So I was standing in line at Chipotle to order a burrito when I started thinking that I’m full of mosquitoes. Like, some people are attracted to me because I’m weird and oddly fascinating but really the thing that people think is so unique is just this craziness that’s like a bunch of mosquitoes buzzing around inside of me. I bet if I suddenly got sliced in half and all the mosquitoes flew out all the people who thought I was so awesome would probably run away repulsed. I was trying to remember this analogy so I could come back and write it down and I was saying to myself “Full of mosquitoes, full of mosquitoes” in my head and then the server was like “What’ll it be?” and I said “Full of mosquitoes.” Then she looked at me all weird and so I just said louder “Ve-giee Bureeeeto” like I hadn’t said “full of mosquitoes” at all and that she’d just misunderstood me because she doesn’t speak English very well. Then I did the same thing when I went to get my drink and a guy jostled me and said “Excuse me” and I’m all “Full of uh duswmumble s’okay.”
I bet this sort of thing would never happen if I wasn’t full of mosquitoes.
PS. Remember when this blog was about real stuff that made sense? Me too. That was awesome.
PPS. I’m crazy but I don’t actually think I’m full of mosquitoes. It’s an analogy. A very, very bad analogy.
Comment of the day: I predict Chipotle will come to be pronounced Chipolte in time, it’s inevitable. and linguists will cite Nick Nolte as the reason. ~Always, Buddy