Don’t drink out of toilets. That’s the lesson I learned on this trip.

First off: This is a sponsored post and I’m telling you now because it seems shitty to read a whole post and then at the end get a “HEY, THIS IS AN AD” but you should read this one because at the end one of you will win a shitload of money because the sponsor is Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen and they want you to get out and have a bad-ass road trip that doesn’t end in cancer.  WHO CAN HATE ON THAT?  No one.  So let’s begin.

Blue Lizard (who I love and have used for years) asked if they could sponsor a post and my first response was the same one I always have for that question, which was, “I don’t really do that” but then they said “You can write whatever you want” and I was like “Can I write about ghost hunting?” and they were like, “Sure.  But that seems like something you wouldn’t need sunscreen for since ghost come out at night” and I had to explain that ghosts don’t sleep in the day because they aren’t vampires and it got too complicated so instead I was like, “How about I go on a road trip to fucked up places I never knew existed?” and they were like, “That sounds weird.  But good?” And then I was all, “AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ONE OF MY READERS A CHANCE TO SEE FUCKED UP SHIT TOO?” and they were like, “Okay.  But, um…define ‘fucked-up‘?” and I was like, “Don’t worry about it, Lizards.  I GOT THIS.”

And I did.  Because it gave me the perfect excuse to do a family road trip weirdo-style.  So I set up a road trip agenda to take us to the world’s largest pistachio nut and then Victor was like, “Or we could actually take Hailey to see something worthwhile, like The Grand Canyon or a National Park” and I was like, “Well, I guess we can do both if big nuts aren’t good enough for you” so we did.  You may have seen some of this on instagram but I saved the best stuff for this post.  Let’s start:

First off we flew to El Paso, which slightly seems like breaking the rules of a “road trip”, but driving from the middle of Texas to the end of Texas takes 480 years.

Photo 1: please prepare for lift-off. Photo 2: ladies and gentlemen, we've run out of rum.

Photo 1: please prepare for lift-off. Photo 2: ladies and gentlemen, we’ve run out of rum.

Then we drove toward New Mexico.

Dust storms: the most exciting thing I've seen in 3 hours is mobile dirt.

Dust storms: the most exciting thing I’ve seen in 3 hours is mobile dirt.

Then we hit Arizona:

Arizona dust storm. Much more exotic than the New Mexico or Texas variants.

Arizona dust storm. Much more exotic than the New Mexico or Texas variants.

That’s when I took control of the agenda and gave Victor directions to see the gravestone of Rex Allen’s famous horse.

Visited a famous horse grave? Check. (Hailey: This is a weird vacation. Me: And we are weird people.)

Visited a famous horse grave? Check. (Hailey: “This is a weird vacation.” Me: “And we are weird people.”)

Then we saw a billion billboards for “THE THING”.  What is “THE THING”?  Excellent question.  And one we asked ourselves for the next several hours as we saw a sign for it every mile.  Victor attempted to not go see THE THING because he’s the kind of guy who never opened up his digital alarm to see if there were squirrels in it (there weren’t) so Hailey and I screamed in protest until he pulled in to the gas station where you buy tickets to see The Thing.

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WHAT IS THE THING?! I’m not telling you.  Because that ruins the mystery. But I will say we got to walk through two separate trailer parks to see it. It was very thingy.

My reaction: “Huh.”

Hailey’s reaction: “Whoa.”

Victor’s reaction: “JESUS CHRIST.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK.”

On the way to see THE THING we walked by 100 gourds carved to look like monsters and also a shocking amount of home-made torture-related displays.  I sort of thought we might get murdered  (spoiler alert: we didn’t).

"Fucked up road trip stuff?" CHECK.

“Fucked up road trip stuff?” CHECK.

Next stop was Tombstone, Arizona, where we made a shitload of movie references that no one else seemed to get.

Tombstone: Cheesy, but fun. Terrible margaritas.

Tombstone: Home of campy fun and the worst margarita I’ve ever had in my whole life.

We did some ghost tours in Tombstone but the only thing that showed up on my camera was this weird orb that I kept getting at Boot Hill, which was either a ghost or a moth.  Or a moth’s ghost.  Can’t rule anything out when it comes to the supernatural.

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The next day I took over the navigation.

Unexpected joys of a road trip. "VICTOR! STOP! VAMPIRE STRIP CLUB!"

Unexpected joys of a road trip. “VICTOR! STOP! VAMPIRE STRIP CLUB!”

Then we stopped at Rooster Coburn’s Ostrich Farm and they had a big wall with holes where goats stick their heads out so it looks like you have live, taxidermied goat heads.  Or like giant glory holes but with goats instead of penises.

This goat liked to eat food out of people's mouths. It's what I imagine a strip club is like, except the goat's lips are like boobs. Or butts. Depends on the strip-club. And on flexibility. Either way it felt dirty but also exciting and later I was worried I picked up a disease. So, a lot like a strip-club, probably.

This goat liked to eat food out of people’s mouths. It’s a little like what I imagine a strip club is like, except replace dollar bills with goat food.  And goat’s lips are boobs. Or butts. Depends on the strip-club. And on flexibility. Either way, it felt dirty but also exciting and later I was worried I picked up a disease. So, a LOT like a strip-club, probably.

Then we saw the ostriches who were all surrounded by “WE’LL BITE YOU” signs and I was like, “Yo, I’ll be careful” but right then this asshole slams his head over the fence, slaps me with his own face, and grabs my whole bag of goat food and shatters my thumbnail.  Like, literally he drew blood.

This fucker just assaulted me and now he's acting like I'M the one who started it. YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I DID NOTHING TO YOU. #RestingTrumpFace

This fucker just assaulted me and now he’s acting like I’M the one who started it. YOU DON’T KNOW ME. I DID NOTHING TO YOU. #RestingTrumpFace

Then on the way to the next stop I saw that there was something pretty awesome a half hour away.

Flaccid penis rock or haunted former asylum in a ghost town? I'M NOT PREPARED TO MAKE DECISIONS OF THIS MAGNITUDE. (But apparently Victor is.)

Flaccid penis rock or haunted former asylum in a ghost town? I’M NOT PREPARED TO MAKE DECISIONS OF THIS MAGNITUDE. (But apparently Victor is.)

So we missed the stone schlong that so we could go to the haunted Grand Hotel in Jerome, Arizona.

I walked in and almost passed out. Probably from altitude sickness though.

I walked in and almost passed out. Probably from altitude sickness though.  I didn’t see any ghosts.

It was a weird town.  Half awesome and half threatening.

In hindsight, it was maybe not the smartest idea to pull over to get a better picture of this sign

In hindsight, it was maybe not the smartest idea to pull over to get a better picture of this sign

Next morning we took off on a train to see the Grand Canyon.  It was one of those trains where old-west train robbers board the train and mug you and I thought that sounded like fun and also that if I stole all the hootch in the booze car I could blame it on bandits, but then it turned out there wasn’t even a booze car and I reminded myself why Victor shouldn’t be allowed to book trains and also I wondered why trains even existed.  But it was surprisingly cool.

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And it ended with a stop at the Grand Canyon, which is basically an enormous hole.  But a pretty hole?  Sorry.  They should have sent a poet.

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The most memorable part of the Grand Canyon though was the toilet.

Why do we need to be told not to drink from the toilet? Why is this sign necessary?

“DO NOT DRINK”  Why do we need to be told not to drink from the toilet? Why is this sign even necessary?

I thought it was just a weird one-off thing, but then further up the canyon trail I saw this:

"WATER TOILET." You're giving mixed messages here, Grand Canyon.

“WATER TOILET.” You’re giving mixed messages here, Grand Canyon.

And it was nice to see something that everyone talks about, but honestly Antelope Canyon was so much cooler and I highly recommend.  It started with an authentic Native American hoop dance in the eaves of a non-functional gas station in front of a Taco Bell.  Then we loaded into the back of a truck like it was the 70’s and when we got there it was one of the most amazing things I’ve seen.  Go there.

I TOOK THIS WITH MY PHONE.

I TOOK THIS WITH MY PHONE.

Then we sent to see a giant meteor crater in Arizona.

Meteor Crater in Arizona. Arizona has cornered the market on big holes, y'all.

Meteor Crater in Arizona. Arizona has cornered the market on big holes, y’all.

We saw the Petrified Forest, which is the least foresty forest ever:

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And the Valley of Fire Lava Fields, which were not on fire and the Smokey the Bear museum where they buried Smokey, and the jail where Billy the Kid shot his way out, White Sands National Park in New Mexico, which is all beach and no giant octopuses.  We stopped on the side of the road to see giant, 10-foot tall zombie hands outside of a cave that sold knick knacks.

Veiny.

Veiny.

And finally we were at the end, as we celebrated the biggest pistachio nut IN THE WORLD.

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And it was magical.  And ridiculous.  And an excellent chance to see the world (or at least a small part of it) with my favorite people.  And none of us got sunburned because we were covered in Blue Lizard.  I highly recommend.  The trip, that is.  And the sunscreen.  They aren’t mutually exclusive.

So here’s the fun part.  Leave a comment about something awesome you’d like to go visit and the best comment will get a $500 VISA card from Blue Lizard to use on your next road trip.  Also, you can use coupon code P20ROADTRIP for 20% OFF orders over $35 at www.bluelizard.net all through 2016.

Leave a comment y’all.  (PS. Use a good email so I can contact you if you win.  I won’t use your email or give it out for anything else so no worries about spam. Also, they can only ship the prize to the U.S.  Just FYI.)

Updated:  WE HAVE A WINNER!

I would love the $500 to contribute to my family’s awesome road trip scheduled this summer! (Also, I have had repeated occurrences of melanoma, so I am basically slathered in sunscreen 24/7 from April thru October.)
Here are the stops on our planned road trip: Orient Mine -to watch hundreds of thousands of bats fly out for dinner at dusk. Colorado Gator Reptile Park (because alligators in Colorado); Great Sand Dunes National Park (sand boarding and sledding, with fantastic views) ; Best Western Movie Manor (drive in movies you watch from your hotel room); River rafting in Durango; Choco Canyon in New Mexico; Roswell, New Mexico to hang out with aliens; Carlsbad, New Mexico (more bats, maybe some ghosts) and then back home (with an overnight stop along the way to visit a cemetery in Pueblo, where my great, great grandfather was buried in 1901). ~ Tracy

Check your email, Tracy.

1,604 replies. read them below or add one

  1. That trip sounds awesome! I want to go to New Orleans and do some sweet ghost tours!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm, good question! I’d like to go see the Grand Canyon some day. Also In-N-Out in CA, if that counts😉 I’ve been but it’s delicious.

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    Liz @ Yes/No Films recently posted Movie Review: Money Monster.

  3. OK so it’s not really all that much of a trip since it’s in my state, and probably not even far from me, but there’s something called Foamhenge here which is like a foam version of Stonehenge. Who doesn’t want to see that?

    (There’s a miniature version of Stonehenge in my state and I totally have it on my list. I imagine the set decoration from Spinal Tap. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I want to drive around Louisiana until I can find the best real life version of Lester’s Possum Park that I can. Extra bonus if we are accosted by a disco loving bigfoot in the process!

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  5. A kick-ass road trip like that is on my bucket list, for sure. I feel the need to see an enormous hole.

    Liked by 3 people

  6. I knew this trip was happening, I just had no idea how totally and utterly awesome it was. I love everything about it. The pictures are phenomenal!

    Hubs and I have been wanting to take a road trip through various parts of New England, where we live, to different parts of the US where we can mine our own gems. We want to end up in Crater of Diamonds State Park (http://www.craterofdiamondsstatepark.com/) in Arkansas after hitting Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, and possibly a few other places as well. We’ll bring the dogs, dig in the dirt, and hopefully find some pretty, pretty rocks along the way.

    We don’t know when this will happen, but someday. If we have time we might even tack on a leg to Utah for fossil hunting.

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    Kelly and Geoff recently posted I really hate the Sons of the Harpy – here’s why.

  7. What a fabulous, weird, awesome trip! My fantasy family road trip is to take a whole summer and drive to all the national parks . . . or at least all the ones in the continental US. And take many detours along the way to follow weird billboards. $500 won’t cover it all . . . but it’s would be a start! (And I love Blue Lizard too! I’ve tested many mineral sunscreens for my son who is allergic to the regular stuff. It’s the best for going on easily, not leaving him looking like a ghost, and not rinsing off immediately in water.)

    Liked by 1 person

  8. The Hockey Hall of Fame is on my list of places to go. I wonder though, if it smells as bad as i imagine. Hockey is stinky! Old hockey must be positively rank.

    I’d drive through Iowa, and stop at the 2-Mit Wagon in Elkader, IA. They put drugs in the meat to make you crave them.

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  9. I’m not a good traveler myself, but like to live vicariously through other people’s vacation pics. Good to see a furiously happy raccoon at the Grand Canyon! I also would have gone to see the penis rock, just because.

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  10. One small town over from the small town I live in is a sign:

    CHEESE
    HIP HOP
    SPIRITUAL ADVICE

    Yes, all on one sign. How have I lived here and not stopped for this combo?

    Liked by 2 people

    notquiteold recently posted The Name Game.

  11. 11
    daigle7209

    Your trip looks great! This post reminds me of Neil Gaiman’s American God’s where he claims that while in other countries they found holy places and built churches, in America we found holy places and built roadside attractions, like Things and giant Pistachios. I’ve only ever been to one – South of the Border, which was awesome. If I won I’d want to go on a grand tour of American Roadside Attractions!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Oooh. I would want to do an American Gods road trip and see all the weird places in that story. Like:
    House on the Rock in Spring Green, WI
    Rock City in Lookout Mountain, GA
    search for the World Tree (one hour south of Blacksburg, VA)

    Liked by 3 people

  13. Your trip sounds crazy and wonderful. I’ve been to most of those places since I lived in Arizona for 9 years but we are going back this summer to the Grand Canyon to show the kids who were too young to remember – so we will definitely need sunscreen and $500 would help pay for hotels for 10 people (two of which are too young to remember this trip in 20 years as well – so see it is perpetual like that!)

    Like

  14. I really need to go to North Dakota. It is the only state I haven’t been to and I’m not sure how it got missed on cross-country trips growing up. Though I am also a little apprehensive about it….what if my sole purpose in living is to visit all 50 states and I drop dead when I get there? I am willing to take the risk.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. I’m not sure if I’m eligible for the prize being South African but I’d like to go to Cape Town. My favourite holiday as a child was in Cape Town. And I’d like to return in my “adultier” form and truly enjoy it.

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  16. I’d like to take my son on an east coast road trip visiting the best comic shops.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. this is awesome!

    I want to go to Alaska when its light for 24 hours. Because that just sounds like something that would be neat to experience once!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I want to go to the Hallerbos Forest in Belgium. It’s carpeted with Bluebells. Sounds magical.
    http://www.boredpanda.com/hallerbos-bluebell-forest-nature-photography/

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  19. 19
    Halie Nowakowski

    I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO THE WORLD’S MOST SCENIC URINAL because that is ultimately the dream. I would rub the sunscreen on myself and the urinal so it would stop getting so pissed (yes, I had to) that no one thought to cover it with sunscreen. I think doing so would help more people than just me and Mr. Urinal so this is ultimately for the betterment of mankind.

    Liked by 2 people

  20. I have so many places I want to visit. Domestic travel top two are the mountains of upstate NY and all the big old houses along the Hudson River and Northern California including San Fransisco and wine country. And sunscreen is a must. I burn super quickly, never tan, then go back to vampire worthy pale.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. You guys make weird look fun and interesting and educational (in the life skills “don’t drink from the toilet” kind of way, not the useless algebra way). When I grow up, I want to take road trips like you. And I’m 48.

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  22. OMG My husband and I were JUST talking about taking a trip like this!!! Except I’m not sure what cool stuff there is between NJ and the Grand Canyon. I’ve never seen it and I really want to go. We kind of lamed out on vacations with my 9 year old cause we’re broke the past two years, and I thought an awesome road trip would be perfect!!! Except I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in Ohio, because Ohio.

    Is that an app or a web site you used to find the penis rock? Does it find other cool stuff nearby, or just penis rocks? 😂 Either way, I feel like I need it in my life.

    Liked by 2 people

  23. I want to go back to Kansas and see the world’s deepest well. It when I was eleven, but I don’t think I truly appreciated the experience.

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  24. I want to take my family to DC this year. We have already seen Tiny Town in Hot Springs Arkansas one too many times.🙂

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  25. I want to fly to CA, then rent a JUCY rv (check them out, so cool) and drive up to northern California to Redwood National Forest. What’s cooler than enormous trees? And, of course, hit up some wineries along the way. And hey, since you can just pull over and sleep in the car/rv when you’ve had too much, it’s a win-win!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. 26
    the real Jennifer

    I’ve lived in Georgia for 7 years and still haven’t made it to the Okefenokee Swamp. Can you imagine how much fun it would be to have to say Okefenokee all the time? And not have a sunburn? Pure bliss.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Several friends and I have talked about a road trip featuring this place, which honestly seems right up your alley, too:

    http://www.isladelasmunecas.com/

    It apparently started out as some sort of memorial for a child who had drowned, then people started adding more dolls, then eventually it spiraled completely out of control and now it’s the Island of the Creepy-Ass Misfit Toys.

    (I saw it on Destination Truth and I totally want to go. I think it’s private property though. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

    Cobwebs recently posted The Necrocard.

  28. 28
    Kris pepin

    Id love to see zion national park. What is it about giant rocks that screams ”majesty”?

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  29. Your road trip sounds like it was a very fun adventure. I want to take a trip to DC and see the smaller museums… I’ve already been to all of the monuments and stuff, but I hear that there is a bunch of odd museums… so I want to do that. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  30. My husband and I starting to plan a long camping/road trip to New England at the end of August, and we are realky hoping to take a side trip to see the Interrnational Cryptozoology Museum in Portland!!

    I’ve seen three Fiji Mermaids, but I won’t be happy until I’ve seen at least a dozen, not to mention all the other cryptids that probably don’t exist but ABSOLUTELY are real when I’m camping and hear any noise whatsoever outside my tent. They may not be real when I go out to check, so it’s kind of like Schroedinger’s Cat, but I’m the one in the box. And alive. I hope. (Or is the box the rest of the universe and the inside of my tent is everything outside of the box? My brain hurts. I think hugging Bigfoot might help. Also learning how to self-censor.)

    Liked by 4 people

  31. Alaska during them summer would definitely require the Lizard. Hopefully is will also scare off any Palins, I mean varmits…

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  32. ZOMBIE HANDS!!!! My kiddo and I have been talking a lot about road trips we’d love to take — mainly they involve animals, and playing with animals, and loving animals, and how we can hang out with animals, basically. So our dream road trip would be to hang out at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah, where the national org is based and where they have ALL THE ANIMALS and do lots of great rehabilitation and loving of animals! (P.S. I’m buying some Blue Lizard as soon as I get off work, and hoping that it’ll bring some sunny-day mojo into my life here in the gloomy Northeast.)

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  33. I’ve really wanted to see the Grand Canyon and Mt. Rushmore. My husband grew up in Arizona, and his reaction was less than enthusiastic. When I bring it up, he begins saying
    “Look kids: Grand Canyon. Mt. Rushmore” in the same voice as Chevy Chase used in Vacation ( Look kids: Big Ben. Parliment ). He contends: It’s a hole. I’m like : So are you, but now we’re just arguing semantics.

    Liked by 3 people

  34. What is the road trip app that was used to find the Phallic Rock? My husband and I are going on a road trip from VA to Montreal, and I want to find as many crazy “let’s-stop-there” places as possible!

    (It’s from RoadsideAmerica.com. It’s a bit hit-or-miss but when it’s successful it’s awesome. ~ Jenny)

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  35. I want to see the Amber Room in St. Petersburg, Russia, but I guess that isn’t a road trip unless the Bering Sea freezes over again, and since Global Warming may or may not exist, that’s kind of an iffy proposition.

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    Janet Coburn recently posted Mysteries Change, and So Do I.

  36. We’re moving to Japan on Saturday. I want to travel around and see all shrines and places Wolverine visits in the comic books. Yes, seriously. Love Wolverine and how cool would that be! I could even dress up in cosplay (although, I would have to be X-23), and pose.

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  37. My dream road trip would be to Astoria, OR to see locations where The Goonies was filmed. Truffle Shuffle anyone?!?

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  38. It’s really not that far away, but we have this horrible habit of not doing the things we say we are going to do….Anywho. I want a road trip to go to the Desert of Maine. Yep…Maine has a desert.

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  39. Love your posts Jenny! I stumbled across the Furiously Happy audiobook and was very glad that I did. For my own struggles with ADHD and anxiety, your book has become the book I go back to over and over again. If I’m in need of a pick me up after a bad day, I listen to the selfish cats chapter. There are so many chapters that resonate with me, and whatever the situation I find myself in, there’s something I can listen to and re-“read” that makes me feel a little less alone. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. (Where does that expression even come from? Is the bottom of the heart more meaningful than saying from the top? I mean, I guess the bottom of the heart would anatomically be the ventricles and they’re much stronger than the atria at the top. But is it from the bottom of the right or left ventricle? Because the right has deoxygenated blood so that seems in poor taste, so maybe I’m grateful from my left ventricle of oxygenated blood? I don’t know. But thank you for sharing your voice, and for providing endless addendums to sentences that resonate with my own inner thoughts!)

    I would love to take a road trip to Nova Scotia. I live in Massachusetts and I think it would be great to stop at a bunch of interesting places in Canada, but to arrive at the coast and see all those gorgeous green landscapes and to experience the Victoria-era parks seems like ot would be an awesome trip. I imagine that it may not be as popular a road trip destination as others, but I’ve always wanted to go, and maybe I’d be able to get more use out of my French than currently using it to ask the few French co-workers if I can borrow their lab supplies for my experiments.

    While this wouldn’t be a roadtrip destination, unless there’s also a ferry involved (and let’s face it, it would take 173738 years to drive/ferry there) I would love to to South Korea to visit my family. I haven’t been since I was three, and don’t remember or haven’t met the majority of the large gaggle of aunts/uncles/cousins/family from my mother’s side.

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  40. Is there a Dusek Taxidermy Museum in Wall, TX?

    (Yes. It’s my dad’s taxidermy shop. A bit too bloody to be a museum though. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 2 people

  41. I’ve always wanted to visit Bat Cave, NC, because any time you have a chance to visit the Bat Cave, you should take it.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. The giant pistachio looks like a giant va-jayjay.

    Liked by 2 people

  43. 43
    steffanotta

    When I was a kid, our family would load up our giant Buick Park Avenue and take a 2 week driving trip to various locations. One year we went to the Grand Canyon. It was amazing. We took an airplane flight through the canyon. Just after breakfast but before leaving for our flight through the canyon (which I’ve heard isn’t done anymore) we saw park maintenance driving through the park with a dead squirrel at the end of the hook. Apparently, the maintenance truck took the corner too fast because when they turned, right in front of where we were standing, the squirrel’s guts flew out of the squirrel and landed on the street at our feet. It was hilarious and disgusting. This was probably the HIGHLIGHT of that trip. Ahh the memories.

    I’d like to take my husband and son on a trip to the Grand Canyon too, but without the squirrel guts.

    Plus, I’ll be checking out the Blue Lizard products because my husband is a ginger and gets sunburned just thinking about going outside in the sunlight. Thanks!!

    steffanotta@yahoo.com

    Liked by 1 person

  44. 44
    Jamie McMillan

    I would take my kids to Vancouver BC, Canada. We moved when my first was 1.5 and I miss it so much sometimes I dream about driving down the streets in North Vancouver.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. House on the Rock! Again! And I think you would love it if you haven’t been. http://www.travelwisconsin.com/entertainment-and-attractions/house-on-the-rock-attraction-203820

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  46. I was scheduled to take a road trip in June – before you announced yours – then your trip made me really jealous. Leaving from Denver – to Jackson Hole, WY then over to Yellowstone. To Sun Valley, Idaho to Salt Lake City and back to Denver. Driving a convertible – would love to promote Blue Lizard Sunscreen.

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  47. I want to go to Savanah and see all the cemeteries and architecture and places where revolutionary war and civil war stuff happened and eat all the food. But, mostly the cemeteries because I love wandering around really old ones. There is just so much history down there I feel like I could stay a month and not see it all!

    (That is totally on my bucket list. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  48. 48
    Allison titus

    The Canadian prairies are peppered with various “worlds biggest________” or random weirdness. Just to name a few: worlds biggest pierogi (on a giant fork), worlds biggest Easter egg, worlds first UFO landing pad, worlds largest beaver, and worlds largest dinosaur (you an actually climb up into the head and stand in the mouth, 25 m tall.
    It would make an awesome weird road trip.

    A complete list is found here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giants_of_the_Prairies

    Like

  49. 49
    Charity Caroline

    This was fab. I too saw THE THING on a road trip but thought it was profoundly sad and wanted my dollar back, but just because I didn’t want to have given a dollar to exploit said THING.
    I’m torn on my road trip idea – there’s a place in North Georgia I’d like to hit up, Talllulah Gorge (MORE GIANT HOLES?!), mostly because I hear there’s a general store nearby that has goats that live on the roof, and I like goats and seeing things in unexpected places; but also there’s a hotel in Americus GA that’s supposed to be SUPER haunted but it’s also SUPER pricey, and it’s within driving distance of the world’s largest peanut (MORE BIG NUTS?!), so I’d just have to flip a coin. But I’d be happy to have the option to do so!

    Like

  50. I want to go to Hawaii and make a blood sacrifice to the volcano god and pray for fertility. Unless those are two different gods.., ya’know I think a volcano god would appreciate a sacrifice, he probably doesn’t get many these days, and a volcano erupting is one of those euphemistic images, like rockets taking off, that mean ejaculation, so I think it would cover all the bases.

    Liked by 2 people

  51. 51
    Alysha H.

    Glad you hd such a good time! I would use the money to further explore my adopted state of California and see weird shit like the Winchester Mystery House, the secret sidewalk, the Court of Mysteries (a creepy house built only at night), the Mystery Spot (bonus points for pretending like I’m in a Supernatural episode while there), the school where Buffy was filmed, the World’s Largest Lemon, this cool beach where the ruins of this old town are all spread out and apocalypsey, and basically any other oddities I can fit into a road trip.

    (I saw the Winchester Mystery House last year when I was on tour and it was awesome. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  52. Well, I’ve seen the big hole, but I would love to just take a road trip thru the Carolinas and stop at little interesting places along the way. No plans, just drive and stop when we want!

    Liked by 1 person

  53. We’re headed on an 18 day road trip from California to Duluth in July! After Yellowstone and Mt. Rushmore, I am hoping to persuade the hubs to pull off the highway so we can see The Corn Palace (in Mitchell, SD) in all it’s glory.

    Like

  54. The Museum of Linoleum in Kirkcaldy, Scotland. I hear they have a bit of original lino from Paul McCartney’s old council house in Liverpool — if ever there was a need for a selfie, it’s with THAT in the background.

    Like

  55. I want to go to Niagra Falls, but I refuse to get married (again) to see it.

    Like

  56. My mom and I did a cross-country road trip after I finished college many, many years ago, and we drove through Kansas. The long way across. We saw signs every quarter mile for about 800 miles advertising the world’s largest groundhog. We were understandably pretty excited by the time we got there. But we drove up to the building, and it had closed literally 5 minutes before we got there. We thought about stopping overnight, but there were no hotels around (or anything else really), and we are not camping women, so we had to let go of that dream. It has haunted me ever since. I need to go back to Kansas to find out what that damn groundhog looks like.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. 57
    Anonymous

    I’d love to go to Banff National Park in Canada. Quiet, mountains and turquoise lakes. Plus, I need to check out the digs in Canada in case the Trump…..(I just can’t say it)… Anyway, Banff sounds lovely…..

    Liked by 1 person

  58. I’d like to take my Dad, who just recovered from his second stroke, to see the Very Large Array.
    Who knows, maybe we’ll see Jodie Foster out there looking for ET.

    http://www.vla.nrao.edu/

    -Duke

    Liked by 1 person

  59. Loved your travel stories and pictures!! I am dying to go to Portland Oregon and visit VooDoo Donuts. Not scenic, not nature-ish…. but DONUTS.

    Liked by 2 people

  60. Nighttime Bigfoot Search in Tennessee, it’s a thing – http://www.appalachianghostwalks.com
    Stop at every bourbon distillery on the way and out of the way
    And since I’d start from Texas, I definitely need to see the one-way glass walled public bathroom in Sulphur Springs
    How did you not get a picture of the signs in the Grand Canyon that say, “Don’t feed the squirrels because they carry the plague”?

    Like

  61. I want to see the Northern Lights in AK more than anything.

    Like

  62. 62
    Anonymous

    I’d like to visit Sydney, Australia since I named my daughter Sydney (and it seems like a beautiful and entertaining city).

    Like

  63. 63
    Naila M Bhatri

    My husband and I have been fascinated with ‘Door to Hell’ in Turkmenistan since we found out about it. I mean, a door to hell on Earth. What’s next, a stairway to heaven in Ulaanbaatar?

    Liked by 2 people

  64. We’re a motorcycle family and would love to make the trip to North Carolina to the Wheels Thru Time museum and see all the awesome old motorcycles.

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Oh, the signs and the evil ostrich were awesome. I want to visit the Big Potato. I think it would be less colourful than the big pistachio … But just as big. Craters would be impressive. But we don’t have any here in Australia… But I’d wear Blue Lizard Sunscreen while searching for them. I promise.

    Like

  66. We’ve always wanted to visit our friend who lives in Truth or Consequence, New Mexico. Yes, it’s a real town. They sold their name to a game show in the 60’s or something. Also there’s a place near there called Elephant Butte. Which I know it’s not pronounced butt but I still pronounce it butt. Apparently it’s a giant rock /small mountain in a lake that looks like an elephants ass. That’s something everyone should see at least once in their life.

    Liked by 2 people

  67. My 12-year-old just took a career aptitude test, and it came back that loving animals and art, and not wanting to work with people, adds up to being a taxidermist. And since receiving that career advice, she’s become mildly obsessed with taxidermied (is that a word? spell check says no) animals. So here’s our ultimate road trip: Taxidermy Hall of Fame of North Carolina Creation Museum.

    Liked by 1 person

  68. I want to do a road trip to West Virginia to see the trans-allegheny lunatic asylum to go ghost hunting, see the mothman statue and museum, and then see the unbelievable “mystery hole”.

    Like

  69. 69
    cassiebuchner

    I’d like to visit Sydney, Australia since I named my daughter Sydney (and it seems like a beautiful city to visit).

    Like

  70. 70
    Major Bedhead

    God, there are so many places I want to visit.

    I’d like to rent a red, 1968 convertible Beetle and do a Route 66 road trip and see all the weird things you can see along the way. I’d like to stay in cheesy theme motels along the way.

    I’d like to go to PEI because of my Anne of Green Gables obsession, and then visit Nova Scotia. I’ve never been to that part of Canada and it looks beautiful.

    I’d like to go to San Jose and see the Winchester Mystery House with my friend Kim, who is into everything spooky. In fact, doing a spooky road trip with her would be a blast.

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  71. 71
    CheeseheadSarah

    There is a circus museum in southern Wisconsin that I’ve never been to. I don’t particularly like clowns, but we could consider a visit there to be immersion therapy and I’ll be a better person in the end. There is also something called The House on the Rock. I hate heights, but as this is shaping up to be the Immersion Therapy Road Trip, I’ll head there, too. Afterwards, some rest and relaxation will have been earned, and a stop at the Sundara Spa in the Dells will be a nice wrap up.🙂

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  72. I would love to go on some ghost tours just about anywhere in the US – I love the idea of going anywhere – I’ll never be able to cross all the places on my list off. In fact, I hope you write another book and do signings just so I have reason to meet you – I would seriously drive 4 or more hours if I had to. But, at the moment I most want to go to Antietam and/or Gettysburg.

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  73. 73
    Jennifer N

    I’d like to see Wall Drug…I mean I’ve seen the signs for it near Kansas City, MO, but it’s all the way in South Dakota…dude – THAT’S commitment on the quality of the Drugs you have in your wall!!! Plus the Badlands…how bad are they really???

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  74. I’ve always wanted to visit Niagara Falls. It’s lots of really fast water. How could that not be cool?

    Like

  75. 75
    auntie beak

    already beat you guys to the giant pistachio and the octopus-free beaches in new mexico. i think my next trip is hiking in south dakota’s president-laden black hills.

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  76. Life goals involve making a stop in every country and state, but I really, really want to visit the Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic. And you may think you don’t need sunscreen to hang out and look at bones but I’m highly combustible and part vampire so slapping on the sunscreen is an important part of my life.

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  77. This is a no brainer…. Deep Fried Cheese Curds Road Trip. My daughter and I recently stumbled across one of those “Best Places For (fill in the blank)” lists for Wisconsin Cheese Curds (Deep fried, of course.). Having been long time cheese curd connoisseurs you can imagine our delight upon moving to Wisconsin to discover that Wisconsin deep fries everything (No, seriously… EVERYTHING) and Cheese Curds top the list of things they love to fry.

    Anyway, $500 should cover the expenses for gas, Deep Fried Cheese Curds, Sunblock (we’ll eat outside to enjoy the four days of Summer allotted to Wisconsin) and whatever digestive correction products we’ll require.

    Cheese Curds…. yummy.

    Liked by 1 person

  78. I would love to go to Avery Island, Louisiana and tour the McIlhenny Company Tabasco Farm. Wouldn’t that be great and Hot! Plus is it family owned and operated.

    Liked by 1 person

  79. I want to cross from from Nepal into Tibet—-maybe someday!

    Like

  80. I am a native Californian who is mock-mocked by my friends for never having been to Yosemite, but I’ve always wanted to go!

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  81. 81
    Mary Beth Hale

    I’d like to see the vampire bar Dusk to Dawn. one of my favorite Quentin Tarrantino movies!

    Like

  82. I would like to take my Mother in Law to visit Lambeau Field and Door County this summer. My husband died a few weeks ago, and she is afraid she will go too without seeing the places she hasn’t gone. I am afraid I will go mad, I miss him like I miss oxygen underwater, so instead – driving Mom around Green Bay and the lighthouses of Door County seems a viable alternative. I don’t know if it will help, but I figured I would give it a shot.

    Liked by 2 people

  83. I want to take my kids to see the Grand Tetons. Rocks named after boobs! What could be better?

    Liked by 1 person

  84. 84
    PibbityBibbity

    You’re the BEST storyteller EVER. And vacation planner (suck it, Victor)!

    I’d love to go to Savannah and do the ghost tours there, especially now that I know there are no vampire ghosts.

    Like

  85. 85
    shadowanna

    I would love to go to The Space Needle. I would like to spend some time in the Pacific Northwest and see the ocean. I miss the ocean so very much!

    Liked by 1 person

  86. Hobbit Holes in New Zealand!!! And all of Hobbiton!! Although that involves me saving up a lot of money so that will have to wait.🙂

    More realistically’ish … Vancouver, B.C. to stalk “Sam” and “Dean” … Portland, OR to see the weirdness and visit an old friend … anywhere with beautiful mountains or forests or wildlife or awesomeness!

    xo

    Liked by 1 person

    Jenny Williams recently posted Dingle My Dongle.

  87. My family did awesome three day road trips every summer to visit family. We drove from Tucson, AZ to Kalispell, MT. Now that I’m getting married and will have a new three year old stepson, I really want to do that trip again and start a new/old tradition with my new family,

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  88. 88
    Mamie Leger

    My husband and I have always wanted to take a long road trip to The Coral Castle. It is located in League City, Florida, which a drive from Gulf Coast of Texas to the tip of Florida is an adventure in itself. It is an awesome castle made from coral by one man, he built it only at night. Here is the link, http://www.coralcastle.com

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  89. I want to see sequoias! I have yet to experience the west coast and what better way than with some big ass trees?

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  90. 90
    Michele B.

    We’re a military family so we’ve done the cross country trek several times already. But we’re always rushing to beat the moving truck so we don’t stop to see anything cool. Unless you count the ER in Nashville, TN for stitches in the middle of the night when one of the kids fell out of bed and banged his head on a table. Or spending hours looking for your escaped cat in the woods of WV. And the 480 years it really does take to drive through TX. (Holy Hell, Texans, no wonder you never want to leave and think it the bestest place on Earth… it’s too damn difficult to get out!) We know approximately 3,745 families through the Marine Corps who live all over the country so I’d love to finally take our time, visit all our friends and have them take us to the best local attraction. Ending up in sunny San Diego for some fish tacos and retirement is the end goal. So yeah, I’m really gonna need some serious SPF there.

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  91. 91
    Janice in Accounting

    I want to take my daughter to Chicago to celebrate her high school graduation this month. Does the sunscreen work even if your face is constantly covered in tears?

    Liked by 2 people

  92. I want a road trip to visit some Renaissance Faires. I would include Ringing Rocks Park in Upper Black Eddy PA. You bring a hammer and beat on rocks, one of the only places in world where something like 80 percent of the rocks ring like bells. And then find some caverns too. I would definitely wear sunscreen.

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  93. Hooray for road trips! I wanna take my great-niece up to Mt Rushmore & the Crazy Horse memorial, because we did the Grand Canyon last year & only a bunch of heads on mountains can top that;) Plus, my Irish skin will look good covered in Blue Lizard:)

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  94. 94
    Anonymous

    Antelope Canyon! Had never heard of it, it looks awesome

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  95. I’d love to go to Oaxaca Mexico during day of the dead and sketch all the things.

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    novaisawesomeful recently posted moving blogs AGAIN, I know you hate me now but too bad.

  96. I want to go to Poland and Amsterdam and Germany and all of the places that once were horrible to remind me and show my kids that evil cannot win. Plus, how will they know not to repeat it if they haven’t seen the horror with their own eyes? I also want to go over there to show them that people shouldn’t be treated less than because they aren’t the same as “us” – exactly what is going on in this great state of North Carolina. I have never been ashamed to say where I am from until recently. I want to show them what can happen and did happen. It is possible to happen again…and it seems it is already.

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  97. We are planning a Grand Canyon trip 2017…now must include a visit to the pistachio nut. but not the zombie hands. I can’t with zombies

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  98. A trip to Giethoorn, a village called the Venice of the Netherlands. About 7.5 km of canals run through the little village, no vehicles allowed. I would love to spend some time there, it is quiet and picturesque!

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  99. So cool! I’ve always wanted to road trip up the California coast and stop at all the missions. Yes, all of them.

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  100. I’d like to go to Maine, explore the coastal towns and have excellent seafood, then go inland and try some grizzly. Plus, the Maine trip would be a bonus because i’ve never seen an ocean, so i could see that too.

    I’ve lived near most of the places you went on your trip, and it’s always fun to see it from an outsider’s perspective.

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  101. What an awesome trip! I want to go to Austin to see the largest bat colony, because I have an intense far off bats and birds and all thing swoop-y,and I think it will be good therapy!

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  102. A road trip up the east coast would be wondrous!

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  103. 103
    Crystal Sharpe

    I want to go to Iran and see Persepolis. Definitely have pistachios there!

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  104. When I was a kid we went to this place called The House on the Rock somewhere in Wisconsin. I remember rooms and rooms of weird collections and oddities. I would love to drive back up there some day and see if it really is as crazy as I remember, or if it was just my childish view!

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  105. There is a statue of John Coltrane in…wait for it…High Point, NC. I’ve driven past it twice when I visited that city but I’ve never been able to stop there. I’d like to stop there and maybe shake the statue’s hand and thank the statue, on John’s behalf, for the song “Impressions”, which is the coolest jazz song I’ve ever played.

    And there’s an international jazz and blues festival there in September. International, people!

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  106. The Bruce Peninsula in Ontario. There’s a groundhog day groundhog (Wiarton Willie) with a giant statue in his honour and then loads of shipwrecks off the coast. And rattlesnakes (which are exotic to us).

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  107. I want to road trip to South Dakota to see the Corn Palace. (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2215) My parents went to Sturgis and stopped there and the pictures were too cool. A huge building made of corn, with all these colorful designs. I heard there are also some random and wonderfully weird places to check out along the route there, so it’s be like the northern version of your road trip. (I stopped at a lot of the same places you did when I moved to LA from Ohio- I remember seeing all the Thing billboards and thinking we really should stop to check it out, but we just kept driving. I do want to know what the Thing is…)

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  108. I want to go to Alaska in the winter so I can go dog sledding, see the Aurora Borealis, and reenact scenes from the Golden Compass. (I’m pretty sure Hunter S. Tomcat is my dæmon.) Oh, and test my theory that I am pale enough to get magnetosphere burn. (Does Blue Lizard make anything for that?)

    I tried this in Iceland 2 years ago, but utterly blew it. For starters, it was July…oops. So no Golden Compass opportunities, and no dogs, but we did get to ride the world’s tiniest horses. (Don’t call them Icelandic “ponies.” Those people will cut you.) I know I would have gotten a Midnight Sunburn when I went snorkeling in the 34 F water in the continental divide between North America and Eurasia, if I hadn’t been wearing a dry suit.

    If the Northern Lights are “lit” but no one can see them because everything else is also light, do I still look disproportionately smug for someone wearing a human-shaped sleeping bag?
    http://tinyurl.com/smug-lady

    On a more sober note, we just lost our 18 y.o. orange tabby, Rufus, Monday. (Or, to be more precise, Rufus Fire, middle name, On. He had his own theme song.) Grieving is the freakin’ worst. That’s what led me here. I always see comments from people who just lost their cats. So, when I lost my cat, I knew I was supposed to come here. Thanks for giving me something sweet and silly to think about. Always. But especially today.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. I grew up in Arizona and never made it to the Grand Canyon. It is bad form to just copy your trip?? (My husband has been begging to go to Antelope Canyon too, he’ll be so jealous!)

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  110. 110
    Dot Wonder

    I’d love to go anywhere that has puffins! they are so darned cute!!! We visited Smokey the Bear park/museum 2 years ago, on the way to Roswell, NM. Sorry we missed the NM town w/ the tortilla w/ the image of the virgin Mary on it (if it hasn’t been eaten/destroyed).

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  111. OMG those pictures are glorious!!!

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  112. I can’t wait for my husband to read this article. This is the trip he’s been wanting to take

    Like

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  113. My coworker here says I should mention that I am allergic to the sun – I have PLE (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/polymorphous-light-eruption/basics/definition/con-20030452) so essentially the Sun acts like poison ivy unless I wear awesome sun block. I bet Blue Lizard would do the trick.

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  114. 114
    Darlynne

    I’d like to take the train again from Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park to Melbourne in Australia. The tracks got kind of wonky in the heat so the trip took a long time or stopped altogether occasionally.

    The weird and not-in-a-good-way part was the bathroom: I distinctly remember that the toilet and sink were all one large pedestal contraption. Depending on the lever you pushed, you were either standing at a sink to wash/brush or sitting/standing at a toilet. I was pretty horrified every time I had to go in there, which was often on what felt like a two-week long trip, but was only three days or so. They didn’t post signs about not drinking the water because what were you supposed to brush your teeth with anyway? My husband doesn’t remember this, but he’s a guy, right, and can not pee or wash/brush for years.

    No goats, ostriches or penis rocks, but definitely kangaroos in the morning mist.

    So I’d like to revisit that waking nightmare and the Blue Lizard sunscreen would be really handy because Australia. And in case I need to hop off the train when it stops, again, to find a bush under that impossibly strong sun.

    Your trip looked like fun. I’m fairly sure you’d have enjoyed this one, too. Thanks for sponsoring the giveaway.

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  115. My friends and I want to take a road trip to go to the Whoopie Pie Festival because who doesn’t love whoopie……..and pie!

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  116. I want to see the Northern Lights, but I think they only come out at night so sun screen might be pointless but i also think that it’s ALWAYS night where they come out so maybe if BluLizzard had some kind of nighttime sunscreen or moonscreen it could work but then I’d have to find a cat-sitter which is turning out to be a drag and is why we never go anywhere but i LIKE being at my home better than anywhere else anyway so maybe all I need is an Airstream motor home so we could take the cats with us like in the book “Mickey Sees the U.S.A” but Mickey didn’t have any cats with him and I don’t think mice, dogs or ducks used sunscreen in 1944.

    Liked by 1 person

  117. This summer I’m taking my kids to House on the Rock after they finish reading American Gods. But I want to go to the Florida Keys, because I want to see teeny tiny Key Deer, drive over that hugely long bridge that will probably make me pee my pants because bridges freak me out, and see Hemmingway’s 6-toed cats. I hear you can really use sunscreen in Florida.

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  118. 118
    Anonymous

    I want to drive along the west coast, see the giant redwoods, Yosemite national park, Napa valley and continue into Oregon and Washington and any other national parks out that way.

    For international travel I would live to get to Scotland, nothing like a man in a kilt…in my opinion.

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  119. I want to go to Alabama. Because it is the only state in the lower 48 that I’ve never been to. And I feel like that’s an oversight that I should correct.

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  120. I want to take my kids on a road trip to see their grandparents in the Idaho panhandle. Beautiful scenery!

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  121. Thanks for sharing your awesome trip! I want to go to Mt. Rainier or Mauna Loa to see volcanoes and the “Liquid hot magma. (Dr. Evil)

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  122. 122
    Rachelle

    I want to drive along the west coast, see the giant redwoods, Yosemite national park, Napa valley and continue into Oregon and Washington and any other national parks out that way.

    For international travel I would live to get to Scotland, nothing like a man in a kilt…in my opinion.

    Like

  123. 123
    Merete Sørum

    I really really want to visit pictured rocks in Michigan.

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  124. I want to go to Foster Falls in TN . . it’s a gorgeous waterfall with a lagoon. But I’m super, super white so I’d need sunscreen for the hike!

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  125. I agree that the Grand Canyon is a big hole in the ground. I also agree that’s it’s pretty, but yeah.🙂

    I’ve driven from the East Coast to the middle (Philadelphia to Minneapolis) and a big loop through eight states in the Southwest, and I’ve taken the train across the country and back, but someday I’d really like to drive across the country.

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  126. I would love to take a road trip like in The Great Typo Hunt, where I could combine my two favorite things: seeing new places and correcting people’s poor grammar and spelling.

    Liked by 1 person

  127. Crater Lake in southern Oregon. Just because.

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  128. I have a young son and I feel that an all-American road trip to find ridiculous and interesting things would be a vital to his development as a human being.

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  129. Mars. I hear Olympus Mons is beautiful this time of year. BUT, since I guess you can’t drive to Mars, (thanks Reaganomics) I guess I’d do a Roller Derby US tour and see as many bouts as I could in as many states as I could. (It’s kind of my thing, ergo the blog: https://skatesandscars.com/)

    Liked by 1 person

  130. 130
    Kathy Tucker

    I would like to take a road trip on Route 66 which sounds like a lot more fun than the usual road trip where we visit my in-laws.

    Like

  131. In a perfect world, I would road trip to the Area 51 Alien Travel Center and Brothel in Nevada. So much mystery, so many questions…

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  132. Obviously to play to your sponsor AND be awesomely interesting at the same time, I would organize a road trip all around seeing different kinds of Lizards / reptiles! It would bring you to interesting places, AND be educational, AND require sunscreen AND perhaps my two year old would finally let me shampoo his hair without a fight. I’m not sure how the road trip would help with shampooing, but I’ll try anything at this point, including allowing a large reptile to apply shampoo to his head.
    AND apparently reptiles are declining worldwide at an alarming rate: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800809/ so this could help bring visibility to that awful situation. #winning

    Liked by 1 person

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  133. 133
    Dorcey Bennett

    Must get out to Roswell, N.M. to see the UFO museum, and maybe get me some real alien DNA. Then mosey on over to Ruidoso, just because I like to say Ruidoso, and I understand that there is a collection of life-sized statues of wild horses running through the town. Extra special if I could climb up on one of the stallions and pretend I’m Shotgun Sally taking over the town. That would be my Christmas card pic for the next 50 years. Yup, that’s my fantasy trip, for sure.

    Liked by 1 person

  134. This sounds like such a fun trip! My two kiddos are little right now, so I think a beach trip or a trip to Chattanooga (to ride the choo-choo and see the aquarium) would be more our speed, but I’m putting the Grand Canyon on the radar for a few years down the road.

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  135. JENNY!!!! I have it. I would love to visit Olney, Illinois. You know why? Because of Albino Squirrels. This city has an abnormal amount of albino squirrels. They even have the right of way. And if I go see the squirrels I can slather them in blue lizard sunscreen because I hear that albinos burn easily. Or if you go send a bunch of pictures so that I can live vicariously through you!

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  136. Three of the Top Ten Elevators in the World are in the USA, and they are perfectly situated for a cross-country road trip. Starting in the borough of Queens, NYC, there’s the famous Dragon Elevator in the Long Island City Business Center (head to the back of the lobby, follow signs to the freight elevator); 955 miles to the west/two-day drive is the Gateway Arch in St. Louis (MO), whose elevator is both esthetically and kinetically peculiar: it lurches (due to its being inside an arch) and is an artifact of what the space age used to look like c. 1951 — all white and modular. From St. Louis, take Route 66 for 1,350 miles to Flagstaff (AZ) — this being “The Mother Road”, you’ll probably want to make a few stops along the way, take in historic sights such as the world’s largest concrete totem pole in Foyil, Oklahoma. From Flagstaff, take a three-hour drive to Las Vegas and check in at the Luxor, a 30-story pyramid at the south end of the Strip whose “inclinators” travel diagonally, meaning that the ride consists of alternating sensations of upward and sideway movements. Fun!

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  137. 137
    Meredith

    Y’all, I want to go on a west coast cat cafe tour (see http://www.eater.com/maps/cat-cafes-from-coast-to-coast). One, I’d get to see a bunch of stuff in states I’ve only passed through (CA) or not visited, and two, CAT CAFES! If that’s not a reason to road trip, I don’t know what is.🙂

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  138. Looks like you guys had a lot of…fun? Sunscreen is SO important and I wear it everyday – cancer is bad. I would love to go visit that city built entirely out of legos; Madurodam in Holland…..so weird and awesome.

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  139. My friend and I are currently planning a road trip from Nashville, TN to the Florida keys. We’ve been googling our little hearts our trying to find the weirdest things along the route that we can stop and visit. Including the UFO house in Pensacola. It’s a bit of a reroute but only tacked on an hour to our to the drive time. I’m definitely going to check out roadsideamerica.com. The ultimate goal of our trip is Hemingway’s Home so we can visit the 6 toed cats.

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  140. 140
    Lisa Garcia

    That trip looks amaze balls! Very educational about “things”, my 8 year old daughter would love to see all that strange stuff, we are an odd bunch ourselves!

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  141. My autistic daughter is fascinated by mummies. She also thinks going for long rides in the car is awesome (and it’s calming for her). So, I would like to take her on a long road trip to wherever the mummies are.

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  142. I want to see the Bay of Fundy. Walk on the ocean floor at low tide and see the giant ocean come crashing in at high tide. Magnificent.

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  143. I want to go to Roswell NM and see all the amazingly tacky alien shit!

    I have a friend who lives in (comparatively) nearby Truth or Consequences (which was actually named after the TV show) whom I haven’t seen in years, and this would be a great excuse to visit as we are both Science Fiction fans. I would promise to wear light-up deely-bopper-antennae the entire trip (except for in the car, as they would mess up the rental car ceiling. And they would probably chafe while sleeping, so maybe I haven’t thought this through sufficiently, but I would make a valiant effort to do so wherever people could see us.)

    There is also a really sad 60s vintage Spaceport America near TorC that would make for a good visit. And a dam named after an elephant butt! (OK, they spell it “Butte” but I suspect that’s just fancy talk to impress the tourists). And hot springs that are supposed to have “ancient healing properties” but I think they are probably radioactive or something. (then maybe we wouldn’t need the deely-boppers)

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  144. back in summer of 1995 I was getting over a breakup and just got on the road and started driving. I lived in Lakeland, Florida at the time and just started driving. I was on I-75 but then decided to go up I-95, still I didn’t have a destination in mind but thought the further I got away from the woman I was trying to forget the better off I’d be. It started to get dark and I needed to find a hotel (long before cell phones and hotel apps on phones and google maps) so I stopped at an exit. They said they had no vacancies and there was a horse show and I’d probably need to go a few more miles down the interstate to find a hotel. I ended up finding one further down and just wanted to sleep. The next morning I started to look at the brochures in the hotel room and one of the area’s biggest attractions was the Biltmore Estate. I kept looking and said hmmm, I need to check this out. For those of you that don’t know the Biltmore estate is the largest privately owned house in the United States, it was constructed between 1889-1895 and is amazing. The grounds are amazing. Originally it had 125,000 acres around the house back when it was constructed, today it still has 8,000 acres. It has a wonderful winery, two Inns and many outdoor activities. I ended up going there many, many times after I stumbled upon it in 1995. In 2009 I saw Rick Springfield in concert there on the back lawn and was in the front row. In 2013 my wife and I got married there in the champagne cellar and have beautiful wedding pictures (I’d attach some if I could) and this year I’m going back in August for another Rick Springfield concert with Night Ranger and the Romantics. My road trip in 1995 has led me to a life long enjoyment of the Biltmore estate. In August is my next road trip up there.

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  145. 145
    rivetergirl

    I want to take my daughter to see water shoot into the air like it just don’t care (aka Yellowstone Park). She’s almost 16 and will be going to college soon. I am hoping to show her how fun seeing our country is by driving through it, all the while protected by awesome Lizard sunscreen because we are very, very fair skinned people.

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  146. I have always wanted to take my kids to a dude ranch… mostly so I can call them dude and flash a peace sign and they will be legally required (I think) to not roll their eyes or call me lame

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  147. I have always wanted to go see/experience the Narcisse Snake Pits, North of the town Narcisse, Manitoba, CANADA. I love snakes and there in spring the Garter Snakes, very gentle snakes, come out of their den in droves!! I would love to be able to sit on a rock near by and have hundreds of snakes slither all over me and see them up close. They do this really cool thing of rolling into balls of snakes for mating. I think Father’s day is a bit confusing at their house, LMAO! I also lust over your taxidermic Raccoon, he is so awesome!

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  148. Ostriches are the assholes of the bird world, which says something, because geese are part of that same bird world. Glad you had a good time! I’d go see the Northern LIghts.

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  149. I’d love to go to Ireland! Sorry, Blue Lizard, that destination doesn’t provide a need for sunscreen very often. That’s exactly the reason why I want to go there, because I have a mid-life onset of Vampirism. I am not yet at the drinking blood for sustenance stage, but I do break out in hives when I’m out in the sun for 30+ minutes. So, yay, Blue Lizard Sunscreen! Choose me, and I’ll be your extreme-cases test subject! Screw Ireland! Slather me up and send to me Acapulco!

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  150. There is a defunct Wizard of Oz theme park in North Carolina that I want to see. Clearly this calls for a road trip!

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  151. I would love to take my boys on a road trip! I have often thought about taking my boys to the cities that I grew up in (Raleigh and Cincinnati) to give them a frame of reference for why Mom acts weird sometimes.

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  152. Wow, I would love to load up the family and take everyone to Gettysburg. I was able to take a guided tour there forever ago and everyone was fascinated by the knowledge I brought back.

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  153. I have wanted to go to New Zealand for the last three decades, but I hate flying. Maybe I can get to NZ by boat?

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  154. Oh oh oh! That statue of a torture victim, from 18th century Italy? Was it made of wax? It might have actually been an anatomical wax figure made for medical students to learn from!!! I am studying these right now and writing a conference paper on them! They made FULL ON NUDE LADIES called “anatomical venuses” that are all pretty and they used real human hair but then you can OPEN UP THE TORSO and take out all the organs! And they also made diseased and deformed and injured body parts, faces with all sorts of deformities, and even models of genitalia showing the effects of various sexually transmitted diseases!!! So I don’t know for certain, but that guy you saw might actually have been an educational tool!

    This is a vague travel request, because I’m already getting to go to the MORBID ANATOMY MUSEUM in New York City this weekend, but I would love to go to London, because my main area of study is Victorian literature, and I could do SOOOOO MUCH there!

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  155. Oh, and if any of you haven’t been to the Abita Mystery House in Abita Springs, LA outside of New Orleans, do yourself a favor. Seriously, it’s like it was designed specifically with this tribe in mind.
    Our next door neighbors are related to the owner and they are always offering us a “VIP tour.” (Super intrigued by what that must entail, but my social anxiety keeps stopping me from accepting.)
    Jenny, let me know if you want in on this next time you’re in the area. (The VIP tour, not the social anxiety. As I understand it, you’re full up.) It’s the least I can do. A little gesture for all the times you read your books to me over my headphones when I needed help falling asleep.

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  156. 156
    Melissa A.

    This summer I’m pregnant which makes road trips slightly more difficult but I would love to take a trip to someplace with a beach. California maybe!

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  157. Is like to see some of the rocks and whatnot that my friend keeps teasing us with pics of from Colorado. Which is BIGTIME because I kinda hate the outdoors. According to Hubs, my favorite thing to do outside is go inside.

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  158. I want to take our boys camping and hiking all through Yellowstone or Glacier National Park. We live fairly close and have never gone. Hopefully we’ll make it this Summer!

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  159. 159
    Colleen Lucas

    Hmm interesting trips….. if had time or $$$$ I would like to take a train trip across the country. Just too what you can see.

    Colleen Lucas

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  160. We are totes going to Kentucky Stonehenge in a few weeks. Actually, we’re going to Mammoth Cave to wander around in the dark with lanterns but when I found out that Kentucky Stonehenge was a thing I very nearly cancelled the whole cave schmave nonsense thing and started planning the massive side trip(s.) Plus we’re going to a place called Kentucky Down Under where I guess we get to feed kangaroos with our mouths?! I don’t need no stinking cave, y’all! I do, however, need some crazy KY side trips. My husband swears the cave is haunted so I guess I’m in..

    http://kystonehenge.com/
    http://www.kentuckydownunder.com/
    

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  161. 161
    Jeff Gaulke

    I would go to San Francisco and visit both the zoo and the Steinhart Aquarium. While there, I would try to convince the animals that freedom isn’t everything and that they should be happy in prison, while secretly plotting with the bears on hiw to get the penguins past security. Those darn penguins can really turn a smooth operation into a total cluster.

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  162. I’d have to agree that driving from the middle of TX through to the “west” is at LEAST 480 days. Excellent idea flying to El Paso first. Anyway, I too am looking at going to the Grand Canyon again and that Antelope Canyon looked mighty cool too. Thanks for sharing!

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  163. The Gilroy (CA) Garlic Festival. Yes, that’s a real thing (http://gilroygarlicfestival.com/).

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  164. I want to go to this museum in Florida dedicated to the man who invented air conditioning. Because thank you, dude. You shoudl truly have your own holiday. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/237

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  165. I want an ultimate Rock and Roll road trip!!! I need to see Graceland before I die! I love Elvis so much but have yet to get there, and then I would go to New Orleans because BEIGNETS.

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  166. Ooooooh this is perfect!! I’ve always wanted to go to the New England Carousel Museum in CT. It may seem silly but seriously go have a look at all those insane horse faces and tell me it doesn’t seem like some kind of crazy PETA ‘don’t be cruel to animals’ campaign. The horses with the crazy eyes and the lolling tongues. That is the stuff that childhood memories are made of people, at least if you’re parenting right I think, or something like that!

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  167. I love road trips but I want to take a long train trip where I can get off the train and visit interesting town and then get back on the train to head to another town. I’d do a road trip but you can’t see much when you are driving. I don’t have a Victor and my cat refuses to drive.

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  168. I want to go to Prince Edward Island for the seafood, red sand beaches, lighthouses and of course Anne of Green Gables.

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  169. 169
    TracyinKC

    I use an online free app called RoadTrippers. You can plan a road trip and search for things along the way with categories like: Offbeat Attractions, Abandoned, Spooky Places, as well as more normal categories. My family thinks I’m nuts but I LOVE the offbeat attractions! Ohio is on my road trip list and a few of the offbeat attractions I’d like to see are the Hardman Rock Gardens (self-taught artists construct fascinating worlds out of concrete, metal, stone, and whatever else they can find.) “Cornhenge (consists of 109 concrete ears of corn positioned in rows and standing upright in a grassy field.),and Frankenstein’s Castle (haunted).

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  170. 170
    Stacey Rebaza

    Well shit. Now I just have to go see the big veiny hands, not to mention find out what THE THING is. Now you’ve COMPLETELY ruined my life. Thanks a TON Blue Lizard. Thanks a ton.

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  171. I’d love to go to NoLa and see the cemeteries and then drive up to Georgia and nose around. A lot of books I’ve loved over the years take place in those two areas and it would be fascinating to see them in person.

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  172. Washington DC is over run with black squirrels, so you should totally do both places in one trip because symbolism or something.

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  173. 173
    corymatyas

    I’d like to go to Colonial Williamsburg…for the wigs. The sweet, sweet wiggage.

    Liked by 1 person

  174. I would go on a road trip with my kids through New England in fall. I have always wanted to see this part of the US.

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  175. Kind of boring, but I would just go to Brown County, Indiana and stay in one of the awesome log cabins that are available to rent. I used to do that with family members when I was younger.

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  176. 176
    Mike Richards

    Definitely Meteor Crater. It’s a huge f-you to the cosmos that whatever they throw at Earth, the cockroaches, scorpions and rattlesnakes will still be here.

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  177. We’re on a pretty awesome road trip right now, but we haven’t gotten sunscreen yet, so the discount will come in handy. So would a gift card, because we’re only a third of the way through our year-long attempt to visit a church and a bar (and, if possible, a movie theater) in all 50 states. We’re driving a 2006 minivan, so anything could happen.

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  178. I want to see Carhenge in Nebraska. Like Stonehenge but with cars. Really.

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  179. Trippin thru the Grand Tetons because, duh, how fun is that to say?!?!?

    Teton, Teee-tons, Te-tonnnnns…teton, teton, teton

    Try it. Say it to someone. First they look at you like you said something a little naughty. Then you tell them it’s a national park in Wyoming and impress the hell out of them and get to feel all superior for the rest of the day.

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  180. I want to go see the Largest Ball of Twine!

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  181. I like the kind of road trip where someone else drives and I play on my phone and DJ the radio the whole time. And at the end we get out and there’s a beach to lay on a lot. I’m thinking that’s not so much a “road trip”. But we would definitely need lots of sunscreen! Does that count?

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  182. You took a trip through my home state and where I am currently calling home and saw all the cool things! Except I didn’t see Carlsbad Caverns or aliens on your agenda. Slacker.

    Personally I want to do a road trip to the Clown Motel in Tonopah, NV. It’s creepy as shit AND has a view of a graveyard. What could possibly go wrong?! My daughter absolutely refuses to go with me, and it’s totally a place that you have to have someone with you to truly experience and share all the wonder that awaits. Plus someone to scare the shit out of by popping out of the bathroom first thing in the morning dressed as Pennywise. https://roadtrippers.com/stories/americas-scariest-motel-haunted-by-hundreds-of-clowns?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5

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  183. I want to take a trip to Louisiana and tour plantations.

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  184. I’ve lived in Arizona 21 years & still haven’t gotten to see the Grand Canyon. LOL, you go Girl! 🙂

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  185. one of my dream trips, would be to see Yosemite national park & the giant redwoods & giant sequoias, then traveling up into Banff national park. if I could, I would time it to see the aurora borealis. I have no qualms about seeing every quirky thing in between. in fact, quirly would make a great name for a rock band. hey look! a squirrel!

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  186. I’d love to see Stonehenge, but that probably isn’t in the cards at the minute. Probably something more attainable at the minute would be Key West. Thanks for the opportunity!

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  187. I kinda want to go to the seedy underbelly and weird sites in Los Angeles… Because hey, Mammoth Chunks. http://www.welikela.com/off-beat-weird-attractions-los-angeles/

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  188. 188
    Susan Flick

    I would love to go see my sister in Salt Lake City! I may scare the Mormons, but it would be worth it.

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  189. I want to go and give birth in the world’s largest hand dug well in Greensburg Kansas. Then, emerge, victorious, babe in arms, from” the world’s largest hand dug womb” as my family and I will forever think of it. Thanks for the freak show road trip post!
    cihloff@yahoo.com

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  190. I want to go someplace majestic! I don’t even know where! Indiana is so FLAT. Some place with waterfalls. A majestic, waterfall-y type place.

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  191. 191
    Danielle Clark

    I really really want to go see that hotel that inspired Stephen King’s The Shining…even if there are no ghostly sightings imagine the fun you could have doing Jack Nicholson impressions! REDRUM…

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  192. I personally don’t care where I go, as long as it involves a trip to THE THING. I must admit, I am extremely jealous that you got to go. I grew up in AZ and we would pass signs for THE THING on the road, and all four of us kids would beg to stop and see THE THING. We tried to use well-modulated, non-whiny tones and would carefully formulate an argument as to why we should stop and see THE THING. Because I was the oldest, wisest (and least whiny child), I naturally was the spokesman for the four of us. We finally caught on that when a parent responds with “we’ll see” to one of our requests (fireworks displays, county fairs, state fairs, THE THING, etc) it usually means “no fucking way will we be going, but if I say no outright the (non-whiny) begging and pleading will continue and I am pretty sure that a ‘we’ll see’ will make you shut your pie holes for at least another 400 miles”. (Thank you for listening to what has turned out to be a therapy session.) P.S. The fact that you took your daughter to see THE THING means that you are doing parenting right. And also taking her to RenFest and letting her do all that cool shit with unicorns and dueling. I’m sure YOU won’t ever say “we’ll see”. xo

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  193. That sounds like a great trip! I would love to visit Kansas City to continue my tour of every Major League Baseball park in America.

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  194. I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Your trip looks amazing!

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  195. 195
    Tikaanidog

    would love to go see Glacier National park in Montana. and Washington has a full size replica of Stonehenge that is totally cool:)

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  196. 196
    Jenni (aka Sassypants)

    I guess it’s silly, but I’d love to go stand with my feet in two different time zones. Or go to Senoia, GA and stalk, I mean “maybe see” the cast of The Walking Dead. But I’d have more luck trying to stand in 2 different time zones, I think.

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  197. 197
    ocularnervosa

    I always wanted to visit the South Pole, the exact South Pole and that way I could stand in all the time zones at the same time. I’d Be A TIME LORD! Tokyo? Yeah, I’m in your time. New York? Yeah, I’m in your time too! Honolulu? You bet, I’m in your time, at the exact same time! All 24 hours at once. It would be so cool, freezing your ass off and “isn’t this the greatest thing in the world” cool at the same time.

    Liked by 1 person

  198. 198
    Jessica S.

    I’ve always wanted to go to Vienna. No particular reason.

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  199. 199
    SIAmanda

    Howdy, also from Texas here. Hmmm, a road trip. My fiancé and I were initially going to get married at Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs Arkansas but had to bring the wedding back to Huntsville (the Texas one, not the cool, mountainous, lots of engineers and math nerds Alabama one) because of family who couldn’t travel due to changing jobs and not being able to access vacay time for 6 months. So I’d kind of like to take him to the chapel anyway at some point in the future because it looks truly beautiful from the pics and why wouldn’t it? Would a tourist attraction ever put up ugly pics of itself? Doubtful.

    Also, I’d like to take my 4-year-old son to ride the train that runs between Rusk and Palestine, TX, the Texas State Railroad. A bonus for this trip is that I think they do have bandits who board the train at some point to rob everyone AND there are wine and dine trips available too so there’s booze somewhere on the train to be found.

    Lastly (maybe), I drove through Roundtop, Texas recently and it was a cute, funky collection of antique stores and buildings. After getting home, I looked it up and they hold big antique festivals. Plus, I saw an old Chief Big Mac Climber from a McDonalds play place sitting in a field, faded and sacreligiously rusting. For all of us early millenials and older, this was the hamburger on top of a column with bars. You would enter the column through a hole, climb steel rungs up to another hole and then climb around or sit around inside the bars of the hamburger. It was my favorite of the play place equipment. Not gonna lie, if they don’t want too much money for it, I’d totally buy it, try to restore it, and put it in the back yard. Plus, it’ll be good motivation to try to lose weight so that I can once again squeeze myself into the structure just like old times (I would absolutely try and would probably have to be cut from the structure when I inevitably became stuck).

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  200. I want to see the potato museum in Idaho. Because random museums are my spirit animal. Potatoes are my spirit vegetable (is that a thing? I’m making it a thing.)

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  201. 201
    Jennifer Jones

    I really want to take a trip through the New England states in the fall. The only downfall is that people rave about the seafood, and I do not eat seafood….of any kind. (I will eat fish). I just kinda feel like I wouldn’t be getting the full experience, you know?

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  202. I want to go to Cat Island in Japan! 100 humans live there and are vastly outnumbered by cats. There is a cat shrine, and cat shaped cabins for tourists to stay in!

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  203. 203
    Jackie P.

    My husband really wants to drive and camp along the whole coast of California. I agreed because there is wine there. Plus, ocean which we don’t have in Minnesota.

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  204. Text exchange with my kid who is on a road trip across the country. (from last year)

    Me: Let us know where you’re at when you get stopped for the night.

    Jake: I’m driving in a barren landscape of grass and the occasional grove of trees. There is no indication of any civilization here. Coming to Nebraska was a very boring decision.

    Me: Nebraska has the Kool-Aid museum. Lucky you.

    Jake: That’s so stupid I might actually go to that.

    Me: Same city. Hastings. You can go see the grave of Andy the Footless Goose. He used to wear shoes.

    Jake: Is Nebraska even real?

    Me: If you go through Omaha, there are several Diner’s Drive Ins and Dives restaurants you can try. You can also visit the 15 foot tall fork with pasta and a bronze statue of Chef Boyardee.

    Jake: Please stop. I can’t handle this.

    Me: So much awesomeness. I’ll leave you alone with it all. Love you.

    P.S. He went to the Kool-Aid museum. We have pictures. He pushed a button on the wall next to the Kool-Aid man display and almost had to change his shorts after the speakers screamed out, “Oh YEAH!” Totally worth the price of admission.

    P.P.S. I want a picture of Andy, The Footless Goose.

    P.P.P.S. I found out Andy was ultimately murdered by a deranged fan/stalker/serial goose killer. I’ll bet his ghost haunts his memorial. We should go check.

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  205. THAT is my dream trip. Bucket list is small. Arizona, Utah, New Mexico trip in a really nice bus/ Winnebago thingy would be awesome!

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  206. Try the Tabasco Ice Cream while you’re there. It’s actually delicious. Plus, while you’re on the island, you can visit Jungle Gardens. One of the McIlhenny kids fancied himself a botanist and made this huge nature preserve. It’s got a snowy egret preserve that is amazing during mating season.
    It also features an enormous 900 year old Buddha statue, which is enjoyable if you can get past the cringe-inducing explanations you’ll come up with to explain just what the hell a religious artifact from China, circa 1100 CE (or 887 Before Kirk Cameron Went Crazy), has been doing on Avery Island since the 1930s.

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  207. I’m planning on going to Rise in Nevada. It’s a lantern release where you can write your fears/anxieties/wishes on a lantern and send it away into the night. It’s beautiful! Like that scene in Tangled!

    I have a lot of anxiety (I carry my Xanax with me just in case!) so this is perfect for me! But also terrifying. Out in the desert, in the middle of nowhere with thousands of strangers and the hospital is 20 minutes away. Lots of triggers for me. But I want to face my fears! I want to be strong! I can do this!

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  208. I want to see the world’s largest ball of string and judge myself, because being judgy is where its at. So far the world can’t decide and they have split this pie down to the last fiber – world’s largest ball of twine, world’s largest ball of sisal twine, world’s largest ball of string, world’s largest ball of nylon string and more, And Kansas, Mo, Minnesota, WI, all claim the title. And speaking of pies, I’ve already done this one – it’s fantastic. World’s largest cherry pie.

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  209. 209
    simplydab

    I saw this on Thrillist last year, and had it bookmarked ever since. When I retire, I’m getting an RV and making an epic road trip!!!

    https://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/weird-roadside-attractions-strangest-road-trip-sights

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  210. 210
    Robin OCanna

    I’m yearning for a trip to Lily Dale in New York, a town packed with mediums and spiritualists who talk to folks on the other side. I miss my people from the other side, and I want to know what they’re up to. Plus, hanging with spiritualists is like a trip on a party bus, yo.

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  211. 211
    Tracey Revels

    I want to see the Redwood Forest! Maybe we could start a story…Redwood Forest… Blue Lizard Sunscreen…seems there is a theme here…

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  212. I would like to visit the largest ball of twine in Kansas. Why? I have no idea.

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  213. I am so boring, but I want to see Niagara Falls!

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  214. This trip sounds amazing- I love finding odd things on trips. We haven’t taken one that was ‘let’s find something weird on the way’ since I was a teenager, which is how we discovered ‘Gator Land’ (it’s a giant Alligator head filled with alligators. It’s amazing.) , and now my little sister is graduating high school. Time flies. I know if we could take another trip we’d head for Florida Caverns State Park, where there are caves! And bats! And a cool Spring! and on the way hopefully we’d hit St. Augustine, since I have lived in florida my whole life and I still haven’t been there. I want ghost tours. And lots of weird animals. Another stop at Gatorland maybe?

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  215. 215
    fushigifox

    My family and I are immigrants from Japan. (Which is amusing because I am actually American). Anyway, second year of living in America, my 10 year old son has fallen in love with American Civil War History. I find it funny because he lived in a country famous for history that is older than America’s history as a country. He doesn’t ‘t care about the Japanese feudal castles in his hometown or traveling to a ninja amusement park BUT take him to a Civil War battle site and he is furiously happy! We currently live near the Missouri and Arkansas border so he has gotten to see some amazing sites, like the Battle of Carthage, but he wants to travel and see some other sites further away like Gettysburg and such. I think it would be an amazing road trip to take him to other battle sites in the eastern states.

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  216. Outer Banks in North Carolina and Napa Valley are 2 places I’d love to visit. Oh, and New England in the fall. Hopefully at least one of those happens this year!

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  217. Last month we drove past Meteor Crater AZ on our way back to Chicago from Vegas. Long trip? Yes. Blew up car enroute? Yes. Met strange and particularly threatening folks enroute? DUH. Eventually got back home? YEP. Sunscreen? …NOPE. And now my doctor is mumbling something about skin cancer, not being a kid, giving up my Lucky Charms and cartoons habit… He’s an asshole. I need a new doctor.

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  218. I would love to go back to Mackinaw Island, Michigan because I’ve only been there once and it was ruined because a: I was with my mom who has ADD and she had already been there so she just dragged us around past all of the things she had already seen and b: I got my period and couldn’t go horseback riding because I had no tampons. (Truth.)

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  219. New Orleans or Savannah Georgia, so many ghost tours!

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  220. I want to visit Yellowstone before the supervolcano erupts and takes the world with it!

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  221. We’ve had to keep postponing thiis trip due to money and unexpected life events, but we plan to visit the redwoods and then travel upon the coast to see tide pools. We’d love it, and think our kids will, too!

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  222. 222
    claire Piper

    Iceland! because knitting! and sheep! Northern Lights! Hot springs! cats! If I go in winter I might not even need sunscreen? Maybe a tinfoil hat for the northern lights though.

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  223. 223
    Chris Patterson

    Would love for our family to drive out to House on the Rock. (We’ve been before, but that was long enough ago that our memories feel like they may actually be half-remembered fever dreams – or perhaps hallucinations).

    For folks who haven’t visited House on the Rock, it is a testament to how spite, obsession, and possibly a hint of insanity, can combine to create something breathtaking and beautiful. The story is that Alex Jordan, Jr. was an aspiring architect in Wisconsin, and one day drove out to Taliesin to show one of his designs to Frank Lloyd Wright. Wright was dismissive, and Jordan immediately resolved to build his own house, close enough to Taliesin that Wright would see it and have to acknowledge Jordan’s genius.

    The original house, on top of a nearby bluff, was distinctive enough that people kept showing up to look around. Eventually, the reclusive Jordan started to charge admission to keep people away.

    But they kept coming.

    Which gave Jordan the money to indulge his compulsion for collecting, and the original House grew to keep pace with the collections, eventually becoming a sprawling complex of loosely-connected buildings, throughout the property.

    Mechanical orchestras feature prominently throughout the compound, but there are also collections of vintage Americana, model planes, and a multi-story diorama of two sea monsters locked in combat (no, really).

    I think it’s been too long since our family was completely besieged by that kind of wonderful craziness.

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  224. I want to take my son on a roadtrip down Route 66. The original one. And end up in California to swim in the ocean..as long as it’s not too cold. I’m from Texas. Swimming water needs to be at least 80 degrees to swim in otherwise hypothermia sets in. Not good.

    Like

  225. Sorry my state is so weird and holy. Wait… hole-y? Cuz it’s sure as hell not the other (pun totally intended).
    I’ve always wanted to go to England and see Stonehenge or some crazy weird crop circles (created by aliens or farmers in overalls with big push rooms… I’m not picky) but I’ve also wanted to burrow cozily in Georgio Tsoukalos’ hair fort. I’d be happy with either! You think a bribe of $500 would get me the latter?!😀

    Liked by 1 person

  226. Iceland! because knitting! and sheep, lots of wool, strange food, cats, hot springs and the Northern Lights. If I go in January I probably wouldn’t even need sunscreen? Maybe a tinfoil hat though, for the Northern Lights

    Like

  227. My husband I want to road trip down US Route 1 by motorcycle. From the top in Maine to the bottom in Florida. You know there is a TON of weird shit to see and do along that route!

    Like

  228. 228
    Michelle

    I am likely driving across the country (or at least half of it) with my mother at some point this summer. My one goal is to make it to Wall Drug in South Dakota. But I am sure there are all kinds of interesting places to stop in the middle of nowhere while headed from New England to the Pacific Northwest.

    Like

  229. I want to see where the Mississippi River originates, which shows I listen to the Indigo Girls too much. (“Now the Mississippi’s might, but it starts in Minnesota at a place that you could walk across with five steps down.”)

    Liked by 1 person

  230. Looks like a supremely awesome trip. I want to see it all, except maybe the bullet hole-pocked road sign. That was frightening – you’re lucky to be alive. Blue Lizard – Take me to see the Corn Palace. Always a crowd pleaser and a must see on any trip out west.

    Like

  231. I missed seeing the tenement museum in NYC in the eight (!) years my son lived there and I visited occasionally. Want to go see it.

    Like

    kmkat recently posted HB2U, YS!.

  232. My girlfriend and I are doing a THIRTY EIGHT HOUR road trip within a 9 day span this summer because obviously if you can survive 38 hours in a car together you can survive anything right? We are driving from DC to Toronto to Niagara Falls to ATLANTA (killer long part) and then back to DC to die in bed until I run out of sick days vacationing from our vacation. We have a few things planned but are mostly looking forward to the roadside THINGS that catch our attention and make us loose hours upon hours looking at things we never knew existed and will never see again and will make most people question what we are doing with our lives. Loosely planned road trips are the best!

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  233. Rabbit Island.

    I probably don’t need to say more than that, but in Japan? The island of Ōkunoshima is bristling with “feral” rabbits that are so tame they will literally mob you with adorableness if they think you have food. There are numerous videos of this and I have a mighty need.

    Like

  234. 234
    Jessica Ballard

    We would like to take a trip to Boca Raton, FL where my angel son Austin has a turtle adopted in his memory at Gumbo Limbo Rescue Center. Plus, his father, aunt and uncle live there and it would be wonderful to be able to visit. His 6 month passing is this Sunday 05/22..

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  235. I’ve seen The Thing!! I was on a road trip from AZ to KS with my mom and grandma. The Thing was only $.75 then, and they wouldn’t even cough up that much to see it. Philistines! Anyway, The Thing was okay, but the rest of the stuff was way weirder, and therefore cooler.

    As far as places to visit, I’d like to take my mom to San Francisco. It’s on her bucket list, along with Japan, but neither of us can afford Japan.

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  236. I desperately want to go to Iceland. They have both glaciers and volcanos!

    Like

  237. I get the chance to go see my son & family in Hawaii and we want to go to the World’s Largest Plant Maze in Wahiawa, then the Kaumana Lava Tubes in Hilo and the ultimate stairmaster, Koko Crater Trail – straight up old rail ties. We love the adventures! Since we are so fair complected, we would DEFINITELY use the Blue LIzard Australian Sunscreen!

    Like

  238. I want to take my kids to Washington DC.

    Like

  239. I’d love to road trip to Nova Scotia! So fun. Your post is hilarious!

    Like

  240. My husband and I live in Utah and recently took a 24 hour trip to see a bunch of Utah ghost towns. It was incredible, and we’re dying to hit up the other end of Utah for all the ghost towns we missed! I’d also like to gift my husband with a trip to Vernal, as he’s a huge dinosaur buff and we still haven’t been somehow. Road Trip!

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  241. 241
    Michael F. Boyd

    I want to go to Keeper Hill, the highest point in County Tipperary, Ireland and then to the Mull of Galloway, Scotland.

    Like

  242. John Gorrie is my new personal hero. Thank you

    Like

  243. One state away, there is an old abandoned Wizard of Oz theme park (creepy and weird, as abandoned theme parks have to be), and they’re opening it back up just to do tours and for people to take photos (the rides are not…operational, probably, or at least not safe, so they’re not going to let people on those. I don’t think.). It would be an excellent weekend roadtrip!

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  244. Obviously, I want to go to the town advertising cheese, hip hop and spiritual advice!

    Like

  245. 245
    Shenanigan70

    My current favorite thing to do when I go to a new city is find the weirdest possible museum to visit. In Reykjavik, Iceland, I went to the Iceland Phallological Museum. (Yes. Penises. Lots of penises.) In Zagreb, Croatia, I sought out the Museum of Broken Dreams, which features items (and their corresponding stories) that people have associated with breakups. Next month when I go to Florence, Italy, I’m deciding between La Specola, which has an impressive collection of anatomically correct wax figures with their guts spilling out and the like, or the Galileo Museum, in which there is a glass jar containing Galileo’s actual severed finger. Decisions, decisions.

    Like

  246. I want to go to Dog Mountain. It’s a mountain in Vermont founded by the artist Stephen Huneck, where dogs can run around free and there’s art to see and there’s also a dog chapel especially for people to reflect on dogs who have passed on. It’s beautiful but I’ve never been there and I want to go and bring my dog Harpo and remember my dog Darwin. Here are some pictures http://www.dogmt.com/Dog-Mountain-Images.html.

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    kidprojectmom recently posted On virginity and cars.

  247. I’m a humor writer. (Yes, I was at Erma this year with you!) My bucket list includes a cross-country train trip alone … for no other reason than to get on the train, sleep in one of those cool sleeper cars, and write about the experience all the way across the USA and back. I’ve been talking about this since before 2009. Amtrak recently came out with a program for writers to do just this, but I was NOT chosen for the program. I was crushed.

    The book of humor essays will be called TRAIN OF THOUGHT, and I’ve already got the cover for the book. I just have to take the trip! SOMEDAY before I die…

    Oh, I would definitely need the sunscreen for the observation car with all that sunshine. I burn like leftover pizza in a badly wired toaster oven.

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  248. For all you folks planning trips to New Orleans, I highly recommend the UCM Museum (“You see ’em”) in Abita Springs.

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  249. 249
    Solstice

    I would love to do a New Mexico road trip (pretty easy, since I live in Arizona – aka “home of the really big holes”). But unlike all the people I know who are like “ooh, New Mexico road trip! Let’s go to Santa Fe for art and culture and stuff,” mine would be less culture and more pop culture. I want to go to Albuquerque and drive around and look for all the places from Breaking Bad (I loved that show so very, very much).. I want to go to the Very Large Array, because I am a sci fi geek and it’s been in a bunch of my favorite movies (2010, anyone?). And I want to go to Truth or Consequences because (a) who doesn’t love a town that renamed itself after a quiz show; and (b) Doctor Who.

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  250. I would like to move to Vancouver from Ottawa because I have a degenerative nerve condition from dialysis (peripheral neuropathy) so I can’t walk very well. Walking on snow and ice is out of the question as I lose balance and fall before I realize it is happening. Vancouver is mostly snow/ice free so i can get out and exercise the little bit that is possible. Also my Mum lives in Vancouver and I haven’t seen her for years. The prepaid card would be of great help in getting across the continent.

    My email is paulccurran@hotmail.com

    Thank you so very much for your consideration.

    Like

  251. IKEA. I want to go to IKEA. There isn’t one for over 300 miles where I live, and it’s unfair, and I want to go visit IKEA. For like, days on end. I’d bring a small U-Haul with me (obvs), and spend time in the cafe eating famous IKEA meatballs & other cheap yet delicious goodies that I’m always reading about on Pinterest and every web post about IKEA hacks. Then I would spend days in various areas of the store. Starting with the bedroom section. I’ll try out every room, bring some reading material, maybe my tablet so I can watch a few movies once I move to the living room area & start sampling couches. When I get to the kitchen area, obviously I would bring a friend or two to sit down over a cuppa with me so that I could properly figure out which tables/chairs/placemats/silverware that I most prefer.

    Basically, I want to take a vacation TO and INSIDE an IKEA. Because I’m a cool DIY’er, and I also love the challenge of putting together cheap furniture with unintelligible directions. Really and truly, it sounds like a dream. Please, Blue Lizard, send me to the make-it-yourself funland that is IKEA!

    (Also…since you may be thinking, “but wait, this girl could never use our sunscreen in the great land that is IKEA, bc it is an indoors facility…let me assure you: my medical condition requires me to stay out of the sun, lest I burn (which I do, easily), so I would HAVE to use your sunscreen just to get from the door or my car to the door of the IKEA building. Unless parking is underground. In which case, you should send me to an IKEA where parking is out in the elements…or give your fantastic prize money to someone else altogether.)

    Jenny, great post; great vacation. I hope to one day (mostly) follow in your steps & visit a place or two on your list!

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  252. My partner-in-crime and I were just talking about how long it’s been since we’ve taken a vacation that did not involved going back home to visit family (6 years, btw). Family is awesome, but not as awesome as occasionally going somewhere that is not your childhood bedroom. So this summer we’re going to go down to the Florida Keys. It will be nice to see Hemingway’s cats and the street performers, but the highlight is going to be the Dry Tortugas. It’s a giant 19th-century fort that was obsolete before they even finished it, so it became a prison and is now a national park. You have to take a ferry or a sea plane to get there, but you can camp and snorkel, AND Dr. Samuel Mudd–the most controversial Lincoln conspirator–was imprisoned there. It is really the whole package.

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  253. I want to go to Alaska and go king salmon fishing and halibut fishing. Because I think it’d be awesome to catch a fish that weighs more than me. Also, I want to stay at Sarah Palin’s house. But only by invitation because I think that anything other than that would be considered rude, or stalking? Maybe both of those are true? Anyway, that’s mine.
    P.S. How do I give you my email without it being made public on the post? Well, I am a subscriber to your blog so maybe you already have that information? Who knows? $500 won’t pay for my trip anyhow and there are better comments than this, so… What-the-fuck-ever, no biggie, unless your talking about the big dick rock? And now, that’s a biggie.

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    Karen Lyles recently posted Possibly the Longest 5 Days of My Life.

  254. More than anything my little Whovian and I want to visit Cardiff and London to visit sites from the show! And listen to dreamy British accents. And possibly stalk Matt (she loves 11) and David (but of course 10 is much better…) but in a subtle way so we don’t get deported. But if we did we would tell you all about it!!

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  255. That’s totally an AWESOME idea. I might have to taxidermy them into Ying and Yang.

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  256. 256
    Katharine

    I love road trips with a combo of mainstream attractions and weirdo attractions! I’d like to do a trip through New England before we move away from the east coast this winter. Although I suspect that New England will not have nearly as many weirdo attractions as the southwest. The east coast is so deprived…

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  257. P.S. I would be driving across the continent through the US so I can see some bloggers on the way. paulccurran@hotmail.com

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  258. I have been jonesing to go see the oldest living things in our country, so I think I’d like to start with a trip to Northern California to see some old-ass trees!🙂

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  259. I want to road trip to visit my parents and use the money to stay at a hotel so we can actually enjoy the visit and not have to lose one of my children in a pile of random crap my parents have picked up at garage sales. I like to live dangerously and all, just not risk tetanus.

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  260. The giant mosquito in Komarno, Manitoba, obviously. “The mosquito capital of Manitoba!” Added benefit of West Nile risk factor (and frost bite, depending on the month).

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  261. What a crazy adventure. So happy you finally got to see a giant nut. We would
    like to go check out the Oregon Trail Interpretive Center. We’ve been reading Little House on the Prairie and my kids are fascinated with all things pioneer. .

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  262. I have always wanted to take a road trip to visit all of America’s famous ghost towns and foot-long corndog vendors. How those two things relate, I have no idea. But the ambition hasn’t changed since I was little, so it must be a good one.

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  263. 263
    Christie

    If you ever want to road trip in Canada, you should come to Sudbury, Ontario. We have The Big Nickel – a giant nickel you can visit. And lots of lakes which are octopus-free.

    For me, I want to take a trip to the Mystery Spot I’ve seen signs for in Michigan. My friends and I have passed it several times on our way to & from Gen Con but it’s right in the middle of our 14 hour drive so we’ve never gotten to stop.

    I’ve never heard of Blue Lizard sunscreen before and apparently it’s because they don’t sell or ship it outside the US. Kind of a bummer – I’m always on the lookout for good sunscreen.

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  264. I think you just sold me on visiting that rock…but if I were to take a road trip, I would love to take my boys to Northern California to visit the redwood forests.

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  265. We were just at the Grand Canyon last summer! And the Petrified Forest! But we didn’t get to the Antelope Caverns. I would love to go back and see those.

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  266. I want to to go to Mt. Saint Helens! I love volcanos!

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  267. I want to go to Death Vallley! I imagine I would need LOTS of sunscreen there! Middleearthfan@yahoo.com

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  268. I’d like to visit Powell’s Books in Portland. I live in Oregon, have been in Portland many times yet I’ve never visited Powell’s Books. Silly, huh? But with the $500 I could really get a lot of books. That would be awesome.

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  269. I want to take my daughter on an epic roadtrip across America and visit as many of the restaurants as we can that we’ve seen on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. They have shown some AMAZING out-of-the-way little holes in the wall places!

    jfevansville@gmail.com

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  270. 270
    Amy Cortner

    I would like to go to Vivian, Louisiana, which is where my mother was from. Vivian is near Minden, and Shreveport has probably swallowed both of them up by now, so there might not be much to see. Northern Louisiana is definitely a place I would need Blue Lizard sunscreen, and possibly also some Xanax, depending on whether or not the lady who kept my aunt actually sent her ashes down there to be buried after she (the keeper) got all my aunt’s money out of probate. I don’t care about the money. I just care about the ashes. And a trip to Vivian. Thank you!

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  271. I’ve lived in Colorado for (these go to) eleven years and haven’t yet made it to Durango, Telluride, or the Great Sand Dunes (mostly because of potential sandworms). Also, apparently, Colorado touches Utah (Utah: “Quit it, Colorado!”) where they have Arches, Bryce Canyon, Zion, and Capitol Reef National Parks. I want to go to there (with my awesome husband and fabulous almost 4-year old daughter).

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  272. I’d like to take a Wisconsin road trip. Stay at Camp Wandawega, find some awesomely old fashioned supper clubs, visit some lovely cheesemakers, and tour the ultra weird House on the Rock near Spring Green.

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  273. I want to go explore all the state parks Illinois has to offer, Starved Rock is AMAZING. I want to hike more and see more!

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  274. I live in the town where the giant pistachio is! I want to see the Northern Lights before I die. Not that I’m planning on THAT happening anytime soon!

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  275. I love everything about this post. Weird shit road trips are the spice of life. AtlasObscura.com is my favorite website for planning all my road trips.

    I am very excited to check out Polly at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese when I visit London for the first time next month: http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/polly-at-ye-olde-cheshire-cheese Not only did he love to insult patrons he disliked, he died of exhaustion, imitating the sound of popping champagne corks over 400 times. I feel certain I was Polly in a previous life.

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  276. I’d really like to see the world’s largest wooden prairie dog, please make my dreams come true.

    Like

  277. Our next trip is a bit of island hopping in Hawaii for our 10th anniversary. Lots of need for sunscreen! We’ll be going to the Big Island to see the volcano for a couple of days, to Oahu to see Pearl Harbor for a day, then we’ll finish off at just over a week in Kauai for the quiet natural beauty of the Garden Island. Lots of snorkeling too!

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  278. I would love to tour Antelope Canyon. Do they have Water Toilets there too? I promise not to drink out of it. This summer we are taking our daughter to Universal Orlando for her 12th birthday because Harry Potter and Hogwarts! So excited!!

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  279. 279
    Michelle

    I SERIOUSLY NEED TO TAKE THIS ROAD TRIP! It would be like stalking except not really

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  280. i live in a town where a famous horse is buried under a chapel and another famous horse is stuffed and in a museum. you should come here. also, we have confederate re-enactors who ride down the streets. so, maybe not.

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  281. 281
    Anonymous

    I would love to go to Panama City Beach and eat at Dirty Dick’S Crab Shack. Great food. Too much information? Of course shelling on the beach is required which would make sunscreen mandatory

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  282. This post has reminded me that I need to stock up on sunscreen because my mom and I are going on a road trip to visit Upper Canada Village at the end of June. It’s a 1860s historical village. There will be petticoats and bonnets and adventures! We won’t be wearing the petticoats and bonnets because, let’s face it, it’s a little crazy to dress like that and then walk around in the heat, but we will most definitely be having the adventures. I send you the highest of fives!

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  283. California. I have a close friend and we’ve known each other for nearing 15 years now yet never met up in person due to finances. Also, all of my immediate family has been to California at some point except for me. This is totally unfair and should to be fixed ASAP.

    Short of that, it would be fun to visit some of the places highlighted on the PBS series Rare Visions and Roadside Revelations. http://kcpt.org/programs/local-programs/rare-visions-and-roadside-revelations/

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  284. I have always wanted to take Amtrack from California to Maine. Ride the rails and see the country. Or, map out the most awesome road trip ever, making sure to make stops at all the kitchiest spots along the way, of course! I’ve already seen the largest thermometer and it was AWESOME!

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  285. Oh man, there are so many things I want to road trip to! Probably top of my list right now is the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller, Alberta and the Philip J. Currie Dinosaur Museum further north in Wembley. Who wouldn’t want to road trip to see Baby Dinosaur Fossils!

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  286. I have always wanted to charter a deep sea sub, and keep thinking about doing it for my 50th birthday:: http://www.stanleysubmarines.com/expeditions/2000ft-expedition/ You go from the land of constantly burning South American sun in Honduras, down 2000ft into the dark, frigid depths of an alien world. In that perpetual inkiness, you see some of the eeriest creatures sharing the planet with us. Maybe it’s where Father Dagon and Mother Hydra vacation for the winter, and I can catch a glimpse of them there. :}

    Like

  287. Thanks for going to the one part of the US I’ve never been to and clued me in to the freaky roadside stuff I love (and seems to be disappearing every day). And I use sunscreen.

    Like

    kegbot1 recently posted One of those days. . ..

  288. I want to go to Geode Fest in Hamilton, Illonois this year! Three days of hiking, wading rivers, and digging in the dirt to find shiny rocks sounds amazing to me.

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  289. awww.. i miss road trips. Did them all the time in my younger years. I’d like to finally stop at the bridge over the interstate in Nebraska because it’s apparently the coolest thing in the state. Maybe find something actually cool in that state. Finding something to not make me hate Nebraska has been a goal of mine for years now. I just have a hard time going back to that state.

    I’d also like to get back to Salem to check out less disappointing museums than the Official Salem Witch Trial Museum.

    And maybe finally see national landmarks, like the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Mt Rushmore, largest ball of twine, whatever.

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  290. Seeing the Grand Canyon is on my bucket list. My husband & I have tried 3 times to book a rafting trip to Grand Canyon. For his 30th birthday, I surprised him with a booking paid for by squirreling away money for a year (which he never noticed). But we decided to use that money to buy a house instead.
    The next time we tried to see the Grand Canyon, after rebooking our trip, we decided to move to a different house closer to work.
    The next year we rebooked and had to cancel because I got pregnant.
    He’s been to Vegas a couple times, and each time promised not to take one of those helicoptor tours to the Grand Canyon so that we could see it together for the first time.
    Damn it – I want to see big holes in the ground too!

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  291. Darwin, Minnesota is home to the world’s largest ball of twine. I’d post a picture of it but I don’t want to spoil the magic of seeing it in person for the first time. Also, the internet might break from the majesty of such an image. Maybe Instagram should create a filter that attempts to capture the fuzziness of twine. Such an endeavor would surely lead to everyone getting all strung out and the eventual unraveling of polite society but I digress. Anyway, your next road trip should be to Darwin so you can see this tightly wound spectacle and acres upon acres of corn.

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  292. I want to go somewhere with a beach. It doesn’t even have to be a warm beach. The Oregon coast is beautiful! And cold. But somewhere I can see ocean. Bandon maybe. They have ocean AND a cheese factory.

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  293. 293
    Christina M

    Your road trip looks like it was epic! I would love to visit the Grand Canyon someday, but for now I’d settle for taking my kids to Acadia National Park. My husband and I went for our anniversary a few years ago and loved it!

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  294. Some day I’d love to do a road trip to Montreal in search of the best poutine. Mmmm, fries, gravy and cheese curds! The sunscreen would keep me from getting skin cancer while I happily clogged my arteries.😉

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    Ealachan recently posted This Plant May Have It Out For Me.

  295. My husband is in the military, and currently stationed several states away – being able to road trip somewhere midway between us to have adventures and see each other would be breathtakingly lovely.

    There’s this jerky stand I’ve driven by on the (long) road to him that is a giant alien space ship (I believe it’s just outside of Las Vegas?) that I want to visit, and there are so many awesome places we could go!

    I think one of the coolest things we could do, though, is get me out to San Diego where he is, and explore it together. There are so many beautiful historic buildings – and they have DUCK BOATS in San Diego!

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  296. Hubby and I went to New Mexico once, but we weren’t able to really go sight seeing and there was a dinosaur place that we had to skip that I would love to go back and see.
    (email since WP is being funny about letting me comment: patricialynne07@gmail.com)

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  297. I want to go on a petting zoo trip. Your America and hit up all the janky petting zoos we can find. My girls are obsessed with them and I’d like to just knock them all out so I can say “nope, we’ve already met that goat!” The amount of tshirts eaten and hand sanitizer used is a bit out of control. We could even sunscreen their little wet animal noses

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  298. I want to go to New Orleans to buy a genuine voodoo doll and take genuine voodoo lessons on how to use it genuinely and then return home where I’ll genuinely use it.

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  299. I should first ask who is judging the contest because if it is you, I need to say something weird and wonderful and maybe slightly horrifying? So how about Tennessee’s “Backyard Terrors and Dinosaur Park”, because why not? But what I would actually want to do is see the tropics, which is a lifelong dream. I haven’t been because I had skin cancer when I was 30 (35, now!), and I tend to stay out of the sun. But with Blue Lizard I would brave the sun to live my tropical dream!❤

    Liked by 1 person

  300. Oooohhhh road trips!!! We love them. Oregon/Seattle/Montana on my short list. But, we’re from AZ so … Short list of Long Drives?!? Whatever. We are road warriors. Let’s do this!!!

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  301. 301
    Alicia Madsen

    I would love to take a cross country train. Or drive up the pacific coast highway. Or drive through a red wood tree. I would love to see the Bad Lands. Or Idaho. I love me some potatoes. I would love to go to Kentucky and bourbon taste my way through it. Alaska!! I love blueberries AND salmon! How cool would it be to do all that in one trip!!

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  302. 302
    Jennifer

    I’m already going to Grand Canyon and Antelope this summer (and Zion). Would love our next road trip to be through some mountains somewhere. I’d even take a Blue Lizard cutout and send pictures of it on the journey (a la garden gnome). If I’m lucky I’ll even FIND a lizard to take a picture with, or put sunscreen on.

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  303. Since I am Canadian I have to represent (and also because our dollar sucks so staying in our country is just cheaper) – Narcisse Manitoba – what’s there you ask? Well the Narcisse snake dens of course – picture it (or just google it) – thousands of garter snakes mating (spring) or returning for hibernation (fall) – with the added bonus of a giant garter snake statue for further photo ops.

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  304. 304
    Carol S.

    Can I win if I live in Canada? I want to go interior canoeing in the wilds of Algonquin park again… on last year’s trip we saw a wolf chasing a deer. Which was awesome. But then the wolf turned and looked at us across the lake and all I could think of was if we looked tasty… I’m thinking sunscreen would make us taste bad, and would help us not get eaten. Unless it’s a tasty sunscreen? What flavour is it, do you know?

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  305. Devil’s Tower. I’ve wanted to see that ever since Richard Dreyfus sculpted it out of mashed potatoes. But I really think you should give the $500 to that poor girl that’s never been to IKEA because it’s so far away. Horrors . . . .

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  306. I’d like to take a trip with my favorite people – my sissy & her family + my family to the beach & let the kids draw weird things in the sand, pick through garbage, gather too many sea shells, run from waves and we all don’t get sunburned because of the sun lotion that’s supposed to not let us get burned.

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  307. At this point it feels like it will be the trip of a lifetime for me and it I’m not sure if it’ll happen. The plan is for my mother, my sister, and myself to go visit the theme parks in Florida (Disney & Universal). My mom and I will fly to Georgia and, from there, we’ll all drive to Florida.
    The hurtles are:
    -My sister, a widow, works two jobs and might not be able to get the time off. (She tentatively has been scheduled to be off, but there’s a chance someone with seniority will bump her request.)
    -My mother, in her seventies and also a widow, is becoming a bit more frail than she realizes/admits.
    -I’m having my own expensive, time-consuming, and exhausting health issues. Also I’ve never tried doing a road trip with food allergies before. Should be fun.

    We had actually planned to do this trip last year, but my sister couldn’t get the time off. My mom really wants to make the trip before she’s too frail. Of the three of us, I think my mom is the most excited about going on all the rides. I just want to see Hogwarts. I’ve even knitted a carrying case for a magic wand. I’m ready.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  308. 308
    Anonymous

    Honest to god I just want to see the giant hands after seeing this post. Otherwise, I’d settle for getting to Australia. But tough call.

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  309. 309
    Morgan Y

    The Badlands! It’s gotta happen this summer or the next!

    Like

  310. redwood national forest! with a pitstop in yellowstone! i’v ebeen kicking around some vacation ideas with friends, and a lot of the stuff we want to do–nature-y, adventure-y, take-your-breath-away-y–are in far-off places like iceland and new zealand (definitely still on the to-go-to list) but they’re ALSO right here in the country where we live. (in places we haven’t been yet. but it’s here!) and that’s pretty awesome in and of itself.

    p.s. when i saw the grand canyon a couple years ago, i cried. multiple times. it was one of those ‘i am just a speck in this wide universe’ moments. definitely my favorite hole-spectacle thus far.

    Like

  311. We are headed in 70 days to Iceland for a road trip to see geysers and waterfalls, but also turf houses and a rock museum. And we may venture out to see a plane wreck on a black sand beach.

    Like

  312. I want to take my kids to see the ocean! Living in Chicago is way too cold sometimes. Its May. and its freezing here! 🙂

    Like

  313. I just moved from Michigan to Arizona. Thank you for beating my homesickness by letting me know I can go see a rock that looks like a penis. No joke. I literally just texted all my friends! You have lifted my spirits!!!!! Also, agreed, New Mexico is all Mad Max Thunderdome in terms of scenery:/

    Like

  314. The number one item on my bucket list (maybe more than one….) is to go to every Disney related theme park on the planet. North American ones would be a more realistic goal but a girl’s gotta dream big.

    Like

  315. I’ve always wanted to go to the unclaimed baggage store in Scottsdale Arizona. I don’t even know if i’d buy anything. Although with $500, I’d certainly would. I just want to see what stuff gets lost and forgotten and never seen again. It’s like an accidental Goodwill store!

    Like

  316. crap I meant Scottsdale Alabama. That’s different. I’ll never win now.

    Like

  317. 317
    Ooh_Lala

    In 1984 my family road tripped from California to New Orleans. My step sister and I fought so much all the way through Texas that we were banned from going to the World’s Fair. That must have been one epic battle in the back of the Ford Econoline Van. I’m turning 45 next month and would love to take my own family on an amazing road trip…minus the epic battles.

    Like

  318. and it’s Scottsboro Alabama. Hell I’m pretty sure I’ve been disqualified.

    Like

  319. It WAS my dream to go snorkelling in Turks and Caicos, but I’m actually going there in December (cheap cruise with parents, lol). My other dream is to go to New Zealand and see the sets for Lord of the Rings, the hobbit village in particular, which apparently is still set up for visitors. My fantasy trip would to be to go out West and see the Giant Hoe in Saskatchewan, but it only exists on TV. I’ve already seen the Giant Goose in Wawa. It’s pretty impressive, let me tell you.

    Like

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  320. Although I need to expand my horizons and get out of California more, I have always wanted to do the entire Pacific Coast Highway (Highway 1). The trip would go north, because although I LOVE Southern California sunshine and beaches, the wild coast of Northern California and the majestic redwoods have my heart. Of course, we would need a convertible (and accompanying sunscreen). My kids would be required to listen to ALL the folk music!

    Like

  321. I have been trying to get my family to go on a road trip since we moved to California. My husband is getting a Ph.D while we are here, but once that is done, I have no idea where we will be. So I want to make sure we see all the sights that we can before we move. But, for the Love of PETE, have you seen this State? It’s GINORMOUS. $500 would help us see such wonders as Yosemite, Joshua Tree, the Redwoods, and even some weirder places like Skeletons in the Closet: The LA Coroner Gift Shop or the Museum of Death in Hollywood.

    Like

  322. I want to attend the Testicle Festival, in Clinton, Montana. Just for bragging rights. http://therockcreeklodge.com/testy-fest/

    Like

  323. 323
    nonsequiturchica

    I would love to go to Philly and see the Mutter Museum. It’s collections of anatomical specimens, models, and medical equipment that I should have seen when I lived in Philly but never went.

    Like

  324. 324
    Anonymous

    Oh wow. The places people in the comments want to go sound so awesome I feel a little silly saying I just want to visit the lighthouses in my state in the fall. And I would need the sunscreen because who doesn’t want to wear something called Blue Lizard and I’m seriously pale. I realllly follow the doctor’s advice after a precancerous removal.

    Like

  325. Oh wow. The places people in the comments want to go sound so awesome I feel a little silly saying I just want to visit the lighthouses in my state in the fall. And I would need the sunscreen because who doesn’t want to wear something called Blue Lizard and I’m seriously pale. I realllly follow the doctor’s advice after a precancerous removal.

    Like

  326. I have always wanted to see The Thing, but could never convince my husband to stop! If I win – we are going there!!!

    Like

  327. 327
    Kelly Piatt

    I want to drive over the “Going to the Sun” road in Glacier National Park! Perfect place to use my Blue Lizard! says the redheaded freckled girl. I love stopping at those odd little roadside places. Puts the character in the road trips. My dream is to visit all the National Parks before I die, although if I don’t make it I might have my kids take my ashes for me.

    Like

  328. I’ve been pining over an England/Ireland/Scotland trip for a while, and the one thing I’d absolutely have to see there are the Cliffs of Insanity (aka the Cliffs of Moher). “Inconceivable,” you say? I think not. =]

    Like

  329. 329
    Darylanne

    My dream road trip would be to take my husband to Colorado so he can ski. He was born a paraplegic and learned to mono-ski as a child. He still donates his time to Stride Adaptive Sports, the program for disabled children, that helped him as a child. He has been a ski instructor for them; a coach and player on their sled hockey team; and recently raised over $500 in pledges for them, when he participated in a 100K ski relay; as well as being a counselor on their camping trips; etc. There is NOTHING he loves more in this world than skiing (except hopefully me lol), and it makes me happy that he gets so much joy from it. I would do anything in the world for this wonderful man, and hope someday I can give him his dream vacation (and finally let him try and teach me, as he has always wanted).
    I am sorry this is very long, I know most people wrote only a sentence but I couldn’t help myself. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share Sean’s story, and the possibility of making this dream come true.❤

    Here is a link of my wonderful hubby and his mono-ski:

    PS
    I am very stereotypically Irish (pale, red hair, freckles, green eyes etc.) so sunscreen is my best friend lol.
    Thank you Jenny and thank you Blue Lizard for this opportunity.

    Like

  330. I totally want to go whale watching on one of those tour boats out of Seattle. Need lots of sunscreen on a boat.😉

    Like

  331. i want to go see the wild ponies in Chincoteague! i’ve been dying to go there since i read the Misty books in the early 80s.

    Like

  332. When I was a kid, every night I went to an imaginary place called Little Town. It was rather idyllic, as I recall. I want to go there.

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  333. That sounds amazing! My fiancé and I want to go to Thailand to visit the Elephant Conservation Center, try through the jungle, see the tiger monastery (it’s a real place! You can get a picture taken of a tiger resting his head in your lap), and lounge on the beaches🙂

    Like

  334. Wow – everyone has posted such great trips! I want to go to Ireland, which I probably wouldn’t need sunscreen for, since they seem kind of pasty there, but I would still use it anyway, because you can never be too careful. That should be the name of my book – when I write it . . . if I ever do, that is.

    Like

  335. One place I have always wanted to visit and explore is New Orleans.

    Like

  336. Huh. I’ve actually been looking for some good sunscreen for our trips to Disney. I’ll check them out for sure.

    I would LOVE to take a road trip up to South Dakota to see where my grandmother and grandfather are buried. My grandmother died here in Florida but was buried next to my grandfather in SD. I realize that sounds a little morbid but I’m sure there are a ton of fun things to do on the way (Graceland? Dollywood?). My husband will probably nix this idea and make us take a road trip to TX to see his family instead. Such is life.

    Like

  337. I’ve driven from New Mexico to California several times but never stopped at the Meteor Crater. i must do this soon.

    Like

  338. Someday I will visit the Corn Palace, but I have yet to find a need to be in South Dakota. But someday…

    Like

  339. 339
    Karen in Michigan

    My sister and I really want to take that train ride to the Grand Canyon. I’ve flown over it but never seen it up close. And we both really like trains.

    Like

  340. Once, on a road trip to Nova Scotia, I made the route go the long way thru New Brunswick just to see the World’s Largest Axe. Totally worth it.

    Like

  341. Ah, The Thing. Best advertising, worst exhibit ever.

    Like

  342. I really really need to get to Glacier National Park before all the glaciers are gone because you know, global warming and shit.

    Like

  343. The Wizard of Oz theme park will be open on Fridays in June here in NC; it’s a theme park that’s been abandoned since the 70’s, and is now all haunted and grown over. I can’t wait.

    Like

  344. My kid wants to be a park ranger when he grows up and he has “heard rumors of these super giant trees” that grow in northern California. So I want to take him on a road trip through the Redwood Forrest. You know, to cement his life plan as a tree herder!

    Like

  345. I’m dying to show my kids what real autumn looks like. See, we live near where Jenny traveled on her road trip, where there are few deciduous trees. I’d love to drive back east in the fall.

    Like

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  346. I would love to road trip to the Grand Canyon. But I’d want to rent a convertible Thelma & Louise style!

    Like

  347. 347
    Wendy Carson

    After reading many of the comments and hearing about all the wonderful places that everyone wants to visit (great ideas by the way) instead of naming a place, I would like to give a vote for Darylanne | May 18, 2016 at 10:03 am- Her story is inspiring and it put a smile on my face! I hope she gets to take her husband skiing🙂

    Like

  348. I really want to go see the Olympic National Park, climb some mountains, and then stay in a nice AirBnB with friends! Perfect,relaxing, outdoor vacay!

    Like

  349. I’m moving to florida, and I want to see some damn alligators! and feed them chicken. and maybe touch one? but only a small one. Also, i’m a paley mcpalerson, so some Blue Lizard is right up my alley.

    Like

  350. I’d like to take my fam to see sunny California to walk down the crookedest street in San Fran, then head to Glass Beach to marvel at all the trash turned to treasure(ish), pan for Gold in them thar hills, head down to Monterey Bay Aquarium to Squeee! over the sea otters, and hit up Hollyweird to round it all off. My alabaster skin totally needs the Blue Lizard to survive the CA sun!

    I thought the giant pistachio nut looked like Audrey II.

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  351. I’d love to head back to visit Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton NJ, Acres of sculpture and statues from life size to giant. http://www.groundsforsculpture.org/index.cfm

    Like

  352. I would like to drive Highway 1 all the way from Fort Kent, Maine to Key West. Sars over at Tomato Nation did it a number of years ago, and it just sounded fabulous. Plus I love Key West. And Maine. And roadtrips.

    Failing that, thank you for allowing me to live YOUR most awesome of roadtrips vicariously!!!

    Like

  353. I’d like to visit whaley House in California apparently its considered one of the most haunted places in America, Potato chip rock ,and the international banana museum because they are all in California and why not!!

    Like

  354. The Garden of Eden in Lucas, Kansas for the art. Also, I’ve never been to Kansas and people always ask if I’m from there because Kansas is my (real, unchanged) last name!

    Like

  355. A bucket list place for me to visit would be Arles, France, simply due to the volume of artworks Vincent Van Gogh created while in Arles. I would love to see the various subjects he painted while walking down the streets and put myself into his shoes, attempt to see through his eyes.🙂

    Like

  356. My daughter and I want to go Disney land! She’s 5 and obsessed with Princesses, trains and ice cream – Disney fits the bill for all three!

    Like

  357. Fun serendipity you running this. I have been longing for a trip to Balboa Park in San Diego. Space Museum, Museum of Man, awesome international village and the Zoo! Only way it will happen is to win a contest so here goes nothin’!

    Like

  358. I would like to go to Kerrville, TX, about twenty miles away, because they have a Taco Bell and we don’t have one here. Obviously, my needs are small.

    Like

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  359. I heard that there are spiders in Costa Rica that are as big as dinner plates. AND we need new place settings!

    Like

  360. My husband and daughter are way into ghosts, so while they ghost tour, I’ll sit in the hotel and eat room service. I don’t care where.

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  361. How fun! We’re actually looking at taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon this summer, but now you have given me many more ideas to add to the trip!

    Like

  362. I would like to visit Helen, GA. It is a re-creation of a Bavarian Alpine village in north GA.

    Like

  363. I would like to take a walk through the Kruger Nation Park in South Africa, as long as i am accompanied by a guy with a huge ass gun.

    Like

  364. 364
    Elizabeth johnson

    We like to put shit on our back and hike thru the cascade mountains…not a road trip, as we r already crazy for putting shit in our backs and hiking😂

    Like

  365. I’ve seen some of the things you saw as my family lives in New Mexico, but I would love to go to Glacier National Park.

    Like

  366. I would love to see the One Log House which is located just south of Garberville, CA, apparently. It’s a house inside a log, and I’m intrigued.

    Like

  367. I would love to road trip from Minnesota to Texas, because we all know that y’all Texans need to see a ghost white Minnesotan who needs some sunscreen…. and a cowboy, so if you know of any hit me up!!😉

    Like

  368. 368
    Cindy deRosier

    Best sponsored post EVER.

    We’re road-tripping to Utah this summer. I’m pale enough that I need to pack sunscreen in gallon containers. $500 would just about cover it.

    Like

  369. My husband and I have big dreams of traveling westward in an RV, stopping whenever we see something interesting, camping, staying in haunted hotels and eventually hitting a few national parks. Whenever w go on vacation, sunscreen is always at the top of my packing list because my husband is the poster child for melanoma and I have tattoos that I paid way too much for to ruin them with overexposure to sunlight.

    Like

  370. My husband has been depressed lately. I’ve been working to help him and he is seeing a counselor. His posts on facebook are of the lets run away together variety, and I know a road trip would go a long way to lightening his spirits, if even temporarily. I’d take him to see a baseball game at a stadium we’ve never been to – maybe Wrigley. Or maybe we’d drive to the east coast and visit all sorts of historical museums – he loves history and I love ghosts so that’d be a win either way! I know neither compare to the biggest nut ever, and I definitely need to get out and see the thingy at some point! Thanks for sharing your adventure with us!
    Stacy

    Like

  371. 371
    Joy Tietje

    For an actual road trip, my husband has been trying to get me to NYC for years. I don’t think he realizes that I will spend the entire trip quoting Kimmy Schmitt, Liz Lemon, and every broadway cast album I have ever heard.

    Here in NC they just announced that an old abandoned Wizard of Oz theme park will be giving tours soon. The movie by itself is creepy, so you know that’s going to be awesome.

    Like

  372. The Viking and I love road trips! The longer, the better! Turn up the music, break out the snacks and let’s hit the road! Have credit card…..will travel! The Redwoods are calling my name and the echo is on the Appalachian Trail. Sayonara Motherfuckers!

    Like

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  373. My husband wants to take me on a 2 week road trip to see north California and some national parks. We plans the best road trips ever. If it’s weird stuff your looking for he’s your guy. On our move to Las Vegas from Florida we made a beeline to the worlds largest office chair and many other amazing places.

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  374. I want to see the giant Redwoods in California. My parents took us to CA lots as kids and we never went ):

    Like

  375. Road trips ate my favourite! I want to do Route 66 one day and the Hana Highway in Maui.

    Like

  376. Sooooo much to love here:). So many laughs, from the mixed messages to the Donald Trump resting face. But my favorite has to be: Dust storms: the most exciting thing I’ve seen in 3 hours is mobile dirt.
    Brilliant:).

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  377. 377
    Melissa Bee

    I want to drive Route 66 to LA, take the Pacific Coast Highway as far north as possible, and come back east through Yellowstone, Mt Rushmore, the Badlands, etc. stopping at as many National Parks and weird kitschy tourist traps along the way as possible. My dad says I’d get tired of driving. There’s only one way to find out!

    Like

  378. There is a tiger sanctuary near us and I feel like $500 would be enough to bribe them to let me cuddle one.

    Like

  379. I would totally use this to take my kids on a trip this summer – nowhere big or exciting but going away for two nights and playing some mini golf would be really wonderful for our family (and doable on 500$). But if money was no object I want to go to the abandoned mine in Wales? that has been converted to a trampoline/adventure place.

    And I have seen the worlds largest blueberry (Oxford, NS), and nickel (Sudbury, ON), and I live pretty close to the tallest totem pole in the world, so I have had some excitement in my life.

    Like

  380. 380
    Katie Wilmot

    NYC all the way! Granted $500 wont go far…but it’s enough motivation to BOOK THE TICKETS!

    Like

  381. I really just want to go anywhere!!! And see anything!!! It’s been so long since I’ve just had a road trip with no strict itinerary. And also, my fiance and 2 kids and I have not been on a vacation with just us. Ever. It’s the saddest thing.😦

    Like

  382. 382
    Anonymous

    I really want to go to Giraffe Manor. Well, actually? I really want a giraffe. Except that my getting a giraffe or going to Giraffe Manor are pretty equally not gonna happen. There are lots of day trip places to go around in KY that I want to visit and I’m sure a nice hefty VISA card will come in handy. I loved your sponsored post.

    Like

  383. ROADTRIIIIIIP! I love roadtrips. My favorite is following Route 66 and stopping at all of the places that Elvis frequented.

    I’ve moved to the South from the Midwest and I’m really aching to do the Blues highway from Vicksburg, MS to Memphis, TN and then the Bourbon Trail (hitting the haunted sites along the way)… because, well… music, booze and ghosts – what else do you need in life? Also, I plan on taking my dog with me (who has cancer and a bucket list), so that we can make some crazy memories.

    Like

  384. My children beg to pull of I-70 in Kansas to see the 2-headed gopher. So far it hasn’t happened.

    Like

  385. I haven’t drunk out of a toilet since I was diagnosed with melanoma; all the sunscreen goes down the tube instead of coming out of it.

    Like

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  386. 386
    Heather HS

    I want to take my baby to Canada! He needs to see other countries, and we have friends to visit there.

    Like

  387. Road trips are so much fun. I haven’t been on one in forever, but I just broke my tailbone, so it’s gonna be a while before I want to sit in a car for hours.

    Like

  388. I am all about the road trips! I would love to find out what’s so bad about the badlands!

    Like

  389. 389
    Anonymous

    I have been having a stone blast reading all these wonderful comments! Being a writer of paranormal nonfiction, I know I’m supposed to say I want to visit Savannah or New Orleans (although NOLA would be great because beignets!!!!) But ever since I was young, I have wanted to visit Plimoth Plantation and Plymouth Rock. Apparently the rock is a bit underwhelming, more of a stone than a rock. But an ancestor of mine (George Soule) came over on the Mayflower, and I’ve always wanted to see his restored cabin. And yeah, I’d totally take the train there!

    This goofy thing won’t let me post my email.:/ I’m at pompeii100 (@) yahoo (dot) com. And I am shamefully behind on blog posts. I’ll catch up soon, I promise!

    Like

  390. I would love to take a car tour across Kansas — the Pony Express stops to the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve. Leisurely country roads, big sky, horizon too far away to see —

    Like

  391. My husband and i recently lost our little buddy Maxx. he was a Solomon island Eclectus and the love of our life. Ive had a hard time getting over his passing and thought we might take a trip to the Solomon islands to see “his people” and release some of his feathers back into the wild as closure. I wanted to stay at “fat boys resort” as “fat boy” was my husbands pet name for our little boy (he was a pig when he ate). but the resort doesnt have prices listed. Anyway id love to be in the running for a gift card as i have no idea how much this will cost us just yet, and winning some cash would definatly help my husband agree to go with me. I’d definatly be a blue lizard user from now on if we make it there! Good luck to everyone!

    Like

  392. My husband and I really want to go to the Winchester Mansion, stopping in Roswell along the way. Maybe I could trick him into seeing the world’s largest pistachio!

    Like

  393. Well, Obviously a road trip that follows the EXACT JOURNEY of Laura Ingalls Wilder as described in her books. Except without the scary wolves, and field on fire parts.
    Or the winter(s?) where they almost starved to death. Or the time they got sick. EVERYTHING ELSE, YES. This would be my childhood dream come true!

    Like

  394. I would love to take my sons and husband on a cross country road trip to Gettsyburg. I went on a school trip there when I was in the 8th grade but was way too much of a little shit to enjoy how amazing and spooky it was. The hotel we stayed at had a major Shining vibe and my husband would go gaga for that. Maybe we could even dress up our two oldest sons like the twins and scare the bejesus out of some unsuspecting hotel staff. Just a thought. Come on Lizard! Mama needs a new pair of horror stories to tell!

    Like

  395. My husband and I want to visit the Winchester Mansion and the UFO crash site in Roswell. I can probably trick him into seeing the pistachio as well!

    Like

  396. I want to visit Meow Wolf in Santa Fe (https://meowwolf.com/about/visit/): Secret passages! Inter-dimensional and/or travel! Also we would have some delicious tacos.

    Like

  397. My husband wants us to eat our way through Italy. I want to do a road trip through Alaska.

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  398. Well, since I’ve already seen The Thing (truly changed my life in that I finally understood the power of advertising), I would love a road trip to Oregon to do two things I saw on a television show, “Cash and Treasures.” The show was awesome because the hunter was a cool lady and she did awesome treasure hunting in the U.S. In Oregon, she hunted for two things: truffles (actually foraging, but hunting sounds better) and opals (pre-show, I thought they only came from Australia). My family has wanted to do this since watching the show years ago. Plus, we would need a ton of sunscreen.

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  399. I really want to take a road trip up to Seattle! (From the Bay Area in CA.) Not only do they have a big nerd museum, but I need to stop at the place where bears will wave at you in exchange for tossing bread at them, and the drive-thru safari in Oregon!

    Like

  400. Would love to take the family to the Redwoods/Giant Sequoias in CA or the Grand Canyon!

    Like

  401. Weirdly, I live 10 minutes from the zombie hands and have never been there. I’d like to take my family up to Colorado, particularly the Black Canyon of the Gunnison.

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  402. Carhenge, Alliance, Nebraska. Hands down.

    Like

  403. I just really want to go to the original Del Taco location to have extra beefy tacos with ketchup. I hear they’re extra beefy because, honestly, the ones you get from a other non-original Del Tacos tend are truly wimpy. Impress me Del Taco, impress me. OOOOOOooooooo, then I’d like to head over to Las Vegas to check out the Neon Museum. The end. Tacos though.

    Like

  404. I’d go the the Ape Cave in Washington. Because they’re under Mt. St. Helens, so there’s a serious chance of blowing up while you’re there. And even though they insist there are no actual apes, I bet they’re just hiding. http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-ape-caves

    Like

  405. 405
    Christine

    Great post.. I’d love to go see the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore (I have kids.. I should probably do some educational things).

    Like

  406. My kids really want to go see lava. I, however, think we should so somewhere with a smaller chance of death by incineration. Maybe I can convince them that Old faithful is a tiny water volcano. The kids are young, they just might fall for that.

    Like

  407. Being a Chicago-Texan I’ve always wanted to do the whole Southwest/ West Texas get lost tour.
    Lots of Lizardy Sun Goop would be required.
    Get lost tours are such fun….you drive in a predetermined direction, off of major highways, until you either find some place to stay for the night or need gas so bad you’d be willing to suck off a tractor.
    My last Get Lost tour showed me parts of Arkansas that most people have never seen, of course this cover most of that state but whatever.

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  408. We love going up into the redwoods – last year was dressing as an Ewok in the grove where some Star Wars scenes were shot. This year I’d love to dress as a dinosaur and go up to fern canyon, where some of the scenes from Jurassic Park took place!

    Like

  409. My nine-year-old son has been asking to go to Lake Champlain for a couple of years now, so that we can go find Champ, North America’s version of Nessie. He would also like to go see the Oregon vortex, and then go looking for the Pope Lick Monster in Kentucky. Basically, I really want to take my weird kid to weird places.

    Like

  410. I want to take a road trip up California. See all the things!

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  411. I want to go to Brno in Czechlandia (not it’s official name) and see the mummified monks … http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/czechs-capuchin-crypt … and if I won, I could see above the ground attractions too because I’d be wearing the blue lizards pale-skin saving sunscreen!

    Like

  412. Roadside attractions are the best. Almost always not quite what you expected but fulfilling nonetheless.

    Like

  413. 413
    Darylanne

    My link didn’t show up😦 (Comment 329)
    hopefully my story will still make an impression without it. I’d love to take my husband on his dream vacation. This year is our 10yr anniversary and we have never been able to go on a honeymoon or a actual vacation. crosses fingers

    Like

  414. I’ve lived in Arizona for almost 15 years now, and I had to keep making notes while reading this post of all the things I haven’t done yet, but I must do! And it’s so close for me🙂

    Like

  415. I wanna see the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.

    Min-eh-soooda

    Minnesotaaaaaaaa!

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  416. I want to go camping. I’ve never been camping and there is this awesome state park with pristine beaches that you can only reach by ferry. I’m obsessed. But my husban’s all “no wifi AND I have to sleep by myself in a single bunk bed? Phht.” But how could he argue with a paid trip? Plus there are 6 beds and only 5 of us so Rory can come. And he can have a top bunk.

    Like

  417. I would love to take my kids to Arches national park. I went there as a kid and it was very cool and inspiring

    Like

  418. I never knew i needed to see Antelope Canyon until now.

    Like

  419. 419
    Sassypants

    I’m a little shocked that your road trip didn’t include a visit to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Next year perhaps?

    Like

  420. 420
    Jeni Overbey

    I think I’d enjoy traveling with you. Something awesome I’d like to go visit is Mount Rushmore. It’s not too far away from Colorado, and seems like we could have fun driving there. I’m of Swedish descent, so Blue Lizard is on my list for packing on my next road trip. Our family of six likes riding motorcycles, taking road trips and watching movies. Good movies! Bad movies! Horror movies! And playing the alphabet game while we drive. Thanks for sharing your trip – I enjoyed the pictures and your writing.

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  421. 421
    Rebecca Posey

    I have always wanted to take a cross country road trip with the intention of seeing all of the “world’s biggest -_” attractions. Now I know where to find the world’s biggest pistachio, which would make my 4 year old daughter ridiculously excited. She’s weird like that – and also a huge pistachio lover.

    Like

  422. I want to go to NYC and see a Broadway show. I will not drink out of the toilet, promise.

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  423. At some point this summer I’m going to run/drive away from home (don’t worry, my husband will watch the kids…mostly) and go hunt down some Heady Topper in Vermont. It’s a famous India Pale Ale produced by a small family brewery (alchemistbeer.com) that is easy to find on tap – in central Vermont only – but very difficult to find in bottles. I want to hunt it down like a cavewoman after a wooly mammoth, and bring it home to cuddle with. I promise not to drink while driving OR give any to the kids. Mostly because it’s way too good to waste on children.

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  424. I want to drive through Tennessee and Kentucky visiting distilleries and Waffle Houses.

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  425. 425
    Anonymous

    I want to go to Florida and swim with the manatees! I wish I could snuggle with them. They are the aquatic version of my British Shorthair cats.

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  426. I desperately want to go to the beaches of North Carolina again! It’s been years! I also want to go to Yellowstone to NOT pet the baby bison.

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  427. I want to rent a house boat and spend a few nights on Lake Powell.

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  428. Gettysburg! i want to see ghosts!

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  429. The hubs & I hope to one day make it across the country (from NC) to see the Grand Canyon. Or maybe we’ll go to Colorado to get high legally. 🙂

    Also, this is happening soon.
    http://myfox8.com/2016/05/15/land-of-oz-theme-park-in-nc-opening-for-limited-time-next-month/

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  430. I want to take a road trip without any real destination in mind – something where I have a week or so vacation time, my honey, and a convertible, and we just drive off until something catches our interest & we stop – for a while or the night, or whatever. And then do it again & again, until we have to return home.

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  431. I know mine isn’t spectacular, but I would like to ride my motorcycle to Key West. This would take me a couple/three days because my ass cannot take that much time on the bike, so I would have to stop a lot. And I definitely need the sunscreen – the sun is not my friend as I proved last Sunday riding my motorcycle and coming home nice and red (because I forgot sunscreen).

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  432. My whole childhood we would drive from NJ to FL to visit my grandparents. Sadly and perhaps traumatically my parents would NEVER stop at South of the Border. I feel like I have probably missed awesome things. I need to go there.

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  433. I want to take a road trip without any real destination in mind – something where I have a week or so vacation time, my honey, and a convertible, and we just drive off until something catches our interest & we stop – for a while or the night, or whatever. And then do it again & again, until we have to return home

    Like

  434. I would love to take my kids to see the Badlands in South Dakota and stop at the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD along the way. What app were you using in the stone penis picture? A weird road trip app?

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  435. I want to go to Craters of the Moon park! Last time I went it was too early in the year for most of the caves to be open.

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  436. When my parents drove cross country the first time from California to Virginia, my mother kept seeing signs for the “Grand Canyon.” Since she is not from the US, she kept asking my dad, “What is this Grand Canyon?” He replied, “It’s just a big hole in the ground.” So they drove on. After 45 years of marriage, he finally took her to see that big hole in the ground.

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  437. My closest friends have become very scattered geographically. They are the weirdest people I know, and I think a weird-friends-road-trip is called for whereby I visit each friend and they each choose a weird-ass local attraction to visit together! Leave it to chance!

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  438. 438
    Sara in WI

    I’m taking a big trip to Glacier, Yellowstone, and Grand Tetons National Parks in honor of my 40th Birthday. My dream is to visit all of the National Parks someday. And I’m starting with 3 parks and 3 states that I’ve never been to. But I’m one of those people that burn just thinking about being in the sun (or so it seems) – So I’m always looking for great sunscreen. Especially for this trip – btw Jenny, I know that you’d love Grand Tetons, its french for big nipples!

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  439. I’ve always wanted to visit the superlative trees, all of which live in California: Hyperion (the tallest), General Sherman (the biggest), and Methuselah (the oldest). Unfortunately, the locations of Hyperion and Methuselah are kept secret, so I guess I want to go see General Sherman first. Or maybe Sherman first, and then I go wander around Redwood parks and Inyo county and see if I can stumble on the other two.

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  440. We’re heading out east on a road trip this fall. On the agenda? Cushing Brain Collection near New Haven, Connecticut, where there is a collection of brains ridden with tumors and disease. If that’s not a feel good thing, what the heck is? Oh, BTW, love Blue Lizard. My dermatologist turned me on to it a few years back. Good stuff.

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  441. Jenny, your vacations make everyone else’should look unimaginative! I’ve like to take my son to see Arches National Park in Utah befire he turns 18 and I can no longer insist that he get in the car and rive to things he pretends are boring. (I know it’s pretense because later I hear him telling his friends how awesome our vacation was.)

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  442. Ooo I want to road trip to Yellowstone this year. Pinkie swear I will not touch any bison or load them into my car.

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  443. 443
    Rachel Rodriguez

    I am supposed to be taking a trip to Minnesota for a family reunion, including seeing my 83 year old grandma. I would like to road trip to see the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota while I’m there! Famous in Minnesota (and a Weird Al Yankovic song), I’ve wanted to see it for years. The Judy Garland museum is also in Minnesota, and I’d really like to check that out as well.

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  444. I would like to take my son to see the Giant Redwoods in Northern California and drive through the trees there (http://www.drivethrutree.com/home.html). I’d also like to take him on a ride on the skunk train (https://www.skunktrain.com/) and visit the mystery spot (https://www.mysteryspot.com/). That’s the road trip for me.

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  445. 445
    Rebecca Farmer

    I would love to go slide rock it is in Arizona. It is a nature made water slide. You sit down and slide down a river. Who wouldn’t want to do that

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  446. I really want to take a road trip to Muir Woods, then make my way up the coast to Oregon and see Haystack Rock on Cannon Beach where the Goonies were filmed!
    In July I’m going to be driving by myself from western Colorado to San Diego. Along the trip I want to stop at all the places mentioned in a thriller book by one of my favorite author’s Vicki Pettersson called “Swerve.” Very frightening book, but I figured I would be ok since it will be daylight. 🙂

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  447. 447
    Katie Lynn

    I don’t know where I’d go specifically, but if you drive into Northern Michigan there’s always something weird. That’s where I watched a donkey basketball game that one time. (It was literally people riding donkeys and playing basketball. Like a really country version of Polo)

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  448. I want to go to the East coast. . . of Canada. . . . In the fall! You need to frame that sweet shot of Antelope Canyon!

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  449. I want to go to Seattle and do a scavenger hunt to find all the decorative art manhole covers. They move them around so there’s no map. You just have to look.

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  450. My family lives near Tucson, so I’ve had the great pleasure of visiting a lot of the places you got to on this trip. For my dad’s 70th birthday we kidnapped him and took him to the Grand Canyon on the Grand Canyon Railroad, and it was awesome.

    Next time you go through that area, you have to stop in Bisbee. It’s just a little bit further down the road from Tombstone, and it has a legit haunted hotel and great food and even better coffee and bizarre people and taxidermy. And you can stay in a hotel that is made up of nothing but weirdly-decorated Airstream trailers. There’s nothing better than that.

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  451. I want to go to Napa Valley to eat at French Laundry. Considering a single meal there would take up most of the gift card, it would come in very handy!

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  452. My fiance is from Australia and I would love to take him on a road trip to see more of the states. One of the places I would love to go is the Neon Museum, they collect and preserve neon signs from Las Vegas and can learn how they were made and the significance of the signs, what roles they played in the history of Las Vegas. And seriously I would love to see the worlds largest pistachio nut.

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  453. 453
    masonsmama1

    Coral castle and Disney world in Florida. We could recreate our own version of national lampoons vacation.

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  454. 454
    AllForFun

    Thrill rides! A road trip to seek out the best amusement parks. Who can resist a good adrenaline rush? I would end the trip with a stop in Las Vegas to marry the love of my life without the stress of a wedding… just living in the moment

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  455. 455
    Susannah S

    Actually I recently checked one off my bucket list, but I totally need to go back. Peavey’s Monster Mart in Fouke, AR. Home of the one and only Boggy Creek Monster, memorialized in that awesome ’70s movie, “The Legend of Boggy Creek” (and its sequels). A film crew was there just a few weeks ago. My uncle was almost kidnapped by Bigfoot while camping in the Redwoods Forest once so I’ve been totally fascinated with Bigfeet(s) ever since.
    Actually we have a lot of fucked up stuff in Arkansas (Crescent Hotel, Allen House, White River Monster)…I could get a lot of mileage out of $500!

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  456. I’d like to go to Graceland…just to see the jungle room.

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  457. That trip sounds awesome. I’ve always wanted to take a trip around the country to see everything. Of course, that’s entirely not practical, so I’d love to take a trip to New York City and spend an entire day walking through central park before catching a broadway show.

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  458. Family trip to Hawaii to do the Kauai Mountain tubing, snorkeling, hiking and zip lining. To be outside as much as possible!!

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  459. I’m going to see Neolithic underground burial chambers covered in Viking graffiti next month. I hear that there will be puffins nearby! I can’t wait.

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  460. There is a place just outside of St. Louis called “Foot High Pie,” and I always wanted to go there with a ruler and measure a pie to see if they were keeping their ads honest, but whoever I was driving with would never pull over. Are their pies truly a foot high? Or are they full of LIES and only, like, 11.5 inches? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.

    Liked by 1 person

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  461. I Ioved the movie Mongol, so I’d also like to visit a less Ghenghis Khan-y Mongolia to see the giant yak races (There’s a yak festival in July).

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  462. I would love to go hiking/camping in the Blue Ridge Mountains (we’ve been living in NC for 17 years and have never gotten around to visiting). Ooh, or take a road trip to Austin, Texas to visit my sister taking in all the tourist traps allong the way🙂.

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  463. 463
    Jen Vincent

    I want to see a geyser. Doesn’t have to be Ol’ Faithful, but it does need to be geyser-y. And while I’m there I suppose not getting eaten by bears would be good. Oh, and I want to see those cool multi-colored mineral pools that I always see on people’s travel boards on Pinterest.

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  464. 464
    Anonymouse

    Sooo did the terrible Margarita taste like inadequately stirred KoolAid and alcohol that you use to clean projectors? “Cause if so, I’m pretty sure I’ve had that same drink.

    My ultimate road trip is a one to two hour drive by Limo to Momland, where your children are entertained doing cool things like circus classes, and swimming with Dolphins, and juggling fire, while you sit by the pool and get an endless round of wine slushies and foot massages. Occasionally your kids drop by to tell you how much fun they are having and how you are the best parent in the world, and your spouse takes you out to a fancy dinner and actually talks to you without mentioning your kids, or home repair.

    Yay. But back to reality.

    I want to take my kids on an overnight train ride, maybe to Denver, on a train with a actual booze car, and then just do totally touristy shit, like look at trees, and go “Damn those mountains are tall”.

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  465. 465
    Billandjen Hughes

    I want to visit Salem, Mass. Have my pic taken with Elizabeth Montgomery statue. Also visit West Virginia and go to the Mothman Festival. Also have my pic taken with giant Mothman. Maybe visit the old prison where Shawshank Redemption was filmed. Pic in jail cell would be cool. Or in electric chair…..old sparky as it is called.That would be awesome! Jen

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  466. I’d love to go camping in Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, it’s in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.

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  467. I’m happy to say that – due to amazing parents, kids, and the better half – I have seen every one of the items you mentioned / photo’d in the blog.

    Next #FunRoadTrip: Start in San Antonio at the World’s Largest Boot and end in El Paso – the Boot Capital of the World. Along the way, visit Magnificent Seven Texas Caves: Natural Bridge Caverns, Cascade Caverns, Longhorn Caverns, Wonder World, Inner Space Caverns, Sonora Caverns, and Cave without a Name. And – of course – include side trips to see anything sporting a sign that says “World’s Largest…________”.

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  468. My last road trip included a stop in Pioche, NV to which I give the highest recommendation, for the full size mannequins that populate the town (which the actual people seem not to notice but which freaked us the fuck out).

    This summer I am driving cross-country on a trip with my brother and his girlfriend and their dog. We are starting with our feet in the Atlantic and ending with our feet in the Pacific. And I really really want to go see a giant ball of twine in Minnesota – not the largest overall, but the largest ball of twine .

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  469. That’s meant to read – largest ball of twine rolled by a single man.

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  470. 471
    Melanie Ogren

    I want to go to Washington DC and New York City. My kids have travelled to both and I’d like to experience it with my husband.

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  471. My kids and I would love to go to every state capital. We’ve already been to nine, so only 41 to go!

    I would really love to drive down Route 66 from East to West!

    I also would love to drive on the Pacific Coast Highway from California to Washington State, and then keep on going up to Alaska!

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  472. Also – just saw the oldest cemetery in New Orleans, including Marie Leveau’s purported tomb. Interesting facts: the entire cemetery sinks some each year, people have graffiti’d Marie’s grave as a “tribute”, Nicholas Cage bought a spot in there, the Catholic cemetery has a Protestant section in the back, and families share tombs.

    On the tomb-sharing, if someone dies and then the next person passes in less than a year, they put the new dead dude in apartment-style temporary tombs and wait until the old dead dude heats up and dries out enough to turn to dust (about a year), open up the tomb, put the new dead dude in with the dust of the old one, and seal it up again.
    #Awkward

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  473. Back in 2001/2002 I sold my antique camera collection so my family (hubby & 2 young boys) could take a life long dream vacation to Alaska. Sadly my hubby, Brian, passed away unexpectedly on July 9th 2002. He was my protector from the world that terrified me and I went to some dark places until I knew I had to fight the anxieties, depression & failing health to raise our 2 boys….age 10 & 6 at that time. It took a long time and a lot of work but in 2008 we finally took our dream vacation. Might sound a little crazy but we took my beloved Brian with us. He was cremated and every place we visited in Alaska I spread some of his ashes. So his resting place(s) go from our farm in Western NY to Anchorage, AK to a dozen or so places from Fairbanks, AK to Homer, AK!

    Not sure any other trip could top that but I do hope to eventually move to Alaska and when I do I hope to hit all the National Parks, travel south to route 66, see some of the weird and go to see the giant sequoia trees then head North to get on the Alcan to head to my new home, away from people😂

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  474. I told my wife I wanted to visit Uranus. She said there wasn’t enough money in the world. I don’t think even Blue Lizard could fund that trip. (Sorry, at 48 my juvenile humor still kicks in from time to time.)

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  475. I so badly want to go to Dollywood!!

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  476. 477
    Holli Loveless

    For my Mom’s “last” family vacation, she wants us to DRIVE to Ohio to see a made- to -scale Noah’s Ark, which opens coincidentally the same week as the Republican Convention (also in Ohio). Knowing God has a sense of humor… (you fill in the rest). BTW, if I was Noah I would definitely take two raccoons (for selfies), but would definitely shut the door on the Opossum bastards!

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  477. Totally want to see the Grand Canyon.

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  478. I would like to go to the Kentucky Horse Park to see the burial site of Man O War. He was actually buried in a horse size casket on the grounds of the park & it’s marked with a bronze statue of him. My horse has Man O War in his bloodline 3 times, so I’d like to see where his granddaddy is laid to rest!

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  479. My friend and i are taking a road trip this summer from TN to TX and I have already scanned the comments for must have stops along the way. With two girls from the northeast we are definitely going to need some SPFage.

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  480. I’d love❤ to do the complete ring tour of Iceland during summer when it’s light out 24 hours/day. 😀

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  481. I never say no to entering a giveaway, so here I am. Entered. Plus, I love road trips. Win win.

    Like

  482. I have seen The Thing! We used to live in El Paso, so drove by on several road trips. I was as disappointed as Victor. I would love to go see the Grand Canyon, on the way to the Pacific Northwest. That’s the area of the country we haven’t explored yet.

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  483. I want to travel US Highway 31 All the way north and all the way south.

    I also want to travel US 50 from coast-to-coast .

    We live within a half hour drive of the crossroads of US 50 and US 31 In Indiana and I would love to show my kids (Ages 3, 6, and 8) where those highways go that they travel just small portions of pretty frequently . Oh the things we will see , The places we will go !

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  484. I’d like to go to the Wax Museum in London.

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  485. I love weird road trips! Have you seen the mummies in Philippi West Virginia? And Noah’s Ark? One that’s on my current list is Benson’s Park in New Hampshire – it used to be a zoo and is now a park where you can hang out in the animal cages AND there’s a huge model of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe’s shoe! (http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bensons-park) [Also, being outside, definitely need the sunblock]

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  486. There are so many places I wanna visit, and so little time/money to make it so! I love all the recommendations of stuff to do in Arizona cos I have a friend there I want to visit and need stuff to do while I’m there. Also wanna visit New Orleans for all the music and culture and Florida to see Harry Potter World. And very far off in the future I want to travel all over Europe and see all the things that there are to see (and not just the usual tourist stuff). Oh, and I wanna go on a cruise cos BOATS. Basically I need to get a job that lets me travel cos there’s so much to see and not enough me to go around the world to see it.

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  487. I’ve always wanted to see the grand canyon in person. We went on a road trip when I was a kid of about eight years old. We were supposed to stop and see it then, but traffic and a side-of-the-road car breakdown meant that we passed it in the middle of the night. My parents woke us kids up, had us look out at the darkness as they said, “this is the grand canyon, we didn’t want you to miss it” HUH! That does not count. I did NOT see ANYTHING but total darkness. pout Anyway now that I’m nearly 43, I think it’s about time I make up for that fiasco and see it for real. LOL

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  488. We took the family to Jerome this past November and loved it!
    I’d like to go to England. Yeah the Queen, Big Ben, yadda yadda. But they also have Alnwick Poison Garden. Every single plant is poisonous with a big skull and crossbones on the gate. I have to assume that there are no bugs, because poisoned, so we can sun ourselves all day amongst the deadly leaves and never even have to swat. Win/win.

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  489. What a fabulous trip!!!! You totally cracked me up, Jenny. Glad you guys had such a blast!

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  490. Weird? Weird is entirely based on perspective – if you’re a zombie, going to Steak and Shake would be weird, but going to a zombie apocalypse would be normal. So seeing a big ass nut might be weird and then it might not.
    My road trip – I want to go see the Nutty Narrows Squirrel Bridges in Longview, WA. These people think enough about their squirrels to build bridges for them, not one, not two, but three bridges dedicated to moving squirrels above their, apparently, squirrel un-friendly streets below. And besides that, they have a squirrel festival in August. No shit. That’s exactly what I thought. A festival for squirrels (and no, they won’t have squirrel stew) complete with a performance by Edgar Winter. What better way to celebrate the squirrel in your life than with Edgar Winter and giant squirrels.
    I want to know what makes these squirrels so important that they get to have their own festival, plus some pretty cool bridges, so I’ve got to go see this!! Plus sunscreen! I’ll need lots and lots of sunscreen while I search the squirrel overpasses for these much revered, furry tailed mammals.

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  491. Because there’s always a musical reference: “The Thing ahead sixty miles, do not miss! Not for the squeamish or depressed, not for the unbelievers, truly obsessed. Something you just don’t wanna miss.”

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  492. I’d like to see the catacombs under Paris. It’s where they buried the dead when the cemetaries got full!

    Thanks for your trip highlights. I love seeing where other people travel!

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  493. I want to visit the lava fields in Nicaragua!

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  494. 495
    Elizabeth

    If you’re tired of Phallic Rock then head on over to Vag Gorge! What a wonderful world!

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  495. I am not a beach person at all, but I have suddenly developed a deep and abiding yearning to visit Key West. Maybe it’s the ex-English teacher in me identifying with Ernest Hemingway. Or a need for real Key Lime Pie. Could be that.

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  496. 497
    Terry Mihok

    I want to travel back see my childhood again, before my dad died of skin cancer in the early 70s. That would be an awesome road trip, to get to know him a little more. But … going to Florida with my daughter in June, to visit some colleges. We are camping in a VW bus we rented. I want to stop by the place my mom and dad bought the little sailboat they sailed on for three years in the 50s, before they returned to California to have us kids. Wish they had had better sunscreen back then. You bet I slather it on my daughter now.

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  497. I’d love to go to Chicago and see where my grandma grew up.

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  498. Can my road trip include a ferry ride? I’m an American living in England and I’d love to go to Ireland to see a goat crowned as king (http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/king-puck) because, really, who would be more sensible as a leader than a goat?

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  499. I want to roadtrip to Talkeetna, Alaska to visit their mayor, Mr. Stubbs, who is a cat!!!

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  500. I’ve love to see the Northern lights. Iceland!

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  501. So many awesome trip suggestions! I would love to see all the cool, weird, kitchy stuff, but I don’t think I can convince my husband to go along with that. However, I COULD talk him into going to Frankenmuth, Michigan. His parents went there several times and I know I could talk him into it.

    Why Frankenmuth? World’s biggest Christmas store. Yep – Christmas in July.

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  502. 503
    Elizabeth

    I have always wanted to take my dogs to the celebration of pit bulls they have in Austin every year. http://love-a-bull.org/news-events/npad/

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  503. I want to do a road trip to Glacier NP USA and Glacier Canada with my siblings. I think we’ve passed the point where I want to toss them into glacier-cold waters, but you never know what will happen with us.

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  504. I was BORN in Arizona yet I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon. I would love to see that. There are actually a lot of things in this country I would love to see. I like your version of a road trip better than Victor’s, just for the record.

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  505. I want to go see the Georgia Guidestones and track down the bastards who wrote that sh*t and ask them “What the f**k?”. Then take a trip to the Champion 4 toilet manufacturer, so I can flush 16 golf balls down that bad-ass toilet, because hubby won’t let me flush them down our toilet. He’s a party pooper.

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  506. I can’t believe you bypassed limp penis rock. That’s just so… deflating.

    I would dearly love to go to Las Vegas and see the Neon Boneyard museum of old, cool neon signs.

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  507. You know how to live, Jenny Lawson…

    Like

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  508. 509
    Kristine Goggan

    I’d like to check out a Peonies farm! These flowers make my heart happy and one could NEVER have enough! There’s one in Maryville, MO – keep the hubs and kids there as long as they can stand it then head to Nashville…no way that’s not pretty cool!

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  509. I bet the Thing was the foot of the giant whose hands they cut off.

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  510. 511
    Manuel McLure

    I’ve always wanted to visit the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space museum

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  511. 512
    Sammy-Joe

    I went to the Grand Canyon for the first time ever recently, but I didn’t have to pee. Now I kinda wish I had, I would have live to see (and photograph) that sign!

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  512. I would love to see the Grand Canyon, or any of the parks in Utah (Zion, Bryce Canyon, etc.). It’s difficult road tripping with my husband though, as he never wants to stop and noodle around in little towns and just vroooms past all the cool stuff. I would have manhandled him to insist that we visit Penis Rock and the Nut, though. No vrooming allowed.

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  513. I love road trips and the random things you see! Like ghost towns you didn’t know existed or the biggest ball of yarn. Mostly I just love to see the changing scenery while listening to good music!

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  514. I’d like to take a road trip down the Oregon coast. But I want to fly there because I hate driving and I’m not the best at riding shotgun either because I always am afraid I’ll have to go to the bathroom and there won’t be one when I need it. And no, I wasn’t going to drink out of the toilet.

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  515. I want to visit the Grand Canyon too!

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  516. 517
    Cathryn Varga

    This is the kind of road trip that Neil Gaiman would definitely approve of. Good job!!

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  517. I so would have gone to the flaccid penis, just because. I’d love to see the Grand Canyon, have never been out west. I take unscheduled road trips all the time because I have the worst sense of direction ever in history and the GPS seems like cheating…

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  518. First of all, Blue Lizard…yes. I love their product, it’s all we use at our house! Second of all, we want to go to Yellow Stone! My husband likes to camp and I want to see a bear…though preferably from the car on the way out and not while sitting at the campsite!

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  519. I can tell you for certain that Arizona does not have the corner on the best/big holes market. On a road trip I was on I discovered a giant, fantastic hole in England called The Hole of Holcrum. It wasn’t even sign-posted or anything. I just stumbled across it, then realized it was on the map, just no signs. Go see it, it’s fantastic. When I was there I was with an asshole, and that made it less than awesome. So I would like to go back to that hole with my husband to complete the awesomeness of it. I will need sunscreen.

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  520. I googled to see what The Thing is. I’m so lame.

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  521. Oh, man! I want to take my little nugget to Yellowstone Park next summer. Can’t wait to go! And we’ll pass creepy Lincon’s Head memorial in Wyoming on the way.

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  522. Road trips are the best! About 4 years ago my best friend and I decided we wanted to take a trip just the two of us in her car. It was a fantastic time and we even got to spend one night in Yellowstone. On the way home through Colorado however, we pulled over at some point and realized our front tire was SHREDDED to the point that the wires inside were sticking through to the outside! Luckily, this stop was at the bottom of the MASSIVE mountain we just came over. We canceled our hotel room for the night and had to find the closest campsite to stay in and make phone calls in the morning since it was getting dark and about to rain. We had to find a replacement tire (which for a 5 door Mazda in Colorado is apparently impossible because all they drive are trucks with much larger tires.) which stressed us out and I almost had a panic attack because we still ended up having to drive 30 miles to get to the place that had the tire. After all of that we decided we couldn’t handle anymore and drove 13+ hours straight to get home.

    I’d LOVE the opportunity to drive back east, where I have never been, driving across the northern part of the Country as I live in Washington. Or to the chance to go back to Colorado and finish those last few days of my ill fated trip. There are also so many places in my new adopted state I would love to see too though. I’d love to take a trip further north to the San Juans and get to see Orcas in the wild!

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  523. 524
    Jessica HZ

    There are two natural wonders that I am desperate to see. Volcanoes and the Northern LIghts. Both are available in Iceland. I have a plan to save up and go to Iceland and spend 10 days driving around the perimeter and following roads inland when the mood strikes. All the pictures I’ve seen make it seem like one of the most weird and wonderful places on earth.

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  524. 525
    plainsarajane

    CERN/The LHC in Switzerland/France… Not really a road trip but I’m pretty sure they’re hiding a Stargate down there. But seriously it’s where they created the Internet, is the largest man made structure in human history and will most likely discover the God particle… And I heard the food court is good.

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  525. we’re headed to moosejaw to see the al capone smuggling tunnels. also i’d love to go to that cheese festival somewhere in europe where they roll giant wheels of cheese down a hill. it’s a waste of cheese but it would be fun.

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  526. 527
    Allison M

    As a psychologist, I’d love to take a road trip to see Phineas Gage’s skull (and the tamping iron that went through it) at the Warren Anatomical Museum. As that is on the other side of the country from me, I’m sure I could find other famous skulls or psychology historical sites to check out on the way. I also would love to hit the Museum of Neuroanatomy in Buffalo. Road trip for brains & skulls!

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  527. Although my family did lots of road trips when I was a kid, and there are a ton of places I’d still like to see, I think I’d have to say I really want to do a road trip to Flamingo, Florida. Since I’m already in Florida, it wouldn’t be too far in a car (this state is huge!). And I LOVE flamingos – they are pink, and awkward (like me), and yet graceful when they fly – so I have to go someplace named after them (even if there aren’t any there). It is at the southern tip of the state, through the Everglades (and I love natural Florida). I hear the views are simply beautiful, although I also hear there are so many mosquitoes and they are so big that you could get carried off by them and never be seen again. So, I guess I’d have to spend half of the $500 on mosquito repellent. Or a bazooka. (“You looking at me, mosquito?) Or maybe a suit of armor.

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  528. I hope Alaska is considered the US!! (sometimes people insist it’s not… so unfair) I TOTES want to go whitewater rafting up in McCarthy, Alaska. It’s a tiny ass town that you can’t drive to. You’ve got to drive to a bridge and then walk the rest of the way. Dogs roam free and the whole town stops in the evenings to play softball together while drinking.
    awesome sauce

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  529. I’ve wanted to go tour Carlsbad Caverns ever since I first learned about them in 4th grade. (I’m 39 now, you do the math.) My parents waited until I was in college and then went without me. While they did bring me back a cheesy plastic torch lamp with an orange bulb and a fan that blows strips of gauzy fabric upwards to look like flames, I was still kind of pissed that I didn’t get to go too. So, yeah. That’s probably the road trip I’d take. With a detour to Roswell. Because I’m not saying it’s aliens… but it’s probably aliens.

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  530. 531
    Anonymous

    Jenny, I’d use that gift card for a trip to Philadelphia. Why Philly? Well, besides finding the basketball court that the opening credits of Fresh Prince of Bel-Airwas filmed on, I’d like to take my kids to the Sesame Street place there and see the liberty bell. Because ‘merica.

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  531. Non-funny comment. I really want to take my family to Yellowstone. 15 years ago this summer, my wife and I (who hadn’t even been married for 2 years) were to take a motorcycle trip from our home in Virginia with my parents (from TX). We were to meet up in St. Louis, ride to South Dakota and see Mt. Rushmore on the 4th of July and then head to Yellowstone (among other stops). Unfortunately, my father passed away the Sunday before we were supposed to leave on the trip. My wife and I have never made it there. Now, two kids later, we have been doing our best to show our kids as many great sights as we can. I’ve been avoiding Yellowstone, but I think it’s time to add it back to the list.

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  532. The Best Friends Animal Sanctuary has been on my list for over twenty years. I want to spend a week walking cats and petting cats and having sleepovers and kitten-sitting in the nursery. I want to visit Angel’s Rest to say hi to the beloved souls who have passed on. Cat World, Dog Town, Horse Haven, Parrot Garden, Bunny House – they even have a Piggy Paradise. I am sure the Grand Canyon is awesome but my first choice is Angel Canyon! No lizards though, so I will need to bring my own!

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  533. 534
    Kathy Henry

    I would like to go on a sewer tour of Paris, France. It was something my dad took many years ago.

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  534. I’ve always wanted to visit the La Brea tar pits, because who WOULDN’T want to see a bunch of ancient dead animals that made terrible TERRIBLE life choices? Plus, Bugs Bunny tried to go there but ended up in Scotland instead. Don’t get me wrong, Scotland would be nice to visit too, but I hear they only get 0.4 days of sun a year. Plus, going to a place that Bugs Bunny never could find, I feel would be a self-esteem booster. Additionally, knowing you would never fall for the ol’ struggling tasty looking mammoth in the tar pit of death thing, I feel is also good for one’s self-esteem. And that’s why everyone should visit the La Brea tar pits.

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  535. While I could never attempt to recreate the odd glory that is your road trip, there’s a real working(growing?) tea plantation in the USA. It’s in Charleston, which is apparently a famous and historic city. But tea! Hundreds of kind of tea. Right in the USA. Oh and there’s a giant tea drinking frog sitting on the porch available for photos.

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  536. World’s largest ball of twine!! Or really, anything that was along the way in the various National Lampoon road trip movies…Cousin Eddy!!!😀

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  537. It’s not actually very far from my house, but US-12 in Michigan used to be a main road for people traveling between Detroit and Chicago, and there are so many kitschy tourist traps that I would love to go to – The Mystery Spot, The Old West Town, the Prehistoric Park (which I know isn’t open anymore but I still want to stop and take a picture of the crazy looking long neck they have out front), etc. It would be the perfect weekend trip!

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  538. I want to go to Australia and fight a kangaroo. With my current stress level, I’d probably win.

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  539. 540
    Donna Blitzen

    I want to road trip North Dakota’s Enchanted Highway!

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  540. #restingtrumpface Classic!

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  541. I really want to go back to Big Bend National Park again.

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  542. Funny enough, I actually want to go to the Grand Canyon! I’ve never been out west (I live in Indiana), except for Denver and Vegas, and I’ve always wanted to go!!

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  543. I want to go on a road trip around New England. Mostly, I want to go to the beach.

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  544. 545
    Rachel S.

    My mouth gets me in trouble. Like, a lot. I went through a recent break up because apparently I say the wrong things at the wrong times, as I am forever awkward and possibly in need of a censor. Therefore, I would go see and kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland in order to achieve a hopefully non-idiotic gift of gab.

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  545. 546
    Sarah Bowlden

    The Portland area. My husband is desperate to find a Bigfoot, and that’s supposed to be prime territory.

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  546. I really want to go visit my brother in Brooklyn before his neighborhood is ruined by hipsters. Food and Wine just referred to where he lives as ‘an emerging neighborhood’ so time is running out. I’m sure he will take me to see the weirdest things in NYC, or at least to eat some weird things.

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  547. I would love to take a road trip that involved traveling to various locations to ride the top ten tallest roller coasters in the U.S. This would, of course, involve renting an RV and dragging my family, who are either too small (kiddos) or too scared for roller coasters (looking at you, husband). They can go on the other rides, while I wait in hours-long lines for rides that typically last for less then two-minutes. Why would I want to do this, you may ask? Because riding on a roller coaster envokes every primal survival instinct and crystallizes one’s senses making the moment feel like LIFE!

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  548. It’s not so much where I’d like to go but when I was married, I wanted to go see the Grand Canyon and my now ex said “No, it’s just a big hole in the ground” so I started looking for other attractions in the area and found the meteor impact site (literally just a big hole in the ground) and so he agreed to go to see the Grand Canyon if we could go see the meteor hole. I just shook my head.

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  549. 550
    Elena Marie

    I really want to go down to Santa Fe for La Fiesta Dr Santa Fe. Its the celebration of the reconquest of Santa Fe by the Spaniards so lots of food and celebration. Oh and it kicks off with the burning of a giant puppet named Zozobra (or old man gloom)

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  550. I want to see Stonehenge but my passport is expired. My 2nd choice is to go visit some ghost towns/”haunted” hotels since, as a,medium, my experience would be really creepy-awesome!!

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  551. I want to take the fam to see a nutria and gator farm in Southeastern Louisiana where I grew up. These Texas kids will never understand the glory of a nutria until they see it’s orange teeth in person. I’d also like to take them to the Lost Maples because they have no concept of what fall really is.

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  552. I would like to get my picture taken at the sign for Big Bone Lick State Park, which is, not coincidentally, relatively near Beaver Lick State Park, I believe. I would like to take a road trip there.

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  553. 554
    Jessica K

    Wow…. You almost made me miss living in Arizona…. I’m glad you made it to Jerome, definitely seems like your type of town…

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  554. I want to go to the upper left corner of the USA somewhere, because I’ve never been. Plus I hear they make some good wine aroundabouts there. Plus plus I want to see if it’s their weather the east coast has snagged (omg, the gray and the rain and the gray and the rain and and and). Maybe they have our east coast weather and I can bring it back.

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  555. Oooh, thanks for the sunscreen recommendation! We’re almost out of the sunscreen we got when in New Zealand and I no longer have a connection there to get more! We’re really, really white white people who live in Southern California, so good sunscreen is essential.

    So many places I’d love to go, including back to New Zealand to see the South Island since we only had time to do the North Island, but that’s way too long of a trip to do with a three year old. So, staying domestic, I’d really love to go back to Joshua Tree National Park. We managed an afternoon there on one trip, and it just wasn’t enough time to do it justice.

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  556. I want to go to the Mall of America, and hit all the fun stuff along the way, like the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD. That place is awesome and silly. Mostly silly.

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  557. 558
    marianne

    I would like to go see those pretty holes!

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  558. 559
    Cassie Hale

    I love baseball and visiting minor league ballparks. There’s a team in Akron, Ohio named the Akron Rubber Ducks who i would love to go watch because who knew rubber ducks could play baseball!? It’d be an awesome road trip from Missouri and I would definitely buy a jersey and hat.🙂

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  559. Sounds like a fun family trip! My parents used to take us to the Rattlesnake Roundup every year so you aren’t the only ones to go weird..lol. I would like to go to the Gathering of Nations Powwow in Albuquerque, NM. Would definitely need sunscreen and could take in the sights along the way as well…

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  560. Road trips are wonderful, we have routinely driven all over the country because the military moved us. I would love to do the Highway 1driving tour of California. If you go to the visit California web page they have this great 7 day driving tour next to the coastline. It looks divine. It is a state that we have never lived close to, but I was born there and moved when I was a wee gal of 2. I will have to try Blue Lizard with all the sunshine. I would have to go to the Redwood forest and add a couple of days… and I have always wanted to go to Yosemite… so many places to see… so little money. We did the AZ road trip but we missed the pistachio and antelope canyon. We did stop and put our feet on four corners of four states. Fun times and memories.

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  561. I want to take a road trip to Marpha, TXamd from there in to New Mexico. Also, since I just read about the Stonehenge replica I want to go to there, too.

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  562. Every time we drive to Cleveland there are billboards for miles advertising GRAMPA’S CHEESE BARN. Nobody will ever let us stop. I would like to win and take my own damn self to Grampa’s cheese barn.

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  563. I, myself, would love to go see the giant artichoke in Castroville, California.
    Many years ago, my best friend was on a business trip unbeknownst to me, in California.
    She called me and told me that she was in the artichoke capital of the world.
    I replied, “You’re in CASTROVILLE?!?!?”
    She said, “You know this place???”
    I made her bring me back a t-shirt and a “Ya gotta have heart” magnet.
    I still have them to this day.

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  564. 565
    Samantha R

    Penguins. I want to see all of the penguins everywhere. I’m most recently fascinated by the new Polk Penguin conservation center at the Detroit Zoo.

    Liked by 1 person

  565. I have a 7 y.o son named Wonder (not hippies, but there is long, semi-interesting story of how we landed on that name). I grew up poor and summer vacays were tents in the backyard or weekend at a nearby lake kind of thing. Never saw much of the US–had never been outside California until my 20s. I dream of doing a summer family RV ‘road trip’ type adventure targeting locations or weird roadside sights that have ‘Wonder’ in the name. I guess that might include The Thing since the banner states ‘It’s A Wonder!’… Would have to include phallic rock because, you know 7yo boy. To date, his favorite vacation memory is gleefully, “The Penis Tree!!!” (among the Giant Redwoods in Northern California). Boys are weird.

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  566. Hmmmmm. I have done Savannah ghost tours and I HIGHLY recommend them, but I would love to visit somewhere haunted that I have never been before! New Orleans, St. Augustine, FL, or that hotel from The Shining would be amazing! OH! Or a place on the ocean where you can actually see through the water to the sand beneath. Yep. Any of those. thumbs up, 7up!

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  567. I want to take that road trip which takes you through all of the lower 48 states. My husband is a NASCAR aficionado however, so I worry it will be a lot like Cannonball Run. But with cranky kids in the back.

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  568. There’s a mini Stonehenge here at utpb. It’s not impressive, mainly because jack rabbits come bursting out of nowhere and scare the crap out of you, because you’re certain it’s a snake. And walmart is across the street.

    I want to see Yellowstone. And go to roswell new mexico and see if I can spot an alien.

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  569. I really want to take my kiddo to Niagara Falls and about a million other places, but first on our list is the falls. I’ve never been there either so it will be a first for both of us, although probably a bad idea since I have both mild claustrophobia and vertigo and it seems like both might come into play there.

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  570. I have a little problem when I read of using words not on the page. I couldn’t figure out why someone was torturing tortises for instance.

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  571. I want to go somewhere close that I can do in a day because I have no one to watch my furbabies… I would like to go to George RR Martin’s theatre in Santa fe. It’s something I wasn’t to do but won’t without extra money because we are a one income house. I’d also walk around Santa fe, so the sunscreen will definitely come in handy. I could also by my mum and dad and grandmas some nice gifts while in Santa fe.🙂

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  572. 573
    Cindy C.

    I want to see Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. It has a cool, creepy, history & it’s where the aliens wanted the people to go in Close Encounters of the Third Kind (my hubby really enjoys movies in space/with aliens/blobs coming to eat you).

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  573. I want to visit Area 51, I’m really into aliens, and everyone that works there is one. 😊

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  574. I want to see Mexico…specifically Tijuana (thank you spell check…I totally butchered that!) and drink the tequila in a bar & a big sombrero because I can.

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  575. I live in Minnesota, and we have a Spam museum that I have yet to visit. So I would like to road trip there, because it’s totally doable and would produce lots of shennanigans, I’m sure.

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  576. I’d love to see the Four Corners and place all the family members in different states!

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  577. I would like to drive the PCH and hit up all the haunted houses and ghost towns and Alcatraz at night and do ghost hunting tours.

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  578. 579
    Beckie P.

    So I am thinking trips to see old tombstones all over! Of course, I would have to tell my hubby it was a food trip to try mom and pop burger joints!

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  579. When Hubby and I plan a road trip, we always bank some time to stop and check out something totally unexpected. We always say, “After all, we still haven’t found the world’s biggest ball of twine, right?” During a recent road trip, guess what we found? The world’s biggest ball of twine. Seriously. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/23134. Our road trip days are over and we will slowly slip into a life of quiet decay.

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  580. I’ve just added penis rock to my must-see list, so thanks for that. My friend Patti and I have been taking road trips lately because we’re trying to escape our children and sample ALL the BBQ in Texas. I would love to get serious and take this meat-fest across the country to compare and contrast regional styles.

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  581. 582
    Kristina

    Huh. Well I’ve already been on a road trip which involved me hitting a bird, a swarm of bees, and seeing a sign that said “DETENTION CENTER: DO NOT STOP FOR HITCHHIKERS”, so it’s hard to top that. However I’d love to go to Yellowstone and see the geyers and some buffalo and maybe a bear, but from inside the car.

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  582. 583
    Beth Schroeder

    Our family is planning a road trip to the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon. And hopefully some other weird stuff along the way!

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  583. Although I have never seen the Grand Canyon, I just saw that a Roman barracks has been discovered where Italy was trying to build a new metro – and I totally want to go see that now!

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  584. Holy shit, I need to know what The Thing is. Now.

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  585. 586
    Tobiann Reinhard

    Several years ago the BF and I took a great vacation in Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah…went to several of the National Parks (including Canyonlands and Arches) but I definitely wanna do Zion, Yellowstone, and a few others that we had to eschew. $500 would go along way towards making that happen!!

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  586. I just wanna take my baby and my husband to see my Mom in the mystical land of Texas. But I guess that’s not very interesting/exciting!

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  587. I want to see The Worlds Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota, you know the one Chevy Chase and his family went to see in the Vacation movie..yeah, I like weird things too…your whole trip sounds awesome, except you should have side tracked to Minnesota..

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  588. Phallic rock, Grand Canyon, Giant NUTS? You were on the Holes and Poles (and nuts) tour . . . I’m jealous

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  589. 590
    Samantha

    Well, going to have to stay at that haunted hotel next time I visit the folks!

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  590. 591
    julebabs

    I’ve wanted to take a trip with my mom up the Pacific Coast Highway to Monterrey and San Francisco, so she could show me all of cool places that my parents hung out back in their hippie days before I was born. I’ve always wanted to do this and now that my mom is retired, it would be perfect!

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  591. While on a trip to Idaho I ran across 3 giant chairs in different towns and I would like to set out on a quest to find other giant chairs in the west.

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  592. I want to take my husband to Texas. I lived there for a couple of years and now his best friend lives there, so it would be fun to take him down there to go birding, see Galveston, look for some scorpions, you know… 🙂

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  593. So the hubs and I once took a road trip through eastern Colorado because we had a rental car, and because… why not. On the way there were all these signs for the 7 State tower, so I decided we had to stop. It was ridiculous. A weird mini junk yard/trailer park, all held together with lead paint and broken dreams. So we get out, and admission is $1, no problem. But the old man manning the place tells us we can get in for free if we can guess what some random item is. I just wanted to pay the dollar, but he wasn’t having it. So he brings out this big bone. Looks like a femur bone or something. So that’s what I guess, I forget hubs’s guess. And the old guy is just laughing hysterically. “Nope, nope,” he says, barely able to talk he’s laughing so hard, “it’s a whale penis!” I had no response. We still had to pay our dollar, since we didn’t guess correctly (seriously, who know whale boners had actual bones, or if he was even telling the truth…), and I’m not sure we actually saw 7 states from the top of the tower, which was a whopping 1.5 stories high, but it was kind of hilarious nonetheless. I love those random roadside attractions.🙂

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  594. Norway. Gothic couches in Norway so I can really feel the black metal instead of just listening to it, and if course, Troll hunting in Norway.

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  595. 596
    Missy quoi, aka Stef

    I’m importing my fiance from Scotland this week. While he has been to the US in the past he has not gone into any of the awesomely creepy caves or that place out in California where there is a mysterious vortex or the Winchester ghost house. These are what I’d like to do for a honeymoon. You’ve also inspired me, biggest pistachio is now on my list. Who cares about Vegas…big nuts all the way.

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  596. I’d like to re-create your trip. I haven’t been to the southwest. I’d love to see the Grand Canyon and of course find out what “The Thing” is🙂

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  597. 598
    HappyHippie

    I want to go to Carhenge! I don’t know why, but it just seems so goofy. I want to force my kids to endure a ridiculously long drive to see something that is absolutely not worth the trip. Because it’s all about the journey, right?

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  598. 599
    Niki DiSilvio

    I’d like to go to Ohio to see the world’s largest basket and then head off to Grandpa’s Cheese Barn. My bestie moved there and I feel like I need to put these things on my bucket list after hearing about her visits there.

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  599. I would LOVE to go back to the grand canyon. Or LA to see my best friend. Or anywhere, really.

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  600. I want to go the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Because who doesn’t want to see a whole museum full of dicks?! And I’ll need the sunscreen because of the sun reflecting off the ice and snow when I leave the museum. It doesn’t get more awesome than that!

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  601. I don’t even care where I go. I just need to get out of here. (Here being a small rural town of 2300 people in Iowa). Help!! Please! I’ve been trapped here for at least six years. The last vacation I too was stopping to let my dog pee where Joseph Smith used to give speeches to his fellow Mormons and then on to a cave in a town with the same name as my town. It was actually pretty cool. Didn’t even mind the bat.

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  602. IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED by the thought of a 50 year old woman still having hormones- Don’t READ THIS:

    I already have a trip planned to Colorado this summer, to see Jackson Browne at Red Rocks.
    I am not easily star struck, but I have had a mad crush on Jackson Browne since I was 16..and I am going to be 50 this summer, that is a LONG time to have had a crush on someone and done nothing about it RIGHT?

    SOOOOOO

    ..I was hoping I could use the $500.00 gift card to invite him to accompany me ANYWHERE after the concert ( Or Bribe him…if you want to be technical).

    Then when we get ” wherever it is we are going”… I could tell him I have ” protection.”
    – He doesn’t need to know it’s sunscreen. ( Stop judging, it won’t be the first time a Rock star was lied to)

    There you have it,

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  603. I would like to take a road trip from Ottawa to Florida and stop do stops in all the states I have to drive through. The best stop would be the elephant sanctuary in Williston Florida to see all the retired Ringling Brothers elephants.

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  604. I want to drive from Ohio to the Grand Canyon. Part of the trip will be on the old Route 66 where we will hunt down every single goofy roadside attraction we can. Did you know that somewhere (Indiana, Illinois?) there is a mechanical dragon that will breathe fire if you put in a token that you buy at the gift shop across the street? My god, I want to go there so bad.

    Also, Tombstone!! You saw it and I can’t wait to do that!! You know why? Because here lies Les Moore. 4 shots from a .44. No Les, No Moore. That is AMAZING.

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  605. My husband REALLY REALLY wants to see the space needle and eat dinner. I’ve told him i heard the food wasn’t that good. He REALLY doesn’t care. And he wants to see fish being thrown. We are in northern CA, so a drive up the coast, through redwood trees, through Oregon, pass by the Goonies house, stop at Powells and off to Seattle sounds lovely.

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  606. As a new resident of Massachusetts, I would like to go on a driving tour of New England in search of the best fried clams (strips, no bellies; SORRY, NEW ENGLAND BUT THEY ARE GROSS!) and the best soft-serve ice cream cone (with crunch coat). I need underwriting! Because apparently New England is the happy land of fried clams and ice cream. I thank you.

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  607. Road trip! Um, I really want to go to Cadillac Ranch, but that might be in Texas, and I got scarred for life seeing the statue of George Bush Sr. with his jacket over his shoulder like a model at the Houston Airport, so I don’t know. Maybe a trip to see the World’s Largest Things, which are always good. Though I think the rubber band ball might be plotting world domination. Road trips are hard, man.

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  608. I want to go toward the light. A ghost light.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paulding_Light

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  609. 611
    Ana Jones

    I would love to take my boys on a roadtrip to the Winchester Mystery house. It was built by a rich lady who kinda went nuts and thought ghosts of people killed by Winchester guns killed her family for revenge! She thought if she kept building the house with stairs to nowhere and doors that led to drops into sinks, she wouldn’t die! The boys think it’s haunted, and I would love the chance to scare the crap out of them because it’s our goddamn right to keep kids on their toes! We earned it as moms, AMIRITE?! Spoiler alert: The crazy lady kept adding onto her house, but she died anyway. DON’T TRUST A PSYCHIC, Y’ALL!

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  610. Any road trip that leads me to the ocean is one I want to go on (and I could use Blue Lizard sunscreen…bonus!) But the best (weird) billboard on our last road trip was for URANUS Fudge Factory in Missouri!! “The best fudge comes from Uranus!”

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  611. Now I need to go to Antelope Canyon, but also Rooster Coburn’s Ostrich Farm and the Grand Canyon and the Grand Hotel in Jerome, AZ. I just need to tour the SW and the NW and northern mid-west and New England. I really need to get out more.

    Like

  612. My “Irish twins” are graduating middle school, which means we only have FOUR MORE SUMMERS to ruin for them. Since they were both born in California but don’t remember much since we moved to Florida when they were 3 and 4, I’d like to take a driving trip from San Diego up to Mendocino. Sunscreen will come in handy. High on the list? Madonna Inn and Solvang, both bizarre in their own ways.

    Like

  613. I really want to go to the Wisconsin State Fair and consume nothing but cheese.

    Like

  614. LOL hard day, turned much better after reading this. I’d like to go visit YOU! Spend a day in Jenny’s shoes. Or just hang out under your desk.

    Like

  615. I’d like to see all of South America. Just have a weird passion for it and want to go to every country there. Would need lots of sunscreen for that!!

    Like

  616. 618
    HeatherV

    My crazy kid is a huge history nut and wants to go to Washington DC and I really hope to take him there to make all his dreams come true.🙂

    Like

  617. That sounds awesome. I would love to take my 11 year old on a road trip while she still wants to be around me. We have been talking about going to the Grand Canyon.

    Like

  618. Also, I live in Tucson, AZ and was wishing so badly you’d come here on your road trip.

    Like

  619. Loved the account of your road trip. I’d like to take a road trip but my husband’s driving drives me crazy and I have a 6 year old who hates long drives. So maybe the flying kind of road trip😉

    Like

  620. I’d love to take my kids to west Tx to a star party at the McDonald observatory. I think we all need some time in the big middle-of-nowhere to appreciate how we all fit into this crazy, crowded world.

    Like

  621. Funnily enough, I just read about a great-looking roadtrip through the panhandle of FL and my hubby and I are always ready for a roadtrip!!🙂

    Like

  622. I really want to take a road trip to the closed Wizard of Oz theme park that they are reopening for a few days this summer. On the way I could stop at Goats on the Roof and there is a retired Disney Imagineer that built a bunch of fairy houses in the woods. Oh, and maybe the new Babyland General because it is delightfully bizarre.

    Like

  623. I want to road trip anywhere!!!! I’d love to go to the east coast or pacific northwest. I loooooove traveling, and just don’t get to do it nearly enough.

    Like

  624. 627
    Apryl's Antics

    I want to go to one of those hotels in the Poconos where they have a giant champagne glass bath tub, because I think taking a bath in a giant champagne glass would be fun and possibly scary to anyone who watches me. You know, because of the magnification.

    Like

  625. 628
    Jen Ruth

    If you ever get a chance to do the ghost tour at Port Arthur in Tasmania, do it — so freaky!

    I would like to get all my girlfriends and do a grown up slumber party at the Stanley Hotel, in Estes Park, Colorado — spa during the day, and then ghosts at night. I need them all to be there with me because while I like to get scared, I’m a big chicken and need them there to be scared with me. Scared it better together!

    Like

  626. Hey!
    I’d love to take my son to some rad Caves! There seems to be some good ones we could tour in Texas including the Natural Bridge Caverns.
    Thanks for the chance to win🙂

    Like

  627. 630
    Elizabeth

    I want to go to an island in the Sea of Abaco where my boys went on a scout trip and saw a house with a tiny little replica of itself in the yard for a curly tail lizard that lived there. It even had a tiny little sea plane and mailbox just like the real house. There is also apparently a restaurant there with the best fried chicken ever, so I’d like to go there too even though fried chicken usually doesn’t sit too well with me but is so totally worth it while I’m eating it.

    Like

  628. I want to go to Meow Wolf!

    http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2016/04/inside-meow-wolf-the-amusement-park-for-people-who-want-a-weirder-disneyland/

    Seriously, why couldn’t this have opened when I still lived in New Mexico?

    Like

  629. There is a giant rock in the Czech Republic known as The Devils Ass. I’d love to take a roadtrip thru Europe to see this. Also, I have family roots in Darmstadt, Germany, so I could easily roadtrip from there to the giant rock.

    Like

  630. I’d like to go on a road trip to Kentucky and see all the awesome thoroughbred stallions.

    Like

  631. I live in Michigan and a summer road trip to upper Maine / New Hampshire / Rhode Island and Nova Scocia then down along the Eastern Seaboard are on my bucket list. Prize could pay for some awesome hotels, hiking and beach time.🙂

    Like

  632. I want to take a road trip to the ocean. Or wait til winter and go skiing. Both will set my fair, freckled skin on fire without lizard sun care. Maybe I’ll stop on the way to find a lizard to thank for their invention.

    Like

  633. 636
    Anonymous

    To many places to list, but at the top would be a stay at the hotel featured in the movie Somewhere in Time!

    Like

  634. I would love to travel to a different solar system, with new life, and hope. But I’d have to have my own private bathroom. I have issues. Or an Air Stream on Earth, visiting national parks.

    Like

  635. My dream road trip would first be to leave the kids at home to fend for themselves so my husband and I could be alone again for the first time in 20 years. Then to take a Pullman Train trip in a vintage Pullman car where we could pretend to be Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in North by Northwest ( only older, fatter and not as attractive) which would culminate in our having a shootout in Abraham Lincoln left nostril. (left as you look at his face, not his left that would just be weird) after which we would bind our wounds and sneak back on the train where we could sleep all the way back home.

    Like

  636. I don’t really do road trips. Anything more than three hours in a car sends my anxiety into overdrive (pun intended) and I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND NOT GET BACK IN. However, I would like to fly somewhere and see cool stuff like Arizona’s giant canyon hole (last seen when I was far too young to remember anything but the fact that my mom forgot to pack my dad any underwear) or the Golden Gate bridge and that big twisty street they have out there, or just somewhere lovely and beachy because lovely beach places make me very happy as a resident of Ohio.

    Like

  637. So much fun! I love the zombie hands and now I really want to know what the THING is….I’d love to make a road trip to Key West because there is a national park there where you can take a tour while SNORKELING! How cool is that Jenny??? I’m also 300% sure that there are mermaids!

    Like

  638. I want to go to Hawaii. I’ve been waiting to go since I was little and dream of seeing the beach, waves and botanical gardens.

    Like

  639. 642
    Shaley Hoogendoorn

    I have think super rad idea to drive across Canada and take pics of these crazy random statues and make a coffee table book. Check out these 2 beauties. My hubby and girls would look pretty Husky the Musky in Kenora Ontario, the Giant goose in Wawa, Ontario and Mr PG in Prince George BC. It is my million dollar idea so I hope you all don’t steal it;)

    http://www.roadtripamerica.com/roadside/Ontario-Kenora-Husky-the-Muskie.htm

    http://www.wawa.cc/living-in-wawa/about-wawa/our-famous-canada-goose/

    http://princegeorge.ca/cityhall/aboutourcity/mrpg/Pages/Default.aspx

    Like

  640. I would love to go to the Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo, get a Sloth Encounter ticket and hang out one-on-one with their sloths! (There are many more things I’d like to do but that’s the first thing that popped into my head)

    Like

    Jenny recently posted TOOLBAG TUESDAY.

  641. 644
    Kelly McGuire

    I love the crazy adventures you can have without leaving Texas. Below are a few places on my “40 Before 40” list.
    1.) Maybe I’ll be drunk and crazy enough to visit Hippie Hollow (nude beach on Lake Travis)
    No skinny dipping for us, but maybe some chunky dunking.
    2.) Raft the Rio Grande screaming crazy things to the “other side”
    3.) Pedernales Falls & Hamilton Pool
    4.) Stay in a treehouse iat Cypress Canopies

    Like

  642. Kind of bummed you spoiled the “do they get murdered?” question in this plot. I thought maybe it would be a really clever throwback to actually writing about ghosts by becoming a ghost and then you would be a ghost blogger and would probably have to use some kind of dictaphone to compose your posts since you wouldn’t be able to use a keyboard unless you were somehow still corporeal. Sigh. I guess you living is pretty okay, too.

    Like

  643. 646
    Charissa

    I have a number of trips that I would love to go on. I would love to go to China and visit lots of different places (including Xian, Beijing and other cities). I would love to go to France and visit the place that is occasionally on island (Mont Saint-Michel), the cemetery at Normandy, Nice, Paris and others. I would love to go to Germany and visit both beautiful sites and historical places. I want to go to Italy. I want to go to Egypt and Israel – visiting the pyramids, the Sphinx, the Red Sea, Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I want to go on a trip in the United States and visit a bunch of amusement parks like Six Flags, Universal Studios, Disney Land and/or world, Cedar Point (OH), Schlitterbahn (TX), Knotts Berry Farm (CA), and Knoebels (PA). All of which would require copious amounts of Blue a Lizard.🙂

    Like

  644. 647
    Laurie V.

    I would love to stay in the hotel where they filmed “Somewhere in Time”! It’s on of my favorite movies!

    Like

  645. Sometimes I think we should visit Point Pleasant, WV, but then the idea of the Mothman starts freaking me out too much, so I think I’d rather start with the abandoned OZ park and the gravity hill in North Carolina. With maybe a stop at Grandfather Mountain to hike off all the pork rinds and slushees and Ding Dongs we ate from gas stations along the way.

    Like

  646. 649
    KristenM

    I would go anywhere for you (Blue Lizard); I’d run right into hell and back! Yes, I would love to take a trip anywhere to see just about anything. But if I need to narrow it down . . . that forest covered in bluebells sounds nice, as does the Garden of the Gods, someplace I can see the northern lights, and the volcanoes and forests of Hawaii.
    And to the person way above who said there would be nothing to see in Ohio: http://www.atlasobscura.com/things-to-do/ohio — we have Helltown, the lunatic asylym, the house from A Christmas Story, and Cornhenge!

    Like

  647. Both of my parents were in the Japanese internment camps during the war. I saw where my mom was interned in Wyoming. Now I want to see where my dad was interned in Arizona.

    Like

  648. I moved to Maine four years ago and have yet to see The World’s Largest Blueberry in Wild Blueberry Land in Columbia Falls. I’m comin’ for you, Big Blue! Thanks for this – we use a lot of sunscreen in Maine (it’s not just for summer! When the sun bounces off the snow and shoots cold rays into your face, you’re very glad you remembered to slather some sunscreen on.)

    Like

  649. 652
    Leslie Palmer

    Bloggess, your trip sounds like it was wacky and fun! I would love to go the New Mexico and look at their bitchen’ clouds and rocks and sky.

    Like

  650. 653
    Rhernandez

    I want to take my kids to see all of the weird, fun places in Washington DC that I visited as a kid. We can tour the Library of Congress, see the crypt in the National Cathedral (where they have Hellen Keller’s ashes), and take my daughter who likes to chew on her hair, to the Museum of Health and Medicine to see the giant hairball they removed from a little girl’s stomach.

    Like

  651. 654
    Sillymom

    I just want to put the kids in the car and drive until we run out of water and snacks. Once stopped, we’ll explore the area and create our own ‘road side stories.’ I.e. This rose bush was planted by the owner of the first Corgipoo ever bred in the lower 48. It’ll be road trip and creative writing lesson all in one.

    Like

  652. 655
    Anya Warde

    I would love to take my kids to Craters of the Moon National Park! I hear it’s like walking on the moon, only without the cool bouncing and weight loss. Also, they have something called tree molds which Wikipedia describes as “cavities left by lava-incinerated trees” which is an awesome way to phrase it.

    Like

  653. 656
    Jennifer

    My weird kiddo has really been wanting to visit the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.
    What is that? “Cryptozoology is the study of hidden or unknown animals. These are usually larger zoological species that, to date, remain unverified by science, such as Yetis, Bigfoot, Lake Monsters, and Sea Serpents, as well as hundreds of other yet-to-be-found animals (cryptids) worldwide, but which compelling ethnoknown evidence has been collected for their possible existence. It also encompasses the study of animals of recent discovery, such as the coelacanth, okapi, megamouth shark, giant panda, and mountain gorilla.”
    What 9 year old wouldn’t want to check that out?

    Like

  654. I desperately want to go to the Winchester Mystery House in San Francisco. One, because it sounds cool, and two, honestly, because I enjoy the heck out of ironic karma.

    And I burn like it is my job, so sunscreen is one of my favorite things.

    Like

  655. I asked the SAME question when I was there. Like apparently someone thought, ” huh I’m really thirsty, this toilet water is probably fine.”

    Like

  656. 659
    Cassie Sue

    I’d love to go see the Grand Canyon and have been threatening to take my family for a while, though we never seem to make it. But the my family wants to see all the haunted places they can find. So maybe I’d take them to the Winchester House since I had a paranormal experience there (and even freaked out the tour guide, so YAY?) 🙂

    My paranormal experience was when we started our tour I started getting really itchy, and then had what looked like a spider bite on my hip. The tour guide told us it was faster to go forward then to turn back. And in that house there are a lot of references to spiders. As we were nearing the end of the tour everyone was afraid I was bitten by something poisonous, and were freaking out. At the end of the tour I walked out of the house and the bite was totally gone, no longer swollen or itchy or anything. The guide said “well that’s the first and hopefully last time I EVER witness that”

    Like

  657. 660
    scarletnecklace

    I would LOVE to take a road trip to visit the worlds first geocache location in Portland Oregon. I started caching last year, and it has since become an obsession. It’s a great reason to get out of the house and visit some really interesting places. You’d be amazed at the creativity people show when hiding their caches. But caching isn’t cheap, and some gas/hotel money would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you’ve never heard of geocaching, you should look into it and get started! Here’s a little description from the original cache page: “On May 3, 2000, a five-gallon bucket was placed right at this very spot by Dave Ulmer containing a Delorme Topo USA, 2 CD Roms, a cassette recorder, a “George of the Jungle” VHS tape, a Ross Perot book, 4 $1 bills, a slingshot handle and a pretty notorious can of beans (now the O.C.B. trackable). The coordinates were then listed on the internet and modern-day geocaching was born.”

    Like

  658. Road trips sound so much more exciting in the southwest! I’m in western NY. I’ve never seen a giant pistachio or a flaccid penis rock or The Thing. My town’s big oddity is the world’s oldest mini golf course. Allegedly. There’s also a two-story outhouse about 45 min from here, but you can’t use it, so what’s the point? I’ve always wanted to visit Alaska, but if I won, I’d take a road trip around Texas, Arizona, other states out that way that offer Foamhenge and Mini Stonehenge and a huge of pair of legs.

    Like

  659. I want to visit Palm Springs, Death Valley and Joshua Tree. I would take my two Boston Terriers, Gilley and Gus, with us and would pose them in the funniest places…along with costumes. We would all slather ourselves in Blue Lizard, as I just had a chunk of skin cancer taken from my scalp. And hats…big, floppy hats.

    Like

  660. My family (husband, son and myself) would love to take a trip to see my mom in Prescott Valley, AZ for the holidays since she’s going to be all alone for the first time since my stepfather died last year. Near her there is a lady who sells “micro mini pigs” whom I’d like to hit up for a piglet visitation, since mom’s cat Paddington died (at age 18) several years ago. If I could get micro mini pig lady to just let my mom cuddle one of her adorable piglets, I know she would be overjoyed, as mom grew up on a farm in Iowa and used to dress the piglets up in baby clothes when she was a child. And since my family are all allergic to cats, we could take her a piglet, which is hypoallergenic (they have hair, not fur) and we could all enjoy playing with it. Sadly, since they cost over 2 thousand each, I wouldn’t be able to get her one to keep, plus her dick out of state landlord requires a huge deposit for a pet and a monthly fee, which she can’t afford on her tiny SS income.

    Like

  661. 664
    Anonymous

    I’d like to cheat by flying to the west cost, and then drive up the Pacific Coast Highway (salt, air, beach, sunscreen – you get it), with a few days in Seattle (primarily to see the Chihuly Garden. My husband once told me that he wanted to take a glass blowing class, and I told him “no one does that,” so this would be a great way for him to get an “I told you so” win.) and Portland (primarily for Voodoo Donuts – pics with my donut leggings required of course). I feel like everyone wins here.

    Like

  662. I would either choose to go visit my family in chicago because its been over 2 years since I’ve been able to see them… Orrrrr

    Try to visit as many iconic horror movie locations as possible. My husband has been sick for the last 2 1/2 years. He loves horror movies. To be able to brighten his week/month whatever would be awesome. https://roadtrippers.com/trips/12843705?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5

    (I hate horror movies Id much prefer to go to a comic book store or doctor who locations or the studio ghibli museum)

    Like

  663. I would love to go to Stonehenge again.. I went once when I was really little, but do you think I can remember that shit? NOPE. I would also love to visit the Haiku Stairs of Oahu, Hawaii, because it looks gorgeous, and also because you’re not allowed to go up them, so of course, I want to go up them. (Let’s be real, though.. ain’t NO WAY my fat ass is making it up all those stairs. I bet the view is still nice from the 10th step, though.) LOVE YOU!!

    Like

  664. 667
    Zombie Unicorn

    I want to take a road trip from my home in Seattle, Washington to the Mojave desert in California City, California to attend a four day, Mad Max themed post apocalyptic campout. It’s called Wasteland Weekend. Think of Burning Man without all the creepy hippies.

    Like

  665. I would like to visit World’s Largest Peach in Gaffney, South Carolina. Surprisingly, it is NOT located in Georgia, but that’s okay with me, I would rather visit South Carolina. Quick tidbit – I grew up watching the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) grow up to BE the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) as it was on the way to Grandma Daisy’s house. When Mr. Francis Johnson passed away the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) was donated to the town of Darwin and Grandma Daisy was among dozens (okay, probably a dozen) who sat in their lawn chair on the side of the road while the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) was moved to it’s current location in Downtown Darwin (pop. 243) in the Twine Ball Museum.

    Like

  666. I want to go see the butter cow at the Iowa State fair and eat fried food.
    Also I’m bookmarking this post because the comments are full of great ideas.

    Like

  667. 670
    Renee Sevor

    I want to visit a bunch of small towns on Rt 66. I will probably have to drive my Kia but I would rather drive the Wienermobile..

    Like

  668. 671
    Michelle

    Montana. So I can see a whole lot of nothing. Seriously. It’s got to be one of the states that is still not over run by Walmart’s and gas stations. I’d like to go and drive to see the untouched wilderness.
    I’m an Army brat so I’ve seen a lot of places. In fact, we lived in White Sands NM when I was a young kid. Did you go sliding down the dirt mounds? And the Grand Canyon is awesome, so glad you got to see it! I’d like to take my kids there so they could see some of the stuff I grew up seeing.

    Like

  669. I’d like to say I’d road trip and do something scenic and beautiful and culturally awesome, like drive up and down the Blue Ridge Parkway and see all the spectacular things to see, but I’d probably get attacked by a bear. The Garden of the Gods in Colorado looks pretty sweet, okay it looks really amazing, but still isn’t my top choice. Neither is a waterfall road trip visiting all the falls along the Appalachian Mountains, which is more likely what I’ll be doing this summer on my not-yet-planned road trip.
    Really though, the underground tours in a bunch of random cities like Seattle (or Cincinnati, but Seattle wounds way better and more city-ish) would be my ideal. It’s like a whole underground world covered up by another not underground world. Totally dream-trip-destination worthy.

    Like

  670. 673
    Courtney

    I actually would love to go visit Richmond. We recently stopped there on our way through from visiting my grandma, and we were there just long enough to realize all the awesome things we would have liked to stay longer and see.

    Like

  671. This is so amazing! You have inspired me for my vacation this summer!

    Like

  672. 675
    Lisa Haag

    I’ll never top your trip, but I have always wanted to do the length of PCH in California in a convertible.

    Like

  673. 676
    Cherron Landry

    What an awesome idea! I’ve lived in Arizona (Scottsdale area) for 2 years now and haven’t seen any of that stuff yet. (I did go to the Canyon but that was pre-AZ life). So. I thought, I would do that. Then I remembered my Mom. She’s in Massachusetts. She’s always wanted to take a road trip across the country. So, if I won, I would go on a road trip with her. From MA to AZ. And I’d take her to see the giant nut!

    Like

  674. 677
    Allison Studer

    I want to go see moose. No real plural there. Mooses? Moosi?

    Liked by 1 person

  675. Personally I would like to go visit Hell and see how many of my friends and family are there. But I don’t think they accept visitors. And my car isn’t running quite right and probably wouldn’t make the trip. I don’t think the subway goes there either. So I guess my backup plan is Hell, Michigan. But I KNOW none of my friends or family are there…maybe we can all meet up and have a picnic or something.

    Like

  676. Im pretty sure i need to see that vampire strip club

    Like

  677. I want to go see the most scenic urinal in the world. Not because I want to use it, mind you. I will stage a protest because the urinal has a scenic view, but the TOILET DOESN’T!!! That’s GENDER DISCRIMINATION! Or at the very least it’s urination position preference discrimination… And I will make that a thing! “WHAT DO WE WANT? SCENIC PEEING! WHEN DO WE WANT IT! NOW! (Or, you know, when we have to pee.)

    https://roadtrippers.com/us/kealakekua-hi/attractions/worlds-most-scenic-urinal?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5

    Like

  678. I’d like to go to Sedona, Arizona & see if I can get sucked into that mystical vortex thingy.
    I said…get sucked…tee, hee.

    Love ya Bloggess. You’re so F’n funny!!!
    rburgess50@hotmail.com
    (That’s right…hotmail damn it.)

    Like

  679. I would like to take a road trip to Mammoth Caves…cause it’s always cooler underground yo

    Like

  680. 683
    Haven Whitts

    My friends and I come from all around both Canada and the USA so our road trip we want to do is in September! We want to go to Toronto and the weird things we would see are each other ’cause we are some… unusual folks to say the least.

    Like

  681. Jerome was awesome was it not? Is the old brothel still there???? We stayed at that hotel but alas no ghost sightings! We would love Yosemite to be our next trip, but now I am really thinking I need to find out what the “THING” is!

    Like

  682. I most like to see the Dr. Who/Sherlock Theme Park but since it won’t be open until like 2020, I could deposit my winnings and it will hopefully have gained enough interest to fly myself and my daughter to England when it is open. Otherwise, anywhere out of Florida. Seriously, there is nothing really good here like a giant ball of twine.

    Like

  683. 686
    Kellie in Kansas

    I’d like to visit Venice Beach. I asked Google for driving directions once… and giggle every time I think about it telling me to “merge right at Albuquerque and go 847 MILES.” LOL I mean… Bugs tells us over and over to take the left turn!

    Like

  684. @Mickey (#14): I’ve been to all 50 and I’m still alive, so you’re probably okay. Also, if you have to miss one, North Dakota might be the best one to miss. No offense to the people of ND but there’s very, very little there. But if you you are going, try the Theodore Roosevelt National Park (far west side). It’s the only place I’ve ever seen a porcupine in the wild.

    Like

  685. I live in Nova Scotia, so I’m not eligible to win this fantastic prize, but I have had melanoma, so I say, “Bravo” for promoting the use of sunscreen. Thank you Jenny, and thank you Blue Lizard. And just as an FYI, I would love to see the Grand Canyon, and the giant redwoods.🙂 Good luck, everyone!

    Like

  686. 689
    Patti Gilbride

    I need to go to Key West so I can high five Ernest Hemingway’s polydactyl cats🙂

    Like

  687. One of my mom’s friends from work is trying to visit the grave of every president (who is currently dead). I’d love to be able o do something morbid like that

    Like

  688. 691
    Jenni Williams

    I live for weird and wonderful! My game plan to visit the weirdest place in the United States… Washington D.C. I mean honestly, does it get any weirder than there? To road trip there from Dallas will be an adventure. My husband will want to stop at random fruit stands and then get mad with the fruit isn’t grown locally. I will want to drive as quickly as I can to the next place we are going… I just don’t dawdle! BUT! If I found a cool penguin, I’d be down to stop and visit.
    Also, thank you for saying that the Grand Canyon is a Giant Ass Hole in the Ground. I’ve been saying that for years and honestly can’t imagine myself standing near the edge of the thing check it out… Because my husband would push me over the edge when I said, “Hey… That’s a Giant Ass Hole in the Ground.”

    Like

  689. I would probably take my family to Charleston, SC for a few days. Aside from the fact that the seafood there is amazing, there’s a ton of pirate-themed stuff, including pirate boat tours and museums and ghost walks. I’ve always wanted to go. I’d also like to be a pirate. We may even settle the great pirate-ninja debate once and for all, and go dressed as ninja-pirates. Or pirate ninjas. We’ll figure it out.

    Like

  690. Ooo! What a great giveaway! I would love to go see the Mima Mounds on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington & then on up to the haunted hotel in Port Townsend, Manresa Castle. And also the Olympic Game Farm which is like a drive-through zoo.

    Like

  691. You have the best trips!
    I want to take my family to Santa Fe to go on a hot air balloon ride!