My readers are occasionally more fucked up than me and that’s why I love them so damn much

So yesterday I was writing a SexIs column about weird looking guys I would do and I could only come up with like 10 so I asked people on twitter which strange-looking guys they think are hot and holy shit, y’all. Like, at first it was all “I’m slightly attracted to Mickey Rooney” and “I’d date Ron Perlman” and within minutes it turned into this:



And that’s why my sex column today is officially more safe for work than this post.  I don’t even know how that happened.

Comment of the day: Danny Trejo. And Grace Jones. And The Predator. I’m going to marry The Predator. He’s going to have to get used to apartment living though ’cause I’m not moving to the jungle. ~ Sawing on a Jawbone

140 replies. read them below or add one

  1. It’s Mr. T for me.

    Writer Dad’s last blog post..The Classroom is Only a Baseline

  2. Brendan Gleeson (took his fall in “In Bruges” like a man!) and Ray Winstone (big man on campus in “King Arthur”) are 2 hot ass older men.

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Just A Little Giggle

  3. Nobody said Steve Carell? That’s bogus.

  4. I’d so share in the greasy abracadabra Rickman.

    Brandy’s last blog post..Being Prepared

  5. Aerosmith. I’d do Aerosmith.

    emvandee’s last blog post..Rape Whistle Dog Attack? Make Pad Thai.

  6. ROFL! Wow. Just wow. People have very creative sexual minds. How exactly does a monkey ride an elephant? The Lil Wayne comment about made me throw up because I’m sure it’s true. Bleh! Now I have to go read today’s sex post you sex pots!

    So Not Mom-a-licious’s last blog post..Welcome back to the daily grind

  7. I originally was going to answer Russell Brand but I don’t think that is all that odd…or maybe it is…who knows. But then I remembered my huge crush as a teenager on Richard Moll…go figure?!

    melistress’s last blog post..Mother

  8. Dear Internal Filter: Thank you so much for not letting me get freaky about Charlie Rose in response to Jenny’s tweet yesterday. Love you.

    lettergirl’s last blog post..Craziest Thing Ever

  9. Me, I want a piece of Andy Samberg. Is that weird? I want his “I’m On a Boat” persona, so I can wear his nautical themed pashmina afghan during.

  10. Wow. I always thought dan rather was sorta hot

    fiona’s last blog post..Big Announcement ~ Help Us Name Our Show ~ Rock Your Vote!

  11. It’s Kenny Chesney for me, but he would so totally have to keep the hat on!!!! I’m just sayin’…

    Amazing Greis’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Stretching…

  12. Philip Seymour Hoffman in ‘Happiness.’ Professor Snape. And T-Pain. I guess therapy isn’t working.

  13. We’re guys. We’re all weird looking in our own way.

    always home and uncool’s last blog post..It’s Only a Paper Moon

  14. What if I thought my facebook look alike was hot, would that make me gay or is that masturbation?

    furiousBall’s last blog post..if IE were a fat kid in gym class, I’d be soooo hoping for dodge ball day so I could peg it in the nuts as many times as possible

  15. I would probably have to agree with Domestic Spaz: Steve Carell. Or, helloooo??? Rob Schneider!!!

    Danielle-lee’s last blog post..The Power of the Mommy hormone

  16. I’m with melistress on the Russel Brand but I’d have to add in Noel Fielding with that also and Eddie Izzard. Nothin like some complicated, silly Brits to make you wanna shag.

  17. MIne’s Gil Grissom. Not really sure why–considering he’s probably old enough to be my grandfather but hey the heart does not lie! haha

    gingela5’s last blog post..Trapped in the Closet…

  18. “A monkey on an elephant”
    That image will stay with me forever. I can just imagine a tiny little monkey humping furiously at an elephant’s back. The real question: would the elephant even notice? Or does the elephant know that he’s a pity fuck and just take what he can get?

  19. Um. Weird I know. But Billy Crudup. Jason Lee.

    Wait, that’s NOT weird? Okay, the kid from Almost Famous. Patrick Fugit.

    Miss Rosa’s last blog post..Toupee Thursday

  20. Ok – thank you for planting this seed in my brain because I had the most explicitly disturbing dream last night of Dennis Farina.


  21. Um. Alton Brown. From Good Eats. Maybe Rick Steves from those travel videos. Can’t believe I just typed that and am about to publish it for the Whole Damn Internet to see. Oh well. Alton or Rick, if you read the Bloggess, gimme a call, okay?

  22. Gingela5 said ” Gil Grissom” from CSI. Oh, yes. In a heartbeat. Brooding, intelligent, dark. Any day. Also, the star from “Life”. He’s strange, but “sexy ugly” (from Kissing Jessica Stein).


  23. Whoa, the Lil’ Wayne one is…oh…yuck…and maybe accurate.

    But I’ll second the Philip Seymour Hoffman…he’s hot any day.

    Kristine’s last blog post..And the Gifts Start Pouring In

  24. How about that guy that works down at the 7-11?

  25. Steve Buscemi!! I agree on Russell Brand too.

  26. Um, hello–Tony Soprano. At his fattest, in his most threadbare wifebeater.

    Maggie’s last blog post..

  27. Too bad Dumbledore is gay. Duh.

    Also, Maxie loves Lil Wayne so much. She’s a brave soul for even thinking of touching him!

  28. Hey if Alton Brown cuts it as “weird”, then Mike Holmes:

    I even bought my husband a pair of those overalls AND a wifebeater (thanks Maggie, for the reminder…mmm… undershirt…), said “wear this”. Then I took a picture of him with his arms crossed, pooching out his biceps. It’s for when he’s working. On the house. True story. You don’t get it here. Maybe someday I’ll post it. Someday when he’s not looking.

    harmzie’s last blog post..A Lot of Wining, a Little Dining

  29. When we were in high school we used to play a game like this, name the grossest celebrity you’d do just because they were a celebrity. My trump card was always Bushwick Bill.

    Devil’s Daughter-in-Law’s last blog post..And Speaking of Racists – Chapter Three

  30. Jeff Goldblum.

  31. 31

    Ew. That movie “Happiness” scared the crap out of me and I still can’t look at some of the people in it. It totally had that Ned Beatty in “Deliverance” affect on me.

  32. I’m not sure why Johnny Depp is funny lookin as Captain Sparrow but considered assumably do-able as Willy Wonka. I think the Wonka persona is more disturbing and would thus be more of the category weirdlookingguysiwouldstillhavesexwith, and less…
    Ooh, I totally would do Johnny Depp as Edward Scissor-Hands. um… sorry can no longer finish my original thought, have wonderful fantasy going on now…

    One Reader’s last blog post..Flowers, Casa & Hair

  33. I’ll second both Alton Brown and Eddie Izzard.

    Also Richard Moll.

    Cobwebs’s last blog post..Two Auctions of Interest

  34. SO glad I didn’t answer that question yesterday when I saw it on Twitter.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..LOST S5ep16

  35. But to answer it now (I know, totally defeats the purpose) does the nerdy guy from Numbers count? Because I heart him in dirty ways.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..LOST S5ep16

  36. Oh, also–even though she hasn’t done one in a while, let me point you to Kristabella’s Death is Not an Option posts for all kinds of celebrity suggestions.

    (Hitting that link just reminded me that I should have mentioned Anthony Bourdain, too.)


    Cobwebs’s last blog post..Two Auctions of Interest

  37. After this we had a discussion about whether Jonah Hill is funny enough to do.

    I voted yes, yes, and YES.

    Maxie’s last blog post..My Secret

  38. I will trump all you all with Lyle Lovett and my strange fascination with Oliver Platt.

    Tracy Lynn’s last blog post..New Mommy is Kaplyspeak For Any Female In Fathead’s Line Of Sight

  39. WOW. It’s like people were trying to one up each other with our graphic they could be.

    But, seriously, Snape. Yes.

    Lauren’s last blog post..Back to School

  40. Also, I’d happily cough up hair balls after sha-boinking Chewbacca! Rawr!

    He’s big and strong … and all over I assume. See that pigeon-toed walk he has? It’s ‘cos he’s tucking “stuff” in like a proper sasquatchian creature would so no one gets intimidated … or so I hear.

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Just A Little Giggle

  41. Uhhh…lesseee now.
    Steve Buscemi, really thought I was alone in finding him so…”intriguing”, but glad to see him on Blogess’ list.
    Tim Roth, kind of needs to wash his hair in his that new Fox show, but still totally do-able….all sad eyes and all.
    And Stephen Colbert, TOTALLY Stephen Colbert.
    Yep…agree with the Edward Scissorhands version of Johnny Depp, but hell any version of Johnny Depp works for me. The weirder the better.
    Jason Schwartzman, so strung out in Spun…so hot.
    And yep, Alton Brown too. I can see that, absolutely.
    Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs, he’s more conventionally attractive, but I’d do him in a sewer in a minute.

  42. I would do naughty things to Ben from Lost. Mmm… Evil and Manipulation.

  43. @Maxie I almost called off our engagement because of that. But then you would have pointed out that I have a thing for Sylar, but not the actor or as any other role, only the character who is a sociopathic mass murderer, and what does that say about me?

    Mostly that I’d let Sylar cut my forehead open, so long as his P was in my V, methinks.

    LiLu’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Little Red Corvette (Worcester Style)

  44. Tom Hanks. I think he could do a lot with the bulbous nose tip.

    Cat’s last blog post..Do You Smell A Monkey?

  45. @LiLu I would never call off our engagement. I love boning murderers. Remember that time I dated the guy that stabbed someone to death. That was a hoot. I also think Robert De Niro was pretty hot in Hide and Seek. Spoiler alert: he’s the killer.

    I think the follow up to this question should be hot guys we WOULDNT do b/c they’re such jackasses. George Bush. What, no one else thinks he’s hot?

    Maxie’s last blog post..My Secret

  46. Dr. Cox (hee-hee) on Scrubs. I often have dreams about him. I used to have dreams about Howard Stern too, but Perry Cox has taken his place.

  47. @Maxie Sadaam. 100%.

    LiLu’s last blog post..TMI Thursday: Little Red Corvette (Worcester Style)

  48. During the Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings, I had a big thing for Joe Biden. Yes, Joe Biden. I probably wouldn’t do him now, mind you, but then, oh yes. I’d also say John Malkovich, because he looks like he could do impressive things with that strange over-annunciating mouth of his.

  49. I am so for Alan Rickman but ONLY if he is in Snape outfit. Sigh…

    Karen’s last blog post..Mothers Day

  50. @ihatesomuch is my most favorite blogger ever

    alexa – cleveland’s a plum’s last blog post..the one where i’m getting auctioned off for charity

  51. Oh, I’d also add Andy Samberg, precisely because of that nose of his, and Rahm Emmanuel, for his intensity.

  52. What exactly is a “monkey on an elephant” sex like? Just wondering if it worth trying.

    Sarah’s last blog post..Website Wednesdays #1

  53. “PS. Yes, I’m aware that the list of people I’d do is longer than the list of people I wouldn’t do but that doesn’t mean I’m a whore. It means I’m *agreeable*.”

    Can this just replace the word “slut” from now on? Thanks!

    shine’s last blog post..Maybe it’s just me?

  54. 54
    Princess charlie

    The 17 year old Russian Chekov from the new startrek movie. That accent… mm!

  55. Danny Trejo. And Grace Jones. And The Predator. I’m going to marry The Predator. He’s going to have to get used to apartment living though, ’cause I’m not moving to the jungle.

    Sawing on a Jawbone’s last blog post..Well, I’m a little embarassed. I’m also a little teapot.

  56. I’ve wanted both the guys from “Adam-12” since I was about seven.

    penne’s last blog post..Holy Matrimony, Batman.

  57. Hugh Laurie is a dish, cane or no cane.

    And I’ve had a disturbing crush on Jim Broadbent for as long as I can remember. So keep your Shaun of the Dead. Hot Fuzz is my triple treat 🙂

    jenniebee’s last blog post..Grumpykins

  58. Johnny Knoxville. Can’t explain it but I totally would do his skinny, weird little ass. Oh and Rutegar Hauer, totally. He has that “I’m sex even with the receding hair line” thing going on.

  59. Mine is Geoffry Rush…bonus if he’s in his half-dead pirate garb.

    Kate’s last blog post..Now that I’m done with school (again), it’s time to brush up on those interview skills!

  60. Stephen Colbert. It’s weird. I know.

    Summer’s last blog post..

  61. I used to have a thing for Herman Munster. Now it’s Conan O’Brien. Apparently I’m into tall, funny freaks.

    The Introvert’s last blog favorites

  62. Fantastic idea for a list. I’ve always had the hots for Willem Dafoe. Ever since Platoon.

    Going off of the list that you posted… Eddie Izzard, yes please and thank you very much. Definitely with the eyeliner. And Alan Rickman, Benicio Del Toro, Hugh Laurie and Gary Oldman too.

    Wendy’s last blog post..I’ll Take Timezones for 100

  63. Sawing on a Jawbone:
    “Danny Trejo. And Grace Jones. And The Predator. I’m going to marry The Predator. He’s going to have to get used to apartment living though, ’cause I’m not moving to the jungle.”
    Yes! Yes! YES!! Isn’t the Predator fuggin’ sexy as hell?! I’d grab ahold of those dreadlocks and pop off a few good ones …

    Akilah Sakai’s last blog post..Just A Little Giggle

  64. 64
    mr. cuddles

    I’d like to rock Donald Trump’s world. And then I’d request some alone time with his hair piece 😉

  65. Wendy:

    Yes! Willem Dafoe! Definitely.

    I also concur with anything Johnny Depp (but I don’t think that is all that odd) Hugh Laurie, Jeff Goldblum, Sylar (again, I don’t find that odd), John Malkovich and Stephen Colbert.

    I think I would also like to add Anthony Hopkins, Stephen Tyler, and Charles Keating.

    I think I just have a thing for the British and tall skinny guys with long hair and wide mouths.

    melistress’s last blog post..Mother

  66. I think I had the hots for Simba when I was a kid. Yeah. The lion.

    Sarah’s last blog post..Want: Real Notebook Computer (via Geekologie)

  67. I’m going to use a lady because I’m penised: Nancy Pelosi. Well, not use her like “use her for sex” but use her for the purpose of this comment. But I would totally use her for sex.

    MayoPie’s last blog post..Donald Trumps us all

  68. Jack Black. And I second Stephen Colbert.

  69. Great googly moogly!

  70. I had a crush on Peter Lorre. I win.

  71. Does Colin Meloy count as weird? I’m not sure cause I didn’t think of lotsa these guys as weird…guess I just have a really high weird threshold.

    Dani’s last blog post..Going a step beyond what might be classified as "healthy cynicism" since age four…

  72. I’m certain this is going to top all the wierdness you have so far received. When I lived in the Ft Wayne IN area we were surrounded by the Amish. After awhile I got to be slightly attracted to the young ones and as it progressed they became suddenly down right sexy! Dressed in those blue nondescript short sleeved shirts, the blue pants held up with suspenders, the boots, the smell of farm animals and honest manly sweat, the straw hats and the brown skin, the unwavering blue eyes….well, they became sexier then hell. Just thinking about them, the young virile ones…wow.

    alphawoman’s last blog post..Where did I put that darn Camera?

  73. Paul Reubens and David Spade need to be on that list. Seconding Alton Brown. … Hell, how about throwing in Bill Nye for good measure?

    Liv’s last blog post..the daily/weekly/whenever review: flight of the conchords ’09

  74. As a token male, I’d totally do Claudia Winkleman. Weirdest eyes I’ve ever seen.

    Mr Farty’s last blog post..So Near Yet So Far

  75. Dustin Hoffman….

    And I’d add Brad Pitt to the list of people I wouldn’t do – though my hypothetical boyfriend might expect me to want to.

    Deidre’s last blog post..Environmental Wednesday

  76. This has nothing to do with today’s blog but I just have to share, although get Alton Brown into my kitchen naked with some olive oil and we’ll just see what happens… so anyway I was on Facebook the other day and one of my friends- in his “What’s on your mind” thingy wrote “going to wolverine tonight” OMG! I was so excited! So of course I commented “WOLVERINES!!!!”. I have to send him that link… anyhoo I kept going back to check and see if anybody commented on my comment but I don’t think they got it. Oh well… And then I was going to say “SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!” But I didn’t want him to think I was too weird. And by the way, I rented Soylent Green because I wanted to be cool and know what y’all were talking about and I watched it and it was the wierdest movie I have ever seen in my life and now I am worried that we will all come to that and I REALLY DON’T WANT TO LIVE IN A CAR AND EAT PEOPLE!

  77. My vision includes BOTH Russell Brand and Eddie Izzard, with Philip Seymour Hoffman (wearing only a painfully short, terrycloth robe) bringing us iced tea and finger bowls.

    barbara’s last blog post..Where have YOU been?

  78. 78

    I wish comeone would call me a cunt. That’s like calling a cab. right?

  79. Ummm, well, I thought I knew what I was going to say but I think it’s all been said…and then some.

    BTW: you have a magical way of bringing out the darkside

    Miss Behavin’s last blog post..Calvin Riley: "I Just Want To Go Home!"

  80. Wow. Noel Fielding. I totally agree. Mullet, big sunglasses and random colored cowboy hat. Oh yeah.

  81. Wow. All I can say is, I wish I was famous and kinda weird looking.

    Steve’s last blog post..Tweet

  82. Ummm, I have always been so hot for Dan Haggerty. Yea, he is the same age as my dad, but dammnn all that facial hair….Gotta love a big strong woodsy man with lots of facial hair!

    Gayla Smith’s last blog post..

  83. You are SO followed on twitter now; I can’t believe I missed out on this fun.

    Snape and a half. *shivers*
    And Gil Grissom, yes.
    I think those are the only two the only “weirdos” I’ve actually entertained thoughts of snogging with. More than once.

    However, if we can PG it down to “people I have found attractive against my will”, I could definitely get on the list for David Spade, Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa, Ryan Skiles from Whose Line, Drew Carey sometimes, Oliver Platt (in particular, as Porthos in 3 musketeers), that one skinny bad-guy guy with the long greasy hair from Robin Hood Prince of Thieves + 3 musketeers (too lazy to look up on imdb), and Ron Rifkin (sloane from Alias).

    And just since I’m on a roll, I’ll add that I did also get some inappropriate flutters for (a) young Daniel Radcliffe, about movie 2-3, (b) peter pan from that live action PP flick, and (c) William Moseley (peter) in the most recent Narnia movie. Although that last one is the spit and image of my longtime high school crush/bestfriend/it never went anywhere but it should have, damn it/heartbreak guy, so, I have an excuse for that one.

    I don’t think Jack Sparrow counts as weird looking, although he does have that weird, like, STD open sore on his face (seriously, that’s what they intended it to be).

    On the “hell, no, we won’t go” list, I think Kevin Bacon is the ugliest “hot guy” ever.

  84. 84

    It’s Steve Buscemi for me. Weird, fucked-up, sexy ugly. And here I have this really pretty cute husband. The best part, though, is I tell him that I love SB because he’s so sexy ugly and he gets it. I shoulda wrote that into our vows. Though he’s never told me his, so I’m constantly left wondering who it is. The bee girl from the Blind Melon song? Oh, but wait, that would be gross, too, and then I’d have to kick him out.

  85. 85

    Daniel Day Lewis à la There Will Be Blood: I want to drink his milkshake.

    Jermaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords: One word – lips.

  86. I agree on Steve Buscemi and Adrien Brody. Especially Adrien Brody. What a fox.

  87. I prefer women. Gay, I know.

    Hello, Jenny the Bloggess.

    scott’s last blog post..The Song of Nothing to Say

  88. I’m a lesbian and I just love Eddie Izzard in or out of drag.

  89. Honestly, I had never thought about having sex WITH ANY of these people until I read this post.

    Now I am totally picturing Steve Buscemi and Mr T and a spit roast. TMI?

    Jelly’s last blog post..It all fits. I think Al from ‘my life in a blog’ might actually know more than Google.

  90. Okay, clearly some people do not get the question because they’re naming people who are not, by any measure, weird looking. Some of you, on the other hand, completely get the question and have some seriously awkward sex in store. I’ll leave you to sort out which is which.

    Naptimewriting’s last blog post..Yeah, you do.

  91. John Krasinski. Weird cute. He can bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.

    carpeviam’s last blog post..Roadtrip: Are these little suckers fortified with Vitamin C?

  92. At this point in the game, does Jeff Goldblum count? And if not, I’ll take Oliver Platt behind Door number 2 after Tracy is done with him.

  93. I have to agree with Catherine, Snape does it for me. And my daughters. I was all ‘oooh Snape, come to mama’ and then Moo was all ‘He is mine!’ and I told her that she would just have to get in line and she was all ‘I can give him something you can’t, my VIRGINITY’

    And you just can’t beat that shit. Dammit.

    Kelley @ Magnetoboldtoo’s last blog post..This made me gaffaw. And not throw up in my mouth at all. Well, maybe just a little, cause you know the whole sympathy vomiting thing.

  94. Rob Lowe looks more and more like Chad every damn day, but I’d still wrassle that fool’s pants off.

    ….and also Dwight Yoakam if I was blind drunk and he kept his hat slung way, waaaay low.

    Bill Murray, but specifically the Bill Murray from Broken Flowers.

    Gordon Ramsay?

    Holy shit, someone said ‘Chewbacca’ and I heard the baby Jesus wail, I swear. Then the Amish joined the party and all I can think of is how many crazily-worded hits you’re gonna get off this one post alone. I wanna know what Nancy thinks of all this.

  95. I wish I had known about this sooner… Because, Conan O’Brien. And Jeff Goldblum. AND Bill Paxton. Gang Bang.

    Yeah, nobody thought of Paxton. Probably just me…

    The Geeky Chef’s last blog post..Crunchy Spider Surprise

  96. Seeing as how I’m a guy…I pick Jenny in the T-Rex mask.

  97. Ok. I cannot stop laughing. Hmmmm… Bill Clinton?

    Marisa’s last blog post..I don’t have skin cancer on my nipple and other updates.

  98. Whoa. Okay, I totally forgot about Dr. Cox from Scrubs! Yum! And seriously, Mike Rowe from Dirty Jobs is H.O.T., so we can’t really say we would do him ‘even though he’s fugly’. Damn. But I would. Do him.

    And LMAO!!!: “He can bang me like a screen door in a hurricane.”

    Danielle’s last blog post..The Power of the Mommy hormone

  99. Yes, yes. Gil Grissom from CSIR does it for me too. I also like Eric from Bold and the Beautiful. And that guy from Law and Order, Criminal Intent. Growl.

    Sid’s last blog post..Last Request

  100. OMG I just got fired over reading all this smut! Oh… wait… I’m a mom blogger without an official (aka paying) job… OK, now I think I need meds…

    Aria’z Ink’s last blog post..All Hail Elmo, Friendo

  101. That “ammer” chick sounds like she’s on the more fun side of dementia. Oh! And she’s totally wanted a slice of Eddie Izzard In Drag for years now. Don’t ask me how I know that. By the way, I’ve never understood the excitement of role-playing. Anyway, I think he looks 10x hotter out of drag. I’m not gay, though.

    WazNeeni’s last blog post..Arrogant Dickhead

  102. Oh, and how did Bea Arthur not make the list?

    WazNeeni’s last blog post..Arrogant Dickhead

  103. 103

    I had a sex dream about Leslie Nielson one time. Yeah.. the guy from the Naked Gun movies. It was hot.

    LOLing at the SlackMistress. Peter Lorre does win I think. I’m having a hard time thinking of anyone in history less sexy. Maybe Jabba the Hutt.

  104. Jeffrey Dahmer

    Now who picked the weirdest?

    OK, and Stephen Fry, Gabriel Byrne, Dylan Moran, Alan Bates, Alan Rickman, Jeremy Irons, Alan Davies…. so many odd looking (and often dead) celebrities, so little time…

    Also, too many people called Alan. My Dad’s name is Alan.

    blueskies’s last blog post..A Little Ode

  105. I can finally admit that I have a weird fastasy that involves Tony Soprano, not the actor James Gandelfini, just Tony….

  106. Oh! Im with the Rickman fans! (and im 26! :D) and you know who else? I loooooved Russell Crowe when he was all fat and old in “The Insider”– Adrien Brody, hot hot hot….

    And Tony Soprano – me too! 😀 Oh! Kevin Spacey too– but is he ugly? Not really– is he? 😀

  107. Damn, this gives me hope…

    Jim Gaudet’s last blog post..Tuts Plus – Mad Skills

  108. 108

    I would secretly booty call with:
    1] Kid Rock cause he’s a white trash, cigar smokin’, greasy hair, American bad ass
    2] Bill Gates (we all want to know what that would be like… giggidy giggidy!)

    1] would throw me around and 2] would just throw money at me. Hopefully. 😉

  109. Gordon Ramsey
    Shepard Smith from Fox News
    Fred Weller from In Plain Sight

    Admittedly, I do not find these people to be super weird looking. Just throwing them out there.

    Also, what the hell is a Snape?

  110. Conan O’Brien. I’d hit that floppy hair, pasty ass.

    Lizz’s last blog post..If You’re Happy And You Know It…..

  111. 112

    Hahaha oh dear.

    On a completely different note (sorta), you know how there’s sometimes vending machines in the toilets selling things like feminine hygeine products and some basic condoms? Well, I saw this vending machine in an ordinary looking pub toilet in Edinburgh, and it sold so many awesome things, including those rabbit ear vibrators and a blow up pig – it didn’t say what that was used for. I wish I’d taken a picture of this machine (to send to you, of course)… and yes, I contemplated buying the pig for curiosity’s sake.

  112. This is probably my favorite post and comments that I have read in a really long time.

    Zandor’s last blog post..Working at a police department

  113. 114

    I cannot believe no one mentioned Andy Dick.

    It’s all in the name.

  114. I’m totally on the David Bowie from Labyrinth train…I mean, not THAT kind of train…that would probably involve all those goblins and puppet creatures and I’m totally willing to let my freak flag fly for David Bowie but he can’t bring his friends. If you see him, will you let him know? Thanks.

    Jessica (Hey Lola)’s last blog post..I would so ninja kick bridezilla’s ass…seriously.

  115. 116

    Stanley Tutchi. John Malkovitch. Jeff Goldblum. Gary Senise.

  116. I used to watch Labyrinth whenever I had sleepovers so my friends and I could pause at the parts with Bowie and stare at the crotch of his pants (there was significant and identifiable bulge)… this was when aol was real big and parents could lock you off the internet successfully and before everyone started having sex at 10.

  117. 118

    When I was about 13 I had a crush on Joel from the Satellite of Love, MST3K. I sent him a flirty note (as flirty as things can get when you’re working with pencil on lined notebook paper) and I still think about him. Also have my moments watching West Wing and lusting after Joshua Lyman (Bradley Whitford) and my husband makes fun of me for this.

  118. Pink! Pink and pink. Sorry, were you saying something?

    BOSSY’s last blog post..And Just Like That, Freshman Year Draws To A Close.

  119. I would work Seth Green over like a whore on dollar day!

    AnissaMayhew’s last blog post..This entire post is just another form of procrastination

  120. Hot ugly guys? Harvey Keitel . . . yeah, sorry. And definitely Hugh Laurie, but he’s not so ugly. But Snape . . . ? Dudes!

    Elaine at Lipstickdaily’s last blog post..What I Know for Sure: I’m Happy To Be Home

  121. Sam Waterston makes me sigh wistfully.

  122. Once more, you’re proven the worth and beauty of Twitter. Social media is a powerful tool. And hey, now you know you don’t have to block these followers. How would we all survive without people offering up their thoughts on the scent of Lil Wayne’s grill?

    emma’s last blog post..For Jamie

  123. darn it – i tried to vote, but i don’t belong to facebook so it wouldn’t let me – i was so in with Alan Rickman – he’s divine 🙂

    Sheila’s last blog post..are you my fucktard-of-the-moment?

  124. OK, guy here and not partcularly gay, but Walter Cronkite… why are you all looking at me like that?

  125. Oh I soooo agree with the Snape post. i don’t know what it is about him! he’s so evil, mean, nasty…

  126. I get an estrogen surge every time I see Skinner from the X-Files. Ahh. Bald and hunky.

    Lynn from For Love or Funny’s last blog post..Double take

  127. Mine would have to be some old geezers like Mick Jagger and Rod Stewart. I still think they are totally HOT!

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..And Then I Had To File Bankruptcy

  128. Yay for your new site design! And wow…your readers…wow. Talk about losing all inhibitions when you’re behind that computer screen.

    sabrina’s last blog post..Care Bear Stare!

  129. David Strathairn…

    in case that isn’t weird enough I’m a teenage girl.

    Jack’s last blog post..Fridays rock

  130. HellBoy. The horns and tail don’t scare me at all. Neither does the huge hand. And I just realized that this comment sounds dirtier than I meant it to be. But HellBoy is hooot!

    Elisa’s last blog post..Happy Birthday Stella!

  131. This sure looks like fun. But for the guys [-or- butt: for the guys] you might have to do “Which ‘beautiful’ celeb would you not do?”

  132. I totally forgot about James Spader. Anytime, Pretty in Pink all the way to Secretary, but especially in Stargate.

    The Geeky Chef’s last blog post..Crunchy Spider Surprise

  133. Gary Oldman- esp. as Dracula. Lordee, he was hot.

    & I loved David Bowie so much in Labyrinth that I named my oldest son Jarreth. (yeah, I added an “r”- one “r” looked doofy to me)

  134. Hannibal Lector, fer sure.

  135. I just now read this post and noticed that the whole world knows I’d let Adam Goldberg plow me. Oh well, I ain’t skeered.

    Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post..Things You should NEVER Have to Say:

  136. Where the fuck is Seth Rogen’s name.. I don’t see it anywhere. I can’t be the only one with a thing for Jewish potheads!? …I would tap that so. so. so. hard.

  137. Gimli, lord of the rings… Yepper Also all over the chewbacca.

  138. 139

    Iggy Pop totally turns me on, I guess it’s that strung-out-on-heroin look

  139. 140

    Iggy Pop totally turns me on, I guess it’s that strung-out-on-heroin look

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