Happy Vomit Day, y’all

So you know how Google changes up its logo on holidays and historical anniversaries?  Like on Halloween they make it look like a ghoul’s dead hand or on Easter they’ll have a bunny hiding in behind it?  That’s adorable.  But then I saw today’s logo and it looks exactly like what I threw up this weekend.  Is it International Vomit Day?  Because no one sent me a card.

Picture 6

Updated: Hang on.  I looked a little closer and it’s actually a bunch of space ships attacking a small suburban town.  We never covered this in history.

PS. Victor just pointed out that we never covered any of the World Wars in class either so I might not be the best judge of what-happened-this-day-in-history.  To be honest, we really only learned Texas History in high school and it was taught by a football coach who made us paint football banners during class so I apologize to whatever State this alien tragedy happened in.  Unless this happened in Texas.  Then I kind of want to burn down my history coach’s house.  Unless this happened after high school when I was in college and was too high focused to notice shit like that happening even in my own town.  Then I hope that the aliens burned down my History coach’s house.  That guy was an asshole.  Like, one time I had to make a 6 foot banner “visually interpreting a hawk destroying a blizzard in battle”, which, yes, is fucking impossible. And when I was done my coach just shook his head like he was terribly disappointed with me and he never hung it up during the pep-rallys.  And that’s pretty much the entirety of what I learned in my first semester of high school History: Football coaches are shitty teachers, and birds can’t fight blizzards on paper.  It’s no wonder there was never enough time to get into WWI.

Comment of the day: Here you go…I made you a banner.  Now you can go back and throw that in your History coach’s face.  You’re welcome. ~ moooooog35

117 thoughts on “Happy Vomit Day, y’all

Read comments below or add one.

  1. No doubt the high school coach was an idiot but could he have meant buzzard? That would at least make a kind of sense?

  2. Well, shiver me timbers, I totally missed “Talk Like a Pirate Day.” “Talk Like You’re Throwing up Day” just doesn’t have the same ring to it. I studied WWII by watching “Hogan’s Heroes.” Maybe today could be “Talk Like Colonel Klink Day.”

    HOEGAWN!!!!!

  3. It really must be a “Texas” thing, having coaches for History teachers. Every History class I ever took was with a coach, always a male coach, though. The best was the US History class I took that was “instructed” by the baseball/basketball coach. Do you know what I learned in that class? No? Well, Imma tell ya…I learned how to correctly spell all of the states. I wouldn’t even shit you about this. You’re my favorite turd. I swear it.

    Anyhow, is it a requirement to teach a History class if you’re a male coach in a high school?
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Writer’s Workshop: Sending Out A Message =-.

  4. So I’m assuming that your school mascot was a hawk, and the blizzard represented a rival school in a little tradish mascot-on-mascot action, right? Question: What the hell high school chooses for its mascot not only a meteorological event, but one that is statistically IM-friggin’-PROBABLE in the state of Texas?

    Unless your rival high school was in Canada or something? Look, dude, was this paint-huffin’ history teacher in charge of the geography department too? ’cause, I mean, gosh.
    .-= That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..The Kind of Girl Who … demands to speak to your supervisor =-.

  5. At first I thought it was a farm and that google was making fun of the world for loving farmville so much, but then I hovered over it and it told me it was for H.G. Wells birthday.

    Also, I’d like to sadly point out that this is the second comment I’ve left on this blog regarding farmville. I need a life.
    .-= Maxie´s last blog ..Summer =-.

  6. My history teacher was, um, interesting. He always wore galoshes with one pant leg tucked in and one hanging out. His hair was a long combover that sometimes masqueraded as a mohawk. He was fond of picking his nose and taking naps at his desk. I learned nothing. But I did read War of the Worlds. Wasn’t Tom Cruise in that book?
    .-= Torina´s last blog ..Hot pink minivan with a muffintop on the side =-.

  7. I don’t get it. What’s the fetish for H.G. Wells? He stole most of his ideas from Emily Chesley and Florence Deeks, and anyway, there are more important things to celebrate today.

    How about the International Day of Peace? That’s today. Or if yo u want geeky, why not celebrate the first publication of The Hobbit? (Though I’m not sure if pictures of hairy feet are better than pictures of vomit, and you can thank me later for all the Google hits you get on “hairy feet vomit fetish.”
    .-= Mark A. Rayner´s last blog ..Piles of fun =-.

  8. you’re so sweet, wishing everyone a happy vd! thank you … additionally, my fuckhead of a tx history teacher was a coach too. it’s like texas thinks texas history’s important and they think football is VERY important therefore: combine them together and it’s super very duper important and awesome and NOTHING CAN GO WRONG! mistake one.
    .-= mylittlebecky´s last blog ..urban becky =-.

  9. Yeah, OK, like we ALL should have known it was HG Wells’ birthday… Riiiiiiiiiiight it was on the memo and no, I didn’t get the memo, Bill. Personally I like Vomit Day better. We’ve ALL vomited, not all of us have read HG Wells. You win the more relevant to more people award, Jenny. Google, you suck. And so does anyone who knew before being told that it was HG Wells’ birthday.
    .-= Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..Sabotaged Sunday =-.

  10. You know what’s super weird? In Canada, we had to learn Canadian, British, AND American history. And the only thing I learned is that those other histories are cooler because Louis Riel earns only passing mention in either, if at all.

    You should have drawn an eagle eating a tornado. THAT is possible, and totally drawable. Maybe try again?
    .-= emvandee´s last blog ..Earthy toasty mushroomy deliciousness, a thing you should eat with wine while wearing pajamas. =-.

  11. Ok so they are attacking New Jersey – who the fu*k cares, it NEW JERSEY, which is why in wasn’t in my Florida history either, which pretty much dealt with how great our state government was, and the fountain of youth.

  12. Those who can’t, teach. Those who can’t teach, coach.

    Just kidding of course, my husband is both a teacher of history and a coach and he also was not aware of alien invasions anywhere in the United States on this date. But he also has 40 thousand books about the Civil War and none about alien invasions, so he may not be the best source, either.
    .-= Amanda Austin´s last blog ..To the student who got the Alachua Co. Library scholarship that we funded: "You’re Welcome" =-.

  13. I think you should sue that History Teacher…for emotional distress. You, as a person, are now damaged by his not using your banner – and by basically putting you on the path that you are on. At the very least – send him a bill for all your wigs. Come to think of it…I’M going to sue him…Because now I’M going to be thinking how a hawk is supposed to destroy a blizzard all fuckin’ day now.
    .-= Kerrie´s last blog ..Why Girls Use More Words Than Boys =-.

  14. I couldn’t figure out Google today either. But it doesn’t look like anything I’ve thrown up for awhile. Because it usually involves red Kool-aid. And vodka.

    I really didn’t need to comment, but I love how your comments show your last blog entry and mine are all these pansy-ass crafty topics right up there with Killer Robots and Wipe Your Mouth… there’s still a bit of bullshit around your lips and the Secret Life of Estrogen. Note to Self: Use compelling blog post titles to lure people into craft and sewing projects.
    .-= jcaroline´s last blog ..I made something! =-.

  15. I had a coach for a health teacher in high school. That really made for awkward times when we got around to sexually transmitted diseases. Plus he was this really creepy guy who never stopped smiling. Who smiles while they talk about chlamydia?
    .-= Kristen´s last blog ..Thank You’s =-.

  16. I graduated from Cisco,TX. I totally know what you mean about coaches and classes. I had a coach in spanish, history, and a couple of m math classes…

    I never made a banner but they were really good about giving us the answers to the test [they called it review on the morning of the test but they just read down the test if you spent the rest of the day until that class memorizing the answers then you got an A].

    My best friend was from Winters haha. I never did figure out why they thought an icecream treat from the local Dairy cream could kick anythings ass…
    .-= catonine´s last blog ..(NOT) Homemade Sour Cream Enchiladas =-.

  17. i guess people don’t know who H. G. Wells was because their teacher’s were busy making them (as students) paint impossible posters for football games, work on their houses, and watch the teachers pick their noses. sad, actually. i just shot rubber bands at my students when they were not paying attention in my classes. I at least tried to make something interesting (like how NOT to get shot with a rubber band).

  18. When I saw it, I thought it looked like potatoes. But, YES! Now that I’ve looked closer I see the space ship theme. War of the Worlds, huh? I saw the movie … don’t like it.

    My high school had the SAME football coach! His house wasn’t destroyed by space ships, but he did come home to find his wife in bed with the female gym teacher!
    .-= Em´s last blog ..I Know Why The Caged Dog Poops =-.

  19. Yeah, this is just confusing as hell. Orson Welles did the HG Wells “War of the Worlds” thingy on the radio where Rosebud, the killer sled, attacked Scranton, PA., with laser beams. Wait, that might have been something with Johnny Depp in it.
    .-= mrsbitch´s last blog ..Canoeing near-death experience. =-.

  20. The coaches teaching history is just because in the education field, history is an easy degree for them to get. I would know this from experience 😉
    .-= Heather Buckner´s last blog ..Help! =-.

  21. I didn’t get it either, even after I hovered over the graphic and saw it was H.G. Wells birthday and know full well he did the whole war of the worlds thing. I thought to myself, “What does HG have to do with farming?” But then again, I never noticed the alien ships. I must need glasses. (P.S. did you like the whole “hover” reference? I hovered over the graphic much in the same way spaceships hover over earth? Huh? Huh? Did ya get it? Oh, never mind!)
    .-= Momish´s last blog ..What’s Your Time of Mind? =-.

  22. Nine words: Check out the main page of the Chronicle. Just when you thought it was safe to go in the water. (this has nothing to do with your post today by the way.)

  23. It IS National Vomit Day! I knew it, I celebrated it several times this morning. Perhaps you can vomit on the history teachers lawn.

  24. I hate to bring up typos, but in your first sentence, you write, concerning Google’s logo —

    “Like on Halloween they make it look like a goul’s dead hand.”

    Now, I know you write for many blogs nowadays, so I won’t berate you for that typo. Perhaps you are overextending yourself. I assume that you meant to say “ghoul” rather than “goul.”

    But then again, who am I to question your writing? I just happened to look on Urban Dictionary and there it was — “goul” is an actual word —

    “goul — slang used for vagina”
    “example — i slid my hand up her leg and stuck my thumb up her goul”

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=goul

    Clearly, I was mistaken. Please accept my apology. In fact, for Halloween, I will now be dressing as a “goul’s dead hand.”
    .-= Neil´s last blog ..I Went to Temple in Cincinnati =-.

  25. Great just what my space alien obsessed son needs to see. I am sure this will lead to more discussion about the possible WWIII battle that is coming with space aliens lead by the AntiChrist. OK, he’s only 6, give the kid a break. So what if he’s got his religious ed mixed in with aliens & World Wars, I am thinking he could be President some day.
    .-= beth aka confusedhomemaker´s last blog ..Last Day of Summer 2009 =-.

  26. H.G. Wells’ birthday, definitely. “War of the Worlds” was, of course, not for real – but would we really be that much worse off without New Jersey?

    My coaches never taught history (though one did teach chemistry and physics) – most of them *did*, however, teach “health ed”, which consisted of telling us to wash our hands, brush our teeth, eat our veggies, and the like – sort of like little Presidents, but at a local level and besides they were all pretty much whyte doods.

    ~EdT.
    .-= EdT.´s last blog ..Remembering Houston: Downtown YMCA =-.

  27. If today is vomit day then that would totally explain why last night my cat (who is prescient) jumped off my bed and threw-up on my sandal. Of course, the dog followed her off the bed because she (the dog) is never one to pass up a midnight snack, and in her world half-digested cat kibble is a delicacy of the first order. I suppose I could have taken the lazy way out and let the dog clean it up for me, but then I’d have to sleep with a dog with vomit-breath, which is never pleasant.

  28. Yeah, I got that google logo and I totally did not see the UFO’s or even the word “google.”

    Our football coaches were also the driver’s ed. instructors….looking back, that explains why the teens drove the way we did.

  29. ooh my birthday is friday, and I’m taking the day off and I wonder what Google will do for my birthday…I so totally can’t wait. And you must be in my head or its a trending topic because aside from my blog I wrote today and read, now including yours this is the third blog I’ve read that has aliens…ooohhweeeeoohhh (science fiction music) Also mine talks about how Google tried to fuck me over with Yahoo.
    .-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..I’m An Alien Host. =-.

  30. I, too, was wondering what the heck that mess could be when I saw it. I actually went back from my search results to pass my mouse over it, since it took a second to register and I type pretty quickly.

    How come they don’t use the same logo in the search results, by the way? I’ve often wondered this.
    .-= LiteralDan´s last blog ..Parenthood is… =-.

  31. It could be a celebration of Swine Flu vomit that appears like a small farm where swine would actually live….okay..really…I got nothing here.

  32. Well, I can’t say that I can’t relate much to your highschool experience. I had a similar situation except my history teacher was not a foot ball coach, he was a vietnam war vet. I cannot count the number of times that he made us “hunker down” because the viet cong was on their way to our base. Yeah, try doing that in a school uniform that barely let you breathe let alone climb in and out from under your desk. To think of it, both my history teachers in highschool were vietnam vets – wonder if the school got a discounted rate on salaries or something.
    .-= Krystal´s last blog ..It’s Monday, I’m allowed to be a bit whacky okay? =-.

  33. You should have called me for advice on that banner.

    Here in New England, it’s like Braveheart with hawks fighting blizzards. Sometimes I can’t even leave my house without bird shit and ice cubes raining from the heavens.

    Crazy shit…talons and bloody snowflakes and mice parts (the hawks throw up sometimes).
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..The Names Have Been Changed Because I’m Mean =-.

  34. The footbal coach at my high school was the algebra teacher and a very poor one at that. The only person who slept in class more than him was me.

  35. I saw this on google this morning as well and it scared the fuck out of me. I scrolled over it and didn’t know who the hell H.G. Wells was. Apparently, they didn’t teach us this in History class as well here in Canada. Either that or I was too busy distracted by the fact that the fat bastard teacher wore the same pair of heavy wool pants to school EVERY day and would sweat profusely and he stunk like sour puss which made me want to vomit everytime he’d come near me. Does anybody really give a fuck about this H.G. Wells dude? Who at Google gets to decide what gets featured on the Google home page? You should apply for that job Jenny……you’d do a much better job ’cause at least your shit makes sense!
    .-= Simply Mags´s last blog ..Who Knew Being A U2 Fan Would Lead To Being Molested on Public Transportation???? =-.

  36. I also grew up in Texas and was only taught Texas history. We moved to Georgia right before I started high school, and I was totally screwed. I think I may have asked, “what’s the civil war?”
    .-= Michelle´s last blog ..Yummy Pizza Dip =-.

  37. That is insane??? You never covered the World Wars in history??? Texas really is an interesting place, isn’t it? LOL

    About the Google logo thing… I was totally wondering about a different spaceship weird version of that logo one day… it was similar but different… but I totally missed the point.
    .-= Susan (5 Minutes for Mom)´s last blog ..Watch My Venice Videos on Facebook… =-.

  38. I’m from Ohio, and I had the same high school track coach teaching my 8th grade *and* 10th grade American History classes — neither year did we even make it past the signing of the Consitution because he had to insert his own little bits of ‘wisdom’ into every class session, such as this classic: “Crispus Attucks was just a d***a** drunk n***** who decided to pick a fight with some British soldiers with loaded muskets!”

    Needless to say, American History is *not* one of my better subjects in Trivial Pursuit…
    .-= Andrew Ironwood´s last blog ..I Have *NO* Idea What This Is… =-.

  39. My history teacher was the basketball coach. We could get extra credit for attending basketball games. Our constitution test was open book. He once threw one of my classmates gym shoes out the third floor window, because he wasn’t supposed to be carrying them to class. The JV basketball coach was my typing teacher. I was told that since I had managed to avoid the class until I was a junior (it was mandatory for freshmen), I would automatically pass. If I had held out until I was a senior, I would have gotten an automatic A. I liked when I had coaches for teachers, but then, I went to a somewhat snooty college prep, so any break was appreciated.
    .-= a´s last blog ..What’s wrong with people? =-.

  40. Our football coach was our algebra teacher. And he was HOT! He may have been a good teacher but I couldn’t tell ya because my teenage hormones were raging and all I did was have ridiculous fantasies about him and his tight shorts…..mmmmmmmmmmm……………….

    And I still don’t see anything but vomit. I can’t even make out google!

  41. I’m disappointed. I thought it was vomit day. Thanks alot Google for disappointing me.

    And seriously they need to fire the art guy that made that graphic.
    “so we are looking for alien aircraft attacking a town, totally the world has coming to an end..”
    *sips slurpie* “Dude, I totally got it”

    And then we got vomit on the screen. Great job art guy!
    .-= Angel´s last blog ..Call Animal 911! =-.

  42. I had the football trainer for World History…He spent an entire semester mispronouncing places and making us color maps of the “Medipotamia” (Mediterranean cuisine served in Mesopotamia?) and “Algean Sea” (Sea of Algae…in the book it was referred to as the AEGean Sea.) Asshat. I can wrap and ice an ankle like a freaking champ, though…

  43. Our coach taught driver’s ed, which consisted of driving him around to pick up his dry cleaning and stuff. The history teacher just had us watch a bunch of old war movies, so in case you’re wondering, John Wayne fought in every war in American history, which is why we always won.
    .-= Barbara´s last blog ..Spamalicious =-.

  44. Thank you. I was using the google toolbar to search ‘oligohydramnios’ to find out if I already sucked at parenting before I even have my first baby. Turns out I do, and that the picture wasn’t a cookie with fucked up chocolate chips. I appreciate you clearing it up for me.
    .-= Brianna´s last blog ..Picture of the Week: ? =-.

  45. Oh man. I thought you were finally coming around to promote the best way to lose weight! Or maybe you were announcing that you got prego and are now suffering morning-noon-evening sickness. We need to find out from google what color code it is for that vomit color. Amazing they matched it so perfectly. So Texas history is indeed taught differently from the rest of the US of A. So I guess we shouldn’t have been so critical of W, tis not his fault really…
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Glue Gun, Pom Poms and Googly Eyes: Props for Mother of the Year medal =-.

  46. i too saw that. when i saw it i thought it was some type of raw unprocessed gold because i searched something with the letters AU. but then i looked at it and saw it looked like the aliens from war of the worlds. so then i searched why google put that up and if they were trying to say something sinister, and i came across your blog. thanks to this i learned something today about hg wells.

  47. If you were here I would throw up all over you to celebrate this most sacred of national holidays, and then I would ask you to throw up on me but I would run faster than you because these made-for-Hallmark holidays make me sick but not that sick.
    I like “Show Me Yours And I’ll Show You Mine” Day much better. I think it’s coming up in October……

  48. Definitely a Texas thing…

    My Geography teach was the head football coach. Instead of learning about the positions of different countries on the map, we learned about the positions of the offensive line on the field.

    If I had learned where the Philippines was when I was in high school, I probably wouldn’t be here now.

    I blame the coach.
    .-= The Undomesticated Housewife´s last blog ..The Philippines stole Starbucks =-.

  49. Dammit, I vomited on the 19th/20th. Should have had all that wine and pizza on the Sunday night instead, and saved that delightful bathroom episode for Vomit Day.

  50. Also, is this really the best Google could come up with to celebrate the War of the Worlds dude? Aliens attacking vomit. Seriously? I also love how they made this horrible picture and expected everyone to know what the hell they were doing. I mean not even any obvious text like the guys name or something. I think whoever made this was hungover and couldn’t think about anything but vomit and then forgot what he/she was making by the time they were done with the space ships and just thought, “ah, screw it” and let it go live. Talk about making yourself a target in a job-loss frenzy. They got it backwards. It’s make yourself important so you’re irreplaceable not kick your own ass out the door. Dumbass.
    .-= LB @Wait, She Said What?´s last blog ..Men will wish they had a penis like the banana slug, but will quickly change their mind. =-.

  51. I had the basketball coach for trig. I did great but didn’t learn anything. I was totally screwed in calc. I would ask questiions & my calc teacher told me, “you should have learned that in trig.” Thanks, so helpful. Took me 5 semesters to get through 3 semesters of calculus.

    I had the football coach for Computers II. He hated anyone who wasn’t a football player. There were’t any football players in Computers II. Shocking I know.

  52. The three eyed alien teacher in my space alien history class said mr. Wells messed up a good story

    and should have kept the bloody details right.

  53. We were JUST talking about this…”we” as in my husband’s family and “this” as in coaches are shitty teachers, especially when they lament to their entire class over an injury for MONTHS…cause now, the team’s gonna suck and it’s ALL #85’s FAULT CAUSE HE DIDN’T BLOCK THE LEFT FLANK OF THE THIRD REICH!

    Whatever, dude. Get your pants back on.

  54. What is it with Texas History and coaches? My Texas History class was also taught by a coach. And also Driver’s Ed.

  55. I was taught physics by a history teacher who was questionable at history. And this isn’t soft science (I apologise biologists. Or I don’t), this is physics people. I had to teach myself because he kept telling us stuff that was wrong, and this is physics so it was objectively wrong.
    .-= Zoey´s last blog ..Dust Storm =-.

  56. I think Google ought to have a logo where a hawk is battling a blizzard. And when you scroll over it it says “International Vomit Day.” Because they can, you know. They have, like, technology.
    .-= Monkey Kurt´s last blog ..Public Restrooms =-.

  57. You know I saw that Google banner and didn’t see the vomit but then through your powerful suggestive abilities it totally looked like vomit. Perhaps I should joint a vomit cult.
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Like Boo =-.

  58. I grew up in Houston and went to Lamar for high school. I had a coach for a geography teacher, who played us Remember the Titans every day of class, the entire year. I wish I was kidding! I think he even tried to give us a test on it once..

  59. This is what our education system gets for hiring football coaches as history teachers. I learned jack crap in history cause I was too busy wondering why this meat head was teaching me about the Battle at Gettysburg. Wait, was that even taught in history class? See my problem?. Education fail.
    .-= Courtney´s last blog ..On a budget =-.

  60. On the comment of the day comment by moooooog35, that’s actually an osprey, not a hawk. But they’re both still raptors and it IS cute! I guess this is a moot point since this is like WAY in the future now.

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