Did you know that you can break the Coinstar machine if you put in a bunch of random stuff? Also, today I’ve taken 12 prescription pills, including the chemo drug that causes the cancer that I don’t have yet and it’s actually making me feel much better but incredibly groggy so I can’t even think of something appropriate to write for you to comment on. Hence, the comments are completely open for anything. Deep confessions, words you don’t like, what animal you wish would go extinct next, which weird-looking celebrities you would sleep with if you had the chance…go wild, y’all.
Comment of the day: Okay, seriously?! I give you nothing and you give me 400 comments. I can’t possibly choose just one comment for comment of the day so I’m going to have to create an entire post from these comments because you people are fucked up in the most beautiful way. Comments are still open if you still want in.
YOU! Is that a good answer?
Except you’re not weird looking.
Petra a.k.a. The Wise (Young) Mommy’s last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts: Lonely Hearts Edition
I don’t know if they know what they are missing if they won’t pay for Guy Kawasaki’s head. What in the hell is this world coming to Coin Star?
Domestic extraordinaire’s last blog post..Tuesday’s Top Ten-The Awareness Edition
“dangling participles”… I don’t like the sound of that. It just… just… it makes me giggle and think of things I might find in a porn-gear mag.
jennyonthespot’s last blog post..Make Me Laugh Monday – Gotta Love Kids
Jesus I knew I was easy but even Coinstar has higher standards then I do. This is not helping my self esteem.
I’ve never liked the word “panties.” Or “belly.”
And I’ve always been a little bit in love with Crispin Glover, ever since “Back to the Future.”
Why won’t Coinstar take Canadian coins? Our currency is perfectly legal tender!
kendall’s last blog post..Adventures in Medical Malpractice
Holy mother of God, I had to read that twice cause there was no mention of kittens or zombies or nuffin.
Seriously chick, you need to see my Dr Darlink. She hands the good stuff under the counter that makes icecream taste freaking AMAZING.
I’ve taken 7 percocet since 10 am, and my ex-husband hated the word ‘Moist”.
Okay – seriously: How the hell do you break a piece off a half dollar? Great. As if I don’t already have enough shit in my life to obsess over. Now this??
Lesley’s last blog post..Updated (Sort Of): The Most Boring Post You Will Ever Read – Despite The Gigantic Puppet Spiders And The Fact That Someone Took Out My Eyeball
I like romantic comedies.
I dont like many of the words for penis. I do, however, like buffalo ahot and package. The magical tinygoat of Greene County
The Jonas brothers. Just for the story.
I used to want to sleep with this super artsy guy in high school named Ray Salvatore. I think he probably still doesn’t shower and maybe he’ll be at the reunion.
Armadillos are the animal I want extinct next.
Somewhere in the distance, there’s a shimmering light — a light that leads to a forgotten realm of angel-hair pasta and Honey-Nut Clusters known only as “Andyland”…
…oh, wait, did I pick up *yer* scrips by mistake this week?…
Andrew Ironwood’s last blog post..Incantation/Decantation
i dont like the word “delicious”. i dont care how its used. dont like it
I wish the PR species would go extinct, especially the ones with red hair.
Okay, Will… I don’t think I’ve EVER heard a penis get called Magical tinygoat of Greene County. Are there pictures?
Sayre’s last blog post..I’m hosting Fun Monday for March 9th!
You know what pisses me off though? Stoopid head commentluv don’t like me no more, I think I need to blame Google. Or Feedburner. Or next doors toddler cause OMG GIVE THAT CHILD A FREAKING COOKIE ALREADY I CAN’T STAND THE SCREAMING! I think my meds are wearing off. I will set a couple aside for you Jen. The velocoraptor wearing a banana bra has them in his purse. A heads up in case I am sleeping on the hallway floor again.
At least all those wigs will come in handy now?
(I’m a bad person, aren’t I.)
Maggie, dammit’s last blog post..Moorings
1) I judge people based on what’s in their grocery carts at the checkout.
2) “Normalcy” pisses me off. I mean, that’s why we’ve got “normality.”
3) I wish pandas would go extinct next, as they are useless animals. Their only defense mechanism is being fat and cute, and that’s what we have Beanie Babies for.
4) I want to have Seth Rogan’s babies.
The End.
PS-Feel better.
MonsteRawr’s last blog post..Rawring at Cancer
I totally have a thing for Mark Wahlberg.
Miss Grace’s last blog post..A lesson in high school self-esteem
I’m down for spiders being the next endangered species, followed by snakes, and then I think I could safely traipse through a rainforest somewhere with my camera. Also, I hate the word “cunt”. But I think most women do.
Lisa Walsh’s last blog post..1…100…Who’s Counting?
Ninjas are the animal I would like extinct next, because how can you even catch them when they’re so effin’ sneaky and you’re still on your chemo meds?
Also, I hate the word belly.
Because it sounds gross.
And tummy.
Call it your stomach, for pete’s sake.
Abby’s last blog post..This isn’t okay.
I hate the words, “I’ve run out of prescription pills” and I’d like to confess to a desire for a soon-to-be-extinct, weird-looking celebrity animal, but I can’t think of one.
the-paris-site’s last blog post..Square Root Day
There is nothing wrong with Canadian quarters. You people are all racist freaks. Or something. Um … yeah … 😉
Momma Trish’s last blog post..Random Thursday Thoughts
I just ate my first salami sandwich.
It is shit.
It can die and be extinct. What the fuck kind of animal creates a penis shaped meat like this http://gourmeton.com/cold-cuts/volpi-g.jpg that is so fucking awesome you want to eat it? Like, WHO MAKES THAT. I don’t like giving blowjobs, what makes THAT appealing?
That sandwich is shit. Mostly because I want another one and I can’t tell you why.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
And I have a thing for the other Mark Wahlberg, you know, the one who hosted Temptation Island (hides head).
Jodi – Mom’s Favorite Stuff’s last blog post..Is Facebook Changing the Definition of Friend?
I’m a little jealous that you’re handing out drugs to everyone else who reads this blog. Except for MonsteRawr, because we’re going to be fighting over Seth Rogan apparently. Idol’s back on. I have to go.
Ambry’s last blog post..Just Two Lost Souls…
I feel old when I say the word soup.
And I strongly dislike, mediocre.
Because I’m so very much the embodiment of that ugly word.
Embodiment kind of sucks too. It makes me think of entombment and then they both seem unnecessary because of the existence of zombies.
I’m only on one prescription pill and this makes perfect sense.
betsey’s last blog post..Satan Speaks, I Listen
if the tuna fish becomes extinct, will vaginas stop smelling like them?
shauna’s last blog post..thank you jesus
Today I heard Gary Cooper’s name on the radio and, for two seconds, I saw Gary Coleman’s face instead. I was very confused.
Also: this pepper is a little shocking:
http://twitpic.com/1tvnz
Veronica’s last blog post..You Killed My Bird. That’s Right. I Mean You.
I hate when people say “Ex-squeeze me” and then laugh like idiots. Which they are.
Fairly Odd Mother’s last blog post..My (not very) big, fat Greek Wannabees
First, I hate the word testicle. It’s too close to “tonsil” and when I mistakenly said than my right testicle was sore–when I meant tonsil–in a moment of verbal dyslexia, it was particularly uncool. Of course the fact that they’re also called “testes” might explain what’s wrong with most men I’ve met/slept with. Parenthetically, I do like the word cunt. I’ve happily owned it since first seeing the Vagina Monologues. I like using it for men, however, since they most often inspire it.
Second, I want wife beaters and pedophiles to go extinct. Like, yesterday. Last year even.
Third, I want to have hot, wild, noisy monkey sex with Ron Perlman. Can’t really explain that one other than I like my men rare large and a bit on the freaky/dangerous side. And he certainly owned that description in Blade II.
I have always liked the word “sluice”. I think it’s my favorite word. My favorite word used to be “salubrious”, but I now associate that with an ex-boyfriend.
Oh, and your second sentence is run on sentence. You need a comma before the word “and”.
this is prob going to gross so many ppl out, but i have a thing for comedians (or anyone who makes me laugh a lot), so i’m sure you can imagine the number of funny looking guys in my repretoire… chris rock, jon stewart, andy from “the office”, LMAO.
I’m about to mix wine with Xanax.
I also don’t like the C word, but that’s another comment.
Dijea’s last blog post..I really need my computer back.
You know the lint filter in your dryer sometimes gets some weird looking fuzz? Coinstar has one but fuzz is the LEAST of it’s worries; I watched a guy pulling bullets out of one once. They were mixed in with a bunch of Canadian coins and other crap (No offense Canada; you _are_ America’s hat!!)
I wish the T-Rex was extinct but I’d sleep with her first.
Deanj’s last blog post..
Wouldn’t a drug that causes cancer HAVE to make you feel better in order to get you to actually take it?? I mean, if it made you feel even worse than before you wouldn’t take it, and risk the side effects like fatigue and hair loss and oh, I don’t know, maybe DEATH FROM CANCER, unless you felt like rainbows and lollipops and unicorns and fluffy little kittens after you took it. Unless it gave you giant labia in which you could hold apples in which case…. nevermind….
I hate the words brewery and rural, but mostly because when I try to say them I feel like that retarded deaf boy down the street.
I really like the world sprinkler. It’s just fun to say.
I would happily have booty-call non-committal wild sex with David Boreneaz (currently playing Seeley Booth on ‘Bones’) because that guy is SCHEXAY — homina homina.
Animal to go extinct? Paula Abdul. Although technically I think she’s not really in the animal category so much as the alien category.
Pete Wentz. Is that weird to say? It feels weird. I’m sooo not into the whole, punk rock, emo, eyelinered guy thing. I’m actually really put off by it normally. It’s totally isolated to Pete. I’m also not into short guys, at alllll. I feel weird that I shared this but damnnnnn.
Kimmers’s last blog post..I just typed a whole fucking post, and then Typepad quit and I lost it. And then I REALLY lost it.
Weird-looking celeb I’d let touch my lady bits? Hmm … some say he’s not much, but he’s a bag of hotness to me. I would break his back in 2 places!
I’d name him, but he reads your blog. Sorry.
Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..First Time
I think nothing makes you look more like a loser than standing at the coinstar machine with your clown head bank and your sock full of pennies. Not that I have a clown head bank and I find it difficult to walk with a sock full of pennies.
Chris O’s last blog post..Coincidence or Conspiracy?
I wanna preface this by saying that I am on muscle relaxers at the moment and therefore cannot be held responsibubble for coming over here with v-dog, kaiseralex, sam temptingmama and flingers to hijack your comments. we love you.
i forgot the questions already. brb.
Do you ever get Rice Krispy joints? That’s when they go “snap, crackle, pop” when you roll over in the night. My personal favorite.
Mahala’s last blog post..Chilly Toes and Catching Up
WTF, Karen? WAY TO GIVE IT AWAY. Jackass.
(I’d like to say I’m on WINE. Totally legal portions, too)
(In most small countries)
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I’m going to have to wash back some Xanax with some Corbett Canyon cracker wine to be funny. brb.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I AM NOT A JACKASS, BETCH.
fuck, i forgot the questions again.
OMG seriously Karen? Why did you pull me in on this? I dunno what’s going on. You can be such a cunt sometimes. ::snort::
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
P.S.
I only call people i love jackass
I’m like, Hey, Babe, I mean JACKASS
I lurve you JACKASS
Jacky For short
Because I love so much the jackass
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
My understanding is that most people who read Teh Bloggess don’t like the word CUNT.
SAM. COUGH.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Yesterday it snowed 10 inches – our only “big” storm this winter – and since my husband had insisted we didn’t need a shovel in New Jersey, I had to clear the driveway with a broom. 10 inches. Broom. It took forever.
Celeb sex? Hugh Laurie, a.k.a Dr. House. I’d let him take a cold stethoscope to me anytime.
Malibu Niki’s last blog post..why worry when it’s warm over here?
i just sang the opening theme song to Dog the Bounty Hunter to Daren.
AM HIGH.
shit, i forgot the questions again.
Hold on. I need to get some beers to wet me pallate. Plate? Plattes? There’s two right?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I think Jenny is the kind of awesome who will enjoy a good jackoff …. highoff … highjack ….
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I like the word/contraction y’all, though I’m not Southern. Unless you count “Southern Hemispherern”, which probably isn’t a word… because it’s two.
I put it in the same group as saying “da” with a russian accent, instead of yes. Only people think I’m saying “duh!” and being rude, when really I’m just trying to bring some varied Culture into the conversation.
dun duh duh dun dun
VEGETABLE GARDEN!!!
dun duh duh dun dun
dun dun dun dun
CORN!!!!
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Sam is high?
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
i would give a dirty hooker oral for a sipper of baileys right now. alas, everything in this town is closed and there are no hookers. i guess i’m off the dirty hook.
what were those fucking questions again?
Bolivia exports more brazil nuts then Brazil.
Would you eat the jellybeans if you had a cat that pooped jellybeans?
What would you want extinct Karen. I said Salami. God you’re a horrid student.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
OR, also, who you’d fuck. I think. I forget.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
what do i want extinct? pedophiles. they are sick animals.
Karen’s the one that’s high. Muscle relaxants and all.
I just needed a drink. Gosh *say that all Napoleon Dynamite like*
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Salami vs. a pedophile. Now I look like a shmuck.
Although they both are penises. Peni?
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
what were the other qeustions…all i can think about is ozzy osbourne singing the opening to bounty hunter.
Can it really be a hijack if she asked for it??
Deep Thoughts with VDog and Room 704…
I’m pretty sure this is what Jenny had in mind when she said, “GO WILD Y’ALL!”
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Wait there’s a question. I didn’t study. *wrining hands* OMFG. I can’t fail. I’ve already been berated by my WiiFit coach tonight. I can’t take anymore!!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
or weird looking celeb i would sleep with? the dude from the CIBC commercial up here. he has that whole Edward Cullen/Ray Liotta piercing stare but there’s something really weird about him. Like really weird. Still, I’d hit it.
I wish PETA would go extinct. Except for when they make ads showing the only acceptable fur.
Oh and quite glad to read that you’re wasted 🙂
I just read something about a cold stethoscope and my nipples cut glass.
Shit. Who is Karen again?
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Have you guys heard of the book *CUNT*? My sister @al_pal LOVES it and she said it’s like, reclaiming the word and stuff.
And that, CUNT is like, REALLY POWERFUL.
We should TOTALLY take back the word cunt JUST like we’ve taken back the word Bitch/bitches.
And like I’m trying to take back Cracker. Just sayin’.
*wrining hands* Sam. HAHAHA.
Welcome to the party, bitch.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Karen, I’d totally hit it too. He’s fuckin’ HOT. I thought I was the only one that thought that!! *squeeeee* I knew there was a reason I loved you and not just that you throw the word cunt aroud so freely.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Have you seen this shit yet?!
http://tinyurl.com/btx8sm
AmyAnne’s last blog post..A Little About Nothing and Sheets and Vodka
Maybe if Coin Star teamed up with Onstar, people would need to insert coins to press the superious blue button. If you’re in an accident, you’d need to insert a quarter to get the cops to the scene. An ambulance? That’ll be fifty cents.
Sprite’s Keeper’s last blog post..It’s Tuesday, It’s Random, You Should Expect It Now
The platypus needs to DIE! Honestly? Extinction would be doing it a favor. It’s obviously a very fucked up animal.
Also?
I cut my labia with a razor.
I don’t think John Stuart counts as weird looking, does he? I’d hump him.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I used to have a crush on Tom Brokaw.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I kinda love the word CUNT too. I’ve always said it. It makes me laugh, even though there’s really nothing that funny about CUNT. The word’s just a little funny – especially when you say it over and over… kinda like porridge. Say that ten times and it starts to sound like it’s wrong…
Porridge and cunt… Um…. I don’t like where this is going…
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Dammit Jenny get some threaded comments up in this joint, yo.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
OH, ya, good one! UVULA. It’s too close to VULVA. I’m always like, “Oh, my VULVA is sore. I mean, that thing that hangs between my tonsils…”
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Know what’s better than CUNT?
CUNT
wait for it…
BAG
CUNTBAG
porridge? pleh. porridge, porridge, porridge.
nope sam. just you. and stay away from unknown cibc dude.
Apparently, I did not read the directions properly…was I supposed to take meth before reading the comments and leaving one? Because anyone who would do Seth Rogan is clearly high. Same goes for Hugh Laurie. Eew!
I do agree that the word panties should be abolished…except for its use as a derogatory descriptor for some of my coworkers.
BTW, have you seen the movie Igor? I think you may have designed an inspirational poster used in the movie…and yes, it involves dead kittens. And yes, I bought a movie with dead kittens for my two year old.
Masochistic tendencies, I fall for kick-ass chicks (or ass-kicking chicks).
River Tam gets me hot and bothered (any girl who can stick to the ceiling does that to me)….
Young Werther’s last blog post..Livin’ down under
I started to write a random comment here to join in the fun, and ended up liking it as a new post for my own blog. Thanks for the inspiration. I’ve had the block lately. You unstuck me.
I am off to polish the turd that came out. You’re the sweetest.
Ryan’s last blog post..WEEK 22
I like a. Funny shit.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
@ a – I would ride Hugh Laurie like a trick pony. Especially if he had Baileys.
so jenny, because of you, i read that blog on Pride, Prejudice and Zombies. I laughed really hard and sent it to my Lit professor who happens to HATE Jane Austen. He emails me back and tells me it’s perfect for his honors english class on adaptations next semester, and he went ahead and ordered his copy.
And you think you can’t make a difference in this world. I <3 u. Feel better soon!! 🙂
Gillian’s last blog post..Making Lemonade
Another good one?
WHOREJOB
Hehe, Ryan said, “Unstuck”
It’s the wine, isn’t it?
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
There needs to be a breathalizer for leaving comments on here apparently. flinger… cough.
Betsey’s last blog post..Satan Speaks, I Listen
I’m going to hell…around here, instead of swearing in front of the kids, I say things like “FARTSUCKER!” and “HOLYGODFARTS!”
I think the word panties rocks. I tend to call them underpants though. Panties is sexy and HOT. Except sometimes I even call my husband’s boxershorts panties. That ain’t as hot.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
@Betsy.. WHuuuudidIdo?
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I hate the words “spore” and “moist.” Gaaaag
Kayla’s last blog post..On Un-Becoming a Hermit
I’d like:
Brad Pitt (I know, played OUT, but still HAWT)(and I’ll take Angelina at the same time, thankyouverymuch)(what?? it’s a FANTASY)(let a girl have some fun!)(GEEZ!)
Michael Vartan
Um, I think I’m good.
@Betsy – ummmm some of us are on drugs. Get it straight, sweetheart.
😉
(totally kidding)
Brad pitt is NOT funny loooking.
She didn’t say HOT men. Christ, Vdog. CATCHUP.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I’m down with the word cunt. It’s all good.
However.
The word CLIT just skeeves me right on the fuck out.
Damn Jenny, hope these comments don’t get emailed to you one by one.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
@Betsy, yaya, we’re playin’ with ya. XO
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I hate the word “the.” It’s fucking EVERYWHERE.
Where is this question!?
Do I fail as a good commentator when I don’t read the post first?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I thought we were doing whatever we wanted?? Heh.
I’d totally do @Neilochka.
Ha. Hahahaha. Ha.
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
@kayla I had a friend that hated the word Moist, too. I don’t get that one. MOIST. MOIST.
Yea, you’re right. It’s nasy.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
teh is the new THE.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
@Dawn — I wanna flick your clit, baby.
#snort
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The The
I hate the word labia… makes me feel funny down there.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I’m speechless after comment # 102.
Who the fuck does The think he is?? Gettin all up in our biznass and shit.
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
@VDog you’re gonna have to give me a lot more likker… licker …. lickher…. liquor in that case.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I too hate the word “panties”…but even more so the word “saliva” ::shudders::
Dani’s last blog post..The counter-argument for the claim that good ideas come to you in the shower…
I think 102 totally rocked us all off our boats. TEH INTERNET is kinda speechless now.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
TWEET THAT, BITCH!
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I think it’s funny that moist, panties, and saliva can all go together to come together.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
102 made me feel queasy. I dunno what to say now… I mean. Um… What the FUCKING FUCK!?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
(Jenny is currently regretting opening comments)
(Jenny is drinking much wine reading her email)
(Jenny turns off computer because FORTHELOVEOFALLTHATISHOLY)
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I have a hard time with the word cheese. Especially in reference to panties, and moist.
I also have issues with tissues.
and pantyliners.
Karen said hard time.
Oh, wait, that’s not the same as hardon.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
@Karen Ya. cheese, moist, panties are not a great cmobo… well, not that I know from experience or anything.
OMG. *runs from computer*
I really really don’t!!!! Srsly. I mean..
WHO SAID THAT?!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
So – let’s vote –
#102 or any woman in the world? Who would you pick?
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
“foreskin”
Sam Sam Sam, this is a safe warm place to come and be welcome for you who are.
It’s not like ONE OF TEH MOST POPULAR BLOGS OR ANYTHING.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
@Dawn – anyone woman in the world?
Heidi Klum Fo Sho. That bitch is FUNNY and HOT. I bet she’s kinky too.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
safe, warm. you’re asking for another yeast infection, shetbag.
I’m way too obvious with “Angelina Jolie” I mean.
God, get a personality.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Safe and warm. Ew.
I feel funny down there.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I need a shower.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
“safe warm place to come” Did you just call Jenny’s blog a pussy?
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
*confused* You wanna do Beth?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
i need a good old fashioned vinegar and water in a squirt bottle clean out after this filthy convo.
@Dawn
SNORT THAT.
OMG.
(Sorry, Jenny. Your blog is NOT a pussy. unless it wants to be)
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Bwahahahahaha @Dawn. OMFG. HILARIOUS!!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Hey, maybe with all these comment hits, you’ll make like TWELVE dollars this month from BlogHer!
(Not a reflection of your traffic. Cough COUGH)
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I don’t like INCONTINENCE
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
People who start blogs and then abandon them as if they were defective rowboats that they have just let drift away. Sad. Though I am against violence, I think they should be shot.
The Medievalist’s last blog post..On the ellipsis…
I hate it when strangers talk to my baby. SHE SMILES WHEN SHE FARTS TOO! DUMBASS! I don’t like religion. Any of them. It makes me really uncomfortable when people say ” bless you.” I wish bunnys were extict. I would sleep with Hugh Laurie, Bill Pullman, and Katie Sackoff ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
I just started reading your blog and…….just……thank you.
I’d take a bow, but I’m pretty sure one of you bitches would goose me.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Did someone say DOUCHE?
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
134 comments within like an hour of posting? I’m totally intimidated and bow down to the greatness and brilliance that belongs to The Bloggess, who even strung out on drugs manages to get more comments than about 3/4 of the blogging world.
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Tuesday Trivia: Advertising
know what i don’t like? when people type in all caps. it gives me insane anxiety, like i’m being screamed at. so in response i’ve taken to writing in all non-caps, and all though it makes me look uneducated, it soothes my soul.
best of luck with the anti-cancer/cancer chemo pill.
that’s cuz as her friends, we are supporting by ALSO being on drugs. it’s fun.
CUNTWAD
see related: cheese, moist, panties
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
@Victoria! gross!
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Oh VDog wins.
:: shrugs :: I was #26. I dunno what happened.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
wait wait.
ASSCHUNKS
Damn. The Biggest Loser made me cry.
Now who’s the biggest loser, bitch?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Also, Victoria wins teh Internet.
See also: Rawkstar who properly uses “see also” in a comment.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
How the hell do you get 145 comment in less than an hour? Do people just wait outside your house to see your posting beacon?
Libby’s last blog post..Morning News: Harder Than It Looks
ASSCHUNKS
See related: roughage, shart, skid marks
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Mike says “PUSS INFECTED CUM BUBBLE” that makes me gag and barf in my mouth each time I hear it.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
bwahahaha everyone ignored my asschunks
awww vdog was all over my asschunks. fanks, sugar.
OK, this is getting Nas-TAY.
Dude. let’s go back to Cunt, Moist, Cheese, And Labia. Please?!
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I’d be glad to have ppl ignore ASSCHUNKS that shit is sick, yo.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
HOLYGODFARTS Sam! BLARGH!
so uhhh how many syllables are in hemorrhoid?
I’ve heard people say it with 2 or 3.
Me? I say 7.
@sam we used to use “cum sucking sewer slut”
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
My husband’s cell was washed with the laundrythe other day and now it’s spontaneiously vibrating in the kitchen. Maybe I should take advantage while I can??
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
hemmies can #suckit
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
git er done, Samjuice.
@sam oh yes, yes, yes, YES, YESYESYESYESYES you should!
unrelated. hem-roid. 2 syllables.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
i believe it’s git er dunn
How the FUCK do you get 7 syllables in hemorrhoid?
I say “Hem – ROIDS”
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
seriously?? It’s not hem-er-roids?
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
or for all ya’ll who don’t pronounce H it would be em-roid. but you should go to ell if you say tat.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
It’s STILL vibrating.
It’s possessed.
Be right back *wink*
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
omg git er done is CANADIAN spelling. You’re lucky there’s no U in it.
Sam is riding the Nokia and screaming VDog’s name.
gut ur doune?
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
bwagagagaga lmfao @karen, ms sugahpantz
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Flingers is a quitter. She left because Starbucks took her time away. Now she has to go home to the family.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
RANDOM: I can’t wait till I’m really old and have dentures. How cool to have NO TEETH.
That phone is STILL vibrating.
It’s totally fucked.
Or it’s GOING to be 😉
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Also? kik is SUPER COOL.
Same with ;p;
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I heard Starbucks kicked Flinger out for being drunk and whipping off her shirt and bra to show off her tits to the other customers. They were okay with the tit but were scared she was going to show her tat next.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
She was loitering again – looking for “work” and they had enough and cut her internet. I think Mr. Flingers called and told them she had to be home…
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
i bet with no teeth i’d get more work. *wink*
3 worst words in the English language:
1. Naughty
2. Moist
3. Panties
::emoticon::
Mama Bee’s last blog post..Heartbreak Hotel
flingers is gonna get mean bob to knock out her teeth so she can ‘work’ longer at starbucks.
I have a confession: I am TOTALLY hot for Gordon Ramsay. I would let him spank me with his penis, right across my face.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
omg sam GET IN LINE. that guy is tres hawt.
But MamaBee, if you put those words all together? That’s HAWT!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
flaccid or hard?
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Hard. Knock my teeth out so I can get work with Flingers at her Starbucks.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
okay thebloggess.com is the new twitter. you hear that young start-up investors in cali? THE BLOGGESS is where it’s at.
P.S. That fuckin’ cellphone is still vibrating. Nothing will make it stop!! I’m a little scared of it.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
OMFG Sam wins with comment #185
Mr. Sugarpants is taking photos of Ms. Sugarpants … or of Gordon Ramsey’s hard penis…. or of Sam working the Starbux.
SEO? You’re welcome.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I’m totally hot for Alton Brown.
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I LOVE Alton. i would love to give him cunnilingus – considering he has a vagina and all.
Did someone say Pussy?
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I dunno this Alton of who you speak, but if Sugarpants would lick him then I would lick him too. I think.
*googling*
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Your comment section is like a mini-Twitter.
I can’t think of any words I don’t like.
There are some Twitterers that I follow that I wish I could make-out with. Probably not the real people, because, you know, I don’t even know what they look like, really. But I imagine them as cool and hip and hot, with their funny jokes and sexy “I can’t really see your face” avatars – like the boys in high school who didn’t like me because I was just way too eager and peppy. And they never, ever return my @replies. So I guess I just want to make out with their avatars. Which would be hard.
Plus, I’m married.
Memoirgirl’s last blog post..You Can Move Forward With Me, But You’ll Have to Travel Light.
poontang.
Sam’s bringing the mutha fuckin ONE-EIGHT-SEVEN!!
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Nuh Uh. I ain’t licking that. He definitely looks like he’s a pussy.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
omg 194 – i drop people who don’t @ back.
booty call
VDog: Does Jenny know you’ve broken into her stash too? OMFG you’re HIGH.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
@memoirgirl I would always reply to your @s.
Which should … sounds llike ass in my head … but I mean aTs.
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
I have to pee.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I’m also wearing my confidence wig.
I ate a Fibre1 bar today before I did my WiiFit and well, DON’T DO THAT.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
I have a confidence wig too. On Le Vagine.
YOU SAID FIBRE!!!
@Dawn:
Thanks! I just looked at your blog but didn’t see a twitter link. Do you have one? My twitter id is my name on this blog.
Not like you need to be a follower. Damn. I just sounded eager and peppy again!
Memoirgirl’s last blog post..You Can Move Forward With Me, But You’ll Have to Travel Light.
OMG SAM – TMI
I smell a Canadian.
What? All of a sudden farts are TMI. HELLO? Have you not been here the last HOUR!?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Karen S.:
Its a game. Plus these boys with kissable avatars are just so fucking funny.
Or I’m reliving high school.
Memoirgirl’s last blog post..You Can Move Forward With Me, But You’ll Have to Travel Light.
oh i thought of more words i don’t like. “raging gum infection” and “egg drop soup diarrhea.”
“I smell a Canadian.”
OMG DYING. Tears streaming down my face…
ABCESS
*shudder*
Oh here’s one for Sam: BOTFLY.
(do not search for that on youtube)
Ew. Abcesses are gross.
They remind me of botflies and bot fly removals.
Mezmorizing and EW!
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
So fucked that we posted that at the same time.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Have you seen The Sixth Sense?
i smell canadian people. they’re everywhere.
Canadians stink.
Dirrrrty fuckers.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
No weird looking sleeping companions for me even if they are celebrities. I have my standards.
And a husband.
I have a husband, thus other “sleeping” companions are not necessary.
annie’s last blog post..My Influences
Well. Played.
I just had two glasses of my favorite red wine, so to open up for comments, it a bit scary….. and I can’t help but notice the misspelling of “perscription.” 😉
I LOVE peanut butter. With most anything.
And, I’ve totally razzdoodleded the shit out of Coinstar machines.
I have a husband, but I also have *fantasies* too.
(fantasy = not real)
has anyone said willie nelson, or billybob thornton? i’m just wondering or maybe those two fall under the category of ‘celebrities that look homeless.”
see also: amy winehouse
see also: Stephen Baldwin
GARY BUSEY.
P.S. That phone is STILL buzzing.
Anyone know an exorcist?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
NICK NOLTE
Bwahahahaha Karen.
Nick Nolte
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Nick Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.
Mickey Rourke
VDog’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
No sloppy seconds. You can have Nick Nolte @VDog
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
“michael j fox WITH parkinsons” but i can’t, i can’t. seriously – imagine the vibration tho. it’d be like a marky mark concert.
oh hai, i”m going to hell.
wait, are we supposed to be FANTASIZING about THEM???
Karen Sugarpants confessed: Michael J Fox WITH parkinsons… seriously – imagine the vibration. it’d be like a marky mark concert.
Bwahahahahahaha 😉
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Whenever I listen to the soundtrack from the movie Evita, I cry for Argentina.
I would like to have sex with most celebrities except I draw the line at Pauly Shore and CarrotTop. Mostly because I am not gay and they’re guys also.
I wouldn’t have sex with them if I was serving a life sentence for murder and hadn’t had sex for 35 years and they were wearing wigs and had shaved their legs and we had argued and it was time to make up.
Did you mean sex with Extinct Celebrities?
Perhaps I misunderstood the assignment.
Would we have to excavate the remains first?
I am not so sure of my ardor under such circumstance, and it is always slightly uncomfortable to lie with the famous…
I know that there is a God because I am It although I do suffer from low self esteem.
Thus,
I will never wave to people wearing only bandanas even if I do want them to like me.
Okay Celebrity Blender: Amy Winehouse & Pete Doherty.
*don’t cry for me, argen-tinaaaaaaa*
Um… Joe Pesci? He’s short – about crotch height?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Jamba Juice, anyone?
Conan O’Brien. (Celebrity)
Moist (Word I don’t like.. also, webinar)
I wish the Pillsbury Doughboy would become extinct. he scares me.
I am also afraid of Jello (confession).
Kinda rushed I know but this is what I get for being late to the party.
Amy’s last blog post..I have had nothing to say
I crave a mango lassi. YUM
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
P.S. Phone STILL buzzing. WTF?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..You Never Know What You Have Until It’s Gone
Snort.
all I can say is – WTF at this whole comment section. Wow.
Oh, and I agree. Gordon Ramsay is totally hawt and he can spank me hard with anything he chooses…. unless it’s like a real side of beef or scallops or something, because that might be a little gross.
Oh and Hugh Laurie is fucking hawt too. I’d do him and he wouldn’t even have to pay me. I’d pay him…. lots.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Intervention
I hate the word “canoodle” – it’s just gross.
Gretchen’s last blog post..Intervention
I’ll canoodle you, baby.
Snort.
OMG canoodle causes me to seize..
I also hate cunning, precious, and any Britishism spoken by a non British person. (i.e. American’s who say ‘lift’ for elevator)
peckish.
delectable.
ugh ugh ugh
Amy’s last blog post..I have had nothing to say
Also people who pluralize things by making them possessive.
:::;sigh:::
Americans, I meant Americans .. not American’s.
Amy’s last blog post..I have had nothing to say
could not stop laughing at the personal touch!! the guykawasaki’s head!!!
” Kimmers says:
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:52 pm
Pete Wentz. Is that weird to say? It feels weird. I’m sooo not into the whole, punk rock, emo, eyelinered guy thing. I’m actually really put off by it normally. It’s totally isolated to Pete. I’m also not into short guys, at alllll. I feel weird that I shared this but damnnnnn.”
That IS weird to say. I’m actually horrified. You MUST be Ashley Simpson, right? Right? RIGHT? PLEASE!
VDog – right back atcha! :o)
Gretchen’s last blog post..Intervention
Every time I hear the word “moist” I think of the Eddie Murphy grandma character in The Nutty Professor, “Only White man that ever made me moist!” LOL LOL LOL!!!!! I crack up just thinking about it.
Shoegirl’s last blog post..New skirt! Houston for March
Wow. Talk about weird celebrities I would sleep with. I have had more than one dream that I was sleeping with Dan Conner (John Goodman) and being so worried that Rosanne would catch us! What ever happend to dreaming about Kevin Bacon or Mel Gibson? John Goodman? In my dreams!
Enchanted’s last blog post..Time saving
I love the word moist! I really love it when I can get my sisters to bust out laughing at the dinner table when I use said word to refer to my cake. I had the work flaky when people refer to their fish, I love the work flaky when people use it to me.
Josh’s last blog post..The Mystery of the Scapegoat Design
Totally Kevin james, I love the snugglyness (is too a word shut up!) of him in King of Queens and then as Paul Blart, I came out of the theater going “Oh yeah, I’d do him”.
Adrienne’s last blog post..Pay It Forward
Gordon Ramsey does not count on this because there is nothing weird about him, he is PERFECTION! ::sigh::
Adrienne’s last blog post..Pay It Forward
Chowder. Just say it: CHOWDER. sick.
Oh dear god. You “phone it in” (WHILE ON MEDICATION) and you get 260 gagillion billion comments in like 14 minutes. I bleed over a post for six days and I GET 12. (But shout out to my loyal 12 readers I TOTALLY LOVE YOU GUYS!!)
Damn you, Jenny The Bloggess!!
(P.S. Back to that half dollar thing: I thought half dollars were silver? DID YOU BITE THAT PIECE OUT WITH YOUR TEETH?) (Oh dear god – did I mention the “oh dear god” yet??)
Lesley’s last blog post..Updated (Sort Of): The Most Boring Post You Will Ever Read – Despite The Gigantic Puppet Spiders And The Fact That Someone Took Out My Eyeball
I want to have dirty dirty lovin in the back of a Prius with Leonardo DiCaprio (really I would prefer a Lexus but I hear he only has sex in hybrids).
Hannah’s last blog post..OMG OMG OMG
I REALLY dislike the words “puberty” and “hump”. Thank you for allowing me to say that publicly. Also, yesterdays post made me pee myself.
i hate the word ‘moist’. it’s just… ugh.
Gem’s last blog post..Wednesday Wishes
I had a lot to say but it looks like everyone’s already said it for me. Thanks a lot for not letting me having any part of the sharing, asshats.
Jessica (Hey Lola)’s last blog post..I’m pretty sure he said no to the laser light show because he’s jealous of my immortality.
Comment #267 seems an appropriate place to ask Jenny Bloggess, addled on chemo drugs, whether she think sI should stay with CFO partner type person. Because I JUST DON’T KNOW. I suppose that comes under the confession part.
I would totally sleep with the Dutch 50 yo bureaucrat who came to my office to give us a really boring talk about legal procedure yesterday. Which is both confession and weird looking ‘celebrity’ (in the world of european legal tedium).
Weird enough?
Jaywalker’s last blog post..Small, slightly pathetic acts of rebellion
Can you do a post about naked pics of Rachael Ray? Or, better yet, do you have any to post?
~EdT.
Ed T.’s last blog post..Something flowery for Wordless Wednesday
I have nothing to add. I don’t like adults who can’t spell.
It pisses me off that the dog’s ears stink.
And that he won’t let anyone else but me clean them.
Which I do at midnight, because really, who wants to sleep with an adoring 120 lb bag of brown fur who smells like toenails?
daysgoby’s last blog post..things I have learned this morning
“words you don’t like, what animal you wish would go extinct next, which weird-looking celebrities you would sleep with if you had the chance”
The answer to all three:
Dooce
I hope you feel better Jenny! 🙁
Peggy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
I don’t like the word pus or what it is.
I would sleep with Bud Cort from “Harold and Maude”, but only when he was at the age he was during that movie. Now he’s really creepy.
I think mosquitos should be extinct.
Holy. Crap.
Okay, first of all, I love you people. Secondly, many of you need help. I hope you never get it. You are far more fascinating in your brokenness.
These comments were so completely fucked up I may have to make an entire post out of them. Pure. awesomeness.
I hate the word “fart.” And I would lick Hugh Laurie in a nanosecond. I think he would taste like a warm scone. With cream.
I love the word Cunt. I say it when I am pissed and I say it when I am excited, OMG! I am excited right now…
I love to see a mans face when your pissed and you call them cunts…priceless…
Also, I would fuck John Stewart, not because it would be great or even good, but because I would tell ALL my friends and they would be like ” OMG! you fucked John Stewart!” That is of course, if I had any friends…
I have a phobia of mayonnaise, I hate the word “moist”, I want centipedes to die and I would totally do Geoffrey Rush (even all pirated-up…hell, especially if he’s all pirated-up).
Kate’s last blog post..Fun with hypochondria!
It is now morning and I have to say:
@Gretchen – You are my kind of peeps
and Just A. Reader FTMFW!!!!
This was the perfect thing to read during coffee.
🙂
Dawn – Room 704’s last blog post..Boozeday – Long Island Iced Tea
Last night I had a dream that I bumped into my ex on the streets of New York City while I was in the middle of a scavenger hunt and we started having a heart-felt conversation about our new lives and I asked him how things were with his girlfriend and he responded, “not good, man. She peed the bed last weekend and my parents walked in and found us in a bed covered in pee.” And I was like “Well, that’s definitely not good, but I really hope you can work through that.” But he was very pessimistic. I wouldn’t want to date a peer either though.
Bridget’s last blog post..Now I’m totally not allowed to watch TV unsupervised
Love this.
Jake Spurlock’s last blog post..Greatest Car Review Ever.
My last blog post was about a condom with teeth. But not in a fun way. For anybody.
feathermaye’s last blog post..Intimate Defenses – Revisited
I hate the words prego, preggers…any shortened form of the word pregnant.
I spent about 5 minutes this morning thinking about how I would categorize the supernatural books I read in terms of quality. Top honors go to Kim Harrison’s Rachel Morgan series and Patricia Brigg’s Mercedes Thompson series. Although I haven’t read the latest books in either series, so that may change. I’m el cheapo now – no buying hardcover books.
I probably haven’t shaved my legs in two or three weeks. It’s almost at a point where I could style it. I thought I’d share with you all because I feel like you all might be the type of people to understand.
gingela5’s last blog post..Poop and Turkey, This is my Life…
Words I hate: I used to hate the words cunt and twat, but I got over it by yelling them at other drivers. The word pus is disgusting, but it could be the visual that I hate more than the word. I hate when people talk about poop. Or snot. Gross. I hate
Animals I wish would go extinct: Paris Hilton
Weird-Looking celebrity I’d sleep with: The guy who plays Dexter – Michael C. Hall. The more I see him, the sexier he gets.
I’d do Gordon Ramsey so I could call him a wanker, and Rachel Ray looks like she could use a good grudge-fuck.
Steve Buscemi. That’s the weird looking celebrity I’d sleep with.
Don’t ask. I have no clue why.
Mama Dawg’s last blog post..That White Fluffy Stuff
Words i love: Caulk, so many possibilities!
Animals: the feral cat who keeps pissing on my storefront
Weird Celebrity: Kevin Spacey (he is hot And Weird looking)
ps: i think I don’t like the word feral either
pps: I would totally do Gordon Ramsey too
I’m sleeping with my husband’s best friend
How in goodness did you break half a piece of a half-dollar? That’s some mad strength.
Anyway, I don’t like the word “octomom.” If I have to hear that word one more time I’m going to scream. Or die a little on the inside. One or the other.
Veronica (comment #28) it’s called a peter pepper and my mother grows them. She hands them out to unsuspecting people to see their reactions…
THIS is why Jenny and I have such odd lunch conversations… It’s my mother’s fault! I could go on, but won’t.
For the record I hate the word ‘pussy’ it make’s me cringe to hear people say it.
Snakes should be extinct, something that can move without legs IS NOT NORMAL!
ROFLMAO – #213, I read ” Plus these boys with kissable avatars are just so fucking funny”
AS
Plus these boys with kissable VIBRATORS are just so fucking funny!
Jeez, you people are nuts. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I hate people who can’t pronounce the word “realtor”. Real-tor. Not Re-La-Tor. Dumbasses.
I hate the word Panties also. I didn’t used to hate the word Moist, but I kind of do now. And I used to hate the word Cunt, but I kind of don’t now.
I hate those stupid teenager text abbreviations – LOL, OMG, LMAO, and all that. And emoticons.
I would totally bang David Boreanaz (Mmmmm Special Agent Seeley Booth) and Gordon Ramsey (I love a man who can swear like that. He has a gift). Although neither of them is weird looking. So I don’t know if that falls within your strict commenting rules or not.
Stay strong, Bloggess. The world needs frank discussions about giant, flapping labia that you can roll up like a sleeping bag.
My least favorite words, by the way, would be “giant,” “flapping,” and “labia,” at least when used together. Eeeeeeeeewwwwww.
But seriously, don’t let the arthritis get you down too much. Hopefully they’ll be able to figure out what pills are good for you, and hopefully those pills will have a high street value.
My fabulously gay friend Drew cringes and wriggles like a little school girl everytime he hears the word ‘moist.’
After reading the first sentence in Mahala’s comment (# 41 – do you ever get Rice Krispy Joints…) I’m all “Dude – they MAKE that? I wonder if it works” and then I read the rest of her comment (That’s when they go “snap, crackle, pop” when you roll over in the night….). But I still think Rice Krispy joints would be OK. Especially if you can use like, some sort of sugar paper to roll them, and some melted marshmallow to seal it and maybe sprinkle some chocolate shavings over the kirspies before you roll that shit.
Deb, I’m with you on your whole post. Realtor and the text stuff; Christ on a cracker, just spell it out!! David Boreanz qualifies since he was a little weird-looking as a vampire; Booth is a million times hotter than Angel. Love the Cocky belt buckle.
I hate people who don’t know the difference between Lose (to misplace) and Loose (like the easy girl in high school).
I HATE when people say “coolio!”
it makes me want to stick my heel through their temple.
…great word of the moment: hole… i like all the variations… suck hole, a-hole, crap bag rancid screw hole. I like that it’s very build-able.
Lia’s last blog post..Let’s Get Pierced! Ya! Wait, What did I say!??
I have rice krispy joints. They “snap, crackle, pop” all the time, not just at night. After ten years on muscle relaxers, they don’t even make me sleepy, let alone high. Liquid percoset tastes like cough syrup, but it’s pretty good for the pain, and the buzz it gives you is better than the pills any day.
coinstar is still way cooler than Sinistar
furiousBall’s last blog post..(one of)my kick ass cousin(s)
I hated losing the loose girl in high school.
Jenny – I will never seek help on purpose. 😛
Just so you had a round three hundred here…
The Bloggess rocks my socks. If she has a penis I’d let her use it to knock my teeth out so I could get work with Flingers at the Starbucks.
Just sayin’.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..Beware: I Am a Debbie Downer
Okay, you ready for this? I’m in the middle of a red hot affair with my boss. He’s married. And, oh yeah, I’m not his wife.
I hate the word “whatever.” There’s really never a time when someone saying “whatever” to you is a good thing. It’s too ambiguous. (P.S. New favorite word: Ambiguous).
Bats totally creep me the f out and should be annihilated from the universe.
And finally…Tommy Lee Jones is freakin’ HOTT! He turns me on in a geriatric bad-ass kind of way!
P.S. I haven’t taken any prescription drugs yet today, but maybe I should borrow some of yours.
if she HAS a penis? that’s a question, Sam? Fuck.
Dammit Karen. Always stealing my thunder!
*I* was supposed to be 300. How do you keep doing this to me!? Shetbag.
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..Beware: I Am a Debbie Downer
She could haz a penis. How well do YOU know The Bloggess? HUH?
sam {temptingmama}’s last blog post..Beware: I Am a Debbie Downer
well i’ve talked to her on the phone. course i DID have to call a 1-900 number. and my phone bill had some weird charges…wait a minute…
I love that I pass out, go to bed, wake up and YOU PEOPLE ARE STILL GOING FUCKING NUTS.
God I love you bitches.
Jenny, you don’t have a penis. If you did I’d be married to you.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Coinstar took all of my coins, seven dollars and twenty six cents worth, then it took the last remaining shred of my self-respect.
Damn you Coinstar.
307 comments? Geez, I don’t know if I should even bother commenting. It’s like standing in a crowd shouting, “I love you, Hannah Montana!” Granted, it would be a really young, short crowd. And I’d probably get arrested as a pedophile, but you get my point.
So where the hell did you get a broken half-dollar? And where did you find a Susan B Anthony coin? I thought all those turds were melted down to make parts for computers. You know, Susan B looks a lot like Jimmy Carter. I’ve always wondered if it was his way of putting his own face on a coin and disguising is as him just being a total puss.
Memphis Steve’s last blog post..Tagged for a Meme – Stranded on a Deserted Island
Also, since it’s 10:26 AM and I’m totally sober (never drink before 10:28AM. It’s bad juju) clearly I’m just as nuts sober as I am drunk.
Which, is, you know, something I really want to brag about.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
I’ve never left a comment before because you scare me, but I had to this time because my boyfriend and I were JUST talking about weird-looking celebrities last night, and he totally almost broke up with me after I confessed that I’d like to have a threesome with Sid Haig and Kathy Bates.
#295 Samantha – I hear you on lose and looser.
Also hate the word “Chill-ax”
Also, I’m straight, but forgot to mention I would totally do Sarah Shahi. That girl is smokin’. When she left The L Word for Life, I was saddened that we would never see her naked again. Because if anyone should be naked full-time, it’s her.
gotta stop now, hubby’s lurking about…
I am in my mid-30’s, is enjoying cereal taboo?
I went home for lunch to have a gigantic bowl of Frosted Flakes, it was like eating crunchy bits of heaven.
And #296 (Lia)
Who says “Coolio” anyway? That is a word that shouldn’t be allowed to be a word.
Totally wish Monkeys would go extinct (hello, woman missing half her face cause some other freak let a chimp sleep in her bed?? Did he groom her twat hair too? Sick fuck.).
Completely would bang Clint Eastwood – now, OR when he was Dirty Harry – doesnt matter – he’s hot. Sam Elliot too. Since Seth Rogen is apparently already fathering children on this bitch! Jizz is not a good word, but its better than cum. I think that being toothless would RULE when giving head. These are my disjointed thoughts.
I have the bladder of a pregnant woman. That is not to say I have the actual bladder of a pregnant woman, but one with roughly the same capacity. And probably urethra too but I don’t have any specific metrics on that.
This wouldn’t be so distressing if I were pregnant. Or at least a girl. or didn’t drink so much coffee.
Alas.
peace|dewde
dewde’s last blog post..Am I A Husband Or A Project?
cats should be the next ones on the list. sometimes they can be assholes.
Georgetteq’s last blog post..Quaterlife Crisis
I LOVE YOU HANNAH MONTANA!
georgetteq – sometimes? cats are total assholes all of the times. they should totally be the next animal to be extinct. but, if that does happen, i guess that means I’ll have to switch to orange “beef” instead of “chicken” when I order take-out.
That last outburst was in reply to Memphis Steve, by the way. I’m not at all implying that I would like to sleep with the weird-looking celebrity Hannah Montana, though I am marginally convinced she has a penis. Her tranny voice is very similar to my impression of a tranny. See also: problems at the Canadian Border. Saying you’re going to a women’s conference in a tranny voice at the border does not go over well. Trust me.
Words I hate – doable. It’s ACHIEVABLE, you fucking retards! (Not you guys) And definately. Get a dickshunary, FFS!
Next animal I’d like to go extinct – Gordon Fugly Ramsay.
Weird looking sleb I’d sleep with – Beth Ditto. She’s definately doable.
Mr Farty’s last blog post..WTF?
Karen, of COURSE we know you’d know about speaking in a tranny voice.
helloooo.
Also, you do a very great Indian Man impression. So great, in fact, that I SWEAR I accidentally dialed tech support for the PC instead of your number.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Veddy Veddy Good.
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
Girthy = hands-down, worst word of all time. The phrase “moist panties” doesn’t quite do it for me either.
I’m totally in love with Chris Hanson from Dateline NBC. He makes me blush when he quotes the AIM conversations that that preditor’s had with the decoys. He’s all “sit on my face” and I’m all “hehehehehehe!”
carolinemichelle’s last blog post..This is why I’m fat, this is why I’m fat, this is why, this is why, this is why I’m fat…
I never thought that Steve Martin was all that sexy… until I had a hot, sex dream about him! Whodathunkit?
Stacy Quarty’s last blog post..Bloggy Bits- The Weight of Your Word
Favorite word ever:
FUCKYUNS.
amo’s last blog post..…and leave the key under the mat too.
Yeah, Coin Star also won’t take Chucky Cheese tokens, which really pisses me off. Like, seriously? Why do they only have value in the magical world of bad entertainment? Whatev.
I kinda wanna sleep with Sean Penn. Like, I’m not sure if he’s into guys, but he DID play a pretty convincing homoslice in ‘Milk’. And once I got him into bed I’d be all, ‘So I’m totally a better lay than Madonna, aren’t I? Admit it.’
Ooh! Or maybe David Duchovny! He’s a sex addict, right? I’d dress up like an alien if he asked me to.
Michael’s last blog post..I’m much better at taking things apart
There’s this commercial where the woman says ‘Real-Tor’….it creeps me the fuck out. Then I try to say it “the right way” and feel like I need to scrub my tongue with a sandy loofah, but I get mad because I Can’t say it that way and I don’t want to offend a Real-Tor…
I would totally do Hugh Laurie, Dr. McKay from Stargate Atlantis..
I also have strange hot crushes on guys who do children’s shows. Steve from Blue’s Clues, ALL of the Imagination Movers…
Is there a support group for that? Cuz, I might need it..
Kendra’s last blog post..Monday’s Inquiring Minds (a day late)
U know the “Harold and Kumar” movies? ..
I wanna DO Kumar soooo freakin bad it almost hurts. It kinda freaks me out a little
Wow, this comments section is more entertaining than Twitter. Like, a LOT more.
Memphis Steve’s last blog post..Tagged for a Meme – Stranded on a Deserted Island
Bloggess is the new Twitter, Memphis Steve. Check it.
Gawd I hate when people say check it. It makes them sound like douches.
Karen, it’s funny you mention “douche” because: http://tinyurl.com/d7wynm
Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Denial.
poor Gordon Ramsey he would be one busy angry toothless bastard. I am so glad FebRuary is over because nobody says it right. There is an R for Christ sakes ! Coinstar sounds so fun we totally need that here in Canada
habanerogal’s last blog post..Bullet Time Tuesday Vaginalogues
we have coinstar at loblaws, superstore and no frills. 🙂
@habanerogal Do you really say it with an R? I know its there…I just can’t be bothered with forcing my mouth to say it that way…like real-tor.
God..I sound like a horrible hick.
Yet, I am the girl that argued with her English teacher that Often should definately have the T sound in it. She swore that the proper way to say it was Offen. Gah.
Kendra’s last blog post..Monday’s Inquiring Minds (a day late)
which weird-looking celebrities you would sleep with if you had the chance…
Weird-looking? Bob Hoskins. He’s got a good build overall, plus I think he’d really pay attention the whole time and get the job done right.
Or maybe that woman from the Progressive.com commercials. It’s like, you’d be right in the thick of things (so to speak), and she’d randomly say something hilarious. I would appreciate that.
Except I’m a big homo. So I guess it’s Bob Hoskins, then.
Evn’s last blog post..You still have your testicles. Now let go of them.
Ok, I knew I was in trouble when The Bloggess herself said to “go wild” with the comments…but wow guys…just wow.
Confession: I need a better doctor ’cause I do not seem to be gettin’ the good shit like y’all. All I get is stinking Xanex. And I am just as crazy as the next Bloggess reader. Trust me
Word I hate: Dookey…I had a friend who’s mom named her dog Dookey. That is worse than calling the poor animal Shit.
Celeb odd-ball that I would screw: Dave Navarro…scrub all the make-up off and strip him out’o those fishnets and OH BABY! Ok, maybe I could deal with the fishnets but I can’t sleep with a man that will leave lipstick rings on my nipples. If it’s a chick, well that’s diff.
ps. Jenny you can give me lipstick rings if ya want. K bye
Tamarin asks:
Would you eat the jellybeans if you had a cat that pooped jellybeans?
Heck, I eat stuff that comes out of a chicken vagina every morning! Chicken vagina, cat’s ass – viva la difference!
And my local Korean restaurant serves dog now! I have proof!
Sharkey!’s last blog post..Lost in Translation
The best advice my mother ever gave me was to marry an ugly man, because he’ll treat you better. Evn’s right about Bob Hoskins; now there’s a man who’ll try harder to please you than he will to please himself. Dave Navarro is super hot (the only man in makeup I’ve ever found attractive), but I think he’d be selfish in bed.
When I get mad around my toddler and want to curse, I say “poop on a stick”. I guess that’s kind of like a shitty corn dog.
I hate when people say “supposably”. I also hate the words “fecal”, “gonads”, and “penis”.
Weird celebrity I’d do? Hugh Laurie. And he better use his British accent while talking dirty to me. He can bring a cane too if he wants. Okay, he better bring the cane.
I’d also do John Stewart but I totally wouldn’t admit that I actually did it. And then I would wish he was extinct.
I used to have a job that entailed cleaning out coin machines and you know what I found?
teeth. Human teeth. In a coin machine.
bekah’s last blog post..A Heated Debate
There’s absolutely no blog in the world that can gather as many comments as yours.
And for the record, I confess that I was once locked of a gym locker room in my bra and panties. And they weren’t cute.
As for a weird looking celebrity, it used to be Tom Selleck until I saw him on TV the other night and he looks like a used up alcoholic now. So much for that fantasy.
BTW I can’t read THAT many comments for goddsakes.
Oh Mah Gah
chicken vagina might be the funniest thing ever
This afternoon I was trying to talk my husband into reading The Bloggess and trying to expain about the giant flapping labia. It did not go well.
BUT, I did forward him the Kitten Mitten segment, which he thought was hilarious. I will win him over, Jenny. This I vow.
SMEGMA.
I love the word smegma!
Most people don’t know what it means.
My world would have been complete if only you’d used smegma one time in conjunction with the giant labia…
Dude, I like how the comments gone wild has lead to 338, well 339 with mine, of pure fucking random jargon. Loves it, loves it, loves it!
shonda’s last blog post..Did You Say Pet Rock or Pet Mock, as in this kid is totally mocking me with that rock he’s carrying
You should say “crap on a crap cracker” instead.
i’m bulimic which is horrifying and so guilt-inducing when you (and lots of other people) have a Real health issue; i’m totally head over heels in love with my ex who has, at this point, totally screwed me over twice; i have erotic dreams about Bud Cort from Harold and Maude ALL THE EFFING TIME (cheers to the commenter above); and sometimes when i find someone really really annoying, i want to – how explicit are we allowed to be in the comments? – i want to become intimately involved with their labia (or equivalent) and induce in them lots and lots of pleasure.
Holy eleventythousand comments batman!
The word I hate is … moist.
I mean … moist panties? eich.
Anni’s last blog post..On life … make your own adventure …
I fantasies about having a threesome with George Clooney and Catherine Zita Jones.
I fear the next animal to become extinct is the human.
A huge labia would ruin a track career.
Pardon Me?’s last blog post..If none of this is coherent blame it on lack of sleep…yours or mine.
I totally read that, ‘crap on a cracker’ and got confused for a second.
VDog’s last blog post..VDog’s Crackertastic Wednesday Giveaway
Okay here’s a stupid question. WTF is Coinstar? Can you break it with a giant labia?
WineWonkette’s last blog post..Please Don’t Spill Burgundy on My Brassier
Coinstar is a machine you use to dump all your coins into and it give you back dollars. Then they take a portion of your money. It’s for poor but lazy people. Sadly, we use it quite often.
This woman is a comment-generating machine! In the words of an Italian chef “fresh offa da botta”:
“She could serve up monkey ass and empty clam shell and people would still come to her site and comment.”
~EdT.
Ed T.’s last blog post..Reading Aloud is a Pain to the AAS
I think I have the answer for how to reverse the stock market’s downward spiral. Simply have The Bloggess ring the opening bell, and give a speech. Folks who want to comment have to buy stock first. The market’ll hit 15,000 in a matter of HOURS!
Before it collapses like a Stanford-Madoff Ponzi scheme.
~EdT.
Ed T.’s last blog post..Things I did last weekend
I’m not at all implying that I would like to sleep with the weird-looking celebrity Hannah Montana, though I am marginally convinced she has a penis.
For the longest time, I thought Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus were sisters. And then one day at work I said something like, “I wonder if Billy Ray Cyrus is resentful that both of his daughters are outshining him,” and my assistant was all, “Both of his daughters?” And I was like, “Yeah, you know, Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana Cyrus.” And he went, “Oh for fuck’s sake…” and explained the situation to me.
I would not have sex with Billy Ray Cyrus, by the way. I mean, maybe if I was drunk and Garth Brooks was ignoring me or something, but I think sex with Billy Ray Cyrus would be awkward, like he’d want to talk dirty, but he’d be really bad at it and keep referencing his career, i.e. “I’m gonna achy break your sweet ass, boy.”
I was a normal person until I started reading this blog. Honest.
Evn’s last blog post..The Other Side of the Deck
Did any of you ever see an old playboy movie about a girl who had creamed corn rubbed all over her body by mulitple random men, an indian, a guy in a suit, etc…?
I saw it more than 15 years ago and I still fantasize about random men rubbing creamed corn all over my body. I have never looked at creamed corn the same…
Check it, Coinstar people. All you have to do is take your giant sack of change to an actual bank, and they will put it in thier machine and give you real money WITHOUT taking a cut. We did this a few months ago and got $600.
Also, thing I like : bacon
Creamed corn : ew
I’m a nasty B***h…
Creamed Corn is Sexy…
When I was young, I fantasized about shrinking boys down to 4 inches tall and then giving them a guided docent tour of my naked body.
Do you think sexual fantasies would have gone a more creative, art-film route like this if porn hadn’t gotten in the way?
Steam me up, kid’s last blog post..Now I just need a comment pimp
# 313 – I am in my mid-30’s, is enjoying cereal taboo?–
I read this as cerebral tattoo.
Other weird looking celebrities I’d have sex with:
JK Simmons
Ed Harris
Lyle Lovett
Steve Earle
amy’s last blog post..I have had nothing to say
THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTY-NINE COMMENTS???
Honestly though, if you don’t get at least 400, I’m going to consider this post a total failure.
Lesley’s last blog post..Updated (Sort Of): The Most Boring Post You Will Ever Read – Despite The Gigantic Puppet Spiders And The Fact That Someone Took Out My Eyeball
I would so do Sean Connery, but only if he didn’t have smegma.
Who the hell is Guy Kawasaki?
Jenny, are you doing him?
I know I’m late to the party but I need to publicly state that I will not be happy until my face is printed on a button, too. Guy Kawasaki can keep all the web fame and bright green motorcycles but I *need* kellie-head buttons.
kellie’s last blog post..It’s Fishstick Day!!
I would so do Sean Connery
So would my mother. I wish she’d stop talking about it at dinner parties.
Evn’s last blog post..The Other Side of the Deck
Confession: I just read all of those damn comments.
All guy’s junk should be refered to as “JUNK”. (“Guy” as in “Dude/Man/Dick Owner”, not “Kawasaki”)
I would stand in line to lick Hugh.
I’ve refered to the bloggess in blog posts and IRL.
I hate that WTF and IRL and OMFG are part of my vocab.
Amber Mc’s last blog post..Because my home is not cluttered enough
After pondering the great wisdom in this comments thread (far more reliable than Wikipedia, imo), it has become evident that in order to leverage my weird-looking-ness into palpable sexual attraction, I must first become a celebrity (preferably one who has a hit TV show and speaks with an American accent even though he is British).
Therefore, please watch for my new hit TV show, “Bungalow,” about a cranky, weird-looking doctor who is British but uses an American accent in order to sound particularly cranky when telling the other hospital staff how stupid they are. Did I mention he walks with a limp?
Uhm, if your $$ is wet, Coinstar hates that too. I sort-of shut down the machine that way once. Many glares later, they fixed it.
I forgot this part! “weird-looking celebrities you would sleep with if you had the chance”
Johnny Depp
Nicholas Cage
Keanu Reeves
Olivier Martinez
Shoegirl’s last blog post..Weird Fears and Random Stuff
Shoegirl, the only one of the three that could conceivably be considered weird-looking is Nick Cage. The other three are undeniebly hot, even though I still see Keanu Reeves as Bill. Or Ted. I can never remember which one he was, but he was smoking hot when I was 13 and he’s slightly-less smoking but still hot now.
I would bang the shit out of Guy Kawasaki. He’s not weird looking though, unless you think Asians look funny. I have a thing for Asian men. He actually looks a lot like my husband, so that really doesn’t count because it would probably be like having sex with my Guy Kawasaki looking husband.
So, my offical answer is Denis Leary. He’s totally weird looking and not Asain and I bet he can bring the thunder in bed.
ZDub’s last blog post..Rigby Alfred Poodlesworth
over 370 comments. WTF?? until i noticed that it’s like the same four people. y’all rock.
i love the word suck, mostly because it rhymes with another of my favorite words and it makes my mom crazy.
and i hate the word slacks. they are pants dammit. pants.
Shawna’s last blog post..Top Ten Books from 2008
@zdub you did NOT just call Denis Leary weird looking!! He is so hot, he makes me moist! Ha ha – I got moist in there, no not “moist “in” there – shit. Anyways, he’s mine so back off – as for the thunder, OMG I agree!
ps doing my part to make 400…
I once had a dream I was the queen of the Cheerio kingdom while I was on meds, so:
a) Enjoy your drugs
b) The littlest cheerio is a nark
c) Share with the coinstar machine. It may be holding out on taking the best bits from between your couch cushions cause it knows you have the happy pills.
Drug companies need to come up with a custom blend pill for people. So you only have to gag down one pill a day. Maybe it’s big, but it’s only one. Which is actually what my husband said to me on our wedding night. Ba-dum-da-dum!
Lotta’s last blog post..Character, Culture, Citizenship Guides – On Ebay!
The word “moist” and I just do not get along. Even though I used it in my last post.
But that post made me feel all wierd inside so…
So just got busted by the hubby for my last comment! But I busted him cheating on me with Jon Stewart so….
“moist” has nothing on “ointment”. That word is an abomination.
Also: Benicio Del Toro. Raaawr!
kellie’s last blog post..It’s Fishstick Day!!
Howzabout words we loooove? I get a giggle from testicular, which BTW is in the spellchecker on Flock. Doesn’t have common words nine times out of ten but testicular? Anywho, it just sounds funny and not even its frequently pairing with known downer cancer can stop me! I just pray no one I care about tells me they have testicular cancer. “Oh, Bob (which BTW, gets a titter too), snicker, that is just so, tee hee, terrible!”
baal’s last blog post..
(Through some glitch, the comment window held on tow hat I wrote and I can’t waste it! However, just so people don’t get bored reading the same thing twice I ran it through Babel Fish [http://babelfish.yahoo.com/translate_txt]to turn it into bad Italian)
Howzabout li esprime loooove? Ottengo una risatina da testicolare, che il BTW è nel correttore sulla moltitudine. Doesn’ la t ha parole del terreno comunale nove volte su dieci ma testicolari? Anywho, suona appena divertente e non neppure il relativo frequentemente accoppiamento con il cancro conosciuto del tranquillante può arrestarlo! Prego appena nessuno la cura di I circa mi dice che hanno cancro testicolare. ” Oh, Bob (che il BTW, ottiene ad un titter ugualmente), snicker, che è appena così, hee del T, terribile!
baal’s last blog post..
just to clarify, we have no cable (so f’n rural) so we watch the next night on the web.
I’d just like to say that I completely agree with everything everyone has said here. What is it we’re talking about again? Here’s to the post-modern blog! A blog about nothing. Someone should write a dissertation about this. Or a blog. A blog about blogging about nothing. I need to go to bed. Thank you.