I’m just not going to talk anymore.

Victor and I are currently arguing about a large number of words which I apparently mispronounce, but I suspect that if those words are mispronounced it comes from the fact that I read much more than I speak, so (in my head) lots of words sound different. Victor says he agrees, if “different” means “wrong”.

For instance, I pronounce the word “homemade” as “wholemade” whenever I’m referring to something lovely that’s made from scratch, and Victor can’t stop correcting me.   But I think it makes sense because even though the word is spelled the same, there is a big difference between “wholemade” and “homemade” because (to me) “wholemade” implies that it’s wholesome and hand-made with love, but “homemade” is more like stuff you make at home but that you wouldn’t sell at a Farmer’s Market.  It’s the difference between wholemade bread and homemade bombs.

Example:  Most meth is homemade, but that doesn’t mean that it’s good.  It’s only wholemade if it’s wholesome.  That’s how words work.  Victor says “That’s how society breaks down” and I was like, “I agree.  Meth is a real problem” but then he explained that he was referring to me using the word “wholemade”, which I think is a pretty good indicator that Victor really needs to reexamine his priorities.

Also, spellcheck is weighing in by trying to change “wholemade” into “whore-made” and I don’t even know where to start with that because it’s so baffling.  I was like, “What the shit, spellcheck?” and I showed it to Victor and he said, “WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

I have a feeling I’m not winning this argument, but it’s become a weird tradition to do polls on Sunday, so here you go:



And now, time for the weekly wrap-up:



Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Chasing the Donkey, a travel blog that focuses on traveling Croatia like a local.  It’s written by SJ Begonja, an Australian expat who lives in a small Croatian village after she and her Croatian husband and son packed up their lives to go and rebuild the old house they inherited.   And now I want to go to Croatia.  Thanks a lot, SJ.

236 thoughts on “I’m just not going to talk anymore.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I used to say “de-thaw” until college when I was mocked. My Mom even says it. So I’m totally with you on messing things up. At least yours make sense 🙂

  2. And thank you for posting this just now. I can look at your pins instead of watching The Wall which my husband is subjecting me to. Just another brick in the wall.

  3. I googled “wholemade” out of curiosity, and there are a bunch of natural skincare and assorted other natural things, then this yelp asking, “Where can I get some whole made jam?”
    I think you’re in the clear.

  4. Please, please, please tell me though that you would never, ever pronounce library as “libary.” That would be really sad. Unless you were joking, or being ironic. Then it’s cool.

    (Never. Never ever. ~ Jenny)

  5. This is an important topic. Feels like we need a club or a forum or something. One of the rules has to be no mocking and correcting. I pretty much mispronounce something daily or forget entire words and just chalked it up to a neurological glitch. I like it better that I am a Bloggessian Human. Fuck of word nazis.

  6. I see nothing wrong with this! Obviously wholemade is a totally true word … honestly though I am not sure what ‘whore-made’ is. Unless we are applying to babies, as in ‘this baby is totally whore-made’. Or ‘where can I get the finest whore-made babies?’ My infertility may be showing slightly.

    I would like to lodge a complaint: my credit card bill did not say I bought cocaine and it was very disappointing to me. I would like to be on someone’s watch list….

    Wait, I’m probably on one now for whore-made aren’t I? Exciting!

  7. I’m excited and confused. For the first time, I am in the majority when it comes to the poll. I don’t know why this is so exciting to me. Maybe this year I’ll make friends. Who knows?
    Also, I can’t figure out what is wrong with “de-thaw”. Auto-correct is not sure what to do with the word. Seriously, is this not a real word? I dethawed pork-chops for dinner. See! I used it in a sentence. It must be real. I’m taking comfort in the fact that I know to wash my clothes instead of warsh my clothes and we shop at K-Mart not K-Mark.

  8. I do try let things slide, but if you ever pronounce chimney as chimbly, I might get a bit stabby. Not that you would, but I know someone who does and I dread talking to her in the winter.

  9. How long have you and Victor been married/together? He should be used to your weird little quirks by now and should leave you alone. [And I meant “Weird little quirks” in the best way of course.]

  10. Speaking of the word “jewelry”, I’d much rather hear it pronounced ‘jewry’ instead of JOOL-AH-REE. Makes me nuts. On the other hand, I always mispronounce “gauge” because when I read it, in my head it rhymes with ‘dodge’. So carry on in your wholemade fashion, you’ve got my support!

  11. We make up words in this house so they make sense all the time. My 4 year old came up with “sidewards’. There is frontwards and backwards, but then sideways? How does that make sense? Hence……sidewards.

  12. The comment thread is already scarily long – has anyone else mentioned that Terry Pratchett’s Tiffany Aching books had a running joke about how many words she mispronounced because she only read them? And that Pratchett got an award from the Girl Guides for writing what they considered to be a realistic girl hero in Tiffany?

  13. This is all well and good but how do you pronounce ‘Alzheimers’? Do you say ALZ-heimers or do you pronounce it “old-tymers”? Because THAT’S some fucked up shit right there.

  14. Why is there no option in the poll for “Whole-made is such an awesome word that I never heard before and now I want to use it all the time. Also, whore-made. Snort.”
    Because this should be an option.

  15. I’m sorry. I never thought the day would come, but I agree with Victor on this one.

    I admit, I’ve been caught out by words which I’ve read turning out to be provinces differently than the way I read them, but you have to move on.

    (also, whole are would mean made completely, or made in one piece. Not made wholesomely, surely?)

  16. I say the W in sWord and my husband always makes fun of me…. I can’t help it. I never even knew I said it weird till we started dating.

  17. My grandad says “flustrated.” And “play” instead of pay. My grandmother couldn’t pronounce Panera for her life and my mom can’t figure out the order of letters in Chipotle. Or “livning room”, for that matter.

    I’ve just given up.

  18. This poll may be skewed. “Jewry” is a completely separate word from “jewelry”, so perhaps the people you believe are mispronouncing the word are, in fact, completely correct.

  19. Just admit you made an awesome new word and your keeping it.
    Don’t pull that vegetarian “hot dog” crap
    We KNOW it’s not a hot dog. Just admit you like it for what it is and move on.
    I will happily jump on the wholemade bandwagon.

  20. PS I agree with Victor, but I still like you the best. Just to be clear.
    And you can make up words if you like. Shakespeare did it all the time, and I hear he’s doing OK

  21. I’m dying laughing, my Hubster always makes fun of me and my family for mispronouncing words. In a conversation a few years back my Dad called wrought Iron “Wroth Iron”, ever since then whenever I say something incorrect, the Hubster in turn says “okay, Wroth Iron”. I feel your pain, my Kevin in your Victor to a tee, both feel as if they’re long suffering and destined for sainthood….

  22. My husband always pronounces ‘sandwiches’ like ‘samiches’ and doesn’t think he’s wrong. I always correct him but he has a problem eating something made by an evil spell caster on a beach.

  23. You like Cabin in the Woods because it’s Joss Whedon. And Joss is the bestest (totally a word)

  24. My husband says, “Supposably” which irritates the crap out of me. I corrected him and he got all confused and started saying, “Pussopaly.” I just let him say what he wants now.

  25. As long as you pronounce nuclear correctly, I’m ok. It’s nu-clee-err, not nu-cu-ler.

  26. Once upon a time, my husband (now ex-) had lunch at a local diner advertising Ho-made chili. So he asked, “Hey, which one of you Ho’s made the chili?” They did not laugh. He was afraid to eat – those Ho’s might have done something nasty to his lunch!

  27. I have called windshield wipers “whipper-wipers” my whole dang life…until my husband asked me what the hell I was talking about. And I was like, what do you mean? WHIPPER-WIPERS!!!

  28. As long as you don’t “axe” me something or order an “expresso.” Then I’ll have to give you Sheldon Cooper’s patented look of derision.

  29. I admit I correct my husband who constantly mispronounces words and people’s names (every time he says Ben Aflac I want to smack him) and I know that he does it because he reads more than he converses. Because he hates people. I get it. I hate people too. But I am also a sworn agent of the Grammar and Spelling Law Enforcement Agency of the United States of America so I’m sorry, if you are going to say non-words like “irregardless” and “supposibly” right in front of me, you are going to get a Grammar Taser to the crotch. It’s the law. I am merely trying to help my husband learn from his mistakes before he gets nightsticked on the head for mispronouncing espresso and bruschetta as “broo-shetta” (it is “broo-sketta”) and “expresso.”

  30. I can let “wholemade” pass because you used, like, bulletproof logic to defend it. But if you ever say “Supposably,” I will never speak to you again. Which I know would be devastating for you. 😉

  31. The dictionary changed the meaning of Literally. So… anything goes, babe.
    I always want to say – Immaculent, but of course, it’s – Immaculate. And my mom catches it every time I say it. I guess the lent on the end of the way I say it would make it a hypocritical word.

  32. I have a PhD in English and I wholeheartedly endorse “wholemade.” In our family, I’m the one always asking my tall husband to “reach me down the [something he put up on a stupidly high shelf]” and telling the kids to “sleep a good sleep” at bedtime or saying “that’s a whole nother thing.” You are good.

  33. Well… Wholemade can be something you made entirely on your own. Which can include meth… Or not. I dunno.

  34. My husband’s late aunt used to read a lot, mainly Book of the Month Club books. Once, in her reading, she had come across the word “pseudo,” but when she tried to use it in a sentence to impress us, it came out “puh-suedo.” We let it pass. She was a great cook who made killer tacos, so a little mispronunciation here and there was no biggie. At least she didn’t pronounce them as “taycos.” That would be a sin.

  35. I think you made up a new word and should throw other words like “genius” and “pioneer” in Victor’s face. I used to say “flip the bill” instead of “foot the bill.” Personally I prefer my way–who puts their foot on the restaurant table?

  36. At some point people convinced me to stop pronouncing the word hover as “hoover”. But now I think it was a mistake to cave. I think you should stick to your gums.

  37. I mispronounce words all the time. In fact, up until a few years ago, I found out I was mispronouncing my own (married) last name! Who knew the Scottish throw in a hawking up a loogie sound for an ‘H’?? Well, I guess I know NOW. 🙂 Just recently, the husband gave me a hard time for mispronouncing “where” vs. “wear.” ? He says for “where,” you throw in the ‘H’. I’ve always pronounced them the same. It’s that damn Scottish dialect, isn’t it?? haha. 🙂

  38. “Uhventually”. Absolutely hate that one. I used to say “seepus” instead of “sepsis”. Now there is a “real” disease called “seepus of the peepus”. It happens when you make up words or pronunciations of words. So now you have Seepus of the Peepus. You’re welcome.

  39. My mother, who is an educated woman who made a career of transcribing words, pronounces it “liberry”. She knows and sometimes says it the correct way but most of the time it’s “liberry”. It makes me cringey, which is totally a word!

  40. Is it wrong that I wanted to choose more than option on the poll? I usually do and am wondering if I’m the only one…
    That video was a special kind of wonderful by the way. And I know someone who could use that t-shirt.. That someone could be me.

  41. I voted for “English is a living language…”, but ” Meh. As long as you don’t say “flustrated” or “liberry” I pretty much let it slide. ” really applies too. I had a hard time choosing. I like your use of wholemade, but I think it is a different word from homemade, not just a mispronunciation (and it should be added to the dictionary!). (I totally agree about the meth too!) So that’s my take. My husband is always on my case for saying, ” A whole nother…” As in, “I’ll just have to make a whole nother batch of meth because this one is ruined.” But I know I’m not the only one who does it because I have noticed a ton of people using that since he started picking on me about it.

  42. @Insanex3, OMG, my ex’s family said “wroth iron” too! DROVE ME NUTS. On the other hand, I have a very hard time reading “awry” as AH-RYE and not AWE-REE. I say the word correctly but until, maybe 5 years ago? never knew how to spell it! And I’m a librarian!

  43. On the one hand, as a lover of words, I feel Victor’s pain. On the other hand my Yankee husband is constantly mocking my southernisms (and that is a real word y’all) and I’m fixin’ to up and slap him if he doesn’t quit it.

  44. You need another option on the poll! It’s really weird you pronounce it as Whole-made however that definition is so perfect you need to turn it into an actual word.

  45. I agree with Tempest. I think you just created a new word, you’re not mispronouncing an existing one.

    FYI I have the same problem with reading more than I talk and therefore not knowing how to pronounce some words. I had phonics in first grade, but that only goes so far. Happily, online dictionaries oftentimes have a sound clip attached to the word entry that lets you hear how it’s supposed to be said. I don’t use that feature very often but I’m glad it’s there.

  46. Diva and I have had the same problems, as has Wolf…we read more than we speak. She pronounced, ‘eptiome’ as ‘epeh-tome’, rather than ‘E-pit-oh-me’.

    Of course, she deliberately mispronounces ‘avacado’ as ‘ah-VAK-ka-doe’ because she’s trying to drive me INSANE.

  47. I actually love it when my wife misprounces words. It’s one of the many ways I know she is fabulous and unique.

  48. Or pronouncing hight “hiTH” … that annoys me to no end and may have been a major contributor to my divorce. But most things? Whatevs.

  49. I hate your poll, only because I really didn’t want to choose just one answer. 😉 Wholemade, and Whoremade, both good words in my opinion. We make up words in my house all the time. Victor is just jealous he doesn’t have your linguistic flair.

  50. When I met my wife, she called grilled cheese, ‘cheese grilled’, It took me a while, and several Google searches, to get her to change.

  51. I agree with the choice that we speak a living language and new words happen all the time…which is what I think you’ve done here. To combine “wholesome” and “homemade” to create a new word with its own distinct meaning. At least that is what my linguistics professor would say!

  52. I consider flustrated a real word as well. Flustered and Frustrated = Flustrated, it is quicker to say and encases both meanings… why Webster hasn’t gotten off their ass, I don’t know. 😉

  53. The brilliant nerds who excel at Jeopardy frequently mispronounce words they’ve read and never heard spoken aloud. So you have good company. Just don’t remind me about the former president of the united states who liked to send in the calvary. NOW THAT DROVE ME CRAZY.

  54. We’ve been to Croatia. It’s really awesome. You should go. While you’re in that area, check out Montenegro. My husband wants to retire there. Also, cats in that area of the world play the bag mice game the same as the cats here. I think this is proof of a conspiracy. And I, for one, welcome our new cat overlords.

    P.S. My husband used to say amblee-ance (for the vehicle, not the other thing) and lozenger, but he’s from Philadelphia.

  55. I agree with the people who feel that you’re not really mispronouncing “homemade,” you’re making up a new word. This is important to me because it drives me nuts when people mispronounce. The more I think about it the more I like the word “wholemade” and might even start using it myself because the distinction you proposed is quite sound.

  56. My husband says “prentzel” for “pretzel,” and “drawl” for “draw.” Tell Victor I said, “Hey. I’ll see you at the meeting.”

  57. I say “mortarcycle” instead of “motorcycle.” I don’t know why or what it means as I’m not a WWII vet, I’m just a chick in perimenopause (another label to pin to my forehead), but just as scary I suspect.

  58. Now I need to think about changing all the titles and tags in my Etsy store from homemade to wholemade. Thanks for the suggestion, Jenny!

  59. I shall now incorporate my new favorite word, “whoremade,” into my everyday vocabulary.

    Oh, and give it up Victor. There’s no way to win this one.

    Drive fast and take chances, kids.

  60. Your peculiar pronunciation is a regionalize associated with West Texas associated with the German and Czech migration during the 19th Century. It is now associated with very few individuals now, actually just one – you.

  61. I hate when restaurants say “homemade” on their sign. Unless they are living in the kitchen or bring it from home every day (which I wouldn’t want to eat because it would probably be cold and all botulismy). And why is Botulism spelled that way when it’s pronounced Botch-u-lism, like “boy that chef really botched up that meal and poisoned everybody)

    I guess what I’m trying to say is “when in doubt, Dr. Seuss. Which wasn’t even his real name by the way.

  62. I can’t stand those who say “flustrated” when it is actually “flusterated” How drole.

  63. Meh…I make up words myself, but it’s still pretty f’d up. Could be worse, I suppose. I kind of want to start a riot by saying “Ho’made”. But, in the interest of not wanting to get my butt kicked today (and that it’s Sunday, which is supposed to be a day of rest), I’ll just hush. Hey, look folks…I can be taught. ;D ;P

  64. I don’t see it as mispronouncing a word, more that you created your own word that is well defined and separate from “homemade” . They are two different words and define two different things. You are genius. I will look for “wholemade” to make it to the dictionary soon.

  65. So I read this to my husband and he says that I just used my fucked up reasoning to justify your fucked up reasoning. That my messed up brain agrees with your messed up brain because your defense makes perfect sense to me in that you aren’t pronouncing it wrong, you’ve created a new, similar word, that means nearly the same thing but is more accurately descriptive. According to my husband we are just two crazy people in one padded room. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that 1) A padded room sounds awesome, like a room, that is sort of all bed but you get a neat jacket too; 2) They rarely put two people in one padded room; 3) There are way more than two of us.

  66. We passed a diner in southern Utah that advertised ho-made pies. My husband wanted to stop but I insisted we keep going.

  67. When my hubby says “in-CHER-sting” (that’s supposed to be “interesting”) I want to gouge his eyes out. He knows I hate that, but he says it anyway. I was taught to look up a word in the dictionary if I didn’t know how to pronounce it properly. The problem with the hubs is that his mother was an English major who attended Cornell University, so whatever pronunciation she used HAD to be the correct one, right? Nooooo. She also used the term “atall” which I can only assume meant “at all”. Drove me nuts. Sorry, Jenny, but I will admit I am a grammar & spelling Nazi. I’m a great proof-reader if you ever need one!

  68. My bbf says “interPET” instead of “interPRET” and it bothers me so much that I kinda want to set him on fire sometimes when he says it. Especially because he says it like 25 thousand times when we are arguing about things I know about and he doesn’t. It wouldn’t bother me nearly as much though if he weren’t the programmer of a reading program that tests children on being able to pronounce friggen words. If you teach language, you should be able to pronounce things right… if you, however, write funny blogs, you can use any made-up words you want to… though admitting it was a new word instead of a pronunciation of something else makes one safer from fire administered by me.

  69. I have the same problem! It was really brought to light when my husband and I read Game of Thrones and then tried to discuss it, but he says all the names wrong, like HBO does in the show.

  70. I know this isn’t your fault, but Pinterest is being a bastard. It has that half cover on the screen making you join. Can you talk to them?

    (I wish I could. I really hate that and I’m hoping they’ll go back to the old way. Can you join with a fake email? I’ve joined and it’s free and I’m never emailed, but God knows if that will always be true. ~ Jenny)

  71. I did not find the video lovely, it’s reinforcing stereotypes and ultimately not cool. She is graceful and dancing, he is climbing mountains, the dog is with him, she is enticing him while he is doing, I hated that video. First time I ever I disagreed with you, at least, first time I can remember.

    (I actually had that same initial reaction – I’m working on a post right now about gender stereotypes – but then I watched again and thought of it as a specific story about those two people and not a universal story of all people. Then I rather enjoyed it. ~ Jenny)

  72. Happens to me all the time. And as a relatively shy person who obsesses over things that happened >20 years ago, I TO THIS DAY remember being asked to read aloud in 8th grade English. As if the fact that my paragraph contained the word ‘bosom’ isn’t mortifying enough for a 12 year old, the fact that I apparently mispronounced it and was corrected by the teacher just iced that cake. Ugh.

  73. I like wholemade as a word. I make a distinction between homemade and handmade – homemade is the dress your mother makes out of an old bedspread and forces you to wear even though it fits weirdly and all the other kids are going to pick on you; handmade is the heirloom christening gown that the family down the road keeps in a picture frame, hanging in their lounge room. . . Wholemade could be either of those things if they were made from shredded wheat or organic kale or something

  74. There’s a word for the word you’re making up, it is a malapropism. The Webster’s Dictionary defines it as: an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound. A co-worker was nortorious for doing this at the hospital where we worked. My favorite: she always said patients going to dialysis were dialysizing (like Jazzercise) instead of dialyzing. Which always made me imagine these poor patients in leg warmers, and sweatbands doing high kicks and squats to remove their toxins.

  75. @lunalu – “Also, I can’t figure out what is wrong with “de-thaw”. Auto-correct is not sure what to do with the word. Seriously, is this not a real word? I dethawed pork-chops for dinner.”

    There’s already a real word for dethaw – it’s freeze. 🙂

    When you put “de” in front of a word, it’s a negation – a reversal of the word it’s prefixing. If you thaw something, you un-freeze it. If you de-thaw something you’ve un-un-freezed it – or in other words, frozen it.

  76. That is a new word, not a mispronunciation. Totally different thing.

    My hubby mispronounces theater all the time. Apparently “They Ate Her” is how he thinks it needs to be said. It confuses me.

  77. my mom struggles with prostrate and prostate which is unfortunate because my dad had prostate cancer and had to tell people. I tried hard not to laugh every time. (he’s fine now, amazing what they can do!) She also says crouch for crotch and all sorts of other strange things. I cringe at a whole nuther. As opposed to a half nuther?

  78. Is it wrong that my two sisters and I are making an extensive list of the many words that our mother mispronounces? We plan to come up with a clever way to work them all into her eulogy someday.

  79. My mom used to say “petique” instead of “petite.” Drove me nuts. I think that is why she continued to do so.

  80. You guys spell jewellery wrong, just saying… I remember walking around New Orleans wondering why your jewellery stores were missing some letters in their signs.

    I had an ex gf who still says pacific instead of specific – but I put it down to her being British!

  81. Cabin in the Woods is fucking great. We were on our way to see it after having dinner at one of those hibachi grill restaurants, and some old dude at the table with us made fun of us for paying to see one of “those movies.” We sort of brushed it off because that guy was a douche anyway and had been laughing at his own jokes all night, but then we saw the movie and were all “fuck that guy, that movie is awesome.”

  82. It drives me crazy when people say draw instead of drawer. Draw is a verb, drawer is a noun.
    Word play, such as wholemade is a sign of intelligence.

  83. It’s such a relief to know that I’m not the only one who gets things wrong because I learned to pronounce words in my head while reading! My pronunciation is also weird because my twin brother learned to talk from me, which made both of us talk funny until we went to speech therapy, and learned to talk with a clipped British type accent. Which was later mixed with a Texas drawl, pretty much confusing everyone. Ya’ll care for a spot of tea?

  84. I have to disagree with both you and Victor and say that you’re making up a completely new word. That’s totally different from mispronouncing a word. I do like the word wholemade, though. Also whoremade. Hopefully I can figure out how to use both of them in one sentence.

  85. I was taught to look up a word in the dictionary if I didn’t know how to pronounce it properly.

    And to get to the dictionary we had to walk twenty miles uphill both ways in the middle of a snowstorm–HEY!!! GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!!

  86. There is a internet picture floating around of a sign – “ho made apple butter”, and typed underneath the words ‘bitch did what?’ At home sometimes I will just yell ‘HO MADE APPLE BUTTER!’, just to hear ‘bitch did what?’ Echoing from another part of the house.

    My husband and I used to inside joke mispronounce some words, but in my old age I have gotten less tolerant of it. Like pronouncing gym as guy-m al la Simpsons… I recently told him he has to stop. Or we would say tabos instead of tacos, since our old phones would autocorrect to tabos for some reason.

    But in general, I think we should try to pronounce words correctly. I read more than I talk too, so I run into this, but if ii find out I am wrong, I will fix it.

  87. I love wholemade and think it should be used with pride. I struggle with ADHD though so I have a lot of partialmade lol.

  88. My husband says that Shakespeare made up words all the time, so maybe you are the next Shakespeare.

  89. I didn’t realize you went to ASU!! I was there from 93 to 97 as well, it makes me squeal a little to think I might have known you way back when. I’m such a nerd!

  90. This is SO me! Hearse, labyrinth, and many other words I say wrong because that’s how my head says them when I read! I still can’t force myself to say cavalry: I say calvary, even though I’m well aware that’s a proper noun, not a group of armored men on horses.

  91. There is a ple-THOR-a of words I’d never heard pronounced other than from myself and had to eventually be corrected. Like PLETH-ora. (Yes, I’d heard it used in “The Three Amigos!” about piñatas but I wasn’t about to assume that those characters were pronouncing it correctly.

    Also, I am not a fan of horror movies, but I also enjoyed “The Cabin In The Woods.” Well, up to a point. [That point being the ending. But I won’t elaborate.]

  92. If you listen to how “wholemade” sounds rather than how it’s spelled, it’s really the same as “whoremade” or even “whore maid”, so there’s that. Maybe Victor is correct on this one…

  93. I am also a grammar/pronounciation freak–but I like the new word ‘wholemade’. Not a pronounciation issue to me—just a new word!

    In fairness, though, I have to confess to whoever brought up “epitome” that that is still how I say it in my head LOL.

  94. I get annoyed with “fustrated” and hear it often. THE R IS NOT SILENT people. Also, my mom would always say that she needed to “unthaw the steaks”. I caused some disagreements when I would say that I would prefer not to have my meat re-frozen.

  95. Haha don’t worry… I’ve more than once pronounced words like quay like they look… Not ‘key’ like it sounds. Hubby never let me live it down.

  96. Also when my aunt was alive we used to ask her what was the name of that stuff she kept out to make her house smell nice. Because she would say “oh, it’s pot-purry!”. We would always laugh and correct her and the next time she’d pronounce potpourri the same way again. Now that is one of our favorite stories to tell about her and laugh while we reminisce. Sometimes mispronunciations are awesome. Except when they forget the R. That’s just not cool.

  97. Years ago, my husband and I were driving through Utah, and passed by a diner advertising “Ho’made pies!” (Exclamation point theirs). I may have a photo somewhere.

  98. I was rubbing in oinkment as I read this post. That is the absolute truth. Have I told you told you lately that I adore you? In a non-creepy way, of course.

  99. My kids have always used the word “sidewards” to refer to something that is not frontwards or backwards, but facing to the side. I don’t correct them since I think it makes sense and it should be a word. They also use the word “forenog” which is referring to the forehead portion of their noggin. 🙂

  100. @Kara #105 THANK YOU for pointing that out, I was hoping someone would beat me to it.

    @schnauzermom #39 Good to see another member of The Agency here. I carry a dagger rather than a tazer. Old School justice is more my style.

    My husband grew up in the deep south but was born to Yankee parents with serious MA accents. He mispronounces things sometimes because he either never heard the word spoken aloud and only read it in a book or only heard it pronounced with a serious southern drawl/MA accent. I’m still working on him, but we’re getting there. No dagger needed. Yet.

  101. I managed to use “broughten” in a sentence this week. My conversation with my husband screeched to a halt as I kept muttering “Broughten, really? What the heck is wrong with me?” while my husband hysterically laughed at me. I think “wholemade” is significantly better than “broughten”.

  102. Do you also say “Warshington” instead of Washington? That makes me batty! I make up words daily so I shouldn’t judge, but I do. Judgey McJudegerson, that’s me.

  103. Worst offenders:

    “A whole ‘nother” is so common right now that I feel like it will become acceptable. AAAAGGGHHH! Horrible!

    I “seen” (instead of I “have seen” or I “saw”)

    I know a woman in her 50s that says “Romanian” lettuce (instead of Romaine). Seriously.

  104. I’m holly behind you on this. Holly rather than wholly, because it makes a whole lot more sense. Holly behind you is better, because people might think Wholly should read as wolley. And holly, rather than holey, or even holy, is very Christmassy. Though holy is a bit Christmassy, or Christmas is a bit holy, depending on how much you worship consumerism.

  105. Hubby thinks I have my own language. Luckily the words I make up or say incorrectly he finds endearing which I guess is useful…

    As we are from different parts of the county we pronouce things differently all the time. For example: Bath is pronounced by Hubby as ‘barth’ but I pronouce it ‘bath’ so by default I am right even if I do sound so much more common than he does.

    My daugther had a friend who didn’t know that the police were called the police until she was about 12. Every time she saw a police car growing up her family said ‘nee naw’ mimicking the sound of the siren so she thought that is what they were called. I could argue that is worrying but I thought that being renamed ‘nee naws’ would be brillant news.

  106. I have a time with the word “crayon”. I think it’s because of the speech therapy I was in for elementary school. But I pronounce “crayon” kinda like a lazy “crown” maybe it’s the southern twang in my speech

  107. Reblogged this on Micaa Miles and commented:
    Yes, I agree here. It is the reader who does this. Know what? So long as you are not saying something like that to your English teacher, who cares? We all get what you mean!

  108. The purpose of language is to express a meaning and yours perfectly expressed the meaning so how can it be fucked up?

  109. I sometimes say words that I’ve only ever heard in my head (through reading, not the voices), too! When I’m pretty sure I’m saying them wrong, I just tell people. They look at me strangely for a second, then just move on. Only one other person I know actually gets this!!!

  110. My husband will deliberately mispronounce words as he is reading to our 5 year old. ex: aminal for animal. turkle for turtle. It drives me batshit crazy and he thinks it is cute but the poor child is going to school saying TURKLE and they are going to think he is an idiot… no… his daddy is the idiot… and laughing like a mental patient the whole time.

  111. Just last Monday I was in the library and heard the “librarian” answer the phone and say “East Atlanta liberry”.

  112. I have always pronounced “bury” as “burry” (like “furry”), and I don’t care what anyone says, because I SHOULD be right. It should be pronounced “burry” because it is related, obviously to “Burrows”. You don’t say rabbits barrow in the ground, now, do you?

  113. You’re not mispronouncing the word — you’ve coined your own new one. That’s Shakespearean, that is, but remember he wasn’t exactly blissful in his marriage. Try “wholly homemade” on for size.

    (This from the family that constantly corrects each other over the pronunciation of “dais” and “wreaking havoc”)

  114. I think mispronunciation is a common problem with voracious readers… at least that’s what I tell myself 🙂 There are just too many words I’ve encountered first in written form so I was able to make them sound however I liked in my head… and now everyone else’s pronunciation sounds wrong.

    I also think there’s a great many words that get mispronounced because of where the individual grew up. I have friends who say warsh for wash, calapitter for caterpillar, and my personal favorite brefakst for breakfast. It’s adorable and unique, Victor. (except warsh. that’s just annoying.)

  115. You tell Victor that I am just before ( I love the look on my husband’s face when I say that) coming over there and explaining that you are a freaking MASTER of the English language. When, oh when is your new book coming out? I’m just mentally preparing for the upcoming holiday season and was wondering if I was going to have to get through it with your first book ( again) or if there might be a new installment. ( no pressure).

  116. I live in a constant state of fear of mispronouncing words. Especially names. I used to think “L-M-N-O-P” was supposed to be “ellemennopee” in the alphabet until I was like 12. Then again, my parents decided to name me “Alanna”, which even my grandparents don’t pronounce correctly. Our entire language might be a joke.

  117. Oh this post has made me inexplicably happy – if I lived in americaland I would totally send you some wholemade cookies. Also that t-shirt, while most likely not understood by anyone who it is directed to, is genius. Slow.clap Jenny, slow.clap.

  118. I have that problem, I read and understand a word but I pronounce it wrong because I’ve never heard the word spoken. Adolescent was the first one I remember being corrected on, I pronounced it “a dole cent” no one knew what the hell I meant.

  119. Also, to the person who’s confused about ‘dethaw;’ your phone is confused because it’s not technically a word. The word you want is ‘thaw.’ But, people use dethaw all the time even though technically it would mean – to freeze. This is how the English language gets so confusing to learn, people.

  120. Aye I think it is making up a perfectly cromulent new word rather than mispronouncing a boring old one. I am in favour of this innovation! I mispronounce LOADS of words. That is to say, other people tell me I do. They just don’t understand that English is an evolving language and etc etc etc ;p

  121. Hey Bloggess, I would have just emailed you rather than post this publicly but I couldn’t find a good way to do it but um, I’ve been following you for a year-ish and this post for whatever reason made me kind of worried about your relationship, cause uh, regardless of whether any of us random people on the internet think your quirks are weird, your husband should ideally not be giving you too much shit about it? And I know we just see a tiny window into BloggessLand but a lot of your posts seem to be “I do/say a thing and my husband says he married a crazy person” so um, I just wanted to make sure everything is ok for you. And if everything is ok, then you can ignore this!

    (Everything is entirely okay and we both enjoy the banter and debate, and often he’s the one who says “That would probably make a good blog post”. Plus, we both think the comments are hilarious. It’s all good. ~ Jenny)

  122. I like wholemade as a new word. Since even you clearly define the difference between the two, let’s just call them two separate words.

  123. there was no poll option for “its so wrong, but l love it anyway so lets make it a word so it won’t be wrong and make people all cringey anymore” Get on it Webster peoples…

  124. I also have a husband who’s a corrector. So imagine my glee when he said his favorite Four Tops song was, “Burn the Dead.” I thought a moment. “You mean “Bernadette?” He looked embarrassed. “I thought the lyrics were kind of strange.”

  125. This entire column is seriously fucked up. You are not mispronouncing “homemade”, you are substituting an entirely different word in its place. Kindasorta. Since the word you are using isn’t an acceptable combination of letters (according to Messrs. Merriam and Webster), it might not actually be a word, but that’s not the point. The point is that your dilemma (or Victor’s) has nothing to do with mispronunciation. I’m sure you pronounce “wholemade” correctly.

  126. My hubs is Irish, and when I was pregnant and looking at boys’ names, he said he liked the name Owen. Except he liked it with the Irish spellings: Eoghan in my head sounds like EE-OH-GAN and Eoin sounds like EE-OIN. So we ended up with a Conor and Rory, no Eeoins in sight! And don’t get me started on the girls’ names…

    And count my in with the people who hate jewellery pronounced JEW-LER-REE. It’s like nails down a blackboard to me!

  127. I LOVE Cabin in the Woods! It is tied for my favorite horror movie with Tucker and Dale Vs Evil.

    Also I’m standing up for who says liberry. I work in a library as an assistant and have a pretty good college education and sometimes I pronounce it liberry. Do I feel shame about it, NOPE!
    Wholemade sounds like a made up word that is an amalgamation of words so I’m voting you’re not mispronouncing it as for just using a word that smashes two words together to mean something else. However I do have to say when I see the word wholemade it made me think of something made whole, as if it was incomplete before or maybe something made all at once as a whole thing. An example would be if you made a whole cake by using some sort of cake machine. All baked, frosted and delicious by just pushing a button instead of having to do things like add eggs and bake possibly burning down your house or worse burning your cake.

  128. My boyfriend and I have EXACTLY the same running argument. Well, not about wholemade, but about the wide number of words I apparently mispronounce because I am so over-educated that half of my vocabulary is derived only from books. “Segue” was a big one – until he corrected me, I always pronounced it Seeg. And don’t even get me started on “detritus”, which the stupid little voice on the online dictionary insists is det-rye-tus no matter how many damn times I click it.

    Just once I’d like that voice to take my side. Just once.

  129. Hey Jenny! I just finished listening to you on your audiobook. Loved it and loved your reading and singing! The bonus story should totally have been part of the book (butchered this sentence just for you). I plan to send copies of your book to my sister, s-i-l and niece.
    Thanks for making my daily commute a laughing matter, although I have turned into a real potty mouth. The gift you got from the Ice Shack guys just keeps on giving….the student became the master.
    Hugs, Dee

  130. As long as you do not mispronounce plethora as “flenora”. That is the topper for my “drive me crazy list.”

  131. I can choose more than one poll response?!? Mind = BLOWN! It doesn’t mess you up if I choose everything, right? Also, this is me trying to see if your comments are working for me. So far, so good. I’m typing. Now, let’s submit… Nope. I’ll use my other email address. This would not be a problem if I could remember my wordpress password created in like 2009…

  132. On my other computer I have a picture of a sign in front of a little country store advertising “Ho’ Made Pies”, so maybe your spell checker is on to something?

  133. “…even though the word is spelled the same…”
    Can you please explain that part? I can’t believe in almost 200 comments, nobody has asked that!

    (The word is spelled “homemade” when written, but I have two pronunciations depending on my definition. ~ Jenny)

  134. I chose “Meh. As long as you don’t say “flustrated” or “liberry” I pretty much let it slide.” I do have an addition to that list though … “nuc-u-ler.” Especially if you are an ENGINEER working on a NUCLEAR project … or the president of the United States (hint: not the current president)!

  135. Sorry about that whole “whoremade” incident. I write “ho’made” on my meal calendar and it is becoming A Thing. “Whole made” should also be A Thing. Victor needs to get hip with the times.

  136. I just used the “well, I always read words and don’t use them in conversation” argument the other day after I mispronounced “consultation”…at least I knew what I was talking about. So glad somebody else feels my pain in that situation!

  137. Most of my homemade stuff never gets 100% completed; one day I expect to complete an entire homemade project and I will then have achieved a Wholemade project!!

  138. I’m jut posting to tell Michelle of the forced The Wall watching that my husband subjects me to music video/concert/whatever The Wall is all the time :/

  139. OK now it’s MY turn to suggest an item. Way up the list, schnauzrrmom mentioned the “Grammar and Spelling Law Enforcement Agency of the United States of America” — and WOW. I want a badge. Not a Tshirt. A badge. 🙂

  140. The thing is that you’re not mispronouncing the word – you’ve made up a new word entirely. That’s completely different. You have made a new word with a new spelling and a new definition. This whole thing is a moo point.

  141. You truly make my morning when I need a big fat smile. I thank you…writing/reading/and speaking…they all sound different and weird. I would say English is hodge podge, because how I say paper mache….they would say papier mach-eh (trying to get the accent correct there). Potatoes potahtoes you know

  142. An English professor here: technically, sure, wholemade isn’t a word, but that’s prescriptive rather than descriptive. I think the explanation you provide for the difference between wholemade and homemade makes perfect sense. Twerking wasn’t a word either . . . until it was. So, tell Victor you’re right, he’s wrong, na na na na boo boo.

  143. Growing up in a Spanish-speaking country in an English-speaking household, I had the same issue with a much larger written than spoken vocabulary so there are many words that I pronounced like they sounded in my head. Like “Yose-mite” rhyming with “dy-no-mite”, or pronouncing the last two syllables of “transition” the same as the last two in “precision”.

  144. you can manipulate words to mean whatever. As long as it makes some sense. I think Wholemade makes perfect sense. My wife asked me to move the television to the other side of the room a couple of weeks ago. when she called later to see how things were going I told her that I had to remove it. She surprisingly got a little excited for some reason. I explained to her that I moved it to where she wanted it I decided I didn’t like it there, so I moved it to another location, hence removing it. I don’t think she thought it was funny at all and may very well be plotting my death.

  145. I love inventing new words, and share your logic on wholemade. If you don’t mind, I will take to using it in the same context. Who knows, it may catch on. Also, tell your husband that your creative wordplay is endearing, dammit, and he better get with the program. My mother constantly mispronounces words like worsh instead of wash and we love her for it.

  146. I could pardon you hangry instead of hungry, b/c so often we ARE angry and hungry at the same time. But, I’m a word nerd and the whole making up words thing gives me hives. So thanks. Now I have those on a Monday. Be well:)

  147. My boyfriend pronounces bagel as “bag-al” and it drives me insane. He claims it’s a Minnesota thing but I met another couple from Minnesota and they basically told me it’s just him. “I don’t know what a bagal is, but I can certainly make you a bagel…” is my common response 🙂

  148. I have that same problem – not knowing how words sound because I’ve only read them. What I think you did was create a new word and that’s awesome.

  149. I think you should be able to use all your words, including the ones you made up. Someone made up EVERY SINGLE WORD we use anyway, right? So there’s that.

  150. When I was young, my mom took a continuing education class in astronomy (because that’s important for an English teacher)…the entire class including kids was invited to the planetarium. There were pictures of space thingies on the walls with descriptions underneath. I said, “Look! There’s a nuh-boo-luh.” Everyone laughed at me and I was really upset. Later, my Mom explained that I did a great job sounding out nebula and that the English language basically sucks when it comes to pronunciation rules. Okay, she loves English, so she probably didn’t say it sucks….to this day, I read lots of words that I don’t hear spoken and I bravely pronounce them, often incorrectly. But hey, at least I’m well read!

  151. I’m kind of a nerd about pronunciation, but I’m also kind of a nerd about language in general, so there is that. Then again, it was instilled in me at a very young age that if I didn’t know for sure about something, I should look it up. It sates my curiosity, but sometimes it makes me “that guy” when it comes to words (and, oddly enough, when playing any games with rules).

  152. I’m confused. Since I’m reading “wholemade,” I don’t know how you actually pronounce it, so I don’t know what it sounds like when you say it. … Isn’t that how we got here?

  153. I’m cool with wholemade. My husband says nucular instead of nuclear which I can’t abide. I do like to say jewry and chirren for children. As long as folks use the right your/you’re and to, too, two I’m good. I just can’t get with nucular. That shit ain’t right. You can say ain’t. That’s ok.

  154. THANK GOD I AM NOT ALONE. I tend to read more than I converse with intelligent people. My spouse, being an educated sort, has no issue “helping” me with my proununcation. Among several other words, my spouse has corrected my pronunciation of misogynist.

    I’ve been saying my-so-gin-ist. He tells me its “meh-sah-gen-ist”. I still pronounce it my way in my head; associating women haters with “massage” is just wrong.

  155. Ok… you and Victor, even if it’s just one episode (long episode) please do a podcast or YouTube talk. Think of the weirdness you two could share with the world. I think I speak for many of your readers as it would be a good time. A WHOLEsome good time — unlike meth, which is a bad time.

  156. How do you pronounce ‘specific’? Please don’t say ‘Pacific’ my bf and I have almost come to throwing clothes out of the window and shredding the curtains over him saying it wrong…. Also he says ‘fieth’ a lot instead of ‘thief’. It hurts me.

  157. At risk of starting an international (or INTERNAL National) incident….
    RAY-DeeAYTor or RAD-EEAYTor?
    Also, COO-Pon or KEW-Pon?

  158. I run a library and one of my assistants used to answer the phone saying “liberry.” I died a little inside every time.

  159. Your periodic reminder:
    1. When in doubt, Victor is right.
    2. There is always some doubt.
    3. If there is no doubt, see number 1.

    You’re welcome, Victor.

    Just a bit of support from someone else who works with people who think English is an amateur sport in which every special snowfluke deserves a trophy. Oh, and no, I don’t know who peed in my cheerios this morning.

  160. As mispronunciations go it’s pretty innocuous. Don’t get me started on “brought” instead of “bought”.

    Also you should totally go to Croatia, it is stunningly gorgeous and actually really good value for money. I went to Dubrovnik this year, with pretty low expectations as I had done no research, and it is now top of my list for a return trip. Very soon. Move over Maui.

  161. I got distracted by the fact ‘cringy’ shouldn’t have an ‘e’ in in. And then I got distracted by the fact I even know that and started saying cringy over and over.

  162. When my son was about 9, he came home from school one day, slammed his backpack on the kitchen table and demanded, “Why didn’t you tell me it was FRUStrated, not FUSStrated?”
    Obviously FUSStrated is a better descriptor for how he’d been feeling w/ me as his mother.
    These kids today (although that was about 17 years ago, and he still doesn’t think it’s funny. But again: his mother).

  163. Daughter is a big reader, not a big talker. She pronounced “foliage” as “FOILage” for a decade. Since “foliage” doesn’t come up all that often in conversation, why not wait for a peer to ridicule her, right? (Now that one has, I use the term w/ her
    as often as humanly possible; I give, I give.)

  164. I can’t believe you didn’t take this chance to discuss the interesting aspects of things that are ‘homade’. Because I’ve seen that on more than one chalkboard.

  165. Yes, english is a fluid language that is evolving – but please stop using the double negations! They break my soul and english is not even my first language.

  166. I love Cabin in the Woods and I usually can’t enjoy horror at all. It’s Joss Whedon, though, so it wasn’t hard to convince me to watch. 😀

  167. In your vein of ….heard the wrong lyrics….pronounced it incorrectly.. I have the utmost empathy. Happens all the time to many of us. Just most don’t have a spouse who is willing to risk it to correct them (both you and I are the lucky few who do) or they have supposed friends who won’t blink an eye but make fun of them behind their back about it.
    My most recent. From Game of Thrones. Thought it was “milk of the puppy” for all the pains they are suffering. And in MY head it made complete sense. Its a weird world where there are white walkers and wolves for pets and mother of Dragons..why wouldn’t there be some magical elixir called Milk of the Puppy that they milked out of just new born puppy and when you took it, you would feel whole again and awesome just like a newborn puppy. Sadly I was informed by my husband laughing and mocking me…that the phrase is Milk of the POPPY. Well shit. Of course that make sense. Opium, the wizard of oz, yadda yadda. Damn too much sense. I like Milk of the Puppy much better.
    Carry on with you wholesomeness miss and have some milk of the puppy please.

  168. What? No one’s shown you The Eggcorn Database? It’s a collection of all of these things, and examples of them. http://eggcorns.lascribe.net/ Go! Enjoy! Be amused!
    P.S. “whole-made” isn’t in there, but it should be, because you have an excellent explanation of it.

  169. You know, Victor has to put up with a lot, but this miiiiight just be the final straw… (kidding!).

    I know all about this misprouncing thing ‘cos I’m emigrated and now I sound ‘foreign’ every time I open my mouth. Strangely the only person who really teases me about it is also foreign.

  170. Eh, I use “handmade” like you use “wholemade”. Because you’re right, “homemade” has a bit of a negative connotation these days, unfortunately.

  171. I used to work in a research lab. The guy down the hall was working on natural language understanding. He had a picture up on his door labeled Homemade applie pie, but the picture was of Ho-Made Apple Pie if you know what I mean. Once you hear it that way you can never unhear it.

  172. I’m a little on the late side for commenting on your wholemade blog, but I am so confused… You make things like biscuits from “scratch”??? I always thought you made them from “scraps.” Damn.

  173. Oh and do not even get me started on how my husband likes to thow a ball for the dog. Or the past tense of that which is, of course, thew. ARRRRRGGGGGHHH!

  174. The weird thing is that you insist on making it a homophone. Wholemade is a perfectly good word, spelled correctly. You should celebrate your awesome power to create neologisms.

  175. At least you are mispronouncing words that are easily figured out, my beau (that’s what you call a boyfriend when you’re, and when I say you’re I mean me, are 48 and saying boyfriends sounds stupid) makes up words. His latest. Eskimen. That apparently means a bunch of Eskimos.

  176. On the whole mispronouncing things because you read more than you speak… I totally have that trouble. My dearly departed cat had her name (Valkyrie) mispronounced for 18 years because I’d never heard the word said out loud. Which brings up the fact that it’s a crying shame that the handmaidens of Odin don’t get more press.

  177. So I read (and have read) avidly (since I was 5!!!), so there’s literally a whole slew of words that I have only ever SEEN on paper.

    Until the 1st of the new Star Trek movies, I genuinely thought “ensign” was pronounced “en-sign”, but apparently it’s pronounced “in-sin” which still makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. Like, wouldn’t religious people in the future use that as proof none of their children should enlist? “NO YOU CAN’T ENLIST, YOU’LL BE LIVING IN SIN, THAT’S WHAT ENSIGN MEANS, YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THE OTHER SIDE TO GET, GRR.”

    Also, personally, I think some words are just difficult to pronounce to fuck with the people who want to say them in addition to being able to spell them and use them correctly in a (written) sentence.

    Don’t you ever wonder who came up with pronunciation rules in the first place? Like, wouldn’t you have wanted to be THAT GUY who was like, “ah, yes, here is the letter Q. It will be written like a little circle with a kick stand and only be useful when you put the letter ‘u’ beside it except in extreme cases where things like qat will be considered correctly spelled. evil laugh I’m going to get school children and adults GOOD in the years to come!!!”

  178. I feel like I’m in opposite world. I’m totally your husband here. My husband pronounces helicopter “hee-low-copter”, and theater “thee-ate-her”. This drives me nucking futz…..Also, he sucks at loading a dishwasher and I’m constantly redoing it.

  179. I like to mispronounce things just to mess with my husband (AHA! I have a HUSBAND now… we did the marriage thing) – my particular favourite is a shop we have here in the UK that he tries to tell me is called ‘Dunelm Mill’ but I SWEAR that ‘Dunelm Miln’ sounds SO MUCH BETTER so every time we go past it I yell ‘LOOK, DUNELM MILN’ just to see the sad little look in his eyes…

  180. [218] “I can’t believe you didn’t take this chance to discuss the interesting aspects of things that are ‘homade’. Because I’ve seen that on more than one chalkboard.”
    EXACTLY. My favorite was the “Homade Tart” listed as the daily special at a fancy restaurant once when I was about 15. My mom and I laughed until we cried.

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