I kind of wrote about this on twitter already so technically this is a re-run but you probably still need a refresher

Remember when I wrote about how hysterical it was that ziploc was marketing Scooby-Doo “Funbags and then like half of you were all “What are funbags?” and I had to explain that funbags = boobies?  That’s pretty much exactly what happened when I put a link to this video on twitter:

Then like 28 people emailed me and were all “What’s fisting?”   So then I was all “Honestly people, buy a dictionary” but then I looked it up in my dictionary AND IT WASN’T EVEN IN THERE.  But my dictionary was published in 1988 so I can only assume people didn’t fist before then.  So instead I linked to the urban dictionary so that people who aren’t as well-informed as me about fisting would know why the Fox interview made me fall out of my chair:

Even more awesome, the Urban Dictionary randomly rotates t-shirt ads next to all of their definitions.  This was yesterdays ad:

Awesome.

PS.  In case you’re still confused, I’m pretty sure the “Love Doctor” being interview was referring to how Barack and Michelle Fist-BUMP in public.

Also, I’m pretty sure the “Love Doctor” is a total fraud because what kind of Love Doctor doesn’t know about fisting?  Shenanigans!

Comment of the day: My grandmother broke her wrist about three weeks ago. When I took her to her bone doctor to get x-rays and stuff done on Wednesday, he told her to practice fisting before her next appointment. Yes, he meant putting her fingers into a fist to build strength back up in them, but he kept saying fisting. It took everything in me to not either laugh or kill him for talking like that to my grandmother. ~ Justin

163 replies. read them below or add one

  1. LOL!!! Thanks for the refresher!!!

  2. If you don’t know about fisting, you really haven’t lived.

    Also – I was laughing just last night about those GIANT ziploc bags. They show some poor kid toting one of those to school filled with crap. Can you imagine the amount of ridicule she’ll be subjected to?

    Lotta’s last blog post..Character, Culture, Citizenship Guides

  3. I dunno. It’s probably valid that the Love Doctor doesn’t know about fisting because anything that requires “huge amounts of lubricant” isn’t necessarily an act of love. Now if she were calling herself the Painful Sexual Practices Doctor? Totally different story.

    janet’s last blog post..Hips Don’t Lie

  4. That is so hilarious! I love the uncomfortable laughter accompanying the doctor’s chuckle. You know that anchor has totally been fisted.

    Amysprite’s last blog post..Bizarre Medical Episode (That Happened at MY House) and Wrapping Up Loose Threads

  5. I’m equally amused that the entrant misspelled vagina.

  6. ROFL omg what a fantastic start to the day. Let’s query who knows what felching is and see what else happens =P

    hmog’s last blog post..

  7. I understood yesterday. I’m not saying how I know, just not from personal experience. K?

    It’s just tragic, isn’t it?

    Wendy’s last blog post..New Word Thursday or take a deep breath

  8. I wish I was confused about this. Really, I do.

    Sprite’s Keeper’s last blog post..The Randomness of Being

  9. Let’s see them put that on the cover of the New Yorker!

    Jennifer Kenney’s last blog post..Crisis of Confidence

  10. Great. Thank you for removing my hope for change. Now, I will not be able to look at our new President without seeing him and his wife fisting. What were you saying, Mr. President? I couldn’t pay attention, because you seem like very skinny people with kind of large hands. Never mind the bombing in Gaza, what kind of lubricant are you using?

  11. Holy Crap! Good ole Fox News… always providing entertainment instead of news.

    P.S. OUCH!

    Elaine’s last blog post..Photostory Friday – The Horse Farm

  12. I think this might be blasphemous…but still awesome.

    Catazon’s last blog post..I’m Not Complaining…

  13. Wow, I’m still surprised that people didn’t know what fisting was. I’m mean, really, we’re in 2009 people! LOL

    Thanks for the laughs Jenny, as usual.

    Greis’s last blog post..2 weeks down…

  14. The best part is the other lady’s uncomfortable laugh. Thank you for sharing this.

    “Yes we did.” LOLOLOLLOLllllll.

    maria’s last blog post..instant karma

  15. Lucky you!
    You just lost a loyal reader with post.

    Offensive.

    The Glamorous Life’s last blog post..SkyWatch Friday

  16. This was hilarious! If I had seen that on tv I would have died laughing. Puts a picture in your head that isnt pleasant.

    Denise’s last blog post..Friday fill in and what I need

  17. So, basically, what you’re saying is, there IS a God, and he’s one hilarious motherfucker.

    Todd Adamson’s last blog post..January 23, 2009

  18. Ouch! I know babies come outta vaggies, so it’s meant to be all stretchy and shit, and I assume the person’s fist isn’t really balled up like they’re about to box, but it’s probably more like getting the whole hand scrunched in there with the fingers close together in a tight salute, but the anal cavity is tight as hell, so how in the hell do you get a flippin’ hand in there? You wouldn’t shit right or sit right for a month!

    (Was that too much?) 😉

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Work It Girl!

  19. not only during kissing, but me and my lady always make eye contact during fisting as well

    furiousBall’s last blog post..Cumulonimbus Van

  20. I think we can all agree that fisting is best left to Cheney and the large, foul-tempered man he will be sharing a jail cell with.

    Also, funbags…heh.

    Kurt’s last blog post..Medical Updates from Pharaoh

  21. 21
    Aprylsantics

    I haven’t evolved enough to engage in fisting.

  22. Really, people need to get schooled on what kids are doing these days. Fisting is the new blow job.

    Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]’s last blog post..Delicious Cake

  23. Kind of reminds me of when I was trying to name my blog and I was all “Hey, I’ll call it Extra Gravy” because what is better than extra gravy? I love gravy, and extra gravy would be awesome, but then my friend said, “Look it up in the urban dictionary.” And then I had to go throw up.

  24. I almost drove off the road yesterday when I heard this on the radio. Yay Fox News.

    kaila’s last blog post..A Sweet Little Interlude….

  25. Hey…Glamorous Life…you’re a “faithful reader” and you found THIS offensive? bahahahaha.

  26. I wish I could claim I didn’t know what fisting was until I read this, but sadly I have very very open friends that share altogether too much.

    Thanks for the giggle.

    Mad Woman’s last blog post..Weekly Word Challenge

  27. oops sorry..I misquoted. “Loyal reader”, I meant “loyal reader”.

    Still laughing…..

  28. OMG! This post is hilarious! Also? The comments? Pushed me over the edge! “anything that requires “huge amounts of lubricant” isn’t necessarily an act of love.” and “not only during kissing, but me and my lady always make eye contact during fisting as well” Great Stuff!

  29. Wow. I’m really surprised so many people don’t know what fisting is. Perhaps that’s only because I learned about it in Lesbian 101.

    SparklieSunShine’s last blog post..Maternity Clothing, Weirdness and Ruby Slippers…Oh My!

  30. Any good love doctor knows about fisting.

    I mean, I’ve known about fisting since I was 19 and my gay roommate called our gay neighbors the “fisting daddies”.

    They lived across the hall and during Sunday football games you’d hear them yelling “Ooooh Yeah, Get that ball” and it would be normal football yelling at first and then by half-time it would be a little more “oooooh yeah” and then it’d get really quiet.

    They were pretty good neighbors except that they’d get in a fight like once a week and one would throw the other’s stuff out the balcony door and then when I got home from whatever rave I was at, I’d have swerve around the clothes strewn around the parking lot.

    And trust me? That is hard when you’re tripping. But if you pretend like you’re playing Pole Position it gets easier and more entertaining.

    So yeah, fisting.

    Betsey Booms’s last blog post..Confronting Mr. Big Butt

  31. In response to:

    “Lucky you!
    You just lost a loyal reader with post.
    Offensive.”

    Not to like, stir anything up. This is just an observation. But, I find it odd that a loyal reader (that means someone who has been reading a long time, right?) would choose today to be offended. I mean, if this was offensive, shouldn’t you have stopped at dismembered babies or sea men or mittens for various private parts? Again, this is just an observation. Everyone has a right to be as offended as they want at anything they want. And everyone else has a right to think it it’s odd.

  32. I’m sorry I just saw that Marcia already made this observation. Glad I’m not the only one confused.

  33. Maybe that reporter had the inside scoop. We’ll have to see if the national debt increases due to the purchase of lube to be sure though.

    Jim’s last blog post..100th post

  34. More evolved? Is that the real last step in the evolution of man graphic: Monkey, hunched man, upright man, modern man, fisting?

    Dani’s last blog post..Everyone knows cube-shaped containers are for non-organic materials…

  35. Kristin, I’d totally give you a fist-bump for that, but I’m just not that into the kinky stuff. 🙂

  36. OKAY SHUT UP!!! THAT”S THE BEST THING I”VE SEEN ALLLLLLL YEAR!!!!
    ROFLMAO!!!!!!

    hahahahahahahahahahaha.
    Seriously.
    *breathe* ghahahahahaha.

    Debbi’s last blog post..Issues Episodes: Weight loss

  37. You provide a massive public service because you don’t want the uninformed googling this on their own. But I blame the schools today for our illiterate public. No child left behind, my ass.

    Thankfully the urban dictionary scribe equates evolved with queer and kinky. There IS hope for our future after all.

    deb on the rocks’s last blog post..Obam-chica-bow-wow: Let’s Get It On!

  38. LOLOL @ “inside scoop.”

    Todd Adamson’s last blog post..January 23, 2009

  39. The incident is funny (my dh told me about it yesterday). The post is funny. But funniest is that anyone could claim they follow this blog and then say they are offended at a post like this 😀 Methinks they might not be following that closely 😉

  40. My grandmother broke her wrist about three weeks ago. When I took her to her bone doctor to get x-rays and stuff done on Wednesday, he told her to practice fisting before her next appointment. Yes, he meant putting her fingers into a fist to build strength back up in them, but he kept saying fisting. It was everything in me to not either laugh or kill him for talking like that to my grandmother.

  41. The Obama ad next to the definition is hilarious, but my favorite part is where it says “requires great care”. Seems to imply that “fisting” is a very gentle and loving act. Who knew!?

    P.S. Firefox thinks I spelled fisting wrong. I guess it really isn’t in the dictionary.

  42. That’s hilarious! That poor dumb white chick has NO idea what she even said and that makes it all the better! HEE HEE!

  43. Oh lord. How is it possible that Fox continues to get the stupidest people in the world to say shit like this as “experts”.

    Thank you for this post, I’m laughing so damn hard.

    followthatdog’s last blog post..Transformation!

  44. You’re killing me! ROTFLMAO!

    Katrina’s last blog post..Protected: My gosh this baby is friggin’ cute!

  45. For a brief moment your post about ‘fisting’ was right next to an add for the United Negro College Fund. Which is all kinds of fucked up. You know, like, “You’re black! Go to college like our black president! Learn about history, physics and fisting!”

    Heather B.’s last blog post..Grace in Small Things: Three

  46. Oh my god, this is hysterical.

    Y’know, I’m already having inappropriate thoughts about our new Commander in Chief. This just adds a whole new and interesting layer to those thoughts. I think I’m going to have to bleach my brain.

  47. Holy crap that’s funny. I especially like the ad they ran next to the definition. Still giggling with tears running down my face and can’t tell my co-workers why. Forwarded this to EVERYONE. NSFW of course. Thank you Jenny for starting my Friday out right.

    Karen’s last blog post..Max’s Trip to the Fair Continued

  48. Just wondering, did that women mention of they toss their salad?

    amanda’s last blog post..Edges— blurred and sharp

  49. Love the random ad next to it! Laughing my ass off.

    Domestic extraordinaire’s last blog post..It’s Tuesday again!

  50. I feel so smart because I know what funbags are and what fisting is. I’m totally going to put that on my resume.

    And I wouldn’t worry about one Debby Downer being offended. In fact if at least one person didn’t get offended occassionaly by what I write, then I would worry.

  51. I’m offended by the reader who was offended.

    Avitable’s last blog post..Avitaweek 2009: The origins of Avitable

  52. The best part is that you KNOW that people our parents’ age watched this and will be arguing in a diner somewhere in middle America yelling, “Oh yeah? Well, he does that Terrorist FISTING! THAT’S why he can’t be trusted to run our country!” or in a supermarket somewhere in Queens, “I just don’t understand kids these days with the texting and the FISTING. When I was a girl, we never fisted anyone!”

  53. Fisting. Fist-BUMPING. Yeah, I can see how the people at FoxNews could mix that up. There are so similar (rolling eyes).

    I think we have to let it go. They are grieving still and grief-stricken people just don’t think clearly and even less so when they were idiots to begin with.

    annie’s last blog post..Friday Updating

  54. I am supposedly a professional geographer (don’t ask what that means, because I have no f’in idea) and I occasionally go to professional type conferences. So one year I tootle on over to Denver, and lo’ and behold, there is a session on “Sexual Geographies”, and the first section is entitled “The Geography of Fisting.” I was so there. So my roomie and I get up extra early to be there on time, which was hard because it was the very first paper of the very first session of the day, but it was sure to be worth it, and besides, all the rest of the session was on lesbos, and my roomie was one, so we were hoping to pick her up a date. So we get there and five feet away from the door is one of our old professors, who is so excited that we came to support her in her panel discussion on feminism or something boring like that which was about to start next door. So we ended up getting roped into that instead, and we ended up ticking off all the feminists, and I never got to find out about the geographies of fisting. I go to the conferences almost every year now, hoping that there will be fisting, but there never is.

    Well, at least it’s good to know that it’s a time honored tradition in the White House. Maybe they’ll give a paper on it instead.

  55. Lucky you!
    You just gained a loyal reader with post.

    Funny

  56. THAT IS ALL SORTS OF FREAKING AWESOME!

  57. Is it just me, or does the lady that Obama is ear nibbling look like RuPaul??

  58. You are a much nicer blogger than me. You give pics of kittens to your audience before you rant. Me…..I just rant….

  59. Marcia—I completely understand where you’re coming from. But if you WERE into that kind of stuff it would be sweeeeeeet! Now excuse me, I have to show this post to my grandmother. I think she would appreciate it WITHOUT being offended.

  60. Damn. I thought everyone had seen the movie, Blue Velvet.

  61. Oh dear god, I just looked up felching. I will never ever ever be the same again. Ugh.

  62. AT LAST, a president who is just like the rest of us! or, well, um some of us. Not me, I certainly never do anything that’s not completely sanctioned by the Church.

    Although, maybe the Church sanctions fisting? Myabe I should call a priest and asked him if someone sticking a fist in someone elses bits in considered acceptable martial relations, you know, strictly hypothetically speaking…

  63. This is EXACTLY what I need to know about our president and his wife. Thank you, Jenny. You are my new Walter Cronkite.

  64. Holy crap, that lady is so going to get fired! I can’t believe that. And, yes, I know what fisting is. If you hadn’t warned me that word was involved in that clip, I would have choked when I heard it.

    Insanity.

  65. “We will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.”
    — Barack Obama, January 20, 2009

    “Or you can cram your fist up my chute and call me ‘Hussein.’ Either one.”
    — Me, just now

  66. Maybe if you’d posted about Cosby Sweater then people would have reason to be offended.

    I still haven’t forgiven the friend who sent me that link on Urban Dictionary.

  67. You have gained a new reader from me as well. I can’t believe folks are offended by this. Get over yourselves. Sex (love?) acts are just sex acts — who cares what someone does, as long as it’s consensual. Disgusted by it? Perhaps you have some introspection to do.

  68. President Obama likes to remind us of his Scottish roots. Do we know if he and the Fist Lady enjoy bagpiping?

  69. I am enjoying the outrage and thinly-veiled sexual superiority of the pearl-clutching contingent.
    I only scanned, so I could be wrong, but at least the comments haven’t devolved to thinking about the children. Perhaps because many commenters are too busy being scandalized and titillated.
    I mean, I could say a bunch of snarky things about the way that they fuck, but that would be rude, don’t you think?

  70. So does it make me normal or abnormal that I know what fisting is? Actually I was surprised that people didn’t know what it was. But then again, they were probably people like my mother who I had to explain where BFE is.

  71. That’s brilliant! Thanks for the laugh.

  72. This is why I read your blog. Seriously, you write the shit me and my girlfriends sit around talking about while drinking vodka. Or while having sunday brunch with the kids. Yeah, you’re cool like that.

  73. Oh dear god.

  74. fantasy life: yup, blue velvet works, or chasing amy, in which amy totally explains fisting, complete with how-to gestures, for the dumb straight white guy. while sitting on a swing, which is NOT okay.

  75. Yeah, my husband called me up yesterday just about cracking up over this. The radio station he listens to in the morning was replaying the audio clip about fisting randomly… fking hilarious!

  76. my sister just told me about your blog and I’ve been reading it non-stop. Never in my wildest dreams did I think there would be one place where I could read about mini sasquatch, dead hobo fingers and ninjas

    you’re like my own inappropriate story pinata

    go you!

  77. Well, there I go, subscribing to yet ANOTHER great blog! And my husband thinks I make these stories up!

    You keep writing, I’ll keep reading!

  78. I’ve never once needed any lube. Thumbs down, Mr Urban Dictionary Guy.

    Mr Lady’s last blog post..The Shakespeare May Be Pushing It Slightly, I Know.

  79. Bahahaha. I can’t even see the video at work… but no matter.

    I do not want to think about the Obamas fisting. Or anyone else, for that matter.

    I once new a girl who could shove her entire fist into her mouth. She was strangely popular. Coincidence?

    Elizabeth’s last blog post..Dear Younger, Dumber Me:

  80. At least there’s no commentary about anal beads.

    chirky’s last blog post..Keepin’ It Fresh

  81. when did “evolved” come to equate being “kinky”? I’m so confused. lol

    Rhea’s last blog post..Worming my way through

  82. I saw this video yesterday too and thought it was so funny that I emailed it to basically everyone I know. And then when I saw my mom later she was like “what’s fisting?” so then I had to explain what fisting was to my 54-year-old mother, which, when you’re 24, is a little awkward and involved a lot of “ummm”s and “vagina”s, and I don’t know what it is about fisting, but I just don’t like talking about entire fists inside vaginas or assholes to my mom.

    Bridget’s last blog post..This is pretty much the most messed up thing I’ve ever seen

  83. I got the same reaction when I tried to share the link with someone in my office.

    She goes “what’s fisting?”. FYI It’s so much more awkward in real life than on twitter.

  84. Seriously, there are only so many rocks in the world for people to hide under. Who doesn’t know what that means?

    Or maybe I should stop reading those catalogs that come in the mail.

    I saw this video yesterday and have been laughing ever since (and emailing it).

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Stones

  85. I don’t think I will ever be the same. I should have just stopped with the kitty cat genitalia.

  86. 86
    Marion in Savannah

    Highway @ 64:

    Do yopu knopw hopw top fix a kleyboard after sopmeopne has spit copffee all over it? It’s yopur fault that my kleyboard is acting all funny…

    [howling with laughter]

  87. Back when I was in college, the term came up in a conversation somehow and a professor wanted to know what it was. For some reason I was delegated to do the dirty work (no pun intended) and had to tell her what it was. She put her rounded fist into the air and said “but fists are so big!” which of course just make us laugh even harder. But then one of my classmates, a lesbian, stuck her small, narrow hand up in the air, giving sort of a queenly wave, and said “not all of them.”

  88. I am so amused by this. Thank you for sharing. Now to share this with my friends and family.

    Regina’s last blog post..Fun in the am

  89. I always snicker when someone refers to “double fisting” drinks. ew

    Happy Pie Day! Should we make it a cream pie for you?

    mrtl’s last blog post..A+ for Form

  90. Do the thumbs up and thumbs down refer to variations of the traditional fist method?? Is that some sort of poll to see how many do it each way? Hmm.

  91. Damn. I cannot compete with the comments here…

    tracey’s last blog post..Oh Please let my day get better from here….

  92. Wow, yeah. I spit my water out when I heard fisting. It’s sad that the reason I know what it is, is because my husband finds it hilarious to bring it up in every day conversation.

    Oh yeah, I talked to my boss…Grumpy Munchkin…And he said it was fine.

    Seriously? Seriously.

    JachiCue’s last blog post..Just amazing love year

  93. It would have been funnier if she had said dirty sanchez

  94. Incredible. You definitely go the extra mile to bring a smile, Miss Jenny.

    Holly Forrest’s last blog post..First of Five Days of My Leeching Off Your Big Brain

  95. My boyfriend’s cafeteria at work has something every Wednesday called “Toss Your Own Salad”. They have a banner and everything. Apparently he’s the only one who gets it. Sometimes he’ll ask the person next to him in line if they’ll toss his salad for him.

  96. So you are either psychotic or psychic…. I think you are right on target then with your earlier quote. I just think he is going to delay it a bit…

    “UPDATE 12:56pm – The CW is here now. I just got my first interview and I mentioned how awesome it would be if tomorrow Obama was all “And I’m also GAY, bitches” and then he’s the first gay President and then he get’s a sex change and he’s the first transgendered president.”

    Jenny the all seeing goddess bloggess – we your fans are truly not worthy of your insight and intellect!

  97. Holy Shit… I honestly just lost my breath from laughing so hard at that video. Who the hell is that woman? I want to smack her in the forehead and high five her all at the same time(Which is going to take some serious coordination)! It’s called “Pounding”… which doesn’t sound MUCH better now that I’ve gone and said it.

  98. so apparently i’m more evolved. hooray 🙂

  99. OH! after your done looking up fisting, you can go to your local sex store, (or almost any sex store) and get the ART BOOK that they have on fisting in the gay section, and then go and look up ‘califlower blossom’ afterwards…..and see what happens after too much fisting.

    heh. i love this blog.

  100. Oh, my God. I cannot stop laughing.

    I don’t know which is funnier, the post or the comments. Or maybe the one wet blanket who had to primly inform you that they were “cancelling their subscription”, as it were? More room for me on the comment queue!

    Also, I totally already knew what fisting and funbags were. Because I’m evolved!

    Coco’s last blog post..What Are You Reading?

  101. So, I finish up my blog post about accidental pole dancing, and then I come over here to find you’ve been posting about accidental fisting! We are, like, twins or something. I knew there was a reason I liked you.

    Mikki’s last blog post..I’m a Hater

  102. 102
    NotLeavingMyName

    Fisting is not meant for people over 40…a hand cramp during this activity can cause severe damage on so many levels.

  103. OMG too funny. That reporter is either gonna get canned or teased like FOREVER for that little slip up!

    TMWW’s last blog post..Evil Kneivel Strikes Again

  104. I love the news anchor’s awkward (anxious) laughter when the so called “love expert” brings up “fisting”.

    Your twitter updates on this yesterday completely made my day. I haven’t laughed that hard in awhile.

    Ally B’s last blog post..Female Perspective: The Gym

  105. Picturing Fox viewers turning to their mates and asking for some fisting.

    phd in yogurtry’s last blog post..beautiful boy, ugly drug

  106. Highway totally beat me to it. Not only are they into fisting, but once inside, they unclench their fists?

    Or is that an instruction? “Okay, okay, if this is going to work, you have to unclench my fist. Stop seizing up like that.”

    I’m just totally thrilled at the idea that loyal viewers of this Fox morning program are thinking, “Hmm…well if that’s how the First Family keep the home fires burning, maybe I’ll just google fisting and see what we need to try.”

    Then fifteen seconds later:

    “Oooohhh my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwd!!!”

    Oh to be a fly on every wall.

    The Critic’s last blog post..Sucks

  107. NEVER have I laughed so hard. If someone is offended by this it really makes me question WHY.

    Nannette’s last blog post..Old Enough

  108. Damn it. Am soo screwed. Just played that Fox video with kid present in kitchen. He thinks “sex” is grown-ups kissing and caused a major scandal at school last week trying to have sex with his fruit roll-up. Now I’ve just reinforced this ugly behavior. CPS is no doubt on the way.

    The Lawyer Mom’s last blog post..The Witty JP

  109. I love the glee in her voice when she says, “even fisting!” as if it’s the height of a loving relationship. I’m here to tell you: it isn’t.

    father muskrat’s last blog post..through a toddler’s lens

  110. wait I’m confused. I thought that fist-bump was declared to be a “terrorist” act on Fox last summer

    in that case, wouldn’t “fisting” be preferable, even to the pearl clutchers

    coffeejitters (Judy Haley)’s last blog post..Retail Therapy: “I’m a little teapot…”

  111. Forgive me St. Bloggess, for I have sinned by not visiting for several weeks. .. because I’m laid off n’ stuff, so no time for frivolous pursuits like fisting and web surfing much. .. but thanks. My day has been made.

    Tonight I’ll be all: “Honey, we need to try something new. I mean, the Obamas do it and everything, so you KNOW it’s all the rage!”

  112. OMG – I haven’t laughed so hard in *ages*! The post was funny and the comments are hilarious! I seriously have a side cramp from laughing so hard. I may have exploded a cancer pinata.

    Jenny – no need to worry about one ‘see ya later.’ She can wipe the santorum off of her face and get back to her Glamorous Life. I think you ROCK!

  113. You need to have a blog or something of just your twitters or something. Cause I am sleeping while you are shenaniganing. Or something.

    Or I could just look at your twitter page.

    Yeah. Whatevz.

    Viva le fisting…

    Hang on… shit, I just read the definition again and it has NOTHING to do with dancing.

    Kelley’s last blog post..I was happy. Then sad. Then happy again when the pizza came to soak up the wine.

  114. I am fairly certain that Fisting is going to be a sport in the 2012 Olympics and that it might be combined with PoleSitting for the most intense competitors.

    I am fairly certain I made this up.
    Otherwise we are all in deeper than we want to be. Wait!—that didn’t come out right either.
    Fuck. At least I’m a loyal reader.
    Or fister. Or something. . . .

  115. Funbags! Boobs, boobies, tits, titties, tatas, chichis, knockers, breasts, lady lumps, headlights, rack, jugs… ok I’ll stop…

    Brandy’s last blog post..I believe I’ve Avoided Being Morbid

  116. Didn’t see your tweet, but when I watched that video, before I read any further, I was like OH NO SHE DI-NT JUST SAY THAT! It gives me the greatest pleasure in life watching nerdy whites do crap like that. Especially since I am a nerdy white myself.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..January Greeblepix Winner!

  117. Holy fucking hell that’s funny. What I wanna know is what was she really trying to say… and how horribly embarassed she must be know

    WM’s last blog post..It was at that moment I questioned my decision to become a mom

  118. oops I meant “now”….Damn she can’t talk and I can’t type

    WM’s last blog post..It was at that moment I questioned my decision to become a mom

  119. I know what fisting is. And now that you’ve told me, I get funbags. But I am NOT looking up Extra Gravy. I did that with Dirty Sanchez.

    Vanessa’s last blog post..Weekly Roundup: Week Two

  120. “Love doctor” sounds like something you’d look up on Urban Dictionary too. As in: “I fisted that hoodrat and now I have to go see a love doctor.” Or something.

    Steve’s last blog post..Bananas

  121. I can’t believe you had to put the definition of fisting up! Hilarious. I’m not sure what it says about me that I know what fisting is, but didn’t know my boobs are called funbags. Of course mine are more like deflated-bags post baby. Not much fun there.

    Judy’s last blog post..Sandra Boynton free song download

  122. Yes, Vigina, there is a Santa Claus.

    Marinka’s last blog post..Kats! (Part 2)

  123. Oh holy shit I never saw that video. I can’t believe she said that they enjoyed fisting with a straight face. It’s like it had to be a mistake, but somehow that was actually what she meant to say.

    I heard that earlier drafts of that newscast reported that they enjoyed the Dirty Sanchez, Cleveland Steamers, Glass-Bottom Boats, Felching, and a good old Donkey Punch now and again.

    Johnny Truant’s last blog post..Unfortunately, pants

  124. I can’t believe she said that! heh heh heh

  125. P.S: I also enjoy the implication that non-fisting gays are not hip and are “living in the past.”

    Johnny Truant’s last blog post..Unfortunately, pants

  126. P.P.S: Don’t go to the following site if you’re at work or if you’re too mature to like dumb sexual humor.

    But if you’re like me, it will make you cry with mirth. My favorite is “Smurfing.”

    http://www.smileys4msn.com/cat.php?show=31

    Johnny Truant’s last blog post..Unfortunately, pants

  127. see, and i wasn’t even remotely offended. what a rip off.

  128. HAHAHA…that’s hilarious!!!! Why was this offensive to anyone????? Come on people, this is The Bloggess…you have to expect things like this from her 😉

  129. 129
    Margaret White

    fun bags = dirty pillows

  130. Fisting…it’s like getting punched in the cooch. Per my husband.

    So Not Mom-a-licious’s last blog post..Under Construction Phase 2

  131. Okay.. I’m advanced enough to know about fisting, dirty sanchez, and felching, but I totally had to look up bagpipe, Cosby sweater, Glass bottom boat, smurfing, and donkey punch. It’s totally wrong of me that I absolutely cracked up at donkey punch! LOL!!!

    By the way. Not offended either.. try again Bloggess!!

  132. you are now officially my favorite person in the whole, whole entire world.

  133. P.S. I looked up extra gravy and didn’t find anything. That offended me.

  134. Dude, some people need a good fisting, iffin they gets all offended by humor.

    flutter’s last blog post..In a sky bursting into stars

  135. OMG! I did not know this existed until tonight! This is so funny I almost peed my pants! And the comments on top of it…they even had my “I don’t care about your damn blog” husband rolling and that takes some doing!

    As for losing followers…joke ’em if they can’t take a fuck!

    And yes, I knew what fisting was…in college we had a counselor come in to our orientation class to talk to us about safe sex (AIDS was still rather a new disease then in ’89-90). Fisting was one of the unsafe methods.

    As for all the other…ahem…terms…I had to look them up and ask my husband. Sad, I know, but I am a Mom of a 3 year old, I don’t get out much anymore. LOL But I did already know what filching & tossing salad meant (don’t ask).

    I normally stalk you from my Google Reader, but I had to comment on this one. And I will be emailing this to certain friends with sick & twisted senses of humor. Which, coincidentally is ALL my friends (we’re a strange bunch)

    Shan’s last blog post..I Just Got Hit With A Bloggy Love Stick!

  136. That’s freaking awesome.

    Radish’s last blog post..#10

  137. Somehow I am comforted by the notion that there is gonna be hot, blasphemous sex going on in the White House over the next four years.

  138. sometimes I wish I watched fox news

  139. Isn’t that an FCC violation?

    Even Doctor Ruth knows what “fisting” is. That “love Doctor” is clearly a rank amateur.

    Gigi’s last blog post..

  140. Moments like these make it so rewarding to have a dirty mind. Seriously, I haven’t laughed like that since… um, since the last time I read your blog.

    Also, bonus points for me for getting the Fun Bag reference! I miss mine, they’re just Mommy Bags now.

  141. I’m pretty sure I saw Michelle Obama fisting the entire panel of The View. Who knew? It’s lesbian porn on day time tv!

    clickmom’s last blog post..Do you still have to push?

  142. Huh. Now I have to wonder if I’m just a completely dirty-minded person because I didn’t know there was a non-penetration definition of fisting…

  143. no. she. didn’t!!!

    Sissy’s last blog post..Tool

  144. Fisting? As in Terrorist Fisting? If that’s what all the Terrorists are doing no wonder they’re all angry.

    Trish’s last blog post..Social niceties

  145. love it 🙂 so, who’s the giver?

    MommyNamedApril’s last blog post..A Few Things…

  146. Somewhat easily persuaded, I decided to take the bait and look up extra gravy on Urban Dictionary, because I already knew fisting. (so 70’s) Regardless, that inquiry led me to click on the word (or acronym) fupa. All I can say is Bloggess has led me to learn things I didn’t even know I wanted to know. I don’t think we have any fupas fisting in the White House and for that, I am thankful. Beyond that I appreciate the Fox faux pas…lmao.

  147. What makes this even more funny for me is that for Christmas my husband bought my Republican Brother- in- law an “Obama Survial Kit” which is basically 3 huge tubs of vaseline! I can’t wait to make my hubby read this blog entry! He is gonna fall off his chair!

  148. Oh man if I was the interviewer I would have led that lady around in circles making her say it again and again in different ways.

    The trick would have been not cracking up every time– I don’t know that I could have made it.

    Wait till Obama reveals that in order to be a true supporter, you must fist every fellow supporter you meet. “Yes, We Did!”

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..My ridiculous rhinestone bow ’tis of thee

  149. Love it. Too funny.

    People were insulted by this?

    Geez.

    Kris’s last blog post..The Underestimated Plus/Minus

  150. Dude….you rock for catching that!! hahahahaha!!

    claudia’s last blog post..leggy hairs

  151. You can always count on the Urban Dictionary…. This is not nearly as offensive as some of your other posts…. 😛

    Haley-O’s last blog post..Two Things: BLOGGIES, ME!? and Tricks of the Cleanse Trade

  152. hahahahaha this is so hilarious! I even know what fisting is and I could be reasonably called a sheltered person. I love when people think they’re using the right slang term and it comes off so so so much worse.

    When I was in college (Bible college, no less) a friend told us at dinner that one of our guy friends had just “Fingered” her in line for dinner. We all were howling laughing while she grew more confused. Eventually we figured out she meant he gave her the finger as she waited in line for dinner. Not the other thing…

  153. Yeah, they had a good time laughing at that quote on “The Soup”. Sounds like the newswoman couldn’t help but laugh too 🙂

    TomSmith’s last blog post..Toto S300 Jasmin Washlet Bidet

  154. Urbandictionary.com is one of the many things I do at work all day along with read your blog…

    p.s. look up what “gorilla woman” means on urban dictionary-

    yeah my whole office is still laughing about that one…

  155. You’re going to get some interesting hits from Google.

  156. Totally hilarious. I’m definitely sharing this with my husband. (The post, not fisting.)

  157. This may be the funniest post ever.

    Kyla’s last blog post..Well, that’s one way to wake me up.

  158. […] I kind of wrote about this on twitter already Posted by Jenny the bloggess under Post that people who don’t twitter won’t get, Random […]

  159. How are you so relevant to my life at all times? I just went looking for a copy of the original Willy Wonka because some asshole stole mine in college. It is by far my favorite movie on earth. (However I waited 4 years to go looking for another one.)
    AND
    I just had a conversation about “fisting” yesterday and it has now become an inside joke with my co-workers. Congrats. You’re on the inside.
    Wait! Ew. I didn’t mean like that. Crap. I guess any convo about fisting can never really end well.
    I apologize.
    P.s. kittens suck. Get back to all the offensive and random crap we love.

  160. DUDE! You’re right! We totally ARE friends! See, I knew what fisting AND funbags meant already. Yeah, uh-huh…I’m feelin’ it.

    We are SO in cahoots…

    😉

    AJ in Nashville’s last blog post..Seven Things You Never Knew About Me

  161. I think if I was in Justin’s position I would either die from a brain aneurysm or totally wet my pants.

    David’s last blog post..Blogger on Blogger Action!

  162. […] News Biscuit’s Countryside Alliance furious at ban on badger fisting and The Bloggess’ I kind of wrote about this on twitter already so technically this is a re-run but you probably still…, also about […]

  163. […] really, I don’t want to have to deal with explaining fisting to my […]

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