November 2009 – The Bloggess

For the love of James Garfield

When I say the name “James Garfield” if it means anything to you other than “that amazingly awesome were-bear-hog thing that Jenny was robbed of because her husband didn’t understand the importance of James Garfield” then you need to stop reading this and go read this first. Go ahead. I’ll wait. Done? Good. Because IContinue reading “For the love of James Garfield”

A Thanksgiving poem written from my in-laws home, which was flooded with two inches of toilet water and now has all the carpet padding torn out and giant industrial blowers deafeningly forcing wind into the holes drilled into the drywall by a myriad of sweaty strangers who would probably prefer not to be working over the holidays.

My Thanksgiving day poem: Thanksgiving comes but once a year, Thank. Fucking. God. The end. PS. This post was longer but I took out all the stuff about toilet water so that it was more relatable to the mainstream public. Unless you’re also celebrating Thanksgiving in a house that was just flooded with two inchesContinue reading “A Thanksgiving poem written from my in-laws home, which was flooded with two inches of toilet water and now has all the carpet padding torn out and giant industrial blowers deafeningly forcing wind into the holes drilled into the drywall by a myriad of sweaty strangers who would probably prefer not to be working over the holidays.”

It’s like losing James Garfield all over again. For the second time. Although technically I wasn’t alive when the world lost the first James Garfield so I don’t really know what that was like but I doubt it was as tragic as this.

So today we went to an estate sale and the person who’d owned the house had died and was awesome/completely insane. Usually when Victor and I go to estate sales Victor looks for treasures and I rifle through all the dead person’s books to see if they were the kind of person I’d hang outContinue reading “It’s like losing James Garfield all over again. For the second time. Although technically I wasn’t alive when the world lost the first James Garfield so I don’t really know what that was like but I doubt it was as tragic as this.”

Hope for Anissa

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before on this blog and I hope that I never have to do it again but I’m asking for your help. If you read this blog a lot then you already know Anissa Mayhew because she’s a regular commenter. She’s a blogger, a reader and a faithful friend.Continue reading “Hope for Anissa”

Breaking news: Waffles

My friend, Hannah, just sent me an email to alert me about breaking news on Yahoo: Holy shit, y’all. And my first thought was “I have to share this with the internets immediately because WTF, news media? Why is this a top story?!” And then my second thought is that I shouldn’t tell anyone aboutContinue reading “Breaking news: Waffles”

Japan, part 2 (ish): Tommy Lee Jones needs to mind his own business

OMG, you guys. I actually published a “part 2” to a post that I labeled “Part 1”. I think that’s the first time that’s ever happened. Is there a medal for this, or some sort of ribbon? If so, please mail one to me. Unless it’s that bullshit white participant ribbon. No one wants thatContinue reading “Japan, part 2 (ish): Tommy Lee Jones needs to mind his own business”