The FINAL final leg of the book tour!

I said I was out, but apparently I was just lying because I’ve agreed to do just one more book tour this year.  Partially I’m doing it because I want to say “Thank you” to all the wonderful people who have somehow kept this strange little book on the NYT list for the last three months.  Partially I’m doing it because I love meeting all the amazing people that are a part of my tribe.  And partially I’m doing it because they’re finally sending me to Canada!

So, here is the last leg of the North American Let’s Pretend This Never Happened Tour:

Here are the details as they come in:

Tues, Aug 7th – Toronto

Fri, August 10th – Edina MN

Sat, Aug 11th – Tempe

 Mon, Aug 13 – Denver

Tues, Aug 14 – San Diego

Wed, Aug 15 – Portland 

Thurs, Aug 16 – Seattle (8pm)

Fri, Aug 17 – Seattle (6pm)

Also, I know that some bookstores require you to buy the book from them but usually they’ll let you in line with one from another store after the people who bought the book there have gone through.  Also, I try to stay afterward in the parking lot for a ninja-quick signing (whenever I can) in case you can’t afford the book.  Just call the bookstore if you have any questions.

Thanks again for all of your support!

548 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Just when you thought you were out, they PULLED YOU BACK IN.

    PS – Minneapolis is ALMOST reasonably close to Fargo… I might actually be able to make that one

    karifur recently posted When all else fails, talk about food.

  2. When in Seattle, if you are in the mood for a quick 1.5 hour airplane jaunt, please feel free to drop in anywhere in Calgary, Alberta! (Whisper voice: “There’s even a shopping mall here that has a store filled with giant stuffed (i.e., taxidermy-style) animals, such as elk, deer, etc. I could distract the staff and you make out like gangbusters – Think Albus Dumbledeer”)

  3. Also, that’s the Barnes & Noble where I worked when I met my husband. IT’S A SIGN.

    karifur recently posted When all else fails, talk about food.


    Nic recently posted How Prada Made Me Realize I’m Bad at Being a Gay Stereotype.

  5. SHUT.THE.DOOR! Yay, you are coming to Minneapolis and, as I clicked on the link thinking for sure it would be miles away from me, it is only 10 mins away!! It is on the calendar….

    Catherine recently posted Fabric samples from Spoonflower.

  6. TORONTO!!! YAY!!! I’ll SO be there!

    Wiccandove recently posted Sterling Silver Box Chain Chainmaille Bracelet by EleganceinChains.

  7. I’m so excited you’ll be in Tempe. On the infographic Phoenix is spelled incorrectly. Just an FYI. See you August 11th!

  8. Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! You finally come to Phoenix and I’ll be gone!! I am oddly crushed now. Oh well, someday… Have a great trip (again)!

  9. I just gasped in happy suprise to see Denver on the tour! Can’t wait!

  10. Minneapolis!!! I might have to come see you!!

    Mom Off Meth recently posted My Freaky Eye.

  11. 11

    Where is this mythical land of Pheonix? =) Welcome to Canada, though! Grab all the poutine and maple syrup that you can!

  12. Still not close enough for me!

    Maybe I need to take a road trip. My kids are driving me nuts anyway.

    Jaime recently posted Random Monday: In which I discuss clingy children and drunken debauchery. Except not together cause that'd be bad..

  13. Two days in Seattle!! WOOOO

    Kim @ The Family Practice recently posted Better Than Me.

  14. My GOD! You’re basically coming to see me at work in Edina! I can’t freaking believe it, see you in August!

    You just made my day! Thanks Jenny!

  15. You’re coming to Canada? SWEET!

  16. TORONTO!!!! No way!
    I think I may have to make a trip to the city 🙂

  17. Careful when you’re doing those ninja-quick signings in the back of parking lots. In the dark. In Seattle. The zombies there are highly caffeinated.

    Rhana @ Dumb {Squared} recently posted Today, my body is a four-letter word.

  18. My husband texted me while I was at work to let me know you were coming to Changing Hands and I was so excited I let out a yelp. I cannot wait!

    Patti recently posted The Sickness.

  19. YAY!!! Minneapolis!!! Me and my metal roster, Victor, will be there!

    Emily recently posted Project {Bathroom}…still in progress.

  20. Woo! So exited you are coming to Minneapolis and it is only like, a MILE from my house! See you in August…

  21. Yahoo Phoenix!! I’ll be there with the book I already bought waiting for you to sign it, and with an anxiety pill too! 🙂

    Kate W recently posted Andrew and Angela at Crescent Moon Ranch in Sedona.

  22. you thrilled me and disappointed me all in ten seconds.
    coming to canada YAY!!!!
    toronto? booooooooooo!
    the west coast is nicer 😉

  23. Minneapolis! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Sharon recently posted Feisty the Seal.

  24. Bah….no east coast cities. Also Phoenix is spelled wrong on your flyer…..Yeah I am a spelling/grammar nazi.

  25. Whenever the Canadians say something you don’t understand, just say “Canuck canuck canuck, eh?” I hear that works.

    Amy recently posted 5 Wine Accessories and Wine Gifts You Can’t Live Without.

  26. I’m no where near those places but who’s up for a road trip?!

    Queen of All Things Good recently posted It Takes One To Know One.

  27. Boo! What about the Midwest? You know Ohio is the “heart” of the country? One more tour!

  28. But Toronto is so far away 🙁

  29. OMG Minneapolis yay!! You’re doing a reading right?!

  30. sad not to see Albuquerque on the list. Denver is just to far. Oh well, one of these days people will know New Mexico really IS a state and it doesn’t require a passport to visit 😉

  31. Omg your so close to Anchorage. Why didn’t they send you my way??? It breaks my heart a little.

  32. I spent a week reading every single blog post. And then I read the book. And now I get to meet you in Minneapolis! Woot wiot

  33. Oh yah, you betcha, I feel so lucky! 17 days and counting until you meet the best friend you didn’t know you had. In my head we’re tight. In fact, I’m daydreaming right now about how much fun we’ll have at our slummber party because of course, you’re going to stay with me while you’re in Minneapolis. I’ll even have my brother bring over some mounted deer and fish to make you feel extra comfortable. Can’t wait!

  34. ACK! You’re coming to my hometown the weekend I have to be away visiting my mother-in-law! Pretty sure I will be feeling a flu coming along the morning of the fifteenth, which will miraculously be gone by the morning of the 17th. After the rest of the family has left.

  35. I feel a road trip coming on. . .

    Denise Malloy recently posted Exaggeration – It’s All in the Family.

  36. 36

    Portland! Yaaaaaaaaaay! *Kermit flail*

    Although, I’m giving Powell’s the stink-eye for holding your “Portland” signing way the frak out in Beaverton. Oh well, for you Jenny, I’ll make the trek.

  37. It’s about damned time you make it to Portland! It’s on my calendar now…I can’t wait!

    Jo recently posted Therapy Thursday.

  38. Did someone say you are coming to Toronto? I’m probably not going to go, unless you can promise me that nobody will be in line in front of me. You can’t? Fuck, okay, I’ll maybe camp out for a few days in front of whatever stadium this is in. What? You’re not filling the stadium formerly known as Skydome? Bah. Can you tell that I’m only commenting to get your discerning fans toi come and check out my pitiful blog? You can? You are so damn smart. Okay, love you, bye bye,

    Birdman recently posted Out Of Focus.

  39. Going to Toronto does not mean you’re touring through Canada 🙁 Cue major, major disappointment on my end!

    I wish you the best of luck on the tour though, and hopefully I’ll get a chance to say hi at BlogHer since I live about a million miles from Toronto 😉

  40. Do you think that the staff would give me the stink-eye if I brought my Kindle for you to sign?

  41. My words, I can’t even, what can I say….YOU ARE COMING TO TORONTO!
    OH MY GOD!!! I want to go to there!

    See you soon, Honey!

    Monica recently posted Kniterary Night - June 2012.

  42. I’ll tell my mother she needs to go or I’m not taking care of her when she gets old. Also, PARIS. It needs you.
    xx JNSQ

    Shannnon recently posted Why you should never own an expensive car in France.

  43. For this, I will drive to Toronto (or possibly take the train, as I hate driving in that city!) 🙂

  44. Ummm… sorry Faithe but Minneapolis IS the Midwest, and as much as I feel your pain every other time she’s posted and it’s not been my city, I can’t help but feel ECSTATIC that she’s finally coming here!

    Can I get a woot woot and a creepy flailing happy dance! See you soon! 😀

  45. DENVER! It says DENVER!! That’s us!!! @thebloggess is coming to Denver & CANADA!! From the Rocky Mountains: Let it be written. Let it be said: My Let’s Pretend This Never Happened book shall bear Jenny Lawson’s autograph.” See you, Jenny!

  46. Denver! Thank you baby jesus!

  47. Quick Ninja signings? You are so very awesome!

    tokenblogger recently posted Sometimes the best laid plans….

  48. If you are near one of these locations and are undecided as to whether or not you want to make the drive, DO IT. You just sit around while Jenny reads you books. It’s awesome.

    breanne recently posted Grammar and Livestock.

  49. Unfortunately I don’t have money to fly anywhere I want any time I want 🙁

    One of these days I WILL see you live though.

    *Shakes fist at budget*

    Heretic Husband recently posted An Open Letter to Jared Wilson.

  50. Pheonix?

    Skip that one. It’s a fake place.
    Come to the east coast instead. Someplace nice, like Lancaster, PA.

    The Defiant Marshmallow recently posted They Really Liked Me!.

  51. But what about Finland? Are you really gonna skip the only AAA-rated country in the Euro zone? Surely not!

    Andreas Heinakroon recently posted The limbic society.

  52. You are coming to DENVER! SQUEEEEEEEEE!!!!

    Shawn Walter recently posted Sunday Accomplishments, or Not.

  53. I was almost disappointed when I heard your were coming to Canada, but not out west until I realized that I just happen to be traveling to Toronto while you are there! Maybe I can squeeze in a side trip…

    PaisleySnail recently posted Dealing with sadness.

  54. 54
    Carl Strauser

    ::dances around::

    What to wear? What to wear? What to wear?

    Can’t wait to meet you in Minnesota!

  55. You are coming to Portland!!!! Or more specifically, Beaverton!! That is where I grew up and the Powell’s I grew up going to! I will BE there! I’m so excited! Best start to the day in a long time! On a side note, that is a lot of exclamation points, yikes, but I am excited! And one more for good measure. (c:

  56. I haven’t made it to any of your book signings. Mainly because I’m a loser. I was PLANNING to go…but what I REALLY want to do is sit down and have a glass of wine with you. Anything else would be a letdown. I don’t want to SEE you…I want to TALK to you. Stalkerish, I know. I just bought the audiobook of Let’s Pretend. I already have the Nook book but I thought it might be super-hilarious to hear you read it. And I had $20 or so burning a hole in my pocket, apparently. So, we’ll see how that works out…

    People love you. I hope you understand what an impact you make. There are about 50 bajillion people out here who think you are simply divine. And the bomb diggity. And there is something amazing in YOU that makes us think that maybe…just maybe…there is something amazing in us, too. Thank you, Jenny Lawson, for being awesome.

  57. Argh still no Ohio. Hopefully on the tour for your next book then. 🙂

    Jordan recently posted How Some Colorful Cupcakes Came To Be.

  58. All you people who keep asking Jenny to come to your town:
    She doesn’t have a lot of control over where she goes. If you want her at A Bookstore Near You,
    get up a petition, get a bazillion signatures and MAIL IT TO HER PUBLISHER. Better yet, find a local bookstore who would be willing to host the petition and Jenny’s signing, and have them send in the signatures.
    Defiant Marshmallow- I’ll work on Pittsburgh if you work on Lancaster (Jenny does Amish Country would totally be a great ad slogan.)

    Kathy P in Pittsburgh recently posted Cat Wars, Day 500+; Detente?.

  59. Well crap. Toronto is far away 🙁

    It’s not FAIR! *cries*

    Robyn recently posted It’s been a while….

  60. OMG TORONTO! I read this while talking to my bff on the phone. I nearly started to cry. She thought I was joking. Tears of all that is awesome I say. Totally going to be there! Thank you thank you thank you!!!

    RobbynW recently posted A Midnight Muse and Gumball Green Christmas!.

  61. Oh, Portland! Technically Beaverton, which is even better! So looking forward to meeting you Jenny. My wife just finished your book, and now she’s a big fan too.

    John Lewis recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  62. As someone else already said, excited and disappointed all at once. Yay for coming to Canada, but Toronto only? Canada is HUGE and there are a few other places that might have loved to see you.I won’t go into details on what it takes to get to Toronto from the West Coast.

  63. OH MY GOD! You’re in Minneapolis ON MY BIRTHDAY. What a fabulous fucking birthday present I get this year! WOOHOO!!!

    Jess recently posted I'm not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV).

  64. 64
    Leslie in Toronto

    HOLYCRAPHOLYCRAPHOLYCRAP!! Yay! You are finally coming to Toronto!!!

  65. TORONTO!! Woot woot!! This made my day!

  66. Soooo freaking excited that you are coming to Toronto!! YAY!

  67. Minneapolis!!!!!!! HOORAY! I am so freaking excited. *Kermit Flail*

  68. Seriously, who spells Phoenix “Pheonix”? Aside from that, congratulations!

    Roberta recently posted Maiden Voyage: THE MOVIE!.

  69. Spelling police: You spelled Phoenix wrong. 🙂

  70. I may have gotten a little over-excited…sorry. 🙂 Promise to try to be civilized or some shit.

    PS: Husband says “how’s she going to fit that many people in the bathroom?”

    Jess recently posted I'm not a sex therapist, but I play one occasionally (Not on TV).

  71. I imagine someone has pointed this out already, but Phoenix is misspelled. Just go with Tempe, since it looks like that’s where you’re actually going.

    My sister (who introduced me to you) can go see you in Minneapolis and my other sister can see you in Arizona!

  72. 72
    Justin Mantell

    Let me know if you have time to do dinner/lunch/drinks with Mary and I when you’re in Tempe. The book was very good, btw.

  73. I totally thought that said Ninja Singings, and I tried to imagine what songs ninjas sing. Yay for Denver! Let the Ninjas Sing!

  74. Hey! You’re all up in my business! Or city! Same thing!

    Jeni recently posted Three worst theme songs in kids’ TV.

  75. I’m guessing you are going to Portland, Oregon–not Portland, Maine. Just so you know, our Portland is just as cool as theirs.

    Lisa Sinicki recently posted Community, World Records and Umbrella Covers.

  76. Yay! You’re finally coming to Denver – now I just need to find a way to miss my son’s first day of school so I can be there…

  77. Still no Detroit;(

  78. 78
    Miss Kitty

    OMG!! I just jumped up at my desk and started dancing when I read you are coming to Tempe!! OMG I am soooo excited! I think I may have to make you some brownies!!

  79. DAMMIT! I can’t get to Toronto that day.


  80. I am so mad I could spit! Literally! UGH! The day you are coming to my city is the day I am leaving on a family vacation! WHY?????

    I have an autograph from you on the inside cover of my book, but it’s a sticker you mailed to me! How I’d love to have you sign it for real too! This is by far the most enjoyable book I’ve ever read. I will pick it up and just turn to a page and start reading so I can get some good giggles on a stressful day.

    You have been such a support for me while I was going through being laid off my last job and finding a new one. Having a place I can go and check out of the real world and laugh so hard people look at me funny in public places is priceless!

    Enjoy your one day in Portland OR! It’s a great place and the people here will treat you well!

    LeAnnWoo recently posted Excited!.

  81. Please please please – why not Vancouver on Aug 18th??? I could actually be there!! PLEASE!! I’ll make you cookies??

  82. You`re coming to Toronto! Fantastic. I am so there!

  83. Phoenix is spelled wrong. Also, I may take 8/10 off work to drive 4 hours to get a photo with you!

  84. YES!!! I just got teary when I saw you were coming to Minneapolis! That bookstore is only a couple of miles from me. I am SO EXCITED!!!! You have made my weepy morning into a joyfully giggly morning. Thank you!!!

  85. Seattle twice and still NO PHILLY!?!?!

  86. Toronto is your only Canadian stop?! Boo! You are SO getting cheated; Canada has so many great cities…..Montreal being the best, of course (ahem). If you were coming to Montreal, I would call in sick to work (cough, cough) and would be the first in line. I’d even buy your book again if I had to and give my current to copy to someone else to love.

    Kat recently posted My two loves: internet and reading.

  87. Minneapolis! Yes, so excited!

  88. Ok need to figure out how to get myself inToronto for August 7.

  89. 89

    The Hell? Have you even been close to Springfield, Missouri?! We have great cupcakes, we have a million thrift stores and we even have the Laura Ingalls Wilder Homestead like forty miles north (I’ve been, it’s magical)! My husband will not ok a trip to see you, apparently I blew that chance when I got all “stabby” about not letting me go to the Dog the Bounty Hunter book signing. Le sigh…

  90. i love you!!!!!!!! thank you thank you thank you for coming to seattle. i can’t wait to see you and have you sign my boob… i mean book 🙂

  91. Yay San Diego!!! I’ll see you on the 14th.
    Though I’ve already purchased a digital copy of your book and have read it twice over 🙂 , I shall glady buy a real copy and have the chance to say hi in person!

  92. I just noticed it starts at 7pm. Is it possible, or totally unacceptable, to show up late? How long does it usually last? I really, really want to see you, but am unlikely to get there until somewhere btwn 7:30 and 8pm. So…how insulting is it to show up that late?

  93. Yeah! I get to see you in August – I am so totally happy right now! I know there will be a bazillion people there but I will go and try not to freak, if you can do it so can I!

  94. Edina?! You should come to Minneapolis. 🙂

    jesspants recently posted Sounds like I missed an awesome party!.

  95. I saw this Epic Battle of Badass last night and thought of you. My wife and I will be in Portland for your signing. While you are in Portland go to the Montage to have the best Mac and Cheese ever and be witness to the eternal Epic Battle of Badass.

  96. Still no Las Vegas!!! So sad but at least I already have an autograph. Have fun!!!

  97. Squeeee!!! You’re coming to Seattle!!!!

  98. 98

    Come to the UK Jenny – your book is loved here. And I am making (and possibly frightening) friends just talking about advert-ponies and Hunter S Thomcat.
    Although if you do, DO NOT be fooled into just going to London and Edinburgh. Seriously, Manchester is where ‘it is is at’ because it rains more often so we have MORE TIME TO READ.
    Thank you. xxx

  99. See you in Denver! Yea!

  100. Why…oh why…aren’t you coming to Ohio???

  101. If I read this right, you’re signing books at Costco in Seattle! Funny…I clicked on that second link and thought for sure you’d be at that literary crossroads Third Place Books in Lake Forest Park just outside Seattle. But no matter. We’ll find you somewhere between the six-packs of hot-water heaters and the 3-ton packages of orzo! 🙂

    Christina recently posted Trip to England, Part 5: Blackbirds.

  102. Thank the gods! You’re finally coming to Colorado!!! Be prepared however, you may never want to leave. The beauty is breathtaking and there are more animals to taxidermy here than in any other state (except maybe Alaska, but DAMN, who wants to go there?)! You really will love it and I will be at the signing to make you feel welcome! Despite that, I hope you feel welcome anyway…

  103. Woot! Woot! You’re coming to Denver! Can’t wait!!!

    Liz D recently posted Happy 1st Anniversary Kristen & Stacy!.

  104. Las Vegas is a nice stop over between Denver and Phoenix. Maybe a book signing in the airport on a long layover? We have slot machines in the restrooms when you need to take a break.


  105. *sigh* Still no Indiana…Oh well. Maybe next book!

    Chris Dean recently posted Super Model Day!.

  106. OMG! Seattle! Please tell me you’ll be here a while cause I don’t get off work till 6pm!

  107. 107
    Heather C.

    Aieeeeeeee! Yay for the Toronto visit! I can’t wait!

  108. OMG…. you’re coming to the Devil’s Perineum.
    PHOENIX. I meant Phoenix.

    Banana Stickers recently posted Motherfucking Snickerdoodles.

  109. I may cry…wait..I AM crying at the thought of meeting you in Toronto!! oh my oh my oh my I never imagined it could happen!!

  110. Hooray! Horrah! Yippee! I’ll see you in Denver August 13th! You’ve made my day!

  111. SOOO happy that you are foolish enough to visit Phoenix in the summertime!!! See you August 11th!

  112. I saw Portland and got excited that you were coming to Maine, and then I realized it was probably Portland, Oregon. Bummer!

  113. Yay Portland! (And Seattle!) 🙂

    Shannon recently posted Goblins, again.

  114. wargh! You’re coming to San Diego to the B&N right near me and I’m going to have just left back to college and work. Darn my luck!

  115. Oh my goodness!!!! Portland!!! I’m going to have to suck it up and actually purchase a book there, me thinks. (I borrowed mine from the library, since we are on a tight budget!)

    Julia recently posted #whenjesuscomestothedoor.

  116. YAY Denver!!!!! I cant wait!

  117. I just screamed at my bff via text message! I am so excited to meet you, I can’t even stand it!!!

  118. Holy SHIT! The one week I’m going to be in Seattle and YOU’RE THERE TOO!
    I must go! This is so awesome!

  119. Oh sadness! I wish you were coming to SOMEWHERE in Kansas….
    Brilliant blog… can’t wait to read the book!

  120. Jenny! I was like Kayte (waaaay above) and thought CANADA F-yea! And then as usual…. saw Toronto as the only Canadian city…. and then a glimmer of hope… SEATTLE is on the list! It’s about a 2.5 hour drive from Vancouver… give or take the border wait.
    Wish I could entice you to Van City for some wine slushee’s, and then flea markets on Saturday! That said, I’m pretty sure that if Seattle is my only chance to meet you, it’s gotta happen.
    ps- thanks for being oh-so-inspiring.

  121. You’re coming to Portland! I make this offer to you. We have Voodoo Donuts here ( I will pick up a dozen donuts of your choice if you drop me an email and let me know what you want. I’ll even wrap the box in twine. 🙂

    Thomas Duff recently posted Book Review - Data Jujitsu: The Art of Turning Data into Product by DJ Patil.

  122. 122
    Jennifer Becker

    Dear Jenny,
    Please write another book. Then have another crazy book signing tour and come to Sonoma County in California. We have crazy amounts of wine here! You know what that means!

  123. My heart is breaking right now. You’re coming to my neck of the woods RIGHT AFTER I MOVE AWAY! *sigh*

    I’ll keep my fingers crossed that you’ll come out to Tucson for some reason.

  124. Phoenix = ‘o’ before ‘e’ ;]

  125. Yes!! You’re finally coming to Arizona! A day before my birthday too! I can’t wait meet you!

  126. Yeah!!! You are comming to Minneapolis. And right down the street from my office, I’ll be there at like 5:15….lurking. OMG, OMG, OMG!

  127. FREAKING OUT that you’re coming to Portland!!!

    Changing my Birthday plans since the following day is my 21st!! If only it was the day following…we could share Xanax infused wine slushies and be best friends.

    Stefanie recently posted So Conflicted.

  128. Aw man.. I’m away on vacation when you’re coming to Toronto.. sad face.

    Alison recently posted Candles (Taken with Instagram at Vaughan Estates).

  129. I am so excited you’re coming to Seattle! My husband and I have both listened to your audio book several times, usually while driving, and thank heavens we haven’t crashed the car (yet). Huzzah!

  130. That’s the ONE DAY I work twelve hours, 9am-9pm about 30 miles north of Toronto. Unless I can bribe someone to take my place or hire a flying broomstick, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. Unless you’re still hovering in the parking lot after 10pm, of course.

    This makes me so sad. I would have loved to give you a big hug.


  132. Holy. Moley. YAY!!! I am sooooo stalk… I mean coming to Edina, MN, to see you! I saw that on your tour sheet, shrieked and scared my kids, haha! It will be awesome.

    Alyssa recently posted Something to make Sunday better....

  133. Hurray!!! San Diego scores!!! Can’t wait to see you!!!!

  134. As a Canadian, I LOVE that you are coming to Canada but I wish you were coming to more than just Toronto 🙂

  135. Oh Emm Gee! 2 days in Seattle!!! My dreams have come true!!!! You just made my day Jenny, please know this! I have been depressed for days, nothing to look forward to. Today you gave me something to look forward to! Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!

  136. Really, Minneapolis? Really!!! This is fantastic news. So very close to me, yeah!
    However, argh…and this is the only time I will ever say this….but I wish it wasn’t girl’s weekend that particular time! I will be far, far away from home hanging with some of my dearest friends, completely unable to get my book signed!
    Have a great time here in Minnesota!

  137. I am thoroughly pouting for at least a week that they are not sending you to Vancouver. Total bullshit

    Carmen recently posted Remember that time I lost my keys for a week?.

  138. i’m literally throwing up…i’m out of town when you are in MN

  139. YESSSS TORONTO!! This has just made my day!! (although you should come to Montreal too!)

  140. i’m a wee bit disappointed that you aren’t coming close enough to Pensacola, but perhaps I can get a friend to stand in line in Seattle for me! Have fun!

  141. Um? Thanks for coming to Seattle and all, but I’ll be a week post-op from my knee replacement so I won’t be able to see you … wahhhhhhh! On the other hand it’s great news for all those other commenters who kept begging you to come to Seattle, so it’s all good. I hope the sun shines on your visit here!

    Bubbe recently posted Tea for Tw…uh, Thirteen.

  142. Oh Poo!

    You said you were coming to Canada but Toronto is the only location. 🙁

    You need to come to Calgary so you can take a short hop to Torrington to visit the Gopher Hole museum.

    It’s stuffed animal FUN!

  143. TORONTO! Oh man! Oh MAN! Must…use…my…book..connections…to…high…five…you!

  144. Yeah!!!! You’re coming to Phoenix! Be prepared for the heat!

  145. Dammit, when you are in Toronto I will still be in Korea. *head* *hit* *keyboard*

    Please tell it hello for me?

    Meg recently posted Winter is Coming… to kill me..

  146. ERMEGHERD MINNEAPOLIS!!!!! I just screamed really loud…in my office…at work and then almost passed out. FYI-bad idea to scream in the office when you work in security. Apparently, screams of joy and screams of being axe-murdered sound very similar. Oops.

  147. Eeeee! Seattle! But am I reading it right that your second Seattle stop is in a Costco? I guess they do have bargain sized bathrooms…

  148. Yay yay yay!!! You’re coming to MN! I’m SO EXCITED!

  149. Still no Detroit. Boo hiss. But I see you are going to “Pheonix” – where’s that? 🙂

  150. Thank you Jenny!!! I’ll be there if not both for SEATTLE!! You should be at the store on 85th street that has a whole parking lot of Beyonce metal chickens. If you signed there, that would be HILARIOUS!

    Rebecca Gallagher recently posted Am I Fat?.

  151. You need to come to Alaska! Even Anchorage’s airport has freaking stuffed animals all over the place. Taxidermy is a big thing up here.

  152. You’re coming to Toronto!! It’s as though you personally answered my plea’s!! I can’t wait!! I’ll be there with bells on. And whistles. Possibly jumping up and down. But probably not cos that would be annoying.

  153. Hoo-rah!!! I’ll see you at Powells in Portland on 08/15! Are there any limits on things you willing to sign that are not books?

    Karen Snow Drake recently posted Another Wildlife Habitat Bites The Dust.

  154. Get yo ass over to the UK, we Brits love your humour. 🙂

    Claire J recently posted Sliding Across International Borders…Again.

  155. 155

    YYYYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!! And 2 in Seattle?! Just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I already do . . . Would it be weird if I went to both? No, wait, don’t answer that. If you say that it is weird & I show up to both anyway, that’s even weirder than just coming to both without knowing whether you think it’s weird or not. Got it? Great! See ya soon!!

  156. Portland?! I love you so hard right now! I’m so excited, I never thought this was going to happen! We’ll be sure to put a bird on it for you!

  157. Our living room is still available for a book signing! 😉 I’ll make Rotel Dip, Margarita’s and I can borrow some taxidermy from my father. Well, maybe not. He is super protective of his deer and jakalope.

    Dress code will be uncoordinated PJ’s only. Tops and bottoms REQUIRED. And if you wear the bottom on the top and top on the bottom – and be DECENTLY covered – I might break out in SONG.

    Have a safe trip and stay calm. We all love you but know you get over whelmed by it all. Role models and heros come in all forms and with all kinds of thier own problems – but that is why we love them so. They make us feel normal.

  158. You should update this post after the tour with a photo of the leg/legs (let’s not discriminate against paraplegics) of the very last fan given an autograph.

    The final leg of the tour.

    Sometimes I impress myself with my genius, other times I question my sanity. It’s definitely a bit of both this time.

    Christine recently posted The Ass has Relocated.

  159. AHHHHHHAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! SOOOOOO very happy!!! and I totally have not bought the book yet becuase I was waiting on the library copy BUT now that you are actually coming to Portland I am going to not only buy it but stand in line! (and lines I do not do). yay!!!! and Thank you!! whew, enough exclamation points already.

  160. Happy to see you are coming to AZ! Try not to melt while you are here! 🙂

  161. So sad you’re not on this side of the country, but I understand… us southerners have to share you with the rest of the US (and now canada too… ) Oh well. Have a fun trip.

    Keaven Neely recently posted Ode to my Hoodies.

  162. NOT FAIR! You’re coming to Seattle when I’ll be out of town. Truly sad about this.

  163. Holy shit!!

    You are coming to Toronto!! And I think I have my MRI that day that will leave me toilet bound for the day.


    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted Long Distance Movers: Scams, Bullshi* & What You Should Know.

  164. Woo hoo!!! Portland!!!! Can’t wait, I’ll be there!

  165. Woo-hoo! You are coming to Minneapolis! *happy dance*

    Danielle recently posted 50 Things you never wanted to know about me but I'm going to tell you anway..

  166. great, it’s the only place in the universe..i mean canada what happened to halifax or vancouver?? the other ends of the country…would have loved to pop by if you were in halifax

  167. My day just took a fabulous turn. Am very excited that you are coming to the Portland area and even more excited that it’s actually a day I’m not working 12 hrs and would not be able to attend! I will be there, once again tempting the same fates that took the edge off the awesomeness of attending Wil Wheaton’s Wootstock last year. It’s a long story lol. Maybe I’ll have to put it in a book.

  168. Guess I’m making an unplanned trip to Seattle…

    Crack You Whip recently posted Got Choco-Choco Chips?.

  169. Fuck yeah. Welcome to Seattle! I will be at one of the two of them. I’ll be the terrified person who does not speak to you.

    Meredith Bland recently posted There’s a reason I’m not in customer service.

  170. *squee* I will see you in San Diego baby!!! WOOT!

  171. You signed my chicken, Ben Affleck, in LA…but I didn’t want to be all greedy and shit, so I didn’t have you sign my book too…and now YOU’RE COMING TO SAN DIEGO. This is very exciting. My book and I will be there! I’ll probably leave Ben at home this time. He’s not a fan of crowds.

    Legally Delish recently posted Why I’m a crappy daughter.

  172. 172

    While in Seattle you won’t be far from Home & Garden Art: they make Beyonce’s there! I drove by one day and almost got into an accident by slowing down to gawk.

  173. SO EXCITED! I’m moving south to Seattle JUST IN TIME FOR YOUR TOUR. So we’ll pretend that’s the reason for the move. Yay!

    Sequins (C Marcia) recently posted Sequins: One Week Left.

  174. 174
    Debs (Findawe)

    Be a rebel and smuggle kinder eggs!
    Also, I second comment 98 – come to the UK! Come to Oxford, that’s where we keep all our old stuff, some of it’s bound to be taxidermied.

  175. I’m in Seattle now!! 🙂 Which means that I can meet you!! How exciting!!

    AND I WILL BUY THE BOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

    You need to post tons of pics of the tour!!

    Btw, super congrats on your success and book tour :))

  176. YAY!!!!!!! Minneapolis. Well…Edina anyway. YAY!!!!!!!

    Bridget recently posted Update on Never Seconds blog.

  177. So CLOSE! Yet… SO FAR!!!
    Mmmkay, your last stop of the tour is Seattle on a Friday. What’s adding Saturday in Vancouver? They’ve got the BEST bra shopping there. I’m taking my girls there on Saturday, Aug 18 (from Victoria) for some summer boulder-holder adventures. Commmmmmmonnnnnnnnnnnn!

    Jenna / liveformemories recently posted Project 366 - the wonderful things in life - Day ??.

  178. Seattle finally!! Thank you! Thank you! Off to book a babysitter. Can’t wait!

  179. All the U.S. folks who are disappointed you’re not coming to their town can now Blame Canada…
    (Said perhaps a tad too smugly by someone whose town you have already visited.)

  180. Will Jefferson Peabody be attending as well?

    Something Authorly recently posted Unleash The Power Within Yahoo Comments.

  181. I wish you were coming back down to Miami! I missed you last time 🙁

    Jenn @therebelchick recently posted How do you have the period talk with your daughter?.

  182. If you need a place to stay while in Denver, I am totally available to kidnap you and you can stay at my place. It’s not fancy and you’ll have to deal with brain-eating cats and an evil husband, but it’s quiet and in the mountains-ish. Ditto if you are all, “Oh, I wish there were someone to show me around town and take me out for meals and crap like that.” I volunteer. My driving is only moderately scary and I don’t really get lost too often.
    See how great it is to have a cult following?

  183. While in Toronto, be sure to wonder by the fun store located at King and Yonge. There is a giant metal Penguin and Horse in the window. 🙂

  184. So, you’ll be at Costco for a signing? Odd place, but I’ll be there. Try not to look too hot, there’s a Home Depot across the parking lot and we don’t want the contractors to get distracted

  185. Omgomgomgomgomgomg you are coming to Portland and to the powells nearest my house!!! You will actually be in Beaverton, which I thought you might enjoy knowing. I am going to get brave and come. I have your book on my nook though…can I just take a photo and not have you sign something….is that allowed?

  186. One word: HAWAII. Come on, you know you want to.

  187. OMG you’re coming to Minneapolis! I’m coming to see you!

    First time poster, finally stopped lurking.

    You’re coming, YAY!

  188. Woo-hoo!! I’m in Portland Oregon and didn’t think we’d get you here. Can not wait to meet you at the book signing. 🙂

  189. Somebody please fix the spelling of Phoenix. It’s hurting my eyes. Please oh please oh please!

  190. Yay!!! Canada!!! I love Canada!! Especially Toronto, although I do agree you should go to Montreal. I visited & stayed with my Aunt. I wish I had stayed forever…. When are you going to visit England??? Mainly, Norwich?? It’s like England’s equivalent to Texas! You would totally love it!!! Please visit???? How many more question marks & exclamation marks do you need to realise I am serious????!!!!!!!!!!!

    Samwhiteoak recently posted New Theme: Balloons.

  191. Oh my fucking god you’re finally coming to Seattle? I cannot wait…

    Taryn recently posted Weekend pictures.

  192. Toronto! Thank goodness! You made all of the crap in my day (and today there was alot of it!) disappear! I am booking my train ticket and the day off. Thanks. Would you like me to bring you a maple donut from Tim’s? My daughter who travels throughout the world says she’s knows she is home in Canada when she has a maple donut. It’s the only place that, according to her, has the real thing. So I will bring you one as a small thank you for all you do!

  193. Meeting you was probably the highlight of my summer. I frequently read excerpts from your book to my dog. He hates all of the cat references but finds my repeated giggling amusing.

    Amanda recently posted "LIfe is a Daring Adventure or Nothing At All" ~Helen Keller.

  194. YES!!! You’ll finally be in Seattle! My parents will be in from TN that weekend, but I’m *SO* dragging them out with me. I mean, they don’t have a Costco in TN, and Costco is like Disney World to them, so I’m calling it a WIN WIN.

  195. Woo Hoo! I will be there in Edina, MN to see you! Can not wait….

    PS Thought you might want this. DOCTOR WHO BUNNIES. But I don’t have your email.

  197. I’m totally giggling at all the people who say Toronto is Canada! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sweet, sweet, adorable people, I love you all. You know, you could talk to your book-tour-people (you have people, right?) can tell them that Vancouver is only 3 hours away from Seattle and it’s part of Canada too…..that’s be cool!

    Also, Jefferson Peabody is freaking adorable!!!!

    Christy recently posted ...this moment.....

  198. and for Tina, who’s post is above mine – DOCTOR WHO BUNNIES?!?!?!? What sweet HEAVEN is this?!?!?!?!

    Christy recently posted ...this moment.....

  199. Seattle. Seattle! SEATTLE!!! Yay. The Bloggess is coming to Seattle. And not only that she’ll be five minutes from my house!!!! YAHOOOOOOOOOOO!

  200. OH. EM. GEE!!!! You’re coming to Portland!!! I am so excited to see you! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I have many friends here in the City of Wierd that are ardent followers.. We’ll be there to support you! 🙂 Theresa

  201. The average temperature in Phoenix in mid-August is 109. At least you’ll be at the bookstore in the evening. But don’t go sight-seeing during the day without parking in the shade or putting a towel over the steering wheel. Or insist the rental company give you a windshield shade.

    You’ll thank me when you don’t scald the skin off your hands trying to drive.

    Sue recently posted Why I take Body Combat.

  202. Getting out of Texas just as it’s getting OMG HOT!!! I see. Good for you! 🙂

    I totally <3 Seattle and Portland.

    Kelly at Cibatarian recently posted A new happy hour.

  203. My daughter and I will be at the Tempe, AZ signing, but I was bummed to find out that you can’t buy a ticket separate from buying another copy of the book. They said, “Well, they make great gifts” when I called. And although that is true, I don’t really KNOW anyone personally that is on this wave length to gift one to. So we will be there, but I guess there’s no guarantee we will get in or get my book signed.

  204. Whoohoo, Minneapolis! Why that’s practically next-door to St. Paul. And it’s one of the few weekends between now and Sep. 1 I’ll actually be here!

    I’m afraid they may need to get someplace a little bigger (like the Target Center arena).

  205. I used to live just outside Tempe. Dang! So when are you coming to the UK?

  206. Well…shit. I was just at Powell’s not one weeks ago!! I’m sad now. So sad. 🙁

    Btw, I TOTALLY recommend staying at The Nines in downtown Portland. It’s so pretty it’s what I’d imagine staying inside a lifesize version of Tiffiany’s box would be like. I really think you and Wolf Blitzer could do some UH-MAIZ-ING things with the naked manikins and chaise lounges that adorn the lobby. Oh, and there is a for realz ANTLER CHANDELIER in The Library…and a pool table. Wolf Blitzer needs to play pool.

  207. SEATTLE FOR TWO DAYS. YAY. We lucked out!

  208. SAN DIEGO! Whew! I’ve been trying to think of the most nonchalant, cool-person way to beg you to come here. Thanks for saving me the trouble. Calendar marked.

    Melanie recently posted Your Words Matter. Don’t Be a D*ck With Them..

  209. ‘Bout freaking time you added a Portland stop! Lots of Pacific NW <3 and laughter for you!

  210. Are you seriously signing books ar Costco in Seattle? That makes less sense than usual.

  211. OhMyGosh! I’m so excited that you’re coming to Toronto! Best news ever!

  212. So this means I either have to drive to Toronto or Minneapolis if I want to stalk you. Man, stalking is hard work. There is a spot between Toronto and Minneapolis, it is called MICHIGAN. Try it sometime. 😀 Good luck on the final leg of your tour.

  213. YAY!!!! You’re coming to Seattle! I’m so excited! I’m buying a second copy of the book because the first copy is an e-copy and I’m going to be replacing my e-book cover sooner rather than later, so it would be dopey to have you sign that. 😉

  214. So close!!! Are you sure you don’t want to swing up to Vancouver after Seattle? Pretty please? I’ll make nachos!!!!


  216. OH EM GEE!!! FINALLY!!! You’re coming here – San Diego – at last!! Marking calendar now – making it a “busy” day on my work calendar! *SQUEEEEE!* So excited!!! (bet you can’t tell)!!

    YAY!!! Only 3 weeks away! =)

    Shell recently posted Gonna Leave a Mark.

  217. aaah toronto isn’t close enough but yay canada 😀

  218. I think we can safely blame thank HST for “Pheonix.” He was clearly using his scratch pad while the graphic was being made.

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted The things you learn on the internet.

  219. Gasp, so excited you’re coming to Minnesota! I’ll try my damnedest to come see you that day 🙂

  220. for the love of all that is unholy would you PLEASE f’n come back to houston. or beaumont. or lake charles.

    i will bake you something. or find you an old stuffed animal. something.

    Loco YaYa recently posted Rapid Cycles.

  221. Hmmm. I hate to be the one to tell you, what, with the new kitten screwing with your spelling – buuuuuuuut, there’s no “S” in Raleigh.

  222. You should come to Scotland sometime! We have kilts. And taxidermied PEOPLE. (Ok, so there is a book bound with leather made from an executed body-snatcher’s skin in an Edinburgh museum. At least we definitely have marketable gruesome history, as demonstrated by the 50,000 “Edinburgh MURDERS AND GHOSTS” tours.)

    Anyway, have a great time in Canada!

    SarcasticNinja recently posted Temptation Is A Hollow Fish-Hat Circus.

  223. Holy crapsticks!!!!!! You are coming to PORTLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are soooooo there! And Jenny, if you need a place to stay, I have a lovely bathroom complete with ativan and booze slushie dispenser that is just calling you!!!!!

    See you in August!!!

  224. Woo! Toronto! Sweet Jebus I am ALL OVER THAT.

    Andie recently posted With Respect to Messers Barker, Hoppus and Delonge, I Guess this really is growing up..

  225. Yeah for Portland! To bad it’s in Beaverton suburbia land of Olive Garden and McDonalds. Seriously you’re a rock star and should be at the actual City Block sized downtown store.

  226. Wow, Canada is letting you in. It will never be the same. Yay for the north coast and west coast peeps!

    Kara recently posted Shoes – Head vs Heart.

  227. Phoenix is looking forward to having you!!

    Rachel recently posted Wordless Wednesday: Vacation Favorites.

  228. 229
    Wendy Rawlinson

    Canada shmanada. You’re coming to Portland! The Zen Mommies from Eugene, OR will be there!

  229. So happy to see San Diego on the tour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  230. 231

    Thank you so much for coming to Arizona! I am so happy that I will be able to meet you!!!!

  231. Yay, I get to see a fellow Texan in Seattle!

    Also, I was just reading this article in Seattle Met magazine about what NOT to bring back from Canada, which is doubly a propos to you and your trip as it gives this advice: ” . . . if you’re bringing in a “nonhuman primate trophy,” well, check with the CDC. Human primate trophies, check with the FBI.”


  232. I just yelped in happiness that you will be in Portland (technically Beaverton)! I will be there, and buying a second copy of your book since I passed my first copy on to some deserving ladies.

  233. 234

    TWO SIGNINGS in Seattle huh? Two signings….BECAUSE SEATTLE WILL FUCKING LOVE YOU….cause you are all quirky and we love quirky. I am a really big Fan of Elliott Bay Bookstore and I think you will love it the people are really awesome…Costco….well it’s a Costco…and I have never been there, but if you get hungry you can graze the aisles. I am really excited about you coming here. And I am not going to hold you to your promise where you said you would sign my Boob if you ever published your book and we met, because frankly I am really shy in person….but I sure would love it if you would signed my book and I could get a picture together for my Facebook….and in your face it to people. I mean show people we actually met. Now I just got to break it to my friend I can’t go to the first Storm game after the Olympics because I have want to meet you in instead and I love the Storm. Wow, I am babbling like I am 12 and meeting the Queen…Elton John.

  234. Oh, Powells! So much glee! I’m so excited I’m bouncing in my seat (and it’s very much annoying the cat).

    Jessa recently posted Princess of the Powhatan.

  235. Ah! You’re coming to Portland! You just may have to be my first ever book signing! It doesn’t say which Powell’s you’re going to be at….but I will stalk!

    Bailey recently posted Reconciliation.

  236. YAY! I was just looking on Amazon last night for your book…I’m totally driving to Portland to see you!

  237. Never mind! I found out where! Now I can properly stalk. I don’t know why I’m shouting! It’s even loud in my head! Have a great tour. lol

  238. LOVED YOUR BOOK! LAUGHED SO MUCH! We love you in Canada. Im in Montreal try and swing by. hihi. Cant wait for the next one.

  239. Yay!!! You’re coming to San Diego! I just informed my friends who also love you that we are going. Not that I expect them to argue much.

  240. F yeah Denver!! Fantastic! I’m so going to be there

  241. Yeeeehaw

    Chooplah recently posted Is He Marriage Material? A Quiz.

  242. Yay! Minneapolis – and you’re going to be at the B&N where my husband works! Now I just need to conquer my pathological fear of large crowds, and I’m so there!

  243. No!!!!!!! The one weekend I’m gone from Minneapolis this summer!!!!! Please leave behind some awesome for me to relish in when I get back. I’m so sad. I should just cancel my vacation. 🙁

  244. Dude! Don’t tease me like that! You’re only going to
    1 city in Canada!! How about adding in Calgary? Cultural capital of Canada! (for this year)
    Home of the Calgary Stampede- the Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth! Cowboys! Rednecks! It’s just like Texas!

  245. Oh rats, you have two days in Seattle – couldn’t make it up here to Bellingham, could you? We have the fabulous Village Books in Fairhaven.

    I hope you have a splendid time, regardless.

  246. 247
    Traci Bilek

    Denver! Woo Hoo! on August 12b which happens to be my lucky number and my 18th wedding anniversary! I can’t wait!

  247. 248

    My excitement at this news was so great that my fetus did a somersault and my feet swelled. Hooray!

  248. You are going to Denver but not Rapid City? I feel shock, dismay and betrayal. 8-(

    Melissa Lawler recently posted Sweet Italian Sausage Burgers.

  249. Hurray! Finally San Diego!

    Linz recently posted Idling.

  250. Yeah!!! Seattle!!!!!! 🙂

  251. Please come to St. Louis!

  252. 253

    adios mio, am i excited. it’s possible that your visit to san diego was included in my birthday candle wish…i will bring you wine slushy!!!

  253. Ninja-quick?!? Can’t say I’ve ever actually used that term before.


    Carrie recently posted Sometimes funny just happens. But this ain’t funny..

  254. AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! You’re coming to Toronto!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!!! I’m sorry, I can’t come up with anything more intelligent right now…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

  255. Dear Jenny,

    There’s more to Canada than Toronto, please come see the rest of us, we love you more. In Newfoundland, we drink way mor Gin and Tonicas. So we have way more fun, and ýou’re invited.

    Bobs and Kris

    I am so so so relieved and excited that you are finally making it to Portland!!

  257. Awww, opposite side of the country as me. Still fun though!

    Mayor Gia recently posted The Artist: A Review.

  258. Please come to Pittsburgh!

    P.S Am I the only one who noticed Phoenix was misspelled?

  259. I suspect one of reasons you’ve been so popular (in addition to being a brilliant and hilarious writer) is that you have so much humility and come across as genuinely grateful for your success. How many people let their fans know ahead of time that they will ninja-quick-sign their books outside of the bookstore? I mean, COME ON! 🙂


    Kristen Mae recently posted I Used to Be a Really Good Violist.

  260. it’s not Vancouver, BC … but Seattle is close.. I’ll try and make it!

    Jaime recently posted so very much pain.

  261. New Zealand is right next to Canada, so be sure to drop by, eh?

    (See, we even SOUND like Canadians.)

    HogsAteMySister recently posted 10 App Ideas GUARANTEED to make you $1 million (and I only want a 90% commission).

  262. oooh! I’m in St. Paul. I might get to see you on the 10th!

  263. i was going to point out the misspelling of phoenix, but… i’m pretty sure someone beat me to it, and i’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter.

    and don’t hate me, cuz i TOTALLY LOVE YOUR SHIT! …and keep posting the crazy cat pix; i LIVE for those. shibby!

    p.s. i’m making EVERY effort to get to the B&N in edina on august 10. i’ll bring you something taxidermied. maybe.

  264. OMGOSH seattle Yippee and the aurora village costco! i used to work at a caramel corn store that used to occupy that location 23 years ago:) which is freakin awesome cause i totally know where that is and even though i live in olympia now (which is really the capitol and is way cooler than seattle) i can drive there and be there without FREAKIN out. i can’t wait. i have a guest room and real live chickens if your deluxe hotel accommodations fall through. olympia is only an hour away… well not on fridays on fridays it is 2 hours away. fridays are weird like that. you’ll see.
    thanks for being you

  265. so glad more people will get to hear you talk and bring their various awesomeness for you to sign. hearing you read in jersey was really fantastic.

    Anna recently posted At the Playground: Ocean View, Delaware.

  266. Much as I hate to be a picky person, it’s “Phoenix.” I will be there, and I might even have bells on! 🙂

  267. Long time reader. I’m pretty sure the world (as horrible as it can be sometimes) DESERVES to see your entire taxidermicologically magnificent collection together, in concert, this Sunday, or whenever, and the music is optional, but Please can we see the whole family? Mummy, Daddy and all?

  268. Awwwww!!!! Try Calgary, pretty please???? That’s good 8 hours drive from where I live (Fort McMurray, Canada) but i’d happily make it just to meet you! Hugs, kisses and keep the awesomeness!!!

  269. Minneapol-yessssssssss!!!

  270. Toronto! For reals! Woot fricken woot!

    Lis recently posted June wrap-up.

  271. TORONTO!!!! TORONTO!!! I’ll see you there! That store is just a subway ride from my house! Can’t believe you’ll finally be in Toronto!
    Yay for you and for me cause I’ll see you in Toronto!

  272. Noooo! I was all prepared to come see you in Toronto, with my Kobo in hand so I could show them that I’d already bought your book _on my Kobo_ (since you’re signing at Indigo, that might count for something) and say “look at this, motherfuckers!” But I will be deep in the Algonquin wildlands on August 7th.

    How does one sign a Kobo anyway? Really, I don’t care about the signature *even if it will be worth millions one day*. I just wanted to tell you you’re awesome face-to-face. I’m going to get someone to show up with my face on a stick (a *picture* of my face, of course: the alternative would be unthinkable… what is wrong with you? 🙂 ) with the mouth cut out, and the person will speak through the mouth and say, “you’re awesome, Jenny” right up until security escorts them out. And you will never forget Toronto. You can thank me later.

    Jesse recently posted solitude.

  273. Toronto is the armpit of Canada so that doesn’t count (from Vancouver’s pov). However, Seattle is close enough. See you in August.

    Wendy Roberts recently posted Oops! You're dead. Or not..

  274. San Diego! Yayayayaya!!!! *Happy Dance* I though surly you’d not do any more.. I know how much your anxiety and being public don’t mix. Thank you for coming to see us anyway! See you on the 14th. 🙂

  275. Damn it, so close and yet so far. 8 hours away… shucks.

    If you want to wander through Montana by chance… I’ll totally make you enchilladas.

    JRose recently posted That Unfunny, Un-illustrated, TMI Post..

  276. No chance of swinging up to Vancouver from Seattle for those of us in this part of Canada? *sigh* We’ll miss you.

  277. 278

    Canada! Yay! Toronto! BOO! Montreal would love to have you ( we drink more alcohol AND our bars are open till 3:00am!…Toronto closes down by 1:00am)…guess I’ll have to plan a road trip…sigh

  278. Have your book on my Kindle but I’m standing in line with a newly purchased paper addition to get your autograph… Can’t wait to see you in the Emerald City.

  279. We will be seeing you in Phoenix (well, Tempe anyway) – looking SOOOO forward to it.

    Jon recently posted Posted Without Further Commentary.

  280. 281

    You’re coming to Minneapolis!!!!! And it’s the weekend that I’m going to be in Minneapolis!!!!! Life can be so sweet.

  281. I’m sending my friend in Wisconsin this link….I have to live vicariously through her because I’m fairly certain that you won’t get sent to Egypt for any book tours and that no one carries your book here, anyway. SO much lost in translation from English to Arabic. *sigh* I live in a cultural vacuum. Do you mind if I stalk you if things go my way and we end up buying a place in Fort Worth?

    Nikki Nicholas Mohamed recently posted Forgive but Not Forget.

  282. Yay, you’re coming to Minnesota! But damn that line’s gonna be long. You have lots of fans here!!!

  283. Okay, all of my common sense is telling me otherwise, but I am really tempted to miss my MRI so I can get you to sign my book.

    I mean, the health care here is free, but I’ve been waiting a year for this stupid MRI.

    Then again, it IS THE BLOGGESS…

    Decisions, Decisions, MOTHERFUCKER!


    Stephanie C | Seriously? Really?? Seriously? recently posted Whoever said "change is good" clearly doesn't have an anxiety disorder....

  284. 285
    Barb in Minnesota

    Dreams really do come true!!! You’re coming to Minneapolis! I’m moving into the city of Minneapolis on the day you’re coming and I’ll be there…probably a little sweaty, but I’ll be there!!!!!


    Minneapolis! I can’t believe it! I am so in!

    See you in Edina, Bloggess!

    The WP

    Sj recently posted The Second Amendment ~ Stuff You Might Not Know.

  286. Would this be the last last leg of the tour? I’m hoping for a last last last leg myself….

    Brenna recently posted I wouldn't drink that if I were you.....

  287. Woo-hoo! You’re coming to San Diego!

  288. I live in Phoenix, and I don’t give a damn how you spell it, as long as you come here (actually Tempe, but close enough.) However, you should shoot your agent for booking you here in August. We have the greatest weather from October to March (just ask the 800,000 midwestern retirees that come here) and acceptable weather in April, May and September. But June, July and August are hotter than the hinges of hell! Fortunately we have air conditioning.

  289. You just made me, a preggo and very nauseous lady, soooo happy and also not quite so nauseous. Nevermind the fact that I had to make some promises (which we won’t speak of) to my boyfriend to get the ok to go to Minneapolis! But now- more importantly- what to wear? What to say? EEeeeeee! I can barely stand it.

  290. This is going to sound like a suck up post, I can’t help it. I want to say thank you for being you and for your book. Today I was able to write about my anxiety. Last month I downloaded your book onto my Kindle, and when my anxiety attacks hit during the day I read it after I take my medication. Your book has helped to take my mind off of what is triggering my attacks. You’re witty, funny, awesome and real. I wish I could have made it to one of your signings but well…I’m in Japan lol!

    Jessica recently posted Fighting to feel alive.

  291. Tremendously pleased to get to see you in Toronto – me and the gf will be there.

    And, I will ask (with some trepidation)… would you like a tour guide in Toronto? I love my city, know every nook and cranny and some very bizarre spots (and where to get Chinese food at 2am) and would happily take you (again, with my gf and whomever else you’d like to bring along) to a bar, an odd place, a taxidermist, or a dandy restaurant. Dunno how much time you have here, but if you’re up here anyway and want to take a chance I promise I’ll find you something fun.

  292. Oh my gawd! I just peed in my pants a little! You are coming to Minneapolis! I love you even more than I already did! (In a completely non-creepy, non-stalker-y kinda way, of course). Can’t wait!

  293. I wish you were coming to Pittsburgh, I would totally bring my husband’s taxidermied squirrel.

  294. If this is going to be like Cher’s Fairwell tour you are totally going to needmore feathers and male backup dancers, so call me. recently posted 10 App Ideas GUARANTEED to make you $1 million (and I only want a 90% commission).

  295. I am SO fucking excited that you are coming to Minneapolis! I will try to drag my husband with. I hope they let me in; my copy is on Kindle.

  296. Wish you & Stephanie Pearl-McPhee ( could meet in Toronto. You probably have nothing in common except a Texas/stalker not really/knitter/- me, but I think you’d enjoy each other’s company and maybe an artisan beer.

  297. What? No Vancouver BC? It’s so pretty here. And they have taxidermists here, too.

    karenlynne73 recently posted Pain, punishment or pleasure?.

  298. OMG, you’re coming to Toronto!!! And I can almost make it…except we are coming back from our cottage that night and we’ll have the dog with us. I don’t suppose Indigo will let us bring the dog?

    I am going to make this work…

    allison recently posted NaNo Fail.

  299. Yay! You are coming to Phoenix! So happy!

  300. So close, and yet so far 🙁 Some of us wish you’d come to Salt Lake City on like the 25th. You know. Just because you seem to have such good luck with Mormons.

  301. I HOPE I HOPE I HOPE there might be a fifth leg, and that your planning people won’t make you snub Tucson. The B&N in Tucson is the bee’s knees, and one of their employees is as big a fan of you as I am — he’s the reason I even know about ya.

    Yeah, Phoenix (Ph-O-E-nix =P) is close enough to Tucson, but with work and all…. I can’t five-hour road-trip to Phx and back after one shift and before the next. I wish I had a cool job like you, Jenny, and could make my own hours.

    And I would also <3 having your Herbie Hancock in my copy of "Let's Pretend…"

  302. I think you need to come back to Jersey. I can secure a petting zoo.

    Just a thought…



    Valerie recently posted Just incase I die first....

  303. Woo hoo, you’re going to be at Elliott Bay! Grand and glorious!

    Fran recently posted Home repairs.

  304. OH YES! I’ll have to hop the border but Ill make it to Seattle!!!!

  305. AHHHHH!!! Denver!! Now to figure out how to get down there! Yes, it’s only an hour drive but I get into panic attack territory about driving in Denver. :/

  306. Congrats on another leg. You have an amazing following and one day we will all talk about how we knew you when!!!

    TheFeelGoodDepot recently posted Kathrine Kathy – USMC Wife Sleeps Under Protective Eye Of A Brother Marine.

  307. See you in MN! I found just the thing to whet your appetite for your visit to our fine state…hope you enjoy!

  308. 309
    P. Gardiner

    You are killing me! I live in Portland, and was so sad you weren’t going to be here. Then today I see this post and YAY the 15th! Except I’m flying with the kids to see my Mother-in-law on August 12th, so I’ll miss you. Where am I flying? Phoenix, where you will be on the 11th! So unless we happen to see you in either airport, we will miss you. My 14 year old daughter is reading your book as she recovers from having her wisdom teeth removed. Portland will love you.

  309. 310
    Holly (a.k.a. adoreprince)

    #247 Kara Messenheimer already said it for me, so I’m just going to cut and paste her comment. This frees me up to pop over to Pinterest to look at Kick Ass Stuff You’ve Pinned….

    I am so so so relieved and excited that you are finally making it to Portland!!

  310. You’re coming to SEATTLE!!! YES!!!!!!

    Jen Tidwell recently posted Geeking Out!.

  311. Ahhhhhh!!! You’re coming to San Diego!!! Yippppeeeeee–I will be there with bells on to see you. And if you get bored while you’re here I will totally take you out to eat locally sourced organic food and then get drunk and sing karaoke–cause that’s how we roll in SD.

  312. San Diego!! I cried, CRIED (well, not really, but I was really sad in my head) when I missed you in Los Angeles. SO excited that you’ll be coming to San Diego and giving all us lame asses who didn’t drive up a second chance.

    Laural Out Loud recently posted Reading Fifty Shades Of Grey At Inflatable World.

  313. Dang it. Gad. I’m going to be flying right through the T. On August 7. I live in Whitehorse Yukon. Any chance you’ll be in the area? I jest. Have fun!

    Lisa recently posted A motherfucking parking TICKET. shit..

  314. 315
    Tasha Schermerhorn

    Please get a Vancouver, BC date!!! I’ll help get it done if you need help but I’d love to see you here!

  315. OMG Seattle YIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Do you need a place to stay? We have a whole daylight basement with its own bathroom and kitchen and your choice of 2 rooms to sleep in! And I have Thursday and Friday off from work so I can take you around to all the cool sites. Or you can lock yourself downstairs if that’s more comfortable for you.

    Either way I can’t wait to meet you!!

  316. I was sooooo excited, you said Canada – but poop – just Toronto. Edmonton wants to see you too!!!

  317. 318

    West Coast Represent!!!!!!!!!

  318. TWO nights in Seattle? I’m sure you mean one night in Seattle, one night in Vancouver which is just up the road a smidge and has an aquarium where you can feed sea otters by hand and there’s a store with 500 flavours of ice cream and is in Canada, as mentioned in your headline. I’M SURE that’s what you meant. Don’t say, “I’m coming to Canada!” and then only go to Toronto. That’s what a Torontonian would say.

  319. FYI, Alberta is basically the Texas of Canada. You’ll feel right at home here!

    Zombiegyrl recently posted Warning: Rant Territory..

  320. Oh, man! And I just freaking got deported from Canada. Figures.

  321. Whoo-hoo! You are coming to my Powell’s in Portland!! I will be there! Yay!!!

  322. I’m soooooooooo excited, I can’t stand it!! I hope Seattle doesn’t sell out, but I would go to Portland if I need to!! I think it will be wildly popular here (Seattle) since I know I have single-handily created at least 10 new fans, did I say 10? I meant 10,000! We now define any people as, those who love Jenny (our friends) and others, that no one cares about. I can’t wait to meet/see you in person! Plus, Seattle is beautiful inAugust, usually… Bring your rain boots or bread bags just in case!

  323. It’s just a short ferry ride to Beautiful British Columbia!! We’d love to see you in Victoria

  324. 325

    Sooooo…care to tell me when you’re visiting Australia? And a tiny country town 3 hours away from any capital cities at that? I can’t wait…. 🙂

  325. 326

    Of course. When you’re in New York, I’m in Denver. When you’re in Denver, I’m in New York. I honestly can’t believe that everyone doesn’t plan their lives around mine!

  326. 327
    Lady Penelope

    Come to AUSTRALIA!
    We are not far from Canada …. (in the gene pool at least; or so I hear…)

  327. Please come to Vancouver! Its not to far from Seattle…. pleeeeeeeeeeease 🙂

  328. Eeeeeee! Canada!!!!!
    (You’ll be in the middle, I’m on the coast and won’t be able to make it to TO… but still… you’ll be in my country!!!!!)

    Rainyday recently posted Medicated mama.

  329. Yes!!!!!! I knew you’d come to Minnesota if I asked pretty please.

  330. Toronto isn’t really Canada. 😉

  331. 332

    Of course you come to Minneapolis when I’m out of town. Why not?


  332. And of course you are coming to Toronto on the one week that I am out of town…oh well

  333. Ugh! Sad for me, I get to TO 2 days late and miss this!! Am telling everyone though (even though I think everyone already knows!!)… London next? Or Amsterdam? Pretty much anywhere in the EU and I’d make the effort!

    Pretty please?

  334. Just wait, you’ll see I was right, Portland is the only city that can welcome you in proper style. Just wait. I will be driving 5 hours to crash at my friends house and then we will crash Powells with our metal chickens and our Valley Girl-esque squeals. No shame.

    Jamethiel recently posted Day in the life: Big Person Version.

  335. 336
    Claudette Turdici

    You are awesome. I am bummed you won’t be anywhere near me. So virtual hugs to you from Chesapeake VA

  336. Ok first of all I am amazed at apparently how many cool people there are in Toronto that are devoted Bloggessees. I will have to put that on my list of places to visit and/or move when the zombie-pocalypse hits. But more importantly, yay Seattle!!!!! So happy you are coming here and can’t wait to see you.

  337. They could have at least sent you to Canada’s capital 🙁 Stupid Toronto gets everything.

    Nolie recently posted Cigarette Candy (Wordless Wednesday w/Linky).

  338. OH MY SCREAMING GOD. I’ll ACTUALLY be able to make the August 7th stop! Shit… now I have to, like, do my hair…

    Ellie Di recently posted SOS – Save Our Self: How cutting my own hair brought me back to life.

  339. Why do you hate Pittsburgh? WHY? Do we not read? If you prick us do we not bleed???

    Jim W. recently posted Brave.

  340. WOW!! Wish I still leaved in Seattle…I would difently would have been in line to meet you and sign my book. I hate living in this small town in NC.


  341. TORONTO HERE WE COME!!!!!!! It’s only a 1.5 hour drive from where we are in Buffalo, New York!!! SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!

    JENNY— Seriously, Toronto is all cool and everything, but you should reeeeeeeally come see one of the Wonders of the World, NIAGARA FALLS. I am personally offering to be your tour guide. It’s LESS than 1.5 hours from Toronto and soooooo worth it!!!!! Do it!!!! Please? :pouty face:

    I mean, seriously, Niagara Falls was just all over the TV because we had a TIGHT ROPE WALKER walk across the falls just a few weeks ago. (youtube it- Nik Wallenda). Wonder of the World + Tightrope Walker + personal tour guide (me!) = AWESOME!

  342. So excited! You’re in Toronto on my BIRTHDAY!!

    Kelly recently posted Public Pool Princess – An Open Letter.

  343. ugh seriosuly??? I am going to be in toronto NEXT WEEK!!! I will miss you by exactly 5 days 🙁

  344. You know where you really need to travel to? Australia, just putting it out there. You might find a taxidermied possum or dingo, just saying.

    Kylie recently posted The Famous Five.

  345. Mira Mesa, you say?! I am SOOOO there! =)

  346. Wow. I kinda miss the NON cult hero Jenny, ya know? This seems so unreal but so great for YOU!!! I think I better get back to the book that I pre-ordered. I’m only on page 8. Mea Culpa. I miss the unfamous you. Love, your old friend, Laurie F.

    Laurie F. recently posted Plinky Prompt: You’re a movie star. What food/items do you request for your dressing room?.

  347. I so wish I could come see you. Denver is the closest to me but I start stupid teacher meetings during that week and have to be there.

  348. So sad. Was still holding out hope for that Indiana tour.

  349. This made my morning!!!! You are coming to Denver!!!! Yay!!!!

  350. 351
    Howard Carson

    Yea! You are coming to Seattle!

  351. 352

    SAY WHAT!?!?!! YOUR COMEING TO PHOENIX!?!! AWESOME!! This news SO made my day!! Definitely will be there!! 😀

  352. Woot!! A couple of my girlfriends and I will be at the Mpls event. I have my book ready to be signed! Yay!! So glad to know you’re coming our way!

    Cakers recently posted Riding Along.

  353. Yay! You will finally be right in my neck of the woods, your very last stop! I will definitely show up, probably not in any sort of weird costume, but I will be there and I can’t wait to see you.

  354. Argh…only Toronto??? What about Canada’s capital Ottawa????

  355. 356
    Patrick L Boyd-Lloyd

    PLEASE oh PLEASE – come back to DALLAS!!! We missed you the first time. And since you only live a few hours away this shouldn’t be to hard. Or tell us where we can come see you in Houston.
    But dont plan to be in Dallas the 6-14 of October – we wont be here. Selfish, I know – but I’ll be celebrating my 50th birthday in Northern CA.

  356. 357
    This Library is a disaster

    Why do you hate Cleveland? It doesn’t even smell that bad anymore.

  357. 358
    John Kirkpatrick

    Wish I could have made it to your Austin visit.
    I doubt that you would have signed my tablet where your e-book lives so I would have to purchase the paper one.
    Maybe I could have gotten you to scratch your sig.
    Alas, no John-Beyonce. That sounded better in my head?
    All the best to you and yours!

  358. 359
    Ashley Dewey

    I wish you were coming to Rochester NY! Toronto is a little far for us. me and my fiance LOVE your book! Your humor about your weird life makes me feel much better about my wierd life.

  359. 360
    Melissa W

    I just got a text that YOU”RE GOING TO BE IN DENVER!!! Yessss!

  360. Congrats to you! That’ sso awesome. I keep meaning to pick up your book! I need to add it to my To Do List.


    Tara recently posted next stop: GIVEAWAY! The Mommie Series-Houston.

  361. 362

    Pssssst, there’s more to Canada than just Toronto. Unless of course, one IS from Toronto…in which case the prevailing attitude is that Toronto IS all there is of importance in the country.

  362. OH MY GOD YOU ARE COMING TO DENVER!! *happydance* I will SO be there!

  363. You have got to be shittin’ me! I find your blog after I move from San Antonio, then you decide to come to Minnesota and I’ll be in Chicago for a 3-day breast cancer walk! The stars are not aligning for me! Boo Hoo, have fun with out me!

  364. I’m so excited you’re coming to Denver. My brother is who introduced me to your blog in the first place, and he’s also my ‘person’ who I can usually face social situations with, as long as he’s nearby and not in a pompous assholian I’m-18-and-God kind of mood that day. He’s leaving for his freshman year of college on the East Coast and I’ve been dreading losing my one keeps-me-from-hiding-in-the-bathroom companion… so I’m SO excited to see we’ll (maybe, if I’m having a good day) finally get to meet you!

  365. Aaaaahhhhhh!!! Toronto!!!! I am so making the drive there to come see you…now to figure out babysitters…

    Kristina recently posted Broken Bones and Illness.

  366. TRIPLE YAY!!! TORONTO!!!!

    Lace recently posted The “Senior Citizen” Card.

  367. why is Little Rock not on your schedule?

  368. 369

    YAY CANADA!! Expect a carload of devoted fans from a small town about an hour east of Toronto :oD

  369. 370
    Alison Lancaster

    I can’t tell you how EXCITED I am that you’re coming to Oregon. I knew you heard me when I whined. I can’t wait to meet you!!!

  370. 371

    DENVER DENVER DENVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHOO!!!! I cannot wait to see you!

  371. So I was, like, first in line for your book at my local library and got it two days after it came in, and read it in about 1 and a half. I’ve never read a book so fast. My boyfriend was looking at me like a lunatic because I was sitting and giggling the whole time and finally shrugged his shoulders and said, “Eh. I’m glad to see you smiling and laughing…” 😀 Thanks for that.

    Ms. Plaid Dressy Pants recently posted A somber ‘Thank You’ to the Aurora theater shooter..

  372. Seattle!! Whoo-hoo!! It’s on my calender – looking forward to meeting you! Although I don’t think I’ll have you sign my Kindle….

  373. 374
    Stephanie McMahon

    WHY do you hate New Jersey??? We love you here!!!!

  374. AHHHHH! Your literally going to be 2 minutes from my house at my Costco! I’ve taken half a day off from work to make sure I can get there and in line at a reasonable time. Crazy Excited. Oh yes.

  375. 376
    Amyjeen Capri-cious pants

    DENVER ! Thank you baby rhesus monkey !

  376. That’s it. I’m moving.

    Ashley Austrew recently posted Texts From My Vagina: A Get Rich Quick Scheme.

  377. Crap – no Calgary……TO and Seattle are a wee bit too far for me….maybe next time!

  378. Omg ……you’re coming to seattle…..YAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!

  379. THANK YOU! I didn’t dare ask for Seattle… I’m going to go hide in the bathroom at Elliott Bay and wait for you in case you get nervous and need someone to talk to.

  380. 381
    Alicia Cooper

    So, excited that you are coming to Seattle & I have 2 chances to meet you… My co-worker introduced me to your Blog & I have been hooked since then. You keep me going during the crazy days at work & we have several instances of inpromptu exerpt readings from your book…Cannot wait…So lookign forward to the August book signign dates 🙂

  381. I was going to congratulate you on getting outta the TX heat; but I see you’re going to Tempe. Just NEVER go outside while you’re there and you’ll be fine. Fly safe kiddo.

    Bodaciousboomer recently posted I sorry to report there are no more woofers til next year….

  382. 383
    Lisa (yeah - circa 1963!)

    Girl, you KNOW you want out of HOT Texas, and no one could blame you one bit! Enjoy your well-deserved props!

  383. I am TOTES going to be all over Edina when you’re there.

    Brian recently posted Hey Folks.

  384. I saw Denver and started screaming only to realize that that is the night of my book club meeting and I would just skip it but it is at MY HOUSE and I have to make dinner for it!!!!!!!!!!!!! I suggested your book to read, but none of these idiots know you so I can’t just get them to come with me to the signing. The only thing making this bearable is that I know you have many more things to pretend never happened so there will be another book tour in the future!! Welcome to the Mile High City!!

    Mary recently posted Zolo Malbec.

  385. Here!!! You’re coming HERE!!!! I just did a happy dance in my little cubicle!!! There happens to be an On the Border next to the San Diego location you will be at (and me! I’m going too!). I believe I shall smuggle you over a pitcher of margaritas. Or sangria. Your pick. Or both. I’m so excited you’re going to be HERE!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

    Christie recently posted Project: Living Room.

  386. *stomps foot about lack of UK date*

    I’ve been buying the darn (awesome) book for all my friends, isn’t that enough copies to get you over here yet?!

  387. Yay! Coming to Toronto! I can’t wait. This is going to be awesome sauce. I mean, honey badger awesome!

  388. GAH WHY no Salt Lake? I’m seriously tempted to make the 8 hour drive to Denver JUST FOR YOU. Also, if it will change anything, there is a crazy shop here downtown that NOT ONLY sells giant metal roosters, but GIANT METAL DONKEYS to keep them company. Pictures to follow.

    (But seriously…think about it…)

  389. Denver, yay! I’m sure you remember a few months ago when I promised that if you added a Denver stop I would take you here: Offer still stands! (And, OK, even if you choose to have dinner/lunch with people you actually know, you should take them to the Buckhorn — you’d get such a kick out of this place!)

  390. YES! SEATTLE! FINALLY! And so close to my home!!! 😀

  391. We will meet in Seattle.

    And I will rejoice.

    And you will say “It’s nice to meet you, the four trillionth person I’ve met on my tour.”

    And I will say, “wait, you don’t know who I AM? You gave me advice when I had a post go viral! Don’t you remember all the good times?”

    And you will say “I vaguely remember that perhaps kind of not really NICE TO MEET YOU!”

    And I will say “But I bought an ad from you a year ago! That means we’re best friends!”

    And you will pat my head gently and say “Yes, that’s exactly what it means.”

    And I will nod definitively, like a child who has just been told that he’s the most special kid in the world by an indulgent parent.

    It’s gonna be so amazing. (No really. It’s gonna be AMAZING. For me. I cannot wait. Fo realz.)

    The Weed recently posted How my parents responded to me marrying a gay man.

  392. DENVER!! YAY!!! Already thinking of a good suck-up gift…..

    Rocket’s DogBlog recently posted Plot Twist.

  393. YAY YAY YAY you are coming to Portland!! cant wait! I have your book on my nook tablet… so i guess i cant have you sign anything but i am so excited to see you in person. yay! thanks!!

  394. I AM SO ANGRY I CAN’T DRIVE THE 12 HOURS TO TORONTO! Why must I be so much further north?!

  395. So sad you are not coming to Kansas City! 🙁

    Pippi recently posted Being A People Person is Highly Overrated-Part II Overindulging at Social Functions.

  396. 397
    Jan Fender

    I just came back from Canada last night. They have wonderful healthcare there. I know because I asked 64 people their opinions about it while I was there. I went for a wedding, and, when I stood to make a toast, all those who knew me stopped breathing for a minute because they were afraid I was going to say, “How many of you here are Canadians, and how do you feel about your health care?”
    If only I had thought about it in time.
    P.S. I am a huge Obama supporter.
    P.P.S. I have bought 3 of your books to give 2 away. I was afraid to loan them out.

  397. While we aren’t as much fun as the Wheaton’s (who is?), want come have wine or other adult beverages with @imkimc and me after your Seattle (Shoreline really) Costco signing?

  398. 399
    june schubert

    Hey, I have your book on my Nook also–you can sign the Nook (this is for Cheri M who posted a couple of lines above mine). Bought your book for two reasons: 1. My niece, Maura Denman, is a HUGE fan and was spreading the word and 2. I was having a personal crisis over the weekend and my current way to treat personal crisises (?) is to buy a laugh out loud book. I needed one 2 months ago and Bossypants was my answer. Your book is my current “drug of choice”. I’ve another book on the horizon, if it’s needed!

  399. Please please please come to Vancoooooooouver! It’s just a skip from Seattle, really. If you do, I’ll scout out places you might find a friend for Jefferson Peabody.

  400. When you get to P-Town make sure you hit VooDoo Donuts. Just ask Jen Lancaster. . .she knows what I’m talking about.

    Jen in Portlandia recently posted Suck it, Emily Post.

  401. Yay! You’re coming to Denver! We’re going to rock the house. Or bookstore. Whatever…

    Barbara recently posted Not safe anywhere?.

  402. Vancouver Canada, that is! Puh-leeze?

  403. please excuse me while I curl up in the bathroom with a wine slushie. You are going to be in Toronto the week I am not. Now to figure out someone to bribe to get my book signed….

  404. 405
    Brandy Martin

    Come back to Texas (specifically San Angelo)…I missed you when you were here…I love love loved your book, I bought one of the signed copies, but its not the same. 🙂

  405. Yay! SO, SO, soo glad you’re coming to Canada! Toronto is only 20 mins away from where I work. Woohoo!

  406. You forgot to add “Nashville” and the corresponding date of your arrival. I’m sure it was just an oversight. No problem. We all make mistakes. I will wait patiently for the update and correction so that I can plan the rest of my month around meeting you. 😉

  407. Woohoo! Denver!!
    I am SO there 🙂

  408. Thank mother flippin’ goodness you finally got a date in Portland. Woo hoo! My bff and I have already read your book and I’ll be there to get my autograph for sure. Maybe we can bring something both dead and dressed fancy for you. And you’ll be at the coolest bookstore on earth too! Yay!

    Sarah recently posted Tell me what I want for my birthday.

  409. What? No Ottawa date? How could you miss out on the Nation’s Capital? If you come to Ottawa I’ll even bring my frog that plays the fiddle! 😀

  410. HA! Portland at last!

    The arc of book tours is long, but it bends toward Powell’s!

  411. SAN DIEGO!!!!! AUGUST 14th I will be there.
    I will soooooo buy yet another copy to get you to sign.
    Thank you
    I hope you get to see something other than the Mira Mesa B&N . . .

  412. YAY FOR TORONTO! I’ll so be there!!!!!

  413. Jenny – PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE com to the Eastern Midwest. Specifically Ohio. I beg of you.

  414. 415
    Count Megula

    VANCOUVER!!!! Dammit Why is Vancouver NOT on the list!!!! I would *actually* stand in that line! -and that’s saying something!

    Gratuitous exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!

  415. You are coming to Canada and NOT stopping in to Regina, Saskatchewan? Boo! Have fun in Toronto though – they are a fun bunch too!

    Cheryl recently posted SnorgTees Review.

  416. I got so excited when I saw you were coming to Canada, but then I noticed it was just to Toronto. Now I’m sad.

    sarina recently posted I stepped on a kid at the library today. On purpose..

  417. Kat, is right – you MUST find your way to the Buckhorn Exchange in Denver. It’s like it was made just for you. We’ll ALL take you there!!

    Seasweetie recently posted Photo of the Day: Before the Wild Blue Yonder.

  418. Portland on the 15th? Dammit, I’ve already go stuff I have to do that day, down in Eugene, so I can’t make it. Well, just remember that when you are Powell’s books, there will be one less person because he has to take his son camping instead. Damn children and all of those “family commitments.”


  419. I hope you are taking your wonderful daughter and the new kitty with you!

  420. Of course Toronto is Canada – Its really the only part of Canada you need to worry about. I’m here and I can’t wait to see you! (just kidding about the “only part of Toronto” bit but not the “I can’t wait to see you” bit) The rest of Canada thinks that Toronto thinks its all of Canada which is probably because most of the time we do! BUT we are also getting a visit from Jenny!!!! Yay us!

  421. Gahhh, DENVER DENVER DENVER! So. Damn. Excited. Must find red dress to wear stat.

  422. Portland Maine or Portland Oregon?

    Lemuria in Jackson MS would like to see you!!!!

  423. NOOOOO You’re finally coming to MN when I’m moving away! Have a great last-leg of your book tour.

  424. Okay seriously, you’re coming that close to Vancouver BC and you’re not going to go visit it? You would so totally kick butt there. Honestly. Trust me, I’d never steer you wrong from over here in my continued anonymous position on the interwebs. 😉

    Cerise recently posted Minutiae...or this post is being written on the fly.

  425. Denver? DENVER?! I’m gonna bust a gut. Hoorah! I may have you autograph my Kindle.

  426. I’ve got all you ladies and gents beat. Taxidermied crazy shit, an orange male kitten Hunter S. Thomcat’s age, AND a dungeon in my house. Beat that bitches! 🙂


    Dr Brassy

    Dr Brassy Steamington recently posted Steampunk Necklace Sightmares Eye Custom Color You pick by Dr Brassy Steamington by DrBrassysSteampunk.

  427. Toronto!!! Awesome. See u there with cod ear earrings!

  428. SAN DIEGO??? You are SO worth a day off work and a 4-hour round trip! I’m there!

    Karen Peterson recently posted Why I Should Totally Run For Public Office.

  429. 430
    Amber Mackey

    ACK! You’re coming to Toronto!! I got your book as a Mother’s Day gift already- I will certainly be there to (hopefully) get you to sign it! This is terribly amazing awesomesauce.

  430. Still no St. Louis!?! We are like right smack dab in the middle of the country. Easily accessible to everyone!

  431. No Alaska. Sad. Surely you have friends in Homer?

  432. I just gasped so hard I nearly choked on my spit.

    You are coming to Seattle. TWO DAYS BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. I know you were waiting to do this just for me.

    I’ll so be there. Probably with a big party hat on. And I may faint a little bit from excitement.

  433. wooooohooooooo seattle!!! ypu have good timing too because im leaving this area a week later!!!

  434. C’mon, you have a whole day between Phoenix and Denver and ALBUQUERQUE IS RIGHT IN BETWEEN THEM. Please, please, please, please

  435. Four legs of the tour and no stops in Las Vegas?! Why???!!!! I will be in Tempe at the end of August too. Oh well, I guess you just have to write another book and do another tour.

  436. 437

    You’re coming to Seattle!!!! That’s easily accessible for me as I live in Abbotsford, BC Canada!! BUT, I have eye surgery on the 17th… I may come drugged out and blind… hope that’s okay 😉

  437. 438
    The Other Jenny

    Oh yay! Yay! YAY! We’re planning a Red Dress MN reunion in the Barnes and Noble restroom at The Galleria! I’ll bring the cocktails- do you like Iron Butterflies or Lemon Drops? I have a big purse and if I only bring a couple of my stuffed rodents, I can probably fit in a few “water bottles”. Vodka is just awesome water, you know. We’ll be the ones in red dresses! See you there!

  438. I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw you were coming to Minnesota, way too awesome. You can’t miss me, I will be the girl in the yellow mask. Trust me there is a good reason for the mask!

    Sarah recently posted Exploration Complete.

  439. shucks, if only it didn’t now require a passport to go to seattle :/

  440. FYI it is hotter than the sun in Minnesota this summer. Seriously, the Minnesotans are melting and getting crazy. Luckily, you will be in Edina, land of the cake eaters. In good news, those women have plenty of Xanax if you forget yours, just dash into the hall and ask! I will be there. How do you sign a kindle?

  441. Be sure you’re on the lookout for this guy.

  442. 443
    Alie Bear

    I so wish I was visiting my family in Portland this August … and not just because Wisconsin is hellishly hot this summer! Your book rocks and I have even got my husband hooked. Maybe I can talk my little sis into going to Powell’s for me. Too bad the signing is not in the big one in downtown Portland. Best book store in the world in my opinion, so big they need a map.
    Hope you get to enjoy the Pacific Northwest a little while you are there. If you get a chance McMenamins rocks, especially the Kennedy School or Edgefield.

    You are an inspiration!

  443. I stopped in at powells today and asked how early I could show up and what the protocol was…my bookseller was all gushy about you coming to our powells and super excited, she says they never turn anyone away and when David sedaris was there they stayed until about 2in the morning because he wouldn’t let them turn anyone away and he kept signing and talking to people…I hope they know what they are in for!

  444. I’m also in the sad to see you aren’t coming to Salt Lake camp… I don’t suppose we could talk you into an encore of an encore???

  445. How many legs do you actually have now that you are humongously famous?

    And do they look like this or this or this?

    And which one is the Pheonix leg, because it’s a bit wonky?

    HogsAteMySister recently posted 10 App Ideas GUARANTEED to make you $1 million (and I only want a 90% commission).

  446. You are coming to Denver!!!!! Yay!!! And to the Tattered Cover! One of the best independent book stores in the country! Thank you!

  447. 448

    Noooooooo! You cant visit Seattle that weekend. We are going to Yellowstone, and will miss it. Much sadness.

  448. 449
    Meghann Swiney

    Literally almost fell out of my chair when I realized you were coming to San Diego! So excited and can’t wait to meet you and all the other crazies who love you too 🙂

    Congrats on the success of the book – well deserved – be proud!

  449. This is so awesome. You are an inspiration to us all. The book is wonderful and has been a great blast. I only wish that I had been the one to design the cover. Oh well, next time indeed.

    Renee Groskreutz recently posted Hello world!.

  450. 451

    Yippee! My brother said I should ask you to sign my boob in homage to your super-funny tweet a while back. It will all depend on if I have any wine slushes before I get there.

  451. Woah. I might have to drag my boyfriend 200 miles to Seattle to see you! I don’t have a Costco membership, though … :

    Any chance you want to come to Richland? I would offer to meet you halfway, but there’s nothing but trees there.

    radioactivegan recently posted June Vegan Food Swap.

  452. I am driving 4 hours to your signing in MN. I refuse to miss this. I am bringing my book, they better let me in with it!!!!!

  453. I was in Seattle last weekend and saw an outdoor store selling giant metal chickens!!!!!!!!! I thought of you but my brother drove so fast that I didn’t have time to take a picture. Now that you’re going there, I don’t have to. Look around for it–near Queen Anne–it’s AMAZING.

  454. Once we had to make an emergency landing in Canada on the flight from Paris to NY. (It was on one of those cold islands very far North). If that happens, I’ll be there.

    Lady Jennie recently posted Olympic Efforts.

  455. Seattle! I will be visiting my parents there then! See you there!

  456. I noted that Indianapolis is once again left of the list.

  457. Off. Damn it. It said off! I swear autocorrect just likes to fuck with me.

  458. I just moved to Denver from Maryland a few months ago and I just missed your signings in Maryland and was totally bummed. Now I’m delighted again! Yay! Super stoked =)

  459. 460
    Sarah Rae

    Noooo!! I’m from Toronto and have been waiting for this, but I’ll be Europe for all of August! How sad 🙁 I hope you enjoy Toronto though, it’s a wonderful city!

  460. Ok, Barbara Streisand. Tell me another one! 😉 Good for you, girlie! Keep on doing tours (come to Binghamton, NY!)

  461. In the drawing, where is says “I’m coming to you!” I read it as “I’m coming FOR you!” Way more ominous and hilarious and other -ouses.

  462. You’re so great, Jenny. Have fun on this last leg of your tour. Can’t wait for the next book!

  463. My question is are you doing a booksigning at costco and do you need a membership? I was slightly confused. That and a bookstore?? Hoping you reply so I end up in the correct place.

  464. YAY DENVER!!!!!!!!!! I am getting in line today!!!!

    Jane recently posted PINTEREST!.

  465. Talk about running the gamut of emotions!! First I was beyond excited that you are going to be in Oregon next month. Then I was devastated to realize it’s not only a weekday, but I can’t afford the gas to make the 5 hour drive to see you. Then my friends, being the bad-asses that they are, decided we’re going to drive 1 car, split the gas between 4 of us, pack a cooler of food to save $, & drive on up. That’s right….we’re making a 5 hour estrogen-filled trek to meet you, our hero, The Bloggess!!!! *tinkle*

  466. I have been thrilled with moving to Boulder so far but now, you’re coming to Denver!! Seriously, the icing on the cake.

    But all my best girlfriends are still in Oklahoma so I may have to harass you for many signatures, although I may leave out one since she has frequently noted that she would ditch us to hang out with you for a day. So, nothing for her. Humph.

    Jen @ Bible Belt to Boulder recently posted The joys of automated customer service.

  467. I’m looking forward to going. Hope I can get in with my already bought book 😉

    Melodie recently posted Samson.

  468. I think this is the perfect new accessory for you to take on your tour with you-

  469. I just found you. I am a heterosexual and yet- I am in love. I don’t know why it took me so long, but you
    I wrote a post in honor of you today. Since I’m so wildly unpopular, I don’t imagine it’ll make any difference in your viewer traffic, but you can know you made this girl pee in her pants.

    Forever yours
    Crazy fan Julie

    Julie DeNeen recently posted Desperation.

  470. If I could only find a way to get to the closest city to me (stupid Wichita!!) which would be Denver, on the 13th, I’d be so ecstatic!

    Mrs. One Day recently posted Over-Analyze This!.

  471. JENNY!!!!!!!!!! you need to come to vancouver on the 17th instead of seattle!

    We can’t make it to you unless we take the day off and we will never both get the day off! Its only three hours further….come to Canada…its nice up here!

    Tara Wasney recently posted Have you met Jenny Lawson yet?.

  472. Have you seen this shed painted like a TARDIS??

    MA recently posted Purple Giraffe Logic.

  473. SEE YOU ON AUGUST 15TH!!!!!!

  474. Yay for a Canadian date! Although it is still nowhere near me. Remember, you also have a couch to stay on if you come to Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. In addition, I agree to share my clonazepam and ativan.

    melistress recently posted The Age Of Anxiety.

  475. Have you seen this TARDIS shed yet? Made me think of you.

    MA recently posted Purple Giraffe Logic.

  476. 1) Edina IS NOT Minneapolis
    2) only rich people go to the Galleria
    3) There is a perfectly good Barnes and Nobles in Downtown Minneapolis

    I don’t have a car, no friends to give me a ride, and i love you Jenny, but i hate the way people look at me in the Galleria more.

  477. Jenny, you are coming to Portland! I have been praying for this. Our town is so weird, you will love it!

  478. *holding breath* *exhale* so excited you are coming to Portland! YAY! Best day ever.

  479. It would be preferable if you can to Western Canada, perhaps in Alberta. That would be lovely!

  480. You’re coming to Toronto? Whoo!Hoo!

    Kelly recently posted Spending the day in Gyeongju, South Korea.

  481. So excited you’re coming to Seattle!! So. Stinking. Excited! 🙂

  482. Shut the front door!!!! I am already in line at manulife in TO!!! This news totally makes up for the millionth pregnancy test that just came back negative. You saved my shitty, I’m-not-a-Mommy-yet day! Sweet Jesus I’m excited to see you Jenny Lawson:) Welcome to Canada baby!!!

  483. nobody good ever comes near Nashville for Book tours. 🙁 Not you, not Alton Brown, Not Wil Wheaton.

  484. The Portland one is the day after my birthday. YAY!!!! Jenny – you are my hero!

  485. Come to Vancouver, bitch! I’ve long since finished your book (it was awesome), but if you come to Van I will totally come see you. You’re totally rad, girl.

  486. i got sooo excited when you said Canada, and it turned out to just be toronto. That doesnt count! you need to come to Edmonton… i’d even settle for Calgary, or Vancouver.

  487. 488
    Calamity Wren

    OMG OMG OMG! I am SO freakin’ excited!!!! I am such a happy girl! It has nothing to do with the book tour. Not really. Because I live no where near any of the cities on it, though I really, really wish you would come to Sacramento, but that’s beside the point, but I really am excited. I was school shopping for my teenage daughter at one of my favorite chain retailers and GUESS WHAT I FOUND!!!! My very own copy of “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”!!!!!! Seriously! I snatched it up like a kid in a candy store who’s just found out his mom lied to him about being allergic to chocolate! I am reading it between calls at work and anywhere else that I can cram in some reading time! I am so excited!! Thank you, Bloggess! 😀

  488. I just wanted to let you know that I finally bought your book. I have been waiting months for it, until I could afford it (yes, I am broke and poor. ) I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!! I can’t wait to read it! I have been stalking you online for forty forevers now, and I can finally get even closer to you with your book.

    PS I am not actually stalking you.
    PPS If I was, I promise I wouldn’t be a creepy stalker. More along the lines of a “lemme bring you margaritas and bask in your awesomeness” stalker. Really.

  489. You’re coming to Denver?!?! No one EVER comes to Denver. And by no one I mean that friend of yours–a one, Jennifer Lancaster. Can you work on her please? In the meantime…yaaaaayyyy!!! So excited!!

  490. 491
    Melissa S

    Wish you were making a stop in Flagstaff…. but that’s ok I guess, since I’m not going to be anywhere near Tempe or Flag that weekend….

  491. Just checked blog for first time in a few days to find that you’re coming to Toronto and cannot stop the fangirl squeeeeeee! Also, finding it terribly difficult not to gush about some things you should totally do while you are here: hit Kensington Market (vintage clothes, fresh food, statue of Al Waxman – what’s not to like?); walk the CAMH (Centre for Addiction and Mental Health) grounds at 5 or 6 pm so the light hits the engravings in the patient-built wall at just the right angle to read them, and keep an eye out for white squirrels while you’re there; and while you’re in that neighbourhood, you should go for Ethiopian food at NuNu. Or at the very least Google all of those places on your laptop from a bathroom…

  492. Awesome you’re coming to Toronto, sorry you couldn’t duck into Vancouver while you’re in Seattle.

    Seriously considering a trip down, tho… never been to Seattle, always wanted to check it out. I’ve bought 2 e-editions of your book (the first for me, the second for my wife after I’d read two paragraphs into the introduction and knew she’d love it), and talked at least one friend into buying it as well.

    *sigh* I guess I can buy a hard copy if I can get it signed 🙂

  493. Yay Toronto! We were waiting and waiting… 🙂

  494. I’m so excited that you’ll be in the Phoenix area! I bought copies of your book for my girlfriends for their birthdays (and one for myself, of course). Hopefully we can all get in. I’d love to meet you in person! I take great inspiration and comfort from you with my own struggle with depression and anxiety. Thank you for being there, and for coming here!

    Rebekah recently posted Industrial Spider Web and Hex Nut Earrings Handmade by HardwareHoney Jewelry by HardwareHoney.

  495. It’s awesome that you are coming to Canada-land but you should make a detour to Edmonton, Alberta. Toronto is cool but not uber cool!

  496. Awwww why seattle twice
    bugger seattle come to dallas I didnt get to see you when you came :((

  497. Come to Salt Lake! I want to seeeee yoooooooouuuuuu!!!!!

    I feel it necessary to add that I’m not a stalker. The bad kind anyway. I’m the good kind of stalker. Yeah I’m just going to stop talking now.

  498. So sorry we weren’t about to make it to a signing, but the book was fabulous and we recommended it to people who loved it as well. You rock! recently posted Pets Teach Us So Much Radio & Podcast 57-Dog Friendly Wineries in the USA and Marketing Your Pet Product.

  499. Yes! San Diego! So happy! I’ll be there

  500. Even though I practically live across the street from the MN B&N you are going to, I will have to wave at you from the bar across the street (Tavern on France which has excellent Blue Chips) because I am still traumatized from being on that smallish signing space during the release of the last Harry Potter book. Several other claustrophobic and/or anxiety prone friends and I will be drinking a toast in your honor instead. Hope you have an amazing turnout and we eventually meet you someday when we don’t have to squeeze into a room with 1000 other people. If you happen to stop by the Tavern we will be the ones wearing the hats. 😉

  501. I have been wanting you to come to MN since you started this tour! And of course, it’s on the one day that my husband got Twins tickets for us. My first game at the new stadium, and one out of the four times a year that we get out ALONE without the kids. I’m really sad. But I have to put my husband and our rare date night first. I hope you understand. And I may have to mail my book to you to sign. 🙂

  502. Tempe, yay! Although I’m still a little annoyed at how Changing Hands complained endlessly about Borders and Barnes and Noble, cause C.H. was the “little neighborhood bookseller” getting picked on by the big guys, then promptly turned around and ran the real mom and pop bookshops out of business. Hhhmmmppph.

    I’ll still come, though 🙂 I bought your book the day after my R.A. diagnosis on July 3, 2012, and it’s brought many smiles into my currently very dark world. I’ve got my eyes peeled for a tiny shrieking alligator now, gotta get me one of those, thanks for that.

    Debra recently posted On Chemo Drugs and Second Anniversaries.

  503. Ugh. WEST COAST tour. Stupid Toronto is closest AND THERE’S NO TIME TO GET A PASSPORT. See you on volume two tour? Frowny face. (I still love you.) (In a non-creepy way.)

    KATHY P IN PITTSBURGH- ROCK THAT PETITION, GIRL! I’m totally in. Three hours away, I visit Pittsburgh like once every month to see my mum. It’s totally doable.

  504. Please please please come to Detroit!!!!

  505. I also vote for another stop in Vancouver. Please? You can stay at our place if you want. And we’ll even leave. It’s like a license to loot!

  506. 507
    Susan Housel

    I can’t believe you’re coming to Toronto and I have to fly to Reno for work the same day – grrrr…..

  507. You come to Denver the day I get my wisdom teeth out, so I’m going to be a drugged up on a couch 45 minutes away instead of seeing your ridiculous self. I would be angry at you if it wasn’t so ironically parallel.

    Emma recently posted Get Them Creative Juices Flowing.

  508. I just squealed with joy seeing that you are coming to Mpls!

  509. 510
    Wendy Rosen

    I can’t wait to see you in AZ! Since I bought your book electronically, I may have to have you sign a stuffed animal 😉

  510. We can’t wait to see you in Minneapolis! My book club read your book in May, so we are planning to be there. We’d love it if you’d come have a drink with us afterwards… we’re a lot of fun!!

  511. Gah, no Milwaukee! 🙂

  512. woohooo!!! Two nights in Seattle. Let me know if you are board and stuff.

  513. I laughed so hard once I discovered your blog that, one, I actually shelled out the money to buy your book on my Nook. And I NEVER buy full-priced books on my Nook. I couldn’t even read the book in bed before going to sleep, because I kept my husband awake I was laughing so hard. And I thought I could re-read the book and not laugh as hard the second time around. I laughed just as much. You are a full-on riot.

  514. It’s too bad you won’t make it up to Vancouver, BC. My partner likes to sit in her office and laugh to herself while reading your blog.

    It was quiet fortuitous that your book came out when it did. Her birthday was April 21 and the book arrived a few days prior. I ended up being rushed to the hospital in an ambulance the morning of the 21st. She went home to gather some things and I asked her to grab a parcel from a secret spot. She brought it to the hospital and I had her open it. She was so happy. It helped to lift her spirits and distract her from worrying about me. 🙂

  515. Ahhh August 13th?!?!? I really really want to meet you and, despite my copy being on Kindle, get a paper copy with your autophragh…. but I’m having cancer surgery on the 6th… So if nobody minds me rolling up all high on vicodin and bandaged up like the Frankenstein monster, I plan to be there.

    Seriously y’all, I could make the effort to like. Drape myself in something?

  516. I can’t believe Powell’s in Portland is making you schlep all the way out to their Beaverton location. The indignity! Don’t they know who you are?

    I’ll be there with bells on…and I’ll park my car within easy getaway-driver distance, just in case you should find yourself in need. Not to brag, but I’m pretty sure I’d be the best getaway driver ever.

    Shopping's My Cardio recently posted help wanted!.

  517. You forgot to add Dayton, Ohio! 🙁

  518. TORONTO 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 I will take the day off from World’s Biggest Bookstore to be at Indigo!

  519. Hey Jenny,
    Just finished your book! Loved it!!! So glad to have company in the “It’s the PTSD talking” realm. My Daddy drove down the Parkway with a pony (for which I had begged ) in the backseat of his Cheverolet – circa 1967. It was awsome as a five year old. Not so much after that.
    On the bright side – mom had a cow when she found out. Not literally of course. That would have been bad. And would have hurt.

    love & hugs,

  520. 521
    Cindy Wilson

    Absolutely LOVE your blog, and can’t wait to read your book (it’s next in line once I’m finished my current book)! So glad you’re coming to visit us in Canada too. I plan to try and make it to Toronto for that!

  521. Nice tour locations. What the hell?? What about those of us that live in shit-hole towns like Wall?
    Places the rest of the world doesn’t even know about and where there isn’t shit to do but read blogs that make you laugh your ass off. Thanks for that at least.

  522. But never Pittsburgh. NOBODY ever wants to come to Pittsburgh!

  523. Can’t wait to LOL reading your book! If it is half as funny as your site, I’ll be contorted on the floor doing the ugly crying LOL.

  524. Vancouver, BC, Canada is not far from Seattle. Couldn’t you come here, too?

  525. I second Carol! Pleaaaaase Vancouver!

  526. This just made my whole month!!!! I thought you weren’t going to e anywhere near us bit you are, yay. Ill have to get a new book lost mine and my friends’ when my house flooded :/ You’re a hoot! Thank you for everything.

  527. So excited you are coming to Seattle. I live very close to the Elliott Bay Bookstore. If you have a chance to eat at Oddfellows next door, do so. It’s a must.

    I loved your book and look forward to seeing you.

  528. 2 dates in Seattle, but you can’t make it to Western Canada? One date in Toronto does not a Canadian tour make!

  529. Have fun in Seattle and good luck with the book tour!

  530. My favorite Aunt informed me of your blog (as she knew I’d appreciate it due to the strangely terrible but also hilarious things that tend to happen to me), and I just can’t get enough of it! I belong to a book club and can’t wait for the next meeting so I can introduce your book to everyone else! Thank you for writing what you write. It makes me more aware of the funny side of the irony that is my life.

  531. Of course you’re going to be in Seattle for two nights! We are going to rock that Costco in bulk. They will never know what hit them. Elliott Bay Books is used to crazed reader parties. I am booking a hotel downtown right now. Or a friends, sofa. I need to save money for booze.

    mamikaze recently posted Step away from the spray paint.

  532. There is a contest on Penguin Canada’s Facebook page for your Toronto stop for a chance to meet you, how cool is that, you is a prize!!

  533. I so wish that I had even an inkling of an idea that you were coming to Canada. I am the owner of a fantastic bookstore in Victoria BC just north of Seattle. Would have loved to sneak you across the boarder for an amazing night at our store! We love you here in Canada too don’t forget about us next time!!!


  534. Toronto is hardly a trip to ‘Canada’… I mean yes, it’s IN Canada but it’s basically like going to the states and only stopping in New York and calling it a tour of the US. Come to more major cities here! I promise we’ll show you love.

  535. Have fun in TO! It can be a wild ride….

    The Hook recently posted The Hook Dodges A Bullet – Barely!.

  536. *FLAIL* YOU’RE COMING TO MINNEAPOLIS. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH. (So very glad I decided to catch up on your blog today so I didn’t miss it. *adds to calendar*)

  537. Jenny,
    I would love to come meet you at Powells Beaverton, I love your blog, and your book, and just think you’re an inspiration to women who aren’t “normal”. There is just one problem. I bought the audio book. Will there be posters or something I can buy?

    Thanks, Epiphany

  538. The absolute highlight of my week will be tomorrow night in the Twin Cities.

  539. Husband just agreed to accompany me to visit your in Tempe. All it took was reading your blog on Belize and telling him this was important to me. Yay for awesome hubbies (and yes, he asks me to stop talking all the time!).

  540. your are awesome love your book read it while I am proctoring test which is not good because your book+silent room full of stressed students=me try so hard to not make noise as tears of laughter are rolling down my cheek thank you

  541. I am so crazy sad to miss your Denver stop, I have a reveal that night. Maybe you will see my comment and decide you need company Sunday night and we can go out for drinks. 😉 I’m native to CO and know Denver well, I could be your tour guide. 😛

    Brooke Summer Photography recently posted European Adventures, Honeymoon Day 2 – The Sunset Bus Tours – Chapter 3.

  542. Jenny PLEASE come to Portland Maine…you have such a devoted following here 🙂

  543. Just finished reading your book. I had a lot of doctor appointments, and hair appointments, basic waiting room situations in which I would read something, start laughing, try to stop, then start to cough, then just lose it. “I’m sorry”, I would say to one of the other people in the waiting room who were obviously not reading your book. “It’s just really funny.” I’d get it under control, then I’d read something else equally outrageous. I had to step outside to get ahold of myself.

    The best part was last night when I was reading in bed. I was propped up on pillows, with your book resting on my rather jiggly belly. Within minutes, I was laughing and the book began shaking as in a PSA for what can happen during an earthquake.

    I, too, am a Texan, living near Houston among the chemical plants while you get to be all Hill Country. I would be bitter, but I just had too much fun reading your book. I look forward to reading your blog.

    Thanks for a great weekend!

  544. 545
    Stacey Fruits

    Any chance that you are coming to the midwest/st. louis area on another leg? Did I already miss that leg? Please tell!

  545. What about hometown appearances? Yes, I mean Houston.

  546. Just finished the chapter on “Stanley the magical squirrel”. THANK GOD I was already sitting on the toilet, cause I would have had a mess to clean up! I peed I cried and then I dried! I love you Jenny!

  547. WHAT??? Charlotte not good enough to visit??? or are you wanted here…. too? 🙂

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