January 2009 – The Bloggess

UPDATED: By the time you read this I will be addicted to Meth

So yesterday I left my doctor a teary message begging her for something stronger than the rheumatoid arthritis meds that are not working for me at all and I happened to mention that I read a study about medicinal marijuana helping and then right after that my pharmacy called and said they had “something” forContinue reading “UPDATED: By the time you read this I will be addicted to Meth”

My web host wants my blog to fail, homeless people to die

My blog broke again today so I called the web host guys and the IT guy was all “What’s wrong?” and I’m like “Shit’s fucked up, dude” and I explained that it said I had 76 comments on my last post but that you can’t see any of them and he’s all “Huh.” And I’mContinue reading “My web host wants my blog to fail, homeless people to die”

I weep for America and for the world in general. And for aliens. Please tell me if I’ve left anyone out.

Some actual comments from this video of a “ghost” looking out from behind a wall that Youtube thinks I want to see: omg i am on? a computer I ALMOST SHITTED MY PANTS i think corner’s are scary cause you don’t know what is at the other side if that happend to me i would throw aContinue reading “I weep for America and for the world in general. And for aliens. Please tell me if I’ve left anyone out.”

UPDATED: Tough luck, pussycat

So this weekend Victor spent like 4 hours driving around looking for the original version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory because he thinks the remake is an abomination and comes back with a carpet cleaner and I’m all “WTF? Why did you buy a carpet steamer?” and he’s all “For you. I thought you’d want it.” AndContinue reading “UPDATED: Tough luck, pussycat”

This post is not about fisting

So apparently the post I wrote today was too offensive for some of my loyal readers so I’m putting this post up in front of it so you can have time to decide if you really want to see the real post I wrote today or if you’d rather just look at this post which is, in fact, aContinue reading “This post is not about fisting”

I kind of wrote about this on twitter already so technically this is a re-run but you probably still need a refresher

Remember when I wrote about how hysterical it was that ziploc was marketing Scooby-Doo “Funbags“ and then like half of you were all “What are funbags?” and I had to explain that funbags = boobies? That’s pretty much exactly what happened when I put a link to this video on twitter: Then like 28 peopleContinue reading “I kind of wrote about this on twitter already so technically this is a re-run but you probably still need a refresher”