This week was a tornado filled with hammers and sequins. Beautiful and terrifying. Plus William Shatner was there. It’s kind of a long story. Let’s start the weekly-wrap-up, shall we?
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
- For my one year anniversary as a satire writer with SexIs I took over the entire site, including invading Tuesdays with Nina. Then I scared the ever-loving shit out of Victor. For real, y’all. That’s me in the pictures. He’s still pissed. Then I answered a series of spotlight questions, which was nice except that on the side of the page it says “In this note: No one.” I can’t help but feel vaguely insulted.
This week on the internets:
- MSNBC called me an “internet rock star”. William Shatner hates me even more than usual. I’ll be overpaying for travel for the rest of my life.
- I went to Marfa. It was insane. More on that later…
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- 15 unintentionally perverted toys for children.
- Old, but awesome.
- “So then I gave the octopus my gun.” You fucking asshole. (Victor wants me to make a joke here about the octopus being ‘armed’ but I’m not doing doing that because I have standards, Victor.
- Are you a “waker”?
- 50 people. One question.
- Boobquake. I’ll be there.
This week’s wrap-up sponsored by my incurably adorable friends from 5 Minutes for Mom who continue to interview me in spite of the fact that every single time we have to stop halfway through and start all over again because I accidentally say “fuck”. Honestly, it’s fucking ridiculous. Also, they’re starting this new video thing where people submit serious, soul-searching questions that their audience can answer and so I asked one about vampires. Obviously. These girls deserve medals for even dealing with me.