me: Scorpions never fall out of the sky and land on the right people.
Victor: You know, I was just saying that.
Victor: No. No one says that. That doesn’t even make any sense.
me: Well I say it. And it’s about to go on the internet. That makes it a saying. Those are the rules of the internet.
Victor: Stop talking.
me: Scorpions would be falling on you right now if the world worked correctly.
It’s Sunday, right? Which means it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and relatively safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom:
This week on the internets:
- The Houston Press did a cover story on the top ten best local bloggers and somehow I got included. I can only assume they were drunk when they wrote it. Then I screamed and stole 20 copies of the edition so that I could send it to everyone I’ve ever met. I may have over-reacted a bit. But then they did a blog post about me and my head exploded. Seriously, that’s been on my bucket list since the day I started blogging.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
Weekly wrap-up sponsored by the upcoming film, “The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo“, which looks so bad-ass it makes me want to get a tattoo. But not of a dragon. Of a puppy. BEING EATEN BY A DRAGON. Bottom line? You probably need to see this movie.
Comment of the day: Actually, I saw a scorpion fall out of the sky and land on this innocent lady. I am not kidding you. Well, technically, it wasn’t the sky. It was in church. It fell from the ceiling panels into this lady’s hair in front of me and I had to tap her on the shoulder during the holiest part of the Mass to tell her she had a scorpion in her hair. She danced around like nobody’s business trying to get that thing out of her hair. It confused everyone because I think they thought she’d been overtaken by the Holy Spirit and we’re Catholic so we don’t even give our “Amens” any gusto, so dancing because of the Holy Spirit is totally out of our reality. I often wonder if she realized it had to be a sign from God, like “Mind your P’s & Q’s, lady.” I mean, a scorpion falls onto your hair in church. That’s one step away from Jesus showing up in your pancake. ~ joann mannix