bizarre – Page 5 – The Bloggess

I just paid to have someone beat me up

I just had my first ever Swedish massage and it was awesome, except for the parts when I thought I was going to be murdered. Halfway through the guy told me to “smell” I was all “What?” and I opened my eyes and his hands were over my face like he was just about toContinue reading “I just paid to have someone beat me up”

FINALLY, CDC.

If you strive for constant vigilance the way I (and most of the readers of this blog) do then you are already aware that the Center for Disease Control has finally released recommendations on how to prepare yourself for the zombie apocalypse. Most of their tips are fairly good but their list of suggested suppliesContinue reading “FINALLY, CDC.”

If my t-shirt got your baby stolen then I apologize (on behalf of the t-shirt).

Ok, so last week I made this shirt for cats to wear. I made it for cats who don’t want to wear your damn shirts. But they didn’t have any cat models at my online store so instead I used a baby but then I photo-shopped my cats face on it for my blog because IContinue reading “If my t-shirt got your baby stolen then I apologize (on behalf of the t-shirt).”

Wil Wheaton and I feel embarrassed for you

Remember last week when Wil Wheaton sent me a picture of himself collating so I could use it to cure the world of bad PR pitches? If not, then you need to go back and read this. Back? Good. Then you’ll be happy to know that I have started using the Wil-Wheaton-Feels-Sorry-For-You awesomeness to great success.Continue reading “Wil Wheaton and I feel embarrassed for you”

I’ll be available for hire next week if the rest of the chupacabra body goes up for sale

Last week I got an email from a lady named Sarah who founded Juice in the City. You might be asking yourself, “What is Juice in the City and why are they emailing Jenny?” I wondered the same thing but it turns out that they wanted to hire me as their social media consultant forContinue reading “I’ll be available for hire next week if the rest of the chupacabra body goes up for sale”

Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)

I wrote this post weeks ago but then I got distracted and never published it and now I can’t remember the ending but I’m super-hurty from an arthritis flair-up so I’m posting it like it really all happened yesterday. I am the worst blogger ever. So yesterday I spent the day with Maile, Rachel, LauraContinue reading “Who the fuck has never heard of a chalupa? (Updated. Now with more apologies.)”