I don’t entirely fit in here.

Conversation I had this morning with my coworker, Christine, who gets mad when I call her “my coworker” instead of “my kick-ass friend”.  So just to clarify, she’s both.

Me:  Dude!  I’m totally the top story on Geekologie!

Christine:  Really?

Me:  Yes!  Pull it up!

Top story on Geekologie:

 

 Christine: Huh.

Me:  Oh.    That’s not me.

Christine:  Hmm.

Me:  Just…go further down. 

Christine: “Robotic spider to destroy Liverpool on Friday“?

Me:  Fuck.  Keep scrolling.  Wait…there! 

Christine:  “Woman gets confusing box of LEGO parts“?

Me:  Yeah! I’m “Woman”!

Christine:  Wow.

Then I walked next door to my other co-worker’s office and was like “Hey!  I was on Geekologie!” and then she’s all “Geek-what-ogie?”” and then I give her a look of profound disappointment and explain that it’s like the Gadgety counterpart of The Superficial so I pull it up and she’s like “The hell?  When did you get tranny legos?” and I’m all “YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME AT ALL!” and then I went into my office and cried a little.  Inside.  And then I made some super-complicated pivot-tables in excel and my computer crashed and I half suspect that it’s bringing down the entire company server and I’m afraid to ask if anyone else’s computer is slow now in case they suspect that I caused it.

And then my super-nice boss came in and said “My daughter showed me your blog yesterday and we watched that video where you keep yelling the c-word and I kept telling my daughter ‘That is not the sweet Jenny I know!'” and then I was like “I’M MULTI-FACETED!”  And then I realized I was yelling.  Also I just found out I’m being relocated to another building like a mile away from all of them.  I’m pretty sure none of this is related.

Comment of the day: Where’d you find that cool artsy photo of two alien children sharing a Coke? It’s just so darn cute. ~ I can’t read my nametag

103 thoughts on “I don’t entirely fit in here.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I thought I was so creative stashing my phone in my bra, like a chipmunk with big old nut stashing cheeks. Some days I keep pulling stuff out of there, like gum balls, shorty pencils, and gas station receipts, and ofcourse, eventually, the phone. It’s easier to locate when it’s ringing.

    clickmom’s last blog post..drink up

  2. I always walk that thin line between wanting people to know “the real/fun/irreverent me” on my blog and the version of me they THINK they know.

    I hate keeping my blog from certain friends and family.

    On the other hand, I kinda live by the rule,
    If they can’t take a fuck,
    Joke ’em.

  3. I’m so JEALOUS…I’ll I got on Geekologie was a little thing at the bottom of the Bigfoot is fake story something that said “Thanks to so and so, so and so and Gingela 5 for sending in the story” And you being moved probably has something to do with Chuck…

    gingela5’s last blog post..Bitterness Brings Out My Good Side…

  4. So… do you think they were plannig on using those phones once they removed them? Because that is just sick.

    Oh, and congrats on the whole geekologie thing!

    Gross.

  5. Where’d you find that cool artsy photo of two alien children sharing a Coke? It’s just so darn cute.

  6. So this building that they’re moving you to… Did they mention whether there’d be any other people there or is it just going to be you?

    Steve’s last blog post..Bed Covers

  7. I found you through Geekologie!! Of course I did think you were a tranny with a cell phone stuck up your ass, but oh well.

  8. I wish I had a job where someone would pay me to play on the internet all day.

    Wish I could write in green.

    With I could relocate to that cubicle 2 miles away from everyone else.

    I’ll stop wishing now and go and throw some slug pellets around the garden.

    Cheers

    Maddy’s last blog post..Thursday 13 – The Crown Jewels revealed

  9. New reader here! Did I comment yet? Who knows. Anyhow, just stopping by to say you are one of my new favorite reads. You make me lol lol lol all the way home.

    I kinda wish that was your bum with the phone in it though. Because I am really curious how they got it out of there.

    Amanda’s last blog post..Who the hell is this Kim Kardashian person?

  10. it’s one thing to break into a little chuckle at work.
    totally different to go into one of my laughing, snorting, hacking fits…i’ve been told i sound like all sorts of things, but generally a guinea pig.

    and that’s only from the little side of me my coworkers (who are not kick-ass friends, a la Christine) see day to day.
    i am afraid for them to someday experience my true insanity. because i’m sure in my case, i’d get shipped off to our west coast office, and that’d be sad.

    also, i hate pivot tables. excel=death of me. good thing that’s 98% of the job…

    gathering dust’s last blog post..Getting a little political…

  11. Ok…I try to do pivot sort thingys in Excel and sometimes it works but if it does it usually takes like an extra two or three hours more than it should have and no one is as impressed by it as I had imagined they would be and then someone always sends it back to me and it’s ruined, but I don’t notice and I save the fucked-up version over the good version

    When I read “multi-faceted” from you, what I hear is a poly-polar behavioral rationalization that begs for you to be isolated from the general population of faith-based employees.

    Oh, it’s great that you were on geek whatever.

  12. Sometimes people are really,really smart and say something witty in the comments and everyone is all “LOL!!111” and we all sit back and laugh and laugh and laugh and just appreciate the hell out of that person and then we stop.

    And then there are times when people post a stupid comment on the wrong post and everyone is all “dipshit.”

    I am one of those people.

    Kurt’s last blog post..Random Friday Blog

  13. I can’t believe you still have a job there. Didn’t Dooce get fired for this type of thing? Anyway, I did *not* know about Geekologie, so thanks for that.

    PS- I was on Boing Boing once and I called every single family member with a computer to share the news. Only 2 of them had ever heard of it, so most didn’t understand why I thought I deserved a party.

    PPS- I’m glad you don’t have a cell phone up your bum and/or cooch.

  14. I saw those tranny legos on Geekologie this morning and I was all “I know that Woman!” Lol, awesome.

  15. I wouldn’t wanna work at any faith-based organization that didn’t promote use of the C-word.

    Wait.

    Are you not talking about Christ?

    I’m going to watch the video now with my kids. brb.

    The Cotton Wife’s last blog post..The Dove Hunt

  16. None of this has anything to do with why you were moved.

    No ma’am, they made that decision when you guffawed during prayer. Der.

  17. Is multi-faceted anything like bi-polar? Cause I’m all about making my crazy sound prettier. Sort of gives it a blingy feel.

    I’m sure your faith-based employer is just thrilled shitless about your c-word dropping on the internet….oh wait…not the CHRIST word…the OTHER c-word….ahhh, happy moving.

    Anissa@Hope4Peyton’s last blog post..Perspective, getcha some

  18. My server crashed this morning and I’m pretty sure it was your fault. And just who the hell would want to make a phone call on a phone stuck up someones ass?! Wait….I don’t really want to know the answer to that. I also hope I’ve never borrowed a cell phone that was stuck up someones ass and made a phone call on it. Oh crap I better go call my shrink!

    Kile’s last blog post..Tuesday….umm Wednesday?…Smackdown…ish..or something

  19. Please relocate to my building! Please, please, please! I mean, it’s not like I’m getting any work done anyway. (But don’t tell Chuck.)

  20. Guess what? You are now an email forward. I got the lego story forwarded to me randomly today. You are making the haha rounds across the globe!

    cloudy’s last blog post..MY REASON

  21. Just wait, Diane. They’ll be telling you in a couple of days.

    BTW, Jenny, don’t be making fun of Chuck. I’m a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster: http://www.venganza.org/about/open-letter/ <– (that’s the letter that we sent to the Kansas school board about teaching Non-intelligent Design theories in their classrooms), so if you’re going to make fun of something, make fun of all of the morons who faithfully give 10% of their incomes to some asshole who stands behind a podium on Sundays, just because he told them they should.

  22. So apparently I’m chopped liver over here in your new building. I’m so excited you are coming BACK over here and working near me I wet myself a little!

    Did I tell you we are moving you into office 1313 Squid? he he he I bet that made you wet yourself a lot or at least squirm a little didn’t it?

  23. In re: your being the top story on Geekology.

    I laughed so hard I cried once I read the headline on the screen capture. I haven’t stopped yet. It huuuuuurrrrrrrts.

    And then I scrolled up just now and really got a good eyefull of the visual. And it set me off all over again.

    Some days you’re the prisoner, and some days you’re the cellphone.

    Sallyacious’s last blog post..Long-Ass Day

  24. I so love you–you say all the things that I wish I was brave enough to say…

    Give me courage, oh Chuck. I wanna be Blogess when I grow up, wait…I don’t wanna grow up…I’m a TOYS R US kid…

    Martie’s last blog post..Superwoman…

  25. Oh. And in relation to the “c-word” I had a roomful of college freshmen using it last spring. That’s right, people, I’m in charge of shaping your children’s minds.

    Sallyacious’s last blog post..Long-Ass Day

  26. For a minute, I could not figure out if you were featured on Geek-loogie, or Geek-orgy. That dyslexia is a real bicht.

    I say, don’t give up until you have a geek trifecta.

    anne nahm’s last blog post..Waterworks

  27. OK. I would just die if my boss read my blog, not that I ever have videos of myself yelling the C (see you next tuesday) word. And those prisoners with the cell phones! I can’t even believe they did surgery on any of them. THEY’RE PRISONERS! What a great way to spend our tax dollars! They put the cell phones there. Let them deal with it. Oh my! I sound like a hearless b, don’t I? Well, I didn’t put a cell phone up MY butt!

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..I Love Houston in the Fall

  28. Apparently, I’m multi-faceted too. I’ve been reprimanded at work for being too quiet, but people on Twitter want me to shut up. I guess I’m only an introvert in the three-dimensional world.

    The Introvert’s last blog post..taxicab confessions

  29. I got moved to a different office once. I was moved out of a building with people into one across the camp where I was all by myself. “AWESOME!” I thought. A couple months later, someone remembered I was there and totally laid me off. Funny thing is, I thought that was pretty awesome, too. I don’t predict unemployment in your future, though, because that’s not one of my talents.

    foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)’s last blog post..‘you got the teeth of the hydra upon you’

  30. i was just mentioning this to my sister tonight on the phone, the superficial’s sister site geekologie. i pronounced it like geek LOOGIE and she laughed for about three hours. then she said, leah it’s geek-OLOGY. then she asked if i was being serious, and i said straight up serious.

    i thought would be a good tie in to announcing that an old neighborhood butcher shop we used to frequent was held up last night, but the cashier shot the robber guy. i said you remember the shamrock food KINTER don’t you? (center, pronounced KINTER). get it? i was six at the time, it’s an old family joke.

    nevermind.

    you are awesome. every single day.

    piglet’s last blog post..whatever you do, don’t tell my mom about any of this.

  31. So, they moved you to a new building? So long as it isn’t called the “Texas Workforce Commission”, you should at least get some peace and quiet. And maybe a server of your own to crash.

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..Merrie Olde Texas!

  32. Heh, yeah. I told someone that I know in real life (and live down the street from) that I have a blog and now she’s totally stalking me. IN REAL LIFE! It was like, until that point I was just some freak who never talked to anyone and now I’m the funniest person she knows.

    I’M MULTIFACETED!

    Kylie’s last blog post..Hippies Are Like Jeans

  33. Holly hell. Just discovered this place today (yes, have been living under a rock, apparently), and honestly. You should publish a warning on this thing that says do not eat while ‘drinking coffe/diet coke/water or eating pita bread with turkey breast & tomato filling’. All of which have come out of my nose at various times today while reading your site. F*cking hillarious. You are now my poster girl for… everything. *Meant in a non-stalker fashion*.

    FruGal’s last blog post..Good FruGal, Bad FruGal

  34. Dear Geekologie,

    Thank you for linking me to thebloggess. I may never be the same. I think that’s a good thing?

    Love,

    Blu

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