An explanation and some jewelry

in mama drama excerpts, Random Crap, rants, this blog cures cancer

Recently I’ve had some surprisingly annoyed people ask me why I post on two blogs.  Here’s why:

Years ago some chick wrote for Mama Drama on the Houston Chronicle.  She quit because she “couldn’t blog and still be a good mother” so I wrote to Evil Dwight, the editor, and said “I’ll blog!  I’m already a terrible mother!” and was one of five women selected to co-author it.  I’m not paid for Mama Drama although I’m told that one day I may be.  I was also told that if I was pure of heart one day I’d see a unicorn.  I’m still holding out hope for one of these.

Then I started writing but I habitually got in trouble for using words that were “inappropriate”.  Typical conversation between me and Evil Dwight:

E.D. – Your post today was very clever but you can’t use the word “screw” here even though you are tremendously hot and easily the funniest person I’ve ever met.  Why don’t I have you on my blogroll yet?!  Anyway, write “screw” again and I will delete your post. 

Me (whining) – But Dwight, I can’t write without “screw”! 

E.D. – Oh, and “f**k” is not cool either.  You’re not fooling anyone by just dropping two letters.  You might as well just use the whole word.

Me – Fine, then I’ll use the whole word.  Hey, did you see the video I just put up of me and Lotta playing with a vibrator?

E.D. – I’m going to firebomb your house.

Even the MomHouston site that promotes Mama Drama hates me.  I swear to God this is an actual screenshot from the last submission I wrote for them:

rude1.jpg

MomHouston called me an ass.  Awesome.

So then I decided to start a personal blog so I could freely write the f-word and thus, The Bloggess was born.  I link a lot to stuff I write over there and vice versa and some people really hate that.  And for those people I suggest lexapro.  Some people like The Bloggess and hate Mama Drama.  Some people like Mama Drama and hate The Bloggess.  Some people like to carry baby spider-monkeys around in their pockets and those people should be stopped.   

To the critics who say that I’m just pimping Mama Drama over here so I can get paid more, you are just not even paying attention.  Start reading again from the beginning.   To the critics who say that I use Mama Drama’s popularity to pimp The Bloggess, you’re kind of right except that technically The Bloggess has a higher technorati ranking than Mama Drama so really I’m just pimping my writing at both blogs on both blogs.  Mutual pimpage.

Anyway, I realize that it makes it confusing to everyone to have to jump from place to place and that’s why I want to make it up to you with a little make-up sex.  Except I have a headache, so how about some jewelry instead?* 

hubba-bubba.jpg

Oh come on baby, don’t be that way.  See.  It’s all pretty and shiny just like you.  Who’s my special girl/guy?  That’s right.  You are.  Just leave me comment and I’ll pick a winner at random this week.

*Awesome handmade jewelry courtesy of The Automat.  You should go buy some.   But comment first.

126 thoughts on “An explanation and some jewelry”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Never mind about the jewelry. I’ll wait for your headache to go away.

    I’m waiting…

  2. See, that’s the flack I get sometimes. Although I do manage to sneak in “f**k” and my favorite “@$$” every now and then.

    I think Dwight likes me better than you. I’m just sayin’.

    You know, when they invited me to write NewlyWed (waaaay back when), everyone was like, “Hey, we’re working on getting you guys paid for this!” Now, though, it’s as if they’re saying, “Woohoo! Free content! Let’s slap lots of ads on it!” I’m just sayin’.

    Personally, I like the back-and-forth of both of your blogs because it’s a richer, deeper experience intellectually.

    BWAHAHA … no, no, I’m just kidding. It’s ‘cuz yer hot. (seriously, “deeper experience intellectually.”)

    Maybe I should start my OWN break-out blog and use words like “fuck” and “ass” for reals! But not usually in the same sentence … that would be wrong. At least without dinner first.

    Oh! And maybe then Technorati and CommntLuv would actually friggin’ WORK for me.

    Jenny, you have inspired me!

  5. Jenny, honey, I love you and have always loved you. I will read what you write wherever it is on the Internet. I was so excited when you started the Bloggess, because I was excited to get to know another side of you. I like the linking, even though I subscribe to both blogs, I like it cause I might have missed something. And who cares if you WERE linking to get people to click over. That’s the beauty of the internet: we read what we like and we the readers are in charge of our mice.

    Bunny’s last blog post..Winter Slump

  7. you really need a more liberal, less confining platform than mama drama. you are a natural & were born to write. no explanations or apologies necessary

  8. So… is there bubble gum in that ring?

    I understand about the two blogs. I have two blogs. Not because I write for some censorious newspaper but because some stuff just doesn’t fit in with the overall style of the original blog. People who come over to visit with me don’t want to hear me obsessing over my weight constantly – even real in-person people get tired of THAT! So I do my ranting on that issue somewhere else.

    Sayre’s last blog post..Writing, in general

  14. comment.

    I want the shiny. mk

    p.s. OF COURSE you should have a personal blog! And, DUH, make mention of both blogs at both blogs. The complainers need to just suck it up. (Or suck it…their choice)

    markira’s last blog post..Kira and the Snow

  15. People that complain – screw them! You are awesome and I will read your blog no matter where it is or how I have to get to it.

    Now, I just have to meet you so I can get the e-mail you once sent me (that I printed and framed) signed (is that weird?).

  17. Red – Yes. That is very weird. But also fabulous.

    Actually the people that complain have some legitimate reasons…like the fact that this site is blocked at a lot of their workplaces so they can’t get to it easily, and the fact that Mama Drama is slow to load at times because of the ads and photos. Neither site is perfect but I still love them both.

  18. oooooo … pretty! 😉

    And I personally like use of the words ass and f**k (though I prefer @ss, for some reason I just think it’s funnier) – I’d totally love ya if I were an editor, which I am not, but oh well… Someday… Or not…

    Z’s last blog post..Get Over It

  19. I read them both. This one is the only blog my husband wants to hear about…he has been smitten ever since I showed him that pic of you wearing the naughty necklace…He said “you gotta love a girl who will wear that around her neck.”

  23. I think you just have BOTH blogs so that you can push lexapro. Do you get yours free? for pushing theirs….just a thought.

  24. See, I’m new here, I didn’t know about the other blog. But then again, all I pretty much do is look at the pictures and scan for flame throwers.

    Oh and btw, no flame throwers in todays illustrations. Fail.

  25. 1. – if they don’t like it, don’t go to the link.

    2. – I’ve got something for that headache!

  26. I’ve only been reading you for a little while but I already like you because you use those “naughty” words and that makes me happy. I’m twisted that way.

  28. A site once told me that while they loved my writing I would have to ‘tone down’ the language. Which I guess means no more rampant use of ‘fuck’ or the ever popular ‘c’-word. The latter of which is one of my favorites.

    Heather B.’s last blog post..Secrets

  29. No complaining here. Unless you stop writing entirely, then there will be some trouble. 🙂

    I *love* that ring because it looks like a pink Saturn.

  30. Oh, my little sparkle fairy. My f**king little unicorn loving, multi-blogging trucker mouthed little pixie, Jenny. How I love thee. You and your pink ringed suspicious mole having, hilarity inducing, cuss word juggernaut. Ass.

    flutter’s last blog post..In search of self

  31. Ok, if this site was blocked at my workplace I would be angry too, so I take back the “screw them” comment.

  33. OK,,, here goes…this is my first comment here ever. Jenny, you know what Amy Sedaris is to you? That’s what you are to me. You don’t know it, but I have been stalking you ever since thebloggess.com was born. I read it faithfully and laugh hysterically. (By the way, you owe me a new keyboard. I spit my Lo-Card Monster Engery drink — the blue one — all over mine and now I really have to press down to use the “^” key. I really miss that key!)

    Keep pimping both blogs or I might actually have to start working.

  34. You just make me sublimely happy 😀 I love laughing OUT LOUD whenever I read a new Jenny post!

    Jeff and I are taking bids from contractors to build our Jenny Shrinking Machine so that we can fit you in our pockets. However since there’s only one of you he and I are going to have to work out a custody agreement. *sigh*

  36. I read for the daily (or not so daily) laugh. I don’t even want the ring. I just luv some CommentLuv and find it entertaining. Bloggy magic right there, @ss.

    (See, even my attempts at being funny are very lame!)

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..It’s TV Tuesday!

  38. I found you at Mama Drama, followed you over here, and will continue to follow you anywhere.

    And for those whiners – I dare them to find a blog that is not either occasionally blocked nor slow to load because of ads. And if such a blog is found, I daresay it’s not worth reading.

    Harumph.

  39. How cool! I like the new face of chron.com because they used your photo from The Bloggess on the very front page (!) instead of your photo from Mama Drama. I personally like this blog the most. I don’t dislike Mama Drama, but this one is the coolest. But that’s just me…

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Recent Interesting Finds

  40. I love you here, I love you there, I love you everywhere. I’m also sending you some Ibuprofen for that headache. The ring is cute but…

    Oh and F**k the F**kers who F**king don’t like the word F**k. They simply have no appreciation for the flexible beauty of such a word.

    *KISSES*

    SassyPants’s last blog post..Too hot to handle

  50. Your posts constantly crack me up, even though I hate you because a) your blog is funnier than mine, b) you’ve figured out how to use technorati and I haven’t, and c) you live in an area where you can actually meet other bloggers. Beeyotch. But I’ll still keep reading, even though consumed by jealousy.

    NewDuck’s last blog post..Argentina, what is wrong with you?

  51. I like both and I’m not just kissing your a$$ because you pimped me the last couple of days and sent like 500 people to my site (I kid not, dude).

    Either that or people are irrepressibly curious about photos of drunk Houston bloggers or dogs with bum tumors.

    And Lotta already pimped your ring, so what I’m saying is…if you are all pimps what does that make me? The only one for hire?

    I’M SO ON THAT!!

    FOR HIRE: Old hot blogger who is very mouthy (curse words extra).

    Julie Pippert’s last blog post..Blue Dog says, “Support the arts in education!” Hump Day Hmm for January 16, 2008

  53. I can’t believe that box called you an ass. Totally, TOTALLY uncalled for.

    On a side note, I’m using my BlogHer bag for class and I came across the Mama Drama card and I don’t think I ever read the quote before, but it CRACKED ME UP. Hooks for hands. Heh. You’re so damn clever.

    Kyla’s last blog post..Typical, right?

  54. Oh, you had me at hello. And again at ‘ass’. Although I’m not sure about the jewelry. It gives new flavor to the term ‘nipple ring’ though. A kid could mistakenly nurse that thing.

    anne nahm’s last blog post..Party Results

  55. Ok, my ring is a nipple and a sex toy? Wow, and I wasn’t even trying. I’m going to have to make a nipple ring that vibrates next. Now THAT will be a contest!

    Jenny – I wish you wrote on 10 blogs cause then I would read you all day long.

    And I’ll totally throw in something extra for the winner too since Domestic Chicky got a bracelet to give away too. And it just might require batteries.

    Lotta’s last blog post..Boing Boing

  56. Okay, I have to admit. I also thought it was a nipple ring giving new meaning to the term.

    In the spirit of jewelry, my favorite designer is: http://www.ayazakura.com

    And to anyone who complains that there is more than one Jenny blog: What is *wrong* with you? Don’t you want *more*?? I do.

    ali’s last blog post..Go here.

  57. Ohmygod I love you, Bloggess. Love love love. Mostly here, not so much at Mama Drama, but because of you I have deleted a whole slew of other blogs from my bookmarks because they are DULL and RESTRAINED in comparison. And I want that ring because it reminds me of pink lemonade hubba bubba, and I just bought the red squirrel hair slide from Momomatic to prove my devotion!

  60. When I first started writing a blog for the Chron, Dwight asked me if I wanted my Twitter feed in the column next to it. He said that I couldn’t curse in my Twitter feed either.

    As I told him then, not cursing in my f**cking Twitter feed is not an option. Cursing is all my lame a** Twitter feed has going for it.

    Jeff’s last blog post..Dear Abby: Delivering A Child is Not Perverted

  61. Jenny, don’t put me in for the jewelry… I don’t wear a lot of rings, really… but I had to delurk to say I will always read you, no matter where you post. You’re in my Bloglines, and even though I don’t often speak up, I’m here.
    So whoever is going on about where you post? Neener to them.

    Melanie’s last blog post..Huh-LOW-huh

  62. Well, Thank Gawd you started The Bloggess because you seriously rock. I adore you, your screw,and your F**ck.

    “Well Behaved Women Rarely Make History” is a quote written for you 😀

    Chris’s last blog post..Kree! Alien 101

  63. OH!!! a ring? really? wow? it should be MINE, all MINE! after all, doncha feel bad for a single mom of two freaking insane children who don’t get no jewry no mo on accounta havin no mens in her life? honestly.

    love the bloggess. love the bad words, foul shit, butt, poo, antidepressants, and basically any other off the wall crap you care to dish out. i shall take it. rock it, yo.

  64. Are you serious, people actually complain about you writing for 2 blogs?

    Some people obviously have too much time on their hands.

    I must admit I have a PREFERENCE for the Bloggess, purely because Mama Drama is updated so often that I have to wade through to find yours…

    LaLa’s last blog post..Me so hairy?

  65. Okay, first of all, if you guys are trying to make me swoony with compliments it’s working. Quick, someone insult me before I become too good for you all.

    Secondly, you shouldn’t pass over the other Mama Drama posts because often they are really amazing. In fact, Mindy’s post today is kicking mine’s ass and rightly so.

    Third, okay I changed my mind. Compliment me some more. Someone talk about my hair.

  71. Jenny, I’ve always been jealous of your hair. That, and I like both blogs.

    Really.

    I mean it.

    BTW – I came across the rest of the hair-bow-skull fabric yesterday. What to do, oh what to do.

    Gretchen’s last blog post..Hump Day.

  72. To those people who have a problem with your writing on either blog, I say you just politely tell them:

    “They’s just tits, y’all.”

    You’re welcome.

  74. I’m just posting to get the free “little extra and “appropriate” something” that Lotta promised to send to the winner along with the ring.

    And I love both blogs, BTW.

  83. Okay, since I’m gonna be at least number 83 here, I have to offer something. And it’s not about your hair, but rather the fact that everyone that missed MDCQII missed out on your “boobage.” I’ve seen no mention of it, anywhere. Wazzup with dat?

    Oh, and you do also have nice hair (even though I wasn’t originally going to mention it.)

  87. Jenny, I just appreciate your honesty – at least you’ll admit to trying to buy our love. It’s not like I’ve ever tried it. No, I didn’t send you pottery – absolutely not. That’s right, not me, and you can drop the restraining order against me anytime.

    p.s. I agree, Sippy Cups Kick Ass

    mark’s last blog post..Alert: The Adjective “Canadian” Leads To Confusion

  88. so i’ve pretty much gotten to the point of only reading the mama drama posts that you write. don’t get me wrong, i like the other girls, but they just aren’t my jenny

    and i can say fuck on bloggess and you totally don’t care….

    i love that about you 😉

    Biddy’s last blog post..did this a few weeks ago…

  90. Look at the reaction you’ve created. I’m with some of these comments. Your blog is like so much cooler than mine! You are so hilarious!!

  95. Why is everyone loving your hair? I totally want your boobs. I mean I don’t “want” them. I just want them on my body. Ok, wait this isn’t sounding at all like I mean.

    I wish I had Jenny style knockers.

    Is that better?

    Lotta’s last blog post..Dance Off!

  100. Now we’re all waiting to see when you’ll pass the 100-comment mark.

    And, of course, I’m still waiting for your headache to go away.

  101. One hundred and one!

    Dudes. This is more comments than I got when I was mauled by wild dogs. Weird.

    Also? My headache is gone but I had extra guacamole at lunch and now I just feel too fat to have sex. Would you settle for a footrub?

  102. I was expecting make-up sex. Now, after all these comments, you want me to settle for a footrub? Ass.

  104. So I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but not in the sense of “I’m reading your blog purely so I can comment on a post so you’ll comment on one of my posts and I’ll feel loved. And maybe someday I’ll actually have more than three readers.” No, you’re like the hot cheerleader in high school – I can admire you from afar but with the volume of readers you have, there’s no way you would ever reply to one of my comments.

    So, when I finally can’t help but comment on your blog, and I get no less than TWO excellent comments back, I’m feeling the love.

    I can’t even remember how I found your blog in the first place, but I read it faithfully simply because I like it. And it’s hard to crack me up, but you do. So thanks.

    NewDuck’s last blog post..Argentina, what is wrong with you?

  106. Hi, crazy. I don’t know which I like best- you being called an ass, or offering make-up sex. Sorry about that headache, it would have been fun, I promise!

    I commented when you were mauled by wild dogs because I’m just that kind of loving blog-friend (BTW, do you have rabies yet?) Ya know, I should hand out cheap jewelry and offer sex- maybe that will raise my readership.

    Dang it, woman. Your post was so all over the place and in my brain style (maybe it’s the name?) that I can’t remember most of the rest of your post. Did you find Melissa? Maybe cheap jewelry and sex will work on her too!

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..I am being sucker punched left and right

  107. I think it’s time to create the “Jenny the Bloggess” fan club. Soon, you’ll be able to quit that not as much fun job you do during normal working hours and just blog. We’ll support you with the $29.95 fee we’ll charge to join the fan club. Then you can come join us whenever you want.

    And seriously, I’m with NewDuck. Thr first time you commented on my blog, I seriously almost peed myself…lol

    mamalang’s last blog post..and the weirdness continues

  113. why does everyone think that looks like a nipple!? oh wait, nevermind…i forget mine are abnormally small and not pink…

    did i really just say that? crap, now i’ll never get makeup sex with you…

    Biddy’s last blog post..oh what a day….

  114. I read both, like I said over there. I’m just not that bitchy. But some people are. But I love cussing over there in my comment, so Min has to remove it. 🙂

    Phoenix’s last blog post..Fifteen degrees

  115. You’re so f*ck(n awesome!!!

    I didn’t even notice the word ass in that post. That’s how I roll, baby. Potty Mouth Posse in full effect.

    But seriously.

    You’re an ass-kickin’ momma!

    Smokin’!

    Dr. Ding’s last blog post..I’m Goin’ To Tha Fridge

  117. “I wish I had Jenny style knockers.”

    ‘Jenny-style’ knockers? Can’t wait for the info-mercial! Don’t know if you have actual product yet, but you have one heckuva marketing slogan:

    “They’s just tits, y’all.”

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Jenny, this one’s for you

  118. They ain’t just tits, Ed. They’s genuine JennyTits brand knockers. Not available in stores.

  119. For the record? I heart both “Blogess” and “MD”. The big paper here (for which I used to review books)keeps promising me a possible post like the one you have with the HC. Some money is supposed to also be part of the deal. But? It has never materialized. Thats something we could discuss over our martinis as we decided which is worse: writing for no money OR the promise of writing for money that never, ever materializes.

    AB’s last blog post..Life Menu

  121. I love both sites – and people who spend their time agonizing the logistics of your involvement in either place, or whether you’re PAID to be here, there or wherever . . . need to get a life.

    You’re awesome Jenny.

    Carrie’s last blog post..I am So Old

  122. “Your submission included words that may not be appropriate. Ass.”
    Do all people in Houston write like this? Ass? If so, I could totally live in Houston. Ass. Now I live in Utah. Ass. Did you know that people in Utah read your blogs? Ass? They do! Ass! They make us laugh! Ass!

    I don’t blog about my life. Ass. I blog about my dog’s life. Ass. Clearly I have too much time on my hands! Ass! Reading your blog may actually be keeping me out of trouble. Ass.

    I agree with Carrie. Ass. You’re awesome Jenny! Ass!

    Yvette’s last blog post..We have snow much snow!

  124. Pingback: The Bloggess » I don’t even know why I bother

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