One day William Shatner and I are going to laugh about this. Or he’s going to poison me. One of those things.

This week was a tornado filled with hammers and sequins.  Beautiful and terrifying.  Plus William Shatner was there.  It’s kind of a long story.  Let’s start the weekly-wrap-up, shall we?

The William-Shatner-Probably-Hates-Me Edition.

    This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):

    This week on the internets:

    I'm only famous for embarrassing myself.

    This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:

    This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

    This week’s wrap-up sponsored by my incurably adorable friends from 5 Minutes for Mom who continue to interview me in spite of the fact that every single time we have to stop halfway through and start all over again because I accidentally say “fuck”. Honestly, it’s fucking ridiculous.  Also, they’re starting this new video thing where people submit serious, soul-searching questions that their audience can answer and so I asked one about vampires.  Obviously. These girls deserve medals for even dealing with me.

    38 thoughts on “One day William Shatner and I are going to laugh about this. Or he’s going to poison me. One of those things.

    Read comments below or add one.

    1. The only way that “Shit my Dad says” show is going to work is if they cast you as Shatner’s daughter. And you play a spy. Who has to rescue him from an international sugar cartel. While also having crazy adventures with your talking car.
      .-= Bridget´s last blog ..Unicorn Tears and Bret Michaels =-.

    2. Probably hates you? Yeah, I doubt that “probably” should be in there. Maybe he hates you in that good way though…..you know the whole, bad publicity is still good publicity kind of way? Yeah, probably not though.

    3. Not to alarm you, Jenny, but there’s a movement underway to have William Shatner be Governor General in Canada. That means he’d be signing laws and travelling around making cultural connections with the rest of the world and stuff. Basically, he’d be the guy representing the Queen in our government (because we still recognize the monarchy in England). So, you might have a very high level friendemy up north here…

      http://www.cbc.ca/arts/media/blogs/popculture/2010/04/william-shatner-to-boldly-go-for-governor-general.html
      .-= jenny gee´s last blog ..Updated blog =-.

    4. I’m sure he’s just really mad because they called you an “Internet Rockstar” and didn’t call him a “TV Rockstar” or a “Commercial Rockstar”. I’m sure he’ll get over it. Please make this up with him. Because I’ve kinda been crushing on him and his unique “line delivery” technique that some people call overacting, but I just think is adorable, since I was like a really little girl. And I also totally adore you. So please don’t make me choose between you. It’s just unthinkable.

      ♥Spot
      .-= Spot´s last blog ..The one where I look young and Sean *nearly* starts a zombie apocalypse =-.

    5. I left a comment on 5 Minute Mom about coveting your tiara.

      I think I’m on a list now.

      I’ll probably be searched at airports.

      More often than usual.
      .-= Lori´s last blog ..Sheep Shot =-.

    6. The bit about unintentionally perverted toys is priceless! I remember a lot of those. I can’t even count the times we’ve made fun of Mr. Bucket.

      And the kid skid-parallel parking the bike is great. Kids are fearless like that!

      Good review on the week. 🙂
      .-= Cole´s last blog ..Friday 4/23 =-.

    7. “There is not enough Viagra in the world to make a clown sexy.”
      “I want to stab you slightly less in that outfit than in the others”.

      I wish that Victor had a clown fashion advice blog. I’d follow it.

    8. It’s taken me a few years of exposure to online friends of the Burning Man persuasion to progress from “tatoos aren’t sexy at all” to “DAMN those tatoos are hot!”

      In less than two minutes, I’m made the same transition re: goth clown outfits.

      I’m not entirely sure which one of us should be more frightened [grins… *courteously*…]
      .-= Andrew Ironwood´s last blog ..Found Poem From Someone Else’s Random Text Generator Output/Filler =-.

    9. OMG! You are sooooo famous, you rock -star, you! I will be driving through Texas soon, on my way to NOLA for Jazz Fest. Can I stop by and get your autograph?
      I’ve never been on MSNBC, but one time my Best Friend Artist and I did a series of paintings with our breasts and called them Areola Gardens. We entered them in a show at a gallery, and sold them all. One of the papers got wind of it and did an article about the show. We didn’t know it, but I started getting calls from my embarrassed children, who had Googled me and the article had popped up. My husband wasn’t particularly pleased about the show, or the article, but he DID like the money.
      .-= rogueartistsspeak´s last blog ..FRIGID ART =-.

    10. OH. MY. GOD.
      OH. MY FREAKING GOD,

      Screw shatner.
      Screw victor.

      The goth clown outfit is so so completely hot.
      I don’like clowns. But THAT is H. O. T.

      Wish it were a better photograph.

    11. Actually I really all of Nina’s answers except for the cooking oil on the slip and slide because someone I know did that and the oil heated up in the sun and he burnt a nipple off. True story.

    12. What the crap at the first sentence in that article. MSNBC clearly needs to level up its sentence structure skill; I’m sensing a gearscore of, like, 2.

    13. There is so much awesomeness listed here, but two things stand out:
      A) DAMN, girl. Didn’t know about Shatner. That is impressive. I bow to the Master.
      B) I had a Growing Up Skipper, and I loved watching those boobs pop out. Boobquake, ’77.
      .-= Julie´s last blog ..It’s On Like Donkey Kong. =-.

    14. Victor is definitely correct when it comes to clown costumes. There is NOTHING sexy about clowns in any way. There never will be.

      All clowns = IT = Terrifying Nightmares.

      The Shatner thing, though – Seriously, your Twitter pick up lines were definitely hot and were obviously getting him a little too excited. Too bad he couldn’t handle it.
      .-= Tiffany´s last blog ..Start the Jew Jokes Now =-.

    15. Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving me reason to show off major boobage at work tomorrow. You should be nominated for some kind of award.
      .-= Liz´s last blog ..Boobquake 2010 =-.

    16. Dear the Bloggess,
      I love you a whole hell of a lot but would you PLEASE, for the love of God, make your links open in a new window so that I don’t have to leave your page? Especially for the weekly round up thingy. Think about it at least. Hugs & Kisses.

    17. You are a “waker” in my opinion. I feel it every time I read your blog. Thank you for being out there on the internets.

    18. That vampire question was actually pretty insightful if you think about it xD It basically asks to identify the greatest aspect of yourself. I like it 😀

    19. I love that clown porn post and how poor Victor was afraid of the clowns. It cracks me up every time I read it. Which is turning to the hundredth read.

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