This makes much more sense

Usually when you order my book on amazon it tells you that you’d probably also like to buy something ridiculous, like scissors, or a gallon of milk, or Fifty Shades of Grey.  But it seems that they’ve finally figured me out…

Suggestions for what you might want if you bought my book:

FINALLY, THEY GET ME.

In related book news I did the last #BloggessBookClub session last night and finished off by doing a live reading.  Want to see it?  (Skip to the 7 minute mark if you want to just hear the reading.)

[protected-iframe id=”8694cbeebb456cee17c9ea231b2d3a4a-58006636-3982706″ info=”http://static.livestream.com/grid/LSPlayer.swf?hash=alqlv” width=”320″ height=”265″]

**********

And on a much less commercial note, this week’s wrap-up.

What you missed on Ill-Advised:

What you missed on my sex column (relatively safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up sponsored by Sidebark, a super private place which offers personal and private sharing to stay connected with the people who matter most.  You should check it out.

115 thoughts on “This makes much more sense

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I wouldn’t buy that book. Unless it includes help for the feeble and infirm, it is not as all-inclusive as it makes itself out to be.

  2. Hmmm. I do love me some Augusten Burroughs. Might have to check that one out.

    Hope you’re all settled back in at home!

  3. Of course Forbes was nice to you! You deserve it! Everybody I tell to read your blog thanks me for introducing them because they love you so much!

  4. Decrepitude! I’ve never seen anything about overcoming decrepitude. (But it can’t be as funny as your book, so it will wait.)

  5. I am sooooo glad that I’m not the only one that hasn’t fallen into the 50 Shades of Grey insanity. Although to be fair, I suppose with enough frozen blender drinks I could probably finish reading it.

  6. Wow. You’re being compared to Augusten Burroughs. That’s fuckeduptastic.

  7. I am so sad. I lost internet access for part of the week and then my kid had one of his regularly occurring anxiety attacks and then the cat got sick and I totally missed the #BloggessBookClub. Hoping you do it again soon. Amazon keeps telling me I might be interested in “Fifty Shades of Grey” (surprise) or a game for my Kindle called “Dumb or Smart-The Test.” I think I’m mildly offended.

  8. Oh, thank you for posting the video. I meant to join the live show, but I got hung up over at Epbot reading replies to Jen’s last post for HOURS. And hours this morning too.

  9. Oh my word, bookshelf porn?! LOVE IT! My ocd mind LOVES the colour coordinated one at the top of the page. I may have to start buying random colourful books for that!

  10. 1) That live lip dub proposal is rad. Saw it when it was at 300 views (just to prove how hip I am).

    2) I just finished your book. It made me feel better about my own strange childhood. Thank you.

  11. Bookshelf porm turned me on in ways you can’t imagine!! 😀 Except that quote about girls to date should be: a girl who’s had a library card since she could write her name!

    Also, Bloggess (jenny) thanks for making me feel better about having no fucking money. It’ll get better. 🙂

  12. Ok, I love that Jenny got a shout out on goop, but did that post make anyone else want to punch GP? I hate how she rubs her charmed life in regular people’s faces under the guise of helping us.

  13. Thank you for including Bookshelf Porn. I used to have it on my favorites but, during an iPad illness, it got deleted and I forgot about it. It is so nice to know that I am not alone in my desire to sit surrounded by books, although those libraries are so out of my reality as to be truly pornographic. Also, thank you for being disciplined enough to share your writing with the rest of us. I know there are days ( weeks? months?) whe the last thing you want to do is open yourself up to observation. But you do it with such grace that you make each visit seem effortless. Thanks again.

  14. Liz D #5: Ditto. Everyone I’ve sent here has thanked me and subscribed.

    Jenny, I thank you for not only being AWESOME, but for the opportunity to meet so many other tweeps who also love you. Twitter will never be the same. <3

  15. Oh my gosh, you guys, I seriously just cried like a baby watching the Live Lip-Dub Proposal. That was fantastic. Thanks for sharing that!

  16. Lovin the links this week. I totally bookmarked the fucking weather! And OMG, those bookcases.. ENVY! The lip dub proposal leaves me teary eyed every time I watch it. Enjoyed the bookclub.. well, as much of as I got to participate in, which was very random. Thank you for bringing me up to 4 followers on twitter..lol. Honestly, I only joined it because of you, and it made my week when I got the email that said you started following me this week! ^_^

  17. The Running with Scissors movie briefly made me think that I didn’t like Augusten Burroughs. But then I read the book and it was amazing. Important lesson learned: Never judge a book by the movie that’s based on it.

    I definitely have some shyness, lushery, and decreptitude I need to overcome. Not to mention diseases. I’m pretty sure I need This is How in my life.

  18. de·crep·i·tude audio (d-krp-td, -tyd) KEY

    NOUN:

    The quality or condition of being weakened, worn out, impaired, or broken down by old age, illness, or hard use.

  19. I think you have finally gone totally over my head. I don’t think I have ever had to Google things I read here…but now? Yeah, I gotta.

    Lushery and decrepitude.

    This could totally change my life. I’m just not quite sure yet how.

  20. OH. EM. GEE. Did you read the reviews on that Tuscan Whole Milk? There are some geniuses there. It is like a literature review. I mean, you could just print out the reviews on that Tuscan Whole Milk and bind them and print them and sit around like some kind of well-read literary person, snickering to yourself. I’m laughing so much. I’m going to die.

  21. So I missed book club every night this week because I had to work. *Sad face*

    But…

    I’ve been reading back posts of yours at work and trying to hide the unattractive snorting that goes on while I’m making it look like I’m creating reports.

    So, it’s like I’ve been there in spirit.

  22. Is it bad that I sent the Star Wars/50 Shades of gray link to my husband? Right away?!?!

  23. *sob*
    I wanted to be the first on my block with a Juanita coinbag, but it’s not showing up in your store yet! *sad panda*

  24. You are the Tyler Durden of the Internet world. You bring everything crashing down.

  25. It was torturous to read everyone tweeting their conversation to you last night and not be able to watch.

    I am so excited that for only $16.22 I can overcome Spinsterhood, which is likened to Grief and Molestation. Good thing it isn’t $16.45 because then I’d be confined to grief and spinsterhood for ETERNITY.

  26. I love sweaters and wish I could have more than one sweater. Thanks for posting the link to lip-dup proposal, it was precious!

  27. I’ve heard of Augusten Burroughs… I thought from a “novel-writer” perspective. So I assume the title is tongue in cheek, and that the book is just hilarious.

    …and if they are going to recommend anything for readers of yours, it should be something funny.

  28. When taken out of the context of the movie and put into the context of p0rn, this is one of the funniest lines EVER:
    Princess Leia: You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
    So. Many. Possibilities.
    You’ve made my weekend brighter, Jenny. Thanks for that.

  29. On the Amazon UK site for your book:

    What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?

    The Boy in the River: A shocking true story of ritual murder and sacrifice in the heart of London

  30. Congrats on the shout outs from GP and Forbes. I have to say the Weather site is the funniest thing I have seen all week!!! Awesome! I saw on the Today show about Isaac’s proposal but didn’t get to watch the whole video, so kudos for linking it. I am FINALLY following you on Pinterest, it took long enough! And in other news you are still amazing!

    Lawsbians for life!

  31. Hey! It’s fucking hot where I am! Who knew (as I sit listening to my fab Lab pant so hard she’s going to turn herself inside out)? LOVE THAT FUCKING WEBSITE. As one who indulges in weather porn regularly, you just made my week. LOVE YA JENNY. Enjoyed the book club last night too!

  32. Shoot–At first I was like “Finally, that’s exacty the self-help book I need.” But on closer inspection, I see that it is by Augusten Burroughs so, while it might be very funny, it probably isn’t going to solve my problems. Darn.

  33. Dear Jenny,
    If you figure out Google +, I’ll be there. I’ve been protesting against it forever. Not even Felicia Day could get me to join Google +. But I’d join for you. If I wasn’t at work like I was for the book club…

  34. They are pretty spot on with their suggestions. I have read all of his books and your writing is very similar. I love you both!

  35. My sister is reading the “Shade of Grey” series (series? There’s more than one pile of manure out there? BTW is you check your thesaurus “shit” is not listed as an option for manure. Just noting.). If I want shades of grey I’ll stop coloring my hair.

  36. Augusten Burroughs? That’s a really good suggestion. Definitely get that along with your book.

  37. Whatever you’re using to stream that video just isnt working. It keeps pausing, keeps getting the sound out of sync with the video and is just generally annoying (tried it on both Firefox and Chrome) so I gave up sorry. You might want to try vimeo or youtube. Also, is that you now? You look nothing like your banner (or the illustrated version- I expected hair in rollers and other vintage frou frou props so I’m slightly disappointed) XD

  38. i am putting that book on my reading list (mainly for the lushery, but i think i have a few more of those diseases, too). can’t. wait. oh, and the reading was awesome. i cried and snorted (all very attractively) the first time i heard it at your san antonio reading and i just cried and snorted upon hearing it the second time.

  39. Oh. My. God. Bookshelfporn.com… I have a brand new time waster. LOVE it.

    I had fun watching your book club video last night. It was the same reading I heard you give in Boston and it was still fantastic. Bonus: I now know how you make your wine slushies. My next BBQ is going to rock.

  40. Ahhh, I love the Bookshelf porn! Three years ago I sold everything I owned (including all my books) so that I could travel around SE Asia for 3 months. My books were the only thing I had a hard time parting with, but I needed the money and I had nowhere to store them. Now I pick up books wherever I can. I have a huge bookshelf that divides my bedroom from my living room and it makes me happier than almost anything else.

    Also, I am 37-years-old and I don’t have a sweater. Although I take care of other people’s sweaters a few days a week, I have no desire to have one of my own. Yes, it does get cold sometimes, but I know what it feels like to be a sweater that is not wanted, and thus not cared for as much as it should be. Over time it begins to fray and unravel until one day there is barely anything left. It takes a long time to repair a sweater that has been neglected and not properly cared for and I would never want to do that to a sweater of my own. So, thank you for your words. The next time someone demands that I get busy trying to figure out how to get a sweater I will tell them to read that entry. Thank you…

  41. Love the Bookshelf Porn site! I would take a bus somewhere every day if there was a bus stop (like the one in the pic from Colombia) near me.
    Also, #BloggessBookClub was amazing and fun and I have new friends now!! Jenny, your generosity is boundless. Thank you!

  42. I’m totally bummed that I missed #BloggessBookClub because I thought it met weekly and not nightly. I don’t know how I screwed that up, but I’m super glad that I at least have the conversation feed to read over. I hope that you have another one soon, and that I’m not working or in class. Seriously, this whole work and grad school thing is killing even my *internet* social life. Ugh.

  43. Ok, so is there anyway to get another signed bookmark with the fantabulous Hammeister on it? I think a library book ate mine….. 🙁

  44. Never get married on reality TV with an anxiety disorder. They don’t let you hide in the bathroom. They make you have cameras in your face. Ergo, you are judged and you look drunk and disorderly because you can’t help what you do. It is even worse if you get married on the 4th of July and the other brides are mad they have to be there. My poor girls, they have to read reviews of my wedding for years- as well as deal with the fact they were in it. I think I need some bookshelf porn!!!

  45. Sweet crazy Beezus, that was a thrill to see my link there. I’m all light-headed. …Well, or that might be the wine. Well, frankly it was vodka, but wine sounds more civilized.

  46. You are so blessed to be a writer with a naturally bubbly personality that allows you to step from behind the keyboard and not only win people over with your written word, but also win them by being the total package of having an equally interesting persona. I’m taking notes from you!!! Keep it up.

  47. But did you buy it? And did Amazon “accidently” send it to you twice? Also, can we create a subgroup for lesbian lawsbians? (And another one for angry lesbian lawsbians who don’t think that’s funny?)

    I have, BTW, an extra copy of your book b/c I mistakenly but happily ordered it twice on Amazon. If anyone needs an extra copy, I’m hosting a wee giveaway on my blog. You can enter by leaving a comment:

    http://mamanongrata.com/?p=1796
    Cheers!

  48. I’ve been out of town for a few days, so I’m just catching up. I guess you’re not on your book tour because you’ve been posting a lot here!

    Thanks for the laughs. I really needed them!

  49. Your weekly wrapups are the reason I have been expanding the websites I follow. Bookshelf Porn is now added to my list of websites to read daily.
    Thanks Jenny, keep up the great work.

  50. Thank you for the archived video chat! Sooo happy, it was like I was there with ya.

    Being in Singapore, it was rare to get a chance to join the book club, and any of your book tours for that matter. 🙁

  51. Oh, and btw, TEAM VICTOR! I was really hoping he would show up in the video. He almost sounds like a unicorn! In that he is awesomesauce but rarely visible/mythical, not the horny forehead thing. OR MAYBE THAT, TOO. WHO KNOWS.

  52. The first time I tried to check the weather in my area I was intentionally vague about where I live, because you never know when it’s Big Brother trying to reel us in with awesomeness and take control of our lives through information we give out over the internet. But then the site was all, “I CAN’T FIND THAT SHIT,” and I was all, “Eff Big Brother, I really want the weather,” and? Totally worth it.

  53. I just have three words to say about The Fifty Shades of Star Wars – Han Shot First.

  54. That is my one of my favorite chapters!!! I am so sad I missed the last book club, but I am glad I was able to make it to the first one! I am rereading the book now, and planning on buying the audio version, because I want to hear it read in your voice!!! Love it! You are awesome! Lawsbian Forever!

  55. So I looked at the Amazon listing for the Tuscan Milk and if you look really carefully you’ll see that it says you can get it, “Used and New from: $44.99.”

    Used!? I really can’t imagine I would ever be that thirsty.

  56. your book needs an additional warning. something like, “warning: do not read this book at work if you want your coworkers to think you are a stable individual who deserves to keep their job”. i just read through the sex concussion and i had to step away from my desk because i couldn’t control myself from laughing; nor could i actually laugh out loud, so i was doing that weird heavy breathing out of my nostrils laugh, which makes it at least ten times more obnoxious that your coworker regularly has time to read books at her desk.

    super heart bloggess

  57. ****spoiler alert on Jenny’s book****

    For the first part of the “got my arm stuck in a cow’s vagina” story, I thought she was saying she got her arm stuck in a CROW’s vagina. So the whole time I was reading it all I could think about was how in the hell did she get her arm stuck in a bird’s vagina and is it even physically possible. Then, the last time she referred to the crow I realized it, in fact, said COW. So then my only thought was, “Ohhhhh that makes much more sense.” I think if Jenny told it to people in the way that I initially read it, it would keep people from judging her. She could just change ‘crow’ to ‘cow’ at the end and that would make the listener feel nothing but relieved. Trust me.

  58. I ordered cheap handcuffs and legcuffs off Amazon. (For a halloween party game, sort of a demented three-legged race). You would not believe what came up for the recommended buys after that! First off, there were a few items where I was stunned that Amazon sold them. They seemed to be…. errrrrr…. “specialty” shop sort of things, if you get my drift. But that didn’t bother me. It made sense in a shocking sort of way. If you’re buying restraints, maybe you’d be interested in a zipper mask too. Whatever floats your boat. What got me was that they also recommended a jumbo bag of assorted Chessex dice. These are the dice used in role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons. (Not THAT kind of role-playing, the other kind. The geeky kind.) As a gamer, it made me immediately wonder what kind of games other people are playing, and should I be worried that I am the only woman in our gaming group?

  59. Thanks for the “sweater” post. As a childfree woman, I got my fair share of pushback from people who just didn’t get that I DON’T WANT OR NEED A FUCKING SWEATER. IF I WANTED ONE, I WOULD HAVE BOUGHT ONE. Thankfully it slacked off in my thirties. But those mid-twenties, when everyone around me was having kids, ohhhhh that was tough.

  60. Clicked on the link over to Goop. Glad to see you were recommended reading however my head is steaming from the photo of GP “bedraggled working mother about to take 11 hour flight.” Come on, bedraggled working mother on her salary? Does she worry about childcare, where the next meal is coming from or how to pay the electric bill. How to get one kid to a soccer game, another to a piano lessons while your boss asks you to work late? Of course not, she has enough money to buy all the help she needs. So insulting. Arghhhhh.

  61. i have no idea how Pinterest goes, and really my only contact with it comes from the end of week wrap ups here, but i thought you fellow bloggess readers might be able to help me out-

    my very lovely boyfriend makes hand crafted iPad stands and said that it is magical whenever their photo is pinned. i feel like a twerp making such a random request, but if you are a Pinterester, i would say that this probably qualifies as Kick-ass stuff:

    http://shop.intra-stand.com/products/intra-stand-landscape-for-square

    eep!

  62. Just FYI I got your book from the library yesterday because it looked fantastic and then I was all “HOLY BALLS BATMAN IT’S THE BLOGESS” but my aunt didn’t understand. Anyways. I read the first 70 pages in a few hours and I already love it and am genuinely pissed that I can’t find it tonight to read. So fucking unhappy about this. And I refuse to read anything else because that’s how good it is.

  63. Just finished your book, and I have to say it was the funniest one I’ve read this year. I might stop reading for the year, just to keep it that way. Except I can’t hardly go a day without reading. But yeah, funniest thing this year. You are awesome.

  64. apparently, the internet filter at my school is a douche canoe. On a brighter note, I am using excerpts from your book to teach Senior English. Don’t tell the school board.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: