It's part post and part pimp

I saw this car parked in the street.  It has nothing written on either side, but the back speaks for itself.  I’m just not entirely sure what it’s saying:

No, you're not reading it wrong. This car says, simply: "WE MAKE SURE IT STAYS HOT AND WET."

What is “it“?  Is “itvagina?  Because that’s the only logical thing I can think of.  Victor says maybe it’s a plumber and “it” is referring to “water” but sometimes you actually want cold water.  Did you ever drink a big glass of boiling-hot tap water?  Because it’s shitty and that’s when you actually need a plumber.

On an utterly and completely self-serving notice, GUESS WHAT I JUST GOT IN THE MAIL?

That's right. There's another cover BEHIND THE COVER. That's how awesome it is. You can rip off one cover and the book will be like "Fuck you, bitches. I'm still ready to party."

So, yeah, it’s a copy of my new paperback two weeks before it comes out.  And I’m giving it to you.  Because I love you.  But only one of you gets it so the rest of you should totally go out and preorder it right now because if you don’t buy it they’ll burn all the leftovers.  So basically you’re supporting book burning by not buying this book.  Probably.  I don’t really know what happens to books that don’t get bought.  They probably just go to book orphanages and look through rainy windows longingly.  Hard to tell.

Want the book?  Leave a comment and I’ll randomly select someone this week.

PS.  It’s vagina, right?  Right.  It’s totally vagina.

Updated:  Winner ~ Fiona  (Thanks!)

1,681 replies. read them below or add one

  1. It is absolutely an undercover vagina repair service!

  2. Mobile soup kitchen? I totally want that book.

    Amanda recently posted Tuesday Cube Letter- Your E-mail Priveleges Have Been Revoked.

  3. Hmmm maybe it is a company that services spas or hot tubs?

    Vaginas are much funnier though.

    nonsequiturchica recently posted Assurance.

  4. I TOTALLY want the two-covered, paperback version. And it doesn’t HAVE to be a vagina. Maybe it’s a mobile sauna. They’re all the rage in….oh…nevermind.

  5. I would LOVE a copy of your book. Can’t wait to read it!

  6. I’d love a copy of your book – heard it’s awesome!

  7. Soup? I want soup to be hot and wet. Screw powdered soups and gazpacho!

  8. I agree. It has to be a vagina.

    And because I agree, I should totally win this book. :)

    Melanie recently posted The Time I Felt Like A Mean Girl.

  9. That looks like no plumbing vehicle I have ever seen, so I am going with your guess. I also want that book!!

  10. want. want want want want. will you sign it?

  11. I need that book, or my kitten will starve.

  12. ME ME ME! I have the hard cover, but if I could get the paperback, I could save the postage it will cost me to send my bff my book, and she’d have her own damn copy. :)

    Lesley recently posted for the love of the game.

  13. Memememememe!!! I want the book!

    I don’t think it’s a vagina. But only because I can’t imagine who would need a truck that big for their vagina.

  14. I thought it might be for containing live animals until I read the slogan. Although, this could still be true.

  15. Maybe it goes house to house handing out those hot towelettes for people. Now that is a service!

    Gail recently posted The Stand.

  16. Clearly it’s a mobile water park.

    Mom in Two Cultures recently posted Maybe This Wasn't Such a Good Idea After All.

  17. Maybe, just maybe it’s a hot tub repair man? But honestly, Vagina makes more sense. Have the hardback copy, but would looooove the paperback as well. Gotta read that extra chapter!

    Summer O recently posted UNDERSTANDING CHANGE.

  18. BBQ? A mobile hot towel service? Vagina?

    Chrissy recently posted Yarn Drying Rack.

  19. Sadly the books that don’t get bought go to a bad place. They tear off the covers and throw them in the trash or send them back to the publisher. Not a happy book retirement home. My mom used to make me and my brother go in the dumpster and pull out bags of de-covered books…true story.

  20. What’s really throwing me off is that it looks like some sort of prisoner transport truck. The implications of that … oh boy.

    Patent recently posted Things I suck at -- Volume 2: Mini golf.

  21. It’s probably Vagina. I would very much like the paperback version because of the extra chapter that isn’t included in the far more expensive hardcover, which I totally own. And is signed. Twice. Once by Jesus.

    The Reverend Doctor recently posted Post the Fourty-Sixth: In Which Our Hero Confesses to All The Writing He’s Done Otherwhere.

  22. Definitely vagina. Now I’m curious to know what’s in the van. Hmm.
    Also, would love that book

  23. 23
    conchita del mundo

    i vote for me since i’m the first person to leave a comment. and i never leave comments for anything. of course by the time i leave my comment i probably won’t be the first and that will really piss me off.

    oh, well. please!

    p.s. there’s no phone number. advertising for hot, wet-kept vagina services would definitely include a phone number, right?

  24. It’s a hot tub service, of course.

  25. It is vagina. And I’d like a book with 2 covers. I really hate it when my books are underdressed.

  26. Definitely vagina! I want your book!

  27. BOOOOK! I would then have the Bloggess Trifecta.

    “It”…Hot tub repair service? Car wash? Soup?

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Contest Tweets Are Like Car Alarms.

    Also, Sudafed is a wonderful thing.

    Squishy Amber recently posted Resolution.

  29. I want to win a paperback copy of your book for 2 reasons. One, people keep wanting to borrow my hard-cover copy and I don’t want to lend it to them. They can get their own damn book. And two, I kind of resent that I bought the hard-cover version and now there’s a new chapter in the paperback version. So after I read the new chapter, I can loan the paperback version to my daughter and 17 other friends who have tried to sneak my hard-cover copy out of my house. Thank you in advance.

  30. Vagina. Totally vagina. Also, totally awesome cover (not code for vagina).

    Robin2go recently posted Keeping a boy’s dream alive..

  31. I want that book! Actually, I *need* it.
    Thank you!! :)

  32. Okay, so I actually LOLed at the picture and then showed my husband. He said, “Haha- obviously, it’s a plumber.” WHA??? I totally don’t get that inference but it must be a guy thing because I said, “That is what her husband said!!” I’m all incredulous over here…I can’t make the plumber link in my head. It has to be vagina.

    Jennifer recently posted Happy Shrove Tuesday/Fat Tuesday/Mardi Gras/Day-Before-Lent.

  33. a jacuzzi maybe? a sauna?

  34. 34
    conchita del mundo

    grrrrrrrrrrr. i knew it. last place.

  35. Coffee? Maybe it’s a mobile coffee shop? I like my coffee hot. And coffee is wet…

  36. Please pick me because I have been dying to read and too poor to buy! Ha! recently posted I can multitask like a mother.

  37. i want the book! but if i don’t win i was planning to buy it anyway :-)

  38. I’m not convinced I want to know what “it” is. Let’s just go with vagina.

    My Half Assed Life recently posted Real Friends Don't Play The One-Up Game.

  39. I vote Pool Boy. Works on so many levels.

  40. Ummmm….sorta looks like a Jesus fish on there too? Now I’m way confused. Faith? Or saviors? Do you want those things hot & wet? WHAT DOES IT MEAN???

    Jessica recently posted Don’t tink alpaca. Seriously, don’t. Hey guys? DON’T TINK ALPACA. That is all..

  41. Maybe it’s a geyser? ;)

  42. Jacuzzi repair?

  43. Water heater installation? Which, given the alternative, sounds pretty boring.

    But really, if you were going to have a truck that advertised your prowess with the lady bits, don’t you think it would be painted red or black or something? Something sexy, that subtly gets the point across that there’s more to you than just a sexy slogan.

    And yet- you’d still probably live in your parents’ basement.

  44. I’ve never understood those hot wet, towellettes Gail mentioned. I got bumped to First Class the only time I flew, since the President fucked up my connecting flight, and I felt so….Eliza Doolittle when they handed me the hot wet towel and I was all….”wtf do I do??” and I pretended to know, but I didn’t.

    Dangerous Lilly recently posted Contest Tweets Are Like Car Alarms.

  45. 45
    Michel Sabourin

    I bought the hardcover digitally, so I need a paper version for traveling and eventual dissemination to an unsuspecting public via random placement

  46. I really hope I get the extra chapter. Also, this truck disturbs me. And not in a good way. There is nothing good that can happen as a result of that truck. Sorry, truck.

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted My Valentines.

  47. Huh. The juxtaposition with what I assume is a Jesus Fish is interesting as well. Or is it some sort of alternative fish shape? Perhaps a shark?

  48. I want, no, NEED that book. I happen to collect paperback books with two covers that are given away free by the author. Right now my collection is at zero. :(

  49. 49
    Stephanie Bendel

    Totally a vagania! And I would love the book!!

  50. I’m stumped. I can’t imagine it’s anything other than the gutter my mind is taking me.

    And book. I’d love the book!

  51. Maybe they left it vague on purpose, like, “It doesn’t matter what your ‘it’ is, we got that shit covered.” Kinda like a multi-purpose fluffer.

    Ellie Di recently posted INKCHANGER has arrived!.

  52. I WANT THIS!!! Because i doubt that you will come to Toronto again… and i really want to see if my baby and are in the new chapter. Because we totally deserve at least an honourable mention.

  53. In bed with the flu, I’m pretty the new chapter (I already have the hc) would help me feel better more than anything else I have here.

  54. Yes yes yes I want it. OMG how I want it. Holy crap did I say I wanted it? Because if I didn’t say I wanted it, I sure meant to say I wanted it. Guess what? I want it.

  55. I’m a little bit afraid to know what that truck is really for. I sort of want you to go back and ask just so you can tell me, though.

    Mary Ann recently posted Lather, Rinse, Repeat: Cloth Diaper Laundry.

  56. Definitely vagina.

  57. Its hot chocolate mobile! Your book needs a trip to New Zealand :)

  58. It’s definitely vagina. What else could it possibly be?

    The book looks fantastic!

    Lix recently posted Lavender Flowers Photography Print 8x10 Nature Photography, Green Grass, Home Decor, Wall Art by lixhewettphotography.

  59. Hi, Read your book and loved it. I kept my boyfriend awake at night because I was either laughing too loud or trying to read him an excerpt. I used your book for a presentation on the use of archives in every day life for school (seeing as there are some pretty cool pictures in your book), and my teacher would like to know if it has been translated to French yet. If not, do you have the intention to do so?

  60. I am thrilled you got your book! I can’t wait to get a few copies myself,they make great gifts!! ;0) Thanks for being so inspiring and honest-it really helps a lot of people.

  61. Carpet cleaners, I say they are carpet steam cleaners. Which means vaginas can still be correct on multiple levels (yep , I want the book too!)

  62. I’m gonna have to guess it’s a sauna or hot tub repaire service.

  63. 63
    Jennifer @ Geek Chic Mama

    Wow. I just . . . Wow. That vagina service van has balls.

    Jennifer @ Geek Chic Mama recently posted It’s a Woot-Off!.

  64. Portable steam room/sauna? Travel comfortably in a spa!

  65. Maybe a hot tub repair service? I don’t understand what else should be hot AND wet at all times…

  66. Most definitely a vagina. Hands down,

  67. Maybe it’s talking about Florida or Georgia. I think they’re hot and wet most of the year. But probably vagina… PS: I’d love your book in paperback. :)

  68. 68
    Jeff (@J_Low)

    Is that a Jesus fish on the right side? Because if it is then it’s totally vagina.

  69. I like the mobile soup kitchen idea that Amanda suggested – but vagina seems far more likely.

    Can’t wait to read the extra chapter!

  70. It has got to be vagina… I wonder if this person is driving around with a truck full of vibes and lubes and what not.. lol pretty funny. And thankfully it was parked, because I bet you would’ve crashed trying to take a picture of that thing going 80 on the highway

    Erica B recently posted Stealth trip to the stomping grounds.

  71. OMG It would make my life if I won this! I ? Jenny!!!

  72. I would love to have this book.

  73. Okay so maybe just maybe? They’re talking about manure…you know? animal manure? :P
    Hot and wet poop you deliver to er…make Texas more fertile?! :D

    Miss Gee recently posted The Default Option.

  74. I’d love a copy :D

  75. It could be a menopausal van-truck wannabe!

    Kris recently posted President’s Day, Presidents’ Day, or Presidents Day.

  76. If that is a plumber’s logo then I don’t particularly think it is a good one with the need for cold water I expect from my tap. However, mobile GYN services seems a bit far fetched. I don’t think they could get a license for that, or maybe they could. Bet that’s one of those state by state type decisions. And yes, book please!

    Veronica recently posted When Life is Too Big There is This Moment.

  77. A REALLY poorly marketed food truck? For…steamed food? I got nothing. Keep away the children.

  78. 78
    Tommy "Robot Omens" Osborne

    The waiting list at my library is too long! Poor folk like to read, so please pick me.

  79. I wish I knew what was in the extra chapter!

  80. Maybe they are running an illegal mobile tea service. and I don’t just want that book, I NEED it! If I don’t get it, I can not be held responsible for my actions.

  81. I want it to be a vagina.

    But I’m thinking wanna-be food truck? I think ribs should be involved.

  82. I most definitely is vagina, what else could they possibly be referring to? And it occurs to me that if it’s something else, they totally should know better. I mean, do you expect the rest of the world *not* to go there?

  83. A plumber that only does showers? Mobile greenhouse? I would google it, but I’m sure I don’t want to see what else comes up. (Innuendo intended.) Thanks for the chance to win your book!

    Jordan recently posted SOTD - 01.24.13.

  84. Whenever I think of the question “What is ‘it’?” I think of the song Epic by Faith No More, which makes me think of the video for that song, which makes me think of a fish out of water thrashing for its life, which makes me sad.

    Give me your book.

    Observacious recently posted List 32: How to be professional (or at least fake it).

  85. Maybe he’s a sauna repairman. Or he sells weiners. The frankfurter kind, I mean.

  86. Maybe it’s a jacuzzi/hot tub repairman? I’d love to have a copy of your book. I bought the hard copy when it first came out and loaned it to a friend, who then loaned it to another, and so on around the office. Now I fear I will never see it again so I definitely NEED the paperback copy! Please *insert sad puppy dog eyes here*

    Lelain de Peche recently posted Rebirth.

  87. That’s a hot tub on wheels. And I would love this book!

  88. Hot water heater repair vag?

  89. I’m too distracted to fathom what on earth “it” is because….is that a Jesus fish?!! The plot thickens.

    Amanda recently posted Confessions of a [Former] Woman.

  90. I am at a complete loss! Also, I want the book! I recently got some friends hooked on your blog. I also loaned out my hardcover book. I need the paperback as backup!

  91. Minds out of the gutter people. It’s probably just a hot tub. I’m ready for my book now!

  92. That’s how I felt after reading your book.

  93. I thought Barbeque

  94. i think there should be a code, preferably magical in nature, that would allow me to read this “new chapter” without buying the paperback. i totally support you and bought 2 copies of the hardcover came and saw you at a costco in shoreline washington. i couldn’t stay and join the parking lot goodness cause of my crazy. i went to costco in a tank top showing off all my scars for the 1st time in public. then i had to go home. right away or some one might have died or something. thanks for the book. if you gave me a paperback one once i read this “new chapter” i would give it to someone…..
    Happy day

  95. I want that book … but I also want a book of just covers.. so I could rip off each cover and have it be like a disguise for my books… a book of book covers? is that too meta?

  96. mobile coffee shop. tea, lattes, espresso.
    yep, that’s what I’m going with.

  97. I have no idea what “it” is, but if it’s vagina, I am worried about the size of the truck.

    Also, if I win the book, I’ll be so thrilled. A friend bought it for me for Christmas, and then it was stolen out of the mail. She and I were both heartbroken.

  98. Maybe a hot tub repair man? Do they even have hot tub repair businesses?

  99. “IT” is shit, but louder.

    Amanda recently posted concert tour poster.

  100. Hot tub maintenence perhaps?

    Yes please for a book! Did you know that the Canadian versions DO have the extra chapter? We’re all pretty excited aboot that up here, eh?

  101. I’m thinking Jacuzzi?

    Whatever it is, the truck is uber creepy and I don’t think I’d want it pulling into my drive under any circumstances.

    Alicea recently posted Yep, epically bad idea.

  102. Need book…for….learnings. Yesss. Book learning. And I love you. Please?

  103. Is half an hour begging enough to bag the book? Which, by strange coincidence, is the same approach I take to sex…

  104. Thanks for the chance to win!

  105. My first thought had something to do with men in white coats coming for someone, but. . .

    I, sadly, have not read this book yet. It’s on my list waiting for some money to come to me unexpectedly. So please, please send me the book. I need it!

    Tima Murrell recently posted Photo Challenge Day 1.

  106. Since I bought your book for everyone else this Christmas- I had no money left to buy one for myself! I would love your book & my birthday is too far away to wait. Please- I’ll send you pics of my taxidermy giraffe, Geoffrey.

  107. Coffee???

    I sure hope it is coffee…

    Vanessa recently posted Fresh Snow (Week 4 Day 6 & 7).

  108. I pre-ordered your hardcover book and I bought your audio book so I should win your paperback. Don’t you think so?

  109. 109
    Amy in Atlanta

    I would love to read your book for free, thank you very much!

  110. If it is a plumber, my advice would be to wear good fitting pants. Nothing is staying hot & wet if there’s a bare ass crack snaking your toilet.

    Vanessa recently posted Valent...I Give Up Day!.

  111. I’m trying real hard to think of what else it could be besides vagina….and I got nothing. On another note, I’d be super pleased to get your book!

    Nikki recently posted “I prefer not to.” Or, The Outcasts of 19 Schuyler Place.

  112. Either a vagina or they’re making some seriously ill-founded claims about tropical swampland.

  113. They totally want you to THINK it’s a vagina. They’re doing that to get attention. There’s the aura of mystery – you are dying to know “what IS IT???” Kind of like my blog title.

    MILF Runner recently posted Mailbag Monday #7.

  114. I want the book! But I’m also adding it to my to-read list on Goodreads, so I remember that I’ve been wanting to read it for a while.

    It could be a waterbed repairman’s truck. Waterbeds just aren’t that cool anymore, which might explain why they’re embarrassed to paint the rest of the truck. Also, waterbeds make some people hot and wet, ifyouknowwhatimean.

    Susanna K. recently posted Finding Sacred Space in a Secular Schedule.

  115. It looks like some sort of mobile murder truck….so yeah

    Oh, and I want your book, I need it in my life.

  116. I mean, orphans are great but I don’t think that they would appreciate the complexities of how awesome this cook is. I think it would be better among those of us who can share some experiences with you, or those who may be just a little bit crazy. Luckily I’m both of these things!

    Tanya recently posted I fought a Robot.

  117. Want. Wantwantwant. Please? I need a copy to complete my matching set of all the other versions I’ve bought!

  118. Today I ran from zombies at the gym.
    Then I had pancakes.

  119. 119
    The unicorn tamer

    I kind of really want that book… You should take pity on me and my lack of richness. Also I want to rub the extra chapters on my face sensually. Not really. Or I could be serious. YOU’LL NEVER KNOW.

  120. LOVED the book!

  121. 121
    Jesse Markham

    Vagina soup? A pap smear?

    Congrats on the paperback!!

  122. Especially if it is vagina…I then would need to know who “we” is and what their methods are.

    Regardless if it’s cauaing this much thought/discussion must be a pretty effective slogan.

    Kayleigh recently posted Once Upon a Time I'm Pretty Sure I Invented a DIY.

  123. I really want the book, but I have to say that Observacious (post 45) has the best possible comment. Can I be like an Oscar model and get to hand a copy of your book to Observacious?

    Faith No More FTW.

  124. Could it be a delivery truck for mail order sex toys ? Would love the book, I wouldn’t even rip off the cover, I promise.

    Kathy C recently posted The unfairness of invisible ailments.

  125. If I get the paperback I will burn my hardback.

  126. definitely full of male strippers. definitely.

  127. I want that boooooooook!! First I want to read the new chapter and then I promise to give it to someone else and proselytize for you. HA.

    Also maybe it was a hot towels truck. Hot towels are only good when hot and wet, right?

  128. I’ll probably go with vagina on this one, too. But looking at the back of that vehicle more closely, I think I see… is that a Jesus fish?? Too small for me to tell , but if it is, maybe they should consider changing the wording to read “WE MAKE SURE IT STAYS HOT AND WET – FOR JESUS.”

    I should probably stop commenting on blogs.

  129. Absolutely it’s vag.

  130. book orphanages??? that’s so sad, i’ll adopted them all. there’s no reason for them to end up like voldemort….no reason at all.

  131. Hot and Wet? Does that mean a cold dry vagina is abnormal? Because I am pretty sure here in Canada my freezes up every time I go outside.. Please advise.

    tabitha W recently posted The Crazy Cat Lady At Number 15....

  132. Mobile Sauna, perhaps? Which naturally would keep all genitalia (outty or inny) hot & wet…

    Unrelated: I would love to win that book.

  133. I want the book and I want it hot and wet.

    Maggie recently posted and this is how we'll increase our geek cred.

  134. I’m guessing it is what your audience thinks it is most times and there is a resounding scream of vagina here. If not that, maybe they work in hydroponics? Growing food takes warm water… can’t think of many that do well in really cold water.

    Janice recently posted Touring a Sawmill in Northern California VIDEO.

  135. I never win anything. (Perhaps just this once, reverse psychology will work.)

    Pam recently posted This little piggy went to market....

  136. 136

    Pick me! I already bought the hard-cover version for myself and one for my sister, but I want the new chapter!

  137. If not a mobile soup kitchen, perhaps cauldron repair? Cauldrons take so much abuse.

  138. soup? or vagina totally. I need the paperback. already have the hard cover but a whole extra chapter? must have….

  139. I was told I would be personally mentioned in this alleged “extra chapter”.

    Also – “hot and wet” refers to how Frank Drebin likes his roast beef: “Very hot, and awfully wet”, because obviously.

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  140. But what would a vagina truck even DO?! Also, I want this book.

    Erynn recently posted Interview with debut author, Jessica Keller.

  141. I REALLY want to know about that truck! Sneak inside please! Oh, and a copy of your book would be SO AWESOME!

  142. Oh it’s vagina for sure! I need this two cover book to keep me happy!

  143. Do swamps need servicing? (And yes please–I want that extra chapter!)

  144. Maybe it’s soup! Can haz your book?

  145. Clearly you need to knock on the window and ask what they are keeping hot and wet. A girl must know these things!
    Carrie from Just Mildly Medicated

    Carrie recently posted The begining of a trip to the Mayo Clinic, Night Ranger and Roller Coasters.

  146. It sounds like it might be a water heater contractor, but vagina is totally more fun. Reality is generally less funny. When I was in a hotel at Niagara falls, there was a freebie in the bathroom labeled bonnet de douche. which I though was a special hat that you wore when douching. It turned out to be a shower cap. Very disappointing.

  147. 147
    Lauren Richey

    Maybe it’s a hot water pressure thingie. Oh and I don’t need your book because I’ve already read it a billion times on my Ereader but I want it as a present for my English professor. She would DIE if she read it.

  148. 148
    Kellee Peters

    Ooooooooo – pick me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  149. I need this book. But alas, alack, I am poor and lazy which are terrible combinations.

  150. Books that don’t get bought get reported as not sold and have the covers ripped off them. Fortunately, your book is totally prepared for that circumstance so it’s not clear what effect this would have. I believe this means that people should buy all of them before your book destroys the entire publishing industry.

  151. I sure hope it means vagina, because that would be a very important service. No one likes a cold, dry cooter.
    Okay I have no idea, I just really want your book. I also wanted an reason to use the word ‘cooter’ in a sentence.

    Banana Stickers recently posted Zesty as Fuck.

  152. You know what’s funny about books that don’t get sold? Bookstores rip the covers off and send them back. I’m not kidding. Seriously, it’s what they do.

    Abby recently posted Climate 101.

  153. Hot. Wet. Vagina. Plumber.
    This leads to some euphemism about Laying Pipe…

  154. Oddly enough, whatever they’re keeping hot and wet must like to look out windows. Either that or it’s a safety precaution for the poor driver so he can check what the hot, wet thing is doing before he opens the doors.

    delicate wolverine recently posted Welcome to Eclectic Geekage!.

  155. 155

    I just finished reading it on my Kindle and really loved it. Funniest thing I’ve read in a very long time. Three thumbs up.

  156. What if it is a plumber? I’m not sure if id think he really “dives in” to his work or if upon seeing a soaking wet hot plumber would make me think “advertising NAILED IT!”

  157. O3O (Big Eyes and Duck Lips yo!)

    I would totally love this book!!! Why??? Because my friend would love this as a birthday gift and I’m pretty sure I’d be promoted to the top of her friend list. I think this includes getting to sit by her a lunch and stare awkwardly at her and giggle until I get demoted again. But temporary promotions are the best?! Right???

  158. Serial killer lair?

  159. I think I am the last person in the world who hasn’t bought your book. Please, please, pick me!

  160. It seems likely that it’s vagina. I would love a copy of your book, which I so far only own in e-book-form.

    Malin recently posted #CBR5 Book 17. "One Night in London" by Caroline Linden.

  161. I bought your book when it was first released and have never cried-laughed so hard in my life!! Husband is now convinced I am a total nut!! Mission Accomplished Jenny!! I would LOVE to read the new bonus chapter!!!

    Oh – and ya, it’s totally vagina.

  162. It must be vagina. Definitely!
    And I really would love to have your book!

    Joy recently posted He's got balls.

  163. an FBI surveillance van disguised as a wet burito truck-They also know what you did last summer.

  164. If I win, I’ll have a perfect set of bookends… paperback and hardback Beyonce AWESOMENESS!

    PS: It’s totally vagina.

  165. That’s a lot of room for vagine.

  166. I would love a copy of the book! And I want to know what the truck is about!

  167. I have no idea about that truck. I have sat at work for a good amount of time now trying to figure it out. So I guess I’ll get back to work while I wait for my signed copy of your awesome book! ;-)

  168. Yep. Vagina.
    Love books!! Have the hardcover but would love to read the new chapter.

  169. Of course it is a vagina…it could not be anything else. I really want the two-cover book…it will go nicely with my single cover book….

  170. HVAC – or hot tub repair are the only real LOGICAL possibilities.

    But vagina is so much more fun. Especially with all those compartments on that truck.

  171. I’m not totally sold on vagina as the answer. I mean, there IS such a thing as *too* hot. Not that I would have any frame of reference whatsoever, since I don’t have one and I’m gay and they generally scare the shit out of me (hot or cold). I guess what I’m trying to say is, I totally deserve that free copy of the paperback! (Because I need something to make up for my lack of a vagina.)

    P.S. I LOVE YOU (starring Hilary Swank)

    Nic recently posted OkCupid is Riddled with Psychos, and I’m One of Them.

  172. I can’t imagine what they’d be referring to. The slogan makes you think vagina, but look at the truck! I wouldn’t want to ship my vagina in that.

    It looks like some kind of roadkill delivery service. They probably keep spatulas in the side storage bins.

    On the subject of the paperback book and its extra chapters… as someone who purchased the hardcover book last year, is there some kind of upgrade we can do? Get the additional content inserted somehow, for a nominal price? I don’t want to have to re-buy all the chapters I already bought, just to get the new bits…


    Stephanie recently posted Three Weeks!.

  173. Tropical aquarium pump and heater servicing unit. Complete with replacement fish transport units.

  174. This vehicle is hoarding a truckload of foreplay! Ever gone down a water slide when it’s not wet? Yeah. Moisture IS important.

    A paperback version of your book would be much easier on my carpal tunnel thingy (actually, it was just my thumb that hurt, but I don’t know what to call that. Except for “Sore Thumb Thingy”)

  175. Pick me! pick me!

  176. Oh it’s totally got to be a vagina. Totally.

    Marci recently posted happy love day.

  177. I am going to go with hot tub repair man, because that is the only thing besides vagina that could be described as hot and wet.

    But on a side note I would stay away from that truck because it looks like something you would enter and never get out of…

  178. I would say a mobile burrito mobile!
    Would love a copy of your book :) Long time reader first time commenter

  179. Um, OBVIOUSLY it’s a repair truck for your personal rainforest habitat. I mean DUH, doesn’t everyone have one in their house?

  180. It’s totally vagina.

    Kristi recently posted Gift card Monday..

  181. 181
    Wendi Thompson

    No! No! It’s a hooker’s mouth!! All about good business!

  182. Just saying hi! I have the hardcover, so if you pick me, please pass the softcover on to the next name out of the hat. Thanks!

  183. What if it’s a maintenance company for sauna/greenhouse combos? Those would definitely benefit from fulltime heat and moisture.

    *sigh* Pimp maintenance is so much more likely. I really can’t imagine what else it could be.

  184. I totally want a copy. I have plans to buy it, but it you want to send me one, I will still buy it and give it to someone….

  185. I don’t want to think about what IT is… whatever it is, it can’t be good.

    I also don’t want to think about those poor book orphans looking through rainy windows dreaming of a book parent dropping by and taking them to a beautiful new house with pets to snuggle up against and a pool to lounge by..

  186. Here’s the thing. If you pick me, I’ll totally rip the cover off just to make the book seem more gangster than it already is. And then, I’ll write the phrase “WE MAKE SURE IT STAYS HOT AND WET” on the cover. To make people wonder what the hell is wrong with me.
    Because that’s where I get my jollies.

    Anna Vaughan recently posted That moment when....

  187. Maybe it’s a hot guy in your shower??? wait, i don’t want one of those! But I do want your book..of…awesomeness.

  188. I totally was thinking vagina, too. That has to be intentional misdirect, right? Also, I want it!

    Julia recently posted Why We Shouldn't Go Out, or Happy Valentine's Day.

  189. I really need/want the paperback so I can read the new chapter. Then I can loan it to others.
    And it pretty much has to be a vagina.

  190. 1. I’m pretty sure the truck is part of an operation that cares for in-home jungles while you are out of town. I always wanted to have a jungle in my house but my frequent travel has made it impossible.
    2. I would really enjoy that double covered paperback!

  191. I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must have the paperback to complete my collection.

    Ashleigh recently posted End of an era... Or a world....

  192. thank you! now i am thinking of what ELSE would be hot and wet. jeez. and if that IS a pimp mobile it’s like no other i have ever seen. tricky! i already have your book – signed by you! but i would LOVE another to give away to someone i know will love it as much as i do. :D

    monica recently posted I'd rather say "I love you" with clean undies, but that's probably just me..

  193. Is it sauna repair?

    With the wife getting hot flashes, I am no longer certain that “hot and wet” are good things.

    Wilhelm Arcturus recently posted Winnowing Down My Soviet Heavies.

  194. Maybe it’s wet burritos?? We call them XXX burritos at my house! lol

    I would LOVE your book. It’s on my wish list :)

    Susan recently posted Why I LOVE My Life.

  195. No pressure, but if you choose us we can give it away on our blog since we both actually already own our own copies!! :)

    thedoseofreality recently posted Who’s That Crazy Faced Baby?.

  196. I would LOVE a copy! My sister has read it and laughed her butt off! Now its my turn to lose some butt!

  197. Vagina, or evil weather-control masterminds. Either one

  198. I need the new book because I loaned my copy and it’s still floating around being loved by all, I’ll never get it back and I need something…I get get out of my own way and need an anxiety savior. Can’t get out of my own way. <3

    Amanda recently posted The Smell of Victory....

  199. No, it’s never vagina. It’s probably Lupus.

  200. “It” HAS to be Vagina, but what would you need a service truck for a vagina? Confusion at it’s finest. And I’d love the paperback! I already own the hardcover; I’ve leant it to tons of friends and family. (my sister currently has it and laughed her ass off) I need the paperback for the extra cover and extra chapters!

    Courtney recently posted Do It If You Want.

  201. It’s a mobile steam room. Or vagina.

    Ms Burrows recently posted Homeschooling: Time for Art.

  202. Unmarked white semi-armored vehicle? There’s definitely no way there’s anything but equipment for filming some really dangerous porn in there.

  203. I would so wine, dine, and….date this paperback copy. I am literally willing to cheat on my kindle version of the book. There….I said it.

    Nickie recently posted To Kitten or Not To Kitten?.

  204. me me me me?

  205. Maybe a sauna repair service? Or the back of the truck is actually a mobile sauna… for your vagina. ?
    I could use a good read. Plus, you should have pity on me because I have poison oak all over my body and I am completely high on prednisone that I kept from my old dead dog. It specifically said “For animal use only.” I still feel itchy. What does that mean? I hope he doesn’t haunt me for taking all his drugs. I don’t think he would, but you never know.

  206. Googling that as a slogan or phrase leads one straight here! Nothing else comes up which considering the size of the internet is pretty amazing.

    I would like the book though. I only have the Kindle version.

  207. Yes, I do need the paperback version, because I loaned the hardcover to a coworker and I haven’t fucking gotten it back. Just knowing I own it isn’t enough. I need one in my posession AT ALL TIMES.

  208. Hot tubs! That’s got to be it.

    Ms Burrows recently posted Homeschooling: Time for Art.

  209. I would love to have the book. I am anxious to read the extra chapter!!!!!

  210. Fresh vagina!

  211. The extra cover that can be pulled off is like when Tom Cruise pulls off his face, and you realize it’s just a mask and that underneath, it’s really an old woman, but then the old woman pulls off her face and it’s really Tom Cruise.

    When I Blink recently posted Fashion Is Taking Women Down.

  212. What about a mobile Steam Room?

  213. I’m sure what It is. I used to have It, but then they changed what It is. Now what I have isn’t It and what is It seems weird and scary to me!

    Ok… just kidding (any reason to use a Simpsons quote). I actually never had It in the first place. Also, I jappen to like weird. It’s normal that scares me.

    TechyDad recently posted The Pet Persuasion Paper.

  214. 214
    Jessica Lowry

    ME ME ME. Choose Me!

  215. I’m speechless – which really says a lot – no clue how that works (or what “it” really is).
    Paperback would be awesome since it has the extra chapter and now we learn an extra cover win/win! If I get it that makes it a win/win/win heehee!

  216. Is it ok if I stalk you? No? Oh well. Can I win your book then?

  217. It looks like an animal control truck to me. But hot and wet animals would be bad….

    BeccaV recently posted A quick getaway.

  218. 218
    Keely Tolbert

    Mud for wrestling – mobile wrestling van – duh! ;)

  219. It reminds me of the air conditioning company here that has billboards of a woman who looks mid-orgasm and the words, “Your wife is hot” next to it.

    Brooke recently posted I Blog Without Pants.

  220. I’ve already purchased….four? …of your book in hardcopy for myself and close friends, an electronic copy, and the audiobook. The paperback would be an excellent addition to my collection. Just sayin’ ;)

  221. i’m too tired and depressed to come up with something witty for what that tagline means. but it if is a vagina truck, i’d like their number. i’ve been off my game for months. probably the depression.

    Simone recently posted Does a title entitle you to act like a chump?.

  222. I would totally Google that, but I’m at work and don’t want to get fired.

  223. Vagina does make the most sense really…or maybe a water heater? Sauna repair man? Hmmm

    I want the book!! :)

  224. 2 covers?!? That is awesome! Sign me up!

  225. hot and wet undergarmets?

  226. MEEEEEEE!!! I NEED it!! Also, that company may want to up their signage budget.

    Gin recently posted This One Time, At Brunch.

  227. Gotta say, that is some serious storage space for all the…tools.

    Kelley Metzger recently posted Pin it and Do it! February Edition.

  228. I’m going for Plumbing and HVAC technician, only because traveling medical doctors specializing in using pelvic massage to relieve hysteria don’t exist (anymore).

    And yes, I want the book.

  229. I would LOVE to have that book! I have the hardcover already, but I want the paperback just for the new chapter!

  230. I am totally forwarding this photo to my husband. He’ll have a field day with that tag line. lol
    I would LOVE a copy of your book!

  231. An extra chapter *and* and extra cover? Awesome!

  232. I would love the book because my life is bereft of meaningful activity and my dad said he would give half his kingdom to anyone who could make me laugh.
    Not that I’m lobbying.

    Enjoy this awesome video that I had no hand in:

    Otherkin recently posted Endless feedback loops and oneirological exorcisms.

  233. I borrowed the hard cover from the library cause I’m too poor to buy it. I’d love to reread it and keep the paperback version.

  234. Would love the book.

  235. 235

    Haha! <3 can't wait to read the extra chapter!

  236. No phone number on the truck? Not knowing what it’s advertising is gonna drive me crazy….

    Natalie recently posted I Want To Lose Weight With The Shakelee 180 Diet Plan.

  237. And my plumber just uses a regular truck! I want a plumber that makes the neighbors wonder what the, what??
    And of course, I want the book:)

  238. I agree it’s a Va jj

  239. Want!

  240. totally vagina. I WANT A BOOK!

  241. If it is vagina, may I have the number? Totally asking for a friend.

  242. I would love to win a copy of your new paperback. It will be
    the little sister to my hardcover copy!

  243. Totally vagina.

  244. I never read but i would totally read this book.

  245. totally vagina….. :P

  246. The human body processes warm or hot water better than cold :)

    Tayet recently posted Panda's Eyes.

  247. I have the hardcover edition, but I REALLY need to know what’s in the extra chapter. I lie awake at night wondering . . .

  248. Maybe it’s mobile animal rendering?

    I would love a paperback copy of your book. I want to make it into a movie. And by “make it into a movie” I mean “rub it in to the people who haven’t read that new chapter”.


  249. PICK ME! If I don’t win I will be buying, but it would be nice to feel lucky for a change.

  250. I peed my pants when I saw the slogan! Maybe that is what they mean.

  251. Please pick me.

    That’s the cleverest thing I could think of to say right now. Kind of pitiful, I know.

    Lovelyn recently posted Preparing for a Giant Asteroid to Hit the Earth Day.

  252. I kind of want to know if it is possible that your vagina gets cold, like on the inside? Who needs someone to keep their vagina hot? Maybe dead people?!? But then again, what the hell is this for? Weird. I clearly need your book, it might answer some of my questions about life.

  253. me me me!

  254. My guess is a mobile hand operated car washer. ????

  255. I already have the hardcover, but I would gift the paperback to my daughter. I got you to autograph the first one to both of us, but she can’t have it until I die, and she’s miffed about that. And she’s 17. So…yeah, you can see the danger. O_o <3 you, Jenny!

  256. Maybe it’s hot tub repair. But you never know. You could be right.

  257. Could it be the cow your got your arm stuck in?

    Stephen Battey recently posted Last night, my husband left me..

  258. I am thinking it has to be vagina~~ other than cocoa what would you want hot&wet?? I am so happy that you got the paperback version of the book. I got to see you when you came to GA. So ok, seeing you is a relative term~~I was actually plastered to the window listening to you read and hoping that no one would see me/look at me having a anxiety attack with all the people in that store. :)

  259. Driver better have a hot uniform to support that claim.

  260. I would love a copy!

    On a completely random note, I spent the weekend in bed with strep, and watched the first two seasons of Doctor Who. Now I’m completely addicted, so thanks for that.

  261. Swimming pool repair? Home delivery wash cloth service? Pulled pork sandwiches?

    But most likely vagina repair.

  262. Sometimes I have to avoid your blog so as not to suffer from pangs of hero-worship.
    True story. So what.

  263. pick me… pick me!!!! I have hardback with your signature when I went to your book signing at Powells bookstore, Oregon, and kindle version also. I’d love to have paperback.

  264. That’s totally a truck carrying male strippers! :) Got to get the book! Congrats again! You are an inspiration for so many.

    Crystal recently posted Naked Actresses You Don’t Need to Envy.

  265. I would love this!!! And I agree, they are totally talking about a vagina.

  266. I would love a copy of your book. I already have the hardcover, but it totally needs a companion!

  267. I think it’s soup.

  268. I wouldn’t have thought vagina but now that you’ve put the idea of it being a vagina out there I can’t imagine what else it could be. Hot tub maybe….water heater…maybe…but why would it have to be an unmarked van if that was the case? Maybe undercover secret organ transplants….

    Nope, just vagina.

  269. I always thought plumbers were akin to naughtyness. My husband always refers to “laying the pipes” in his sexy voice, so same same.

    Czaja! recently posted This is NOT a Valentine’s Day Post, even though it’s being posted on Valentine’s day..

  270. I want the book… not because I need the book… I already have the hardback edition… but I want the book so I can leave it for some completely unsuspecting soul to stumble upon, and sit down and start reading, and totally fall in love with your weirdness, and realize that they’re not the only weirdo in the world… every weirdo out there should have that realization… and the world would be a much happier place for all of us.

    (So I just re-read that paragraph/run-on mess and realized that I need to cut back on the coffee… or drink more… it’s hard to tell.)

    Stay weird Jenny.

  271. I bought the book for my friend, but not for myself. I love you. Pick me.

    Also, I suspect that truck is a traveling Hell. Hell is most certainly hot and wet. That truck is Hell on Wheels.

  272. besides, it’s almost my birthday! What an awesome birthday present that would be. Just don’t ask how old.

  273. So, once upon a time, I was a public defense attorney and I had the following conversation with a client who was charged with prostitution:

    Me: So, if you were “just going to massage him,” why did you have condoms with you?
    Her: Oh, well, we massage THAT MUSCLE, too.
    Me: Really?
    Her: Oh, yes.
    Me: I don’t know if that will go over with a jury, because, where I come from, we call that a “hand job.”

    That truck totally looks like something one of my former clients would have come up with to run a portable prostitution service.

  274. It’s totally vagina. Oh, and I want the book!

  275. like random, (mostly) unmarked vans, i enjoy random selections to win stuff
    having the hardcover, i can’t pay for the extra chapter :)

  276. Can’t wait to see the extra stuff in the paperback!

  277. I googled it. Your blog is the only thing that comes up for “we keep it hot and wet.” So now, not only is that phrase forever part of my search history, but you are forever connected to vaginas. Not literally. Well, one literally, but not plural vaginas. I’m going to stop now. Please give me a book.

  278. Vagina. Absolutely.

  279. TOTALLY a vagina. Tho i don’t know how i feel about having a man in a white truck with the emblazoned on the back coming to, uh, service. Me. Or something.

    Yay book!!!

  280. I neeeeed your book. It’s much more than a want.
    How about we trade? You give me your book (bc I’m broke) and I’ll make you some art?

    Jen recently posted Canvas.

  281. I want the book! I also want you to write a recap of your Dallas booksigning. How come you hate us?

  282. I want a copy! :D

  283. Before I saw the writing on the truck, I totally went “my vet has a truck like that” and then I saw the rather suggestive slogan and twitched so hard I have a neck-ache. I really don’t want to know what my vet is keeping hot and wet. Although MY vet isn’t in Texas, so maybe it’s just a weird Texas vet.

  284. I’m sorry, but I just don’t even want my vagina to stay hot and wet.

  285. Just wanted to surface to say hi, apologize for not being as dutiful a fan in the last year as I should have been (Austin apparently has placed dampeners on my world perception), and to say that your book is so awesome that whomever hasn’t read it yet needs to… yay super-speshal paperback version with two covers! Actually no… in light of your vagina truck issues today, they more strike me as literary labia for a textual funhole… that everybody has held… you know what, now this metaphor is disturbing me.

    Yay book!

    Kella recently posted Today’s Facebook Frivolity: 12-2-12.

  286. Unsold coverless books get thrown in the garbage/recycling. I used to work in a bookstore, and while this pains me some, when it’s 8000 romance novels, not as much

  287. Love your blog! Just got out of a 3 week coma and I’m recovering. Some new reading material would be lovely! Plus with time on my hands with my recovery I can push your book :) lol.

  288. Here’s the secret to what they do…. they have sad-eyed book store employees rip the outer covers off, trash the rest of the book, and then send in the covers for credit. I know this because I used to be one of those despondent, woebegone people. It’s wrong to make book lovers destroy that which they love! And the B. Dalton’s I worked at was next to a Filipino grocer, and we shared the dumpster. So then those poor books got covered with fish goo. So very brutal!

  289. obviously it’s a mobile sauna

  290. Love your blog and hope I can score the book giveaway!

  291. It’s about time someone created a mobile vagina service. I’ve complained about needed one of those many years ago.

  292. Pick me! I’m way fun!

    Teresa recently posted Week 1: Take off that Ridiculous Man Suit.

  293. I tried to Google the tagline but it just gave me a whole bunch of links back to your blog, so obviously you’re the most important link on the internet now. Given the unbreakable glass look of the back doors, whatever it’s trying to keep hot and wet is also big and strong, so maybe a portable whale-washing truck? :)

  294. 294
    Chelsea Brimer

    I already have a hard cover copy of your book AND the audio book, but holy balls do I want a copy of the paperback, too!!!!!!!

    Perhaps it is an alligator truck. You know, for all your alligator transportation needs. They do need to stay warm, after all, and I hear they prefer wetness. Or maybe there’s an entire rainforest frog ecosystem in there. And then, when the newness has worn off your child’s exotic pet, these people come by and pick it up, and as they leave you can assure your kid that, yes, they WILL keep Mr. Ribbit both warm AND wet — it says so right there on the truck.

  295. Two covers? Is that supposed to be like extra protection or something? Because two covers pretty much kills all stimulation…

    Leora Burnett recently posted Chun Li Inspired Corset, Size 30 by LandLCorsetStore.

  296. I’m glad I didn’t see that out driving, because I’d laugh myself into a ditch.

  297. 297
    Andrea in Kansas

    What’s the non- Jesus fish on the right bumper area say?

  298. I would LOVE to read your book! Pretty please, with-a-cherry-on-top, please pick me!

  299. I think it would have to be a hot tub maintenance/repair company.

    I can’t wait to see the book!

  300. The thought of some strange truck arriving to make my vagina hot and wet is so totally disturbing that I have to go with coffee service truck. Yes, that must be it. Oh and I would love the book to make all my friends uber-jealous.

  301. Hot and Wet…
    It’s either a vagina or maybe some kind of hot tub repairman? Or maybe he’s a hot tub time machine repairman who makes sure everything is in proper working order so you can go back in time and get vagina? Yeah, and that could be why there’s no phone number or other signage because anyone with a time machine would want to keep it pretty hush hush, I’d imagine. Pus, they’d totally want it to look like a hot tub so nobody suspected anything, so by keeping it hot and wet, that guy is really just helping you create a big time machine coverup.

    Or he’s delivering soup. Possibly tea.

    …That’s all I’ve got.

    Nita recently posted House Guests.

  302. how could it be anything BUT vagina? :-)
    PS – I would love a book!!!

  303. Old tour bus for the band 112. Once again, Wikipedia comes to the rescue: “Hot & Wet is the fourth studio album by R&B group 112. The album followed the successful Part III album (which featured the hit single “Peaches & Cream”), with the club tracks “Na Na Na Na” and “Hot & Wet” which was produced by Stevie J.” I’ll let you look up the lyrics yourself.

  304. I want a free copy of your paperback because I’m too cheap to buy the same twice!

  305. Yay for paperback books!! :) And that’s by far the sketchiest truck I’ve ever seen in my life.

    Megan recently posted Homemade Oatmeal Granola Bars.

  306. I WANT. You sold me at “it has another cover.”

    Also, I would like another chapter.

    Also, if you pick me, I promise to give my current copy to a poor, economically disadvantaged child.

    Emily recently posted I promise, dogs and Ethiopian children have nothing to do with each other.

  307. I would love to have this paperback edition. I already own the hardcover, so if it comes down to me and someone who doesn’t have one at all…I’d be cool with them getting it. Either way, loved the book…can’t wait to get the paperback, I need that extra chapter! :)
    Thank you for your consideration :)

  308. It’s totally vagina. Or hot tub. Which, for really large vaginas and really small hot tubs, might be the same thing.

    Jami recently posted Going for a record.

  309. I need to win this book so I can have joy in my life. No pressure or anything. Just that, ya know, I don’t want my sadness to be on your conscience. I’m just looking out for you.

    Lily recently posted Wanted: breadcrumbs.

  310. totally can’t wait to read this book… I WANT IT!!!

  311. I am all over the menopause mobile idea

  312. i feel like it’s houston weather. it’s houston weather, isn’t it? i didn’t know they had a truck for that….

  313. Pick me, pick me!

  314. I love love love your book!!!!! And I totally need a paperback copy to carry in my purse!!

  315. It HAS got to be Vagina’s…that or some lame pool/hot tub cleaning biz, which would be LAME.

  316. It’s totally a hot, wet vagina. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

  317. Vagina.

  318. Ive always thought those “Slippery When Wet” signs to be way more vagina appropriate…

  319. please, please, please go follow that truck, or send Victor, because I need to know what thats all about!!!

  320. I have the kindle edition and the hard-cover, I need the paperback to complete the set! ;-) (And, yes, it’s totally vajay-jay. Everything is always vajay-jay.)

  321. I have the hard cover but I want the paperback too! I can’t wait to meet you in St. Louis! I think that was a movie, but I didn’t even pre-plan saying it that way. I promise not to be this creepy when we finally meet. And go out to dinner. And you come back to my house in my white unmarked van with me and we just laugh and laugh because we realize we’re soul mates and new BFFs.

    Hannah recently posted The Slippery Slope.

  322. I would love to get your book! No clue what that truck is servicing.

  323. I am totally voting for “vagina” although I am damn sure I wouldn’t want one that big. That would require “vaginal rejuvenation” and THAT is another matter entirely.

    Oh, and I want the book…not for me, but for my sister so I can be cheap and send it to her for her birthday. I already shelled out for the hardcover :)

    Christina Matyas Tucker recently posted Pope for a day...SWEET, where do I sign up???.

  324. I can’t believe you didn’t go peek in the windows of the van to find out what was hot and wet…

    And I totally want the extra-chapter-included paperback! If I don’t win I may have to randomly steal the extra chapter from a local bookstore and tape it into my hardcover copy…

  325. Maybe it is the truck of a hot tub repair service?

  326. Every time I laugh I pee a little. Your book has me doing major laundry. Your awesome.

    sandy recently posted Roommate Saga Continued…….

  327. It’s totally a vagina delivery service.

    GK Adams recently posted Glasses! I Need ‘Em!.

  328. Oh it’s for SURE a vagina!! P.S.: send *me* your book. :D

    Michelle recently posted Dinner Conversations.

  329. I totally want it. With an autograph. I’m selfish like that.

    Carmen recently posted I'm a private dancer..

  330. If I made an anatomically correct vagina necklace with that phrase on it, would you wear it? Placing bets now….

    Rachel recently posted Anatomical Forever Heart Pendant Copper, Stamped by AnatomicalElement.

  331. A new chapter!!! OMG!!! I HAVE to have it!!!

  332. It’s totally vagina :D

    oh man!

    I’m due to have another baby in just over a month, I could totally use something hilarious to get me through the bleary hours up alone while everyone else in the house gets to sleep because I have a critter on my boob. Just sayin’. ;)

  333. 333
    Cynthia Jokela

    Is there a sauna in the truck? Humidity control for the South? Creature from the Black Lagoon? It can’t be a giant vagina because male Republican Congressmen would have shut this thing down ASAP or accused it of advertising itself for a legitimate rape.

    I’d love the book, but I can afford it. Unless you sign it. Then I want it. But I’ll live if I don’t get it.

  334. Perhaps it’s mobile porn for women? Or a vagina.
    I’d love a copy of your book.

  335. Totally vagina!
    I want a book!!!!

  336. I <3 vaginas ;) in other news, I've already preordered your book, but you should still pick me because I'll share it with my friends :-)

  337. It can only be vagina.

  338. I googled it to see if it would show up as someone’s business motto and we could get to the bottom of this. There were exactly two results, and both were for this post. Now I don’t know the answer AND I have to clear my search history!

  339. Pick me!

    Bonnie recently posted Breakfast Club.

  340. Don’t you dare give the book to me! I’m ticket #33 at Anderson’s in Naperville to come see you. I want you to look up from the cozy table, say “You’re number #33…I totally remember your post.” Because you have no intention of remembering ticket #33, but now, against your will, you find yourself saying, “Naperville. Ticket #33.”*

    *Because I can read your mind.

  341. A free copy of your book would make me hot and wet. But I don’t think I would put it on my vehicle.

  342. I used to work at the place where they ripped the covers off the unsold books and then sent them back to the publisher. It made me sad to go back to the cover ripping off room and I avoided it as much as possible. Unless I wanted something free to read, then I’d dig one out of the big discard box, but very carefully, because one of the guys who worked back there had stomach issues and would sometimes barf in the discard box. I found this out the hard way. Sad, but true story.

  343. 343
    Eric Wesselius

    Please enter my name for this book. I would love to have a copy!

  344. Would book orphanages be libraries? Or used book stores?

    It’s too cold for them to look through rainy windows up here…frozen tundra blizzard from hell windows, maybe.

    Jess recently posted Yes Medusa, my hair IS trying to kill me (or: You won't like it when it's ANGRY).

  345. Definitely vaginas.

    I can has book, please? :)

  346. I have no idea about the truck, but I do know about the unused books. Sort of. I work as a magazine vendor and at some stores I also stock books. Not cool books like yours, but much less interesting romance or suspense novels. The unsold items that I send back get shredded and recycled.

  347. Of course it’s vagina! Maybe I’ll be able to get you to sign my newly won book when you come to Louisville!

  348. I have no idea what that could be, so I’m jumping on the vagina bandwagon. (On a totally self-centered bandwagon, pick me! Pick me!)

  349. Ive read the book and its the funniest thing ive ever read! I giggled so much I cried and my husband couldn’t figure out what the hell was wrong with me!

  350. I was at the Long Beach Antique Market last weekend, and one of the booths there had two giant metal chickens for sale. At first I didn’t see any price tags, so I started to ask, “How much do you want for Beoncé?” But then I realized the two guys working the booth probably wouldn’t what I was talking about. Then I thought they probably wonder why they’ve started selling so many giant metal chickens (mostly they just sold Mexican pottery). And they probably wonder why all the gringos have started calling chicken “Beoncé.”

    (Oh, btw, a Beoncé about the size of a small child was $55.)

    DogsDontPurr recently posted Number 5.

  351. I have the e-version and laughed until I cried reading it…I totally want to read the extra chapter…and yes, it has to be vagina

  352. Totally vagina – can’t be anything else.

  353. In my chubby dreams, it’s a Nacho Cheese Delivery Truck.

    FFW recently posted V-Day Musings.

  354. Maybe it’s for tropical fish service? I don’t know. Send me a book! ;-)

  355. I want a signed paperback book :)

  356. Maybe it’s a Rotisserie Chicken truck, we all know everyone hates dry chicken.

    Nena recently posted Lymph Node Buddy.

  357. I totally need this book! If you gave it to me you would be saving my husband from being badgered until he goes out and gets me a copy. Okay more like saving me from having to badger him until I have recovered enough to go to the book store to get a copy.

  358. …Which part of this article is “pimp”?! Seems like both…!

    Claire J recently posted Dream Catcher.

  359. No…Pick Meeeee!

    The truck…it’s for treadmills…for sweaty workouts…

  360. Moist delivery pizza… it’s sweeping the nation! Vagina pizza?

    Caroline Burau recently posted “When I legislate about you, I touch myself.”.

  361. A soup delivery service?

  362. Perhaps this is a clue? Notice this person’s headline on yelp:

    Also note that his photos are all of water heaters, and his website is listed as .

  363. I’d love a chance to get the book!!! I love reading your stuff! :)

  364. 364
    ashley dewey

    Would love the paper back! Bought the hard cover but dying to see what other crazy stories are added!

  365. I pretty much need to win the book, because I bought the kindle edition when it first came out and those pages don’t smell quite as fresh anymore as I’m sure the paperback pages do.

  366. I don’t even know what to do with that picture. Maybe it’s a service for serial killers who are into necrophilia? I mean, it could be, it’s an unmarked van with the exception of the slogan…..

  367. You are so awesome!

  368. Totally a vagina. I need the book with 2 covers so it can flash my hard back book that I own like a peeping Tom.

  369. Need to win this book for my mother in law who is having back surgery tomorrow to cheer her up while she recovers please please please…..also I would like to borrow it from her to read I

  370. Has anyone figured out what they do yet? Other than keeping it hot and wet, obviously!

  371. would LOVE a copy of the paperback – would start my paperback stock of books to give to friends (since I’ve been gifting the hardcover version since it was released). love ya!

  372. Iits a portable sauna, but they can’t advertise on the side, or you’d know there were naked people inside. Or a vagina. Probably a vagina.

  373. 373
    Elizabeth Howell

    It completely means vaginas. Now if only the truck had their number on the outside. I could use a house call…

  374. Swamp cleaning service…the darwin fish totally gives it away.

  375. I love you. And you’re right, it has to be vagina.

  376. So if there’s no company name & phone #, how do you contact them to help you keep whatever it is, hot & wet?

  377. 377
    Char Vanderweel

    Pick me, Pick me!!! I can’t wait to get my hands on that extra chapter I keep hearing about!!!

    Oh and I think the truck is a hot-tub party on wheels. Perhaps there is a full-on hot-tub party going on behind those closed doors? Kind of like those game trucks? or perhaps not… You’re probably right ‘its’ a vagina…

  378. Whatever that truck is for, send it my way, because that sounds hella fun!

  379. Definitely vagina. But, like some other commenters… I’m more concerned about how vaginas relate to the already far too rapey (yeah, that’s an adjective now) looking prisoner vessel. I mean. Unless it’s like ANIMAL vaginas and they’re breeding them and there’s a pet brothel inside. Which somehow seems better and worse all at the same time. Closed off for privacy but secure so your pets don’t run away to get home before their wives notice they’re gone.

    Anyway. Now that THAT nugget of confusion has firmly cemented itself in my brain… I’d like to volunteer myself for the magical multicover (or single cover, or no cover- but preferably at least single cover) of the paperback version of your book! My hardcover version is floating around a house full of my friends. I took it over there one night and was all “I’ve brought a reading to share over dinner” which they thought was weird but went along with. Three hours later I was upset I didn’t bring my reading glasses because my eyes got too tired to read to them anymore. I had to leave the book behind for them to finish individually. I fear for it’s recovery.

  380. Vagina is the only logical choice

  381. You must stalk that truck and find out just exactly what it is! I could be one of those stripper cleaning services, or a coffee company that makes house calls. I think I need a nap.

  382. I can haz paperbackz? KTHXBAI!

  383. Soup? Definitely want hot, wet soup. But that’s an awfully big truck for soup. And you know, you get that not-so-fresh feeling if your vajayjay gets too hot and wet. I’m pretty sure that leads to fungus in the wrong conditions.

    Allison recently posted Strawberry Blonde.

  384. If you google hot and wet and truck you get a bunch of bikini car wash links. Or car wash porn.
    I also think it is for vagina repair.

  385. It’s a mobile Minnesota summer! You know you want to pick me simply because I’m made of awesome.

  386. My comment is that it is TOTALLY vagina!

  387. I want it! My hardback copy had an unfortunate accident with swamp water (aka shit and dead body water) in Louisiana on my honeymoon. On the plus side, I got to see quite a few Hamlet von Schnitzel’s running around.

  388. Pick me!

  389. Obviously, it’s soup! Get your minds out of the gutter, people!

  390. Vagina or professional turkey baster…

  391. Oh, you should totally pick me! I read your book and laughed so hard I peed a little. (TMI?) My daughter wanted to know why I was laughing so she read then SHE laughed. (but didn’t pee her pants because she’s only 18 and hasn’t had any children so she doesn’t have any trouble DOWN THERE like I do). Then she stayed up nearly all night long reading every one of your blog posts out loud to me.

  392. 392
    Danielle Petunia

    <3 Hot and Wet….. Wait… I got distracted….

  393. Noodles. Okay, maybe vagina and noodles. I need the book because if I make my crazy chicken sister return mine which I lent her months ago she may get even stabbier. I love her but I am not an idiot. Yet.

  394. Vaginas R Us.
    Snake Vagina (wait, that just takes me to another inappropriate place…)
    Stanley Vagina Steamer

    Dawn L. recently posted Two Christmases and a Homecoming.

  395. Obviously it has to be a vagina. But my question is: why would you need a big truck? To hold the millions of dildos? Or is there an entire football team in there, all sweaty and flexing? (ew)

    Doug recently posted Winter Shine.

  396. Whatever it is, I wouldn’t mind a visit, and the AWESOME book!

  397. Was there a phone number? If you want “it” hot and wet, how are you supposed to reach them? Or do they randomly go door to door to make sure “it” is hot and wet?

    Y recently posted Obama is a reader.

  398. I bet it’s a hot tub repairman. Can’t you just picture his business cards? The cartoon captions would be so worth it. “I keep it hot and wet so you can to!”

  399. and you’re totally now the number one result when you google that term :)

  400. It has to be vagina…..doesn’t it??

  401. maybe a diaper service… ew.

    Liz recently posted Burps, Farts & Boogers.

  402. Kisses? Maybe it’s a mobile kissing seminar? I like hot wet kisses … just sayin’

  403. I want a book…. because any book that is THAT ready to party is a book I NEED!

    Queen Of All Things Good recently posted Marshmallow Math or... Divide By Pi For The Win!.

  404. I don’t know. It has a Jesus Fish.

    So it must be something holy. Like, instead of “vaginas”, it’s “that thing down there.”

    jasdye recently posted Compromise IS American, And That's the Problem.

  405. Maybe it’s Fabio’s new motorhome…but the “we” stumps me because I thought Fabio works alone. On another note, I would LOVE to get your paperback because I bought a hardcopy when you came to L.A. and then I met this woman who was going to taxidermy school so I gave her my copy. Now she’s reading and laughing while stuffing dead stuff and I’m bookless.

    Annie recently posted Guest Post.

  406. The truck could be hauling generic soup. Meals on Wheels sort of neighborhood help program. And you had me at Helmot Von Scnitzel. Hope you’re feeling better from your doctor visit the other day.

  407. Would love to win a copy! I’m still buying one, though. :-)

    Sheri | Really Most Sincerely recently posted A Room of One’s Own.

  408. If it’s not vagina, I don’t know WHAT is.

  409. Oh, I would LOVE it!

  410. Now all they need to do is paint the truck pink and we’d know for sure. But yeah, totes vagina help. What exactly they do…

  411. Oh, please pick me for the book!

    PS: Totally vagina. It HAS to be vagina, there are no other options (except maybe soup). But really, it’s vagina.

  412. I can’t believe YOU didn’t go ask. Seriously. GO. ASK.
    “You’re talking about VAGINAS, RIGHT?”
    Who couldn’t answer a question like that?

    DevilsHeaven recently posted Not What I Expected.

  413. Well, everything needs maintenance. That’s all I’m saying.

  414. MAAAAAYBE its a pool service company. I mean MOST people want their pools warm…shit i just totally effed up explanation. Nobody wants a hot pool, just a warm pool. Back to the drawing board.

  415. Yes please!! Pick me!!

    And a vagina plumber sounds a bit gross. And painful.

  416. 416
    Justin Schneider

    So does it help if you leave the most random comment? Because the number next to this comment is pretty random, mathematically speaking.

  417. It’s a street food truck. They make food to sell on the streets of down town. They have them all over the place when I go downtown.

  418. A burrito truck – delivering hot, wet burritos!

    LOVE your book – I only have it on my e-reader which means I can’t share it with my homies. I know they should buy their own, but how cool if I said I’d lend them my copy, which was *your* copy?!? :)

  419. I really can’t think of a better answer than yours as to what that truck helps keep hot and wet.

    And from working in a bookstore I can tell you that paperback books’ covers get sliced off and sent back to the publisher, while the coverless book body is either recycled or tossed in the trash. An orphanage would be MUCH better for those books.

    Pattie recently posted And Bajingo Was Its Name-O.

  420. Oh, I’ve totally seen these before. These are remote Raves. Packed to the gills with bubble machines, glow sticks and Slip-n-Slides for your Raver-on-the-Go. Just pack you and a dozen of your closest friends in for a night of wet, hot awesomeness.

    Naturally, it wouldn’t have branding on the truck – you want to keep the Po-po off your scent.

  421. Go vaginas, go!
    crap, my boss just walked in on me as I typed. I better win this so I can give it to her to arrest the firing process.

    Mama and the City recently posted The Secret for Strong and Healthy Looking Nails.

  422. Maybe the truck is for hot tubs?

    Would love a copy of the two cover paperback :)

  423. I just found your AWESOME blog last week. Not sure why I didn’t know about it before. While randomly perusing your posts, I was madly trying to come up with reasons to tell my co-workers why I was “crying”. They were really tears from trying to laugh silently, I’m just glad i didn’t start snorting.

    Ashley recently posted New Pots.

  424. Jenny,

    I first read your book almost a year ago when my sister lent me her copy and directed me to your blog. At the time I was suffering though one of the most severe bouts of depression and anxiety that I’ve ever had and was preparing to take a hiatus from life as I knew it (my home and my husband) to stay with family 900 miles away while regulating to new meds and trying to take care of my then 18 month old. During that time your writing helped give me the courage and strength that I needed to begin to feel worthy enough to begin to care about myself and my health once again – to know that I wasn’t alone in what I was going through and that it was Ok to get help . I’ve shared your blog with others and have even given a copy of your book as a gift. Oddly enough, I don’t own a copy – but think I might need to treat myself to one of the new editions to celebrate this past year. THANK YOU so much for who you are and all that you have done for myself the many others you touch with your writing.

  425. 425
    Angela Wicentowich

    My mother “borrowed” my hard copy and doesn’t seem to want to return it! I would love a paperback copy.

  426. I would love the book! I do love the book… so really I would just like to own a copy!

    Also… hot tub repair guy?

  427. Does it not even have a phone number on it? Poor business practice, if it doesn’t. They could make the phone number just as intriguing.

  428. My guesses would run to: Septic tanks or saunas. Maybe hot tubs?
    Would love to win your book, thank you for the chance.
    Also, South American prehensile tailed porcupines make adorable sounds, even when they’re being cranky.

  429. I would love, love, love a copy of your book! Especially since I’m placing an order for 2 copies for 2 of my BFFs, whose birthdays are on March 5th! I love your website, cried hysterically as I read the post about the giant metal chickent, and can’t wait for more laughing-crying moments that you publish!

  430. Look, if you were running a mobile gynecological service, you’d want to be subtle about it, right? No giant cooch picture on the side or anything, just a little saucy tag line over the bumper.

  431. Can’t wait to read your book!

  432. I would love love love the book!
    I’m surrounded by the chronically negative… I think it may be the antidote!

  433. Pick me, pick me! :-)

  434. Heated fish tank? Because nobody likes dried fish. Except for people who want to eat dried fish, but those aren’t usually kept in tanks. Anyone who’s eating their pet fish are just wrong.

    Also? I totally want your book. I already have the hardcover, but i want the extra chapter and the extra cover!

  435. 435
    Lisa Higgins

    I figure it’s either a vagina or Florida. Or a vagina in Florida.

  436. Ready to party even without a cover!!

    Marcia McCord recently posted Archaeology Begins at Home.

  437. Ahahaha, I love the momentum of this thread. Hundreds of folks just saying “Um… VAGINA! Gimme free stuff!”

    adhesiveslipper recently posted The Nü52 Wishes Us All An Icky Valentine's Day!.

  438. I’d leerrrv a copy! Even if I don’t win, I’ll still buy it though :)

    Also, it’s totally vagina. Must be those two hot Draino plumbers from that sexy commercial… you know the one.

  439. Isn’t that a taxidermy truck?

    Socal Rachel recently posted Christmas Fun Run in Tutu's.

  440. I use to work next door to a bookstore and when they had books that did not sell they would rip off the covers and return the covers for a refund and trash the books in the dumpsters. I read and owned a whole lot of books when I was young with no covers on them.

    (Not to proud to dumpster dive for literature)

  441. I love your blog. So fun and interesting, you do have the
    Talent for writing.
    I just started to subscribe to your blog, I would love
    win the book!
    Thanks.for the chance. :*)

  442. Totally a tropical fish delivery service. It’s a growing industry.

  443. It’s totally vagina. Can I have your book?

  444. I will give your book a loving home. I will take it on walks and feed it every day. I will never put it in a vagina plumber’s truck.

  445. My vote goes for saunas… maybe saunas specifically for vaginas? I mean, they could all use a good steam cleaning. I have your book in hardback so if I win, I’ll read the bonus chapter and pass this book along to my BFF.

    Sonal recently posted My one and only Valentine's as a fiancee.

  446. 446
    Heather Greywolf

    Can I just state for the record that I LOVE the idea of a clandestine vagina repair service that requires reinforced glass windows on their truck? For god’s sake, what the hell do they DO back there that requires reinforced glass? Anonymity, I can understand. No one likes to advertise that their hoo-hah isn’t exactly in working order. But … unbreakable glass windows? Do they keep a pet velociraptor back there to help you deal with your arid frigidity issues?

  447. If “it” is water than doesn’t physics make sure it stays wet, with or without the interference of a plumber?

    Tarl recently posted Things That I’m Not Good At . . ..

  448. How much do you have to pay for a service like that!?!? because I’m TOTALLY paying it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  449. Most likely a vagina. Or possibly a sauna?

  450. We Make Sure it Stays Hot & Wet + a Jesus fish = WTF? x 1,000,000

    carol anne recently posted May All Your Days Be Circus Days.

  451. Hot Tub repair company? That’s the answer I came up with after thinking about it for a while… my first guess was obviously-vagina.

  452. I think you just found where all the fancy first-class-on-an-airplane hot towels come from! Or…vagina. That looks like a mobile porn set, actually, so I’m going to agree with you.

  453. Yikes. I hope it’s hot tubs…

  454. Vaginas. Definitely vaginas. I want this book even though I have the hardcover. I must read the extra chapter. :)

    Chelle818 recently posted Up at 4am.

  455. Clearly it’s a gigolo. Duh.

    (Also: would LOOOOVE the book – my husband and I loved your audiobook version!)

  456. Why is it that I want that sign to secretly put on my husband’s car? Yeah something wrong with me. and I would love a copy if I’m selected!!

    SoberJulie recently posted One Stitch At a Time – How Knitting Beat Addiction.

  457. I just spent three and a half hours at Urgent Care with my four kids under the age of 10. I used up all my wittiness to keeps the kiddos under control, namely using gems like, “knock knock?” ” who’s there?” “Your mom.” “Your mom who?” “No, literally, it’s your mom.” So you can see I obviously need your book … For sanity reasons.

  458. I want it!!

  459. May I please have a copy of your book?

    Megs recently posted Why Being An Adult Is Worse.

  460. I was thinking mobile porno filming truck – you know, they have all the ‘props’ and gallon buckets of lube and that cheesy porno music, and they go around filming ‘on location’, but they can’t really advertise what they do….I’m rambling, I don’t know where I’m going with this *LOL*

  461. 461
    Kathleen Lancaster

    Oh, COME ON PEOPLE!!! Why does it have to be vaginas?

    *I* say it’s Mobile Hot Yoga. Which is super-boring, so . . . yeah. Vaginas.

  462. 462
    Elizabeth Allen

    No idea on the riddle of the van lingo. Too bad I’m not still playing Everquest. I’m sure my guildies would be able to come up with a dozen different reasons for the text, though most of them would be X-rated or so bizarre that everyone else stopped typing on their keyboards for a few moments in a “WTF?!” response…

    Onto things I DO understand, a copy of the softcover edition would rock. I would actually be sending it to my ‘adopted’ soldier in Afghanistan, as I have the hard cover edition. Well, I’d read the new chapter first… THEN send it on. :)

    Thanks for the consideration and all the laughs!

  463. I have your hardcover, but since the paperback has an extra chapter I would totally love to get the paper version and read the new chapter…winning would save me some money. ;)

  464. 464
    Kimberli Nelson

    Of course I want it… But I just bought TWO copies of your paperback so my best friend & I can stalk you when you come to Naperville, IL. Did I say stalk?! I meant MEET. :)

  465. Steampunk vagina servicing. Now you get to guess what exactly a steampunk vagina is.

    Jen recently posted Made by Meadowcat: Custom Doggie Fleeces.

  466. I got a sweater for Christmas.
    What I really wanted was
    a screamer or a moaner.

    This pertains to nothing, but it came up when I googled the slogan from your truck.
    Love your book – I used to have a pet raccoon named Ralph who knew how to open screen doors and peanut butter jars.

  467. Definitely vagina… Or soup. Or soupy vagina. No, wait… Ew.

  468. It has to be vagina, no other explanation.

    Mexmom recently posted Love & Friendship.

  469. I am pretty sure getting a paperback copy of your book would cure my ruptured ear drum.

    That or antibiotics.

    Let’s find out! :-D

    Kelly recently posted Demotivational.

  470. It’s a wet bar!

    I bought a copy of your book and lent it to my daughter. I doubt I will ever see it again so I would really love a copy of the paperback.

  471. Definitely a vagina. Can I have the book now? I promise not to stalk you. Or I can if thats what you prefer. Really, whatever you want is fine with me.

  472. 472
    Sara Simpson

    I would love the 2 cover book!! You are soo funny!! And yes it must be a vagina!

  473. Worst pimp-mobile ever. Where’s the gold? Where’s the leopard print? Where’s the shady guy with the big hat?

  474. 474
    Boston Karen

    It’s the opposite of vagina; it’s hot dogs. Looks like a food truck to me ….

  475. It’s only logical that it’s vagina. What concerns me is that whatever they need to fix said vagina takes up that entire truck. Just how broken is this vagina that needs fixing?

  476. It’s either vagina or vagina. So either way, vagina.


  477. Well, clearly it’s a Dexter truck, so that focuses the possibilities. I’m going for the blades of an oscillating bone saw. Eeeewww.

  478. 478
    Alfredo Lorente

    Honestly, does it matter what it is they service? What I wanna know is how do I get myself into that sweet, sweet ride? And their business line…

    I’ll take the book if I can’t get the truck, tho’.

  479. I absolutely thought vagina first. But then again, who didn’t? Especially in this crowd.

  480. 480
    Shari Garber

    Pick me! Pick me! I bought two copies of your hard-cover book and you graciously autographed them for my Fun Sister and my friend MaryAlice. I need my own copy and two-cover paperback suits me just fine!

    Hot and wet. So many choices, most of which are naughty. Maybe they’re a 112 or Ludacris fan?

  481. Do I get a unicorn with the book?…

  482. I want it. That is all.

  483. I’m more worried that whatever it is is being kept hot and wet against it’s will.
    Very excited for the paperback version. I love your book.

  484. hmmm….an escort service dropping off at a bachelor party?
    In other news….I want the book. Me me me…pick me.

  485. I wonder: do authors sign nooks? I’m good with that, but maybe them, not so much. Better take my chance of winning the paperback and have something else, should you ever get near the sticks where I live. (honestly, I’d buy the paper copy if you actually did get out here two miles from where Christ lost his shoes)

  486. Its a food truck that also sells drinks :)

  487. That’s an awfully big truck for fixing vaginas! I am a little frightened to be honest. Congrats on the book. I have recommended it many times! Thanks for all the fun!

  488. Coffee catering? Prostitutes serving coffee to Secret Service guys?

  489. If you are right about the truck, then I want to see the inside. I envision red and pink fake fur oversized cushions, with velvet wallpaper. And maybe a margarita machine.

  490. I’m thinking they run wet t-shirt contests at bars. They keep them “HOT” and make sure the hot girls stay wet? I dunno … it is Texas, right?

    I would love the double-cover-extra-chapter-extra-special-early paperback version of your book! I might even share it and share the love. As long as no books are burned because I share it!

  491. Please pick me. :)

  492. I’d really love a free copy of your book, because I’ve been wanting a copy for forever but I can’t afford it. :-(

  493. I am confuzzled by the mirror on the back .. is that for looking at said vaginas that are hot and wet because they make sure they are?

    Amber recently posted Hope For The Weary Mom.

  494. I just googled “we make sure it stays hot and wet”. It wasn’t as interesting as I had hoped. Maybe that’s a good thing.

    A paperback copy would be fabulous because then I can stop lending out my hardcover! Congrats!!

  495. 495
    Michelle Bakota

    Are you going to keep us guessing as to what the second cover looks like?
    I want that book! I’ll die if I don’t know what it is.

  496. Totally a vagina service station. Why go out to get it serviced when they can come right to your door instead ;p And new version of the book, whoop!!

  497. If you say it’s a Vagina, then it’s a Vagina. Notice how I capitalized Vagina, it should be capitalized.

  498. Totally a vagina.

  499. I was thinking it was one of those portable BBQ trucks. Not that I’ve ever seen one in person. You want your BBQ ribs hot and wet, right? Moist, anyway?

  500. If you pick me, I promise to let all my friends borrow it after I read the added chapter (I already read it on my Kindle). But, I’ll only let them read like 1/3 of it so then they’ll be so enthralled they’ll have to go buy their own copy to find out what happens.

  501. 502
    Curtis Strak

    That would be the drunk tank they taxi sorority girls in from frat to frat.

  502. So I’m hoping I win the book, kinda….I’m really entering for my wife (who LOVES your stuff) so she would be totally stoked to get the book. That being said, the (kinda) part – My wife reads in bed while we are going to sleep and more often than not I fall asleep first – until I’m awakened by hysterical laughter – all the time – so thanks for that :)

    P.S. I dig your blog too.

    Take Care,

  503. It’s totally a vagina.

  504. Mobile Vag Van? Kinda like the dogwash guy that comes to the house? ROGER THAT!
    (Take note if the mirror placement in the back…whats THAT about?) :)

  505. Congratulations on finding the mobile pimp deliver service. You should win a prize. I hope I win the book. I have the hardcover and I gave 5 of them away as Christmas presents.

  506. At home vagina reconstruction? But then you’d think it would say “tight”, too.

  507. My cat already says I abuse and ignore him totally AT THE SAME TIME.

    And then he interferes with everything I do by resting his head in my elbow and looking at me with sad eyes.

    But that’s okay, because he still can’t read the e-book copy of your book I bought. So I totally need the paperback. For the cat!

  508. I would say just google the slogan, but on second thought….

  509. They are totally spying on your vagina to make sure that you keep getting the most up-to-date yet relevant vagina spam emails that you are constantly bombarded with! Hey, at least they don’t want to make sure it stays “cold and dry” Nobody likes cold, dry vagina!

  510. That’s so awesome!!!! I don’t know what I would do without your stories! I would LOVE to read your book!

  511. Maybe its a dim-sum delivery vehicle. And by dim-sum, I totally mean vagina…. And I imagine that when you call them, they answer the phone like Joey from Friends, all “How you doin’???” in that creepy way….
    I would love the paper back, ready to party book to round out my Bloggess collection!

  512. If I had to guess…a traveling porn star refresher truck. Because guy porn stars are creepy and the girls just aren’t that good at acting. Or so I’ve been told.

    Please send me the book and I will worship you even more from afar.

  513. BBQ vagina?

    I would MUCH rather have the book, please.

  514. I just really don’t want to think about the situations that might call for an in-home, undercover vageen repair service. But then again, keeping it hot and wet doesn’t indicate it needs repair, per se, just that it needs… warming up, or moistening. So it’s a heated lube delivery truck! Yes. That’s it.

    Fia recently posted Spanakopita.

  515. Totally vaginas.

  516. Since I am almost married it’s too late for him to run when I read/laugh at totally inappropriate things. I definitely need this book! And it SHOULD come with a unicorn.

    And I think that van is totally a vagina cleaning service.

  517. Of course it’s Vagina. Did you really have to ask?

  518. No idea, but I want the book!

  519. Maybe it’s for a hot tub…

  520. Okay.. I Googled that phrase… YOU are the only thing that comes up. Good enough for me. I want the paperback version, Jenny. No, really. I do. Please – make it so.


    not to be confused with Ciao… I’m just hungry…

    Diane recently posted Keeping the Faith.

  521. hot and wet? how ’bout apathetic and bitchy. yep, that would be me. until i get the book. then, while i won’t be hot and wet, i will at least be less hostile. maybe.

  522. I totally need this book!!!

  523. Out of the billions who want this free, I’m posting on the off xchance my luck is actually working and I’m picked. If not that’s okay my cheeks are use to the tears.

  524. i swear if i don’t get the book this time, i’ll stop procrastinating and go out and buy it. which i suppose isn’t a good incentive for you to pick me, but oh well.

  525. Hahahaha a vagina repairman!!!

    Maureen recently posted About Maureen.

  526. It’s obviously the new pope mobile.

  527. Would love a copy of the book!

  528. If it IS vaginas then I’m a little concerned about the mesh cage covering the windows…

  529. The doors on the back are slightly concerning…

  530. I want a paperback edition, so pretty! I love this book. le sighs of joy.

  531. Its a mobile vagina groomer!

  532. You are awesome. Can’t wait to see you in NY!

  533. I, too, Googled the phrase and can confirm you are the first–and only–3 entries that appear. Three cheers for search engine optimization!

  534. Since I don’t get to see you when you come to KC, I totally would love to win. I need a book to take to France! Did I mention I’m traveling with 21 high schoolers?! ;)

    And yes, it’s totally vagina. :)

  535. Could be ass. But that is definitely a hooker mobile. So it probably means either one.
    But that book would be fabulous , I may even leave it on a plane when I’m done.

  536. Its always about vaginas

  537. Maybe it’s a meals-on-wheels service. You know, old people can be crabby if their food isn’t hot…and if it’s dry they won’t be able to chew it with their dentures. If it IS for vaginas, I am terrified. Why is the truck so big? What would they need with all those compartments on the sides? How many tools do you…nevermind. And I’d like your book. I would like it even more if it got all in my face and called me a bitch with it’s dual covers.

    Adrienn recently posted Shit I've said to my kids..

  538. I totally need this! I bought the hardback and laughed my ass off throughout the whole book. I’m bummed I don’t get the extra chapter – would love to have this copy! Also, I’m SUPER excited to meet you in Dayton in March! :)

  539. Maybe its a mobile sauna! That way you can try and lose weight without actually doing anything! P.S. I really want that book!

  540. I adored the book and NEED a copy of this paper back . Enjoy every blog post and have shared the brilliance that is you through facebook to all my favorite people !

  541. If you send me the book, I’ll find out what the truck is all about…just sayin’. :-)

    Amy recently posted Cooking with a Nonstick Grill Pan.

  542. I need this book giveaway because I want to read it now but am too lazy to preorder anything.
    Please and thank you. xo

  543. Random truck signs and a free book? Sign me up! For the book, not the truck. I don’t have a place to park the truck. But I do have a place for the book!

  544. Maybe a sauna service or possibly a steam shower repair service…either way I am sure it is shaped like a vagina.

  545. It couldn’t be anything BUT vagina. I mean c’mon, they might want you to believe it’s a “plumber” but it IS Texas so they’re keeping up appearances. Etiquette and all.

  546. I want a mobile sauna….

  547. So….I preordered the hardback and read it cover-to-cover in about a day…including a couple hour flight where the other passengers couldn’t wait to get off the plane and away from me because I was trying unsuccessfully to contain my laughter and ended up sounding like a wheezing, asthmatic seal. I still have to order the audio book, because who -wouldn’t- want you to read them your own bedtime story? And now it appears I’ll be needing the PAPERBACK version because of the extra chapter. It seems I’ll need to create a library just for my Jenny Lawson collection. I’m okay with this.

    And, by the way, please come to Nashville on your book tour. Please. Nashville. Please.

  548. It’s either vaginas or ejaculate… not sure which is better. :P

  549. When I saw your note that it was coming out in paperback soon, I had plans to pick this up for my hard copy book to take with me on the Honeymoon in April. Maybe you’ll save me the effort (oh and that cash stuff) and send me yours?

  550. Is lava considered “wet”??? It could totally be lava!

    Kim recently posted Rage Against the Sock Bun….

  551. I have the hardback AND Kindle versions. This would totally make my collection complete!

  552. Maybe it is a mobile gynecologist van. Oh and I really want the book – pretty please.

  553. My first instinct was that it’s a dog washing truck. (Of course, that makes no sense. Who wants a dog that is constantly hot and wet?)

  554. Am I the only one that thinks it’s a mobile happy ending service for the ladies???

  555. they install hot water heaters for the gas company *nods* (though I do love the ‘pool boy’ theory) … and I would LOVE your double-covered, paperback of awesomeness. please <3

    Lynne recently posted Review: Ameca J and the Legacy of Menindus (Ameca J Chronicles #1) by Paul Xavier Jones.

  556. 559
    Toni Delgado

    Pick me. Please. I wish I could think of something funny or clever to say but I can’t…that’s why I read your blog. You up my funny quotient.

  557. I need the paperback so I can read the extra chapter! And if that’s not a pimp-mobile I don’t know what is.

  558. Um, yea. It’s totally vagina. There’s no other reasonable explanation.

  559. Maybe it’s hot tubs? I don’t know I’m just trying to think if anything that wouldn’t imply that a man in a white windowless van is working with vaginas.

  560. Pretty sure Vagina is the only possible answer.

  561. I am afraid to google ‘hot and wet’ so I am naively going to suggest orchid growers. Or pizza delivery.

  562. 565
    Irene of the north

    I think it is a hot dog truck. I think they steam their buns. Alternatively? Maybe it is a portable hot tub? Maybe those doors fold down into hot tub seats. Maybe? It’s a hot tub/dog combo. Hot and wet. done.

  563. I read the electronic version of the book and loved it, I like that the paperback has two covers but here is what I’m wondering? Are you going to be like George Lucas and his Star Wars movies and release the same book every once in a while and add new chapters or change the endings to stories and make us find the extra bonus material? or new special effects or behind the scenes clips? :-)

    and I totally think it has to be vagina

  564. I wouldn’t mind having a copy of your book… Another one. I loaned my hardback to my mom and I don’t think I’m ever going to get it back.
    If you ever find out what that truck is about, I want to know. That’s going to bug me all week.

    Sayre recently posted There are things I'm not good at.

  565. Hell yeah I want it. Whatever it is. ;)

  566. To be honest. I really want to read your book.. But I’m so fucking broke and I don’t want to spend my cigarette money. :)

    Ellen recently posted Deciphering Andrew.

  567. Let’s assume it is vagina. The real question is whether or not it’s a clanky vagina and if any cats have been sucked up in it.

    My non-clanky vagina and I will be in the closet hoping I win the book.

    MamaRama recently posted [imaginary] Dr Phil interviews Rama.

  568. I want that book! I actually ordered the Kindle version but I can’t loan it to my deployed Navy husband who I think would LOVE this book as much as I did.
    (See what I did there, military guilt trip!)

    Rebecca recently posted Nu’uanu to Manoa Falls Ridgeline hike.

  569. It’s probably vagina, but I really want your book, but will you sign it?!?!

  570. PICK ME PICK ME!!

  571. I also vote vagina repair service.

    Katie recently posted Mini Relapse.

  572. 575
    Stacey Guidry

    I NEED this book!!!

  573. Please pick me, choose me, love me.

  574. Love the book. Want the book. Yes, it’s vagina…I just wonder what they do in the creepy dark van to keep it hot and wet. Nevermind, I don’t wonder. I can picture it.

  575. Shoot, there are so many people who respond to you that I can never hope to compete. It’s making me feel all bad about myself. I’m probably going to have to do the only thing that makes sense…buy the book! Even my dorky friends have mentioned your book, as if I’m not cool enough to have found you first!

  576. Its a portable sauna of course – whenever did you see a portable vagina

    oh … !!!

  577. Want the book!

    And yes – it has to be vagina….

  578. Totally vagina…and I would LOVE that book.

  579. Now you’re just being ridiculous – books that don’t get sold go to live on a farm! … don’t they?

    Also I totally want – and deserve – that paperback because I feel distinctly disgruntled that I have now bought 5 DAMN COPIES of the original (4 hardcopy, one Kindle)! The extra chapter I haven’t read is taunting me with it’s paperbackiness! Seriously though, after reading your book and laughing so hard that tears were running down my legs, I have kept one hardback for myself, plus the Kindle version (because I don’t like taking my books out of the house because I invariably lose them) plus three for birthday gifts! Which were all very much appreciated by the way and all three ladies are now regular readers of your blog so you’re like welcome and shit. :)


    Charlie Blowfly recently posted Someone should do something about these sheep....

  580. Vagina repair service. I love it.

    Also, cover within a cover?! You’re book is some serious Inception shit, Jenny. I need to have it. Again.

    See, Inception. Look at that idea you just planted in me. What wizardry is this?!?!?

    GurlNxtDoor recently posted And Then I Caught a Cold From Leonardo DiCaprio.

  581. I’d love it so I can read the new chapter. :-) Hint, hint.

  582. Maybe it’s door-to-door hooker sales. For people who are physically unable to drive down sketchy streets to find their own. Or too lazy. Whatever. No one buys encyclopedias, anyway.

  583. I passed on my hardback copy of your book to a friend to read and have not gotten it back. She’s a slow reader, so I might not ever get it back. But I knew that about my friend and totally still love her! I would treasure a paperback copy of your book! I’d never lend it out to anyone. In fact, I’d totally make a shrine out of it. xx

  584. ON another note, perhaps it IS pet grooming. I had to take my cat to the vet yesterday and she got a Brazilian.

    Sayre recently posted There are things I'm not good at.

  585. 588
    Whitney Kippes (@Ms_Kippes)

    Definitely vagina.

    Also, I need this book so I can continue to lend it out to unsuspecting people. It’s great for determining who your real friends are. :)

  586. I need a copy of your book so I can torture my daughter with it. She loves your stuff and she’s 17, so any little extra bit of teenage-angst-control measures helps.

  587. Totally a guy’s car. Question: What words would “it” take to describe a penis? Cheap and fast?

  588. They appear to be darwin, and judging by the size…maybe it’s a whale? a hot whale…that is evolving into a vagina?
    Think on that.

    Tina recently posted Williwaw - My Band.

  589. A quality fiction paperback gets sent back to the publisher for credit if not sold. They begin removing the author’s digits if there are too many returns.

  590. 593
    Kelly Lilley

    We had our septic tank pumped at our house and on the side of the guy’s truck it said “smells like money to me”. Bah ha ha! Love your blog! But yeah I think it is vagina.

  591. I love reading your posts they bring a smile to my face even on the worst day, also I am completely saddened that you will not be coming to VA…….But if I can get a copy of the book I can say I got one step closer!

  592. Jacuzzi maintenance? Whole-sale lube distributors?

  593. Vagina. For sure.
    Pick me!

  594. How else can you get your vagina fixed at home if you don’t call them.

  595. It looks like plumber truck, but that’s not an effective plumber slogan.

    I’m sad I already have the Kindle version and the hardback and now I’m missing out on the extra chapter. This is my sad face. :(

    Rachel recently posted Valentine’s Day.

  596. Book. Now.

  597. Totally vagina! And I really really would love the paperback of this. I have the hardcover which has been read a million times already (and since it’s autographed by you it’s my most prized possession.) Currently battling an eating disorder and am basically homebound so your book + an extra chapter = major slice of heaven for me! :)

  598. Hot tub repair?

  599. Maybe they’re selling meat. All the creepy vans/trucks around me are always selling meat. As in, “No sir, I don’t want to buy a ‘lovely flank steak’ out of the back of your windowless panel van.”

    Katie recently posted The Nested School For Bloggers Who Can Tweet Good And Want to Learn to Do Other Promoting Good Too..

  600. 603
    Laura Garnett

    Mobile greenhouse repair?

    I would love a paperback friend for my hard cover!

  601. It totally is – and they make house calls to ‘service’ it! Ahem!

  602. Its creepy and it looks like the bat mobile for crackaddicts… Can I borrow it?

  603. That truck picture is awesome. I’d love to have found that and put it on my Stupid Car Stuff blog post.

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  604. It’s a sauna repairman’s truck. Those are two qualities of any decent sauna and you would be very sad indeed if your sauna lacked either one.

    Les recently posted Socks always going missing? You need some guard kitties!.

  605. How broken is your neighbor’s vagina that they had to call a door to door repair service to come fix it? I think that’s the real question.
    And what do you send? Flowers? “Sorry about your broken vijay jay. Better luck next time!”

  606. It’s dumplings!

  607. I’m thinking it’s a gynecologist specializing in menopause. But then, I would think that.

    Other options:
    coffee delivery service
    hot tub service
    swimming pool service in Finland
    (are you in Finland right now?)
    tropical fishtank service
    mermaid cleaning service

    mostly, I think you’re probably right though.

    Em recently posted Teeny Tiny Update.

  608. Hot tub repair??

  609. I think you are supposed to “get in” to find out!
    Would LOVE the book!!

  610. I can think of nothing but soup that you would want wet and hot. My husband is shaking his head.
    Read part of a chapter of a friend’s copy, and since she won’t share and I’m poor this week, I am posting a comment.

    Tara recently posted Password Vault- Yes you need one!.

  611. lmao @ that truck!!!

    And I can’t wait to read your book :D

  612. It’s totally vagina. Also, I would love your book. :)

  613. lol! I look forward to reading your book!

  614. I purchased the kindle version of your book, and would love a the paper back version! When I was a companion to the Doctor, he dropped me back in this time, JUST SO THAT I COULD WIN ONE! He will be back soon to retrieve me, as we have lots of running to do! :)

  615. Have no idea what “it” is but I can’t think of many things one could want to keep hot and wet…

    On a different note, you know what would be awesome? If just once I got one of the awesome things you’re always giving away so that one day I could say “Remember that time when I won that thing?” And my grandkids will say “Yeah, grandma, we know. You already told tho story today.” But I won’t remember because I’ll have Alzheimer’s and I’ll tell them all over again and I’ll send little Jimmy (or whatever his name might be) to go get it so I can show them. And then they’ll say they had already seen it a million times and I’ll tell all of them to just shut up because they need to respect the elderly.

    Basically you’ll be doing us all a favor. I don’t really know how me yelling at my grandkids will be a favor, but at least it will be entertaining, don’t you think?

    “Good times,” they’ll say one day, with tears in their eyes telling their own grandkids.

    And that’s how generations will come to know about The Bloggess.

    Carol recently posted Why do we write a blog?.

  616. I’m not sure how it could be anything OTHER than vagina.


    Lindsey recently posted My Life Line in Media.

  617. Have you heard this song by Storm Large, “8 Miles Wide”? *Totally* fits the vagina theme!
    And I WANT that book!!

  618. How could it NOT be vagina?
    Unless… maybe it’s a gynocologist on wheels? Like… “ladies is your vag broken? come to us! we’ll make sure it stays hot and wet!”

  619. Definitely a mobile marriage and sex therapy service….

  620. It’s tea. Of course. Cold dry tea is just — leaves.

    (pick me pick me pick me for the book book book!)


    (pretty please)

  621. 624
    Mandy Galloway

    Haha….you said vagina

  622. 625
    Brandy Herren

    I want it!!!

  623. Yay! Paperback!

  624. Is the other cover re: aqua squirrels?? I need that to settle an argument!

  625. 628
    Dani Whitener

    I need that book!!!

    It looks like a food truck, but I don’t think I’d want what they’re serving.

  626. Vagina.

    Now how often do you get to post that as a comment and have it actually make sense?

  627. I need a new copy because I gave mine away!

  628. Two covers means it’s harder to take off the shelf in the rare case that your book doesn’t sell ’cause they totally have to rip the covers off b/f they trash them.

  629. Please go knock on the door!! The world needs to know what it in that van! Take one for the team!

    Rabia @ TheLiebers recently posted How We Accidentally Weaned Benjamin From His Pacifier.

  630. I would love to win a copy of your book! That way I don’t have to shoplift it.

  631. Yeah, it’s a vagina.

    Also, I need your book.

  632. I called my co-worker over and she said “That’s my Dad’s new truck!” (He’s a plumber.)
    I asked “Does his say hot&wet too?”
    No, no it doesn’t…. so jury is still out.

  633. It’s a vagina. It has to be. IT HAS TO BE. There’s actually no other option.


    Valorie recently posted What I'm Reading When I'm Not Refreshing Twitter.

  634. pretty sure “vagina delivery service” is called something else. and nobody wants vagina repair out of a truck like that. maybe it’s a vagina servicing truck.

  635. I’m actually not a lawyer, so I can’t really say that. Sorry, if you guys believed me.

    Valorie recently posted What I'm Reading When I'm Not Refreshing Twitter.

  636. Yay! I loved your book! :)

  637. They should totally park next to my mobile flagpole installation truck. It just says We Keep Them Long and Erect.

  638. i am gonna go with organ donair delivery service. or possibly donor. i guess the spelling is somewhat important in this context. which also explains why they do not advertise. who would want that lurking outside of their house, like some modern vulture?

  639. 642
    Shannon Fielding

    A book with an undercover cover. Sounds so cloak and dagger. Makes it all the more intriguing.

    Shannon Fielding recently posted Need a new online home? It’s easy to import into

  640. Is ‘it’ in the van? did you look? can ‘it’ get out? does ‘it’ want to?


    Amanda recently posted Random thoughts pt 5.

  641. Pick me, pick me! Please?

    Haha, undercover vagina repair. Classic.

  642. I’m halfway through the hardcover of your book but I’m imagining the softcover would be about a million times better to read. So I can let everyone know how the two compare as I’m sure you are asked that every 10 minutes. :)

    Putting my money on Sauna Repair van.

  643. 646
    John Kirkpatrick

    My wife want’s to know if You and I are on a first name basis.
    It would seem I quote you. A lot.
    She will SOON understand.

  644. HOW do I get the NEW book jacket if I bought your Audio book??? tell me how sister? I can’t??? can I??? such as life… such as YOU discriminating against the audiobook readers of the world…. don;t you think I want a fancy dancy new book cover???… BTW.. write another book would ya??? I ran out of things to listen to…. sister!

  645. I don’t see my last copy of your book coming back to me – and I would love the paperback copy – especially if you would personalize it – your posts always make my day

  646. Maybe it’s a mobile hot tub?? I’d love to win your book!

  647. I totally want to win…must…read…new…chapter!

  648. It’s a traveling gynecologist!
    I’d love a copy of your book!

    Juleen Kenney recently posted 10 Things To Be Thankful For Today – (5/15/12).

  649. Well, they could be talking about 112’s fourth studio album, Hot and Wet… Which, now that I think about it, is probably mostly about vaginas…so…yup. Vaginas!

    Ashlee recently posted Maybe someday….

  650. Please say that you are going to sign that book for the winner…and that the winner is me. :)

    As for that truck….VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA!

    Jennifer recently posted We owe it all to Givenchy..

  651. BTW… the truck is not a plumber… he fixes car washers… DUH!!! :-)

  652. Also, does no one realize that the author gets *NOTHING* from a book that’s been destroyed?
    Buying a book without a cover is wrong on so many levels.

  653. I like the tea idea, but vagina is certainly more interesting… and I totally can’t wait to read the new chapter in your paperback! But I might need to borrow it from the library since I don’t think my husband will let me buy any more new books until I read the piles of existing (but unread) ones I have here. :)

  654. I don’t understand why it’s so unbelievable that it’s an undercover vagina repair service that makes house calls. Also, for, um, my friend, you know how to reach them?

  655. Maybe it is a Tea truck–hot wet tea is pretty good and perhaps people order it because they don’t know the recipe?

  656. Pick me!

    That’s really all I have to say. I’m just one of your many silent blurkers.

  657. No idea about the truck.
    But I would LOVE a copy of the paperback!!

  658. I can’t imagine anything I would want to keep hot and wet other than my vagina.

    Your book would make my birthday the best birthday ever :)

  659. I want whatever they are selling. I like it hot. I like it wet. Let’s do this thing.

  660. I’d totally dig getting that book because for some reason I still haven’t bought it and if I get it, I totally promise to put it at the top of my to-read list. Although that might be a problem because I have a book on WWII in the Pacific to read for a class. But hey, I could attempt to your book as one of my sources. Maybe?

  661. I could definitely use a second copy of your book – I keep lending mine out! :)

  662. me! me! me!

  663. It needs to say “Free Candy” on the side of it.

    Hip-Baby Mama recently posted 10 Things You May Not Know About Me.

  664. I am sure you are right that it is totally vagina. My wife and I would love a copy of the paperback so we can read that extra chapter. The hardback was great and I want to see what you have added.

  665. I totally need that paperback. I bought the book on Kindle the first time, but I really want to have a touchable one. Especially since my 2-year-old thinks Hamlet Von Schnitzel is pretty freaking awesome.

  666. World’s most-prepared gigolo?

  667. I’m thinking hot tub – unless the truck contains a lot of shirtless ginger men wearing kilts.

    Angela recently posted More Vintage Portraits.

  668. It seems completely obvious that it refers to vaginas. However, I will need to know a little more about the “who” and “how” before I make a service call of my own. . (Plus hopefully I might be too busy reading the new chapter in the paperback version of your book to have time for that.)

  669. Who would ever rip the Hamlet von Schnitzel cover off??

    I listened to you read your book (got the audio version from the library). Made my commute AWESOME, but the day I listened to you overdose on ExLax terrified a rapist was in your house… well, I had to sit in the car a full five minutes in the parking lot at work before I could compose myself enough to go in. I would LOVE a copy of the paperback to have as my very own!!

  670. I would love to win a copy of your book, especially with the extra chapter since I can’t get it in Canada! (We seem to be against extra chapters or something)

  671. Hot Tub repairman?
    Or Vagina Repairman?
    Or Vagina Tub Repairman? Man they must be rich to have a tub specifically for their vagina.

  672. Tar, maybe? Hot, wet tar vagina?

  673. I’d love a double covered copy of your book! =]

  674. i want that book!!!! pleeeeeeeease.

  675. It’s OBVIOUSLY a secret burrito restaurant.

    PLEASE GIVE TO ME YOUR WORDS OF WISDOM. Because I have seriously need to learn how to pretend LOTS of shit never happened ….


    katana leigh recently posted 5 Native American Quotes: The Ultimate Image Gallery.

  676. Oooh, I absolutely need a free book. Especially this one, because then I can read it again and leave it on the shelf with my other books and it can keep them company, and they can gossip about what that van is for. I’m going to say it’s a mad scientist who has perfected a weather control ray and goes door to door renting it out for people to use for their gardens.

  677. I’m totally picturing the inside of that truck to be the most amazing hippie love shack mixed with a “massage” service place. Yep, definitely talking about vaginas.

  678. Would love to have another copy since I lent out my hardback version and have yet to see it again… I hate when that happens. A backup copy would be greatly appreciated!

  679. I’ve lent out both copies of your book in hardcover, and I suspect I’m never getting them back, so I obviously need the paperback now. :)

  680. Pick me! Pick me!

  681. Mobile fluffers, for women.

    Brad recently posted Fury and Fun, Part 1.

  682. I’m willing to trade a pair of Rainbowlicious Unicorn bookends for that book. Oh wait, I don’t have them anymore. Still, I’d love this book.

    Kara recently posted OWH Design Bootcamp Focal Point.

  683. I totally thought it was animal control before I read the caption, but the only animals that would need it hot and wet are butterflies and why in the world would you need a giant white van that looks like it could transport prisoners for fragile little insects??? So for lack of a better answer I have to agree with you, your neighbor called a vagina repair man … I don’t want to know why tho.

  684. I will take the book and I will love it and hug it and call it George. As for the van, clearly it is a mobile petri dish maintenance van. I would venture, given the advertised parameters they may well service vaginas on the side, especially in this economy. Can’t be too choosy. Congrats on your book.

  685. I desperately want a copy of this! I have the hardcover copy, but I need this one so I don’t miss out on the new stuff!

  686. You are lots of fun. Is it possible it’s somehow about taxidermy? Taxidermied vaginas? Oh, ouch.

    Kathleen recently posted Minnie Cardshower.

  687. I would love to have a copy of your book!

  688. I’m not sure what “it” is, but I want the book and I also have questions about something I heard when passing through the room where the guys were watching reality TV. “If you want to go after something in a hole, you gotta smoke it out with Napalm.” (I hope my OB/GYN doesn’t watch Duck Dynasty.)

  689. HOLY WET VAGINA MOBILE!! That is funny and frightening, all at the same time.

    BTW, I would LOVE to have this copy of your book!!! :D Pppppllleeeeaaaase? Please! Please! Please!! Or does begging not work in your house, either?!

  690. Looked at the van and thought plumbing, then I read the back and my mind totally went that it’s the start of a porn flick. So, I think you are right and it’s vagina.

  691. I am thinking maybe it’s soup…..I do not enjoy cold dry soup….although it could be one of those odd soups that is supposed to be cold, but they aren’t for-real soups, so they don’t count. More importantly though, if it IS vagina, I want to know what is inside that truck…..

  692. I like someone else’s comment about how it’s an undercover vagina repair service. It’s not like people would want to advertise that they need their vaginas repaired – right?

  693. Love you like crazy Jenny. My mind didn’t go straight to vagina, but now it won’t go anywhere else. So yes, it’s vagina.

    Jenelle W. recently posted More Valentines.

  694. It’s like one of those signs that was originally written in another language and then translated with BabelFish.

  695. A hot, wet vagina sounds awfully uncomfortable and potentially dangerous. Like you’d have to blow on it before enjoying. *shudder*

  696. I have actually bought 2 new hard cover copies already, but I gave them to friends. I need another copy.

  697. It’s obviously a MPU – Mobile Porn Unit

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