bizarre – Page 6 – The Bloggess

And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.

A few days ago a PR agency asked if I’d like to do a live video interview with Santa and was like “You have obviously never read me. OF COURSE I’LL DO A LIVE, UNSCRIPTED INTERVIEW WITH SANTA CLAUS WHERE I CAN ASK HIM ANYTHING WITH NO REPERCUSSIONS” and then I felt a little badContinue reading “And then they asked if I’d like to interview Santa Claus. That happened.”

Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.

So this weekend I was in the liquor store buying produce and I noticed that on the top of the tequila isle there were these giant bottles of tequila shaped exactly like life-sized rifles. And I was all “OMG, I MUST HAVE ONE” and Victor was like “Um…no. I’m not buying you a rifle fullContinue reading “Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.”

I suspect Victor is lying to me because he feels threatened by my powers

I was just outside and I heard this thrumming noise and I stopped short because I thought maybe it was a snake and I looked around and finally realized that I was hearing the sound of a hummingbird flapping it’s wings and I was all “Victor? I don’t want to alarm you but I thinkContinue reading “I suspect Victor is lying to me because he feels threatened by my powers”

This isn’t a real post

This isn’t a real post. It’s just a statement that won’t fit on twitter. My friend at Twitarded just pointed out that Judy Garland is stealing my look on her new lotto ticket and I think that’s probably not entirely true since Judy Garland died before I was born so it’s kind of impossible thatContinue reading “This isn’t a real post”

For sale: Kristoffer Kristofferson. (The other one.)

I’m packing up to move but I really don’t want to move everything, so I’ve decided to sell some stuff on ebay since that worked out so well last time. Except that ebay has a tendency to delete all of my auctions almost as soon as I post them so I’m also going to postContinue reading “For sale: Kristoffer Kristofferson. (The other one.)”

I didn’t bury the body for Earth Day though. That was just a strange coincidence.

My sister (Lisa) called me to ask what I was doing for Earth Day and I was all “Um…I just buried a Saint in the front yard?” and she was like “…Huh.” Because there’s really no other way to respond to something like that and then I started to tell her that I had toContinue reading “I didn’t bury the body for Earth Day though. That was just a strange coincidence.”