The most fascinating dinner party IN THE WORLD

Barbara Walters came out with her list of the ten most fascinating people of 2011 and I feel really bad for her because I assume that she wrote that list as a joke and then accidentally published it.  I don’t like to criticize, but if your list of the ten most fascinating people includes three Kardashians then you’re doing it wrong.

(The full list:  Simon Cowell, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Eric Stonestreet, Derek Jeter, Donald Trump, Katy Perry, Pippa Middleton and a shitload of Kardashians.)

I do adore two people on that list but even they can’t save this from being THE WORST DINNER PARTY EVER.  And that’s why I’ve decided to make my own list of the most fascinating people in 2011, or as I like to call it “Who I’d Invite to the Most Interesting Dinner Party Ever (but then  probably hide from in the bathroom because of my anxiety disorder.)”  

You’re invited.  Just take a look at who I’m starting the guest list out with and add anyone you’d like to bring to the party in the comment section.  Let’s get started:

Neil Gaiman

Amanda Palmer

Ray Bradbury

BigFoot

Eddie Izzard

D. B. Cooper

The Poe Toaster

Queen Elizabeth (but only if she’s drunk)

My little sister (but only if she isn’t drunk)

Zach Galifianakis

Teller

Alice Walker

Traci Lords

Alan Rickman

Wil Wheaton with a half-pony/half-monkey that he made himself

William Shatner handcuffed to Oliver the Chimpanzee

The girl from Doodling in Math Class

Victor (because he’s going to be pissed if I have a party at our house and don’t invite him)

Okay, your turn. What fascinating person would you bring to the party?

889 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Wow. Ray Bradbury? Excellent call. (I was about to say I hope you have air freshener on hand because I honestly thought he was no longer with us.)

    I would add your little sister but only if she is drunk, because, what are you trying to hide?

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  2. John Hodgman

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  3. That dude Anthony from Designing Women. I bet he has all KINDS of stories.

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  4. 4
    Hayley Broughton

    Jen Lancaster… between you two, I’ll be laughing so hard I’ll cry and pee my pants at the same time.

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  5. Nathan Fillion, but only if he brings twine. (or even yarn)

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  6. Morgan Freeman and Sean Connery are obvious choices.

    I’d go with Anthony Bourdain, though.

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  7. What?!?! Where is Nathan Fillion! Or is he perhaps wearing the naturally deceased wolf & serving us all?

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  8. David Tennant!

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  9. Pretty sure Tom Sizemore would of had a few stories to tell. But oh well – can I sit next to Eddie Izzard?

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  10. I would invite the entire cast of Community. But only if they stay in character the whole time.

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  11. I’d bring Felicia Day, but then the cops would show up because since I don’t really know her I’d have to bring her by nefarious means.

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  12. 12
    Joi_the_Artist

    I met Bradbury once. The dude can still hold an audience. He’s amazing.

    I’d invite Jessica Mills (of the Awkward Embraces webseries, which makes me laugh so hard that ‘m not allowed to drink anything while watching it).

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  13. 13
    luna lovegood

    don’t forget hailey!! she needs to come. and can Copernicus come too?

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  14. You picked most of my favorite people, I’m assuming that you’re already going to be there so I’d have to go with Anne Wheaton, because she cracks me up and Allie Brosh for the same reason.

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  15. All of the Golden Girls. And maybe Ryan Gosling for good measure.

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  16. I was going to remind you of Victor until the last bit. The Bloggess leaves no one behind. I’m assuming you are invited as well?

    If not, now you are.

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  17. I would invite Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a Half, in hopes that she would write an awesome illustrated blog post about it.

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  18. Holy hell, David & Amy Sedaris. And ideally, all their family (I would recommend that you hold the party in a closed class room with many, many cameras running)

    Oh, also Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry & Douglas Adams (extra points if you can get Adams)

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  19. Respectfully, I’d add Alan Moore to that list. And also Bruce Campbell. For they are also gods.

    Bradbury? Great choice, lady. I’d listen to him all damn night.

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  20. One rather wonders which of the two you adore. Also what it takes to sneak in to your party instead of hers.

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  21. David Hewlett. That really smart annoying guy from Stargate Atlantis. <3 him so hard.

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  22. Scrooge McDuck. Is this 2010 or 2011? I thought it was 2011, but I’m starting to question that.

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  23. Haha, William Shatner brought a date. ;p

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  24. Tim Tebow to bring that spiritual vibe. Plus I think he’d get along with big foot.

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  25. Tina Fey, because I have a girl crush on her.

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  26. Wil Wheaton should be higher on that list just for the dungeons and dragon factor, and he DID coolate papers just for you.

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  27. Alice Cooper but only if he brings his snake too – I like snakes, they are all snakey and cool!

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  28. If we don’t mind the dead, Pierre Eliot Trudeau would kick all their asses. Bring along Margaret & The Stones for a dust-up

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  29. But seriously u need a side of Jonathan Schwartzman & Ted Danson to go with ur Zach

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  30. 30
    Emily Anarchy

    Pauley Perrette, who is fascinating, knowledgeable on a range of topics, ferocious in her opinions, and might need introducing to different foods than chicken sandwiches.

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  31. Stephen King. I really would love to hear stories from both him and Gaiman. I wouldn’t sleep after that. Ever Again, but it would be worth it….

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  32. Oh, you did the 2010 thing again! Consistency is important.

    Eddie Izzard would be on my list for sure. And I’d have Mimi Smartypants and you. Patrick Stewart. Brad Bell. I’m sure I’ll think of more…

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  33. I would definitely bring Richard branson, only so I could butter him up and get a free space ride

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  34. Anderson Cooper. In which case NOT my husband. Unless AC really is gay (as everyone who knows my love of Anderson Cooper keeps insisting), in which case my husband can come, since there will be no smooching and/or innapropriate under-the-table games. But then I want to invite Al Gore too. Since all we’re going to be doing is talking. And this way I can ask him about how we can get together and invent another internet because frankly I’m getting a little tired of this one.
    I’d like to invite John Lennon too, but dead people tend to bring dinner parties down.

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  35. I’d invite all the actors who’ve played The Doctor over the years. K9 can come too. Rose cannot.

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  36. I so want to be a part of this party. I would add Naomi Klein and George Takei.

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  37. Tim Gunn, but only if he gets completely shitfaced and turns into a total bitch.

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  38. Franz Kafka

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  39. Bill Watterson, Steve Martin, and my grandma. But only if she’s drunk.

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  40. I’d bring Amy Poehler and/or Tina Fey… Probably only one of them actually, so they’d feel more inclined to get all conversational with me rather than each other…

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  41. Jonathan Coulton. Because that’s probably who gave Wil Wheaton got the pony/monkey idea. Also he’s just a whiz with the music that I like to listen to.

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  42. Jamie Hyneman. (Do I get more than one? I am going to assume yes, because then I get to say more than one.)
    Also Allie, of Hyperbole and a Half.
    Randall Munroe of XKCD.
    Dame Judi Dench.

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  43. 43
    Muthursixty193

    The guy with the long flowing beard that plays air guitar in traffic (on Florida Avenue in Tampa). That dude seriously rocks!!

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  44. I’d like to bring the entire cast of Lost, please.

    And Samuel L Jackson, but only if he leaves the snakes on the plane.

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  45. I’ll be sandwiched in between John Waters and David Sedaris. Make that happen, yes please?

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  46. Mike Meyers playing the Deeter character.

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  47. I would like to have dinner with 10 Joel McHales.

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  48. I’m thinking Bill Bryson, Tina Fey, and Amy Poehler. And maybe then they’d all become my best friends?

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  49. Russell Brand (it’s only polite since he’s Mr . Katie Perry but a lot funnier) and Ricky Gervais.

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  50. The doctor, obviously.

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  51. I second the cry for Nathan Fillion!
    And Betty White.

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  52. Stephen King
    J.K. Rowling

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  53. ooo.. Alec AND Stephen Baldwin. And Hitchens to moderate (may he rest)

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  54. Kurt Sutter, just because I think it’d be hilarious to watch him and Queen Elizabeth have a conversation.

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  55. I’ll invite Neil Patrick Harris.

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  56. I would bring Betty White and Max Bemis. I wouldn’t mind Katy Perry being there, but she isn’t exactly fascinating. Just fun to look at.

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  57. Nathan Fillion and April Winchell (she runs Regretsy, for those playing the home game).

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  58. 58
    Shelly Buckingham

    What year is this party? Are we back in 2010 again?

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  59. You put him on the list. It’s not a party w/o E.I.

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  60. Um, I hate to mention it, but I think that tiny “what year is it?” confusion thing has happened again. . . . “that’s why I’ve decided to make my own list of the most fascinating people in 2010.”

    Or are you just so cool that you were being retro and I am too uncool to have gotten it?

    I wouldn’t invite any people. I find dogs more interesting. That could be why I have no friends.

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  61. Love that Amanda Palmer is there! Def Anthony bourdain. I’d also lie to invite Sean Penn, Stephen Colbert, and immortal technique!

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  62. I would SO love to be at that dinner party! Can I bring noted astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson? He’s both smart AND funny!

    Also, I will happily lend you some Xanax if it will help you from hiding in the bathroom.

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  63. Matthew Inman – The Oatmeal
    Think of the cartoons… Actually, he should do a whole series of cartoons on your dinner party vs Barbara Walters’ list.

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  64. I say invite Barbara Walters, but that broad has to sit in the corner and learn the meaning of the word interesting.

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  65. Copernicus the Homicidal Monkey. We’ll put him in charge of carving the turkey. I feel he would be good at that

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  66. Good list so far. I’d like to add Christopher Walken.

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  67. Love your list… and love that it’s for ” people of 2010″ ;)

    Leonard Nimoy… because he’s awesome.

    Dude, I’d totally invite every living actor who played the Doctor, then spend the night pretending I’m in some time paradox.

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  68. Ben Folds.

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  69. OMG YES to Takei. Takei & Rick Perry (why do I seem to just keep casting Thunderdome Dinner. ThundinnerDome)

    (ok, I’m off now to create a restaurant called ThunDinnerDome. “patent pending, patent pending, patent pending!”)

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  70. pee-wee herman

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  71. No Blessed Momma, YES! TINA FEY! She is my favorite woman ever!

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  72. DB Cooper is an amazing choice…(he’s the bank robber right? Not the guy from that one ice skating movie (frick, what’s that movie called? OH RIGHT, The Cutting Edge)? Actually, either one is ok.)

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  73. John Barrowman & Ewan Mcgregor. Because they’re both funny as hell, probably full of great stories & pretty to look at if they got tired of talking.

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  74. Please also have Wil Wheaton bring his wife Anne, because she is awesome. And then Nathan Fillion can be my date.

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  75. since you’re in the bathroom hiding I really think you might want to invite someone well versed in the janitorial arts.. maybe Neil Flynn (from Scrubs) although he might scare you out of the bathroom…

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  76. I have to agree with Kara about David and Amy Sedaris. I think the whole family might be a bit much though. Just sayin’! I also agree with you on Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. I would add Leonard Cohen.

    Ardee-ann

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  77. Yeah, when I saw the commercial for her special I laughed out loud. Yes, many of your picks would be awesome. I would bring/kidnap (xd) Bill Murray, James Franco, Bret Easton Ellis, Nicole Kidman, Jeff Goldblum, Doug Stanhope, Rob Huebel, Craig Bierko, John Cusack, Elizabeth Wurtzel, Fiona Apple, Steven Weber & Jenny Mollen. Plus some cool net people but it seems weird/creepy (coming from me) to list non-famous people. My anxiety would have me in a corner of the bar drinking Jack.

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  78. I totally second Tina Fey and Felicia Day. Also Nathan Fillion. I’d invite Anthony Bourdain as well. Maybe Joss Wheadon.

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  79. Vincent Price and Mr. Rogers.

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  80. I would have to ask Allen Funt.

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  81. Holy crap, I love you people. Also, I totally called it 2010 again. WTF, me? I’m stuck in 2010. I’m going to be fucked in a few weeks.

    Also, I did consider inviting Nathan Fillion, but I have a lot of twine in my house and it’s my understanding that he might have some sort of allergy.

    Also, Wil’s wife will be there riding the half-monkey/half-pony. Because she’s awesome like that.

    And I’d also invite the homeless guy on Main Street who gives fascinating sermons to invisible people. I didn’t put him on the list though because I didn’t want to scare off William Shatner. The man is just damn jumpy.

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  82. Yo Yo Ma and his new pal Wilbur the Wombat need to come to this shindig, too. But they can’t hog the bathroom the whole night.
    http://www.suntimes.com/9447566-417/yo-yo-ma-and-a-wombat-meet-on-a-bathroom-floor-seriously.html

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  83. Joss Whedon and Marian Call.

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  84. ThundinnerDome matchup #4

    Christine O’Donnell and .. ANNE RICE

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  85. Craig Ferguson and Josh Thompson …

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  86. I’d be totally rude and invite myself to your awesome dinner party, but to make up for my rudeness I’ll bring in Neil Patrick Harris, Aisha Tyler and the Penny Arcade crew.

    I’d also bring baked goods, because they are tasty.

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  87. Wait. Do they all have to be alive? Just in case, I will stick with people alive.

    Craig Ferguson, cause he’s funny AND he plays the harmonica.
    Margaret Atwood
    Stephen King
    Anne Rice
    My husband, whether drunk or sober, cause he can talk about anything and everything
    Cesar Milian, the dog whisperer
    Leonard Cohen
    Rutger Hauer
    Paula Deen cause I like to listen to her talk
    My son cause he’s very entertaining

    If they don’t have to be alive –
    Jesus, cause I think he’s more fun at a party than you would think
    Bette Davis
    Zelda Fitzgerald but not that drip of a husband of hers
    Mae West
    Czes?aw Mi?osz

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  88. Marian Call and Zoe Keating. Because Music.

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  89. How about Levar Burton?

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  90. 1)jesus 2) the bloggess 3) nene leakes 4) luke dittrich 5) denzel washington 6) kathy griffin 7) my mother 8) whoever it was that originally sang that hallelujah song 9) Ernest Hemingway 10) andy cohen

    and ME!

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  91. Wow, you’ve already got some of my favoritest peeps, but I’d have to add Tom Robbins and Douglas Addams. I would. And someone with beer.

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  92. Oh, and I would invite the Penny Arcade guys as I love that comic and them. They’re hilarious and I would talk with them for hours about the nerdiest stuff EVER.

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  93. Joss Whedon has to b fun. And Seth McFarlane seems like a hoot.

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  94. Honest to god, George Takei might attend. And I assume Neil Gaiman & Amanda Fucking Palmer would. AND Hodgman.

    You need to arrange this & sell seats at $500/plate for charity. Please? And $50/plate remote access for those of us who ain’t gonna get to Texas

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  95. Alice Cooper because that wild-assed crazy guy has always been better with makeup and snakes than I’ve ever been.

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  96. Joan Cusack, but only if she drinks beer and sings Fleetwood Mac songs.

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  97. If this is a Christmas party, I’d invite Bing Crosby cause you know he could be convinced to let out a few.

    And I love the Doodling in Math Class girl.

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  98. Kristen Chenoweth. She seems like she’d be a scream.

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  99. British comedian Bill Bailey, because he’s one of those rare people who is both nice and incredibly funny all at once. More commonly, funny people tend to be real assholes (present company excluded, obviously!), but Bill is someone I wouldn’t mind being stuck on an aeroplane with for an extended period of time.

    Which must mean something.

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  100. How about all of the lolcatz so Ferris Mewler has someone to eat with….as well as the guy wbehind the website. of course we can’t forget the mother fuckin Beyonce sitting in the center of the table.

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  101. Bruce Campbell
    Matt Bomer*
    Tim DeKay*
    Willie Garson
    Brian Williams
    Joel McHale

    *because I need my eye candy-and I’m sure they have interesting things to say.

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  102. How about Jose from Brandlinkcomm? But I’d put Vinnie Barbarino on one side and Screech on the other, then Queen E2 can sit across from him but only if she’s drunk.

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  103. 103
    Peter Stapleton

    Actor John Stapleton who is a highly functional ‘downs’ syndrome adult of 44 years. Works at SubWay and family man.

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  104. RON FUCKING SWANSON.

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  105. Ricky Gervais! Jon Stewart!

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  106. Kelly Oxford & Mika tan two reasons why Twitter is more addictive than heroin, not that I can quit either one.

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  107. 107
    asiansplenda

    Although others have already beat me to it, I was gonna say Nathan Fillion and NPH.

    And I’d add Chris Hardwick, Judd Apatow and Matt Nathanson.

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  108. Anthony Bourdain. Because I have interviewed him and he does have great stories.

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  109. Can I bring Jessica Lange’s character from American Horror Story? Because bitch be CRAY CRAY.

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  110. i’m gonna have to go with whiplash, the dog-riding monkey. after all, one can only spend so much time engaging in titillating conversation. and then, pretty much, you’re gonna need a dog-riding monkey to turn it up a notch, to a whole notha level.

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  111. 111
    Krista Davis

    DEFINITELY Kurt Sutter, because he can make the ‘C’ word sound like polite conversation. And can we have some good old fashioned eye candy? We’ve got intellectual eye candy, but it wouldn’t hurt to have some of the drooley variety, either.

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  112. David Suzuki. And I just finished tweeting about the Kardashians before coming over here. I cannot believe how rich those bitches are getting for doing absolutely nothing. Seriously, America.

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  113. Neil deGrasse Tyson and Stephen Fry.

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  114. Holy crap, in a few weeks?! I thought waiting for the weekend was bad…

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  115. um, no question. John Denver.

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  116. I am the most fascinating person I know. Really. God, I sound pretty full of myself…but I’m not. Really. I could have a party all by myself…adding in more people does make it better though. If I could bring a date and my super fascinating-also husband needed to stay home to watch the kids, I’d bring Morgan Freeman. Not because he turns me on, but because I think he’d be a lot of fun at a party. The Kardashians are so passé, not to mention totally boring.

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  117. I would invite:
    Sylvia Plath
    Anne Sexton
    Ernest Hemingway
    Frida Kahlo – unfortunately, these people are all dead so the conversation would be quite limiting.

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  118. What about James Garfield? Does he count? He could just chill out in a corner and people watch.

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  119. Beyonce, of course. Because that chicken deserves a spot at the head of the motherfucking table.

    Jen Lancaster.

    Me (cuz I’ve been told I’m a helluva cook and waaaaay funny.)

    And Justin Bieber, but only because it would give us a gazillion teenaged girls outside your house that we could shoot at. :)

    P.S. Anyone who thinks the Kardashians deserve anything beside a ninja kick to the throat is welcome to join the teenage Beiebers outside your house. :)

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  120. Ron Howard
    Christopher Hitchens

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  121. Casey Anthony…only because I still have so many questions. If we get her drunk she may spill the full truth. And to lighten the mood, Chelsea Handler

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  122. This will be an amazing dinner party, but figuring out seating will be a BITCH! I would add Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Elvis Costello, Jonatha Brooke and Jane Espenson.

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  123. I’d invite Chewbacca, because even though he doesn’t use words, he would be better to talk to than a Kardashisn!

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  124. Hmmm, such a good list thus far. but, even better: Allison Scagliotti and Chris Hardwick. I also wouldn’t mind Ian Somerhalder, but I would probably stare and be fascinated more than talk and be interested.

    Oh! Famous/fascinating D&D group must include: Wil Wheaton, Jim Butcher, Patton Oswalt, and, as above, Chris Hardwick.

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  125. Michael J. Fox
    Neil Patrick Harris (and his significant other, David Burtka of course)
    Ellen DeGeneres

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  126. Stephen Colbert, Hank Azaria, Harry Shearer, Jane Fonda, Betty White, Jane Curtin and Debra DiGiovanni (google her).

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  127. O.J. Simpson. Because I have always wanted to have a “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner?” moment.

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  128. Christopher Walkin for sure. Oh an Sean Connery just to hear him talk.

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  129. Have you heard of that New York play that’s in an apt building and everyone walks around with masks on and the play happens randomly in different rooms of the apt building. It’s supposed to be very Eyes Wide Shut. I’d invite all the weirdos in masks, cuz that would create an uncomfortable air that would be fun to watch. & since we’re all “weird movie characters are coming to this party”, let’s invite Tom Cruise too. So they have someone to talk to.

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  130. Or Joey Greico from Cheaters. (But only if he can announce everyone who arrives in that weird pausing inflection he does when he speaks on the show. “Welcome to a..titillating dinner party.”

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  131. Storm Large, because her vagina is “Eight Miles Wide”, and her heart is even bigger!

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  132. I’d bring Kurt Vonnegut. Except he’s dead now….

    …Question: Can we bring zombies?

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  133. So many “likes”!

    I would invite Adam Richman because he’s my pretend boyfriend, Jacques Cousteau because he’s always been my hero, and Phil Hartman the funniest man who ever lived. At least my pretend boyfriend would be alive.

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  134. Dr. Who definitely needs to be there. Especially since the drunk Queen Elizabeth and a chimp shackled William Shatner are invited. Clearly the chimp is going to be the incognito alien in this dinner party….

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  135. Carl Sagan
    Virginia Woolf
    and um, Dumbledore, obviously.

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  136. Jim Parsons and Craig Ferguson. In their Snuggie. With me in the middle.

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  137. J K Rowling, Jon Stewart, and Allie from Hyperbole and a Half. I second all of those! This dinner party is getting pretty big. Are you sure you can fit all of us in your house? You may need to expand to the backyard….

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  138. Emma Thompson and Jon Stewart!

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  139. Michael Schumacher. Steven Moffat. That man is a god, because he plays with your mind like it is his own personal sand box. And of course you have to have Nathan Fillion there. Get him drunk and get a pic of him with twine!

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  140. You already have Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton, so I’d have to go with…Margaret Atwood and Mat Johnson. Atwood for obvious reasons, and Johnson because he makes me laugh almost as much as you do. I think the two of you together would be lethal – and I’m okay with that.

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  141. Billy Connolly. No matter how good a party is, a hilarious Scotsman brings it up a notch, even if the next notch is “eleven”.

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  142. Oh, can I also add Mark Harmon? He just seems like such a nice guy and not bad to look at. And then I also have to second Pauley Paurette because she rocks all around. And I second the vote to invite Betty White.

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  143. I forgot Conan O’Brien! He has to be there.

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  144. 144
    Shadow Boxer

    Another ThunDinnerDome matchup: Anne Rice vs. Stephanie Meyer.

    CHIME on Betty White & Neil Patrick Harris. And the entire cast of Big Bang Theory. Because, hey, Wil Wheaton and LeVar Burton have already been invited.

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  145. I see Jon Stewart and Nathan Fillion have already been mentioned. Good. So I’ll two of my favorite, and living, playwrights: Tom Dudzick (Over the Tavern, Greetings, Hail Mary!) and James Sherman (Affluenza!, Jacob and Jack). I would also invite Scott Kurtz and Mark Waid, because what dinner party is complete without a discussion of digital rights and the comic medium? (http://www.newsarama.com/comics/sdcc-2011-waid-kurtz-digital-disruption-panel-110725.html)

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  146. I totally agree about the Queen. Normally, she’s a riot, but she was a totally snooze fest at my last party cuz she stuck with Ginger Ale.

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  147. Alan Rickman, just to hear him talk.

    Like

  148. Looking through that list, there seems to be a reasonably large Stephen Fry sized gap. Just don’t serve him any champagne.

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  149. We’ve named everyone else that’s important to me, so I’ll say as long as we’re bringing Chris Hardwick we gotta bring Jonah Ray and Matt Mirah. And Mike Phirman.

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  150. Francis Ford Coppola
    Martin Scorsese
    Errol Morris
    Keith Richards
    Meryl Streep–mainly to gaze in awe at her beauty although I’m sure she’s quite interesting
    Bob Dylan
    Patti Smith–to prove my theory that super cool people are boring
    Stephen Colbert
    Stephen Hawking–but only when he’s drunk

    I have a Twitter list called ‘fantasy dinner party.’ I put people on it who are fascinating. But also people who I want to see get into a fight. So like, the Pope and Richard Dawkins (well, not them exactly).

    Like

  151. Gareth Aveyard: I follow on Twitter and is too damn clever for words
    Ian Padgham: Has an incredibly twister, wicked sense of humor.

    If we’re adding dead people I’d like to meet Isaac Asimov and Oscar Wilde.

    Like

  152. I’m going to go with George Takei, just because of who is already attending. And maybe Chris D’Elia because he seems cool on twitter.

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  153. Ooooh I love this party so much, already!

    I’d like to add…can I just say The Dr Whos (Whos’s? Whoseses?) Anyway, them. With sonic screwdrivers and the Tardis.

    Perhaps we should invite Marvin the chronically depressed robot from the Hitch hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, seeing as Douglas Adams is invited, just so we could look at him and stop laughing long enough to taste some of Bourdain’s food.

    Love the Nathan Fillion invitation, but I’d like to add that he can only come if he brings Serenity; the spaceship. Drunk traveling through time and space. Gives a new interesting meaning to being spaced out, doesn’t it?

    This party will rock so hard, it won’t only be the coolest party of the year(2010 or any other), it’ll be the coolest party of all time!

    I’d like to bring a toast to the bestest hostess ever: “May you always be the light in the darkness that you are” *Cheers*

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  154. I would have to bring Lady Gaga. One of the coolest, nicest people I have ever met. Not to mention I could cross off drinks with Gaga from my bucket list. Also, probably Dorothy Parker.

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  155. You people have the best damn taste. Luckily we live in the country so I have few acres out back that this imaginary party can spill over into. Luckily the snakes and scorpions are all in hibernation. Avoid the foxes though. They’re easily spooked. Much like William Shatner.

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  156. Robert Krulwich and Jad Abumrad, and whomever they wanted to bring along.

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  157. Brad Pitt – So I could see him up close and decide if I really really would like to keep him in my fantasy of having his shoes under my bed. And obviously him in my bed.

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  158. 158
    Holly (a.k.a. adoreprince)

    I’m so there. I’m bringing Prince with me, ‘cuz he ROCKS, and since he’s gone all JW, he and Hitchens could be interesting together. I’m going to add Joss Whedon too. Wait, wait…I need to go check my People page on Pinterest to see who else.

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  159. Did anyone mention David Tennant? He definately should be there but I should have a bib or something cause there will be a lot of drooling….

    Like

  160. Misha Collins, I think he’d be quite funny and smart.
    I will bring bacon wrapped water chestnuts..it’s as Canadian as I get.

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  161. 161
    Technogeisha

    I’d love to be at your dinner party! Seems that most of the people I’d pick are mentioned in other comments already. Going to list anyway. Neil, Amanda, Teller and Eddie Izzard would definitely be on my list. Also, Kevin Smith, William Gibson, David Lynch, Carrie Fisher, Lewis Black and Jon Stewart.

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  162. No Nathan Fillion? Then you could have finally gotten your pic!!!

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  163. Patty and Edina from Absolutely Fabulous…..!!!!

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  164. 164
    Holly (a.k.a. adoreprince)

    One more…Lafayette from True Blood.

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  165. Jesus. I’ve got some questions.

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  166. Long time reader, first time commenter. You should turn this into a fundraiser. I would totally overpay for a dinner featuring will Wheaton , you, victor, and Neil Gaimon.

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  167. I would bring real Beyonce but only if you promised to sit her next to metal chicken Beyonce.

    Scrap that.

    I would want to be the awkward meat between the two Beyonces at your dinner table.

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  168. Diablo Cody

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  169. Lucy Lawless.

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  170. Uh Hello, Brian Blessed…the only human w/a flip top head-remember those “reach toothbrushes” adds? Well I would totally pay for his voice on my GPS!

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  171. So many good names have been taken, but my first thought was Tim Minchin. Google him or look on YouTube.
    If you like Jenny you’ll love Tim!

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  172. so, i have to say, your list is badass. and I completely agree with all the ones I know, especially Eddie Izzard. He’s the funniest person ever, especially one who’s covered in bees. And of course Queen Elizabeth, how would you not want someone with the wingspan of an albatros at your dinner party? (http://harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=300). Also, I have to thank you for introducing me to Doodling in Math Class, that was brilliant! Can I imaginarily attend your dinner party?

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  173. Big Foot and DB Cooper would be awesome!

    I’d pick George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Not very original, but very easy on the eye.

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  174. I’d bring Danielle from Danielle Ate the Sandwich (her latest video: http://youtu.be/jYj7_Wym6ZA)
    I may or may not have a huge crush on her, and she could play us some pretty music.

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  175. My list would just be weird: Kevin Durant, Neil deGrasse Tyson, and Craig Ferguson. Most awkward set of three ever possibly.

    Like

  176. I didn’t know you are into Amanda Palmer, but now I do I have to say I love you even more. Well not quite as much as I LOVE Amanda Palmer… This is fun – I think I’ll make my own list 1. Amanda Fucking Palmer 2. The Bloggess – as long as she brings Will Wheaton with his pony/monkey 3. …

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  177. I totally agree with bringing Eddie Izzard, he’s got great taste in his clothes, but I feel that Weird Al, Pauley Perrette, Jack Skellington (the actual character, not his voice actor), Robert Smith of The Cure, and finally Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders. I suppose if Dawn and Lenny Henry are still together then he can come as well.

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  178. Any party that includes Vi Hart and Bigfoot is bound to be off the awesomeness scale.

    I’d add:
    Jen Yates from Cakewrecks and Epbot
    Rachel Held Evans (A Year of Biblical Womanhood)
    Steven Levitt (Freakonomics)
    Andre Geim (physicist who makes frogs levitate and won an actual nobel prize playing around with pencil lead)

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  179. Jennifer Hale aka Commander Shepard from Mass Effect. <3

    But then I'd tried to get her to marry me and it might be awkward to everyone else. Sorry guys.

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  180. already many people I would have mentioned are on here. Terry Pratchett and Death from his books, I am sure Death would love to be invited to a party like this!

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  181. I would invite Dog the Bounty Hunter, Jack Nicholson, Cher, George Orwell, and Tupac.

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  182. Are we wearing Wolf Blitzers? Yes? This reflects greatly on my dinner party invitees…..

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  183. Anderson Cooper, George Carlins ghost and Sheldon from big bang theory :-)

    Like

  184. Lucinda Scala Quinn

    Rachel Ray

    Christine O’Donnell

    Chelsea Clinton

    Ina Garten

    Martha Stewart

    George Clooney

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  185. Aaron Rodgers (because DAMN is he hot and photobombs really well)
    My husband (because if I invited Aaron Rodgers but not him he’d murder me)
    Dakota Fanning because there is something oddly intriguing about that girl.
    Taylor Lautner (because there are a few innapropriate dreams I need to, er, take care of.)
    Patrick Stewart (added to your list, THAT would make for some interesting conversation)
    Gerard Butler (Yum)
    Bill Clinton

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  186. David Bowie – Always!

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  187. I would invite Neil Patrick Harris, Oscar Wilde, Rufus Wainwright, Mika, Anderson Cooper, Zero Mostel, and Julie Andrews.

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  188. Byron @169 – I think you should re-think not inviting Chris Sarandon (Jack Skellington’s voice actor) to the party. He is 1) unbelievably charming and 2) Prince Humperdink!

    I have a hard time narrowing my list down – I love so many of the folks already mentioned, but I’m highly inclined to have a number lot of horror film stars as well: namely Jeffrey Combs (swoon!), Robert Englund, Ken Foree. Also, Terry Pratchett, Vince Ventresca and Paul Ben-Victor (only if they both come to the party!), and Gene Wilder and Mel Brooks. Honestly, I could have a dozen ten-person dinner parties and still be forgetting awesome people.

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  189. Stephen Colbert. Then you can have your stare down & we could all put down our forks. & watch.

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  190. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries.

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  191. 191
    Zeke the wonder hamster

    Hunter S Thompson would add a little zing. Also Donald E Westlake.

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  192. Dude. DUDE. I love this game. I’m third … fo … fifteenthing David Tennant and… ACTUALLY, you know what? If dead people are allowed, so are fictional people, I say. So, lets add Ten, Shawn Spencer, and Dr. McKay, because the verbal sparring would be epic. Harry Dresden and the Winchesters, seated far, far apart. And The Pioneer Woman can cater the affair, even though she’s real. We don’t discriminate.

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  193. I’d bring Mr. Potato Head and Ryan Gossling so I can molest him all night. And Emma Stone because she is awesome sausage.

    On a separate note, remember that time you brushed your teeth with Japanese super glue? Well tonight I super glued my finger to my eyebrow and nearly super glued my eye shut. All in the name of being a hooker. Just thought you’d want to know. Or not.

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  194. Lucinda Scala Quinn
    Rachel Ray
    Christine O’Donnell
    Chelsea Clinton
    Ina Gartner
    Martha Stewart
    George Clooney

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  195. Emma Stone. That girl is funny, smart and beautiful. I’d date her if I didn’t like guys.
    Which reminds me that I’d also like to bring Ryan Gosling if we’re allowed to bring 2 guests. You didn’t really specify a quota…

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  196. 196
    Katrina Geswender

    Elvira and Lynda Carter. I almost explode at the thought.

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  197. I would insist that Neil Patrick Harris join us.

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  198. Just because I am socially awkward and I would possibly be the only hockey fan at this shindig, I would want to have Calgary Flames star Jarome Iginla there for me to talk to. While I am NOT a Flames fan, I’ve always thought he would be so much fun to go and have drinks with. But if he couldn’t make it, I know I could have a great time listening to most of the guests that others would bring.

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  199. Jimmy Fallon, and Stephen King

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  200. Oh, I like the thought of dropping Martha Stewart in the mix…

    Otherwise:
    Tim Minchin
    Nathan FIllion
    Will Wheaton
    Dave Hewlett and his sister Kate

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  201. The ghost of Amy Winehouse. Man, the tales she could tell from beyond the grave. Right?

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  202. this is easy.
    STEPHEN FRY! hell, I’d like to have dinner with JUST him
    I can ask my friend what neil and amanda are like over dinner if you like, He stayed with them at the Edinburgh Festival this year. Lucky bastard.

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  203. My list of ten:

    Elie Wiesel
    Billy Graham
    Steven Spielberg
    Tom Hanks
    Angela Merkel
    President Obama
    Michele Obama
    Ken Burns
    Denis Potvin
    Queen Elizabeth (prefer her sober)

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  204. Now THIS gal would be fascinating dinner company: http://youtu.be/B2DgfuIrtIY
    Sharing the joy of sign language and making sure we know the words we really need to know!

    But I would totally monopolize Eddie Izzard if I could come to your dinner, for fuck’s sake!

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  205. All these people over for dinner sounds fantastic!
    Can I have David Beckham for dessert?

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  206. I think everyone has already named people I’d invite. But I didn’t notice Penn on there. He’d have to come too! Then I’d just sit down, grab a bottle of beer and listen to the best conversations that I will ever hear in my life!

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  207. Neil Gaiman & Amanda Palmer apparently just had dinner with Tom Stoppard tonight, so I think they should bring him to your dinner party, because if they get to enjoy him, we should all get to enjoy him.

    Trying not to repeat but just to add, even though many suggestions were excellent & worth repeating.

    Lots of writers on my list. Sarah Vowell. Mark Dunn. Jane Espenson. Anne Tyler. Anna Quindlen. Bryan Fuller. William Goldman. Shane Black. David Milch. (I’ve seen the latter two speak together at a festival, and it was pretty priceless.)

    I’d kind of like to invite Katherine Heigl just to see how much trouble she could get herself into.

    From the beyond, I’d like to invite Mae West, Carl Sagan, and Dr. Seuss.

    John Fugelsang. Samuel L. Jackson. Ellen Barkin.

    And I am no Glee apologist, but on Twitter, I really enjoy Cory Monteith and I would like to dine with him, especially if he brought his cactus, Hank.

    Like

  208. Since you listed 17:

    Desmond Tutu
    Nelson Mandela
    Hillary Clinton
    Bill Clinton
    Doris Kearns Goodwin
    Aung San Suu Kyi
    Dr. Izzeldin Abuelaish

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  209. OMG how did I NOT know about the maths doodles!? Incredible!
    Can I come to your dinner party? I’ll bring dessert…

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  210. Laurence Fox, Alex O’Loughlin , Gordon Ramsay, Adam Levine, James Marsters, and Simon Baker

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  211. Johnny Carson, Bruce Springsteen, Sally Field, and Aaron Sorkin

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  212. This is a tough one. Jimmy Olsen?

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  213. George Clooney. One time I saw him and even though he was 50 feet away, he managed to be more interesting than the delicious meal and pleasant conversation I was having. I’m convinced he’s magic.

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  214. Oh no Jenny! You’ve fallen victim to one of the classic dinner party blunders by overloading your guest list with what Miss Manners dubs “Sparklies”. The ideal ratio is four A-listers to six B-listers (“solid citizens” who are interesting and engaging, but who will not outshine the sparklies) per soiree.

    Of course, a list with four celebrities and six of my personal friends does not make for very interesting reading, so…

    Dinner Party #1
    – Simon R. Green
    – Felicia Day
    – Erick Erickson of RedState.com
    – Jenny Lawson (The Bloggess!)

    Dinner Party #2
    – Neil Gaiman
    – Taylor Swift
    – Tim Tebow
    – Nathan Fillion

    Dinner Party #3
    – Camille Paglia
    – Hugh Laurie
    – Sen. Jim DeMint (R-SC)
    – Jim Bob & Michelle Duggar (I’ll cheat and count them as one)

    Hope you enjoyed my guest lists! And thanks for being so hilarious, even (or rather, especially) about the tough things in your life. It definitely makes it easier to do likewise and approach my own struggles (ADHD and at times cripplingly-low self-esteem) with humor and optimism.

    PS You are of course invited Parties #2 and #3 as well; I’ll just need advance notice so I can rework my seating charts! ;-)

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  215. i’d invite justin bieber and tell everyone else not to come or go to a different venue. or invite gangs from the hood to accompany him. (his christmas album ruins christmas)

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  216. Clive Anderson, Christopher Hitchens (RIP) and Peter Hitchens.

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  217. I’d bring Alex Filippenko. We could get him smashed and have him demonstrate planetary dynamics or something using various household objects.

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  218. Russell Brand. :)

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  219. I’m pretty sure everyone else has already mentioned all the truly fascinating people…so I will just bring myself and try to steal someone else’s date. And David Boreanaz, because he should clearly go everywhere I go.

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  220. Can I have alan rickman? Can I? Can I huh,uh?Can I? just want him to talk. “That is the second time you have spoken out of turn. Five more points from Gryffindor for being an insufferable know-it-all”. I promise not to spit my coffee when I laugh, nor to smile with my teeth completely covered in mashed potato. I also promise to bring Australian wine and chocolate. Oh oh oh and can we have David Thorne too??

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  221. It pleases me more than it should that DB Cooper is on your list.

    Most people have already said those I’d like there Pauley P, Mark Harmon, Misha Collins…I’d add Michael Weatherly because he’s so funny and him Pauley & Mark would be very amusing together. Also Vanessa Vangsness because she’s adorably sweet, geeky and funny (and good friends with Pauley). I would invite Thomas Gibson, but I’d be worried about his shoe/foot fetish ;) lol.

    If we can have fictional people I’d have to have Neal Caffrey, because the conversation between him and DB Cooper could be truly epic.

    Nate

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  222. I assume you ave invited the Mother-fucker Chicken? and of course as a table gift the Little Rooster

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  223. Yes, wondering whether you’re still mad at Nathan Fillion ;) Hey, no idea whether he’d be interesting, just really nice to look at.

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  224. 224
    justdreamin'

    the muppets…fer surely!

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  225. Since the famous person I’d invite died this year I’d invite my best friend. She’s interesting enough in herself and she’d be delighted to meet those people :D

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  226. I’d bring Charlie Sheen. WINNING!

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  227. Oh, I would have to add Alec Baldwin to the list and BOTH Clintons. (I just want to see them at the same table.) I would also add Annie Leibovitz. From the bucket list, I would take Anais Nin (had dinner with her years ago and she is definitely worth inviting!) and my late husband Ziggy (of Ziggy’s Joke o’the Day) because he was truly a great raconteur.

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  228. 228
    duchessofdevo@gmail.com

    I think we all follow the same Twitter feeds, This is awesome.

    I’d add Mary Roach (author of Stiff, Bonk, among others) – she’s now apparently into shrinking heads. And Emma Thompson.

    And thank you Jennifer, for the image listed somewhere above of Jim Parsons and Craig Ferguson in a Snuggie with you in the middle. Except now of course it’s me. :)

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  229. I think we all follow the same Twitter feeds, This is awesome.

    I’d add Mary Roach (author of Stiff, Bonk, among others) – she’s now apparently into shrinking heads. And Emma Thompson.

    And thank you Jennifer, for the image listed somewhere above of Jim Parsons and Craig Ferguson in a Snuggie with you in the middle. Except now of course it’s me. :)

    Like

  230. As so many other people have said, I’m going to start with Nathan Fillion. Get the dude shitfaced, then break out the twine! Then I’m going to have to add David Tennant, Catherine Tate, Dawn French, Neil Patrick Harris, Tina Fey, Misha Collins and John Barrowman. And possibly a doctor to deal with my inevitable inability to breathe from laughing…

    Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter. Because I’m pretty sure she’s batshit crazy in an awesome way.

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  231. I’d really need to wear my Depends to that dinner party because if Anthony Bourdain, Kristen Chenowith, and *sigh* Nathan Fillion all showed up, I’d pee my pants from laughter. 3 people slathered in Awesome Sauce.

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  232. You should definitely also invite Jonathan Goldsmith (aka The Most Interesting Man in the World). Don’t make him drink Dos Equis, though.

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  233. Oooh! A Party!

    I second Betty White, Stephen King, Bill Murray, Tina Fey, and I’ll add Adam Sandler and Johnny Depp as either Capt. Jack, the Mad Hatter, or the sultry gypsy in Chocolat. Yum. How ’bout Randy Newman tinkling the ivories for some dinner music? You know, for the feel good effect.

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  234. I’d invite Sting. A man who can write the names Nabokov and Mephistopheles into popular songs has to have one or two interesting things to say between the salad plate and the shrimp appetizer.

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  235. Will we have the MRI machine in place for this party? Cos it isn’t a party til you get your full body screening… amiright?

    I have to invite not just Nathan but the WHOLE cast of Firefly… Come on Jewel is a freakin dorable and Sean … Alan is hysterical. Pretty much anyone who’s worked on Doctor Who, especially John Barrowman and maybe his dogs cos they are SO kewt. But we’ll keep them away from Ferris Mewler. I feel like we need Brent Spiner. Author Katie MacAlister cos she’s damn funny.
    I can’t wait to see all these ppl at the imaginary Party :D How many bathrooms do you have? May want to rent some upscale portapotties…. half for actual use half for ppl with anxiety disorder to hide in….

    It’s called planning ahead, you’re welcome :)

    Like

  236. Joss Weadon
    Felicia Day
    Nathan Fillion
    Jonathan Frakes and his wife
    David Tennant (you always need a doctor at a party like this)
    Yeti to see if him and Bigfoot really are the same guy
    Morgan Freeman (to narrate the action)
    The Myth Buster’s cannonball
    Jeremy Clarkson

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  237. Dolly Parton!

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  238. James Patterson- BUT only if her brings THE Alex Cross and
    THE Michael Benett

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  239. ET (but only if he’s drunk)

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  240. George Stroumboulopoulos is someone i’d invite..you must have a Canuck on site and his interviews are the best. he knows Bill Shatner too, so he could ease the awkwardness.
    Lady GaGa would be on the list, and maybe if she wore her meat suit, we could BBQ! I’d let her know that T-bones would be the appropriate wear for this occasion.
    Finally, I would add Alec Baldwin so that your friend Will Wheaton could challenge him to Words with Friends, and maybe Will could get 72 points from the word CRIB and humiliate him and Alec would go all Sheldon on him.

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  241. David Tennant in character as the 10th doctor.

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  242. I’m sure it’s been saris in the previous eleventy billion comments but melissa mccarthy.

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  243. Let’s add Dr. Smith from Lost in Space and Dr. Ruth. But NOT Dr. Phil. He does not know when to be quiet. Dr. Seuss would be fun!

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  244. This is Barbarara’s list? Seriously? Has she been tested for dementia? Ugh.

    Maybe there’s just a dearth of “fascinating” people this year, although I do like some of the above suggestions. Or maybe she thought it meant “fatuous.”

    I am thinking that Helena Bonham Carter would be a really incredible party guest. Crazy/weird = fascinating, right?

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  245. Fiona Apple!

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  246. So, I would have to say, Norman Reedus, but he could be in character of Daryl Dixon (Walking Dead). No zombies though, because Zombies freak me out, then I’d have to borrow some of your xanax for you anxiety disorder and we could both just chill in your bathroom.

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  247. I would totally invite Chelsea Handler, she’s crazy and wild and would fit in fabulously!

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  248. The Stay Puff Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters. Or a really fat baby that resembles him. Or the Michelin Man. Scratch those, I want Slimer.

    Like

  249. Tesla – b/c he’d bring the light show and those dogs on youtube that totally party in their master’s swimming pool while their master’s are away. Now they know how to have a good time while the p’s are out and play dumb when the cops show up.

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  250. My boyfriend and I work on our amazing dinner party list all the time. I don’t remember them all, but here are some.

    Werner Herzog (small talk would be awesome)
    Jane Goodman (how amazing would she be?)
    Les Stroud from Survivor Man (because he could make a shelter for all of us out of the napkins)
    Tim Gunn

    Like

  251. Please, somebody before my brain explodes. I am a fairly (past 8 months or so) recent Bloggess apostle (Blogpostle?), and I have forever loved Jonathan Coulton and Skullcrusher Mountain with his pony/monkey monsters. In this post my two worlds have collided with Wil Wheaton in the middle. WTF? How is this happening? I fear my head will spontaneously combust! Somebody show me the series of unfortunate events that superglued all this marvelousness together!!

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  252. I would want to bring this guy from St. Cloud, MN. He dresses up like Superman and stands on the corner. Here’s a video if you don’t believe me….http://youtu.be/JPO9nAe7MYM

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  253. Wow, Teller with no Penn.
    I’m bringing any American Serviceman who has served in the Afghanistan Korengal “Valley of Death”. If you haven’t seen the movie Restrepo, it is intense.
    I’m also bringing Robin Williams, mainly because George Carlin’s ghost is still killing ’em in Vegas.
    Lastly, I’m bringing Salma Hayek… surely she can’t turn me down if it’s at the Bloggess mansion?
    My wife says I am also bringing her to chaperone my activities around Salma…

    WG

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  254. Oh and Dennis Miller, because between he and Robin Williams we could create a black hole of time…

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  255. Definately House. Every good party needs a doctor handy.

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  256. but only if he speaks british

    Like

  257. John Stewart! and Kristen Wiig and Wendy the Snapple Lady just because I want to see how she’s doing these days.

    Like

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  258. I’m really glad someone finally invited Tim Minchin in the comments. He’s on my list. How about Richard Dawkins. I don’t think anyone has said him yet. My list would include all the nerdy folks like Dawk, Drunk Stephen Hawking, Carl Sagan (cause he’d bring the weed and talk about the Pale Blue Dot), David Tennant, Tim Minchin, Wil Wheaton, Nathan Fillion, Neil Gaiman and Amanda Fucking Palmer, and Neil deGrasse Tyson. Also bonus guest: Brian Cox. Hottie and physics dude.

    Like

  259. I would invite Stephen Hawking and seat him directly across from Pat Robertson but make Pat Robertson speak through a voice box so it would sound like two robots fighting over theology.

    I’ll send out the invites.

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  260. Ha! Love that you would be hiding in the bathroom. I was thinking hide in the kitchen and eavesdrop. I’m having a bit of anxiety just trying to think of someone so I’ll pass.

    Like

  261. I’d invite The Simple Dude (you can find his blog at http://thesimpledude.com/) simply because his blogs always make me laugh.

    Like

  262. I’d definitely add Gary Busey!

    Like

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  263. You had me at Neil and Amanda. I think Kermit and Ms Piggy need to come, too!!

    Like

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  264. I agree with Cranky (possibly other… I admit it, I scrolled after a while!)
    Alan Rickman- I want to creepily sit at his feet and listen to him talk. The cardboard cut-out+cd player just isn’t as good as the real thing.
    And keeping in the theme Alan Davies. He is is hilarious, even whilst doing a live QI with a terrible flu.
    And also me. Not because I’d be a particularly good guest, but because would split my time between creepily sitting at Alan Rickmans feet and creepily smiling at The Bloggess. And the whole experience would be better than any mood stablizers I have come across.

    Like

  265. Along with some of your excellent choices (Bradbury, Teller, and that amazing girl from Doodling in Math Class) I would add:

    Steve Martin, who should have won an Oscar (or two) and could entertain with great humor and banjo playing.

    Steve Allen if we could bring him back to life for one more Meeting of Minds.

    And if we are bringing people back from the dead to attend, then Isaac Asimov for sure.

    @Nicole, I would invite Scrooge McDuck too, but if he can’t lift himself off the comic book page to attend, then at least include Don Rosa who added brilliantly to the life and times of that wealthy (in adventure) duck.

    Neil deGrasse Tyson, because we need someone to bring us up to speed on life, the universe, and everything.

    Jon Stewart, because he’s the only one that can make sense of our world.

    And finally, me, because I wouldn’t want to miss out on Jenny’s mind boggling wit, and because I have some paper I need Wil to collate.

    Like

  266. Christopher Moore!

    Like

  267. Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal. That woman was fucking fantastic!

    Like

  268. Neil deGrasse Tyson

    Like

  269. Jose, the VP guy who called you a “fucking bitch”, to prove to him that you ARE relevant. I mean, this is going to be an awesome dinner party!

    Like

  270. James Earl Jones so he can provide simultaneous narration of everything that is happening.

    Like

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  271. I don’t know if anyone thought of this or not, but I think you are one of the most fascinating people of 2011. I mean I know you are the host, but I would make sure you show up, and then I would invite Jose, and The Redneck Mommy because she also is awesome and Canadian, so hello, what’s not to love, and Ilana from Mommy Shorts bc she is pretty fucking cool plus would contribute huge ass cupcakes from NYC. And prior to the party I would wait until you are gone from your house and then break in with Nate Berkus (sorry if spelling error) to convert / decorate your house into one massive open concept bathroom so you could mingle and hopefully keep your anxiety at bay because -this is the genius part – you would know you were ALREADY in the bathroom! Yay! He would get to stay too, I like him. And I would also invite Kendra from Project Night Night to set up a donation bin for blankets, books and toys at your front door, then she can come mingle too as is super nice. And as stated in different context in a long ago post, I would invite my toddler, dressed in a chicken costume to wander around and randomly say “Knock knock …” ’cause the cool kids would get it …

    Like

  272. Adele…if not for good conversation ( i think she is way funny) then at least for background music…the girl has some serious pipes! Merry Christmas! Oh and how about Tina Fey…love her!

    Like

  273. I have a super-geeky crush on Vi Hart. That is all I wanted to say. I would totally come to the dinner part she’s at.

    Like

  274. Tina Fey, who is seriously cool.

    The Dali Lama – also cool

    If we were going for dead folks (you did put the Poe Toaster & Bigfoot), I’d put Oscar Wilde

    Like

  275. First of all although I usually love you and everything you write, now I’m upset because I feel like the “you’re invited” is not personal enough and I am waiting for a hand delivered invitation.

    Second of all, inviting the Kardashians to a dinner party is pure genius because they don’t eat a lot so there would be more food left over for me. In this economy, that’s just common sense.

    Like

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  276. David Tennant!

    Like

  277. Leslie, the transvestite homeless almost-mayor of Austin Texas. We’re so very proud of him/her. http://www.yelp.com/biz_photos/QUjhdw_a8z5OggXskJOPiA?select=npVaKVQ9VzspPa1NLNNu7A

    Like

  278. I’d bring Ellen Degeneres.
    Because seriously f*** the party if you’re not gonna be there.
    We can chill in the bathroom together and Ellen can scare the shit out of people wanting to pee and you and I can explain to her why Chambord snow cones are more aesthetically pleasing when served in the comfort of your own bathroom.

    Plus we can get all the dirt on the celebs from her show, you and I would possibly leave your bathroom with showbags and she’s a comedilesbienne. Fascinating.

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  279. I want to come to this dinner party!

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  280. Josh Groban – he’s wonderfully obscure and funny.

    Like

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  281. Is Simon Cowell even a thing anymore? What did he do in 2011?

    Anyway, I would bring Jamie Cullum, Jon Stewart, Josh Groban, Kermit the frog, Russell Brand, and maybe Jimmy Fallon, so he could see what real funny people look like. I’d also have to invite my boyfriend, and he’d probably want to invite Damon Lindelof. That’s all I can think of in the bleary-eyed hour before my last final exam.

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  282. How could you possibly forget Lisa Whelchel, you need at least one Fact of Life at the table.

    Like

  283. 283
    Sarahsayward

    Joss Whedon
    Stephen Moffat
    David Tennant
    Matt Smith <3

    Like

  284. 284
    potato queen

    LIVE FOLKS
    Cast of Big Bag Theory
    Cast of Chuck
    Maggie Smith
    Alan Rickman
    Dawn French
    Jorge Garcia
    Bob Newhart

    DEAD FOLKS
    Julia Child
    Andre the Giant
    John and Abigail Adams

    ALSO
    The Mighty Thor

    Like

  285. I TOTALLY second Misha Collins. He has to be there! Also Tom Bergeron. While I’m listing witty, clever as heck people I will add my friend Sarah who is the best person to sit next to at a dinner party.

    Like

  286. 1. Daniel Day Lewis (He can just read the phonebook)
    2. Woody Harrelson (Someone has to bring the weed)
    3. Paula Deen (Because mama is hungry)
    4. Puck from the Real World (Because we need entertainment)
    5. Gerard Butler (Because I need something to look at)
    6. Sheryl Crow (Because I need to throw my hubby a bone and don’t want to punch her)
    7. Zach Galifianakis (Because he is weird and funny)
    8. Michelle Duggar (Because she needs to have a drink and get high to deal with her loss/19 kids)
    9. Dave Matthews (Because we were all in college once)
    10. Chelsea Handler (Because I need someone to drink wine and make fun of Puck with)

    Like

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  287. I learned something reading this post! Didn’t know who some of those peope were – kudos, laughter and learning in the same blog!!! And it is way to early for me to be putting together a dinner party guest list… so I’ll just go with everyone else’s answers.

    Like

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  288. The Honey Badger – but becareful – he takes what he wants.

    Like

  289. 289
    monkeyboymama

    John Glenn. I think it would be cool to talk to an actual original astronaut, but not a space cadet like the Astronut stalker girl – Lisa whatever-her-last-name-was-that-wore-Depends.

    Like

  290. Joss Whedon, Alan Moore, Cecilia Tan, Stan Lee, Greta Christina. Oops, my geek is showing … Pretty amazing list though! I say Wil Wheaton has to bring the beer and wear his cape of dicks.

    Like

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  291. 291
    monkeyboymama

    Oh and Flat Stanley. Who could possible forget Flat Stanley.

    Like

  292. I’d bring Stephan Colbert so you can crush him at a staring contest.

    And thanks for the invite. I’ve been dying to “knock, knock” on your front door.

    Like

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  293. I most certainly hope that Beyonce will be in attendance. It’s just not a party without a big metal chicken.

    Like

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  294. Do they have to be famous? Your friend Laura Mayes should be invited – of course. Also Zooey Deschanel, because she is always being mistaken for Katy Perry, although she is prettier and more interesting. I see someone already put Jim Parsons down. I second that. Frankly I would personally not invite any politicians!

    And don’t forget Michio Kaku!

    Like

  295. Bob Dylan. You could turn a conversation with him into a drinking game. Every time you couldn’t understand a sentence – you have to drink.

    Like

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  296. Jimmy Fallon but only if he”s entirely responsible for the games portion of the evening. There will be a games portion, right?

    Like

  297. Your list is awesome. But it includes Bigfoot and Traci Lords. Soooo that created some mental images in my dirty mind that I will never be able to erase. Unless you are working on an invention for Handi Wipes for the brain. And if you are not, then don’t try to steal my idea. I’m on the mutha.

    Like

  298. 298
    Cheryl in Wisconsin

    Dave Grohl. And if we’re allowed posthumous invites I’d have to include Oscar Wilde.

    (In all seriousness, I cannot imagine any version of this universe in which any Kardashian is fascinating. Has someone felt Barbara’s forehead?)

    Like

  299. My 11 (in alphabetical order):
    Anthony Bourdain
    Mel Brooks
    Nadia G. (of the Bitchin’ Kitchen)
    Jane Goodall
    Kathy Griffin
    Tim Gunn
    Eddie Izzard
    Koko the Gorilla
    Kate Middleton
    RuPaul
    David Sedaris

    RIP Runners-Up:
    Lucille Ball
    Julia Child
    Leonardo DaVinci
    Gandhi
    George Harrison
    Jackie Kennedy
    Elvis Pressley
    RinTinTin
    Dr. Seuss
    Elizabeth Taylor
    Mark Twain

    And I have been known to spend entire parties in the bathroom, as well. With my best friend trying to calm me down, and a (for medicinal purposes, only) Black Russian in each hand. Just thinking about having to sit at a table with these people gives me a rash.

    Like

  300. I would definitely have to add Simon and Garfunkle. Put them in-between the comedians and authors and we’d get some wicked songs for after dinner entertainment! If only we could resurrect the Grimm brothers, those two combined with Simon and Garfunkle and the comedians and authors you already invited and that would be amazing, simply beyond beyond perfect.

    Like

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  301. All of the crazy bitches from American Horror Story!

    Like

  302. You. And then we could hide in separate bathrooms because of our anxiety disorders. Truth: I did this at my wedding.

    Jenna
    callherhappy.com

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  303. Adam and Jaime from the mythbusters! Making things explode all in the name of science makes for a great after coffee and dessert activity!

    Like

  304. Can I just say that I love you for the pure and simple fact that you have Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton on that list?

    Lady, you rock!

    Also, I’d like to add Jim Parsons and Brent Spiner!

    Like

  305. Patrick Stewart, Michael Hurst, and the Doctor… all of him (even Tom Baker because he’s my favorite, even though I hear he may be a bit snobby in person) because even if he’s not real? We all know he is…

    Like

  306. Oh, holy shit, these suggestions are good. Just scanning through I saw Joss Whedon (yes), Dave Grohl (hells yes) and John Hodgman. Also I think I’d do just about anything to get out of any dinner involving any Kardashians ever. How are they interesting? I don’t get it. Also is there anything truly interesting about Pippa besides her ass? I mean, she’s just a girl, right? Who’s sister married a prince? Maybe she’s super big in charities, Penny, jeez. Cut a girl some slack.

    OK, my list would include Phebe Taylor (who’s been dead 220 years, but that’s allowed, right?). She’s a woman who lived in my town who was married to a big Loyalist but whose brother was a General for Washington in the Revolution. And I’ve made up a whole life for her in my head. Actually, if she came and she was just boring or rude or snobby or something that might ruin it. So, scratch that.

    New person – fictional: Lord John Grey from the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon. Sexiest gay British Lord soldier you’ll ever meet. For reals. God, I love him.

    OK then! This was fun! Thanks! Oh and I need to read everyone’s suggestions much more thoroughly. Which might take all day! Yay!

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  307. *whose. Shit.

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  308. Also has anyone said Amy Sedaris? Cause you two would get along like gangbusters, I believe. Plus her plus one could be Stephen Colbert and I second someone’s earlier suggestion that you do the staring contest right then and there. That could be the game portion of the evening – sequential staring contests. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

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  309. Turtle Man and Troy Landry

    Like

  310. I would have to say tim minchin and James Earl Jones. Can we play pictionary at the end though?

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  311. The Kardashians. All of them. So you can be mean to them, and we can all laugh.

    Like

  312. I would bring Adam Richman, but I might end up having sex with him in your bathroom and he might eat everything there in one sitting, so that might not be a good idea. Instead I’d bring Dorothy Parker.

    Like

  313. You left Beyonce the chicken off your list? What the hell? And where’s copernicus?

    Personally I’d invite Matthew MacFadyen under the presence that he seems like he’s a funny guy behind all those serious, brooding roles, but really for the fact that I’d like to stare at him when he isn’t looking because he’s so hot.

    Like

  314. Gordon Ramsey to do the cooking, Charles Manson because I’m sure the conversation would be fascinating (as long as we keep him away from the cutlery) and the ‘Mayhem’ guy from the All-State ads to cradle me gently in his arms at the end of the night and make the crazy go away.

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  315. I’d bring John Scalzi and I wonder if your dinner party would include live music by Jonathan Coulton?

    Like

  316. Gerard Butler, and since he’s my “freebie”, I wouldn’t have to bring my husband!

    Like

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  317. I’m not sure exactly who I would invite, BUT Beyonce the Giant Metal Chicken would definitely emcee the event.

    Like

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  318. Love your list. I was going to invite Beyonce (the metal chicken version). After reading through some comments I see I’m not alone. I’d probably invite Orson Scott Card too, just because I love his books and he’s a pretty interesting individual.

    Like

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  319. Lady Gaga b/c I’m obsessed with her and thank you to the person that pointed out that it isn’t DB Cooper the actor, because I was totally thinking about The Cutting Edge.

    Like

  320. James Earl Jones and Faye Dunaway!

    Like

  321. –> Mike Rowe. I think he and I would be out back chugging beer and smoking cigarettes together.

    http://www.websavvymom.com

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  322. Perhaps you invite those Kardashian people, but put a laxative in their food.

    This *is* your chance.

    Like

  323. Can Beyonce have a seat next to Beyonce the giant chicken? For giggles, of course.

    Like

  324. I love your selection but I would add A. Lee Martinez and Ryan Gosling so I can droll all night.

    Like

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  325. John Waters. Iconic.

    Like

  326. My Dinner Party Dream Team:
    Lewis Black, Henry Rollins, Tim Burton, David Bowie

    Like

  327. YAY for Zack Galifianakis!! I would definitely have dinner with him…even if it meant having dinner with those 3 Kardashians…ugh.

    In related news: Barbara Walters has lost her damn mind.

    Like

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  328. David and Amy Sedaris……and a full package of Poise. I would have said Depends, but it’s really hard to discreetly pick a wedgie out of your ass with those bulky things on.

    Like

  329. George Takei… let’s be honest, his voice is enough to make him interesting. Add to the fact that he’ll probably insult Shatner all night and make things completely awkward would just add to the fun.

    Like

  330. OMG THE CUTTING EDGE. Totally forgot about that movie. Sadly, I’m a cheeseball and loved it. Toe pick!

    I totally want to invite Elton John to my dinner party. I also agree with the mayhem guy. “Recalculating!”

    Like

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  331. 332
    Kevin Childers

    Hillary Rodham Clinton – because she’s about the coolest woman on the planet and maybe the solar system depending on who is on the cloaked ship orbiting Mercury. I think maybe Michelle Obama unless they are likely to get into a cat fight in which case I still choose Hillary. And, btw, I used your picture of Will Wheaton collating paper in a webinar I did for my company which I tried to attribute to you, but my boss said I couldn’t :(

    Like

  332. 333
    Lindsay Barker

    Make sure you get Sue from Catering to do the, well, catering. http://www.tumblr.com/tagged/sue-from-catering?before=1320086129

    Like

  333. Have to have Shirley McLaine…and also Jennifer Saunders

    Like

  334. I’m bringing the orangutan, Clyde, from the Clint Eastwood film Every Which Way but Loose.

    Like

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  335. I truly can’t believe anyone finds ANY Kardashian interesting. The only one who ever really did anything of note is no longer on this planet.

    So annoying. I’m proud to say I have *NEVER* seen an episode of any Kardashian show. I cannot say the same about Deadliest Catch.

    I might be the worst female ever.

    Like

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  336. Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra

    Like

  337. Can we bring people that have passed? Because I’d so want to bring George Carlin. If not, how about Patrick Stewart? I’d love to hear him talk the whole night.
    I so agree with having Vihart on the list, and really most of the list. Sounds like an interesting night.

    Like

  338. You left out those people from Portlandia. Also, Nathan should NOT be invited until the twine pic surfaces.

    Like

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  339. You don’t want a formal dinner party, you want buffet finger food and then throw the party open to whoever wants to turn up – but only if they know the password “knock, knock motherf**ker”.

    Elon Musk – any one who successfully launches cheese into space – and returns it back down safely has to be better than that beardy salesman Branson (who isn’t even going into orbit).

    Like

  340. Also, I vote for Jim Parsons. BAZINGA.

    Like

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  341. I think we should invite:
    1. Harper Beckham. She’s way more relevant than her mommy, plus, I’m betting her super fine daddy will show for eye candy, I mean, to supervise the baby. Shirtless. Texas is really warm, right?
    2. Randall AND a honey badger.
    3. a zombie. They are so IN right now.
    4. My cat. She’s crushing on Ferris Mewler.

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  342. Stephen Fry.

    I mean, hello modern-day Oscar Wilde! No fabulous dinner party would be complete without Mr Fry.

    I’s also invite Michael Palin, ’cause I’d love to hear stories about his world travels and Python days. Who Wouldn’t?!

    Like

  343. Robert Downy Jr. b/c he’ll be on drugs, which makes for uninhibited dinner party conversation. but he may raid your wine-slushies, so beware.

    Like

  344. Amanda Palmer is already booked for my dinner party, I’m afraid. And I’m going to have to ask you to stop mentioning her because if other people figure out how cool she is, it’ll totally ruin it for me.
    I’d also invite Kimya Dawson, Rachel Maddow, author Tom Robbins, Mitch Hedberg if dead people are invited, and the entire Bluth family if fictional people are invited. James Franco can be our tuxedoed waiter.

    Like

  345. Rowan Atkinson, Nathan Lane, Steve Buscemi and Dawn French.

    Like

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  346. Okay, I can only think of one right now and that would be Louis CK. He’s hysterical!

    Like

  347. I am beyond impressed that you included Eddie Izzard. I was under the impression that I was the only Texan that was a huge fan of his.

    Like

  348. Why is Neil Patrick Harris not on this list????

    Tim Burton
    Helena Bonham Carter
    Daniel Quinn
    and Animal from the Muppets

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  349. Caitlin Moran – google her if you don’t know who she is, you will not regret it.

    Like

  350. What was Barbara Walters’ thinking? If you look at the list, you know what’s missing…I know so many things…but any woman over the age of 40. Forgive me for not including Kris Jenner in that list. She’s trying desperately to be one of her daughters. Yes, you guessed it, I’m woman of substance so I should know who should be on the list…I’ve been around. Here’s just a few: Madonna (as long as she doesn’t talk in her English accent), Helen Miren, Hilary Clinton, Bonnie Raitt, Dr. Michelle Bachelet (first woman president of Chile), Jane Fonda. Of course there would be men there, too, like Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling. Eye candy, my friends.

    Like

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  351. David. MUHFUGGIN. Thorne.
    Vincent. MUHFUGGIN. Price.
    Barbara Walters. (But only if she’s drunk.)
    Dolly Parton dressed up like a sexy porcupine. (Fantasy I can’t explain.)
    Pizza The Hut.

    Like

  352. Can I just say how much I love people that love Eddie Izzard? Seriously, a big scary guy could come to my door in the middle of the night covered in blood and tell me he needs a place to hide from the cops and if he could quote Eddie Izzard I’d let him in. I’d tell him to hide in the baby’s room, that’s how much I’d instinctively trust him.

    Like

  353. I’d totally have Neil Gaiman too! Also, I’d have Tim Burton so I could introduce the two and be responsible for the next epic movie deal in a generation. I’d also invite Jack White because he’s such a weirdo and I could make out with him in the pantry between courses. And lastly- I’d invite the Kardashian sisters so I could invite them out for an after dinner stroll in a deep dark forest and leave them there to fend for themselves (I’d probably tie cloth sacks over their heads and give them a few spins before fleeing the scene…)

    Like

  354. You’re already there wearing the wolf, right?

    Hmmm…

    Stephanie Miller, Rosie O’Donnell, Whoopi Goldberg, Christopher Walken, a good portion of your list, A bear, Stephen Colbert’s Ears…I guess he can come also but merely to tell him why he’s a thief, and Paula Deen.

    Like

  355. Batman. (D’uh)

    Like

  356. The conspiracy theorist at my office who is hoarding dry goods and ammunition because of the internment camps the government is secretly building.

    Like

  357. Brad Pitt. Hell, he doesn’t need to talk….just sit there and smile at me would be good enough.

    Like

  358. Also? I feel like this dinner part would also have to involve the screening of awful, B grade films, like, “The Cannibal Women of The Avocado Jungle of Death.” I own it. I can lend it to you.

    Like

  359. Yes! You could sell tickets. Of course then there would be a Beyonce expectation (the metal poultry variety). You think Teller would accidentally speak? Poor Barbara. Someone must have told her she is getting old and needs to connect with the little people by choosing people most likely to have a tattoo or most likely to have their image tattooed on someone’s ass.

    Like

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  360. 1. Morgan Freeman
    2. My piano teacher (honestly, he’s at least as interesting as anyone else mentioned here)
    3. Beyonce, so she can meet her namesake in person (er, in chicken?)
    4. Paul McCartney
    5. Billy Joel
    6. Queen Noor of Jordan
    7. Myself, but only if I’m drunk. Otherwise, I’d be hiding in the bathroom with you.

    Like

  361. David Thorne…hands down funniest dude on the planet. I’d even pay his airfare from Aussie Land.

    Like

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  362. Rob Lowe…naked

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  363. 364
    RockabillyBebe

    I think John Waters would be a waaaaay interesting dinner guest. I agree with everyone who said Tina Fey. Her and Sarah Silverman could just crack wise all night! That would be terrific! Oh…for my dream crushes….I’d invite Chris Isaak and Paul Rudd. I’d like to make a sammich with them! And while I’m thinking of musician types, if we can bring dead ones back to life…let’s bring Elvis to the party…or good Elvis impersonator, if the undead is not an option. And Michael Jackson. That would be one helluva party!

    Like

  364. Portlandia cast & crew!

    Like

  365. The Duchess of Alba – I just can’t stop staring at her.

    Like

  366. It’s funny, as much as I love all those people you listed, you would be the person I would most want to talk to.

    Yes, I would rather talk to you than Eddie Izzard. There, I said it.

    Like

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  367. CraigyFerg
    David Tennant
    Steven Martin
    Betty White

    AND

    THE STIG.

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  368. STEVE, not STEVEN. DYAC.

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    Sarah B. recently posted Reverb Days... Whatever.

  369. 370
    Helen Van Patterson Patton

    While meeting The Bloggess would be enough, this would be the most awesomest party ever! Kevin Smith says Never Meet Your Heroes, but I would SO bring him and his wife Jen Schwalbach to this party. Craftyb above said Tim Minchin, I would like to second that. May I add Kelly Carlin, daughter of George (and George too if we can bring him). Margaret Cho could hold court in a small corner. This would be the most awesomest party ever. May I request a stop at Sam’s or Costco for kleenex, because I think I would cry all night, sentimental and easily overwhelmed idiot that I am. I would trade the tear-stained face and red puffy eyes for a night like this happily.

    Like

  370. 372
    Amanda McMillen

    Maybe it is just me but I would love to include Augusten Burroughs! I have to admit I really like a lot of these other suggestions too though!

    Like

  371. I second Anthony Bourdain. And Betty White. OOH And Robin Williams. Best. Dinner Party. EVER.

    Like

  372. I have always wanted to have dinner with Philip Roth, Margaret Drabble and Margaret Atwood. Add in John Fugelsang, Randi Rhodes and the late Christopher Hitchens, and I can’t imagine a more interesting and lively evening. If I had to have any meals with Kardashians I would choose to go hungry. Very hungry, for a long time.

    Like

  373. I miswrote my own blog.

    Family ACTS of kindness.

    Stephen Colbert’s Ear might have a one up on me… :(

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  374. The person who left a tree and a coffin — the most beautiful tree and coffin you ever saw — in a library: https://www.npr.org/blogs/krulwich/2011/10/28/141795907/who-left-a-tree-then-a-coffin-in-the-library THAT person has a mind worthy of a whole dinner party of conversation all to her/himself.

    Like

    MommyTime recently posted Farm Children.

  375. Barbara Walter’s guest list sucks. Here’s a real party….with my mom cooking, please. And my brother and sister with wife and husband. And my cousin Robbie and his partner, Victor.

    Andrea Gay, another cousin, she’s brilliant
    Tina Fey
    You (and I’m totally not sucking up, I would love to meet you)
    Catwoman (Julie Newmar)
    Dianne Keaton
    The Obamas
    Ernest Hemingway
    John Stewart
    Keith Richards (for ambiance)
    Daniel Craig (for my dessert)

    Like

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  376. Alec Baldwin, so we could make snide comments back and forth and then make out at the end of the night. And he would finally maybe accept my WWF invitations. Yes. YESSSS.

    Like

    Lydia recently posted Notes From A Crazy Woman.

  377. Ray Winstone (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ray_Winstone)
    Jacques Pépin
    José Andrés
    Gwen Wright (http://www.gwendolynwrighthistory.com/)
    Madeleine Albright

    Like

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  378. Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
    Sarah Vowell
    Jon Stewart
    Nathan Fillion (I’d take that photo for you!)

    Like

  379. Grant Show – he was on Melrose Place. As long as Nathan Fillion is coming, too. I want to be sandwiched between them. I mean *sit. Ya.

    Like

    Kernut the Blond recently posted Travels with Checkers, the RV co-pilot who can’t read maps. Yet..

  380. 382
    The Original Lisa

    Drunk or not, at least I got invited. I have a feeling the non-drunk part is in there because I’ll be cooking? Well, I get to decide the menu then! We are having Frito pie and pigs in a blanket. Also, I’m bringing Patrick Warburton and Adam West, because I’ve always had the need to have The Tick and Batman in the same room together. I’m bringing Mandy Patinkin along, but not as a guest, so he can help serve. He can put the pigs in a blanket on the end of skewers and fling them onto plates while reciting, “My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die.” This will be awesome since a fair amount of your guests are already dead. Also, I’m bringing Cary Elwes as a bartender, so anything someone orders a drink, he can be all, “As you wish”. Best party ever.

    Like

  381. Christopher Moore and he needs to bring Roberto.

    Like

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  382. D. B. Rielly!

    Like

  383. Beyonce woudl be at the head of the table right? I mean just to keep order and knock knock on everyone

    and Jim Parsons, but only if he stays in his Sheldon Cooper character and sit him right next to Wil Wheaton.

    Like

  384. Weird Al. Because isn’t every dinner party better with Weird Al?
    The cast of Big Bang Theory, but only if they stay in character. (Which could definitely be awesome if Wil Wheaton is there!)
    Oprah, because I need some of her favorite things. But she can leave after that.

    Like

  385. 387
    Sarahplusone

    Jay-Z clearly must be invited as Beyonce’s plus one…

    My true wish is Diane Keaton. She’s gorgeous, hilarious, has a host of sparkling gossipy stories to share, and strikes me as the kind of woman who would think to bring you a glass of wine and a couple of canapes while you cower in the bathroom.

    Like

  386. YES! Eddie Izzard alone would make it the most interesting party IN THE WORLD, and YOU absolutely MUST be there ;) Otherwise, whats the point – you make us all laugh so hard we spit our coffee through our noses, LOL

    Like

  387. Warren Ellis & Joe Hill & Mat Johnson & Andrew Shaffer (Evil Wylie)- they put the *mac* in macabre

    Freestyle Love Supreme to give Amanda Fucking Palmer a 10 minute performance break

    Dan LeBatard & Charles Barkley, both in speedos

    Chris Hackett for the fireworks

    Nancy Upton and I will document the shit out of this party.

    I’ll bring the allergen-free munchies and porta-pots. We’re practically neighbors so feel free to use my cul-de-sac for extra parking.

    Now that I chew on it, we should do a round-robin party-a-month for the next couple years, just to make sure everyone has a chance to talk to everybody.

    Like

  388. “I don’t like to criticize, but if your list of the ten most fascinating people includes three Kardashians then you’re doing it wrong.”

    Best quote EVER.

    Like

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  389. I’m going to second the following:
    real (non-chicken) Beyonce
    Alan Rickman
    NPH
    Patrick Stewart

    And add:
    The cast of Criminal Minds, because I love the show and they seem like pretty cool people who would be totally into this party.

    PS. @198 – Jerome? Fellow Calgarian?

    Like

  390. The Burgermeister from those freaky stop-motion Christmas movies and the Hamburglar.

    In a fight TO THE DEATH!!!

    Also the whole cast of Big Bang Theory.

    Like

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  391. Dan Savage and his date…Rick Santorum (Google it)

    Like

  392. Not the mystery person who makes the library paper art? He/she could wear a mask. And also Banksy. Wearing a mask. HEY! Have a masked dinner party!

    Like

    Deborah Lipp recently posted Basket of News, Dec. 10-16, 2011.

  393. Carrie Fisher, so we could watch William Shatner whip her ass!

    Like

  394. 1. Evan Williams, 2. Rodney Strong, 3. Jose C, 4. Jack Daniels, and 5. that guy that drives the taxi. Of course, an random ex-boyfriend would be on speed dial as a back-up.

    Like

  395. Louis C.K. So he can make those awkward moments even more awkward, but hilarious.

    Like

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  396. @Lisa 382. Princess bride, best. movie. ever. I support your choices fully and wish I’d thought of them. Cary Elwes bartending with “as you wish”? Brilliant.

    Like

  397. I think I’d have to add Tim Curry and Terry Pratchett to the list, but you have everyone else I’d invite.

    Like

  398. I’d bring Wil Wheaton, Anne Wheaton, Nathan Fillion, Neil Patrick Harris, Jason Segal, um, I think that might be it.

    Like

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  399. Christopher Moore ( http://www.chrismoore.com/ ) Funniest author EVER!

    Like

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  400. Tom Selleck
    Mo Rocca
    Jim Parsons
    Tim Omundson
    Jane Lynch
    Parker Posie
    Ben Stiller
    Jon Stewart
    The Blogess

    Like

  401. 404
    Bama on the brain

    Ozzy Osbourne

    Like

  402. Ani Difranco. But then I wouldn’t be able to come, because you do not have enough bathrooms or anti-anxiety meds for me to handed her AND Amanda Palmer in the same space.

    Like

  403. I’d bring Carl Sagan and Shrodinger’s cat. : )

    Like

  404. Felicia Day, and David Tennent…. he will always be THEE doctor to me.

    Like

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  405. I want to sit on the other side of Eddie Izzard and Michael Symon because he cracks me up on his FB telling people off all the time.

    Like

  406. I’d add:

    Paul McCartney
    Ellen Degeneres
    Kevin Smith
    Chris Hardwick
    Felicia Day
    Mark “Turpster” Turbin (from podcasting fame)
    Stephen Fry
    Hugh Laurie
    Neil Patrick Harris
    John Cleese

    Just figuring out that list and then imagining this dinner party made me smile. :)

    Del

    Like

  407. John Grisham, Laurell K. Hamilton and Chef Michael Symon – and if i can just sit in a corner and watch that would be super fantastic too….

    Like

  408. In addition to your list, I’d like to have the doppelgängers of the following invitees: Eddie Izzard, Zach Galifianakis, Teller, William Shatner, and Traci Lords. They probably have lots of stories about how they’ve gotten VIP treatment because of whom they look like.

    Maybe some dude who grew a beard to resemble Wil Wheaton.

    And as a cherry on top, I’d like to meet the children of The Poe Toaster (if (s)he ever had any). It’ll mostly be depressing, but I think the emotional abyss that is their overbearing parent issues + alcohol would be a great set-up (n.b. hide your expensive decor). They probably work at Michael’s too because of their addiction to Highlights, so they’d have lots of great ideas on how to decorate on-the-cheap.

    Like

  409. How about Anne Taintor (http://annetaintor.com/ )? She’s got a great sense of humor and she appreciates the importance of cocktails!

    P.S. Can I hide in the bathroom with you? But we need to plant spy cameras out where the party is happening.

    Like

  410. My oldest daughter and I have been reading together and laughing, and agreeing on most of the attendees this morning. She’s 19 and away at college so she’s not at home much and we don’t get many of those moments-so thank you, love!

    Also, she suggested instead of Stephenie Meyer and Anne Rice at the Thundinnerdome we just let them bring their vampires instead. Because Anne Rice is probably too classy to bitch slap Stephenie, but Lestat would have no qualms about setting a sparkly vampire on fire.

    Like

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  411. Well, if we are allowing dead people, then Gene Rodenberry needs to be invited to keep Shatner and Takei on the straight and narrow. Plus, I think he was wicked smart. He thought up the iPad long before Jobs did.

    Like

  412. 416
    Joni Lightner

    Daniel Tosh, of course.

    Like

  413. Your list is quite fabulous already! Neil Gaiman, Amanda Palmer (who, by the way, sings my life’s soundtrack), Traci Lords! I <3 Traci! Eddie Izzard (in drag of course)! I think I would have to add Stephen Colbert, Stephen Fry (From QI ) and last but absolutely not least, my favorite astrophysicist, Neil DeGrasse Tyson because – all that brainpower- Whew! Gets me all worked up just thinking about it!

    Like

  414. Ugh, I can’t pick just one person, sorry! In no particular order:
    MC Escher
    Octavio Ocampo
    ee cummings
    Bette Midler
    They Might Be Giants
    (And maybe Mother Theresa, but only so I could point out your blog motto to her and snicker. And then do penance for it, for obvious reasons. I honestly think M.T. was pretty cool)

    Like

  415. Sam Elliot, cause I just love to listen to his voice
    Charlie Sheen cause you never know WTF will come outa his mouth. And, My Drunk Mother, for the same reason.

    Like

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  416. I would bring:
    Maynard from TOOL
    Trent Reznor from NIN
    Nathan Lane
    Kevin Spacey
    Michael C.Hall
    Dracula
    Lucille Ball

    Like

  417. I’m going to go with Emma Thompson. She always seems like she’d be really funny and all kinds of awesome in real life. :)

    Like

  418. Hugh Jackman, because he’s funny, he can sing, he’s a great entertainer and apparently he’s also very smart and a great conversationalist.

    But honestly, all of that is less important to me than the fact that he is smokin’ hot. And I just want to have dinner with him so I can look at him worshipfully for a few hours.

    Gerard Butler, for all the same reasons.
    Ditto for Mike Rowe.

    Like

  419. Iggy Pop and Judas Priest.

    Like

  420. Okay, I was going to say Zach too (yeah, we’re on a first name basis). Also, Chelsea Lately would be great. Wait, that’s not her name…Chelsea Handler. We need to have someone there that will get sloshed with us and talk a lot of shit. She’d be perfect. Is Colbert still on your shit list or can he come? We also need someone who is witty, sardonic, and completely “inappropriate” and “offensive.” How about Sarah Silverman? …someone who will get naked and/or act slutty? Any of the real world kids should do. …humor coupled with dance skills. Do you think Conan and Ellen are busy? Then at the end of the party, after a few, when I start feeling really intelligent, I would love to speak with Warren Buffett. Do you think he would have time to stop by? Oh, and the husband will probably want to tag along too. Anyway, I’m happy you’re hosting because my house is dirty.

    Like

  421. Steven Tyler… for obvious reasons ;)

    Like

  422. Ok most of mine have been picked but here is who i am sending invites to:
    NIkki Sixx
    Alan Rickman
    Gary Oldman
    Ricky Gervais
    Eddie Izzard
    Red Green
    Russel Brand
    THia party is fonna ROCK!

    Like

  423. Iggy Pop and Judas Priest

    Like

  424. Thanks for not inviting the K people. I feel like I should bring some famousish writer, but the person I really want to meet is Victor.

    Like

  425. I’d definitely add Seth Meyers, but he would have to be sitting at the SNL Weekend Update desk making fun of all the other guests there. I’d come, no matter what year the party is in, just sayin……

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  426. Bert Keeter, Eddie Izzard, Tim Gunn, Sean Connery, Sarah Palin, Andrew Biersack of Blackveil Brides, Seals and Crofts, Angie Harmon and last but not least the Bloggess.

    Like

  427. Well, DUH. I’d be bringing The Bloggess.

    Like

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  428. E.T
    Kim Jong Il
    The Capital One Vikings
    Grandma Mauzer (from the Stephanie Plum series)
    Steve Irwin
    Gonzo the Great
    Rolf the Dog (he could play the piano)

    Like

  429. I would love to have: Craig Ferguson, Stephen Fry, David Tennant, Jim Parsons, Gerald Butler, Michelle Obama, Maya Angelou, Eddie Izzard (love him), the Dalai Lama, and Sandra Bullock (fellow southerner, no pretenses).

    Like

    Graylin Fox recently posted My Inspiration’s.

  430. 434
    Mother Shutter

    Marcel the Shell. But only if he sits on Christopher Walken’s shoulder the entire time.

    Also, the Kardashians, but only if you put them at the little kids table with Zach Galafinakis. And make sure he doesn’t shower for at least a week. And the double rainbow all the way guy. Because I think he’d be fun to mess with. Ooooh, and put Marcel the Shell on HIS shoulder. After giving them both LSD.

    Like

  431. If you’re going to invite Neil and Amanda, you really ought to include Tori Amos, just to see the heat. As Amanda once said, “when tori amos comes, they’re going to lock us both in that piano, and ONLY ONE OF US IS GOING TO COME OUT ALIVE.” (http://blog.amandapalmer.net/post/89419440/meeting-tori-amos-sxsw-r-i-p-stan-the-unicorn)

    Wouldn’t THAT be a fun party entertainment?

    Like

  432. I’d go with Ryan Gosling. And Hugh Jackman.

    Except it would be more of an Orgy than a dinner party.

    Like

    Kris recently posted Party of Five..

  433. Maureen Johnson
    John & Hank Green (the vlogbrothers)

    When can we expect our invitations?

    Like

  434. Yours are much better. I hated Barb’s list. Trump, seriously? Pippa was #2. Don’t get me wrong, I love Pippa. Not as a fascinating person, though. More like the hot sister of a princess.

    Like

  435. Two words-Pete Wentz. Hubba Hubba!!

    Like

  436. Ahaha, I was picturing a toaster that left the bread with a portrait of Poe instead of Jesus as they usually seem to do. The real Poe Toaster is so much better!

    I honestly don’t get the fascination with Pippa M. I mean she seems perfectly nice but what has she done that is so intriguing or interesting? That is an honest, only slightly rhetorical question.

    Like

  437. I want to invite Christopher Moore and Maureen Johnson. Oh, and Ellen DeGeneres.

    Like

    Lilly recently posted It’s Almost Christmas (and today I am heartbroken ).

  438. Sweetie you had me at Eddie Izzard. We could compare shoes and makeup. I’d bring Dame Judie Dench, John Cleese or Frank Caliendo. Or Ron White.

    Like

  439. Since we’re clearly allowed to exhume, I’m starting off with Mitch Hedberg. Please seat me next to him as I’d like to trade sunglasses with him. Also, since I saw Teller listed above, I suggest we invite Penn so we don’t hurt his feelings. He can sit on the other side of me. Plus, those two released a book a while back that could make for some incredible fun at the party. http://www.amazon.com/Penn-Tellers-Play-Your-Food/dp/0679743111

    Oh, and can the entire cast of Arrested Development also be seated at my table? I love each and every one of them like family and want them within food-flinging distance.

    I’ll bring a Waldorf salad and that strawberry taco cake pie you’ve been craving. Is there a dress code?

    Like

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  440. The Maytag repair man, obviously. That poor bastard has no life.

    Like

  441. 445
    Edgar Allen Poe

    Definitely The Lock Ness monster..Big Foot and the Lock Ness might throw down for the best no-one-knows-if-they-really-exist best brawls of all time on VH1

    Like

  442. Probablly these kids:
    DeGrasse Tyson
    Jeb Corliss
    Bill Nye the science Guy
    Robin Williams
    Kevin Smith
    Leornard Nimoy
    Brian Greene

    Like

  443. i LOVE jesse tyler ferguson so he would absolutely need to be invited.

    Like

  444. Jesus definitely – you’d never have that “Oops we’re out of booze” moment.

    Like

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  445. Your list plus Amy Sedaris, Stephen Fry, and Oprah, but only because I want to see your other invited guests throws dinner rolls at her head when she starts to proselytize.

    Like

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  446. Apparently we are like two peas in a pod. Twice this week my co-worker has read a post of yours and exclaimed, “That’s you too, Inelegant_Life!” Because while our lists would be wildly different, this line is me to a T: “Who I’d Invite to the Most Interesting Dinner Party Ever (but then probably hide from in the bathroom because of my anxiety disorder.)” I would also be the one to put the wrong year on my ornaments, except I would have gotten all Martha-fucking-Stewart and HANDMADE a half dozen ornaments with the wrong year. Thanks for yet another fabulous post.

    Like

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  447. Joss Whedon. Definitely him. Although I’d probably then have a ginormo panic attack due to being in the same room as him and promptly pass out.

    Like

  448. Nathan Fillion and Eddie Izzard at the same dinner party would be awesome, but would it be too awesome? Would the universe implode if you had such a concentration of awesomeness at the same party? A black hole of coolness that obliterates all else in the universe? It would be scary, but so very cool at the same time that it might be worth the risk.

    Like

  449. Willie Nelson
    Tom Baker – the 4th Doctor
    Vincent Caso
    Jeff Lewis
    Sandeep Parikh
    Amy Okuda
    Robin Thorsen
    Felicia Day
    Sterling Malory Archer
    Lana Kane
    Malory Archer
    Cyril Figgis
    Cheryl Tunt
    Pam Poovey
    Pam Poovey
    Ray Gillette
    Woodhouse

    Like

    mousebert recently posted things worth believing in.

  450. Well I agree with @linzlovesyou that it would be nice to have Ryan Gosling there but I’d want him to come as his character in Lars and the Real Girl.

    Emily Mortimer from the same film and my girl crush.
    Robert Duvall
    Anyone named Hermione
    Barbara Kingsolver
    Christopher Guest
    Javier Bardem (if Ryan can’t make it)
    Nora Ephron
    Maybe Debbie Reynolds or Edie Gorme
    My son as an adult so he could tell me not to worry so much about his appalling lack of pre-algebra skills

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  451. I’d invite Nikola Tesla. :)

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  452. I think Robin Williams would be at my top also Tim Burton would be a good one too.

    Like

  453. Jason Bateman
    Diane Keaton
    Morgan Freeman
    MIke Rowe
    Viggo Mortensen

    And Caroline – Capital One Vikings FTW!!! Love it!

    Like

  454. Eddie Izzard is a genius selection!

    Like

  455. 459
    Stephenie Parras

    i would have to say john f kennedy and johnny depp.. oh and add nikola tesla… i saw him on modern marvels the other night and he was amaaaazing.

    Like

  456. 460
    Asha Sanaker

    Yay for all the folks that mentioned Tim Minchin. He should be playing in the background throughout the evening and anyone who doesn’t pilk at least once should be asked to leave. Also, since you are in Texas you must invite Willie Nelson. The stories he could tell would be amazing and I’m sure he’d bring treats to share, if you know what I mean, because I’m not sure he can help himself.

    Like

  457. I’m totally behind those who said Tim Minchin, Carey Elwes, Jim Parsons and John Cleese.
    To add to my list from 150 comments ago or so, I would also bring my boyfriend’s best friend Grant. Because he’s a scamp.

    Also, if we’re allowed to invite dead people, I’m going with Vincent Van Gogh. And a translator. Because I’m pretty sure Van Gogh and I don’t (didn’t? Wouldn’t? Wouldn’t.) speak the same language.

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  458. Oh…so many likes…

    Beyonce, Copernicus and Jen Lancaster.

    My friend Tracy

    Like

  459. Nancy W. Knappes. :(

    Like

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  460. I’d bring Mary Roach (great sense of humor and she’d have fabulous stories), Jessica and Heather from GoFugYourself, Neil Gaiman (of course), Jason Segel, and Melissa McCarthy.

    Like

  461. Captain Jack Sparrow, and not to be confused with Johnny Depp. Unless it’s Johnny Depp dressed as Jack Sparrow, then yes.

    So we’d need a ton of rum but half way through the party hide it all in my room so when he ask “where has all the rum gone?” I can say “Oh, let me show you!” and take him to my room and…yeah…lovely…

    Like

  462. Did anyone invite Storm Large? She would definitely be on my list… otherwise the list is looking fan-freaking-tastic.

    Like

  463. Stephen Fry, Hugh Laurie, Molly Lewis
    Jonathan Coulton, Paul & Storm, Adam Savage, Wil Wheaton, maybe Peter Segal
    China Meiville, Paolo Baglipaluchi, John Scalzi, Jay Lake
    Alyson Hannigan, Alicia Witt, Christina Hendricks, Jewel Staite (Okay, I admit this is just the smoking hot red head contingent for the party).
    Kevin Spacey, Clint Eastwood,
    Jenny

    Like

  464. The Muppets, John Waters, Martin Scorsese, Tina Fey, Alan Cumming, and The Bloggess, who can have her very own bathroom and be served her food there if she pleases.

    Like

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  465. That dude from the Key of Awesome and maybe some other YouTubers doing live Epic Rap Battles of History and parodies for entertainment. Caroline, you’re right on with the Capital One Vikings. And I agree with some others: Patrick Stewart, but only if he performs his one-man A Christmas Carol dressed as Jean-Luc Picard. Craig Ferguson. Stephen Colbert (and might as well have Jon Stewart tag along as the grumpy sidekick..hehe). DEFINITELY the chicken Beyonce (not the real one). And LZ Granderson.

    Like

  466. At the “dead” part of the table Peter Sellers, Jack Lemmon and Tony Randall and at the “live” end John Cleese, Rowen Adkins, and Wanda Sykes. (And Jesus; I totally agree that Jesus would be a lot of fun at a party. Plus, you’d never run out of wine!)

    Like

  467. Bon Jovi, the Barefoot Contessa and Ryan Gosseling (because we would beed eye candy)

    Like

  468. I’m glad Eddie Izzard is on your party list.

    I would add Patrick Stewart, Morgan Freeman, Mike Rowe, for their sweet, sweet voices, and Neil Patrick Harris, Simon Pegg, and Nick Frost. Oh, and Penn and Teller! Can we resurrect people, like Fred Astaire and Catherine Hepburn?

    Like

    Haley @ thedistractedblogger recently posted Liebster Award.

  469. I dunno… the kardashian’s are fascinating. In the sense that a train wreck is fascinating. Even if only in the sense of trying to figure out why they’re famous.

    Actually interesting-of-themselves for her annual interviews, I’d look at Michelle Pfeiffer and/or Diane Keaton, Roy Disney (Walt had beautiful dreams, but his brother Roy performed miracles to turn the crazy pipe dreams into a viable reality), James Michener, any well-spoken solider who’s had 4 or more tours in Iraq and Afghanistan, that soldier’s spouse/family, I’d second Mike Rowe (love him!), Elizabeth Dole, Stephen Colbert…

    Like

  470. I would love to have dinner with the now-defunct cast if “Whose Line is it anyway?” especially Wayne Brady. Oh, and Robin Williams. The episode where he joined the cast was so funny I couldnt breathe from laughing so hard.

    Like

  471. dan savage.

    Like

  472. Nobody here has probably ever heard of him, but I’d bring Tony Parsons, the British non-neo-advaita guy (NOT the British journalist of the same name), because he’d fuck with everyone’s minds (including mine) more than anyone else. I also understand that he really loves gourmet food, so it would be great to see what he’d say about the strawberry taco cake.

    And I second Craig Ferguson, but I want him to bring Geoff as his date.

    Jesus would be great too – I could ask him his opinion of the GOP candidates.

    Like

    Zippy recently posted Merry Christmas, Y'all.

  473. Ernie Cline, because he is so unabashedly geeky. And Wil Wheaton did the audio version of his new book. BTW – I just googled Wil Wheaton and “Wil Wheaton collating” came up in the top ten google suggestions – good job Jenny!

    Like

  474. Jimmy Fallon would be #1 to get on my list.

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  475. Ooo good question!! I would have to put a lot of thought into my list, but I’m sure it would include:
    Frank Sinatra
    John and Jackie Kennedy
    Liz Taylor
    Pippa Middleton
    Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
    Robin Williams

    Also, I agree that Barbara’s list is ridiculous. Not her best year by far!

    Like

  476. Ooo good question!! I would have to put a lot of thought into my list, but I’m sure it would include:
    Frank Sinatra
    John and Jackie Kennedy
    Liz Taylor
    Pippa Middleton
    Nicholas Sarkozy and Carla Bruni
    Robin Williams

    Also, I agree that Barbara’s list is ridiculous. Not her best year by far!

    Like

  477. I think Miriam Margolyes would be good value – she tells great fart jokes, and she could play off of Eddie Izzard as well as possibly draw Gaiman out of his shell once the wine kicks in.

    Include Emma Thompson because she’s witty, classy, yet funny in a down to earth way – and because you always need someone who can cuss in French at a dinner party; I believe Emma would excel at this.

    I think adding Noel Fielding is a given – he’s mellow yet so horribly eccentric Victor won’t know what to make of him…especially if Noel finds your tin foil in the kitchen…

    Like

  478. @Pha 446 – Bill Nye the science guy!

    Like

  479. I want to add myself so I can be there. Have fun in your wonderful mind!

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Orange You Glad.

  480. Well you’ve already got two of my top choices on there (Neil Gaiman and Eddie Izzard), so let’s see… I’d probably add Bruce Campbell, Stephen King and the cast of The Walking Dead!

    Like

  481. Allie Brosh from Hyperbole and a Half, and Anna Rondon from Red means go. And Joseph Gordon Levitt so I have something nice to look at.

    Like

    Rebekah Mae recently posted I really fucking hate Adele.

  482. Ficional: A shitload of people from the Mother/Earthbound series, Alice from Alice in Wonderland, Madotsuki from the game Yume Nikki, Emily Strange and some of the people from the storys that i write (At least, i HOPE their interesting…)

    Real: Terry Pratchett, You, Me (Hopefuly), My mom, Alot of the people i meet in the S.C.A., and my friend Skyler.

    Like

  483. I don’t think I’ll be inviting Amanda Palmer to any of my dinner parties, because she’s an misogynistic idiot, but I think I’ll invite the rest and especially you!

    If you’re not sure why Amanda Palmer is a rather toxic creature, googling “Amanda Palmer disabled feminist” is a good way to get started. Basically, for her “Evelyn Evelyn” act, she dressed up with Jason Webley as a conjoined twin and invented a bizarre backstory in which they pretended to be the illiterate victims of child pornography, rape and social avoidance problems who had been ‘discovered’ and ‘rescued’ by Amanda Palmer. At this point, a lot of feminists, disabled people and people with mental health issues said “Wait, what? Amanda Palmer, we thought you were cool! This isn’t a very funny joke, and it’s making us uncomfortable!”

    Amanda tweeted “setting aside 846 emails and removing the disabled feminists from her mental periphery, @amandapalmer sat down to plan her next record.” She also went on national tv and mocked “disabled feminists from the internet” who were trying to take down poor, beleagured Amanda Palmer.

    Thanks, Amanda, fuck you too.

    But the rest of the people on your list are rather magnificent.

    Like

  484. stephen fry!
    brilliant, articulate, has quirky mental issues of his own so he’d probably try to join you in your bathroom

    Like

    suburbngypsy recently posted tim tag mania #3.

  485. Jason Statham, for sure. Frankly, you had me at Eddie Izzard. Building a henge are we? What a fabulous idea!

    Like

  486. John and Hank Green!
    What should I wear?

    Like

  487. Can we invite the God Damn Batman?

    Like

  488. D.B. Cooper = Awesome!
    Bigfoot = Awesome!!

    So, not sure where to actually find who I want to attend, but I want a real, living & breathing, from out of this world (galaxy, universe) alien being that can somehow speak our language to attend. That should be doable I think, right?? :-D

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    Giggle, Laugh, Cry recently posted 2012 Challenge To Myself.

  489. My Uncle Serop, Ann Rice, Joe Manganiello, Nathan Fillion, Judy Blume, Carrie Fisher, George R. R. Martin, Queen Raina, Michelle Obama, Helen Thomas, J.K. Rowling and Jim Parsons.
    ***Since Wil Wheaton is already on the list I would make both Wil’s and Jim’s attendance contingent on them being in character as Evil Wil Wheaton and Sheldon Cooper for the entirety of the party.

    Like

  490. No one, no one can explain the history of the world quite like Eddie Izzard! What a talent! Put me next to him at the table!!

    Like

  491. Wolf Blitzer – the wolf skin (duh)
    Beyonce – the tin chicken
    Ferris Mewler.

    Think of the conversations!

    Like

  492. Augusten Burroughs.

    Cause he’d run with scissors.

    Like

    Not Supermom recently posted Not Your Typical Letter to Santa.

  493. Casey Anthony. Because every dinner party needs that ONE guest that everyone can gossip about. Then we can all get drunk and openly judge her together! Nothing like *drunkenjudging* bonding time to bring people together!

    Like

    Audra recently posted An open letter to my sisters ignorant “occupier” friend.

  494. In her defense, Amanda did address the controversy (http://blog.amandapalmer.net/post/396762227/evelyn-evelyn-drama-drama) but never quite apologized or acknowledged the fact that inventing this unnecessary and annoying backstory for marketing purposes was a bit of a… lowball.

    Like

  495. Since you picked Ray Bradbury, I get to pick William Shakespeare. And Groucho. And Mel Brooks. That’s all I really need. And Jenny Lawson, of course.

    Like

    Fred Miller recently posted A Puppy and a Gentleman.

  496. Jamie, the very worst missionary, who is my second favorite blogger after you! (and I’m not very churchy, but she’ awesome!)

    Like

  497. Graham Norton should really be on the list as well. And if we’re gonna invite Stephen Fry (earlier comment), shouldn’t we invite Hugh Laurie? But only if they come as Jeeves and Wooster….

    Like

  498. I did not think I could love you more. And then you invited Amanda Palmer to your imaginary dinner party. I am now obligated to have your children.

    Like

  499. People who are alive: George Takei, The Dalai Lama, Laurell K Hamilton, and George R.R, Martin. (The last one would be invited only so I could lock him in room with a typewriter ala Annie Wilkes until he finished the Fire and Ice series. If I have to wait nearly a decade for the next book….)

    People who are dead: John Lennon, Anne Boleyn, Jesus

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    sarina recently posted Drowning in lemonade.

  500. Can we invite Nathan Fillion?

    Like

  501. Kid Rock. Cousin Eddie. (to make the rest of the guests feel all klassy and shit.)
    Seth Meyers :D because he’s cute AND funny.
    Sandra Bullock, because she’s just so likeable.
    The Thirsty Traveller dude. He’d know the best drinks.

    Like

    Redneck Hillbillies recently posted CHA-CHING!.

  502. The Honey Badger (just let it run loose in the house) and Randall (to narrate what the honey badger does.) It would be a really badass party. Incase you missed the honey badger, here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4r7wHMg5Yjg

    Like

  503. Holy crap, I am so late to this party!!

    This list is almost too perfect to touch. Except for the possible addition of Cher.

    Like

    Vesta Vayne recently posted waa-waa – SHUT THE HELL UP!.

  504. For the dinner entertainment:

    The Honey Badger, who definitely knows what and what not to give a shit about, gets locked in a bathroom with Barbara Walters. Honey Badger can then enlighten Babs on what people give a shit about and can explain the difference between fascinating people and her list.

    Randall, of course, would provide commentary.

    Then Stephen King and whoever did those Twilight “books” so Stephen can explain what readers expect from writers.

    Again, commentary by Randall.

    After dinner, I would be happy to be at the feet of Patrick Stewart and Alan Rickman, listening to them talk while curled up with Mike Rowe.

    I’m going to go shower now.

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    Maureen recently posted The Twelve Days Of Christmas – Day 4.

  505. You totally need Ron Wnite there. I’d add Jon Bon Jovi to to rock out some Christmas songs and Josh Groban to round out the more traditional carols. Chrostopher Walken and a cow bell. George Clooney because not only is he good to look at but he’s quite the jokester. Betty White because throwing her in the mix is guaranteed laughs. And I’m thinking Charlie Sheen would make it interesting to say the least.

    Like

  506. Jonathan Coulton, and Paul & Storm, and Adam Savage, and Jamie Hyneman, and Wil Wheaton! And my awsome friends, Gene and Doug. You don’t know of them…but you should!

    Like

  507. I love your list. There are some really amazing suggestions above too (Mae West, David Bowie, the Sedaris sibblings, Pierre Elliot Trudeau, etc.).

    I would add Zadie Smith. She’s awesome and hilarious and I’m sure you would hit it off.

    Like

    Ele recently posted Cloud Classification - 1st edition linocut.

  508. I bet I’m the 500th person to say you are at the top of my list! But it would be such a cool party, we would invite Joss Whedon (interesting) , and Nathan Fillion (possibly sans a shirt) and JJ abrahms so we can ask him how someone who is so good at coming up with shows can suck so much at ending them (ahem alias ahem) and my little brother who once carried his life savings of $473 dollars around in a metal briefcase in stacks with $20’s on top, just for the fun. And Marie Curie, because you know, women in Science (awsesome) and Jostein Gaarder (author) And I think we can invite the Pioneer Woman But I will totally tell her it is a potluck. Oh and Probably The barefoot contessa for the same reason.

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  509. If we can include those living or dead, I would add Madeline Kahn (not alive) and Rowan Atkinson, Steven Fry, and Hugh Laurie (all very much alive and intelligent and funny and interesting!)

    Like

  510. 514
    Tammy Revere

    I would invite Jeff Dunham and all of his puppets….especially Peanut!

    Like

  511. I know Zach G. and can state unequivocally that he doesn’t talk to anyone. He’s one of those people who just stares at you until you walk away.

    Also, DB Cooper was just officially pronounced dead so he should sit next to Zach.

    Like

    Suzy recently posted L.A Sign Of The Times #94.

  512. 516
    Cactus Sally

    Banksy
    Lyle Lovette
    Willie Nelson
    Jill Psmith (aka Twisty Faster & her obstreperal lobe)

    Like

  513. OK – the conditions: First, this party would have to be at your house since although I also have a back yard more than an acre in size, it ends at a creek and I don’t want any drunks drowning in my back yard. Second, all the folks on the list would be invited to bring their spouse/significant other/main squeeze/date. So, just because Amanda Palmer isn’t on my list doesn’t mean she’s not invited to show up with Neil. Finally, because it’s at your house, you and Victor and Hailey and Ferris Mewler and anyone else you wanted would automatically be included.

    My Most Interesting Pary List:
    All 3 of my siblings (because they are awesome both sober and shit-faced)
    Neil Gaiman
    William Gibson
    Stephen King
    Wil Wheaton
    Josh Wheedon
    Peter Jackson
    Samuel L. Jackson
    Craig Ferguson
    Tina Fey
    Betty White
    Whoopi Goldberg
    Wanda Sykes
    George Takei
    Neil Patrick Harris
    Anthony Bourdain
    Hillary Clinton
    Willy Nelson
    Lady Gaga
    Dali Lama

    Like

    Jami recently posted Going for a record.

  514. Coincidentally, that’s also My Most Interesting ParTy List…

    Like

    Jami recently posted Going for a record.

  515. Because most other people I would choose have already been mentioned (Nathan Fillion, Hugh Laurie, etc.) I’ve decided that we should make sure we have a time machine handy so we can invite really cool now-dead people like Edgar Allen Poe, Hitchcock, and Tolkien.

    Oh, we should invite Peter S. Beagle too!

    Like

  516. Terry Pratchett, of course. I adore both him and Neil Gaiman, and to have both of them in the same room would leave me tongue-tied to the extreme. Except that I would have so many questions that I wouldn’t be able to stay silent. Oh well, heart palpitations are good for you, right?

    Like

  517. danah boyd – she makes me think deep stuff and stuff.

    BTW: I’m a little creeped out that you know I watched the D.B. Cooper episode of Numb3rs last night on Netflix streaming…

    Like

  518. Due to my panic crap, I’d be hiding in the bathroom with you, but I’d be torn between inviting:
    A. 9 people from different countries who each speak a different language and 1 drunk translator with severe Tourettes.

    B. Leonardo Da Vinci, David Lynch, Tim Curry, Colin Firth (dressed as Mr. Darcy, of course), Andy Samburg, The crazy scientist Dad from Fringe, Chesire Cat, Sophia Patrillo (from Golden Girls), Archie from All in the Family and Buck from U.S of Tara :D

    Like

  519. 523
    Zeke the wonder hamster

    Alan Rickman is a great suggestion, but then I’d also like to suggest Charles Dance. If those two ganged up on him they could _totally_ take James Bond. And possibly Batman.

    Like

  520. Nathan Fillion and Stephen Colbert. Duh.

    Like

    Denise recently posted A Holiday Song From Me To You.

  521. I don’t want to ruin your dinner party list or bad-mouth people who aren’t around to defend themselves, but I invited Bigfoot to dinner once and he was an enormous jackass. He didn’t bring anything and he ate our cat. Vegetarian my ass.

    Like

  522. Jameson. The whiskey, not the person (is there a person? i’m so naming my future son that.) Social functions give me hives.

    Like

    Roo recently posted Time to forgive.

  523. The Dos Equis dude. Only he’d have to be in Dos Equis guy mode because he’s probably boring as shit in real life.

    Like

  524. Well, 2010 OR 2011, it’d have to be Charlie Sheen, drunk or sober as the day is long. Because tiger blood would make a GREAT hostess gift at a dinner party and anytime there’s a lull in conversation, he’d say something no one could understand. Instant conversation starter: “What the hell did Charlie just say?” “Something about mudbloods?” “No, something about tiger blood again.” “Oooh, he said there’d fudge for dessert!”

    Like

  525. Robert Rodriguez, Bill Hicks, Maya Angelou, Salma Hayek, Jeff Dunham’s Walter but not Jeff Dunham, Marsha Brady, David Thorne, Kevin Smith, Betty White, Adelle, and Newt Gingrich, but not as a dinner guest – as the pinata. What is a dinner party without a fucking pinata?

    Like

    Grace recently posted Giving Back at Christmas and Through the Year.

  526. Dave Matthews
    Jen Lancaster
    Jimmy Kimmel

    Like

  527. I’d definitely invite Leslie Hall. She is hilarious and could serve as our musical entertainment. :)

    Like

  528. Allie Brosh and Kurt Vonnegut. What good is having a dinner party if you don’t invite Kurt Vonnegut! You’re welcome.
    PS. And a pinata-good suggestion Grace!

    Like

  529. Surprised you don’t have Chuck Testa on your list. I think you’d enjoy a lot of his insight. And purchase his lifelike dead animals to play some kind of joke on Victor and then write about it here for my reading pleasure (Beyonce the chicken holds a special place in my heart).

    Like

  530. Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart (I find them sexy)

    Like

  531. You would make the list (of course) along with Chelsea Handler, Ross Matthews and Ozzy Osbourne (we need someone other than myself to make fun of).

    Like

  532. oh and Garrison Keillor too…….

    Like

  533. I realized last night I forgot Christopher Moore, which apparently I can’t live with, as here I am again. So there.

    Like

  534. Whew, list is so long it’s taking forever to get through it. So I don’t know if anyone has said Weird Al yet.

    Like

  535. Abe Lincoln…I mean..it is hypothetical right…

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    Shan recently posted Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree.

  536. Christopher Walkin! That would add alot of–fun to any party.

    Like

  537. Pee-wee Herman and Dolly Parton. You know Dolly can throw down. And you know she’d bring ambrosia!
    (Pee-wee goes without saying.)

    Like

    jenster8dc recently posted Hidden Treasures.

  538. Joni Mitchell, Tom Waits, Terry Pratchett, Christopher Moore, Leonard Cohen, Robin Williams as Popeye

    Like

  539. Snuffleupagus. Definitely.

    Like

  540. Wow, most of the people I would invite have already been invited by others! But I will list them anyway. :-)
    Paul McCartney (Because he’s just awesome!)
    Steve Martin (I always said he would play my dad in the movie about my life)
    Robin Williams (He’s funny as hell in any situation)
    Caesar Milan (My idol!)
    Conan O’Brien (an awesome host. He can announce the courses as they come in a funny and awesome way)
    Julie Andrews (my idol since I was a kid. Love her!)
    Dolly Parton (Don’t judge! She’s so down to earth, can laugh at herself, and just plain awesome)
    The Bloggess (Of course! We need a Zombie attack drill!)

    Like

    Stephie H recently posted Thanksgiving, Veggie style!.

  541. Crap, and I forgot Stephen Colbert! Of course he has to be there!!

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    Stephie H recently posted Thanksgiving, Veggie style!.

  542. Would it matter who you invited besides me? We’d both be in the bathroom fraught with anxiety regardless.

    You: Can you believe they came?
    Me: I KNOW!
    You: Do you think we should go outside and say hello?
    Me: No, I think the giant “Welcome” sign you put on Beyonce is enough.
    You: Do you think they like the taxidermy mouse place holders?
    Me: How could they not? And they get to take them home, too.
    You: I know, right?
    Me: And the waiter (you’d have it catered so you could blame someone else if they didn’t like the food) in Wolf Blitzer? Inspired.
    You: Do you think any of them are offended? Like, they’re PETA freaks or something?
    Me (cracks the bathroom door and peers out): Nobody’s splashed him with paint or anything, so I think we’re good.

    And we would spend the evening doing our nails and sneaking glances from our bathroom fortress while alternately directing and begging for more wine from the caterer.

    Who would come to our dinner party? Who cares. The only one I’d see is you.

    Like

  543. Silversun Pickups
    Hugh Jackman

    …And I have a solution for the sober vs. drunk Queen Elizabeth. Seat her next to BCISLEMAN at the beginning of the evening and then just slide her over next to you toward the end!

    Like

  544. Kristen Bell. I’m utterly fascinated by the way she looks exactly the same as she did when she played Veronica Mars without looking like she’s turned into plastic. Plus, she effing hilarious.

    Like

    Dana the Biped recently posted Country Biped Goes to Town.

  545. Oh and add Christopher Walkin. He’s pretty much gold in any situation.

    And my friend JenN who writes awesome stuff (anon?) like this: http://midtownreview.com/tv/american-idol/rant-8-cranky-pants-white-pants/
    We need to get her a blog – stat, but I can ASSURE you she’s awesome at dinner parties.

    Like

  546. Oh this is an easy one.
    1. Zooey Deschanel
    2. Allie Bosch
    3. Joss Whedon
    4. Tina Fey
    5. Tracy Morgan (don’t tell me that wouldn’t be hilarious.)
    6. Amy Poehler
    7. Florence Welch
    8. Amanda Palmer
    9. Mindy Kaling
    and last but not in the least bit least,
    10. Neil Patrick Harris.

    Oh. And you can come too. Maybe.

    Like

  547. Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter.
    Fo Sho.
    Awesome that you’re inviting the Poe Toaster. I knew I liked you for a reason. ;)

    Like

    Jen Marie recently posted Lessons in Shortbread.

  548. Kermit the Frog (any muppet, really) and James Earl Jones. I can’t believe you didn’t include him. (Oh, wait, are you still pissed he’s not reading your book? Right, right. I bet Henson Studios could make you a Darth Vader muppet, though.)

    Like

  549. I think you need to invite this guy and have him bring over some of his squirrels: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/12/14/taxidermied-squirrels_n_1148683.html?ref=weird-news

    Like

  550. I know D B Cooper……..well, maybe not the dude that jumped from the low flying jet. I feel like I know Traci Lords…………intimately…………….doh…………maybe I could crash the party and invite Alice Cooper instead of Alice Walker. And of course, any list without me is truly no party indeed…………just sayin’………..

    Like

    Bill Dorman recently posted Dead man walking wins free TV.

  551. I’ll fifth the vote for Misha Collins. Dude tweeted earlier today when a posted a naked picture on a horse. He keeps his word, and he’s funny. Oh, and Seth Green. mmmmmmmm

    Like

  552. SpongeBob SquarePants. I spend most of my day with him already thanks to my 3-yr-old and his insatiable appetite for Bikini Bottom adventures.

    Like

  553. Craig Ferguson. And Lady Gaga, because, OF COURSE.

    Like

    Angella recently posted And Then THIS Happened.

  554. I thought Barbara was starting down the path of dementia, but I much prefer your logical explanation that this was the joke draft.

    My dinner party would have to include Beyoncé, the giant metal chicken. Because she certainly made MY year more interesting.

    Like

    Karen Peterson recently posted Deja Vu: I Gave at the Office.

  555. Don’t you want to invite Nathan Fillion so you can at least get him with some twice? I mean, we may have to hold him down and wrap the twine around him – but at least you can check that off your bucket list.

    Like

  556. And I just realized that I wrote “get him with some twice”…. I’m not even sure how to analyze that.

    Like

  557. Oh Oh! Can I come? Not as a guest of course…but as a servant or body guard. I would body guard the crap out of Hamlet von Schnitzel! I mean he should technically be at the dinner party and well…who would be there to keep people from just taking his ass? Me! That’s who!

    Also, being there to see the haunted dollhouse in all it’s eerie glory would be an honor…because I like tiny things (really I do, it can’t be explained).

    Oh and I’m not crazy or anything. Not that you would be thinking that but it’s always nice to end stuff on that note just to clear things up. See this is me -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aTZ_OZ2vd2c talking like a normal person and everything…so it’s like proof and everything.

    Like

  558. Temple Grandin and John Elder Robison. Because what’s a dinner party without a couple of brilliant autistic people there to completely ignore all the social rules, and yet be completely fascinating to talk with. (I love that in conversation Temple asked if I would prefer for her to look at or listen to me, as she cannot do both at the same time.)

    Like

    Varda (SquashedMom) recently posted Morning Rites.

  559. 1 Ellen Degeneres & Portia de Rossi (power lesbian couple)
    2 Neil Patrick Harris & David Burtka (power gay couple)
    3 Wil Wheaton & Anne (power geek couple)
    4 The Bloggess & Victor (crazy couple with the power to make us laugh)
    5 Nathan Fillion (who has to dress like Malcolm Reynolds)
    6 Best Friend (because I can’t do anything without her)
    7 Adele (who was rather quite funny in an interview I saw and can sing for us)
    8 Graham Norton (who is hilarious and will make Adele not feel like the only Brit)
    9 Jackson Rathbone (who can sit by me and do all my talking for me because I’m shy and he’s gorgeous)
    10 Joseph Gordon-Levitt (who can REcord the whole thing)

    Like

  560. I say add all the super fans from the Star Trek convention.. At least you know they will dress festive when attending the dinner party.

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  561. I like your party. I would have to include Eddie Vedder. I’m sure I’ll think of some others soon though, but by then I’ll be too busy reading all the other comments to comment again. I’ll bring the jello shots, because jello shots make any party more fun and I make EPIC jello shots. :-)

    Like

  562. Neil Fucking Patrick Harris belongs at the top of the list. He’d be the whole shebang of entertainment.

    Like

  563. Charlie Sheen and a pound of cocaine.

    Like

    The Six-Fingered Monkey recently posted God, Have Mercy on My Soul.

  564. What – Elf on a Shelf isn’t on this list of most fascinating people? Pffft. Some list, Jen.

    I’m leaving a hilarious link – I can’t help it.
    http://hahasforhoohas.com/elf-on-a-shelf-funny-ecard/

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    anna @ HaHas for HooHas recently posted No One Ever Warns Us About Weenies.

  565. 569
    Greyblue_eyes

    I’d invite Craig Ferguson provided he was in character as Sid the Bunny the whole time, because every party needs a cussing cockney bunny.

    Like

  566. Um, is this a Christmas party? Because if it is, and you didn’t invite Santa, someone is going to be reeeaallly ticked off. And, you know what they say about Christmas payback….

    Like

  567. Harry Potter ALL THE WAY

    Like

  568. Fuck yes Eddie Izzard. I’d bring Matt Bomber. He’s so pretty…And gay. Why does he have to be gay?! It makes it harder to force him into marrying me. Also Matt Smith and Adam Young. Two possible husbands. And David Tennant. I think I’d be blinded by all the pretty.

    Like

  569. Any dinner party with you, Bloggess, would be the most fascinating dinner party in the world!

    But we’d have to take turns hiding in the bathroom because I have anxiety too.

    Like

    DogsDontPurr recently posted You Have To Be Present To Win.

  570. 574
    Kathy with a K

    Simon Pegg.

    Like

  571. I say Johnny Depp…cause you need some eye candy right? But then now that I think about it, he would probably turn up his nose at the invite and say something pretentious like: Dinner? With normal people? Ha.

    So for someone really cool…Ellen. No….she stopped being cool when everyone started loving her. Ricky Gervais. Nah…he takes himself way to seriously.

    Um…I….pick…me. Boom. Blew your mind right? I am very interestingly awesome. True story.

    Like

    imperfectmomma recently posted For you.

  572. Just when I thought I couldn’t love you more, you throw out a Jonathan Coulton reference. Well done. Can we invite him too? And Hugh Jackman for eye candy purposes? :P

    Like

  573. Nascar champ Tony Stewart
    Drew Barrymore
    Candice Olson, so she can help me redesign my kitchen
    Terry Fator and at least one of his “friends”
    Ron “they call me Tater Salad” White
    Sarah Jessica Parker, cuz maybe if I met her I’d “get it”
    The Olsen Twins, for the same reason…

    Like

  574. This is an obvious addition that should already be on there…
    I’m quite disappointed you didn’t put it on there originally.

    Isaiah Mustafa, a.k.a. The Old Spice Guy.

    Like

    Jessica recently posted School.

  575. Honestly, your commenters are freaking hysterical! Like the guy who didn’t want to bad mouth Bigfoot? I’m trying not to giggle too loud in work people! A little help.

    Like

  576. I don’t know if anyone has said this one yet: Helen Mirren. I bet she would be interesting.

    Also, regarding the Queen of England being drunk: I’ve noticed that in a lot of photos, she’s holding a wine glass filled with clear liquid (gin maybe?) And I saw a documentary about her once that noted that at all official dinner parties, when everybody else is served their wine, the Queen is always to be served her “special drink.” And it is always a wine glass filled with clear liquid (in addition to the water goblet.) So I don’t think you’ll have a problem with getting the old gal drunk. I bet she’s a riot when she lets her hair down, and can probably drink most of us under the table.

    Like

    DogsDontPurr recently posted You Have To Be Present To Win.

  577. John Waters, Pope of Trash

    Like

  578. I would invite Tegan and Sara, my favorite Indie band. I mean who doesn’t love a couple of lesbians who happen to be twins! Doesn’t get much cooler than that!

    Like

  579. 583
    gravelhighway

    Grace Kelly. SOMEONE at the table needs to have some class.

    Like

  580. Matt Smith

    Patrick Rothfuss

    Ellen Kushner

    Scott Westerfeld (and maybe I could redeem myself for pretty much drooling on him at Comic Con)

    Like

  581. Beyonce–the chicken and the singer

    Like

  582. You had me at Neil Gaiman….

    I hereby accept your invitation, and will be bringing Hannah Hart (of My Drunk Kitchen). I recommend laying in a stock of red wine & letting her do some of the cooking. (It’s not like anyone is coming for the food, right?)

    Like

  583. Dean Winters(UH Mr. Mayhem via Allstate not actual mayhem but that sexy guy that plays Mayhem), Sean Connery and the Dos Equise most interesting man in the world for “his words carry weight that would break a lesser man’s jaw” He also has a pet cougar.

    Like

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  584. Kevin Smith
    My friend Jen because two hilarious Jennifers would be AWESOME and I think that the two of you may be my long lost sisters because we share the same sense of humor and she is a crazy cat lady.

    Stephen Frye (the man is hilarious…and british)
    Wilfred(the dog Wilfred from the show…in costume and character)
    Chuck Norris because nobody is going to start nothin with Chuck around.
    Jason Momoa for eye candy.

    Like

  585. I think we should add “Mayhem” you know that guy from the insurance company TV ad? I like that he’s all dangerous all the time.

    Like

  586. It’s not a party without Amy Sedaris.

    Like

  587. 591
    Jennifer Langdon

    Betty White and the caveman from the Geico commercials.

    Like

  588. Johnn Deep (he is fascinating and easy on the eyes)
    Steven Colbert (to see if he is still funny with out a team of writers)

    Like

  589. Did anyone say Jon Stewart, yet? I love Jon Stewart.

    Like

  590. Alfred Hitchcock or Edgar Allan Poe. One of those. Since you’ve already included Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. But as the main dish, I think we should probably kill and eat the Twilight movie ‘actor’ trifecta. Please?

    Like

  591. I am not sure if he could hold his own against Zach Galifianakis, BUT. I’ve been obsessed with health care reform crusader Wendell Potter this year. http://www.wendellpotter.com . He’s one of those 1% guys who has seen the light and become a crusader for good. Awesome!

    If he couldn’t come, I am guessing that the former head of Medicare, Don Berwick, is available, since he just lost his job. He has an unnerving habit of deeply understanding every problem put in front of him, and also of always grouping solutions into threes. So that could make him a good drinking game participant in some fashion, I believe. He sounds pretty righteously angry these days about losing his job and about how ludicrously expensive healthcare is. If we can keep him from going dark on that stuff, it’d be awesome to hear more about how he’d like to fix it, as well.

    Thank you for the chance to think about awesome smart people I’d love to spend time with! Such a bonus that you’d be there too.

    Like

  592. I don’t mean to brag….. but I’d have to bring myself.
    Or…. Tim Tebow.
    Or…. Jim Morrison.
    Or…. Maybe Bradley Cooper… but that might not because you’d have no where to hide because I’d be totally banging him in the bathroom…. so maybe not Mr. Cooper.

    Like

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  593. Woah….Bigfoot *and* Shatner. I’m so there.

    I second the nomination for Allie Brosh. Worst case scenario: there is a lull at the party, so you and Allie arm wrestle for title of Funniest Blog. :D :D

    Like

  594. Gary Oldman
    Louis CK
    Ellen DeGeneres
    Amy Sedaris
    Ira Glass
    Dan Savage
    Samuel L Jackson
    Chan-wook Park
    Michael Caine
    Stephen Frye
    Allie Brosh

    Like

  595. It’s too bad Timothy Leary is dead. He could really make a dinner party!

    Like

  596. That medium from tv, Lisa Williams, so she could ring up the dead people for us. And we could all wear red dresses with wolf blitzers– it is winter, after all.

    Like

  597. Sir Terry Pratchett.

    Like

  598. Liberace! He’d be hilarious.

    Like

  599. Fergive me if I repeat any (I don’t always read fer detail well on the interwebbinesses…):

    Yellow Thunder Woman (lead singer fer The Bastard Fairies)
    Caprice Crane
    Chelsea Peretti
    The musical duo of Garfunkel and Oates (Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome)
    Patton Oswalt
    poker pros Daniel Negreanu and Jennifer Harman
    cellist Zoe Keating
    ‘Naked Nerd” Kat Curtis
    Ruth Gledhill (religion columnist fer The London Times)
    Arianna Huffington
    Bonnie Raitt
    Melissa Etheridge
    Reba McEntire
    actress Ellen Page

    (…hang on a second, I think I got my “Celebs I’d Like To Make Mad Passionate Love To” list mixed in here…)

    Like

  600. First off, I would NOT bring this Lean Cuisine cause this bitch is too hot. So, I hope you’ll be serving something delish.

    I’m torn between two.

    1. Kim Kardashian – I loathe her, so hear me out. I’d only invite her because it would bring everyone together. All your guest would be making eyes at each other and whispering, “Who brought HER to this shin-dig?” Total party closeness.

    2. Anyone OTHER than Kim Kardashian – Like even a wet sock would do. No explanation needed.

    Like

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  601. I’ll add my votes for David Tennant and Nathan Fillion and Anthony Bourdain (especially if he helps with the cooking), and Stephen Frye.

    I’ll add in my boyfriend (because I just could not bring myself to attend a dinner party with Anthony Bourdain and NOT bring my BF), the guy who draws xkcd, and Jeremy Clarkson (maybe all 3 of the Top Gear guys, although it might be hard to find something Hammond will actually eat that’s not a fast-food burger, and you need something James May will not be able to stop eating, lest he attempt to monopolize the conversation).

    Like

  602. 606
    Jennifer Becker

    Jon Stewart and Patrick Stewart, but only if they fight over me. Also, I am determined to spend my time in hell with Jon since he is going there and I’m pretty sure I am too even though there isn’t one. You can’t blame an atheist for not wanting to be overly bored after she dies and becomes nothing. So, I think Jon Stewart is my solution to that minor inconvenience. Oh there I go again…completely off-topic…sigh.

    Like

  603. Oh! I almost forgot – George Takei!

    Like

  604. How about Mr. Deity (aka Brian Keith Dalton)

    Like

  605. The grandma from Parenthood the movie who gives the roller coaster as life speech.
    Except she’s most likely passed on…still more interesting than the Kardashians.

    And what would you serve? Cocktail wienies?

    Like

  606. Alas, I would have invited Christopher Hitchens, but sadly he died yesterday. To the time machine!

    Like

  607. Emma Thompson and Elvis Costello.

    Like

  608. Love this! Jon Stewart would have to be at my dinner party. And Neil Patrick Harris.

    Like

  609. How about Nigella Lawson? She would cook an AWESOME dinner

    Like

  610. Dave Barry, Stephen Frye, Stephen King, Camilla Parker Bowles, Andre Norton, Ayann Hirsi Ali, Jim Wright, Michelle Bachman (just for comedic relief), Bill Maher, Craig Ferguson, and Richard Dawkins.

    Like

  611. I second Mae West, and The Golden Girls. I say we add Terry Pratchett because not only is he satirical with a dark sense of humor disguised by playfulness but he is descending into dementia. Pratchett with dementia has GOT to be even cooler than when he started (dear Mr Pratchett- from what I have seen you are dealing with that in a wonderfully graceful manner) plus he is friends with Gaiman so there should be shenanigans of some sort. Also, Chuck Berry, who is still alive and no one pays any attention to him anymore and I am sure he would come out with something vulgar and delightful.

    Like

  612. Anthony Bourdain, Tim Gunn, Anne Burrell and Alan Rickman. And Colin Firth.

    Like

  613. Terry Prachett, Stephen King, Harlan Ellison, Sean Bean, Jane Austen and Rebecca West. I may be crowding the table, but no one will be bored.

    Like

  614. Judi Dench
    Whoopi Goldberg
    Queen Latifah

    I think it would be a blast!

    Like

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  615. Aside from you, Victor, Beyonce and Copernicus?

    I’m with the guy who suggested Nathan Fillion and Eddie Izzard. That is a dinner party made of WIN.

    Like

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  616. How about Amy and David Sedaris? I can’t believe they’re not on this list!

    Like

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  617. So many awesome suggestions….but here goes:
    Jon Stewart, he just makes “news” funny even tho it mostly makes you want to cry
    David Tennant, because he’s full of awesome
    Maya Angelou, she’s my hero
    can Modest Mouse play music at this party?
    oh, and Luke Wilson, he’s friggen adorable

    Like

  618. Stephen king…Stephen hawking…laurell Hamilton.

    Like

  619. Betty White. Totally gotta have her there!

    Like

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  620. I second a few of the suggestions:

    Jesus (yeah, ditto about the wine provision!)
    Tom Waits
    Simon Pegg
    Kristin Wiig
    Ricky Gervais
    Kevin Smith (he might as well bring Jason Mewes)

    ..and I’ll add a few more:

    Andy Kaufman (and Jim Carey should be there, doing his AK impression)
    Tom Green
    Harry Houdini
    Tracy Ullman
    Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
    Noah
    Orson Welles
    James Spader (he and Shatner can sit on the balcony together)
    Stephen Root
    Phil Hartman

    Like

  621. Chelsea Handler (super girl crush) and Alec Baldwin (come on).

    Like

  622. oh, the doodling in math class girl is Vi Hart…I <3 her work oodles

    Like

  623. If you are inviting me then I will resurrect Kurt Vonnegut and bring him as my date.

    Like

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  624. I call dibs on the seat next to Tim Tebow, though, I’m pretty sure it would just be a private party with the 2 of us in which case it really wouldn’t matter where I sat as long as he was naked and I had a bottle of massage oil ready.

    For a dead person, I’d invite JRR Tolkien so he could teach me to speak Elvish.

    Like

  625. Um, you missed the eye candy Orlando Bloom!

    Like

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  626. Frank Caliendo but he has to change and be a different “person” every half hour. OH, and my friend Melanie because I won’t know anybody and I’ll have someone to make fun of all the people at the party on the way home. :)

    Like

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  627. Christopher Hitchens (RIP)

    Like

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  628. Christopher Hitchens. Definitely. I love anyone that offends the religious.

    Like

  629. Daniel Tosh. I hope he’s as vulgar and funny as he seems on TV.

    Like

  630. Harold AND Kumar. And maybe NPH, though I’m guessing he’s nothing like Doogie Howser in real life.

    Like

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  631. The 10th Doctor! Must bring his sonic screwdriver!

    Like

  632. I can’t think of anyone LESS fascinating than Katy Perry (and her awful songs/voice) or a Kardashian. I think Barb has gone senile in her old age….

    Like

  633. For those of you that have made it this far, here is my list:

    1. Liam Neeson (oh god, the accent)

    2. Dave Matthews (not only can he sing, but the dude can tell a story. And he’ll bring the green)

    3. Heather Armstrong (dooce!)

    4. Hannah Hart (My Drunk Kitchen….good call commenter #585)

    5. The cast of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (in character, of course)

    6. The Swedish Chef (bork! bork! bork!)

    7. The Ab Fab ladies

    8. And, since there are at least two other hockey fans on here, Sidney Crosby

    9. Lorelei and Rory Gilmore (and someone to keep me up on all their random pop references)

    10. The Dude (more green)

    I, for one, am thrilled that the majority of your commenters have RSVP’d. Even if none of our celebrities show up, this is bound to be a rockin’ good time!

    Like

  634. Soooo much more fascinating (especially with Vi Hart)…… No question that I would definitely attend your party (if I was invited of course) and send “regrets” to Barbara (she seems to have lost her mind)

    Like

  635. The Most Interesting Man in the World. Duh.

    Or Charlie Sheen circa 2011.

    Like

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  636. I met Ray Bradbury once at a talk he gave at a college in Illinois. This was about 15 years ago and he spent a good ten minutes bitching about how nobody goes to the library anymore, and that how this internet thing really sucks.

    I guess Ray didn’t have a problem with the stinky homeless who hang out near the periodicals.

    He also then mentioned they inked a deal for a Fahrenheit 451 movie starring Mel Gibson. Guess that didn’t work out. Probably for the best.

    Like

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  637. Amanda Tapping (aka Dr. Helen Magnus or
    Sam Carter). Overall kick-ass!

    Like

  638. Might be random for your crowd but whatever: I’d love to hear a conversation between Viktor Frankl, Arthur Schopenhauer, Ludwig Wittgenstein and HH the Dalai Lama. With a side of Anton Von Leeuwenhoek and Louis CK. And Eleanor Roosevelt. And Marie Curie. While sitting on Dave Grohl’s face. I’m just saying.

    Like

  639. Am I totally lame for not knowing who most of those people on your list are? It probably means you won’t invite me, right?

    As for Barbara’s list, I just… There are no words. The Kardashians? Really? I suppose one could argue that they’re fascinating precisely because they have no talent and yet they refuse to go away.

    As for who I’d bring… JK Rowling.

    Like

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  640. Fantastic list! I’d add Jim Parsons so that he & wil could crack us up.
    John Green
    Maureen Johnson
    Scott westerfeld
    And my dead pick– Jane Austen

    We wouldn’t really have to talk. We could just all eat while we read.
    Best. Dinner. EVAR. :)

    Like

  641. Why do I feel a dinner with schmucks kind of a vibe?

    Like

  642. i would totally invite Dr’s 10 and 11. also, the guys from Top Gear because i find them hilarious. honestly there is no one i find less interesting than the khardashian clan. i mean really your famous for no reason other than you are obnoxious rich peeps.

    Like

  643. In addition to the many fine choices already offered:

    Sandra Day O’Connor (I met her once — personable, smart and she must have loads of stories)
    Chrissie Hynde
    Ringo Starr
    Jon Hamm
    Caroline Kennedy
    Tom and Lorenzo

    Like

  644. Dorothy Parker

    Like

  645. Easy. Steve Jobs’s ghost.

    And myself. I would work really, really hard to be fascinating enough to attend this party. It just might be worth it to invite me.

    Like

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  646. David Grohl and Kurt Vonnegut Jr.

    Like

  647. Jimi Hendrix and Janis Joplin, and I hope I could convince JFK to stop by for dessert with Jackie and her amazing wardrobe.

    Like

  648. Nathan Fillion…. cuz.. yum.
    Ryan Renolds… cuz well.. yumm.
    Stephen King .. I’d love to pick his brain
    Patrick Stewart .. just to hear him talk.

    this would be the best party, ever.

    Like

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  649. Has anyone mentioned Banksy yet?

    Like

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  650. Neil Gaiman is a sure thing. J. k. Rowling because I want to know how her brain works. Rachel Maddow (yes I am that rare thing, a liberal democrat Texan). And for eye candy, Jack Harkness from Torchwood even though he’s gay and way too young for me.

    Like

  651. I believe Bigfoot is a vegatarian, so that might be a problem. Also, D.B. Cooper would be a zombie. Michael Chabon would be a good choice to sit next to Neil Gaiman. With the Shat present, you’ll need another huge ego to cancel his out—may I suggest Stephen Colbert?

    Like

  652. oh hell, I’m definitely there for Neil Gaiman and Amanda Palmer. Have been a fan of hers since the first Dresden Dolls album, and his… well, for a while. I would add Stephen King–although he strikes me as somewhat of curmudgeon, I’m totally enthralled by the way his mind works.

    Like

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  653. The Kardashians, Barbara Walters? Really?? *sigh*

    I’m glad you included William Shatner. I love him, whether or not he’s handcuffed to a humanzee.

    I’d add George Takei, Joss Whedon, and Stephen Colbert.

    Like

  654. I haven’t read all the suggestions yet, as it takes a while to go through 629 posts. However, I’d like to add Rachel Maddow and second the inclusion of Neil Patrick Harris. Also Stephen Colbert. And Prof. Tyson. And maybe President Obama and the Yarn Harlot. That is all.

    Like

  655. Spongebob
    Bucky the cat
    Homer Simpson

    Like

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  656. Is there a limit on how many people can come to the party? Because there are sooo many I would love to invite. Neil Patrick Harris (he seems to be a favorite already), Ellen DeGeneres, Dr. Who (all of them), Craig Ferguson (because I LOOOOVE that Scottish accent!), Troy Polamalu, Jude Law, the entire Monty Python troupe, Nathan Fillion, and that hot werewolf dude off of Grimm. That should do until I think of some more. Can’t wait for the party!! I’ll bring the Jack.

    Like

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  657. Let’s include Jareth the Goblin King and Ludo (but only if he doesn’t call the rocks), so Bigfoot will have someone to hang with. Also, M. Night Shyamalan, Jackie Chan, Will Farrell, Bono, and Kermit the Frog. I second Emma Thompson and Queen Latifah.

    Nobody tell Barbara Walters, or she’ll bring her friends ruin everything!

    Like

  658. Nice list!! Definately Nathan Fillion and Tim Minchin!

    Like

  659. Bjork. And George Clooney. They could even be seated next to each other.

    Like

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  660. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert for sure.

    Like

  661. M.C. Hammer, Angelina Jolie, Girl Talk, Chuck Close, Lady Gaga, Alan Alda, Jonathan Safron Foer, Annie Leibovitz

    Like

  662. All if your people plus:
    Joss Whedon
    Neil Patrick Harris
    Jason segal
    Alan rickman
    Zooey daschanel
    Helena bonham carter!

    Like

  663. Christopher Hitchens because 1) he was wicked smart, and 2) I like it when I’m not the drunkest.

    Like

  664. Jane Goldman and wossy
    Slash
    Whedon
    Helen Mirren
    Nerdist
    Juliette Lewis
    Moffat
    Gaiman
    John Lassitter (sp?)
    Nick Park
    Tim button and Helena Bonham Carter

    Like

  665. Of your guests, I heartily approve of Neil Gaiman and AFP, and Bill Shatner,three people I’ve always wanted to meet. I guess this boils down to who we’d dearly love to meet, because that’s what’s fascinating….to me, at least!
    My list:
    The three aforementioned, definitely
    Top of my list would have to be Barry Manilow, just because I’ve wanted to meet him since I was 11.
    Doug Jones
    Stephen King to brainstorm with Neil Gaiman
    Joe Montana
    A lot of you have mentioned people who are no longer with us, and if that was on my wish list I’d have John Lennon and Ella Fitzgerald
    Kevin Kline
    Scott Bakula
    Alec Baldwin
    Dustin Hoffman, but only if he’s drinking, because I met him once when he was, and he was infinitely amusing
    Ryan Gosling we’ll throw in for some eye candy.
    Katy Perry we’ll throw OUT because she annoys me in the extreme.
    Craigory Ferguson, possibly the funniest man alive, but only if he also brings his puppets.
    Wow, I would have to get a new house to accomodate this dinner party! :)

    Like

  666. And I missed David Suzuki, who is a modern-day hero. We’ll throw him on in there too. :)

    Like

  667. 1) Mark Zuckerberg (so I can stab him in the eye with a crab fork)
    2) Eric Clapton
    3) Billy Connolly
    4) Kris from PrettyAllTrue
    5) Father Benedict Groeschel
    6) Aaron Sorkin
    7) Peter Jackson
    8) A Hobbit to be named later
    9) Dallas Cowboys Owner Jerruh Jones (so I can stab him right between his weasel eyes with a steak knife)
    10) Pamela Anderson. (Because, duh).

    Just email me directions to your place, Jenny. And a round trip ticket from Auckland would be lovely.

    Like

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  668. 1. Neil deGrasse Tyson (astrophysicist), plus one
    2. Malcolm Ingram (filmmaker, podcaster), plus one
    3. David Mitchell (comedian, actor), plus one
    4. Rebecca Watson (blogger, feminist, skeptic), plus one
    5. Sasha Baron Cohen (comedian, actor), plus one
    6. Terroja Kinkaid (YouTube’s TheAmazingAtheist), plus one
    7. Brent Butt (actor, comedian), plus one
    8. Guillermo del Toro (filmmaker, novelist), plus one

    I traded my last two choices for a plus one for each guest. I think that’s fair.

    I probably missed some people I like, but I’ll catch them at the next one I guess.

    Like

  669. Robert david jones, alan moore and a guy named sting… Oh and one of them girls with large breasts and tiny wieists

    Like

  670. Sir Terry Pratchett, because I want to listen on a conversation between him & Neil Gaiman as they make plans for the Good Omens movie.

    Like

  671. Jim Parsons as Sheldon Cooper, so he can back talk Wil Wheaton and ask him Star Trek questions, etc.

    And yes, Neil Patrick Harris.

    And while you’re at it, throw in Jason Segel and the Muppets.

    Like

  672. Penn has to come too! He let me grab his ass once!

    Other than that…you’ve already got Neil on there, and he saved my life. Maybe Russell T. Davies cause I’d like to pick his brain, and his Doctor Who pulled me out of one of the worst depressions ever.

    Oh, and Jason Mraz.

    Like

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  673. Kurt Vonnegut Jr
    Tom Waits
    Richard Linklater

    Like

  674. 678
    Eudora Fletcher

    David Lynch
    The ghost of Eleanor Roosevelt
    Anne Sexton
    jeannette winterson
    Garbage including BB and Veela
    Tegan and Sara
    Beth Ditto
    Cate Blanchett
    Sylvia plath
    Virginia wolf
    Cokie Roberts
    Karl Marx
    Bugs Bunny and Daffy
    Paulo Coelho
    Etta James just to say thank you for the gift of her beautiful voice and to wish her the most peaceful ending possible
    Dorothy Allison
    Starhawk
    Emily Dickinson
    Fu Hsi
    Hilary Clinton and ply her with wine until she reveals all her truths…
    Mary Magdalene
    Einstein
    Woflgang Amadeus Mozart
    Janet Fitch
    Dorothea Dix
    My mother back when life held value and she was happy or at peace
    Wilhelmina W. Witchiepoo(from H.R. Pufnstuf) and she has to bring here vroom broom
    Kermit the Frog and Animal
    Tigger and Eeyore
    The Bronte sisters
    Audre Lorde
    Alice Walker but i think someone might already be bringing her so she can stay longer now
    Ubaka Hill an amazing percussionist, poet, songwriter, and drumsong orchestra
    Whitney Cummings
    Stephen Colbert
    Susan B. Anthony
    Edgar Allan Poe
    Harriet Tubman
    Mr Bill(from SNL)
    Michelle Tea(sister spit and writer)
    a few random unknowns because getting to know new people can be fascinatingly fun.
    Gilda Radner
    Aaron Sorkin
    Cin Salach(grand slam poetry winner, spoken word, musician)
    Lisa Buscani as she makes me giggle so hard i almost pee
    Alice In Wonderland and the Cheshire cat
    and so many more we would need one humongous fucking mansion or mansions…
    so I will end with anais nin.

    Like

  675. 679
    Claire Eddins

    My first stop here. Thanks for the good read, this is great fun. Here’s my 2011 guest list:

    1. Whitey Bulger. There is nothing like adding a well-connected, Machiavellian, hardened criminal to the mix. Hiding all those years! Imagine the secrets and skeletons he could spill after a few glasses of bubbly and a promise of freedom…
    2. Also, because her list is intolerably trite and boring, Barbara Walter owes us some extra entertainment… she should be made to come dressed in an outrageous party gown created by fashion/costume designer Chris March.
    3. Heck, he’s funny, I’d like to see Chris March at the party too. He may wear whatever he wants.
    4. I’m going with Craig Ferguson as well. He’s seen it all, he’s wise and witty, and he cracks me up. He’s my official Scottish American Ambassador. A great party should have an ambassador.
    5. Best selling author Ann Patchett. She’s got a new book out, yet, I’m still mulling over her Bel Canto, which I read years ago. I’m sure she’s got many more marvelous stories to tell and I’d love to hear a few first-hand.
    6. How about TV voice over guy Erik Thompson? I’d feel incredibly intelligent speaking with someone who sounds… so… authoritative. In fact, why not a room FULL of voice over guys. He should bring his friends. They could narrate a party video.
    7. No gathering is complete without a couple of Housewives from Bravo. Pick any three… perhaps, one who can cook would be nice. She can bring some finger foods. Regardless, you are guaranteed cleavage, high heels, big hair/hair extensions, shameless plugs for personal gain, some BOTOX, as well as verbal barbs, physical shoving and pushing, dinner tables overturned, and, at least one nervous breakdown. Apparently, we are all entertained by this kind of behavior… so, go with it. They’ll be great in the party video.
    8. Progressive Auto Insurance’s “Flo,” aka actress Stephanie Courtney, is a breath of fresh air and a must-have guest in my book. How could you party without her? Maybe she could bring her bobbleheads as party favors.
    9. Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and her astronaut husband Mark Kelly. They deserve a good party.
    10. If she could only be here, Elizabeth Taylor deserves an invite. For all her marvelous films, her iconic beauty, sensational lifetime experiences, many big-name husbands, charitable contributions, and most of all, for her orgasmic, world-class collection of fine jewelry, including the many, many pieces that just made for a “jaw-dropping” world-record breaking jewelry auction. Talk about a legacy…

    Like

  676. Can I come to your party?

    Like

  677. Anybody who invites Eddie Izzard AND William Shatner is OK by me.

    Like

  678. My #1 pick would be Bill Clinton because I just know that guy knows how to liven up a party. Besides, isn’t there always “that guy” who spends the entire evening hitting on all the ladies at a party?

    Like

  679. jon stewart. and the second brother darryl from the newhart show. the second one was cuter.

    Like

  680. I’d invite Oprah (because she’s jesus),Anthony Bourdain, the mythbusters,Helen Killer from regretsy,Zach Galifianakis, Meryl Streep,Chewbacca, the Chupacabra,and of course; YOU!!!!!

    GREATEST PARTY EVAHHHHHHH!!!!!

    Like

  681. Vaclav Havel, even though he is dead, because he was cool enough to start a revolution and name it after the Velvet Underground. (And also cool enough to stare down a lot of Soviet tanks.)

    Like

  682. Hmm. I have 3: actor Alan Tudyk, writer Terry Pratchett (who wrote Good Omens with Neil Gaiman, so it works), and writer Christopher Moore. Those 3 I know for sure would make excellent dinner party guests. All 3 are hilarious.

    Like

  683. Btw, I found you by following Christoper Moore on Twitter so I totally owe him one.

    Like

  684. Christopher Moore! for the sake of all that’s worth dying for!!!!!1 (High drama following 1st cup of coffee)
    Also! DICK CHENEY to be used as the party pinata.

    Like

  685. Great idea! First I’d invite @dcurtis. He is a world traveler and Superhero! Then I’d invite all my childhood heroes, John Wayne, The Lone Ranger, Robert Horton, Tonto, John Ford, Roy Rogers, Gene Autry and of course Clint Eastwood and what’s a party without Chuck Norris!!! I can’t wait!

    Like

  686. Taylor swift because she’s old enough to drink now and I want to know what went down (no pun intended) with John Mayer.

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  687. Madonna, Sarah Silverman and you!

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  688. Jesus. Anyone who can turn water into wine is invited to my party.

    Like

    Carri recently posted It’s Official: I Hate Birds.

  689. Oh! I forgot… Christopher Walken (but only if he brings the cow bell).

    Like

  690. Jhonen Vasquez

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    John recently posted Holiday Season - 2011.

  691. That guy from “Storage Wars”, Darrell Sheets. Mainly because I want to see him wearing a festive Christmas wife-beater undershirt, complete with pin-up girl tattoos. Strategic seating is a must: next to Queen Elizabeth, making awkward conversation about how much her fancy hat is worth, would be hilarious.

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    K recently posted Revive your wardrobe.

  692. i think will ferrell and john c. reilly would be a ton of fun. and i’d invite martha stewart, because i’ve always wanted to meet her and she could help decorate. i’d like to be seated in jake gyllenhal’s lap, please.

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    craftytammie recently posted we have a winner!.

  693. 697
    Designer_Gal_Stuck_In_BFE

    Tina Fey WITH Alec Baldwin (but only if he stops playing Words with Friends long enough to entertain us)…and how about Jon Stewart? You might want a spiritual miracle worker…like Tim Tebow? seat him next to Lady GaGa…imagine that conversation….

    Like

  694. 698
    Beth Damiano

    Obviously, I’ll have to throw my dinner party on a different night, because I’m also inviting Neil, Amanda, Wil, and Eddie. To continue the guest list: Jensen Ackles (and his wife), Jared Padalecki (sans his wife), Alan Rickman, Judi Dench, Ian McKellan, Nick Stahl, and you if you’d like to come!

    Like

  695. How about that coach from Penn State, but only so we can jump him and cut him with our earrings?

    Like

    Lorca Damon recently posted How Much Did the 12 Days of Christmas Set You Back?.

  696. My husband says “Batman! oh what’s his name?” “Bruce Wayne?” I interject, “No” says he “The real Batman”
    “Oh, you mean Adam West?” ‘YES! That’s the guy.. him and the other actor we like…” (I just look at him and blink as we like dozens of actors) “you know the guy with the big chin and the deep voice?” ( I knew he didn’t mean Leno because that Lantern Jawed Freak creeps me out) so I guess “You mean the guy who plays Kronk? (In the Emerperor’s New Groove) Patrick Wharburton? ” “Yes! That’s him”. “Okay I’ll share your wisdom with the Bloggess”

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  697. Joss Whedon, the guys who make World of Warcraft, my ex-boyfriend Stuart.

    Like

  698. Your list is SO much better. I love Zac G. Barbara W. must have been smoking crack while getting sodomized by a donkey when she wrote that list. WTF!?!?!

    Should you invite me, I offer to have a three way on the dinner table with Bigfoot (hopefully that thing about foot size as a tell for penis size is true) and Shatner while the monkey watched and smoked a loosey.

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    Gwen recently posted Tis the Season to be Skullfucking.

  699. Barbara Bush… but only if I’M drunk.

    Like

  700. It would be interesting to see a spreadsheet that lists all the people who have been suggested and the number of times each one was suggested.

    I’d make one, but I’m up to my elbows in spreadsheets for work…and I fear that one more spreadsheet just might kill me!

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    DogsDontPurr recently posted 9 Lives.

  701. I want Billy Connolly and Betty White.

    Like

  702. I’m going the ‘bring jesus’ route. He can stay in the kitchen, but someones gonna have to be in charge of the endless (water into) wine and food. 2 fishes to feed a crowd? Imagine what that man’d do with a whole roast!
    And I think he and tony bourdain would make a great couple.

    Like

  703. Uncle Jesse would definitely have to be included in my dinner party.

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  704. I’m gonna bring k.d.Lang and Elvis….we need music.

    Then I’m adding, Mr. Ed and Alvin & The Chimpmunks…… I don’t care they are not PEOPLE>…..they can still converse!

    Like

  705. johnny depp, chris pine, karl urban, simon pegg, aaron rodgers, graham harrell, michael crabtree, george clooney, sean connery, jon stewart, tom skerritt, sally fields, gena rowlands, ryan gosling, rachel mcadams, ed from extreme makeover home edition, leigh anne tuohy, james earl jones, portishead, torI amos, eddie van halen … i should probably stop fantasizing about a celebrity dinner and work on the blasted novel that i’ve been “writing” for the past decade or so.

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    c.c. recently posted what retail does to a girl.

  706. I’m adding David Tennant to your list so we can have someone delicious to look at. You’re welcome.

    Like

  707. Lady Gaga, because she’ll most likely arrive wearing something yummy to eat.
    Wanda Sykes, whether she’s drunk or sober (because you never really can tell)
    Paula Abdul, she’ll probably have lots of pills on her
    Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore, just because
    Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter in character (any character)

    Like

  708. Stephen Moffit and Terri Pratchett; sitting in a corner with them and Neil Gaiman would make my life complete.

    Like

  709. Damn. I would kill a puppy to get a seat at that table. Seriously. Just point out the furry little fuck and I will kill it.

    Like

  710. Jenny,
    This is going to be a sappy comment, so brace yourself (blame the Jack Daniels and easy accessibility to my iPad). I just want you to know that I empathize with you on many levels and wish you only the best of health…both physical AND mental. :). Your blog is usually the most hilarious part of my day and I so appreciate your snarky, sarcastic, and often insightful humor. Thanks for helping us mere mortals find the humor in everyday lives.

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  711. So the thing about dinner parties is that you can’t have all super interesting, funny people with Type A personalities. You have to invite people who are simply listeners. Or are really stupid and can’t really join in conversation, but can make stupid comments thereby providing fodder for the intelligent and witty people in the room. I would be included in the “idiot” group, along with Rick Perry, the dumbasses that have married any of the Kardashians and obviously Barbara Walters. Best. Dinner. Party. Ever.

    Like

  712. 717
    kelli kerkhoff

    Ok, when you said DB Cooper, I totally thought you were talking about DB Sweeney (from the movie The Cutting Edge) and then I had the lightning flash thought that you were extra cool because you were the only other person who remembers who DB Sweeney was and then I didn’t feel so alone. Damn that google check…

    Like

  713. My list: You, Norman Reedus, Peter Dinklage, Christopher Moore, Elphaba, the cast of Bridesmaids, Barney Stinson, Lucrezia Borgia, Janet Evanovich, and Dr. Perry Cox from Scrubs.

    Note: Lucrezia Borgia has to keep her hands visible at all times and isn’t allowed to touch anyone’s food.

    Like

  714. There is a sweet list cooking up already. I didn’t read all 715 responses so far, so I hope I have some new people:

    Andy Wharhol
    Mozart
    Charlie Bewley (he makes me laugh)
    Molly Ivans
    my husband – has a ton of good stories

    Like

  715. My friend just texted me the best link ever of Patsy & Edina from Absolutely Fabulous discussing the idiocy of the Kardashians.

    So, I want Patsy & Edina. Also, Junot Diaz.

    Like

    Suniverse recently posted Curiosity may have killed the cat, but she deserved it..

  716. Obviously, she is not widely read, or Beyonce (the statuary) would be on this list, too.

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  717. I would have to invite Sheldon from “The Big Bang Theory”. Enough said.

    Like

  718. David Sedaris. And his brother. But only if his brother is naked.

    Like

  719. David Sedaris. And his brother. But only if his brother is naked…….

    Like

  720. David Thorne…..I can’t access his website, what’s up ? I would love to spend an evening with David Thorne, and if he can’t make it David Sedaris and his partner and ask his sister Amy be the party planner.

    Like

  721. Brian Williams – dude is smart and funny and would be helpful in steering the conversation.

    You had me at Teller and EDDIE FREAKING IZZARD. Love. Them.

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    Aimee recently posted My Lungs Make Me Angry.

  722. can i bring people back from the dead? if yes, then julia child. and nikoli tesla.

    if no, i will be sad. and i’ll bring jenny crusie. martha stewart (what can i say, the woman fascinates me). vladimir putin. jim butcher. definitely sitting next to betty white, regardless of who i have to kill to do so.

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    Ericka recently posted Broken.

  723. I’ve never posted before but after reading your guestlist I thought I should tell you to reconsider inviting Bigfoot (ugh, hope he’s not reading this…). I have him over for dinner every once in awhile and seriously…he smells pretty awful, like he’s never heard of a shower before or something. No amount of baking soda could absorb that odor. Plus he’s not much of a conversationalist and there have been several dinner parties that he’s spent in the bathroom. Now I don’t know how many bathrooms you have in your house but unless you have more than 2, you’ll either have to be hiding in a shared bathroom with Bigfoot (talk about claustrophobia) or you’ll have to get a porta-potty…or maybe some Depends for the rest of your guests. Don’t get me wrong, he’s absolutely awesome…he’s just more of an introvert and feels most comfortable around close friends. Now Yeti on the other hand has phenomenal grooming habits and what a charmer…the stories he can tell! Plus he’s collaborating with Disney and has a ride dedicated to him at Disney World which he can get you unlimited fast passes for. Of course it’s your party so you can invite Bigfoot if you want to (It’s My Party parody…?), just thought I’d share my experience with you. If you’ve already had Bigfoot over your house before and know all this then just disregard.

    Like

  724. This is one kick ass party! I feel the need to chill it out a little- this is my zen party list:
    Jeff Bridges
    The Dali Lama
    Bob Ross (the happy-tree-painter)
    Dr. Cornell West
    I imagine having tea with them when I feel stressed and upset. Perhaps they could have a table in the bathroom.

    Like

  725. 730
    buffaloguy43

    Bill and Hillary Clinton.

    Like

  726. Dead or alive?

    Craig Ferguson
    Torey Hayden
    Gilda Radner
    Fannie Flagg
    Bette Davis
    Anne Sexton
    Tim Curry
    Dixie Carter
    Betty White
    Mitch Albom
    V.C. Andrews
    Madeline Kahn
    Princess Diana
    Patrick Swayze
    Carrie Fisher
    Henry Cho
    Kathleen Madigan
    Kathy Griffin
    Bonnie Hunt
    Natasha Richardson
    Alan Rickman
    Janis Joplin
    Brett Butler
    Charles Nelson Reilly

    We’d have to go to a restaurant though :)

    Like

  727. I’d add the late, great Molly Ivins.

    Like

  728. Queen Elizabeth can come, but only if Patrick Stewart comes, too. Because he has to do a karaoke face-off against Shatner and the chimp, with Wil Wheaton refereeing. And then Queen Elizabeth gets to pretend to behead the loser with a ceremonial sword while Wil collates papers in the background.

    Winner gets to pose with Beyonce, Ferris Mewler, and Victor, looking annoyed.

    Like

  729. Queen Elizabeth can come, but only if Patrick Stewart comes, too. Because he has to do a karaoke face-off against Shatner and the chimp, with Wil Wheaton refereeing. And then Queen Elizabeth gets to pretend to behead the loser with a ceremonial sword while Wil collates papers in the background.

    Winner gets to pose with Beyonce, Ferris Mewler, and Victor, looking annoyed.

    Like

  730. Marilyn Monroe and Gizmo (from the Gremlins) and my deaf Boston Terrier puppy McGee.

    Like

  731. I haven’t seen Tori Amos on this list yet. If you have Neil Gaiman, then you should include her. My husband suggests Conan O’ Brien, Barack Obama and also some guy that is famous in business, but he can’t remember the guys name. Well, that guy’s son. I saw that someone DID mention Danielle Ate the Sandwich, which I wholeheartedly second. Also Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein of Portlandia fame. And because I love my friends, I would like to include Greg Nibler and Sarah X Dylan of Funemployment Radio (as well as their intern Kenny B). They have met and interviewed many interesting and hilarious people. Oh, and I have always wanted to meet Drew Barrymore and Queen Latifah. OH OH, and the guys from the podcast Mysterious Universe, Benjamin Grundy and Aaron Wright. They would keep some conversation going! Plus, they would love to be seated next to Bigfoot. And I know that I mentioned him a couple hundred comments ago, but I don’t want him forgotten, EDDIE F’in VEDDER. Because he is awesome, and we could play ukuleles together and that would make me *SO* furiously happy (of course Danielle can’t play with us, because she would totally upstage me. NOT COOL Danielle). OH, and if we invite my husband and his other friend Gavin, then they can get together with Greg Nibler as the band Courage, which would be totally EPIC. GAH, I need to get this party planned, STAT.

    Like

  732. Let’s see…

    Alive?
    Richard Dawkins
    David James Duncan
    my dad – great stories, always

    If it doesn’t matter if they’re alive…
    Jesus (not because I am all churchy, he can bring the wine)
    Douglas Adams
    JRR Tolkein

    Like

    K recently posted Driving me distracted.

  733. 738
    Shawn from Philly

    I’d add Samuel L. Jackson. He is a Bad Mother F#$%er.

    Like

  734. Also John Malcovich. But only if for the entire party, whoever is close enough to engage in conversation just keeps repeating ” Malcovich, Malocovich, Malcovich (etc.)”

    Like

  735. I’ve met teller. He’s awesome. I also got my husband on stage to do a trick with them. Ummm…Catherynne Vallente, Joan Rivers and the Mythbusters.

    Like

    AmyBlam recently posted Let’s just call it a Christmas miracle that there’s no “People of TJ Maxx” mmmmkay?.

  736. Hanibal lector!

    Like

  737. Sookie Stackhouse and Vampire Bill.

    Like

  738. Ok Go and Animal. Need I say more?

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  739. I’ll bring Richard Branson… He seems delightfully quirky. I’d like to chat over drinks with him. (And my husband of course).

    Like

  740. Sorry I’m late I brought Dick Cavett

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  741. i would want jackie kennedy, harper lee, tori amos.

    Like

  742. 747
    G (Yes, the Cake Wrecks commentor)

    I would bring Tim Minchin, Miranda Hart, Darth Vader, Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Jen and John from Cake Wrecks, Copernicus ( Go homicidal monkeys with snout disease!), and all the British Royal Family so I can laugh at them. Oh, and all the Official Xbox Magazine team, as they are funny and satirical. On second thoughts, maybe all these people in a confined space with Copernicus could be ba- AAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!
    P.S: I forgot Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer.

    Like

  743. There are FAR, FAR too many comments for me to read

    Like

  744. Well shit. As I was saying, there are far too many comments to read, so I don’t know if anyone has mentioned Joss Whedon, but I would bring him.

    Like

  745. Dearest Jenny~
    I live with chronic pain — some days are worse than others. On the bad days, like today, I cave and take my pain meds. Which often makes for its own kind of frivolity.

    Reading your list of people, I saw Doodling in Math Class, but read: DROOLING In Math Class. Naturally, I clicked on that one.

    As usual, you brightened my day. Happens every time I come here.

    Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!