I don’t need your sarcasm, cats.

My cats, Rolly and Hunter S. Thomcat, pretty much every-damn-day-of-their-lives:

*****************

And in entirely unrelated news, it’s time for the weekly wrap up:

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up is sponsored by Bad Radio, a novel from Michael Langlois.  In a nutshell, it’s about a guy who screwed up saving the world a long time ago and now he has a second chance.  He not only tries to save the world, but he also learns to find joy in life again after sixty years of moping.  It’s like one of those Moxie cola commercials from the forties, only with monsters.  Because everything’s better with monsters.

187 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Cat’s are just to remind us how insignificant we are, they’re kind of like men for that.

    Vanessa recently posted What's in a name?.

  2. 2
    Sandra Fowler

    Asked my husband, “How many cats does she have? Is it two or three? I can never remember.”

    His response was, “That’s the wrong question, Sandra. The right question would have been, ‘How many of her cats are stuffed?'”

    I totally married the right guy.

    (You totally did. Also? Three living cats. One stuffed one. ~ Jenny)

  3. 3
    E M Foster

    And the cats reaction to being called is why we have dogs. Although, my daughter really wants a cat. Not sure that’s ever going to happen.

  4. If I took pictures of my two daughters, added the identical captions, it would be equally hilarious… and disturbing. They may not be human. I am thinking some sort of elf/changeling creatures actually.

    leroy recently posted Have a Safe and Happy Memorial Day.

  5. 5
    catrina_woman

    Those are my three cats in a nutshell, except my old one just pretends to be deaf. And yes, Commander Chris Hadfield is amazing. <3

  6. Even though I was expecting something like that ending to the web cartoon, it still got me!

    Ali K. recently posted Pardon My Streaking.

  7. WHY DID I WATCH THAT?? THAT SCARED THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF ME

  8. Wow. You weren’t kidding. That link did scare the shit out of me; almost literally. Jeebus.

  9. 10
    Elizabeth

    I’m probably not going to sleep tonight.

  10. While I don’t believe in ghosts, that was an excellent story and an amazing use of the scrolling to get you spooked. That made me jump, and it was awesome.
    Also your cat photos made me laugh, so I am posting them on tumblr (and linking back to this of course).

    Madfishmonger recently posted Button Button Shoulder Bag - SALE by madfishmarket.

  11. Scared the living fool outta me. Holy cow. I need to lay down…

  12. Sometimes I think cats are of the devil, but Supernatural taught me Satan is pretty chill.

    Zena Zee recently posted I Am Not Allowed Caffeine.

  13. i’m so glad you liked Chris Hadfield, he’s made me exceptionally proud to be canadian! oh and davie bowie tweeted him about this, so cool “With deference to the genius of David Bowie, here is Space Oddity, recorded on Station,” he tweeted. “A last glimpse of the World.”
    David Bowie replied with the tweet “Hallo spaceboy”.

  14. Both scary and awesome. I had to watch it a couple times. (But then, I’m a little freaky that way.)

    Cats are natives of the planet Rigel. Offer them their due as our alien overlords and we all get along fine.

    Kats recently posted 100 Blog Posts - #24.

  15. Omg That was scary…even better if you scroll backwards afterwards!!

    Sandy Davis recently posted Donating: Time, Money, and Love.

  16. Cats rock the free world. Total entertainment. You should think about teaching them to read!

    thedoseofreality recently posted Pinterest Nightmare #193: Teach Your Cat To Read.

  17. glad I’m not the only one it spooked…damn you.

  18. HOLY SHIT

    Squishy Amber recently posted Bittersweet.

  19. The bloody face will probably follow me through my dreams tonight… Irgh.

  20. I am glad I went to the bathroom before watching that cartoon.

  21. OMG need to get back on pinterest right now. I deleted my account because I thought that’s why I got the shaft from google. To hell with it. I’m going to pin the f*%k out of stuff again.

    Linda recently posted Lemon Cake Donuts.

  22. Even though I was pretty sure it would be scary because you said it was so I was thinking, well I’m warned and I expect it. It still made me jump.

  23. Cats only wish to mock us AND WE LIKE IT.

    Cindy ~ The Reedster Speaks recently posted The Guilt Trip..

  24. 26
    Scaredy cat

    I am totally NOT going to look at the scary link. I am still having nightmares from the
    Stephen King books I read in the 1970s.

    I am reading a Chelsea Handler book now.. Are you two secret best friends? I wish I could write what I’m really thinking like both you and Chelsea seem to but I can’t risk losing my government job.

    Scaredy cat recently posted Down Memory Lane.

  25. Holy hell, that made me jump.

    And the cartoon was scary, too.

  26. Your cats look kind of evil. You might need to worry.

    Amanda R. recently posted I Am The Butt Of All Their Jokes, Part Deux.

  27. Chris Hadfield is the most amazing thing since the original song. Awesome!!

  28. OMIGOD YOU INTERVIEWED MIRI!!! Why does she think her name is Elizabeth???

  29. 31
    L.B. Coleman

    How scary can this be? Ugh, Japanese folklore and

    SHIT

    Well, I’ve committed to it, let’s see if the ending pays off

    HOLY FUCKBALLS WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT I’LL NEVER SLEEP AGAIN.

    Pardon my while I snuggle my own cats.

  30. Holyheck that was terrifying. I doubt I’ll sleep tonight. I can’t decide if I love it or if I hate you now. (you did warn me, but sheesh)

    Erin recently posted Calvin and sleep.

  31. 33
    jessica rancifer

    OMG…..that scared the bejesus out of me!!!! AWEOME!!!!!!

  32. I was totally prepared for the scary thing and it still scared the crap out of me!

  33. Rolly needs more blog time. I barely know him. (Her?! See what I mean?)

  34. At least your cats pretend to humor you, even if it’s only for a few seconds. Gypsy the Feline Dictator demands instant obedience to her chicken fetching whims.

    Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous recently posted This wouldn't have happened if he'd been a crossword fan....

  35. Pardon my french but that scared the FUCK out of me.

    sherry recently posted Another accomplishment to add to my list: 10K race!.

  36. Best.Interview.Ever.

    The Suzzzz recently posted One Is The Loneliest Number.

  37. Almost had a coronary watching that video…thank god I had my Xanax handy….

    On a side note, I think my dogs pretend to be cats…is that weird?

  38. I’m looking at the comments and I’ll completely admit to be a chicken-shit pussy and am NOT clicking the scary link.

    Kat recently posted The Ballad of Seamus O'Horny.

  39. Your cats are clearly related to mine. You would think they would appreciate us more…
    Also, just finished your awesome book. Are you seriously like this all the time? Wish I could see the humor and oddity of life like you do.

  40. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK WHY THE FUCK DID I CLICK IT! SCARED THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OUT OF ME! AND FUCK MYSELF FOR CLICKING IT!

    Kat recently posted The Ballad of Seamus O'Horny.

  41. 44
    Ghanimatrix

    For the love of all that is holy, that scared the motherfucking shit out of me!!!

  42. I seriously hate you right now for that scare the shit out of you thing. My damn heart is pounding so frickin’ fast right now and, as much as I love you, I’m really not happy with you at the moment. I couldn’t even keep reading after the first animated part. You kind of suck for that one. Love ya!

    Devon S recently posted It's the little things.

  43. Yeah, I’m with everyone who is second-guessing why they clicked on that link. Guess I won’t be going to sleep any time soon.

  44. I will have nightmares now and I WILL BLAME YOU…where’s my nightlight?

  45. 48
    Lady Penelope

    All I can say is I am glad for the time difference.
    I watched that creepy cartoon in full daylight (lunchtime here in Oz) and it STILL creeped the shit outta me!

    And I just *love* the Ellen creatures. I want! I want!

  46. I remember that link. And now I’m having flashbacks and crying. My dog is confused and unsympathetic. Also I love that you and Elizabeth Banks are friends.

    Corey Freeman recently posted I’m Trading Pizza for a Better Life.

  47. OK if I end up in the ER with a heart attack, can I send you the bill?! Jesus! I’m sitting here reading that and BOOM! bloody face head thingy at the exact same time my cat (THAT I DIDN’T KNOW WAS LUCKING BEHIND ME) FLEW from the back of the couch over my head onto the table. My heart is still racing; I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight…

  48. Chris Hadfield is Canada’s sweetheart. <3

    Amanda recently posted Reawakening.

  49. FUCK.

    Monica recently posted W is for Wilton.

  50. The funny thing is I’d seen that webcomic before, at least a couple times, and it still manages to scare the crap out of me EVERY TIME, maybe because I forget exactly when the jump scares are coming and oh also IT MAKES NOISE. (Thankfully, I had my earbuds out this time. I still heard it.) I’d only ever seen the untranslated version before, though, so at least now the creepiness has more context.

  51. 54
    WinterLightHomestead

    You’ll think you’re ready to click on that link.

    You’ll think that you’ve braced yourself, you know something scary’s coming.

    You’ll think you’re prepared.

    You’ll be wrong.

    BLOODY HELL!!!!

    *curls up on the couch* *watches Star Trek — lots and lots of soothing Star Trek* *mutters over and over again, “Spock will protect me. Spock will protect me. Spock will protect me.*

  52. Only one of my cats comes when I call… and that’s because he thinks he’s a dog … and his call is actually a very specific whistle. The other two cats are very much like this pic. Assholes.

    jessie marie recently posted Does My Anxiety Make Me Look Fat?.

  53. FUUUUUCK! I puched my laptop away and it fell!!! That scared the shit out of me!

  54. pushed*

  55. 58
    Ladyraven

    Don’t be silly folks, it’s just a story, nothing to be scared of it’s not real is it. I’m only sitting in this corner huddled under a duvet cuddling my cat cos it’s cold in here…. honest.

  56. Being a manly man means never having to admit you were just seriously creeped out by a cartoon. The ONE TIME you weren’t being ironic…
    *plugs in unicorn nightlight*

    Sean recently posted Sword & Laser Community Blog.

  57. 60
    turtlesong

    actual pulse rate: 197

  58. I am standing in my bathroom in nearly complete darkness, brushing my teeth before bed, and checking out the latest. I clicked the scary link and started to (hesitantly) scroll through. Just as I got to the part where she stops, I thought, “What is wrong with me? I need no help being creeped out before bed” and quickly exited. From the other comments, I’d say it was just in time.
    I’ll just have my husband look at it tomorrow… Is it better to do that before, or after, church? (I’m thinking ‘before’, so I can immediately go pray for forgiveness… Mwua haha…)

  59. 62
    savagarus

    Jesus H Christ on a popsicle stick, I think I had a heart attack when I watched that scary link.

  60. I think my soul just fainted.

  61. Totally shouldn’t have clicked the scary link.
    Love Chris Hadfield.

  62. Sometimes I’m stupid. Sometimes I’m really stupid. This was one of those times.

  63. Yea, I have to go to bed now, and not be afraid of the dark. >.< I'm 43 years old, I'm an adult, and scary stuff is .. still scary!

    meg recently posted Sleep Study #4.

  64. Oh god. Merciful god in alleged heaven above, tell me you did not stuff Poppy(In regards to comment #2).

  65. Nightmares. Totally having nightmares tonight.

    But worth having seen that page – total awesomeness despite the holycrapscary.

  66. It’s actually the procatinator. Which is way more awesome, because it’s a pun. See?

  67. 70
    KandiMonkey

    Oh Holy FUCK! That was awesome!… and I hope I never see anything like it again.

  68. That story definitely made me jump! It wasn’t the story itself, just the sudden movement. Well done!

  69. Somehow, I am still creeped out (even though I didn’t see the scariest part of that cartoon), in that way when you imagine how absolutely horrifying something *could* have been, * if* it had actually happened. I’m just glad my overactive imagination is self-aware, to drown out my idiot curiosity.

  70. yes – those that have said HOLY FUCK are correct. You were right. What was I thinking? Jesus. this is like the WORST cliche ever. . . I’m babysitting. And I’m alone – and I will listen to you from now on.

    it scared the SHIT out of me. NOT ONCE – but TWICE. because I’m a moron.

    a fucking moron.

    thank you for making my day.

  71. WHY DID I NOT HEED YOUR WARNING?? I’M A MORON. My heart is now pounding so damn hard.

    Soothing myself with the images of your cats being cats.

    Dammit, Jenny. Now I won’t be able to sleep.

  72. Um, thank you, I think I’ll have nightmares from that scary cartoon now!

    AMummysLife recently posted Aliens took my daughter.

  73. FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK

    *whimpers*

    I need to go find that hour long funny cat video now. My brain… it must be cleansed.

  74. Why do cats do that? Seriously. We do nothing but love them and that’s how they pay us back.

    Anyhow, on my next life I want to be a cat. I’ll sleep all day, show little to no interest to what my human thinks I should want, and bit my human’s toes whenever said human is asleep. Oh, and I want my cat to come back as the human to care for me. Then we’ll see if she likes it when I start scratching her skin every damn time she turns around in bed and something gets uncovered in the middle of the night! We’ll also see how much she enjoys when I rub myself against her legs when she’s getting out of the shower. We’ll also see how much fun she has every time I bug her when she’s on her laptop and bump into her right hand till she finally gives up using her mouse to pet me just to have her hands bitten after just a few seconds.

    Carol recently posted People said it couldn’t be done. But I said, why not?.

  75. There is nothing so disturbing to me as humans with things unexpectedly wrong with them. Like in the Twilight Zone movie (the remake) when you see that kid’s sister doesn’t have a mouth? It makes my brain seize up for a second. Terrifying. An excellent cartoon, but seriously…scary.

  76. I was in bed when I clicked on that link and am so happy I had some pillows against the headboard. They saved me from a big headache. Who knew you could jump that much while tucked in bed with a laptop on top of you. I am now a mix of scared and stupid. I had seen it before and sent the link to some friends. I knew what to expect. But that shit still scared me!

    I need to look at more pictures of cats to get those images out of my head now that I’m WIDE AWAKE!

    Sweet dreams everyone!

  77. So, I was reading this post on my ipad and followed the link to read the scary cartoon. And I was like, um, OK, I guess that was a little scary in a 4th grade kind of way — whatever. Then, I read the comments here and started to wonder if you people were a bunch of wusses. Then, I decided you couldn’t ALL be total wusses, so I tried reading the scary cartoon on a PC (that uses, you know, Flash)…

    I’m sorry I thought you were total wusses.

  78. 81
    Julie You Jest

    I was downstairs rocking my 9-month old niece trying to get her to stay asleep when I decided it was a good idea to read the link…in the dark with creepy moonlit windows that look out onto a dimly lit walkway with spooky moon shadows. FREAKY HEAD TWIST CRAWLY LADY IS OUT THERE SOMEWHERE! Holy fucktastic shit. The baby is sleeping in my room. Is pretzel lady going to crawl out of my TV if I don’t show this link to someone in 7 days or something?

    Julie You Jest recently posted Show some love for Oklahoma, y’all..

  79. I almost just typed in my password instead of writing my website right there…I’m that scared! Seriously, take me password, my bank account number, whatever you want, just stop scaring me like that! ( OMG please don’t stop. I’m so conflicted about this) That was genius!

    Miss Gee recently posted I'm Not Trying To Be Preachy, Just Gleaning Random Thoughts That Keep Me Going..

  80. I believe that while dogs are permanent toddlers, cats are permanent teenagers.

  81. So that link was kinds acary… except it burped at me. At the part that was presumably supposed to be the scariest. Was it supposed to burp at me? Seemed like the kind of moment where something like that would normally scream…

    Katrina recently posted gone quiet.

  82. My husband is scarred by the accuracy of the cat pics.

    I, for one, know better than to expect our feline lords and masters to come when I call… now if I so much as step into the kitchen however, then they come running.

    Cris recently posted Zen and the Art of Toast.

  83. Great A’tun!!!!!!

  84. I don’t think it’s stupid. I think I’M STUPID. It *said* discretion is warned if you’re pregnant, old, or suffering serious medical conditions. I’m pregnant, over 40 and clinically obstinate. DUM.

  85. The Sarcastic Cats would be a GREAT name for a rock band.

    HogsAteMySister recently posted NZ Govt Authorities Warn of Bouncy Castle Danger: ‘Don’t Drink and Jump’.

  86. Sometimes I wonder how early humans were tricked into becoming cat owners without Youtube videos as motivation. As soon as I’m close to uncovering their secrets, one of the furballs flops in front of me as I’m walking in with groceries and I wake up later feeling a little woozy and with a strange desire to place opened cans of tuna on the floor.

    KMB recently posted WTF Wednesday: Derpy Cougar and Coyote Faces.

  87. LOL. I love you and your highly anthropomorphized cats.

  88. I DID NOT NEED THAT. THAT WAS UNNECESSARY. *runs and flails*

    Brilliant. Bravo.

    Jodes recently posted 24 hours in a life.

  89. God dammit, why did I follow that link? That was terrifying.

  90. That comic is the scariest thing ever! I got halfway and had to close the link and then I convinced myself that it couldn’t get worse. And then it was so much more terrifying. I must share it with everyone and scare the living shit out of them.

  91. Yeah… love Chris Hadfield, he’s very inspiring. I watched his homecoming last week. I had to laugh he was in kinda rough shape, from being back in gravity again, he was walkin’ like a little old man.

    I wish he could go up again, but I think that was his final jaunt. There’s talk of him heading our Space
    Agency, the President position is currently open (since Feb.). I hope he takes it, once he’s rested up and finished with his medical testing. I think he would be tremendous!!

    K

  92. At 12:30 am I got to the scare. I had started scrolling tentatively expecting a giant face to jump in from the side of the browser window, or the like. By the time it got scary I had forgotten to be afraid.

    And I yelled, quite loudly, in the living room of my apartment, while my roommates slept. and then I laughed loudly for a couple of minutes, till I had caught my breath and could finish reading, only for it to get so very much worse, with the screaming and catching my breath.

    You are a rockstar, thank you for making me wake up my roommates.
    G.

  93. You really need to have a streak of masochist running through you to own cats. You’d think nothing on the planet could be more self centred than a pop or catwalk star, you’d be wrong – cats and they have no problem in ignoring you and letting you know that they are doing so deliberately

    Tom Stronach recently posted As Jules Said, (Not So) Freaky .... - Best Moments Award.

  94. 97
    natbrookes

    so I opened the scary link and procrastinator at the same time. I couldn’t understand why the scary comic had All Night Long by Lionel Richie playing in the background. Was it meant to make it less scary? Was this some social experiment to twist my confused little brain? WTF was going on?

    IT MADE NO SENSE – I wasn’t scared I was confused

    One click of my mouse and then I knew what was going on. The bongo playing cat was quietly chuckling to itself knowing full well that I wasn’t looking at it but at something all together different. Now I know for sure that the internet is just a cat experiment to see how far they can push our inferior intellects before our heads explode

  95. Jesus it’s like I’m scared but I’m not even scared and why did I even do that

  96. Got halfway through reading what you linked before jumping and making scared mewling noises. Oi yoi yoi that freaked me out!
    Scrolled through the rest of the story with the volume on mute and my eyes half-shut.

    Claire J recently posted Ghosts in the City.

  97. Loved the comic nicely creepy.
    The stuff of Ellen June’s is awesome.

    Kattie recently posted Closure.

  98. 101
    Jennifer

    The comic was creepy, but I started cracking up when I read the panel that says, “She was dirty and her joints looked like they were all twisted out of place. WORSE, her hair was messed up.” Glad someone’s got their priorities straight!

  99. Ellen June stuff – are any portions of those formerly alive?

    Cathy recently posted Vacation Conversations.

  100. That Ellen June site is pure awesome.

    AmyBean recently posted Helicopter parenting.

  101. Your grey cat looks exactly like my Ridley. When my daughter comes home next week after an 8 month absence, she’ll seek him out for a hug and a squeeze. She wonders if he’ll remember her or come running when she arrives. I suspect he’ll just look at her out of the corner of his eye and say, “Hey. I remember you. Howzit goin’? Can you open that can? ‘Cause your mother won’t.”

    The cartoon was excellent! Well done. And those little bonzai taxidermy critters are amazing.

    I once tweeted that in the 80s I dressed up for a Christmas party to look just like Elizabeth Perkins in BIG. She tweeted back that she still had that dress in her closet. I wouldn’t be surprised. It was an amazing dress.

  102. I got my Elizabeths mixed up. Elizabeth Perkins had the dress. Elizabeth Banks said she wanted to punch the Fail Whale in the mouth.

    Sandra Cormier recently posted Day of Love.

  103. 106
    David Lehmann

    First time poster, I just finished your book Jenny, and I rlly loved it. As someone who suffers from mild (compared to what I’ve read) anxiety I love to read incredibly talented, funny people who deal with their own issues, like you, Jen from CakeWrecks, Frogman, etc. It sounds corny but I think you can’t really experience true happiness and true joy unless you’ve been to the dark side. The bad moments teach you to appreciate that much more the good stuff. It’s not searching for perfection, but learning how to deal with imperfection. Anyway. Thanks for the book and the blog :)

  104. 107
    Benzadrine

    MOTHERFUCKER. I need a cat now, to protect me from scary bleeding faced ghost ladies.

  105. Bong-cheon Dong Ghost is really cool. (At first I thought there contain drugs or porn, just because I am culturally insensitive).

    Sarah recently posted Uncharted.

  106. The first time I clicked that link was about a year ago… I was sitting in bed with my laptop enjoying life.
    AND THEN HELL ESCAPED INTO THE ROOM.
    I remember literally *throwing* my laptop away from me in an attempt to escape whatever the fuck was trying to obviously kill me.
    I’m just lucky I’m bad at throwing things and that I have a large bed as the laptop survived. My psyche did not. As soon as I clicked and saw the story line I started sucking my thumb and I turned off my internet.

  107. That’s hilarious. Thanks for always keeping me laughing!

    batpoopcrazy recently posted Car Horn Emotions-Don’t Text and Drive.

  108. Zomg we have the same ebook reader cover, nerdpurrrrr.

    Jaime recently posted Bookish Stuff You Should Know (vol 4).

  109. I love that you captured both cats laughing (yawning?) at the same time.

    The Space Oddity video was amazing. Thanks!

    Sue recently posted Bogie snubs a milk bone.

  110. Omigawd!! I actually tried to get away from my laptop. Since I’m recovering from knee surgery & am strapped into a CPM machine fleeing wasn’t a possibility. Also??? OUCH!!!

  111. Okay, that link scared the SHIT out of me! But I had to keep reading it. I’m glad it is daylight right now, otherwise I might have had nightmares … I might still have nightmares …

    Ashley recently posted What Book Dreams Are Made Of.

  112. Well, now I know what a heart attack feels like, thanks to that comic. Although the pic of your cats yawning/screaming/?? made me feel better :D

    Stacey recently posted This post contains taxidermied deer asses and giant testicles. Consider yourself warned.

  113. Darn. I heeded the warning, and now I regret it. I’m going back right now.

    whatimeant2say recently posted Your Summer Challenge: To Figure Out How to Inflict Mind-Numbing Boredom Without Getting Caught in the Cross-Fire.

  114. I made the mistake of clicking the link. I KNEW it was a bad plan, but I was raised by cats and so my curiosity gets the better of me a lot, and so I clicked it anyway.

    Then I punched my monitor, managed to close the browser (barely, the adrenaline spike took out my ability to oh, feel my fingers), and spent the next half an hour on cuteoverload.com, because it was after midnight and I HAD been about to go to bed.

    Well done? Sweet fishies…

  115. I watched that psycho thing and was only half really paying attention. Blood pressure still spiked.

    Mary recently posted Santa Carolina Carmenere.

  116. procatinator is awesomesauce…. I can’t count how many hours I’ve spent on that damn website. I think it was Pee Wee Herman who posted it to twitter forever and a day ago and ever since then I’ve had it bookmarked.

  117. Not only are my cats lazy, they think I’m a bed and that they have a time share on my lap. http://beingsmokey.blogspot.com/2013/04/were-all-beds-to-cats.html

    Smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..

  118. So, I’m pretty sure having your blood pressure go from 120 to 400 in a millisecond is, if not fatal, beneficial for your heart in some way. I knew better, I clicked, I watched, I sucked an entire couch up my ass, I recovered. If all the plaque hasn’t been powerwashed out of my blood vessels by that, I don’t know what it’ll take.

    But.

    At 2 AM when I had to get up to pee, that’s when it came back to haunt me. You feel awfully vulnerable walking through your own house in the dark when even the cartoon-ghost-sensing dogs are asleep, and the only live thing in the house is the cat, which is shady as fuck and would side with the cartoon ghost if she caught you with your jammy pants down. Damn.

  119. Why why why did I click on the link for the scary thing???? I hate horror movies and I get scared super easily and yet I still clicked on it and started reading! WTF is wrong with me???? I literally ducked my head and covered my eyes when the lady turns around and yet I kept reading…stopped reading after the second “surprise” Now all I can see is that face…Jesus Christ I am so freaked out right now…

    PS I love you Jenny!

  120. My cat has somehow learned how to say, ‘fuck off, fat ass,’ in English. It’s the ‘fat ass’ part that hurts.

    Damien recently posted The King of Uncool.

  121. the scary shit reminded me of this movie http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0482599/. if you haven’t seen it, it’s some scary shit that I think you would love. p.s. – your cats are awesome.

    monica recently posted Bad things happen in 3's...or 13's...or 33's. But who's counting?.

  122. Holy crap! That comic was freaky!

  123. Seriously. I haven’t jumped out of my seat like that for years!

  124. 127
    Elizabeth

    Didn’t scream at the link – mostly because I don’t want to startle the cat with very sharp claws who’s currently sleeping on my lap – but it was a close thing.

  125. Jesus H holy eff-ing crap, that just scared the living shit daylights out of me. I just nearly threw my computer off of my lap on to the floor, and now I am going to assume the fetal position in a corner of the couch until someone else comes home and rescues me.

  126. Has anyone ever told you you’re funny? You should really consider branching out from documentary work.

    Julie the Wife recently posted Happy Memorial Day Weekend Wifers!.

  127. That was pretty freaky. Thanks for sharing! Love a good sunday afternoon scare.

    Joanne recently posted Signs you might be a control freak.

  128. 131
    Mary Ram

    Holy mother, that was weird. How do you even find that shit?

  129. That Japanese web comic thing SCARED THE LIFE OUT OF ME!

    Also, Chris Hadfield is amazing. Because who wouldn’t want to record Bowie in Space?!

    Oh and that Tardis dress you pinned is incredible. If I had £400 to spare I would get one. And then throw lots of fancy dress parties so that I could wear it all the time.

    That is all.

    Nat recently posted Jive Night: the Doggone Honkabillies.

  130. What has been seen cannot be unseen … unless you live in denial and listen to lots of Bowie, followed by some Queen.

    Lynn recently posted What Not to Say to a Job Searcher.

  131. Based on the comments, I WILL NOT be looking at the Japanese cartoon thingy. I’m already scared of aliens, I don’t need to also be scared of whatever-the-hell is on the other side of that link.

    How the eff did you manage to capture your cats yawning at the same time??? Did you hover over them with a camera for 82 hours? Or are yawns contagious in cats like they are in humans, so you really only had to wait for one to yawn? Or did you pretend yawn and that was enough to get them going?

    Kristen Mae at Abandoning Pretense recently posted Why I'm Thankful to be a Stay-at-Home Mom.

  132. I refuse to say anything negative about your cats for fear of reprisals once they conquer the world, Jenny.
    Cats rule.

  133. Next year you think it would be fun to be our Rutabaga Queen for our infamous Memorial Day Kinetic Sculpture race? We need to class it up a bit and I think you are just the ticket! We’d love to have a celebrity come and class us up!
    http://www.kineticgrandchampionship.com

  134. It was both stupid AND scared the shit out of me. I love it when things are “both…and…” instead of “either…or…”

    MILF Runner recently posted Who gets the FREE CHIA? Probably not YOU..

  135. Completely scared me. The sound effects didn’t help at all. Ugh. Nightmares tonight!

  136. 139
    Elizabeth

    I had to walk through the house in the dark last night, and kept looking behind me. Stupid scary cartoon. Now my daughter wants to watch it, but I won’t let her. Even though I want to share the fear.

  137. 140
    emacsomancer

    We have two cats; one is typically catlike in this sort of behaviour. The other does in fact come running when we call her, particularly if my wife calls her. Or if my wife is yelling or crying — that cat runs to see what is wrong. Also, if my wife laughs — the cat doesn’t know the difference between laughing and crying..

  138. Your cats remind me so deeply of my cats … they breath air and they both have ears.

    *GASP*

    But no: My cat (named Mouse, didn’t see how ironic it was until it stuck) doesn’t love anyone except for my beautiful fluffy flip flops.

    I WANTED THOSE.

    Your cats are my cats spirit animals. Accept it.

  139. I have been reading through the comments, to see if that thing freaked anyone else out. I now want to watch it *again* to see if it still makes me screech. And I know it will. Why would I want to do that to myself? I don’t understand my brain.

  140. This is their way of flipping you off…one little claw at a time. I hope you showed them and had them de-clawed. :-)

    Ranting Seriously recently posted Nothing says Memorial Day like Jell-o shots!.

  141. So, I got up because I couldn’t sleep…figure I check things out, have a few laughs…then I had to click on the link with all the warnings about it being scary. As I am watching the little voice in my hear is screaming at me the same way I used to scream at the dumb people that went toward the creepy noise in the old horror movies. Now – I am still not sleepy, but having a hell of a time not imagining things moving in the shadows.

    But I know I would do it again in a heartbeat!

  142. Sad freaky story that, but on a more positive note how cute are your cats … look like they pretty much run the show

    GazD recently posted Get Yourself Seen.

  143. I once had a cat who I am convinced was a dog in her previous life she used to go walking with me and she would come running when I called her. The cats that I have now are like yours they pretend not to hear me. They sit and stare at our food when we are eating, when we turn to look at them they turn their heads and pretend they were never looking.

    Vivian recently posted When my child was a super hero..

  144. BRB, sending that link to everyone I’ve ever met, now that I’m done cleaning the shit out of my pants.

  145. I totally love cats! I have 2 and they’re amazing. I just wish I have captured every time they make their “You will die” faces ’cause that’s the most epic their faces can get! I also can’t get over how cute your cats are. What are their names?

  146. Holy crap — that totally scared the shit out of me. Why didn’t I listen to you??? Now I must send it to everyone I know, so they will also be forced to clean out their shitty pants.

  147. Jenny, I discovered a store you would love! You definitely need a taxidermy giraffe! Victor can thank me later.
    http://www.woollymammothchicago.com/pictures/virtual-tour/

  148. OMG. I wanted to come back and be all, “OMG why did you do that to me!?!” But then I remembered that you did, in fact, warn us. And so when my heart returns to normal beating speed I will go on about the rest of my day. Oy.

    Quirky Chrissy recently posted I Was Born on Memorial Day.

  149. Your cats and my dog are the new Fight Club.

    Rhana @ Dumb {Squared} recently posted I'd take credit for flat tires if I could.

  150. 153
    ElizabethW

    Not scared. Really. I thought it was kind of stupid but in a well done stupid way. And the funny part that no one seems to mention: “…looked as if all her joints in her body had been twisted. WORSE YET, HER HAIR WAS A MESS AND STICKING OUT TO EVERYWHERE.” Sorry about the all caps, I don’t know how to underline here. Yep, it IS really scary when a person’s hair is a mess and sticking out to everywhere!

  151. That did, indeed, scare the shit out of me. And I’m reminded why I HATED “The Grudge”…not because it was a terribly scary movie, but because my dog makes the same goddamned sounds as that ishy ghost woman when he’s snoring sometimes. Sigh. And he sleeps in the closet. Ishka.

    Jess recently posted Ole!.

  152. Lucky me I was at work while I clicked the link, so sound was off and the window was a small one, or I would have been very scared indeed.

    Mexmom recently posted Random things.

  153. I have only ever had cats that behaved like dogs so I am not sure what I would do with ones that ignored me…LOL

    Mishka recently posted All Connected.

  154. I’m beginning to believe that cats are actually aliens here to study us. And secretly sending jokes about us back to their masters.

    Geek Goddess recently posted My First Betel Nut: Adventures in Papua New Guinea.

  155. Cats are our reminder that it’s probably a good thing we can’t read the minds of animals. Sometimes it’s best to just not know why someone urinated on the couch, in our purse, on my shoes, etc. The answer would probably not lead to us, you know, cuddling with them.

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted Cocoamoda: Chocolates.

  156. That cat picture made me laugh so hard. Lol.

    Which made up for the fact that I about wet my pants watching that video. Thank you for that. :P

    Sarah B. recently posted 10 Things I Would Prefer to Not Memorialize from This Weekend.

  157. That third photo is amazing. How did you get them to do that? Are you magic?

  158. Ah, cat pictures. It seems like these should get old after awhile, but I can’t seem to get enough. I never pictured myself as someone who enjoys looking at pictures of other people’s cats.

    Amanda recently posted Bad Drivers Unite! (And then go somewhere else.).

  159. Holy Shit. That friggin comic scared the Hellabujeezus out of me. My hubs is on night shift. Kitties are climbing the screens on the porch. Bwahahhahahahbugghahahahhahaaaaaaaaaaaa……………

    No really, that shit was scary as hell.

    Woman_on_Pause recently posted Pop-Korn.

  160. Well now I’ve read the comments and I feel like I have to follow the link but I’m too scared. But then again maybe what I’m imagining is worse that it actually is? I can’t handle the suspense…WHAT IS IT?!

    Bea recently posted Worry about yo'self..

  161. Ok yeah ghost lady was spooky and slightly off putting. I think even more so cause I wasn’t expecting the cartoon to do that. Procrastinator totally made up for it though. Your first photos are pretty much why I simultaneously really want cats and really don’t. I appreciate independent animals but when I hang out and do pet human things I don’t want to have to convince them to hang out lol.

    Southern Girl recently posted Results, Updates and Oddly Tittilated.

  162. Wow…do you really read all of these comments??!! Impressive…as for your interview with Elizabeth Banks…totally fucking rocked….just thought I’d say that.

  163. Reminds me of my kids…

    leanne tankel recently posted Are You There Life Coach…It’s Me…Again…(Sorry).

  164. Cats are evil.

    That is all.

    Naked Girl in a Dress recently posted A Failed Relationship: Who is to Blame?.

  165. I really want to click the link and then I read the comments and decided against… I’m the biggest chicken shit ever. I couldn’t even have someone tell me about a scary movie last night because then my imagination turns into a fucking crazy person and runs off. Hell I can’t even watch Dexter before bed without dreaming about murdering people…

    Annette DiGiacomo recently posted Coworkers and online dating….

  166. I find it ridiculously awesome that both of the cats yawned (or laughed, either way) at the same time AND you caught it on film.

    Kate recently posted About his T-Rex arms.

  167. I scrolled through that damn comic and now THE HAIR ON THE BACK OF MY NECK WILL NOT GO BACK DOWN. Thanks a lot.

  168. Oh holy christ! Welcome back, nightmares I haven’t had for a while……

    Kelly recently posted Sooo..... Umm.... Happy New Year and some junk.....

  169. Commander Chris Hadfield is beyond awesome. <3

    Elwyne recently posted Work in progress.

  170. LOL, that link scared the absolute heck out of my guinea pig. I’m SO going to try to videotape her reaction to it and see if it makes her freak out again. That’ll teach her to snoop over my shoulder while I’m internetting…

  171. you know what?

    next time, when you say, “dudes, this will scare the shit out of you”… I’M TAKING THE EVER-LOVIN’ HINT THAT IT’S FARKING SCARY!

    and tonight may be one of those, sleep-with-a-few-battery-powered-candles-so-I’m-not-in-the-dark-but-my-husband-will-think-it’s-all-romantical-without-the-fire-concern…

  172. Those aren’t cats. Those are my children, cleverly disguised in cat costumes.

    And the creepy link just reminded me of all of the stories we used to tell at camp. It would have been a lot scarier if told while sitting around a campfire with flickery shadows and scary noises coming from the woods. Somehow it just seemed a little sad, sitting there on the webpage, waiting for me to scroll down.

  173. Ahhh so much cute :3

    Daniel J. Hogan recently posted The Cat Hockey League Original Six.

  174. Jesus J Christ that scared the crap out of me! I stupidly watched it just before I went to bed, what an idiot!

    Vicky recently posted New Outfit of the Day Post.

  175. You have fallen into the fallacy that cats should come when you call their names.

    I solved that one the first day: Cats HATE it when you whistle. When the two kittens came in the front door, whenever I’d call them from another room, I’d go: “Come here! *whistle shrilly*”

    They ALWAYS come. They can’t help it. They want that whistling to STOP!!!!

    Grey :)

  176. LOL Trying to make a cat do ANYTHING is an exercise in futility. They choose us, not the other way around.

    Also? Those taxidermied animals you linked are actually quite cool. More art than “i just scraped this off the highway and decided it would look good on a shelf. I need some classy art.”

    Oh and did you see this video by the ISS Commander? It’s AWESOME. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvAnfi8WpVE

    Shan @ Last Shreds Of Sanity recently posted And We Have The Eye Roll….

  177. Thank you for linking to that crazy terrifying thing. Will never be sleeping ever again.

  178. hahahaha, loved the interview!

    Wupppy recently posted Perfect shot.

  179. I love your book – in fact I told everyone I know (and a lot of people I don’t know) about it: http://askmissa.com/2013/06/03/review-of-lets-pretend-this-never-happened-a-mostly-true-memoir-by-jenny-lawson/
    Thanks for the entertainment! Would love to have a copy of my own since I got your book from the library and now that I wrote the review, I will need to get it back for others to enjoy!
    Cheers! You are great! Kathy

    kathy recently posted Corporate Philanthropy: Sephora.

  180. That link! I freaked out and closed the whole browser. Thanks for making me lose all my tabs. I’m trying to be productive here…

    Shary recently posted Help Fix Smiles by Renting Your Books this Semester!.

  181. I am totally NOT going to click on the scary link. I will not recover, but I have LOVED all the comments. I am crying laughing!! These are some of the best in a long time! Love it!

  182. I’m so sorry I didn’t get a chance to meet Hunter when I was recently in Austin. I was there to catsit my sister’s two orange boys…uh cats…we (my sister and I) say “What good boys” in that kind of way pet people talk.

    Loved the book.

    PS: Trivia for you (Jenny): I share a birthday (not date) with a Austin writer you are friends/friendly with. She and I grew up in the same city (in Mass.). She worked for my mother at the public library. Points to figure out who she is, bonus points for figuring out my last name. :-)

    (Hmmm…Broderick? ~ Jenny)

  183. Well, I did it to myself. But, fortunately, I had the good sense to stop when the head turned around. I’m watching Seinfeld and reading your blog and looking at Cat Saturday on thechive.com and trying to forget the face that made my insides clench and stop for just a moment.

    Dear god…WHY DON’T I EVER LISTEN??

  184. Private to Jenny:
    Nope, not Broderick.
    – I share a birthdate with Elizabeth McCracken. That pretty much gives it away, ’cause if you contact her she’ll remember pretty quickly (I think) (who I am – not that it really matters).

    My sister Amy (who introduced me to your blog and loaned me your book which she has to do as we’re the children of a librarian) had her gallbladder out a few years back. She doesn’t blog much any more (just checked, no gallbladder related entries, maybe they were in her older blog which got lost to out-of-business server).

    Be well, or as well as you can be,
    Matt

    PS: You got a gazillion posts, so unreal you go through them.

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