A few days ago my friend Erica offered me a press pass to check out an underground 12th century Ethiopian Church that’s being built for the upcoming iFest 2008. I’ve never been a real “member of the press” so I jumped at the chance.
I lost the address but figured I’d be able to spot a giant replica church in the middle of the Heights. Then I remembered the “underground” part and realized I was an idiot. In spite of myself I found it and it was awesome. And by “awesome” I mean “missing”. Because it had already been carted off to the festival. But there were still plenty of things to report on. Like this guy who was painting some kind of an…I dunno…giant tunnel or something?:
I don’t know what the tunnel thingy was for because while the art director lady was explaining that I was busy telling (the) Monica Danna about the time I (kind of) got stabbed in the face by the Night Stalker.
Then I snuck into the tunnel with some hot chick whose name I’ve forgotten but I think she works at a museum or something.
It was very tunnely.
Then I tried to take notes about ancient Ethiopian culture but I got distracted by some dogs that were humping.
I’m pretty sure this is exactly how Murphy Brown got started.
Speaking of me failing at pretty much everything, do you remember on April Fool’s Day when I decided I wanted to be a political pundit? Well, the fabulous MOMocrats read that post and liked it enough to encourage me to write a real political piece for their well-respected site so I submitted something I’m really proud of. I don’t want to give anything away but I will let you in on two things:
1. The piece is really well-written and includes such gems as “Hillary Clinton: I bet she gives really bad blow-jobs.”
2. There is no way MOMocrats is ever going to publish that thing.
PS. Did you write something awesome you want people to read? Tell me about it.
PPS. This is not the big exciting post I was telling you about. It’s coming, I swear.
Updated – Crap on a crap cracker, y’all. The MOMocrats actually published it. They must be high. And awesome. Someone please go over and comment so I only look like a total moron and not a total moron with no friends.
Comment of the day: I have seen those dogs before! I think they do that douchebag frat-daddy thing where they jump in pictures they weren’t meant to be in. I bet they wear their collars popped. F’n d-bag dog fuckers (I could only clean that up so much – sorry.) ~ Ryan