m not surprised he KNOWS. I drive past the hospital where, after the accident, I had to have my testicles removed, and I can tell you it gives me the creeps. Bad memories.

Strangely, I didn’t get the same feeling when I bumped into the surgeon that actually removed my balls. Perhaps it was because it was at a bar and I was drunk and she was kinda unemotional about it. She probably didn’t even remember where exactly she had operated, and I wasn’t about to say “Hi, I’m the guy whose balls you cut off.”

Anyway, that’s it from this ball-less guy.

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